Plot - Jimin loves the look of your pretty pink panties…
The “are you still watching” logo on Netflix sits unnoticed on the TV in your bedroom. You forgot exactly when you’d stopped watching the show with Jimin, getting distracted by his lips on yours.
He hovers over you, leaving your lips to plant a kiss below your ear before sucking a mark. You raise your hips to grind against his, desperate for some friction. “Hold on baby, let me get these off you.” He moves back before undoing your jeans and lowering them down your legs. You notice his eyes immediately fall on your new panties, bought specially with him in mind.
One thing Jimin loved you in, was anything lace, floral, dainty…he loved treating you like his pretty little doll. Spoiling you with lavish gifts, taking you on vacations all over the world, draping you in diamonds and nothing else. So when you saw the lace pink set at your favourite boutique, you knew you had to get it. And judging by the look on Jimin’s face and the grip he now has on your hips, you definitely made the right choice.
“Bra too baby?” You nod and move to take off your shirt. Once your chest is on display, Jimin’s eyes darken. “So pretty…all for me aren’t you baby?” You nod once more, “Yes daddy, every inch.” His hands trail down your stomach, before landing at the hem of your panties. “Too pretty to take off….” he mumbles, staring at your barely covered cunt. “Can daddy play with you a little baby? Just wanna make my pretty doll feel good.”
You reach out for him, trying to pull him in for a kiss. He stops just as your lips are about to touch, “words, or I won’t take care of you pretty.”
“Please.” That’s enough for Jimin, he hops up and reaches over to your nightstand. Opening the drawer, he’s quick to find the lube and return to you. He places the tube beside you before grabbing the hem of his shirt and raising it over his head. You stare at the hardened body that’s becoming even more defined over the course of the tour. Jimin watches as you drink him up with your eyes, while moving to unbutton his jeans and throw them across the room.
The sound of the fabric being tossed away has your eyes drawn down, to where you can see Jimin’s pretty cock sitting rigid against his pelvis. The fabric of his underwear strained against it, making you reach out to run your fingers along his length. “Pull it out for me doll.” You eagerly do as your told, grabbing the tops of his underwear and pulling them down. You bite your lip as his cock slaps back against his stomach, his tip already drooling your favourite treat, smearing onto his stomach.
“Spread your legs for me pretty, wanna get that pussy nice and sloppy.” He groans at the sight of you opening your legs at his request, seeing your panties already sticking to your dripping pussy. He rubs your clit with his thumb, feeling your wetness through the lace. He reaches over with his free hand to grab the bottle of lube, opening and squirting some over your clothed cunt.
Despite the fabric of your panties, you still jolted from the cold of the lube hitting your skin. Jimin chuckles before using his cock to spread the lube over the front of your panties. You moan at the contact and reach down to grab at his wrist, but he beats you to it and places your hand beside your head. “Keep your hands away baby, just let me make my doll feel good.”
He continues rubbing the head of his cock over your panties, causing your hips to thrust up every time he hit your clit. He moves his cock down to your covered hole, before squeezing more lube onto the tip of his cock. “Just the tip pretty? Want me to make you cum with just the tip?” He rubs it over your panties, as you whine out a desperate “please.” He presses forward, the fabric of your panties only allowing him to push the tip of his cock into you before having to pull back.
He continues to thrust, only allowing the tip of his rock hard dick to push into your tight little hole. He wraps his hand around himself, jerking himself as he fucks into you. He suddenly moves down and presses against your panty covered asshole, before slipping the tip in as well. Your back arches as he fucks your ass, your panties still blocking him from completely ruining you.
He pulls back and suddenly moves your panties to the side, before slapping your clit with his heavy cock. He then lays it on your pussy and squirts more lube onto himself. He grips himself places the head of his cock at your entrance and starts slowly moving his hand back and forth. Feeling your tight little cunt attempt to grip onto him as he teases you. His groans grow louder as he jerks his cock, eyeing off your lace covered tits before reaching up and grabbing one in his hand.
“D-daddy I’m close, please I’m so close!” You whine as he pulls away from you, rubbing your legs together to ease the ruined orgasm he took from you.
Jimin suddenly places your panties back over your pussy before sliding his cock over them again. The feel of the lace on your swollen clit has you twitching, even more so when you feel Jimin’s heavy cock against it. He continues this for a while, moving down every once in a while to thrust against your hole.
“Please daddy, I need it inside me now.” You’re nearly in tears at the overstimulation, your hips thrusting upwards trying to get any sense of relief. “You want it baby? I don’t know if you’ll—if you’ll be able to take it.” He pants his words out, as your desperation and soaked pussy has his control slowly slipping away.
The sudden tearing of fabric from your lower half draws a gasp from you before it’s ripped from your lungs when Jimin suddenly thrusts his entire length into you. You scream as he begins fucking into you relentlessly. His groans echoing throughout the room and the smell of sweat and sex filling your noses. “Fuuuuck daddy it’s so good, so-so good.” You’re sobbing actual tears as your orgasm suddenly rips through you, forcing your back from the bed and your hands to immediately reach for Jimin’s. He removes one hand from your hip and grips yours, while the other moves over rubs your clit, prolonging your already intense orgasm.
“You’re gripping me so tight…gonna let me cum inside? Let me fill you up my pretty doll, let me see you dripping with me. Have you so full of me….” he lets out a load moan as he finally reaches the edge, his hips stuttering against yours and the grip on your hips returning as he works himself through it. You run your hands down his chest as his hips begin to still, panting and sweating above you. You push some of the long blonde hair from his face and lean forward to kiss his nose, eliciting a giggle from the dancer.
He leans down to kiss all over your face before grabbing you, rolling over and pulling you to lay on his chest. He lays his head back against the pillows and has one arm wrapped around your shoulder, stroking it as you lay there in post orgasm bliss. You trace the lines of his abs with your hand, placing gentle kisses on his chest as you do so.
“If you keep doing that doll, you’re going to start round 2.” You grin up at him, “you say that like it’s a bad thing! You didn’t seem to mind round 1.”
“You’re insatiable.” He tries to sound stern but the giant grin on his face tells you he doesn’t mind it one bit.
“You wanna see insatiable? Come join me in the shower.” You quickly jump up and run to the bathroom, squealing as you hear Jimin’s footsteps right behind you. He grabs you by the waist and holds you tight before turning on the shower, “Now what doll? Gonna show me you’re not all talk?”
summary: the last time you saw jimin, you were pathetically deep in a one-sided love while he wasn't even at the shallow edge, that was when you were on the stage, dancing and acting together for hundreds to see. now, you are grown, you like to think you're cool but when jimin comes back to your life, you are just as pathetically deep, once again, in a one-sided love.
masterlist masterpost
you were breathless when the lights cut out, the crowd immediately broke into loud applause and your teammates gathered around you to congratulate you but as good as all of it felt, your eyes searched for him, desperately, more desperately than you would ever admit to anyone else.
and when you finally caught him, he was leaving the stage, he didn’t turn back like you hoped he would, he didn’t congratulate you like you hoped he would and you swallowed your tears.
but it was okay.
it was going to be okay.
you would see him in class in a few days and everything would fall into place.
for now, you grab the friends around you and squeeze them, hoping everyone mistakes your tears for happy ones.
-
you like to think that you’re cool.
you didn’t cry when you broke up with your first boyfriend, you didn’t crawl back to him and never begged anyone for a second chance. you set a ten-minute timer to cry for your second boyfriend and when he called you right after breaking up with you to ask how you were feeling, you told him you were reading a book and cut the call.
so, yes, you are cool.
maybe a little too cool because now, you’ve been single for two years and your friends take more offense to that fact than you do.
“we are just worried babe, you don’t seem to like anyone,” mia whispered with her hands in her boyfriend’s hands, as if it was some big secret.
“you don’t have to be,” you gulp down your drink, ignoring all the looks your friends and their boyfriends give you.
they didn’t have to be, you were perfectly fine the way you were.
you were totally okay with sitting at the end of the table with an empty seat next to you, you were okay with listening to your friends be all romantic with their boyfriends, you were okay with everyone.
sure, sometimes you wish you had someone to call at night and talk nonsense with, and yes, it would be nice to have someone you can call yours and someone who would sit next to you as if any other place was unacceptable.
but those were all things you could adjust with, all things you have grown to get used to.
“but seriously, you don’t like a single person we set you up with, i know you have commitment issues but i don’t think you’re even trying,” megan, who you could always count on to give you a reality check, spoke up with you guessed it, her boyfriend’s arms around her.
next to her, faye pursed her lips and turned away from the conversation to say something to her boyfriend, you were at least grateful that she didn’t add to the advice.
“you were single till two months ago, don’t act like you’re some love guru,” you bite back and the whole table falls silent and you hate it.
you hate that you have to sit here and listen to them advising you as they’ve figured it all out.
you hate that you look bitter as fuck right now.
you hate that, just because you don’t have a partner, everyone thinks you’re miserable and lonely.
you hate that you probably are miserable and lonely.
“okay, let’s look at the menu, what does everyone want?” mia chimes in, the mom of the group, the problem fixer where glaringly you are the problem at this table, and everyone is gracious enough to follow suit, and check the menus.
except you.
“i think i’m going to leave actually, i feel pretty tired,” you pick up your bag and immediately everyone starts protesting, “you know i didn’t mean it in that way,” megan grabs your hand with softer eyes and you nod, “i didn’t either, i’ll meet you guys another time.”
and just like that, you’re not mad at her anymore.
“please stay, it’s been so long since we’ve met like this,” faye whispers next and you want to scream that it could’ve been just you and the girls, that you hated their boyfriends coming as extended versions of themselves but she did stay quiet, she didn’t encourage your friends shitting on you so you sit back down.
“sorry, i’m late,” your ears pick up on a new voice and you instinctively look up.
you almost kill yourself on the spot.
“hey guys, this is jimin, my friend, i hope it’s okay if he joins us,” noah, megan’s boyfriend gets up and hugs his friend who very gladly returns the hug and nods at everyone at the table as they introduce themselves.
but you already, unfortunately, know jimin.
just not from here, or from any recent period in your life but from a buried piece of school history.
and when he gets to you, you mumble your name and immediately look back at the menu.
what was he doing here?
did he recognize you?
you hope the fuck not because there wouldn’t be a bigger embarrassment than him remembering that he rejected you even before you could ever ask him out.
but when he sits next to you, you stiffen up, mutter out some dish’s name, and pretend to be very interested in the shape of your plate.
why did he smell so good?
“oh yeah, i think she went to the same school,” you hear faye’s voice and immediately, your hands clench on your lap.
“really?” and his voice isn’t familiar or unfamiliar, you know it’s been years, and voices, sounds, and faces change but jimin’s voice always had a certain warmth that no one else seemed to have.
and he still had it.
he carried that warmth everywhere.
especially in his eyes, which were looking right at you when you lifted your head up.
“i’m sorry?” you clear your throat and faye answers, “he’s from your school,” and you make a ‘is that so?’ face and quietly nod along.
“which year did you graduate in?” jimin speaks from your left, you swear he’s recognized you already when he leans into your figure, and god, if that didn’t make you want to shoot yourself.
“2015,” you say and then grab your wine glass, keeping it close to your mouth so that you don’t have to speak.
