#jackieconfession

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #365.

Jan. 04, 2011 - I can't believe I'm finished. 365 days of confessions, random posts about me and my life and my mind...they're all done. It's over. I feel so accomplished and so proud of myself. For my last confession, I'm going to admit, I know that nobody has read them all. I'd be happy if someone read about a 100 of them. I didn't expect people to read them, in all honestly. I'm a Tumblr-nobody. It was more for myself. It's nice that I'll be able to retrace my steps all the way to one year before today. I DID IT! :)

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #364.

Jan. 03, 2012 - I'm nobody special. I get bored easily. I listen to sad songs when I'm sad. I smile uncontrollably when I'm happy. I can't live without my cellphone. I love making people's day. I forget to follow the rules. I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. I get in trouble. I fail tests. I procrastinate. I spend too much time looking at myself in the mirror. I always try to look my best. When I don't go to school, I'm in my PJs all day long. I watch too much TV and pay too much attention to the internet. I'm not gorgeous. I only look beautiful in the eye of the beholder. I'm smart, but not a genius. I'm quirky and easy to talk to. But, I'm complicated and sensitive. All my life, I've been wondering what other people think when they see me. I wish I could read their minds. I wish I could hear what they say when I'm not there. Even if I wouldn't do anything to change myself, I just have a curiosity. I just want to know if I'm good enough. If I'm good enough for my parents, my crushes, my classmates, society, the world. Am I? Will I ever be?

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #363.

Jan. 02, 2012 - For the next month or so, I'm going to still be writing "2011" on all my papers. It takes a little while to get used to it. We're in a new year. That's crazy.

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #362.

Jan. 01, 2012 - If I run away, I just want you to chase me. If I ignore you, it's because I want you to try harder. I want you to prove to me that I'm special to you.

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #361.

Dec. 31, 2011 - Recap of 2011: I lost a lot of my "friends." I found out which people are always going to be there for me. I wasted my time doodling little hearts on the names of boys I don't even speak to anymore. I was hit with a reality check. I met some amazing people. I lost my mind. I fell in love. I saw my cousin graduate. I went to Disney world for the first time since 2004. I felt like a kid again. I was happy. I started my senior year. I figured out it wasn't as great as people made it sound. I won Homecoming Princess. I had new-found "haters". I cried a lot more. I lied more. I smiled more. People lost my trust. They betrayed me. They hurt me. I found out just how much rumors hurt. God opened his arms for me even more. I gained more respect for my family. I treasure them more. I've grown up. I've matured. I'm ready to start off 2012. I'm ending this year on a bad note, unless I do something about it soon. I have six hours to make it an unforgettable ending and a breath-taking beginning.

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #360.

Dec. 30, 2011 - Something that really gets my blood boiling is when people say "I'm sorry" all the time, for things that aren't their fault. -- "Oh, I didn't get invited to the mall..." / "Oh, I'm sorry..." NO. You shouldn't be SORRY, you're NOT the one who didn't invite me. I'd understand if it's, like, "I'm sorry to hear that, but we can go some other time. Who needs them?" or something. It just makes me feel like they're throwing me a pity party I don't need.

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #359.

Dec. 29, 2011 - I always have so many New Years' Resolutions, but I never actually come through with them. This year, that's going to change. (That's what I say every year.) Instead, let me rephrase that, I WANT this year to be different.

[xbigcitydreamss-blog]

Day #358.

Dec. 28, 2011 - My favorite board game is CLUE. :]