#ruby pike

[punksalmons]

world's most reliable babysitters

[persimmony-snicket]

myshane was a really difficult baby and toddler—never took to formula, fussy sleeper, really restricted food preferences, always stripping naked, biting, screaming at strange hours, struggled to maintain friendships, no imagination play—and so hockey was A Relief™️ for yuna and david. here was something their kid could do, and do well, and something he enjoyed. they could build whole routines around this. and when it became clear that he was beyond “doing hockey well,” that he was actually something of a prodigy ? even fucking better. bc they’re afraid the SECOND hockey goes away they’ll be back to backsliding, missing milestones, awful behavior.

fast forward twenty yrs and ruby pike comes along. she’s biting and screaming and tearing at her clothes and hair. she’s running into walls, throwing pillows, slamming her hands and feet on anything that will make noise. and shane can hardly look at her bc he’s reminded of how ashamed his parents were of him, ashamed to see himself from the outside. but he loves this kid. he loves her and he wants what’s best for her. so he makes it his business to take her out on the ice. she’s not a great shot but on a whim he sticks her in the net and uhhh. well. shane knows a bit about the pwhl but damn it looks like he’s about to learn a lot more.

[cinderella323]

Do you think when the pike kids are older they realize they knew about Shane and Ilya when they probably

Like Ruby and Jade are in high school and one of their classmates does a presentation on th3 hockey legends as like a fun assignment and ruby and jade are just sitting there watching some kid talk about their uncles and just realize

They were children, children who knew probably the biggest NHL secret and scandal

And as they watch this classmate go on and on they think back to the day they first called Ilya Uncle because he always came with Uncle Shane so that must mean he was a fellow Uncle.

And they realize slowly that Ilya and Shane didn't always hide from them and even though they know that they still had to to some degree they realize how lucky they are they got to watch them be that way.

And as their classmates finishes they end with a final closing note.

"And if anyone wants a part two talking about How Hayden Pike, a fellow player, outed them on fan mail as a secret gay relationship let me know!"

They forgot their dad did that for a moment.

[quillquiver]

Thinking of Hollanov blanket forts with the Pike kids. The twins and Amber desperately beg Uncle Lily for a fort, which Ilya absolutely wants to accommodate, if only he had any idea what the fuck they were talking about. So they go get Uncle Shane, who is elbow deep in a complicated Lego structure with Arthur. At the mention of a fort, Arthur immediately abandons their project.

So they get building.

Ilya is still a little unclear as to the point of it all—it’s not like he ever built forts as a child—until they’ve put together a structure that spans most of the den, and Shane is ushering him inside.

It’s… cozy.

There are pillows and stuffed animals everywhere, the ceiling draped with fairy lights that pain their little cave with a soft glow. Ilya takes Shane’s offered hand as he leads him through the fort, settling in the large middle area and pulling Ilya down with him. Off to the side, Ruby and Jade attempt to build a “throne room”, while Arthur pulls in his iPad and gets settled beside them. When Amber reappears, she makes a beeline for her uncles, wedging herself firmly between them.

Ilya watches her get settled before turning to Shane, only to find him already looking back. “Nice?” Shane asks quietly. There’s a lump in Ilya’s throat and he nods, not trusting himself to speak. Really nice. Really, stupidly nice.

They sit in the moment for a bit, listening to the tap of Arthur’s small fingers and the twins arguing, before Ilya looks up at the ceiling and purses his lips. “Do you know what would make this even better?” He asks.

The girls fall silent.

“What?” Shane asks.

“Cookies.”

And that’s what Hayden and Jackie come home to: a dark house with a glowing fort in the den, a tray full of cookie crumbs and empty glasses of milk sitting just outside the entrance. And inside, a sleeping puppy pile of their children and their two uncles.

[my-castles-crumbling]

captivate - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 357 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

"Uncle Shane, Uncle Shane!"

Shane, who had been busy happily lining up toy trains with Arthur in rainbow order as they talked about their passenger capacity, nearly jumped at the happy voices of Ruby and Jade, both girls stumbling in his direction as they stampeded into the living room. Smiling, he greeted the twins. "What's up?"

"We made Uncle Ilya look pretty!"

"Like a princess!"

He couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Yeah? Okay, I have to see this. Show me."

Allowing the girls to lead him into their room, he tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see.