“oh same!”
you fucking know!
he is delighted of course and the smile on his face still makes your face red.
and that knowledge only twists your guts further.
“that’s great,” you dare to glance briefly to nod at him and then turn back to everyone else.
“okay.” he purses his lips and looks away.
fuck.
you were being rude.
it didn’t seem like anyone really minded cause they continued with their conversations but you and jimin were now deathly silent.
you had to fix this.
you can’t have him hate you in the present too.
“i know you,” is apparently the best you can do and you want to smack yourself when he raises his eyebrows at you because, from a supposed stranger, that was creepy and mildly horrifying to hear.
“oh?”
“yeah, you were in the cinderella play in school, the prince,” and it was out.
now you have to hold your breath and see if he laughs in your face.
“i was,” and then he cranes his neck to look at you.
really look at you.
you wait.
you know he’s going to hate you when he figures it out, you know that you’re going to kill yourself at this table.
but he keeps looking, eyebrows narrowing and dropping, eyes scanning your every feature, and you know he’s putting his earlier pieces together, that it’s finally clicking for him.
his smile disappears.
his eyes lose all warmth.
you can tell the second that it clicks for him.
“you were cinderella.”
you can’t hide, you can’t look away, you can’t run, all you can do is meet his cold and sharp gaze.
and nod.
he looks away, puts his head down, and lets out the heaviest sigh.
you try not to reach for the knife on the table.
-
the rest of the dinner was…awkward.
so painfully awkward.
once in a while, the conversation would turn to you both and you would force yourself to say a few words before going mute whereas jimin enjoyed the conversations only to fall mute whenever you spoke.
it was embarrassing, the hot kind of embarrassment that paralyzed your entire body, every movement you made felt unnatural and forced, every time your hand moved, jimin would jerk away and towards the end, you just folded your hands on your lap and refused to be mobile.
if anyone noticed anything, they didn’t say a word.
“we should still get a few more drinks,” megan insists outside the restaurant and you twist your entire face at her, “what?” she shrugs her shoulders and you look away, panic rising in your throat.
two hours beside jimin was torture enough.
any more and you would probably combust.
“actually, i agree,” jimin steps away from his conversation with noah and for a split second, you catch him looking at you but you turn away, though the split second still leaves your knees shaking.
“i would love to host you guys at my place if everyone is comfortable,” he offers graciously, a smile reaching his eyes, warmth so bright and inviting on his face but you know that the invitation didn’t extend to you.
and the same way you fell head over heels for him, you see everyone around you falling for him, their eyes soften, they all nod at him and start cheering at the long night ahead of them and you, well, you just want to go home, knock a few teeth out and escape from the country with a fake passport.
but everyone turns to you, your silence is a bit too loud in their chaos and you stammer as all of their faces pick up in anticipation.
“i’m gonna turn in for the night, you guys go ahead, have fun!” you raise your fists in cheer, cringe internally at yourself, swallow that shame, and start waving goodbye and turning around to leave.
and you were truly so close.
so, so close.
your cab was booked, the night was done and you exhaled in relief.
until you hear steps coming towards you, “come, it will be fun,” jimin’s voice was still new, a sound that almost knocked you over and you shifted on your feet, “you don’t want me there.”
“did i tell you that?”
“you don’t need to, jimin,” you hate how breathless you sound when you say his name.
jimin tilts his head at you, eyebrows furrowing again and you want to duck and crawl away from his sight, “i would lov-“
and your cab pulls up.
you clear your throat, “thanks for inviting me, but i have to go, goodnight,” and you step away towards your cab, not waiting for his response.
as your cab pulls away, you avert your eyes away from the pavement where he stands, eyebrows furrowed still, and eyes following the tires of the cab.
you take a deep breath in.
you would never see your first crush again.
and that was probably for the best.
-
sixth grade was life-changing for you.
it was the first time you realized you could feel so much for one person, even if you never intended it to happen that way.
you didn’t even know someone called jimin existed in school until he walked into your practice room, with a head full of thick, soft hair, with this smile that had you frowning, with this walk so confident which was uncommon in guys your age.
everyone was busy being cool, everyone was busy being something they were not but jimin was always just him.
when your drama teacher announced him as the prince in your drama, you nodded and looked away, passing him the script later and walking away.
liking jimin was never part of the plan, liking jimin wasn’t something you ever saw as a possibility, you always thought his personality was too much, too loud, and that he was a little too naïve and a little too bubbly.
but soon, he became your prince, as if every terrible cliché in the world had to come true, he became everything you would ever want in someone.
-
days passed, you watched the photos on your friend’s instagram from the night that you never ended up staying for, and you felt a jolt of joy every time jimin was in their pictures.
he still looked fucking gorgeous, he still smiled with his entire face, and he was still tall and moved with a confidence that guys, even at your age now, usually lacked.
it was a shame that he hated you.
you sighed, put your phone down, and waited for your nephew to burst out of his preschool class. as an aunt, you were constantly on babysitter duties, those duties included picking and dropping him places, taking him out to the park, attending parent-teacher meetings if your sister was too busy like she was today.
it was exhausting at times but your nephew was your baby too.
speaking of your baby, sunoo runs out the door full-speed, eyes darting everywhere before they land on you, you’ll always remember his smile as he heads straight towards you, your heart always picks up and immediately your arms are open to him.
“hey baby,” you mumble into his hair and he giggles, holding onto you tightly and you stand up, with him still koala wrapped around you.
when you look down again, a little girl is staring up at both of you with large eyes and you are immediately concerned.
where are her parents?
why is she alone?
“bubba, do you know your friend here?” you ask sunoo, who, to your relief, nods aggressively and signals to be put down.
and as soon as his feet are on the ground, he hands you his bag to hold her hand and your eyebrows jump up your forehead. sunoo was a very shy kid, he didn’t talk much to kids in the class, and his world was only your family.
so, when they both smile at each other with half their teeth still growing, your heart warms and you bend down to their height, “hello sunoo’s friend, can i know your name?” you hold out your hand and the girl shyly reaches out to take it, “arin,” she whispers before putting her hand back in sunoo’s and you giggle at the sight.
they were adorable.
“is it your first day here, arin?” you don’t remember seeing her and she nods, “this is my new school.”
“ah okay, sunoo, do you want to head inside for the meeting? arin can come in as well, yeah?” you look at them and hold out your hands to each of them which they happily take and you almost collapse when you turn around.
“you’ve got to be kidding me.”
jimin stood, a few feet away from you, with a pink backpack held loosely in his hands and your face immediately dropped.
this can’t be real.
this cannot be your tuesday morning.
this cannot be your life at all.
“what are you doing here?”
“what are you doing here?” you stare at him pointedly with your arms across your chest and he rolls his eyes, “that’s my niece next to you, she started here today,” and at that, you bend a little to see arin’s face and surely, the resemblance was there.
full cheeks.
and warm eyes.
god loved to punish you.
“oh.” and arin smiles at you, you smile back a little hesitantly and turn to see jimin who’s eyebrows have furrowed deeper than ever.
“yeah,” he looks exasperated at your presence and you try not to get hurt over it, “this is my nephew, by the way,” you point to sunoo, not knowing what else to do or say, and he waves at jimin with a toothy smile and like magic, jimin’s entire face melts into the most beautiful smile.
oh, fuck him.
he starts walking over and you clutch sunoo’s bag tightly, watching as his feet fall one after the other, watching as he completely avoids looking at you when he bends down to ruffle sunoo’s hair and press a kiss to arin’s head.
you hate when men are nice to kids, it makes it so much harder to despise them.
“oh, sunoo’s aunt! i didn’t know you came with your boyfriend,” you freeze at the sound of sunoo’s teacher coming from the hallway and jimin freezes too as she starts quickly walking over to you.
marjorie was an older woman who loved sunoo and you, she was the only teacher you trusted completely and she was also a bit chatty.
this was a live nightmare.
“he’s so handsome, good for you,” she slaps her hand on your arm while gushing at jimin and you, once again, wish to change your identity and immigrate to some unknown island.
“we’re not-“
“that’s not-“
and you both pause to glare at each other with pure venom in your eyes.
he may have been your first crush but he was insufferable and you didn’t need someone else to think that you were together with him and his horrid personality.
jimin probably thought you were enjoying this, people mistaking you to be a couple, just like in school, but he was so wrong, he wasn’t nearly as cute as he was in school.
marjorie clears her throat and stares at you with anticipation, you hate to break her bubble but, “i don’t know who he is marjorie, i think he’s related to your new student here,” you point to arin and she starts looking between the both of you in confusion and jimin extends his hand to her, “i’m arin’s uncle, i’m here for her parent-teacher meeting.”
she nods with a smile, taking his hand graciously, “oh that’s lovely, arin’s mom did say her uncle was coming today, come in, come in, you too, sunoo’s aunt,” and starts walking ahead of the both of you into the classrooms.
you and jimin follow her in, you watch as he takes in the school and the classrooms and smiles at the artwork made by the children all over the walls, you look away with an irritated scowl.
why did he pretend to be some children-loving, kind jesus when he was absolutely vile to you?
“by the way, you two look so good together, it’s a shame you’re not a couple,” marjorie smiles at the two of you and you both nod stiffly at her which seems to delight her as she walks into a room.
you and jimin glare at each other one last time before following her in.
-
sunoo is still holding arin’s hand as you and jimin awkwardly follow the two of them outside the school, the parent-teacher meeting was done, thankfully, only two other teachers assumed you were a couple but was that really a win?
“okay sunoo, why don’t you say bye to your friend and we can go home?” you step forward from the slow, uncomfortable pace set by you and jimin, sunoo pouts and tightens his hand around arin’s which makes you frown, and look at jimin who was also observing the scene in front of them.
“but arin,” he starts tearing up, his face scrunching up and your panic rises, “it’s okay baby, you’ll see her in class tomorrow and every day after,” you try to calm him down, “it’s saturday tomorrow,” he whimpers and you wince, “well, it’s only two days bub, i’m sure arin wants to go home too,” and arin starts pouting too, “no.”
wow, she looked even more like jimin when she pouted.
you look at jimin again helplessly and he also seems to be panicking, at least you weren’t alone.
“sunoo, arin,” he bent down, “you two are in the same class, you will see each other again soon, for now, everyone should go home after class,” jimin’s tone was strict but still soft enough not to trigger any tears but just when you think he’s a better guardian than you, arin huffs and throws her bag on the floor, “no!”
you almost join the bag to laugh on the floor at the shock in jimin’s face.
“she never does this,” jimin says with his mouth still wide open as he gets up and you raise your eyebrows, “i think she gets it from you, the drama of it all, it’s cute, don’t worry,” and he glares at you.
“kids, for today, we have to go home, another day, i’m sure we can do something,” you try to appease them and jimin scoffs next to you, making you narrow your eyes.
“wouldn’t you love that?” your mouth falls open as his eyes roll back in irritation.
the fucking gall this man has.
“shut the fu-“
your colorful words are interrupted by sunoo and arin, who are so in sync already, that they begin their sniffing and subsequent loud cries together.
you immediately shut up to meet jimin’s eyes in horror as both of you see the kids melt into a puddle of tears before you.
