Jun 25, 2024
Stanley goes gambling.
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Stanley goes gambling.
listen that's the game. they will not stop giving false fouls to the spurs so hit and push them. what? do you think they'll risk going down nba history as the referees who gave 50+ free throws to one team with several disputed fouls on the other side? it's career s*icide for these pendejos. wanna see them try. fall on top of frenchy, push castle, push fox, push champagne.
That splatfest was rigged, it's not fair, we kept getting mirror matches. It's official, I hate splatfest now.
Have some out of context shitpost sketches from last nights live stream
It’s RIGGED!
A/N: A piece where Spencer, Emily, JJ, Penelope, Morgan, Hotch and Rossi are taking turns playing Super Smash Brothers for the Wii U. Despite his genius, Spencer is not good. Also, this is placed before we learn of Rossi’s video gaming skills. :D @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta
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“This game is rigged! It’s fucking rigged!” Reid screamed as he threw the controller up in the air and got up. For a man who kept his cool under the worst of situations, he was getting really and truly angry. Garcia was too for that matter. The two members of the BAU you wouldn’t expect to get angry over Super Smash Brothers, were the ones absolutely losing their shit.
Granted, this was fun. The team rarely had a day off, but what was more fun was watching their two sweet friends losing their minds over a video game. “This game is rigged!” Reid screamed again. Emily and JJ were rolling around laughing, while Hotch and Rossi just smirked at the absurdity of it all. Angrily, he grabbed a drink from the refrigerator in Rossi’s house before sitting back on the couch behind the rest of the team, fuming.
Garcia sat down next to him. “There’s a bug in the game or something,” she said, conveniently missing the fact that she and Reid both sucked at video games in general.
“For two geniuses, I find it hysterical that neither of you are good at this game,” Hotch said, as Morgan passed the controller to him after losing to Emily.
Reid was tempted to keep his mouth shut, but then he figured ‘fuck it,’ they weren’t in the office and Hotch wasn’t his boss right now. “I will kill you in your sleep.”
“What was that?” Hotch asked jokingly. “What did you just say to your boss?” Turning around to face Reid, he couldn’t keep a straight face.
Reid pushed off the couch to lean up and right into Hotch’s face. “I will kill you in your sleep. You’re not my boss right now.” He giggled and fell back into the couch, pissy that he couldn’t beat his friends at any video game ever, while Garcia got up to maker herself a drink.
The entire time they’d been playing so far, Rossi had just been sitting on the sidelines enjoying the spectacle and nursing a scotch. “My turn,” he said, giving Hotch the ‘gimme’ motion and sitting back in his chair with the controller lazily placed in his lap. “Get ready to get schooled, children.” He’d had just enough scotch that he felt in the zone. “I’m of course using Link.”
“Do you play this a lot?” Emily asked. “You have a player you always use?”
“Yes, Link. I’m about to kick your ass, Emily Prentiss. I’d get ready.”
Silence fell over the crowd as Emily picked the same character she’d been playing with the entire time - Pikachu. “Ready, old man?”
“Did you just call me old?” Rossi said sitting up in a competitive stance. “Now you should really get ready to get your ass kicked.”
As the stage started, they seemed evenly matched, but it became evident pretty quickly that Rossi had logged in some serious hours playing video games in general. His fingers danced delicately over the controller. Before, Emily had been button-mashing with the best of them and had beaten, Spencer, JJ, Garcia, and Hotch,; she still hadn’t gone up against Morgan yet; and yet Rossi was here handily kicking her ass.
One by one her lives blew up off screen. “Dammit, Rossi! How often do you play this?”
“I bought the machine the day it came out and sat here with a bottle of scotch and played for about eight hours. I use it to decompress at the end of a bad day.”
Morgan piped up from the kitchen where he’d gone to make his own drink. “We have a lot of bad days.”
“Exactly,” Rossi replied, never once taking his eyes off the screen. “So I’ve played a lot, which is why I am winning.” Just as he finished his sentence, Emily lost her last life and Rossi triumphantly pumped his hands in the air, walking toward the bathroom without only one thought. “You all better step up your game because I’m going to play the champion.”
Rossi had without a doubt proven that he was not only a master profiler, but a master video gamer too. Again, Reid and Garcia went against each other in a match. Reid one the match, but then lost to JJ. JJ played Hotch and he won, and then he played Emily and she won. The semifinals consisted of Emily against Morgan. Then the champion would play Rossi for the ultimate winner.
“Emily, stop spamming the Pikachu power!” Morgan screamed. Garcia had been angry she sucked at video games, but she couldn’t stay mad hearing her big, tough chocolate thunder talking about “Pika power” as he continued to call it.
With a grin, she turned to the side. “You mean this? My lightning bolt?! Never!” Emily was the queen of button-mashing and as talented as Morgan was with King DeDeDe, he stood no chance against Emily. “Good, I get to redeem myself from before,” she said as Morgan grouchily handed the controller back over to Rossi.
Emily braced herself, ready for a battle to the death, while Rossi sunk lazily back into his chair and took another sip of scotch before the match started. “Five stock?” he asked.
“You even know that stock means lives,” Emily replied, astonished that the eldest member of their team was a fan of video games. “Yes, five stock. Bring it.”
Emily was getting better. She fucked Rossi over once fairly quickly, but then he killed her twice just as quickly. Again, she pushed him off the edge of the cliff. They each had three left. “Stop button-mashing!” Rossi yelled. “Put some skill into it for fuck’s sake!”
“Language, Rossi!”
“I’m Italian! This is our way, I just tamp it down at work!” Everyone was having a much better time watching than actually playing, especially seeing Rossi all riled up. “Have some skill! Have some pride!”
“Never! Fear my thunderbolt!” It was too much fun to spam to not spam the thunderbolt with Pikachu. Two lives a piece to go. The Emily only had one.
“It’s down to the wire!” Reid screamed, his arms still crossed over his chest as he pushed himself forward to see the screen a bit better. “Bets on who wins? I’ve got Rossi for 20 bucks!”
“Hey!” Emily screamed. “Traitor!”
“Sorry,” he laughed. ‘I’m going with the track record.”
“I’ve got Emily,” JJ said.
Garcia piped up. “Me too! Emily for the win!”
“Sorry Emily,” Morgan said. “I’ve got Rossi. Hotch?”
“I’m not getting in the middle of this,” he laughed, taking some side eye from Rossi. “Okay, maybe Rossi...sorry Emily.”
“Dammit! You’re all traitors!”
JJ and Garcia screamed simultaneously. “Hey!”
“Except you two!”
In the midst of her screaming, Emily lost her footing in the game and lost her last life. “Dammit! Fuck! Dammit!” She raged and threw the controller back towards Garcia and Reid. “He’s right!” She pointed at Reid. “This game is rigged!”
The Fact That They Specified Safety For Three Weeks Instead Of Three Evictions Feels Suspicious....
30 yr old marco ubaldo diaz is NOT “very ugly” this is rigged… RIGGED I SAY!