But nothing in his imagination could have lived up to the reality.

Ilya's lips were smeared messily with a bright pink lipstick, glitter clinging messily to his skin. His cheeks were overly-rouged with blush that went all the way down to his jawline and pink-and-blue eyeshadow was painted unevenly over his lids. It seemed like the girls had tried to apply eyeliner only to end up scribbling by Ilya's hairline, which made the whole thing look even more hilarious. His look was finished off with clip-on earrings that looked like they could've belonged to Shane's grandmother who was long deceased.

Shane grinned so widely it hurt. "You look captivating," he deadpanned, smirking at his husband. “Why don’t you do this more often?”

Ilya just rolled his eyes, swatting an uncaring, manicured hand at him. "You just do not understand modern beauty, Hollander. This is fashion now," he retorted with what seemed to be an attempt at a huff.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Shane teased, already taking out his phone. "Just--" and he snapped a picture, sending it to Svetlana and Rose.

"Hollander, you asshole!" Ilya shouted, grabbing for Shane's phone.

But it was too late. "Swear jar, swear jar!" all of the kids began singing, pointing at Ilya while Shane laughed maniacally, the pictures already marked 'delivered’ in the groupchat.

Grumbling, Ilya fished out a dollar from his pocket.

"You need to be a better influence, Rozanov," Shane said morosely, insides wriggling with glee.

'Asshole,' Ilya mouthed when none of the kids were looking.

[miscellaneousbullshit]

One day Ruby Pike is going to be the most notorious enforcer in PWHL history and when people ask who gave coined her nickname- the beast- she just grins angelically and says ‘my dad’ and goes and beats the shit out of someone on the ice.

Hayden is proud. Ilya is prouder. Shane is quietly impressed. Jackie needs ‘the beast’ to stop forgetting their weekly FaceTime call and to please bring dessert to thanksgiving dinner.

[oknotgood]

I really love that we as a fandom have developed these universally accepted headcanons that we have all incorporated into our collective consciousness.

An incomplete list:

Cliff Marleau, Svetlana, Hayden and Jackie are all bi, and Rose and Luca are also queer

Wyatt, Lisa, Troy, Harris and Coach Wiebe are NOT white

Ilya calls Svetlana "Sveta" and she calls him "Ilyusha"

"Boston Lily" is added to the WAGs group chat and he's one of the girls

Kip, Kyle, Fabian, Harris, Shane and Ilya have a HABs group chat

Jackie and Ilya have a special bond

Ilya and Ruby have a special bond

Ilya reconnects with his niece after she turns 18

Ilya said f** all the fucking time, like it was nothing

Cliff says wildly inappropriate and "unwoke" things after he finds out but he's genuinely supportive and Hayden tries so hard to be respectful but is way weirder about it than Cliff is

Hayden and Cliff manage to figure it out between the two of them while drinking one night and either get so drunk they completely forget that they figured it out at all or they simply agree to repress the knowledge and live in denial and never speak of it again

Jackie knew waaaayyy before Hayden. She may have been the second person to figure it out, after Svetlana

After Shane and Ilya go public, Hayden and Cliff bond over their shared experiences

Ilya is a chaos gremlin on twitter

When Shane and Ilya go public, Ilya will find a way to incorporate the words "MY MAN SHANE HOLLANDER" into every single conversation ever

Shane would get an abortion

Shane Hollander doesn't fight because if he did he'd kill a mf

And Ilya would think that's ^ the hottest thing he's ever seen

Ilya and Shane have a Thing for giving each other bruises and pressing on them during sex

They want to taste each other's blood

When they're allowed to mark each other up, they'll both be covered in bite marks and scratches

Shane is into free use and cockwarming (at the bare minimum)

Ilya calls Shane "solnyshko"

Shane starts calling Ilya "Ilyusha"

Ilya starts taking SSRIs and they affect his libido and he has a whole identity crisis about it

Ilya enjoys fucking cis women, cis men, trans women, trans men, nonbinary people and intersex people

No matter someone's gender or genitals, Ilya is giving head like he needs it to breath

Please feel free to add on!

[emmikay]

Hayden Pike: Why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Ilya Rozanov: (whispering) Why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Ruby Pike: (whispering) Because I have little hands.

Ilya Rozanov: Because she has little hands.