#jade pike

[cottagehillsunset]

Ruby Pike ranting about her date during a Barbeque at the Pikes while Illya and Shane are visiting. "He ate, like, an entire plate of pasta with tuna and then just expected me to kiss him!", she scoffs. "Didn't even use chewing gum or a mint. Why would I want to kiss him with his tuna breath?"

Shane and Ilya just quickly looking at each other because. Well. Depending on the person the tuna breath really isn't what you're focusing on.

"Who even orders a dish with tuna on a date?", Jade asks shaking her head.

"But tuna is nice", Arthur says. "The tuna melts Uncle Ilya makes are always really good."

Jade rolls her eyes at her brother. Boys.

"Yeah, we like them too, Art. But obviously he wouldn't cook those for a first date", she says. "If someone made me a tuna melt on a date I'd run out of that room so fast. Right, Uncle Shane?"

Ilya chokes on his wine. Shane looks as if someone just punched him in the gut. Jade is happy that her Uncles are appropriately horrified at the thought of a tuna melt as a date meal.

Arthur is still trying to understand what's so bad about a tuna melt.

[punksalmons]

world's most reliable babysitters

[cinderella323]

Do you think when the pike kids are older they realize they knew about Shane and Ilya when they probably

Like Ruby and Jade are in high school and one of their classmates does a presentation on th3 hockey legends as like a fun assignment and ruby and jade are just sitting there watching some kid talk about their uncles and just realize

They were children, children who knew probably the biggest NHL secret and scandal

And as they watch this classmate go on and on they think back to the day they first called Ilya Uncle because he always came with Uncle Shane so that must mean he was a fellow Uncle.

And they realize slowly that Ilya and Shane didn't always hide from them and even though they know that they still had to to some degree they realize how lucky they are they got to watch them be that way.

And as their classmates finishes they end with a final closing note.

"And if anyone wants a part two talking about How Hayden Pike, a fellow player, outed them on fan mail as a secret gay relationship let me know!"

They forgot their dad did that for a moment.

[quillquiver]

Thinking of Hollanov blanket forts with the Pike kids. The twins and Amber desperately beg Uncle Lily for a fort, which Ilya absolutely wants to accommodate, if only he had any idea what the fuck they were talking about. So they go get Uncle Shane, who is elbow deep in a complicated Lego structure with Arthur. At the mention of a fort, Arthur immediately abandons their project.

So they get building.

Ilya is still a little unclear as to the point of it all—it’s not like he ever built forts as a child—until they’ve put together a structure that spans most of the den, and Shane is ushering him inside.

It’s… cozy.

There are pillows and stuffed animals everywhere, the ceiling draped with fairy lights that pain their little cave with a soft glow. Ilya takes Shane’s offered hand as he leads him through the fort, settling in the large middle area and pulling Ilya down with him. Off to the side, Ruby and Jade attempt to build a “throne room”, while Arthur pulls in his iPad and gets settled beside them. When Amber reappears, she makes a beeline for her uncles, wedging herself firmly between them.

Ilya watches her get settled before turning to Shane, only to find him already looking back. “Nice?” Shane asks quietly. There’s a lump in Ilya’s throat and he nods, not trusting himself to speak. Really nice. Really, stupidly nice.

They sit in the moment for a bit, listening to the tap of Arthur’s small fingers and the twins arguing, before Ilya looks up at the ceiling and purses his lips. “Do you know what would make this even better?” He asks.

The girls fall silent.

“What?” Shane asks.

“Cookies.”

And that’s what Hayden and Jackie come home to: a dark house with a glowing fort in the den, a tray full of cookie crumbs and empty glasses of milk sitting just outside the entrance. And inside, a sleeping puppy pile of their children and their two uncles.

[my-castles-crumbling]

captivate - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 357 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

"Uncle Shane, Uncle Shane!"

Shane, who had been busy happily lining up toy trains with Arthur in rainbow order as they talked about their passenger capacity, nearly jumped at the happy voices of Ruby and Jade, both girls stumbling in his direction as they stampeded into the living room. Smiling, he greeted the twins. "What's up?"

"We made Uncle Ilya look pretty!"

"Like a princess!"

He couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Yeah? Okay, I have to see this. Show me."

Allowing the girls to lead him into their room, he tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see.

But nothing in his imagination could have lived up to the reality.

Ilya's lips were smeared messily with a bright pink lipstick, glitter clinging messily to his skin. His cheeks were overly-rouged with blush that went all the way down to his jawline and pink-and-blue eyeshadow was painted unevenly over his lids. It seemed like the girls had tried to apply eyeliner only to end up scribbling by Ilya's hairline, which made the whole thing look even more hilarious. His look was finished off with clip-on earrings that looked like they could've belonged to Shane's grandmother who was long deceased.

Shane grinned so widely it hurt. "You look captivating," he deadpanned, smirking at his husband. “Why don’t you do this more often?”

Ilya just rolled his eyes, swatting an uncaring, manicured hand at him. "You just do not understand modern beauty, Hollander. This is fashion now," he retorted with what seemed to be an attempt at a huff.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Shane teased, already taking out his phone. "Just--" and he snapped a picture, sending it to Svetlana and Rose.

"Hollander, you asshole!" Ilya shouted, grabbing for Shane's phone.

But it was too late. "Swear jar, swear jar!" all of the kids began singing, pointing at Ilya while Shane laughed maniacally, the pictures already marked 'delivered’ in the groupchat.

Grumbling, Ilya fished out a dollar from his pocket.

"You need to be a better influence, Rozanov," Shane said morosely, insides wriggling with glee.

'Asshole,' Ilya mouthed when none of the kids were looking.

[military-newsboys]

Jade: Ewww, Uncle Shane, you drink Black coffee, gross

Hayden: He got it from me; you'll understand when you get older.

Amber: Uncle Ilya drinks hot chocolate

Shane, sipping his coffee: Ilya is weak

Ilya, from the other side of the kitchen: AND HAPPY

[snowsmoked]

One time when Ilya and Shane visit the Pikes for dinner, the twins are begging for just one more bedtime story. Jackie and Hayden, who have already read three each, tell them no. Cue favourite uncle Ilya to the rescue.

He makes them promise that if he reads one with the voices, they'll go to sleep. They readily agree.

When he gets them to pick out a book, they hand him one he had never heard of before, but looks short enough for a good bedtime story.

The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein.

Needless to say, when he finishes the story, a sleepy Ruby asks, "why're you crying, Uncle Ilya?"

"I am just sad for the tree," Ilya said quietly, wiping at his eyes and tucking her snuggly into bed. Her sister had fallen asleep halfway through the book.

"But the tree was happy," Ruby said, blinking heavily, staving off sleep for just a few more moments. "In the end of the story, it said. The tree was happy."

"Yes," Ilya agreed as she slipped into sleep. He thought about everything his brother and his father and Russia took. He thought about what was left. "The tree was happy."

[emmikay]

Jade Pike: Can we have an extra treat?

Ilya Rozanov: What did your parents say?

Arthur Pike: They said no.

Ilya Rozanov: So why are you asking me?

Ruby Pike: Because they’re not the boss of you.

Ilya Rozanov: (internally) It’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap.