#jakeoutthehumans

[wanderingwhiimsy-blog]

Disasterrific || Jake & Popuri

@jake-out-the-humans

Lately, it was one thing after another. Lost records, mis-calculations in change, the mess in the storeroom. It could all be traced back to one person: Popuri. Truthfully, she felt like crying. Just lock herself in the same storeroom she’d knocked over a shelf in and bawl her eyes out. 

Instead, Popuri had been regulated to a more secluded section of the Leuda Guild to focus on a menial task: sorting mail. Popuri exhaled softly and continued her monotonous task, not realizing she had put a few pieces of mail in the wrong sorted piles. 

Someone approached her desk and Popuri looked up. Even her curls seemed a little more limp than usual. “Oh, Jake.” He was always so grumpy she found it hard to believe he wanted anything from her but, “Is... there something you need?” Was there more for her to sort? Or was he firing her?

[obsidiansashimi]

just add mistletoe

◤ Somehow, he’s pretty sure that this isn’t what spreading holiday cheer is all about. But it still gives him joy, and maybe it will give his giftees a tiny bit of joy. One might think he’s a fucking weirdo, but if he leaves no identifying label on his gift, how can he be accused? ◢

◤ In their mailbox, Jake and Margaret will find not one, but two cups of macaroni, the perfect dinner. They both have bright red bows on them, and there’s a note tucked in there, as well: ◢

Just add mistletoe, and you two have a fantastic date right here. Happy holidays.

◤ The guise of anonymity makes this a hell of a lot easier, and he’s grinning on the way back to his house. ◢

@jake-out-the-humans && @endlessmadrigal

[xwingsofvalor-blog]

------------------------------------------------------ ⛩ Shrine Exploration ⛩ Frey, Jake, Chase & Ash ------------------------------------------------------ Frey: It felt odd exploring Leuda Mines without worry of getting attacked by monsters. The Mining Company did solid work on keeping them s...

@jake-out-the-humans @ashonthemountain @marmaladeprince

In which their mission finally comes to an end.

[animalafficionado-blog]

Purchases another 50% discounted Mythical Hoe from @jake-out-the-humans for @kanaoftheisles 

[ -1x 50% coupon ]  [ -16,000G ] 

Previous Balance: 21,260G New Balance: 5,260G

Gabriel was an incredibly good friend for this deed. Initially, he was just going to be hired to make a ring for the Arcadian rancher. However, he lacked the necessary ores and ingredients for the dating ring he desired to have. He had a Topaz to spare, but unfortunately, the rest had to come from Kana, who of course, does not mine. He had one for himself, but that was Gabriel’s hoe. No sharing shall be done. So, here he was, buying another discounted mythical hoe from Jake.

There’s nothing wrong with buying two hoes.

[terrible-terrable-blog]

Short tempered

@jake-out-the-humans

This twerp... Wasn’t he a regular or something?

Despite being the owner of the place for such a short time, it was no surprise tales about the regulars to this place would reach his ears. From what he had heard from the rumors, this half-breed was a decent fighter who seemed to come here a little more than one should normally. Was he battle obsessed? Maybe, wouldn’t be the hardest thing to believe.

This brat was a half-breed, and wretched human blood flowed through their veins.

The blood to deceive, the blood to control, and the blood that started fights and wars.

Shaking his head, the taller male slowly strides over before coming to a stop right in front of smaller male. Eyes narrowed for a moment before taking a stoic expression, having now looked the other over completely now. He thought his words over carefully before speaking.

“So... Yer the squirt who comes ‘ere a lot? Jake or somethin’ right? Kinda was expectin’ someone more human but guess this makes somewhat sense...”

Yeah let’s just be racist right off the bat.

[obsidiansashimi]

neighborly | jake + sebastian

◤ Honestly, it’s a miracle Sebastian hasn’t had more run-ins with his neighbors. There aren’t many on his street, why the hell hasn’t he like, shared cookies or something. Isn’t that what neighbors do--? ◢

◤ Ugh, fuck that. The day Sebastian actually bakes something is the day he lets himself walk right off the face of the planet. Besides, it’s not too false to say he’s been avoiding at least one of the people he has the pleasure of living by. Wow, to think he still feels tension and painfully awkward vibes when thinking about the guy he had accidentally kicked leaves on. ◢

◤ Hell, that was months ago. Maybe that’s why he has a goal today: to grow up and stop being petty. ◢

◤ But, really, how petty is he being? That guy-- Jake’s the vague name he knows-- was just as in the wrong as he was, getting pissed over an honest accident... Buuut Seb had been his rude-ass self and made even his apology sound like a double-edged sword. It’s his specialty, pissing people off. ◢

◤ Well... it used to be. He hasn’t really done that for months, either, too. He’s got better things to worry about. ◢

◤ Yeah, yeah, he’s not going to talk himself out of a friendly confrontation. It’s not like grudges can last forever, right? And he has no grudge at all, anyways-- more of a fear of someone else’s. Who knows? Maybe there isn’t a grudge at all, maybe he’s overinflating this and letting himself get all worked up over nothing. That works, that’s happened before. ◢

◤ Knock knock on the guy’s door, and Seb stands there with his hands in his big oversized pocket, ignoring the urge to blip out of existence. He can do that whenever. ◢

@jake-out-the-humans

[animalafficionado-blog]

Wolf Pack

@jake-out-the-humans

Gabriel was full of life and excitement– something very rare and odd for the reserved man. Not too long ago he bravely gave a go at one of his curiosities he’d been hesitant to do. Due to the lack of budget, he had to pull a string or two to get some extra funds. While gambling is something he is leaning against, he is now all too happy it was worth it: finally, he tried monster taming.

Normally you’d go for a weaker sort. Gabriel was drawn to the idea of finding a monster more similar to the animals he was used to caring for. Goblins and treasure boxes did not fit that description, however, the ones he had an eye on– the ever elegant silver wolf– was of a high class. He took the risk and prayed to the Goddess that his affinity for animals would translate itself for beasts and monsters. And praise be the Goddess, his prayer was answered.

With an overly eager look on his face, the brunette sought the company of someone he can share this wondrous happening with as soon as time allowed it. There was little to no regard whether the man was at work or not, or if he wanted to even converse, Gabriel simply had to barge in (carefully closing the door behind him) and say, “Hear me out.” He tried to conceal his delight, smile reserved, although his eyes betrayed him as they shined with glee. “I’m officially a dad now.”

[bespectaclednerd]

One Dad to Another || Jake & Russell

@jake-out-the-humans​;

“If you’re looking for something on parenting, there’s a much better section this way.” Russell didn’t mean to intrude upon the man’s time, but he had been staring rather intently at the shelves and Russell couldn’t help but say something. He knew that look, it was one he had often when Cecilia was small. 

Oh, how time flew. He exchanged letters and sent care packages to his daughter, but it was rare that he got to see her.

“Are you searching for a book on parenting for yourself?”