“okay, okay! what do you want?” jimin is the first to give in and you want to smack him on the head, you should never give in to kids, that was the rule, you should always wait for their meltdown to finish and then bribe them with something less than what they want.
“seriously?” you give him a dirty look.
“i hate to see her cry,” he whispers to you and if it were anyone else, you would gush, to be honest, you were gushing, but you were also hiding it really well.
“playdate!” it’s like they never cried at all, children were truly magical.
you stare at jimin, waiting for him to respond because if you guys agreed to the playdate, you were also agreeing to spend the next few hours together.
and you didn’t want to be the one to agree to that, it was bad enough that he thought you were getting a kick out of meeting him like this.
he finally lifts his head to look at you, you shrug at him with your heart beating thunderously against your chest, you almost place your hand on it to calm it down but it only gets louder when jimin smiles at you, “sure, that would be fun.”
-
“yay!” sunoo and arin burst into jimin’s house, throwing their shoes and bags at the doorstep to wander off into the house and you are left with jimin, who just like you, would rather be anywhere else.
“thanks for hosting, we’ll do it next time,” you mumble while shrugging your coat off and he smirks, “if you want to see me again, you can just say that.”
you throw your coat on his face and stomp into the house, letting go of any politeness or manners that you would usually have and his giggles float into the air around you, making you scowl.
if he wanted to behave like a pig, he would be treated like one.
“i meant it though, sunoo doesn’t talk to anyone so it was nice to see him bond with arin, but i won’t be the one hosting it, it would be my sister, so no one’s dying to see you, settle down,” you sit down on the sofa, keeping your back straight and legs neatly crossed over the other, and scanned the house that you’ve only seen on instagram till now.
it was a nice house, cosy and bright and definitely expensive.
“arin doesn’t usually talk to anyone either so works for both of us.”
“but what if i wanted to see you?” he joins you on the couch and you roll your eyes, “can you stop with that nonsense?”
“it’s not nonsense, just a question,” jimin shrugs, “tea or coffee?” and you’re appalled at his skills of diverting a conversation, “green tea, if you have it, thanks,” and he laughs, walking into the kitchen, “you know, you don’t have to be so formal with me, we know each other,” and you squirm in your seat.
“i know you’d prefer it if we didn’t,” and jimin pops his head out of the kitchen, “what makes you think that?”
“seriously?”
was he dumb or were you overthinking this?
you get up and walk over to the kitchen where jimin stands, in the simple t-shirt and jeans under his coat, and he looks unjustly attractive in that bland outfit.
“did you forget school or something?” you ask again and he shakes his head, handing you a mug of steaming green tea, “i haven’t forgotten anything, i’m very sharp in case you didn’t notice already,” and you have to let out a groan at his tone.
“i know you hate me, jimin, you don’t have to sugarcoat anything just because we’re older now,” you take a sip, appreciating the light sweetness in the green tea, “did you add honey?”
“nope, cinnamon and i don’t hate you, where the fuck did you get that?” he looks at you as if you’re insane, as if you’ve imagined the times he ignored you in school, as if you’ve imagined him smiling at everyone but you during drama practice, as if you’ve imagined him leaving the stage without even looking at you.
was this what people called ‘gaslighting’?
“um you were an asshole to me and an absolute angel to everyone else,” you try to sound cool and casual about the whole thing but you were dying a little inside about having to have this conversation.
“when?”
“always.”
“no, but when exactly?”
“are you really going to make me say it?” you raise your eyebrows at him, there was absolutely no way that he didn’t know that he was your first crush and that he hated being liked by you.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” and you force yourself to smile because if you didn’t, you might just throw the mug in your hands, onto his face.
“you look weird,” he frowns at you and you purse your lips, trying to keep your calm, “i really have no idea why you think i hate you, then or now.”
and you were done.
“during play practice! you smiled at everyone, talked to everyone, played along with everyone, talked to them even after the play finished but never to me! are you happy now that i’ve said it?” you push the mug away from you on the counter and fold your arms across your chest, looking away to some corner in the kitchen.
if there was a feeling more dreadful than shame, you were feeling it right now.
how embarrassing that you still remember every single detail about him, how your adolescent mind never really let him go, how your crush on him was so clear, so true that it never left you.
“y/n,” he calls out and your heart is in your throat.
his voice, even as a kid, was so soft, he always spoke so well, he always spoke as if the opposite person was the most interesting person in the world but somehow, that tone never came when he talked to you.
“can you look at me?”
“no.”
“no?” he laughs out, palms coming up to cover his smiling face and for a moment, you’re starstruck again, you can only stare at his smile that held the world’s love and warmth, from your periphery though.
“okay, don’t look at me but i never hated you-“ and just as you’re leaning into listen to jimin, loud stomps break the moment and you’re both turning to see who’s coming.
it’s sunoo.
and he’s crying.
“baby, what happened?” you get up from your seat to sit on your knees in front of sunoo, “home!” is all he says and you frown, “that’s no way to talk in a home that has invited us, sunoo,” you weren’t as strict as his mom but kids needed to be disciplined from time to time.
“it’s okay,” jimin sits beside you, “what happened, big guy?” he coos at sunoo who instantly falls into jimin’s arms and you’re left baffled, this wasn’t like sunoo at all, he never touched anyone until he liked them.
this was dangerous.
“arin’s not giving me her toys, i want to play too,” sunoo says between hiccups and whines and you straighten beside jimin, “those are arin’s toys sunoo, you should ask someone before you use their stuff, you know this,” and he falls silent.
“but arin should also share, right? she should know that too,” jimin rubs his palms on sunoo’s back who nods furiously, “i asked!”
“okay, let’s call arin and we can sort this out?” jimin suggests but sunoo shakes his head, “home,” he says again but with exhaustion instead of anger.
oh, the trials and tribulations of a 5-year-old.
and you know that once he’s tired, he won’t listen to a word, “i think we’ll head home, he’s tired so,” you scoop sunoo up in your arms and he immediately curls into your shoulder.
“i’m sorry,” jimin sighs and you let out a laugh, “they’re 5-year-olds’s jimin, it’s no one’s fault, and we’ll arrange something for them at mine or my sister’s, okay?” you don’t know why you’re trying to console him but it came automatically.
at the door, jimin casually wraps your coat around you, being careful to not disturb sunoo who was already dozing off, and you walk to your car with your hands and heart full.
“let’s talk sometime, yeah?” jimin says from next to you and you narrow your eyes, “why?”
“god,” he throws his head back with a delighted look on his face, “i just want to talk, jeez,” and you nod reluctantly.
“here,” he opens the door for you to put sunoo in carefully, you could’ve done it yourself but you didn’t mind the help.
“thanks…for today, it was nice of you,” you look at jimin and he nods with a teasing smile, “i can be very nice,” and you roll your eyes, closing the door and effectively creating a barrier between you two.
and you can finally breathe.
while you pull away, you feel your heart thud and thud and thud again.
seeing him with sunoo and spending so much time alone with him did a number on you, you’ll have to write down why you hate him to make sure that no lingering feelings surface but as you leave, he smiles at you through your side view mirror and you’re not sure you ever stood a chance.
-
it only took you a few seconds to understand what you felt, that it was against everything you had believed until then.
it was the first time you were so close to a guy, his hands were a little above your waist, your hands were on his shoulders, and his face was (so) close to yours.
you were practicing for the ballroom scene and when you looked at his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, you felt your stomach drop with the realization that you liked him, this guy that seemed so ordinary some minutes ago, became something magical, something beyond you and your heart.
“come closer, you two,” your drama teacher shouted over the music and you mindlessly shuffled forward and jimin moved with you, hands tightening on you by instinct and your breath hitched.
you danced weakly, still reeling with the consciousness of liking him and he looked like he did any other day.
later that day, everyone left the practice room except you and jimin, you waited for him to look at you at least once, say anything, you would’ve hung onto any word but he scurried out of the room just as you opened your mouth to tell him what you felt.
“jimin, can we talk? i think i lik-” and he was out of the door.
as if he could sense what was coming next and wanted to avoid it.
and since then, you never brought back the courage to tell him anything.
you had to make peace with that, your buried feelings in your heart had to stay buried.
and you coped with that until the day of the actual play, until he looked like he wanted to say something too, right when the ballroom scene started.
but then, he didn’t turn back on the stage, and you were left warm from his touch, cold from his absence, hurt from his steps away from you, and hopeful from how he looked at you in the eye while you danced.
-
“are you sure that it’s the same guy?” your sister’s voice came from your phone’s speaker and you sighed, “unfortunately, yes, he is,” and she laughed an evil laugh that told you how much she loved this situation.
“this is golden, you used to be so obsessed with him,” she gasped, you were sure her mind was playing the whole reel of you gushing about jimin, “that was a long time ago, give it up.” you groaned and scrolled mindlessly through your instagram.
jimin had sent you a follow request after you left his house a couple of days ago, you almost fell from the bed when you saw it pop up on your screen but what was more embarrassing was the speed with which you accepted the request and sent one back.
“oh my god, i just remembered how you would go for that weekly school exercise thing just to see him! you used to bend forward, backward, to see him a few lines away, this is amazing, this is amazing!” she sang from your phone and you winced at that memory.
it was true, you only went to the weekly drill to see jimin, a quick glance of his face used to make you unexplainably happy.
but with your fingers scrolling through his posts now, you guessed that some things just don’t change.
jimin would probably be doing the same thing, no one sends an instagram request without the intent to stalk that person’s profile, right?
but maybe he has a life and you don’t.
sigh.
“can you send me a picture of what he looks like right now? also, what is sunoo doing?” she asks and you frown, “sunoo is sleeping and why do you need his picture?”
“i just want to see,” and she starts rambling about how she deserves it as your sister, you tune it out, getting up to answer the door when the bell rings.
“it’s just so crazy to me that he’s back in your life, like imagine meeting your first crush in your nephew’s school? i bet it’s only yo-“ but you’re not listening to her at all anymore because at the other side of the door, are jimin with arin, who have both now heard your embarrassing older sister.
“anyway, send me a picture after you’re finished stalki-“ and you cut the call.
“hello.” you clear your throat, and he waves his hand while arin beams at you.
“oh wait, please come in,” you open your door wider, watching with wide eyes as they both step in and take in your home, you are suddenly too conscious about your pajamas and hair.
you weren’t expecting visitors.
what is he even doing here?
just as you’re about to ask jimin, he turns to you with a guilty look which consists of sad, puppy eyes and a slight pout.
arin truly gets it from her uncle.
how is that look not turning you off?
you know for a fact that the same exact look on another man would have just pissed you off.
“sorry to come so suddenly, you mentioned where you lived in one of our messages and arin was killing me all morning about wanting to see sunoo, and i tried to calm her down, i really did but you know how it gets,” jimin rambles on and on, and you nod along, only half distracted by his long coat and ruffled hair.
he must have come in a rush too.
and yes, you were texting each other and no, it’s very casual and friendly talk only.
“i thought they were fighting?” you ask and signal jimin to follow you into the kitchen where you put on a pot of water to boil.
how did he look like he belonged in your space when he was in it for all of two minutes?
“i thought so too,” jimin laughs and you smile at the sound of his laughter, you loved it then, and you love it now, someone should shoot you to snap you out of whatever magic spell jimin has cast on you.
