I know whoever sees this is probably thinking one of two things: 1. Why are you painting on a person? 2. Why are you posting a Halloween picture in July? Well the truth is I have gone many months without taking/posting pictures of myself at fun gatherings and events because I’ve always hated my body. Every picture I was in was a constant reminder of how much I don’t like what my body looks like, so it was easier for me to keep those moments in my memories so I wouldn’t have physical evidence of how much I disliked myself. Well recently I got a big eye opener. After months of talking to people I’m close to and seeking advice, I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with PCOS, a condition that affects my hormones and ability to regulate them, therefore causing a lot of the things I’m insecure about. While I had been preparing myself mentally for this news for a while (I don’t do anything without extensive amounts of research), I couldn’t stop worrying about all the awful things that surrounded the situation. While I knew things would get better, I was still angry at myself and my body for getting this way. I would look at other women in my life and get angry that I couldn’t keep weight off as easily and my skin wouldn’t clear up no matter how extensive and meticulous my skincare routine was, and now that I had an answer to why this was happening, I was frustrated and discouraged about the fact that there were things going on with my body that I couldn’t control on my own. But after I was done sulking I came to the realization that I have to take back control of my life and my health. I have a great family, a wonderful group of close friends nearby, and a boyfriend who shows complete emotional support and encouragement. With everyone’s help, I can take the steps necessary to improve my conditions but also to be patient with myself as I figure out the best ways to give my body what it needs without erasing myself from all the beautiful things going on in my life. #pcos #itstartstoday
