#itsybittle

[zimmbitty]

Shitty: There are no straight men. Only men who haven't met Jack.

[zimmbitty]

watching 'baby daddy' with @itsybittle

itsy: not gonna lie, this looks a lot like how I picture my future

me: what, surrounded by hockey players?

itsy: no, my mum living with me and stealing my baby

[zimmbitty]

(Ransom and Holster, sneaking around the Haus in ‘Hockey Shit’ mode) “next up, a tour of the famous Jack Zimmermann’s closet-”

“...oh”

“Holtzy, it’s worse than we thought”

“let’s... back away slowly...”

“we can’t share this with anyone”

[zimmbitty]

so me and @itsybittle were discussing this and our conversation inevitably made its way to check please, so here is what would happen with the smh boys

anyway chowder and nursey are messing around in the kitchen and joking about knighting each other, but they don’t have a sword (although I wouldn’t put it past them tbh) so they decide a knife is the closest substitute, but they need to make it longer for full effect - and then there’s some kind of princess diaries debate moment while they try to find an appropriate object - and because it’s the haus they end up taping the knife to a hockey stick because health and safety who? anyway dex comes in kind of irritated to see what all the noise is about just at the wrong moment and nursey being a clumsy mess as usual swings the hockey stick to knight chowder but misses and slices dex’s cheek instead - needless to say, dex is less than pleased, so when bitty comes back to the haus, arms laden with grocery shopping all ready to put on some beyonce and bake a nice pie, he arrives to find his kitchen descending into chaos - dex and nursey slapfighting and yelling while chowder is curled up in a ball crying and bitty just stands there, still holding the shopping, staring at the carnage before him in horror

[samwellcelly]

[anonymousrobinhoodqueer]

I have been lying on my trampoline for an hour reading check please headcannons and it is five o'clock now and like at least 80 degrees but I don't want to go in because I'll have to stop reading.

[eyeballlickinggecko]

Battle of the Blades: Game on

"Zimms?" A pause."How 'bout this? I'll do it if he does it."

Or: Battle of the Blades returns to CBC, some hockey players get a phone call, and Sandra has a good feeling.

It's 2029. Trudeau fixes the CBC and they magically get their budget back. By popular demand, (and to drum up enthusiasm for figure skating at the Olympic Games) Battle of the Blades is back on.

The moment she finishes her meeting at CBC headquarters, show creator, the legendary Sandra Bezic, immediately starts making calls. She expects it to be difficult. She expects to get a lot of no's. Anyone who has seen previous seasons of Battle of the Blades knows that figure skating is no joke. Few hockey players are willing to put themselves that far out of their comfort zone and be the laughing stock on live national television. No, not laughing stock. Her goal was to make them look good, not make them look like fools. She'll need to make that point clear. Fools or not, it still wasn't going to be easy to convince 8 hockey players to try figure skating with an audience watching.

The first few calls that she makes doesn't convince her otherwise. After every rejection, Kurt, who is sitting across from her, shakes his head and crosses off another name. More and more names are eliminated from the list until they get to Kent Parson. He's an ideal player for the show - charismatic and great skating skills. Hopefully it'll translate to good figure skating skills.

The phone picks up on the third ring. Kent sounds confused when Sandra introduces herself. He doesn't recognize her name. That's fine. He'll learn.

She gives Kent the usual spiel: think of the charities, think of the kids, try something outside of your comfort zone, it'll be fun. Kent stays quiet while she explains and asks thoughtful questions after. He remains hesitant throughout their conversation right up until Sandra mentions other hockey players she plans on contacting.

"Zimms?" A pause. "How 'bout this? I'll do it if he does it."

Sandra does a small celebratory dance in her seat. It's not a yes but it's the closest they've come to getting one all day. Really, it's as good as a yes. Sandra is 80% sure that Jack would join just for raising money for charities alone. The fact that his husband was a former figure skater and that Bad Bob would've been in the cast of season 1 if not for bad timing did not hurt. Kurt brightens up with a smile and puts a check mark beside Kent's name. She makes her farewells and quickly dials Jack's number.

Jack picks up after one ring. Unlike Kent, he agrees to join immediately after her talk with a "yes, I'll do it". He asks some questions regarding logistics and even manages to drop some of the awkwardness when the line of questioning turns to charities.

By the time they finish the call, Kurt is bouncing in his seat in excitement. Two big names will make convincing the rest of the players easier.

"Next on the list is Crosby," says Kurt. "Unless you want to call Skinner first? He'll probably be easier to convince."

Sandra starts dialling. She has a good feeling about season 5.

[desertpups]

perfection:

subspacerogers

blaakwidow

lardoduandefencesquad

daisyriidleyy

itsybittle

cloudcitybitch

ughhgghg

buckyforcap

randomchachacha