So I was watching a thing about Jake Doolittle (sad white boy grifter on YouTube) and he suddenly reminded me of James Somerton (sad white boy grifter on YouTube) and then I thought about the entire genre of sad white boy grifters on YouTube. You know the ones. They're kind of pasty and a bit chubby in the cheeks and slightly posh and think of themselves as intellectual. They wear glasses and a turtleneck and spend most of their time either sneering or preaching, but then when they get caught in a grift they go all soft and floppy and start talking in a hushed voice about how bad a headspace they're in and how they've had lots of surgeries and they lost their best friend and people are unsubscribing so they won't be able to make rent and they're very sorry about all these things they did that were in fact really not a big deal and everyone caring about what they did is actually really hard on them.
And suddenly I was presented with the vision of Eustace from the Chronicles of Narnia, and I realised how crucial it was that he had to be turned into a dragon and thereby change his entire outlook on life, because I'm pretty sure that if he had been allowed to grow up the way he was he would have become a sad white boy grifter. Possibly not on YouTube, because he was born too early for that, but honestly who knows because he might have fallen through the wrong magic door and be preaching and sneering and softly self-pitying on YouTube to this very day. And I commented about this, but nobody on YouTube will understand my train of thought on this, so I thought I'd better bring it to Tumblr.
I will henceforth think of this entire genre of YouTuber as pre-dragon Eustaces. May Aslan send the dragons soon.