“arin baby, what do you like?” you turn to her and she shakes her head, “you’re not going to ask me?” jimin raises his arms up in question and you hum, “you take what i give you, park jimin,” and he’s laughing again.
wow, you must be some extraordinary comedian.
“sunoo is sleeping right now but i’m sure he would love to see you guys, i’ll just be right back with him,” you place a cup of green tea in front of jimin and start heading out of the room.
“honey?” you hear as you’re leaving, “nope, cinnamon,” you reply, ignoring the shiver up your spine from how he called out honey.
after a lot of struggle with sunoo’s blanket and begging him, he was finally out of the room and standing in front of arin with his arms crossed, you and jimin watched with interest as they stared at each other.
“what do you think they will do?”
“fight?” you offer and jimin rolls his eyes at you, “they’re kids,” and you shrug, “kids are very good at fighting.”
and your eyes snap back to them when arin hugs sunoo over his crossed arms, you and jimin look at each other with your hearts melting as sunoo tries to resist but soon, gives up and wraps his arms around her.
“they’re so cute,” he whispers, and you nod with your hand over your heart.
sunoo and arin then take off to the living room where his toys are laid out and they’re lost in their own world within the next five minutes.
you and jimin sit in the kitchen, sipping your tea and looking at each other, only to return to sipping your tea, words lost in your tongues and throats.
“was that your sister on the phone?” and you ignore it, staring at the cup of tea with much focus and interest, “hey, she was, wasn’t she?” his voice gets more teasing, more light, more carefree and you hate that it makes you smile, you hate that your cheeks still flush in his presence.
“i won’t tell anyone or will i?” he winks at you when you finally look up and you groan, slamming your face into the table and he giggles next to you, uncontrollably.
“i’m going to kill myself,” you mumble into the table and he brings his hand forward to push your face away from the table and…towards him, his face and you almost fall off a chair once again because of him.
“don’t worry, i stalked you too.”
-
it was scary, how quickly you could come to terms with the fact that you liked jimin again, how quickly your heart accepted him even if ages passed and even if you’ve both changed.
“why do you even like him?” this was a question that your friends had asked you then, a question that your sister asked you then, and a question you often asked yourself.
it was simple to you.
jimin was different.
softer than other men but stronger too.
more delicate but also more protective.
he could make you blush and burst into laughter, in all of two seconds.
he was always like that, even when kids back then were trying to be cool and tough, jimin carried a bright, easy smile with care for the people around him. even if it didn’t always extend to you, it was still there.
but you think that might have changed.
“and you’re sure you are free to pick sunoo up?” your sister asks and you nod happily, “absolutely, don’t worry, i got him,” and she thanks you before cutting the call.
and now, you’re standing in front of his school in a better outfit than you normally would wear, you’re giddy with sweaty palms and flushed cheeks, but you don’t hate this.
“looks like someone’s all dressed up,” you don’t stop yourself from grinning at jimin’s voice from a few feet away.
fine, maybe you’ve been picking sunoo up a lot more these days but that’s just you being the best aunt in the world.
“unlike you, people like putting an effort into their outfits and personal style,” but you’re lying straight out of your teeth, jimin had a very good sense of style but he didn’t need to know that and besides, when he laughs and bumps your shoulder with his, your heart lights up.
so, this is what park jimin is to everyone else.
this is what everyone else felt when they were next to him.
how did all of them not fall in love with him?
you couldn’t have been the only one.
you don’t think you’ve ever felt this sure of something in your life.
you like chocolates, but not in milkshakes or when they are dark.
you like reading books, but sometimes you get into a slump.
you like romantic comedies, but sometimes, you find them cringeworthy and unrealistic.
you like jimin.
but….nothing, you just liked him.
“should we go get ice cream after this?” you turn to see him and he raises his eyebrows so, you quickly backtrack, “sunoo keeps asking for it and arin would like it too,” and he nods at it, you nod fiercely with him.
what your nephew wants, he gets, of course.
“i didn’t ask for ice cream,” is the first thing that flies out of sunoo’s mouth when you tell him about it, you are frozen with your knees bent as jimin stifles a burst of laughter behind his palms and you know if you turn around, you might as well bury yourself six feet under.
“sunoo,” you warn-whisper and he just tilts his head at you, you drop your head, there is no point in blaming your nephew for this, you’ve done this to yourself.
you grab sunoo’s hand and speed-walk to your car without looking back, with red cheeks and shaky palms.
the universe seems to be hell-bent on making sure that you embarrass yourself in front of park jimin for the rest of your life.
“hey hey, where are you going?” jimin pulls you back with his hand around your elbow and you purse your lips, “did you not hear my nephew out me?”
he throws his head back in laughter, “i did but don’t be silly, let’s go,” and you frown, “go where?”
“for ice cream,” and you’re lost again, he’s tutting at you, “if you want ice cream, we’re getting ice cream,” and looks down at you with a grin that has you holding your smile back, “okay.”
at the ice cream store, jimin hovers around you, asks you your favorites, asks you if you like desserts, asks if you like movies or tv shows, and you answer each question with increasing fondness towards him.
god, you must love attention.
“you were so intimidating in school,” and your jaw dropped, “no, i wasn’t! if anything, you were intimidating,” and jimin shook his head, “no way, how was i intimidating? i talked to everyone.”
you wipe ice cream from the corners of sunoo’s mouth as you speak, “that was intimidating to me because i didn’t talk to too many people,” and jimin nods, “and for me, you were intimidating, i could talk to literally anyone and everyone but you.”
“but why?”
“why?” he looks up in question and you pause for a second, not knowing if you should continue the sentence, “but why was i intimidating? why couldn’t you talk to me?”
because i would’ve given everything to talk to you, stays deep in your throat.
jimin sits back in his seat, pondering for a few seconds and you almost take it back, you almost tell him to forget it but then he opens his mouth, “you were intimidating because you were always good at what you did,” and your eyes widen by their own accord, you had never heard that from anyone except your drama teacher.
“i don’t know if you remember but i was so lost in the beginning, i didn’t know anything about acting but you set this example that i could follow and it was easier for me, you were constantly checking on me too,” he laughs amusedly, as if that time was playing behind his eyes and you crack a smile too, though your heart just got warmer and warmer until it felt like it was catching on fire.
“you were good at it too, jimin, especially the dance,” he was taken for his dance skills first and he was bloody good at it, “i know, i was amazing,” and you’re throwing a tissue paper at him.
“but i wanted to talk to you,” he nods as he speaks and you can’t help it, “because you knew that i liked you?”
he stops himself from grinning, “that was the biggest shock of my teenage life, y/n,” and you roll your eyes, “i know, it’s hard for me to believe too,” he groans and slides into his seat, making you giggle.
“did you…really like me?” his voice is soft, unguarded, and he throws one arm over his eyes, you notice his cheeks are red too and you shift in your seat, the mood was shifting, you didn’t want to giggle and deny it like you probably would have if he asked that even some ten seconds ago.
“i did,” and he removes his arm, and stares at you unsuredly, as if he doesn’t believe you and you clench your hands on your lap to hold back from saying anything else.
“home!” a chorus from the kids you’ve forgotten about brings you back to life, a life where it wasn’t just you and jimin in it.
jimin smiles, “how about a refill?” and as they cheer out loud, he looks at you, and you know that look.
he had something to say.
-
you both got scolded by your respective siblings for giving their kids extra ice creams but it also meant that the kids loved you more, you and jimin had giggled about it on text.
it was a win-win for you.
but what was even more of a win-win was that jimin purposefully got them extra ice cream to spend more time with you, you are about 90% sure that’s the reason.
you spent about half the day in that ice cream parlour, and jimin asked you questions that no one else ever has and you asked him all those things you never got to when you were in school.
it was terrifying, to talk to him like that, to give him parts of what made you, you, and it was especially terrifying when you gave all of it away so easily.
“so, you’re coming to pick him up, right? like this isn’t an extra task for you?” jimin’s voice through a phone was different, lower, more serious, you loved it.
“definitely, don’t even worry about it, i’ll pick her up and bring her over,” you didn’t know what it said that he trusted you with his niece but it had to be something good, it made you feel fantastic.
“thank you so much, seriously, i owe you one,” and you can sense the relief in his tone, “you do owe me one, yes,” he laughs at your tone, “you get here, i’ll make it up to you very well.”
on the whole way there, you are so giddy that you can’t stop smiling.
you never understood why people got so excited over phone calls but if it was up to you, you would’ve never even cut the call with jimin.
when you get to the school, sunoo and arin are holding each other’s hands and standing obediently next to margaret.
“hi kids, today auntie is going to take you both home, are we excited?” sunoo and arin raise their hands up in joy and you resist the urge to pick them both up and give them one nice hug.
“her uncle called and said you would be picking her up,” margaret smiles at you knowingly and you roll your eyes, “it’s nothing like that margaret, we’re good friends,” and she scoffs at you but it only makes you giddier.
it felt good that someone, besides you, liked the idea of you two together.
you: picked them up, on my way over!
jimin: thanks again, see you soon <3
you almost throw your phone out of the window in happiness but for the sake of the kids, for them to think you’re not some insane person, you just grin and put your phone aside.
“okay arin, let’s go to your uncle’s place,” after checking them, you fasten your seatbelt and they both cheer again.
oh, you love these kids.
as you pull away, they instantly start rambling about their day, which picture they were made to draw, which teacher annoyed them, which toy was stolen, which color pencil they lost and you nod intently, offering dramatic reactions wherever you could.
“and then mummy told me that i had to throw away some toys but can you talk to mummy? i like my toys,” sunoo whines to you and you sigh, “you got it buddy, i’ll deal with your mother.”
“so arin, what have you been upto? anything exciting?” and she lights up, “i drew a castle today, do you want to see?”
“of course baby, as soon as we’re home, i absolutely have to see it,” your agreement only makes her happier, “our new home is nice, i like it, mummy and daddy made my room pink, and i even have a close friend!”
“is that so? who’s this lucky person?”
“it’s miss ana, uncle jimi’s girlfriend! she’s always over at uncle’s home and she likes me, i like her too.” and she goes back to swinging her legs and poking at sunoo until he laughs.
in the front seat, you are frozen and confused.
“your uncle has a girlfriend?” you try to sound casual and you hate that you’re asking a kid about this but you couldn’t help it.
“yeah.” she shrugs and goes back to sunoo.
you felt your stomach turn.
of course, he has a girlfriend.
of course, you had read it all wrong.
of course, you are the idiot again.
you kept your eyes steady on the road as the feeling of nothingness settled into you.
you would get over this, you got over jimin once, you could do it again and next time, you wouldn’t make the stupid mistake of thinking that anyone could ever like you for anything more than what you present them. you’ve gotten over first boyfriends, situationships, and dates which felt like they would lead somewhere and you would get over this too.
it was weird that you could still feel the same embarrassment of liking jimin, the same pathetic feeling you get when you overestimate yourself and what people feel about you, rises and falls in your chest.
but it was okay.
you’ll get over this.
