#jerrixoxo writes things

[ghostee-atlas]

we’re choking on each other’s teardrops

How many people have looked the love of their life in the eye and knew that they were going to completely ruin each other?

Raindrops threatened to break through the windows as two bodies mingled in soft harmony. Sweet kisses were shared between the pair. Marcel pulled sadly away from Scotty's lips and looked into his sparkling baby blue eyes. He knew that Scotty couldn't sense Marcel's despair. He was too good at masking his emotions through smiles and reassuring words.

"I love you so much. I'm so irrevocably in love with you." Marcel whispered into the quiet house. Scotty hummed at his words and his lips tugged into a beautiful smile. Warm hands caressed soft cheeks.

"I know love. And I'm so irrevocably in love with you too." Scotty leaned into Marcel's touch and the two delved into silence. The storm raging outside threatened to rip through the house and scream Marcel's feelings for him. Poison rested on his lips and a lump formed in his throat. The mask he had upheld for so long was finally starting to break.

"This isn't fair." Marcel whispered to himself. His words seemed to boom in the quiet house.

"What do you mean love?" Scotty tilted his head in confusion. Marcel shook his head and Scotty could see his lips starting to tremble with unspoken words. "Marcel, what's wrong? You know you can always tell me what you're feeling." Marcel almost wanted to laugh at Scotty's words.

"What's wrong? We're what's wrong Scott." When Scotty only looked at him in worried confusion, Marcel started to fall apart. "We're so helplessly in love with each other when we have both known for a long time that we're never going to work. We're not going to last and it's killing me because we're both sitting here ignoring it."

Fresh tears filled dark brown eyes. Scotty reached out to wipe the tears before they could fall on his love's cheeks and his heart practically shattered when Marcel actually flinched away from him.

"Marcel… What's going on? What are you talking about?"

"We love each other and it's ruining everything! Stop pretending like you don't see it!" Marcel suddenly howled painfully. Tears streamed down his face and he looked like the epitome of a heart breaking into thousands of unfixable pieces. "From the moment we first fell in love we both immediately knew we were doomed. Please stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about! I know you feel it too!"

"Love…" Scotty's hushed voice seemed to be swallowed up by the tension filling the air. Teardrops started to fill dull blue eyes as well. "I just believed that if we ignored it, everything would work out and we'd be happy together."

The rain seemed to grow stronger as dry hearts finally admitted a long forsaken truth.

"No one ever wants to admit that the love of their life is someone that they can't have." Marcel cried. Scotty shushed him by slamming their lips together. Teardrops mingled with teardrops as the two communicated every feeling they could through the action. Sadness. Heartbreak. Bleakness. Homesickness. Love.

The two pulled away with a gasp and collapsed into tears in each other's arms. Lovebirds held each other as their love rapidly began to fall apart at the seams.

"I remember the moment we both fell in love with each other. It was the same moment." Marcel's voice shook as he spoke into Scotty's shoulder.

"We were with the guys and we were all sitting at the park. We looked at each other and, surrounded by sunshine and our best friends, everything clicked." Scotty spoke the unforgettable memory into Marcel's neck. Thunder timed itself to perfectly rumble through to match the sound of two hearts breaking each other apart.

Scotty was simply mesmerizing in the warm light of summer. A cool breeze just barely ruffled his hair and he simply looked angelic. Meanwhile, Marcel's smile looked as if heaven had just revealed itself. He was brighter than the summer sunshine.

Now they looked like broken dolls left out in the storm. Both of them felt that the other, with tears streaming down cheeks and eyes filled with melancholy, had never looked more beautiful. Sorrowful kisses replaced sweet ones and whimpers replaced "I love you".

That's how the night was spent. Broken love being shared between two completely ruined people. The storm was there every step of the way to watch them dissolve.

In the early hours of the morning, Scotty abandoned the couch in favor of his bed, knowing that he would now only ever be wrapped up in his blanket instead of his love's arms. Soon after, Marcel left his house, letting the rain drench him instead of being drench in Scotty's affections.

Hours later, Tyler would awaken to a phone call from a torn-to-pieces Scotty and Evan would open his front door to find a completely devoid-of-emotion Marcel sitting, soaked to the bone, on his front steps. And the day followed with friends mourning the love lost between two people who so desperately wanted everything to work while ignoring the blaringly obvious fact that it never would.

[ghostee-atlas]

uuuhhhhh hi,,, am writing bbs fanfic,,, gang au,,, want to know,,, should i post on here

(translation: i’m writing a bbs gang au fic and want to know if you guys would like me to post it on here for you guys to read. i already have two chapters of it published on my wattpad (jerri-xoxo) if you guys want to read it there. it’s called veil. anyway, just let me know if you guys would like me to also post it here. thanks for listening uwu)

[ghostee-atlas]

here’s another thing but with ... i don’t really know the ship name. it’s brian and evan. and me projecting my shitty feelings into fiction. whoops-

It was very easy for Evan to lose himself in his own thoughts. It was something that everyone had to take serious note of. There would be times that Evan got so lost in his own head that he neglected himself for weeks on end. So everyone decided that they would all keep an eye on him and if they started to see the signs that he fantasizing too much again, they would put a stop to it.

