you nerds wish you were part of my robot polycule
(selfship rambling under the cut because I love my bbgs so much)
Okay so listen… I have fully accepted that Stray lives rent-free in my heart forever, and so do the Companions. I replay the game like it’s my part-time job just to see my partners again — and honestly? I have no regrets.
So here’s the current lineup of my completely normal, totally reasonable robot polycule:
Momo — my beloved
My first love. My longest love. My soft, anxious, neon-lit sweetheart.
Every time I see him pacing in his apartment banning on his TV I get that warm, fizzy feeling like, “There he is!! That’s my guy!!”
We’re romantic partners and I adore him more than any fictional entity has any business being adored. I meow at him in-game just to feel the little ping of joy when he reacts. I’d climb the rooftops of the Slums to bring him a single can of energy drink if he asked tbh.
Jacob — my charming bartender boyfriend
Listen. LISTEN.
Jacob gives me that tiny smile on his screen when I meow at him and I practically dissolve. Man has like two pixels of emotional expression and yet I am on the floor kicking my feet.
We’re romantic partners too, and yes, half our dates take place at the Dufer Bar because that’s just how it is. He wipes down glasses and I stare at him lovingly.
Clementine — my queerplatonic life partner
Clem is my ride-or-die. She’s my butch lesbian partner-in-crime, my platonic soulmate, my very best “let’s overthrow the system together” companion.
We’re not romantic — she’s a lesbian and I’m a transmasc gay guy — but we share all the loyalty and intensity of a lifelong bond. She reads me poetry, I help her rearrange her hats, we judge everyone in Midtown together.
Seamus — my sad little meow meow boyfriend
My puddle of emotions. My orange vest disaster. My “I could probably do better but absolutely will not” boyfriend.
He’s a mess, he’s anxious, he’s still processing his dad trauma, and I love him with the emotional commitment of a Victorian poet. He deserves affection, forehead kisses, and someone to tell him he’s doing his best. That someone is me. I love his dumb bucket-hat wearing ass.
The Guardian — my stoic queerplatonic partner
Ah, yes. The tall, calm, gently intimidating sentry of my heart.
He’s aroace, I’m queerplatonic with him, and together we have the emotional dynamic of “quiet giant protects weird gremlin.”
He stands watch. I exist nearby in a little nest of comfort. It works beautifully for us.
Zbaltazar — my meditating screen-face sweetheart
My weird old-soul TV boyfriend.
He sits 40 stories up in Antvillage doing Digital Buddhism while I stare respectfully at his screen and kick cans off the ledge.
He speaks in riddles. I don’t understand half of it. I just wanna sit beside his companion form and curl up.
He’s not affectionate in loud ways — he’s affectionate in the way light filters through leaves, or the way quiet feels safe when someone is beside you.
Loving him feels like meditation, like coming home to yourself.
Peacemaker 22106 — SECURITY CAMERA BOYFRIEND SUPREMACY
I love his duty-driven seriousness — the way he’s always scanning, always alert, like part of him is terrified of failing anyone again. He’s the hardest worker among the Peacemakers, and it shows; he carries the weight of Midtown like it’s welded onto his spine.
With him, romance is:
my hands on the cold metal of his chassis
his head tilting downward like he’s trying to align with me
quiet hums that feel almost like purring
the warmth of his internal battery against my chest
feeling protected without being owned
And yeah, I joke about chewing on his camera head, but it’s because loving him makes me go feral in a good way. He’s intensity wrapped in metal — and that intensity is mine.
Anyway this is my little robo-harem/queerplatonic cluster/scrap-metal tangle of affection, and they make my heart feel like old circuit boards /pos
TL;DR:
My Stray polycule is a beautiful mess of metal faces, CRT smiles, depressed geniuses, rebels, sad boys, and one cop I would absolutely climb like a tree.