-
“oh jimin! jimin!” you turned your face away from classmates who yelled his name.
somehow, the cat was out of the bag and everyone knew about your crush on him, your bets were on one of your play’s cast members but you couldn’t point a finger at anyone. your school was small and boring enough for this kind of stuff to spread quickly.
it was true, you did like him, a lot but you never wanted anyone to know, you only wanted him to know.
you were hoping to catch him alone, tell him that you liked him, and accept whichever response he gave you, he didn’t have to like you back but now, he knew, you knew that he knew, it was just not in the way you ever wanted him to know.
and then one day it happened.
the quiet rejection.
the annoyance of being liked by someone you don’t like back.
“look, look! they’re together” you were in the hallway, talking to your friends and jimin was just a few feet away, your friends were subtly pushing you toward him while you pushed back and his friends were pushing him.
that itself was embarrassing enough.
then, your back hit his back and you froze, skin tingling already but he immediately pushed away, and you heard him yell at his friends.
“how many times have i told you guys not to bring her up? how many?” jimin was a gentle guy, that was the first time he had yelled at someone and it was because of you.
and since then, whenever you were in the same room, he would look away with an irritated sigh, he would leave the room or he would glare at his friends until they shut up.
you took it all in, you really did, you just reasoned to yourself that you too, would be very annoyed if your friends acted like that.
but one day, you were alone in your art classroom, arranging some portraits and he walked in, your eyes met his and you were both too aware of how empty your surroundings were, for the first time in a really long time.
he immediately stepped back, his footsteps landed heavily as he walked away.
no one was there.
no one to make fun of him, no one to see or hear.
but he still pretended that you didn’t exist.
your feelings were more tender then.
your heart was a bit too soft and you had taken that as his reply, his response, his rejection and you buried your crush.
your chest was tight the entire day, you couldn’t speak without choking up because as much as you accepted his rejection, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
he never uttered a word to you since then.
you vowed to yourself never to like anyone too much again.
-
“how was school, guys? i missed you,” jimin hugged arin and sunoo as soon as they entered his home and you stood near the door frame with your heart in your throat.
today wouldn’t have been so hard if you didn’t have to see him.
they leave his arms and run into the house, their bags and socks left behind and you quickly collect sunoo’s stuff to put them aside.
“hey,” he appears beside you and you nod, keeping your eyes away from his face.
“i missed you too,” and you wish that you didn’t give in to seeing his face because as soon as you turn to face him, you are in front of his warm eyes and smile, the ones you were so jealous others could see.
but whatever feeling tried to creep on you, you shoved it away.
you nod again, swallowing and the warm scene fades and it’s replaced with a stiff awkwardness that both of you feel in a flash.
you see it go away, the warmth, the smile, the eyes, all of it drops and you hate that you feel terrible even if you didn’t do anything.
“arin made a castle drawing, it’s in her bag,” you say and jimin frowns before shaking his head, “of course, i’ll see it later.”
and your head bobs once again, the only response you could produce at the moment and when jimin steps forward, you step back.
“hey, is everything okay?” he asks, fingers reaching to scratch the nape of his neck confusedly, “yeah, everything’s fine.”
this time, he’s the one nodding and pushing his hands into his pockets, “i’ll make you tea, come on,” you have no choice but to follow him in, though you stay at least five steps behind him.
any touch from him would break your resolve, you couldn’t afford that, not anymore.
“honey or cinnamon?”
“honey.”
“alright,” jimin frowns once again, turning away to boil some water.
and you sit there, wondering if this is all you could ever be with him, wondering if both of you were always destined to be close and far, you feel scalded by the fact that he had never mentioned a girlfriend, you hadn’t asked but he shouldn’t have been texting you the way he was.
“you know, i owe you one,” he turns with a mug of steaming green tea and you stiffen in your seat when he hands it to you with a small, unsure smile, “would you accept dinner as me making it up to you?”
twenty minutes ago, you would’ve jumped up, spilling hot tea everywhere, and closed around him, your arms and heart giving even more way for him, but that was twenty minutes ago, now your arms and heart were closing in on themselves.
him rejecting you in school, you could handle.
him hating your presence, you could handle.
but this, you could only handle for about five minutes before you crumbled.
you should’ve never let your young feelings grow and stay.
“don’t worry about it, you don’t have to do anything, it was just one pickup,” you shrug, playing with the handle of your mug and you see jimin visibly deflate.
“okay, i don’t know what’s going on, is everything okay? did i do something?” the pleading in his tone was there, the sincerity in his face was there but you couldn’t believe any of it.
“nothing happened, jimin, it’s just that you don’t have to make up for anything,” you couldn’t bring yourself to confront his betrayal, to ask him about his girlfriend, you know that any answer would just hurt you more.
“fine, i don’t want to make up for anything, i want to take you out on a date, a proper date without anyone else around, because,” and he pauses, you release the breath caught in your chest, grateful and disappointed that he didn’t finish his sentence.
“i don’t think that’s a good idea,” you give a weak smile, feeling your bones tighten in your body, you would snap like a bowstring if this continued.
jimin looks away, chest rising and falling slowly, he squeezes his eyes shut and you see his hands shake as he whispers, “why?”
“sunoo is sleep!” arin’s yell makes you get up immediately, the distraction was welcome and needed, “also, see this!” she shoves her drawing into your hands and you smile at the messy green castle.
“it’s beautiful, arin, just like you,” you tap her nose and she giggles, you are all too aware of jimin’s stare on your back so, you pat her head and rush to take sunoo out of her bed and into your arms.
you held your nephew tighter to you, his sleeping form was the only thing keeping you stable, you never realized before how much you needed him the way he needed you but today, you needed him most even if he was just sleeping in your arms.
you don’t say bye to jimin on your way out, you only hug arin, ask her to take care, and leave his home with your mind so heavy that you feel like you could tip and fall over.
but as you pull away, you catch jimin in your side mirrors, he stands as if he’s lost everything, you almost turn back, break down in his arms, and ask him why he was so cruel to you, but you drive away instead.
-
“and you’re sure that he won’t be there?” you ask megan for the third time over the phone and she sighs, “listen, it’s his friend, i can’t tell him not to invite his friend but i did tell him that something happened, the rest is truly up to him,” and you bite your lip in annoyance.
it’s been two weeks, you’ve successfully avoided jimin at sunoo’s school, you’ve ignored his calls and deleted his texts without reading them, and you were only one more week away from mentally cutting him off completely.
but again, the universe hated you and noah’s birthday came up right as you were starting to forget that a person named jimin existed.
“you’re right, i’m sorry for being difficult and i’ll be there, noah is sort of my friend too,” you give in, you couldn’t be a bitch to your friends just because you were going through something, and megan hums, “but just know that i won’t judge you at all for not showing up, it’s totally your call.”
you thank her and close your eyes as the call goes dead on the other end.
what a fucking mess.
-
“happy birthday to you!” you sing with everyone else as noah shyly stands in the center with the birthday candles lighting up his face.
it was nice to see your friends again, you melted into every hug they gave you as you walked into noah’s home, you almost teared up at how much you needed them, you were annoyed with all of them just weeks ago but now, you saw clearly that you needed people who cared about you in your life.
“how are you feeling now?” faye put her head on your shoulder as you sat on the couch and you hum, “i’ve been better babe but i’ll be fine soon, i promise,” you squeeze her hand and she purses her lips, “i don’t think he will come, you know, it’s already been a while since the party started, everyone will leave in an hour or so,” and you know that she’s trying to make you feel better.
“thank you for saying that but even if he does come, it’s okay, it’s not like i’ll see him after this,” you shrug and she nods unsurely, “but it’s also okay if you feel shitty that he’s here, you know? you don’t have to pretend that you’re fine with all of it, it’s not a great situation, he lied to you and you’re hurt, you’re allowed to be hurt.”
you blink back tears as you try to rush some air into your lungs that tighten with each word from her.
“i love you, faye.” you whisper, “i love you more,” she smiles and pats you on the back before getting up, “now i’m going to get us some drinks so you stay there in that emotional mood,” you laugh at her and shoo her away.
maybe you weren’t fine now, you won’t need to be for a while but you’ll be okay at some point.
you sigh, you don’t want to be here anymore and pretty much everyone’s given you the green light to leave, you can always have drinks with faye another time so, you get up, surer than ever that you don’t want to be okay anymore, you kiss your friend’s goodbye, you thank noah for inviting you and you step out to the cold night.
right near your car, just as you feel relieved and light, you hear it.
“y/n?” and then quick footsteps.
a presence behind you.
his voice in your ears and bones.
and you freeze.
you hold the key to your car and your legs feel so heavy, they might as well be dead, and you blink, you do nothing but blink until he’s in front of you.
you almost cry at the sight of his face.
“you’re leaving?” jimin huffs out, his breath leaving white clouds in the night and you just stare.
how could someone so beautiful lie to you?
you only come back to earth when you feel him scanning your face and body, as if he was re-remembering what you looked like, as if he was savoring you in front of him but you knew it was all deceitful.
and you lose it.
“don’t you feel ashamed?” you breathe out, feeling every nerve in you tighten impossibly, your body was once again a bowstring being pulled, in front of him.
tight and so breakable.
jimin’s entire face falls, “about what, y/n? why haven’t you been answering my texts and calls? why are you suddenly ignoring me? what is going on? i tried to come up with so many reasons but none of them made sense, i thought we were heading towards something good?” and his face looks so pained, so sad that you almost break.
almost.
“i should’ve never fucking liked you in school, i should’ve never given you that ego boost, i should’ve seen you for who you are,” you angrily spit out as you fumble with your keys and open your car.
without looking at him even once, you climb in, leaning back once you are in.
but immediately, as you begin to start the engine, another door opens and jimin is in your car.
jimin is in your car.
“what the fuck are you doing? get out!” you yell at him, and he shakes his head, “i’m not going anywhere until you explain to me what is going on.”
“i don’t have to explain shit to you, get out jimin, or i swear to god,” you huff out, feeling your hands shake from the rage you felt, he doesn’t move an inch, “or what?”
“seriously?”
“yeah, if i don’t get out, what will you do?”
“i’ll fucking crash this car.” you level your glare on him and he sits back, “do it.”
“what?”
“do it, crash it, i’ll pay for the repairs, but i’m not getting out until you tell me why you hate me right now.” the calmness he had at that moment, the level in his tone never wavering, pissed you off even more.
“fine, we can sit here all night,” you shrug, desperate to match his cool, you switch off the engine, “fine by me,” jimin shrugs back and you clench your teeth to not groan at him.
minutes pass, you tap your foot against the floor of the car, he looks out the window, and both of you sit stubbornly without making a move.
you should be furious.
you should be still trying to kick him out.
but you slowly start to deflate, your anger fades bit by bit as the feeling of missing him, liking him even now, begins blooming in you again.
“who is ana?” you whisper, not trying to hide how sad just mentioning her name made you.
whatever his answer was, you would move on.
you never liked him for him to like you back, not then and not now, but it felt good to believe that somewhere, he felt the same desperate, pathetic love that you did, that somewhere, he was different with you the way you were different with him, that he too lost his cool and common sense when it came to you.
“what?” he frowns and you sigh, “please don’t lie to me jimin, just tell me who she is and why you never told me that she was your girlfriend.” you choke back the sobs building in your throat, and jimin immediately leans towards you, “hey, hey, what girlfriend are you talking about? i don’t have a girlfriend.”
you laugh bitterly through your tears, “so, you’re calling your baby niece a liar?”