That plan fell apart rather quickly. With how different and busy everyone’s schedules were, it became way too easy for Evan’s lack of responsiveness to go unnoticed. 

It was Brian who finally decided to take action. He tried to keep Even in reality as much as possible online before he decided that wouldn’t work. After months of hard work and checking on Evan, he finally obtained a visa to go stay in the U.S. 

Of course Evan was reluctant at first. He didn’t see any problem with the fact that he would get so lost in his own head that he would practically start to waste away. But he started to come around when it was time for Brian to fly over. 

Evan wouldn’t bear the thought of Brian having to fret over him so much while also having to keep up with his own living conditions. So Evan forced Brian to stay with him. 

If the two weren’t already close enough, spending the first three months of Brian’s six month visa had made them impossibly closer to the point that it wasn’t uncommon for them to get people on the streets telling them that they were a cute couple. The pair didn’t really mind. 

“Evan. I know what you’re doing.”

Of course, Brian still had to manage keeping Evan out of his fantasies.

“I’m coming in.” The door swung open quietly and it took Brian a second to spot Evan curled up in a small chair at the window, bright eyes lit up by city lights and wild imagination. Brian’s footsteps echoed loudly as he made his way over. Of course Evan had left enough room for Brian to sit in the chair next to him. It was something they did constantly. 

“I’m sad.” Evan’s whisper was barely audible and his eyes hadn’t moved from the night sky when Brian turned to look at him. 

“You know it’s bad to keep getting stuck like this...” Brian replied, his own voice not much louder. Evan let out a hum of acknowledgement. “Tell me about some of the things you think about.” 

“I always wonder what it feels like to fly.” Evan answered quickly. “And not just in an airplane. I want to know what it’s like to feel the wind in my face as I soar through the sky. I want... I wish I had actual owl wings like in the fan art people make.” Evan takes a shaky breath. “Being human is so boring. I want magic and mystical creatures and grand adventures that would never be possible in this world.”

Brian watched as Evan’s eyes fluttered around, trying to think of the perfect way to put his feelings into words.

“I want to live with the gods! I don’t think anyone even knows this, but I fucking love Greek mythology! How fucking rad would it be to live among or even be such a thing?”

“Pretty fucking rad Evvy.” 

“I like to think that if we were all a figure from Greek mythology... I would be Icarus. Except I don’t fall into the ocean and die when my wings melt off. You. You would be... Hyperion. Yeah, you would definitely be Hyperion.”

Fingers were suddenly intertwining with his and, after he glanced down to look at their interlocked hands, Brian found Evan staring at him with wide, shining, dark eyes that looked impossibly beautiful. A giggle slipped past Brian’s lips.

“And would you care to explain who the hell that is so I’m not lost?” Evan looked taken aback for a moment before he, himself giggled a bit.

“Hyperion gets confused with Helios a lot. Helios is Hyperion’s son along with his daughters, Selene and Eos. Helios is the god of the sun while Selene is goddess of the moon and Eos is the goddess of dawn.” Evan drew in a sharp breath before continuing. “Hyperion is the god of watchfulness, wisdom, and light. And I think that’s just perfect. It describes you wonderfully! You always watch over all of your friends and make sure that they’re doing their best and you always stick by their side to give them advice and wisdom when they aren’t!” Evan’s thumb gently ran over Brian’s knuckles. “And the light. Shit Bri, you light up so many people’s lives! You’re just that incredible! You shine so much Brian, you’re fucking dazzling!” 

Brian stared at Evan with wide eyes as he talked. The comparison was a strange one as he had never been compared to a figure from Greek mythology so passionately like that before, but it was by far the best thing that anyone had ever compared him to.

He was so wonder-struck by Evan’s words that he never even noticed the heat radiating from his probably-pink cheeks. 

“Shit Ev... I honestly think I’ve never been so touched by anyone’s words in my life. Fuck...I think out of every adaptation there is, you’re the most perfect Icarus to ever exist.” And it was true. He could perfectly imagine Evan as Icarus. A boy so lost in his imagination and longing that he spirals out of control. Whether figuratively or literally. 

And, sitting by that widow in the city night light, a boy with wings made of wax and feathers leaned into the embrace of a god who vowed to always provide light in the other’s life.

[ghostee-atlas]

hey, i’m currently heartbroken and hurting so have this really sad one shot i just wrote and published on my wattpad account. (edit: tried to shorten link but tumblr hates me)

https://www.wattpad.com/673044876-music-one-shots-not-in-that-way