#it's queue time lads

[mrpenguinpants]

I'm glad you're getting much needed rest (please take care of yourself) but you've infected me with the brain worms. So Dictator Zhongli? does that mean he never saves Xiao? Or he does and Xiao just gets passed on from one cruel master to another? and since this is a dark au does Xiao actually enjoy killing now? or maybe he's simply lost all empathy and feelings of remorse that he no longer cares who ends up at the end of his spear, so long as his master is satisfied. is this what red Xiao is? thots are being thonk - Kiwi

Wracking my pea-sized brain to remember what post you were talking about. Thank god I link everything in my masterlist. Link to the original post here: Reverse AU

I'm glad you asked Kiwi because my next fic is set in the Reverse AU.

Okay. I have two thoughts on how this can go.

Green Xiao

In this AU, Zhongli does save Xiao but since Guizhong is dead/doesn't exist then Xiao is even more emotionally constipated to the point he probably doesn't have any. We aren't given a lot of details but I'd assume Zhongli/Guizhong taught Xiao how to cope and control his karma but now, one of them only see's value in power and the other is gone. Zhongli would probably force Xiao to live and bear his karma rather than isolate himself and cope that way. If Xiao needs to release some frustration, Zhongli can easily find a region he doesn't like. He doesn't really like the Anemo archon after all.

Red Xiao

In this AU, Zhongli doesn't even care about him. As soon as Xiao's master is dead and the war is over, Xiao is left to his own devices. Zhongli will still keep tabs on him just in case Xiao does anything to harm Liyue. But Xiao doesn't actually enjoy killing but he doesn't feel any guilt. He's pretty neutral about a lot of things and just want's to live unbothered. I don't want to get too deep into it since I have an entire fic dedicated to it but you're pretty close to what I imagine Red Xiao to be. Since I'm a sucker for teasers, here is some dialogue from that fic.

"Aren't you scared?"

"No, not really. You kill animals when you need food right? It's not any different from that."

"Are you not scared of dying yourself?"

"I'm scared. Very much so."

[mrpenguinpants]

I love the idea of zhongli being confused over what the word “vibe” means

Traveler, looking at a chunk of cor lapis: What a vibe

Childe, nodding: yeah, a vibe

- 5 mins later -

Traveler and Childe looking at Reckless Pallad: not a vibe. Begone.

- 10 mins later -

Traveler and Childe: *talking about the other harbingers*

Childe: Scaramouche is not a vibe

Childe: The Tsaritsa is a vibe tho

Traveler, nodding: Good or bad vibe?

Zhongli, on the verge of tears: Please explain.

-Juno

Sorry, you don't fit our aesthetic. We're going for dumb himbo vibes.

[mrpenguinpants]

alright so my bf and I were just talking when suddenly I mentioned Xiaoven to him, and he spent half an hour making what first popped up in his head when he heard it, the second picture is him reenacting Xiao catching crystalflies for the traveler from his bday letter (here it reads xiao as ciao), enjoy - Kiwi coming off anon this once for the sake of shitposting

This. This I like. Xiao be looking like a snacc. Look at them shoulder, my man's a brick. Who is Venti? I only know Oven. Friendship started with Venti, now oven is my boyfriend.

[mrpenguinpants]

Fuckboi Zhongli to curse your feed

If u know u know

Do you understand, the amount of money, I would fucking pay for, to hear Zhongli say "Hey gurlie". Specifically a slurred version. This man is the biggest chad in all of Teyvat, you cannot convince me otherwise. He made his human form with a dump truck of an ass, showed up to his own funeral, and made his enemy pay for it.

And you all, with your blind PG sunglasses, continue to make this man the reserved and polite himbo that he is smh

[mrpenguinpants]

ASFKAJFJAJCHD I PULLED ON THE STANDARD BANNER BC OF THE SHOP REFRESH AND??????? THEY CAME HOME???????

Dsdjajshdsj I've been waiting on a second Kaeya constellation since I started the game omg and now that Diluc's home the brothers can be reunited :'D

I literally didn't expect this so I have no weapons or artifacts for him whoops sorry Diluc you're gonna be on the bench for a while

:000000 LET'S FUCKING GO???? YOU GOT BOTH BROTHERS!!

I haven't gotten constellations for any of the starter characters which I'm actually kinda mad about because I actually use them (I built amber over Hu tao, Keqing, Qiqi, and Mona) but where the fuck are the kaeya constellations. I will never shut up about this but he is the best cyro support.

Did Diluc come first? Because I think that's funny. Kaeya always right behind his bro to annoy the piss out of him. Have you built him or is he still benched? I know mine is haha. But to be fair, I bench every character I hit friendship 10 with.

[mrpenguinpants]

no thoughts just xiao and the song “line without a hook”

Gotta love upbeat songs until you look at the lyrics and cry

Someone needs to give that boy a hug

[mrpenguinpants]

You see this? Almost the same thing-

Also you say "welcome to my TedTalk" AFTER you finish it I'm- sdfjnkmkn kek-

Mihoyo during beta testing, one of the designers was drink yakult, and had the galaxy brain idea. Thus, Kazuha was born.

There's a method to my madness. Mostly because I never end up finish my ted talk and you need to wait at least 2 more months for my part 2

[mrpenguinpants]

Razor darling, I love you. I really do. But please stop coming home, I beg you

Ah..the pain I feel in this. When I was rolling he kept coming home as well and Razor. My love. You know I love you (even tho I don't use you anymore whoops-) but please...can you bring your friend Bennett along at least??