“arin? what did she say?” he continues to frown, seemingly growing more confused by every passing second, which only makes you more confused, “that ana is your girlfriend? she’s always at your place?”
“ana? oh!” and jimin throws his head back on the seat, eyes closing in what you thought was relief, “ana is her new babysitter, y/n,” you huff out in annoyance, “believe it or not jimin but i’m not as stupid as you think i am, how fucking convenient is it that a woman your niece calls your girlfriend, turns out to be her sitter.”
and he gapes at you before throwing his arms up, “i’m sorry that the truth is convenient and fits with the situation!” he yells back at you and you glare at him, “oh really? then why is she over when you’re there with arin already? why does arin think she’s your girlfriend? do you have an explanation for any of that?”
“i do, but only if you’re willing to at least hear me out,” and jimin is back to calm, back to zen, and you want to push him out of the car, “see, i know it sounds bad if she just mentioned the girlfriend part but i’ve told you, arin is shy, she never talks to anyone, she doesn’t like sitters, she takes a lot of time to get used to strangers so i’m a buffer until she gets used to ana so, that ana can just babysit her at my brother’s place instead of mine.”
you narrow your eyes at him as you process his words. unfortunately, it made a lot of sense, sunoo was the same, that is why you always babysat him.
“okay, then why call her your girlfriend?”
“because she thinks friends if they’re girls are girlfriends,” he sighs out and you purse your lips, that also made sense, especially with kids as young as sunoo and arin.
“i see.” you whisper back, not knowing how to feel about all this, it made sense, you should be over the moon, falling into his arms, telling him that you feel everything again, that you like him again but you freeze instead.
you were so ready to move on.
you were so ready to never see him again.
and you were so ready to never know his response, to never know what he felt.
but you are here, in front of him, as he waited for you to speak with anxious eyes and you only felt overwhelmed.
“okay.”
“okay?”
“thanks for explaining, if you get off, i will go now,” you keep your eyes on the road ahead of you, refusing to look at him even through your periphery.
“seriously? do you need time or is something else wrong?” you hear the pleading in his tone, the desperation, you wonder if you ever sounded like that to him.
“nothing’s wrong, i’m glad you explained, and now, i’d like to go home,” this always happened, whenever your emotions got too much, whenever it seemed like everything would fall on your head and crush you, you slipped into robot mode, where you refused to feel anything, where you refused to be human, where your feelings were nothing but dust in the air.
it’s how you never went back to a boyfriend, how you never begged anyone for anything and it kept you protected.
“why are you doing this?” but god, the crack in his voice might just break your resolve.
“doing what, jimin? i just want to go home,” you try to reason and he huffs in annoyance, “that’s not what this is, you aren’t even looking at me.”
and you pause.
take a deep breath.
look at him.
and the warmth you missed for all your teenage life, lights you up, beyond his frown, his gathering tears, his clear sadness, his warmth peeked through and stared straight at you.
you knew you had to go, leave before you couldn’t but where will you go?
how many times will you turn your back on yourself?
how many chances do you have left with jimin?
and will he ever take those chances the way you will?
“you’ll never like me, jimin,” you start, unwilling but forcing yourself to pull through, he opens his mouth to protest and you cut him off, “you’ll never like me as much as i like you.”
and his mouth falls shut.
“and i’ll always know that, i’ll always know that you like me less than i like you, that you hated me at a time when i would’ve done anything for you, and by some miracle, it’s changed now, you might like me but never as much as i like you, my past of loving you as a kid, will always haunt me, and your rejection then will always hurt me,” you have tears dripping down your chin by the time you’ve finished and you know it will only pain you more if you look at him so, you stare at your lap.
you wait for him to get off, to go away, to finally understand why you two would never work out.
“so, please let’s leave this be, i’ll continue to bring sunoo around for arin, we can be civil for them but whatever this is, i can’t do it, not with you,” you whisper, hoping that it was loud enough for him to hear but he stays eerily still, staring into nothing and you wonder if he didn’t hear you.
“jimin, can you-“
“what about me?”
“now you’re just being childish,” your anger rises again.
“no, i never got the chance to explain my side at all, what if i like you more? what if i liked you way before you did?” your heart stops in your throat at his words but you shake it off, “this isn’t a competition, jimin!”
“fine, then this should just be a casual question, when did you start liking me? in school, when did it start?”
“seriously? what are you trying to prove here?” you turn to fully face him with a scowl.
“just tell me.” he sits just as rigid, just as fed up, and it only irritates you even more but your face goes red nonetheless at the memory, “ball room scene, dance practice.”
“i liked you when you gave me the script,” and you want to look away, ignore all of what he says but you only lean in further and he leans in too as if letting you in on a secret that no one else knows, “i remember exactly how stomach-bottoming it felt, how scared i was because i thought you would never like me back.”
“really?” you’re leaning in even closer, so much more desperate to every other secret of his.
“really, and i’m not saying this because it’s a competition, i’m saying this because i couldn’t then, i didn’t have the courage, i liked you so much that the thought of you rejecting me, it would’ve killed me,” he laughs, both amused and horrified at the truth spilling out from his lips, but you see the fear too, the restrain in his breath, and it makes your own shoulders fall.
“then why did you act so annoyed whenever someone teased you?” you whisper again, embarrassed to ask the question because it made you feel like a kid again, the same kid who hid her feelings to make sure that he wasn’t inconvenienced by your heart.
he drops his head in quiet laughter, “imagine you like this person so much that your whole body fails you, and there’s some idiots making it even harder for me to look you in the eye,” he looks up at you as he says it and your spine weakens to fall on the seat behind you, every word of his puncturing itself into your heart.
jimin copied your movements and fell back too, sighing out, “i also knew how annoying it could be for you so i thought if i acted like that for a while, they would forget but fuck, they were persistent. honestly, i thought you would figure it out because of them.”
“figure out what?” you are breathless by the time the question escapes you.
“your crush was never one-sided, y/n, but mine was, at least for a little while.” you blush, not knowing what to do with your face anymore, you didn’t know if you were smiling or frozen or frowning but the numbness, the blind excitement left you gasping.
and jimin purses his lips, “i might’ve been this bright kid who talked to everyone then, but none of that helped me when it came to you, it was like every bit of confidence i had fell from me when i was around you and it was alarming, you know, it was so fucking scary to feel so different because of one person.”
and there it was.
the confirmation.
that he was different with you, that he too lost his head with you.
“what about later? when we met again?”
“oh that, i was trying to be cool, it didn’t work, right?” he winced and you couldn’t help the laugh bubbling out of you, “nope, not at all.” and jimin bangs his head against the headrest and you sit there, smiling.
it was strange, the elation and frustration you felt, it was strange to sit next to jimin and hear the words from him that you’ve waited for forever.
but you won’t hold that over him anymore and you were done burying your heart.
“i like you,” you say, twisting to face him and he smiles, not bothering to hide it, “a lot, jimin, i liked you then, i like you now, a lot and i’m scared.”
he leans forward to take one of your hands into his palms, you melt your fingers into his skin, and he speaks with a smile and with the world’s confidence and fear, “i like you, i’m sure that like is love too, it’s always been there and i’m scared too.”
“but i like you and i’ll continue to do that while i’m scared.” and any worry you had, flies out the window.
you feel brave.
you feel like you could fly and never see the ground again.
you stare at him for a minute or two, until his face is in your head like it’s your own face and you cross the barrier, in this case, the handbrake in your car to climb into his lap and you shiver when he buries his face into your neck.
you loved him when you didn’t know what it meant, and jimin loved you before he ever knew his heart could feel so much.
and that was enough for you to smile into his hair and wrap your arms tighter around his neck.
“i’ll do the same, jimin.”
-
jimin felt heavy with the love in his heart, with his arms on your waist, with his fingertips touching your skin, he felt overwhelmed, a bit crazy, and definitely scared out of his mind.
this was it.
the performance.
after today, you probably wouldn’t even look at him again, he’ll probably be just another guy who sees you walk down the hallway.
he knows when this funny feeling in his heart started, you had passed him the script and walked right past him to teach someone else how to do their scenes, and instantly he saw you, he saw nothing but you.
being the loser he was, he messed up any scene he could so that you could walk over, glare at him, and then, help him endlessly, help him until he was perfect (which he already was).
and he was alone in that pathetic-ness, alone in that feeling until one day, you looked at him as if he hung the stars in the sky and he didn’t know what to do with himself since that day.
but he had you in his arms, he had you in front of him, he had you in every moment of being on the stage and he knows he can’t just get off.
“and…cut!” jimin deflates, his arms that were so sure of holding you, weaken and fall from you.
then, the lights die and his confidence dies, and he feels ashamed of himself, so much so that he leaves the stage immediately.
he hears the cheers, the screams, the applause but none of that matters when the words he’s wanted to say die inside of him.
but he stops below the stage, looks up to see you hugging everyone on the stage, and hates himself a little but charges forward.
Are you able to recommend some of your favorite Jimin fics? I enjoyed reading the fics you made of Jimin and I need to read some more but I can’t seem to find anything 😫
hiii angel ✨ first and foremost, thank you very very much for reading my jimin fics 💖 the only two good fics i remember reading are into it by @xpeachesncream & 100 km/hour by @chateautae 🤗
tbh i don't read a lot of jimin fics but i've seen that @mikrokookiex did a rec list & maybe @rpwprpwprpwprw did something too, i'm not a 100% sure but in any case, she also recs a lot of good fics 💖
y/n doesn't know how to be petty & jealousy is not a good look on jimin
➺ pairing; park jimin x reader // balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!y/n
➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!! i think there’s a fairly good balance of honk honk humour and angst and fluff in here but i could be wrong!! seulgi (once again) is a pot-stirrer and you can either love her or hate her for it!! jungkook’s cute and is a really good dance partner!!
➺ wordcount; 12.1k
➺ summary; surprisingly enough, both y/n and jimin are great at acting unaffected by their devastating breakup — it’s only when they’re reunited two weeks later in class that their nonchalant, callous composures begins to crack.
➺ what to expect; “i just think the respectable move is to wait until we’re done learning, mr. park. or would you like to continue wasting everyone’s time by singling out jungkook and i just because you’re clearly in a sour mood for no reason and seem to be enjoying using us as your emotional punching bags?”
