__HC: Club Lock-In__
Everyone knows that the most normal things you can get are in Zone 2. You can surf, actually let your hair down and enjoy the ocean breeze.. and by night, you can participate in the wildest parties in all of the Zones. Club Lock-In, by nature, is a fucking accident waiting to happen. Entrance is 50 carbons, but that's because once it reaches 10 P.M, entrance is cut off, and those inside can't leave until 6 A.M. 8 hours of unlimited booze, drugs, and even yes, food, await you. The songs mostly consist of old rock and roll, and the feeling of entering the smoke filled nightclub will immediately make you feel nostalgic for a time you never even lived in. There are several songs that are GARUNTEED to play every night, and there are several hazards to be aware of going into Lock-In.
The V-Rule:
If it is your first time there, you must be brought by someone who has already been there, and that person will eagerly scream "HE/SHE/THEY'RE A VIRGIN" which ends up with you getting a large v written in red lip stick on your forehead. This identifies you as a "virgin" to the Lock-In scene. This means you will be getting a lot of attention from the locals. Especially the drag queens, and Lock-In virgins must perform a right of passage that's usually not to hard, but embarassing. Making animal sex noises such as monkeys and polar bears, drinking from a beer bottle like you're sucking a dick (sometimes the bottle will be coming out of Jaggerbomb's pants, just to fuck with the virgins who act all scared) and of course, the time tested favorite of eating food from a complete strangers crotch. Clothed, of course.
Touch Me:
When you enter Club Lock-In, don't expect to be exclusive, even if you're there with your partner. You WILL get grinded on, groped, even kissed by complete strangers. Most people are good most of the time, but the real party starts when "Touch Me" by the doors starts. As soon as you hear they first "Hey!" everyone gets on the dance floor, and just up and down. When Jim sings "COME ON COME ON COME ON NOW TOUCH MY BABY" you're expected to sink low to the floor in a sexual way, everyone starts griding on each other, playing with each others hair, and for three minutes, the whole club screams along the lyrics as they grind, twerk, and grab. If you get dragged to your knees, just go with it, sex doesn't actually happen, but blowjob innuendos are a common dance during these 3 minutes. Anyone who isn't down will get kicked out by Jaggerbomb, the host.
The Jaggerbomb Hour:
During this hour, things get crazy. Naked waiters, waitresses and waitresers come out carrying plates of marijuana, LSD, coke, and pills basically anything but needles. If you're caught not taking something by Jaggerbomb, expect to be forced to chain-smoke from a waterbong. A whoooole toke of Iridescent Dream. You won't be able to stand for the rest of the night, probably not for the rest of the week. During the Jaggerbomb hour, Jaggerbomb can call up anyone on stage he likes, choose to put a collar and leash on them, and drag them around for an hour and essentially party as hard as he can with them. If you're picked, it's quite the honor, and you get to go to the VIP room, where the HEAVY booze is. Just be prepared to drink beer like you're sucking dick. Again.
The Drag Queens:
Yes, many of the patrons are drag queens, and often are the ones to bring around new virgins. Especially around Christmas, when "Santa Clause" comes and gives all the good boys and girls piercings and tattoos for free. Entrance to the Christmas Party costs upward of 100, 150 if you bother Jaggerbomb. Drag Queens are expected to show their virgins a good time, and they even have their own song that comes on every night. The Time Warp, from Rocky Horror Picture Show, is a song for Drag Queens and Virgins only, and by the end of the night, the pelvic thrust will indeed, drive you insane. You will have the dance FULLY memorized by the morning, and if you don't, lessons with Jaggerbomb are always an option. Because he won't let you leave if he saw you not knowing it last night. That's why they play it twice, to make sure EVERYONE knows it.
Sports Song & Don't Stop Me Now:
This is the last song before everyone is released in the morning, Sports Song, a parody song by Weird Al off the album mandatory fun is very symbolic of the pre-days, of team mantras and football, but the Joys have adopted it to be a rally call to Joys to believe in themselves, and go out and fight hard despite their raging hangovers. Don't Stop Me Now is the song played when everyone first enters, to get them all hyped up, and if you don't know the words, don't be surprised when Jaggerbomb calls you up onstage and forces you to wear a fake mustache just like Freddie Mercury for the rest of the night.
We Didn't Start The Fire:
This song is probably one of the contributing features as to why the club gives off heavy nostalgia. The whole song is about the history of the world, and how every generation tries to fight the chaos, fight the power, and still not be blamed for starting all the chaos. This is one of those songs you're expected to memorize by the end of the night or you won't be leaving in the morning. It's a history lesson and a prideful remembrance all in one. Additionally, Jaggerbomb's favorite, and when the lyric "Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, raging sex" (they insist it's raging sex and not Bernie Goetz. No one wants to remember a racist.) comes on, he chucks out carbons, blankets, red AIDS ribons, and indeed, crack pipes and condoms into the audience.
Ultimately, Club Lock-In is a wild party, and if you're brought there, you can expect a night that's more insane than Show Pony's silver parties. While expensive, you can get in for free, or a discount.. if you know Jaggerbomb well, or how to press his buttons. Those he chooses to put on a leash every night, he usually remembers, and they get free entrance for them and their virgins for life. Sort of makes you wonder what really goes down in the VIP room. Fun Ghoul would know, as he was brought there as a virgin with a certain drag queen who has a penchant for disco and shall go unnamed. He ended up getting completely wild, and grinding on Jaggerbomb himself during Touch Me. Needless to say, he got the privilege of being one of the 3 collared that night. But whenever anyone brings up his trip to the back room, he seems to get oddly defensive, all anyone is sure of is he came out in the morning with a lip piercing and a nose ring. Show Pony would also know, he's been one of Jaggerbomb's favorites over the years, and he would proudly tell that he's sucked Jaggerbomb's dick on LSD more than a dozen times. He'll even tell you he's spotted Doctor Death Defying there a few times, but only with Cherri and Tommy. Whenever he starts to bring up Touch Me, Doc threatens to shoot him in the mouth. If you do venture out to Wolfblood Beach and get the honor of going to this club, be ready to forget your name and have the catchiest songs of all the decades you weren't alive for stuck in your head. And don't be too alarmed if you wake up with a collar on your neck and a condom stuck to your boots. Or your boots stolen. It's all part of Lock-In life.
