ive been struggling more as a system lately
ive been feeling more dissociated over nothing, to the point my mind feels completely blank, leaving me silent in conversations
i try to cope and talk to people in servers or in roblox but it doesnt feel right i dont feel real as im talking to them i feel everything about me is fake and i have to improv my life.
i love being a system, i do, but some days i despise it. i love how its helped me in coping, keeping me company and managing day to day life better than i could on my own but when i get bad days, its hard to remember the good of it all.
im trying to write more about our experiences and everything to better log it for ourselves and for therapy but even that gets hard as when i try to think of symptoms throughout the day, i cant recall unless id written it down immediately as i realized it
i forgot what the rest of this post would be smh