➺ currently playing on cee.fm; need you now — lady antebellum
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
the feeling of your phone buzzing rapidly against the mattress is the thing that rouses you from yet another restless night of sleep
you kept waking up every few hours and every time you woke up you’d be awake for at least another hour before dozing back off
you’re pretty sure you fell asleep close to six in the morning and according to the clock on your bed stand it’s already 1:30 but somehow you still feel so, so groggy despite getting seven and a bit hours of sleep
you peel an eye open reluctantly, staring at the bright vibrating rectangle for a few seconds before you drag your arm up lazily to grab it because something crazy must be happening if the group chat is chirping away like this
you’ve had your phone on do not disturb for the past week (except for the few times lisa clearly hit the ‘notify anyway’ button to get your attention) so you’ve kind of been out of the loop but being present and a functioning member of society isn’t exactly the first thing on your mind
people are right when they say time just melds together when you’re going through a breakup because you honest to god do not even know what day of the week it is
“okay, what’s going on…” you mutter to yourself, voice thick with sleep as you roll over onto your back and bring your phone up to your face to unlock it
it takes you a couple of tries to get into your phone because of how bright the screen is and you curse before resorting to typing in your passcode with fumbling fingers instead
you haven’t been on your phone too much because… well, you’ve just not really been in the mood to do anything but rot in bed all day with the curtains drawn — and not to mention, every time you’re on your phone you’re just waiting for a text or a call or literally anything from jimin but unsurprisingly it’s been complete silence on his end
you’ve mostly been ordering takeout and also you’re pretty sure you went the whole day without drinking water yesterday, so all in all, it doesn’t seem like you’re handling this very well
what makes things worse is that you have class today and it’ll be approximately a week since you last saw jimin and the two of you officially ended things and seven days is simply not enough recovery time — you haven’t even accepted the fact that you can no longer call him your boyfriend and that you have to call him your ex-boyfriend now (and teacher, but it’s not like that’s anything new)
i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck this has been.
jimin’s words ring loudly in your head and you feel your eyes starting to well with tears for the trillionth time in a row as you mindlessly scroll through all the notifications that have been marinating on your phone for the past seven days
the only thing you’ve been able to focus on is replaying that last conversation with jimin in your head and it’s driving you up the wall
i never said i was ashamed to be with you, jimin.
you never had to say it for me to see it.
“god…” you mutter, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose in a poor attempt to stop the tears from flowing
you haven’t been able to stop thinking about jimin and what makes it harder is the fact that you can’t talk about this with anyone without exposing yourself and jimin
and as much as you love lisa, you know that if you told her she would of course be concerned about you but would also have a million questions for you and you’re just not in the mood for an interview at the moment
another thing you’ve been thinking a lot about is what would’ve happened if you grabbed the phone and called lisa when jimin told you to call your friends and tell them the truth
would he have stayed?
was that really the proof that he needed to show him that you wanted to be with him?
would that have fixed everything?
you’d still have to hide your relationship — the only difference that telling your friends would make is that mr. park would be accused of playing favourites and knowing a few of the chatterboxes in class, word would spread very fast and it probably wouldn’t take long until you get an email from the dean asking you and jimin to come and speak to him
and then either jimin would get fired or you’d be expelled and both those options sound like hell
with that being said, wasn’t it an incredibly unfair move on jimin’s part to ask you to do that for him?
what if you’d asked him to call the dean to tell him that you two were together?
given the circumstances, wouldn’t jimin be hesitant to do it as well???
well, you suppose in your scenario it’s a little less high stakes because you’d just be telling a close friend, but still… you did the right thing, didn’t you?
it was irresponsible of both you and jimin to enter into a romantic relationship when you guys are teacher and student, and you had to put an end to it before the truth eventually came out and tore the two of you apart
this was the right thing to do
now jimin can continue teaching, and you can continue learning at this very prestigious dance academy that you worked very hard to get into
plus mom and dad would probably kill you if you got expelled over something as scandalous as this
sometimes doing the right thing feels bad! and it’s okay that you feel very, very bad at the moment, because feeling bad is just a normal part of the human experience.
you let out a huff of frustration, rolling onto your back as you look up at the ceiling
…but how do you know if you did the right thing or not?
you let out a slow exhale, shaking your head as you bring your phone back up to look through all your texts
you can’t help but wince a little looking through all your missed notifications throughout the week
most of your texts are from lisa and you know she’s going to want some kind of an explanation of your disappearance
from: lisa [wednesday 9:08am] — are you okay? barely heard from you all week
from: lisa [thursday 6:23 pm] — ??
from: lisa [friday 10:32am] — y/n
from: lisa [friday 11:02am] — helloooooo some kind of indication you are alive please
from: lisa [friday 8:14pm] — okay well you’re still sending me tiktoks so ik you’re alive
your thumb goes tired from scrolling through all of lisa’s texts and you finally reach the end to see that she texted you a few minutes ago
from: lisa [1:22pm] — are you coming to class today?
your fingers pause slightly as you think about how to respond and how to act casually about the fact that you’ve been a ghost for the last week
to: lisa [1:34pm] — yes!! i’m coming
to: lisa [1:34pm] — SORRY i haven’t been responding to your texts, social battery’s been weirdly low and feeling blegh bc period but i’ll see you today mwahaha
unsurprisingly, lisa doesn’t take too long to respond because she’s always on her phone and it’s never on do not disturb-
from: lisa [1:35pm] — hmmmm okayyy hope you’re feeling a little better at least? just glad ur alive! i’ll see u later ALSO read the group chat bc omg i’m dead
from: lisa [1:35pm] — mr. park
your stomach dips a little in anxiety at the mention of mr. park because the point of looking through your texts was to distract yourself from any thoughts of jimin, but then again, why are you surprised? the girls are obsessed with him and he’s always a hot topic in the group chat
one time he showed up to class wearing a pair of jeans that made his butt look really good and it was a topic in the group chat for like a week and a half straight
you switch over to look through the group chat, scrolling up the literal hundreds of texts until you get to what’s clearly the meat of the conversation
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — You guys aren’t going to believe what I heard
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — Rmb how I said I’m pretty sure Miss Im and Mr Park are like meant to be
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — Apparently they were out on a date this weekend
lisa [best ballerinas 🤍] — wtffff NO WAYYY wait where’d u hear it from
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — One of the guys from Miss Im’s class
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — He slid into my DMs after their performance 💅🏼 as he should 💅🏼 and then we were texting for a bit and he just told me that he saw them walking around downtown together lmfaooooo I totally called it
you don’t even bother reading the rest of the messages but through your frantic scrolling you manage to catch a message from seulgi teasing you directly about losing your precious mr. park and- “oh, just give me a break!” you groan obnoxiously, tossing your phone aside before flipping onto your stomach and letting out a muffled scream into your pillow
great!
good for them!
good for jimin, good for nayeon, good for the happy couple! you’ll have to make sure to ask jimin if you’re allowed to bring a plus-one to their wedding and what colour they want to paint the nursery for the child they’re going to have who’ll undoubtedly be the cutest baby on the goddamn planet-
the thought of playing hooky and calling in sick so you don’t have to go to class crosses your mind briefly, but then you remember that in order to do that, you’d have to call mr. park to let him know (one time, lisa asked jisoo if she could let him know that she wouldn’t be in class because of a bad cold, and both lisa and jisoo ended up getting mildly scolded because why are you asking your classmate to talk to me for you, and why are you talking to me on behalf of your classmate?) and needless to say, the last thing you need is to talk to jimin and pretend like the only problem you have is that you’re not feeling well and you don’t think you can come to class today
and not to mention, with this new piece of information of him and miss im going out on a date over the weekend, you don’t want him thinking that he won the breakup because you’re so heartbroken that the only thing you can do in stay in bed and cry (even though technically that’s what you’ve been doing all weekend, but whatever) — as heartbroken as you are, you’re just as stubborn so you will be going to class and you’re going to try your absolute best to keep it together… you have to.
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
jimin splutters after splashing icy, ball-shrivelling cold water onto his face, blindly fumbling for the towel in his duffle bag before using it to pat himself off
he looks at himself in the mirror, leaning closer and reaching up with a finger to pull at the bags under his eyes
the last time he had bags this bad was when he would stay up all night rehearsing for his own exams
there’s not enough concealer in the world to hide the bags he has now
needless to say, this breakup has completely destroyed him and this is the first time he actually has no idea to conduct himself after ending things with someone
he’s had flings and short relationships all throughout high school, undergrad, and even at the academy, and it usually only takes him a few weeks to fully flush his ex out of his system, but he can already tell that this breakup is nothing compared to those ones
sure, he was sad after his breakup with nayeon and couldn’t even force himself to get over her for much longer than he’d anticipated, but that was then and this is now — and now, he can fully say that the breakup with you is one of the most devastating things to ever have happened to him
he’s been so out of it all week that he even ordered pizza for himself on friday night instead of digging into his usual meal of [insert choice of lean protein here], roasted vegetables and brown rice… a family sized pizza
a family sized pizza!!! a pizza for an entire family!!
the only time he went out this week was saturday afternoon when nayeon texted him to ask him if he wanted to go out for coffee and also to discuss what they wanted to do for their conjoined class today
and to be honest, jimin barely remembers what they talked about that day and he’s hoping that nayeon will carry them both through today’s class because mr. park is just not mentally here at the moment
to be honest he’d kind of been dreading coming to class (can you blame him?) and he considered calling in sick and cancelling class today, but if he cancelled today, that’d mean he’d have to have an extra makeup class next week and- well, he can’t avoid seeing you forever
it’s just that he doesn’t even know if he can look you in the eye after you basically showed him that you don’t want to be with him
it’s embarrassing
he’s heartbroken and humiliated and hurt and you’re basically the only thing that’s been on his mind this whole week
admittedly it was a little selfish of him to demand you to call your friends to tell them that you were dating him
it was an unfair move on his part and he knows he acted out of emotion, but… well, he just wished that you fought harder to keep him, that’s all
and it’s true that he always felt like you were slightly embarrassed to be with him — he was never afraid to hold your hand in public and act like a normal couple but it was always a little upsetting to turn and see you cowering down or hiding behind a pair of sunglasses or baseball hat or something to conceal your identity
he knows that you only did it to protect the both of you from being exposed, but you didn’t have to hide yourself all the time
you guys couldn’t even go to restaurants without you quietly requesting for a table at the very back to avoid being seen by anyone passing by
maybe this breakup was for the best, now that he’s had a week to think about it…
sure, his relationship with you was one of the best he’s ever had and he’s pretty sure he’s head over heels in love with you and would 100% say it back if you said it to him, but hey! he’ll get over it one day
you’re his student, he’s your teacher — it was inappropriate from the start and it was irresponsible of him to pursue anything with you, so this breakup was a good thing
it never would’ve worked out in the end, and it’s better that it ended sooner or later
this was just a lesson from the universe that he had to learn, and yes, it was a very hard lesson, but he’s always been good at learning and he’s just going to take this as a sign to not get involved with another one of his students ever again!
it was silly of him to think that it would ever work out in the first place, anyway, so if anything, he should be able to move on and move on fast
easy peasy
“easy fuckin’ peasy.” jimin clears his throat quietly, running his damp fingers through his hair as he looks at his reflection in the mirror from side to side, “i’m park fuckin’ jimin. top of my class, aced all my exams, youngest and most sought after teacher at this academy,” he puffs his chest out slightly, nodding to himself as he feels his confidence coming back to him
he’s mr. park, he knows he’s hot shit!
he doesn’t need you to feel complete
he doesn’t need you at all
he hears the voice in his head let out a laugh of disbelief followed by an all-knowing alright, keep lying to yourself if this is how you’re planning on coping with this breakup and immediately shuts it out before bending down to grab his duffle bag, swinging it over his shoulder before putting a pair of thick-rimmed, square framed glasses on
he forget to order more of his contacts over the weekend so he’ll have to wear his stupid dorky ass glasses today (the memory of you telling him how much you love it when he wears his glasses flashes in his mind and he shuts it out as best as he can, but the thought of getting you flustered today in class with these glasses makes the corner of his mouth twitch in a cocky smirk.)
