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Melissa Benoist | Making of Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (Part 3) (Screen Captures)

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Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

Released as a special event on October 15th and 17th, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot is aimed at the series fans. I'm at a disadvantage, only have seen one of the films in the "View Askewniverse" but even so, I can't imagine any state where I would've enjoyed this painfully unfunny, agonizingly self-referential comedy with nothing to say. It’ll be less painful to watch at home because this special presentation was one of the weirdest, most awkward cinematic experiences I’ve ever had.

Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) are busted when the police deduce their “Cock Smoker” chicken sandwich restaurant is a front for their marijuana grow-op. The boys escape prison sentences thanks to a court-appointed lawyer (Justin Long) only to realize they've been tricked out of their names and affiliated “Bluntman and Chronic” comic book properties by Saban Films. Determined to stop the production of the movie reboot, the pot-smoking duo head to Hollywood, along the way joining up with the daughter Jay never knew he had, Millennium (Harley Quinn Smith), and her best friend Soapy (Treshelle Edmond).

After an interminable intro in which Smith and Mewes assure us we're in for a good time as the film pokes fun at Hollywood's practice of rehashing past properties by making them younger, more diverse and gender-swapped, we finally get to the movie. It’s immediately obvious this adventure will be about as funny as dunking your head into an open sewer. The jokes are juvenile. Not only that, they’re obvious. A Silence of the Lambs reference? “welcome” spelled “welcum”? Shoot me now. I know Smith’s defenders will tell you many of these gags are throwbacks to his earlier films. Believe me, I know. This entire film is composed of references. It doesn’t matter if a cameo breaks up the flow of the story. It doesn't matter if it makes sense. If there's a way to crowbar Rosario Dawson, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jason Biggs, James Van Der Week, Chris Hemsworth, Keith Coogan or anyone else who owes Smith a favor, they'll be here. At best, these serve as welcome reprieves from the unfunny trek we've embarked upon - which includes Jay fantasizing about having sex in a fast-food restaurant (you might die of shame as Jason Mewes vigorously humps the air), a KKK rally, a brainless parody of Uber called “Ride Me Now”, and other visual means of torture.

Over and over, the actors turn towards the screen and wink at you (sometimes literally), making it clear that yes, they did indeed just tell a joke, and that now, it’s time to laugh. Acknowledging that Jersey Girl was lousy, that your filmography hasn’t been fresh since 1999 is no substitute for making a good movie. Parading actors we recognize in roles we’re nostalgic for doesn’t poke fun at big studio’s lack of innovation, it’s being as unscrupulous as they are. Maybe that’s the joke. I recognize Marie-Jane enthusiast Millie is a “new” version of Jay, and that deaf Soapy is a “new” version of Silent Bob… but so what? We learn nothing about how you should react when something you loved years ago is exhumed for greed's sake. All this"Reboot" does is make a couple of not-so-sly observations then proceed with a plot that gets significantly worse during the last few minutes.

My jaw dropped when the man at the concession told me this film started at 7:00 and wouldn’t end until 9:51. 3 hours?! Even considering the trailers preceding it, that couldn’t be right. This is where this review becomes further biased. Accompanying the film's special Fathom Events showing - is an hour’s worth of bonuses after the credits (themselves filled with extra scenes and snippets). First, you get the second-worst interview I’ve ever seen. Smith asks Rosario Dawson and Shannon Elizabeth what they’ve been up to. It’s a whole lotta nothing that has zero to do with the movie. It’s followed by THE WORST interview I’ve ever seen: Jason Mewes ambushing a bunch of no-name crewmembers and asking them inane questions. The sound is bad, no one has anything to say, everybody is clearly uncomfortable and unprepared, you leave having gained nothing. The unfunny gag reel which follows is a breath of fresh air by comparison.

For Jay and Silent Bob Reboot to not make my "Worst of 2019" list, the year will have to be apocalyptic. Only fans devoted to the point of idiocy could leave the film satisfied. It's so bad, it's making me do something I've never done before. Rather than turn me away from the series, I've become committed to seeing the whole thing through so I can truly tell you whether my fury is justified both as a non-fan, and as a fan. (Theatrical version on the big screen, October 17, 2019)

Merry Christmas. @thatkevinsmith love, Love, LOVE all of your creations. . . . . . . #fourtwenty #bluntmanandchronic #jayandsilentbobreboot #jasonmewes #kevinsmith #ejaythebhb #wescotlandbaby #wreckless_music #wrecklessmusic #theboondocks #boondocks https://www.instagram.com/p/B6e7JbXH-NH/?igshid=yvcd4ohjydsh

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From @thatkevinsmith panel promoting his new movie #jayandsilentbobreboot with the lovely @melissabenoist #jasonmewes and @harleyquinnsmith #reelnerd #thereelblog #sdcc #sdcc2019 #SDCC50 #sandiego #supergirl (at Hall H At San Diego Comic Con) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0K6kCzFwEl/?igshid=o32wpyz2h95i