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“wow, look who’s alive!” you jolt in surprise when lisa slings an arm around you from behind, leaning her head against yours with a grin as the two of you continue walking towards the main doors, “period cramps are brutal this month, hey?”
“yeah, it’s been- ha, not great, you know how it is-“ you press your lips together in a tight smile as you pop your airpods back into the case so you can give your friend your full attention, “sorry i… barely texted you all throughout the week, i’ve just- um-“ you clear your throat quietly, pausing for a second to think about what excuse to give lisa
you feel awful for lying to her about all of this because you know that lisa would never be upset or angry with you and is only here to help you because she’s your friend, but still… the wound is a little fresh at the moment so lying will have to do
because if you rip this bandaid off right now and she gives you that sympathetic head tilt and shoulder droop and big sad eyes combo, you are 100% not going to be able to make it through this class without completely losing your mind and you are certainly not about to burst into tears in front of your classmates
“you’ve just what?” lisa nudges your side to get your attention and you look over at her, your mouth still hanging open with no fake excuse sitting on the tip of your tongue
you’ve never really been good at thinking of things on the spot
you’ve also never been good at lying so there’s that to consider as well
“i just… i don’t know! weird mood. one of those weeks, you know?” you shrug weakly, lisa’s brow raising slightly before she purses her head and nods slowly
“no, that’s okay! i was just worried about you, that’s all. but you… know you can talk to me about anything, right?” she holds the door open for you and you offer her a meek smile, swallowing the lump in your throat as the two of you head towards the changing rooms
“yeah, i know.” you respond quietly, choosing not to say anything else after that even though you know you’re acting very suspicious and you have a feeling lisa knows you’re hiding something from her
“you excited for class today?” she changes the subject swiftly and you immediately nod even though you have no idea what’s happening in class today, “i’ve been buzzing about it all week. miss im’s boys are so fine.”
“they’re- oh, we have the, uh- they’re coming to our class today, right? we’re, like, pairing up with them or something like that, right?” you clear your throat, opening your locker door up before sitting down on the bench to take your sneakers off, “yeah, they’re all very nice to look at. that jungkook guy is nice, i follow him on instagram.”
“oh, jungkook is- mmph-“ you can’t help but giggle when lisa bites her fist, “he’s more than very nice to look at. you should ask him out. he was making googly eyes at you at mr. park and miss. im’s performance.”
the reminder of that night immediately kills the vibe and you feel your mood drop, but you focus on taking your socks off instead of thinking about i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of-
the sound of lisa’s locker door slamming shut snaps you out of it and you turn to see that she’s already fully dressed and ready to go with her water bottle in one hand and her phone in the other, “you want me to wait for you?”
“you can go in first! i’ll be a while, i-“ you look down at yourself and your sweatpants, letting out a breath because you’re already exhausted and changing into a leotard is no easy feat, “i still have to change and then i have to pee and stuff, but i’ll see you in there.”
as soon as lisa leaves, you feel yourself slump as you lean over with your elbows on your knees, your mind immediately spacing out
you are not mentally here right now and you don’t know how you’re about to go through a two hour class where the main thing you have to do is focus otherwise you get in trouble for it
“it’s a guy.”
you immediately perk up when you realise you aren’t alone and you turn to look over your shoulder, your brows knitting together in confusion as you blink up at seulgi before looking back down at your duffle bag quickly and pretending like you were in the middle of going through it, “what are you talking about? and how the hell did you get in here so quietly??”
“it’s a guy. am i right?” seulgi sighs, ignoring your second question (though you are genuinely curious how she managed to come in without you noticing, or maybe you’re just really really checked out that you didn’t notice her at all) and plopping herself down on the bench next to you before crossing one leg over the other and crossing her arms over her chest, “that’s why you’ve been acting so off all week.”
“what are you on about?” you snort, though you can’t help but think to yourself how true it is that women are very intuitive when it comes to pretty much anything but especially when it has something to do with men
and seulgi is the best at figuring things out — especially when it comes to things that are literally none of her business like this!
“you’ve been weirdly civil with me over text when you usually bite back with something.” she raises her chin slightly, her gaze never leaving your face, “you never just sit there and take it.”
your eyes flicker slightly and you find yourself unable to look seulgi in the eye for more than two seconds before looking away, and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle when she gives you that one look that screams i’m not going to stop pestering you until you tell me what drama you’re swept up in
“what makes you think that me being civil has something to do with guy problems?” you blurt out, your cheeks starting to grow pink out of anxiety because now you know that seulgi’s onto you, “also, we rarely text and talk outside of class except for when we’re out with the other girls for brunch or something. why do you care about my texting style all of a sudden?”
“well, you didn’t deny anything.” seulgi points out, and your hand immediately freezes in your bag upon the realisation that yeah, you didn’t deny anything and seulgi is definitely onto you and is also definitely right because you definitely are going through guy problems right now
but how much can you trust seulgi? you haven’t even told lisa who is arguably your best friend in the class and also the entire world
“we aren’t friends, seulgi. you don’t have to pretend like you care.” you mutter, voice wavering slightly as your eyes begin to brim with tears because this is the first time someone’s asked you if you’re okay in person and clearly you’re an emotional wreck if seulgi is the one asking and it’s making your eyes tear up
keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, you remind yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you pull your leg warmers on and quickly reach up to wipe a rogue tear away before seulgi sees you crying
“so it is a guy.” seulgi hums, nodding her head to herself before clicking her teeth, “knew it. is it someone we know? was it a hookup? long time situationship? did he ghost you? have you been secretly dating someone this whole time and you just got dumped by them?”
all the blood drains from your face as you turn your head to look at seulgi with wide eyes (nearly snapping your neck in the progress), your lips parting before you quickly shut then and turn back to pull your slippers on
seulgi’s eyes widen before she blinks rapidly
no way
this whole time you’ve been dating someone?!
to be honest seulgi’s always thought you were a massive prude who would crumble at the sight of a couple holding hands in public so this is actually a pleasant surprise for her
“no fucking way!” seulgi delivers a harsh slap to your shoulder and you press your lips together, your eyes fluttering shut because fuck, the jig is up and now you have to confess to your sins to someone who cannot be farther away than good and holy, “oh my god. y/n y/l/n, you sneaky, sneaky girl. who?!”
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“are those new leg warmers?” lisa looks over at you as you stretch beside her, and you look down at your brand new (grey, with little thunderclouds on them) leg warmers before nodding, “yet another pair for your already extensive collection…”
“well, what can i say?” you chuckle, reaching down to smooth them down a little before shrugging, “i wasn’t gonna get them, but retail therapy always makes you feel better when you’re feeling like shit.” you blurt out, looking up slightly when you realise that saying retail therapy implies that something happened in which you need to make yourself feel better
…
“retail therapy? what on earth bugged you so much that you needed to buy something?” lisa snorts, pulling her hair up into a ponytail in the mirror
“probably just dealing with the fact that she knows she’ll never be as good of a dancer as i am.” seulgi butts in, letting out a sigh before shaking her head, “it’s okay, y/n. not all of us were meant for the stage.”
“thank you for the reminder, seulgi. you keep me humble.” you joke, giving her a soft smile and acknowledging her attempt at a distraction with a little nod — you ended up telling seulgi absolutely everything in the changing rooms (but not before triple checking that nobody was around to listen, because that would’ve been a disaster for sure) because… well, it was killing you having to hold everything in! and seulgi, believe it or not, was willing to lend an ear and actually listen for a change instead of blabbing her mouth off like the know it all she is
much to your surprise, seulgi told you that she wouldn’t tell anyone about this (to be perfectly honest, seulgi thinks it was kind of sick of you to break the rules and date your own teacher, because it’s very unlike y/n y/l/n to do something as taboo as that… she has a newfound sense of respect for you because she would probably also do the same thing if she was in your position because who in their right mind wouldn’t launch themselves full speed at the chance to date mr. park?? but she’ll never tell you that because she knows it would go to your head and you would try to become best friends with her and she’s pretty sure that your relationship works better when you’re frenemies who are constantly trying to one-up each other.)
“they’re a little… gloomier than what you usually get…” lisa giggles, reaching over to jab a finger into one of the thunderclouds, “still cute, though! and it matches the weather.” you turn to glance out the window, frowning at the sight of the dark grey clouds hanging in the air as the the windows tremble from the weight of chubby raindrops smacking against it rhythmically
the weather for the past week has been absolutely dreadful and definitely hasn’t made you feel any better, but you have to admit that it was kind of relaxing laying in bed all day listening to the sound of the rain
“well, the weather is shit, but what makes me feel better is knowing that in a few minutes this room is going to flooded in an ocean of hot testosterone-“ lisa wraps her arms around herself before shimmying her shoulders with a squeal, “aren’t you guys excited?! i don’t know why you aren’t more excited that we basically get a free pass to flirt with boys for the next two hours-“
“i’ve got my eye on seokjin,” ailee chimes in, “god, i would climb him like a goddamn tree.”
“you know who’s actually built like a tree? kim namjoon. you seen those thighs of his?”
“well, i’m gonna see if i can get paired with hoseok — i’ve seen him dance, he’s super good. he does hip-hop too, the man can do it all-“
“yoongi and i already spoke last time so i’m pretty sure we’re gonna hook up in class and also out of class-“
“you guys just stay away from taehyung, because i’ve been eyeing him for so long-“
“y/n, what about you?” you feel lisa nudge your back with her foot and you spin around on your bum to face the group, “well, i don’t think i need to ask you who you want to be paired up with.”
“you seem to be convinced that jungkook was making googly-moogly eyes at me but i’m telling you that he was just being friendly-“
“oh, well- yes, jungkook was definitely making googly-moogly eyes at you and i’m pretty sure he’s going to try to get paired up with you so don’t even worry about that- i was talking about mr. park!”
“wh- what?” your eyes widen slightly and you let out a nervous laugh, “i- what- what makes you think that i- why would i get paired up with mr. park?? that’s not even- that’s not even allowed, i don’t think a student is allowed to be paired up with a teacher for an exercise like this-”
“why are you getting all flustered??” lisa laughs, reaching over to pinch your thigh, “oh my god, i was just teasing you because of the fat crush you have on mr. park, i’m not actually saying you’re going to get paired up with him, dummy-“
“even if y/n was paired up with mr. park, she’d probably clomp all over his feet.” seulgi snorts, “besides, she- oh, shit-“ she immediately gets up and you turn to see jimin walk into the room, muscle memory forcing you up from the ground so you can stand with your feet in third position with your hands behind your back next to seulgi
you feel your heart racing in your chest as the familiar smell of his cologne wafts past you and you immediately look down when he walks past you
you just hope that no one can hear how hard your heart is pounding because you would’ve appreciated some kind of warning before jimin came into the room
you’re just going to keep your head down and stay in the back of the class for this lesson, and then you’re going to slip out with the girls at the end of class as quickly as you can
“good afternoon, ladies…” jimin greets lowly as he makes his way towards the front of the room, his voice slightly raspy from the complete lack of sleep he’s gotten
he drops his duffle bag on the ground as he looks out at the godawful weather, frowning slightly because no one’s responded to him and he thought he taught you guys better than that! it seems like two weeks without class has turned you girls a little sloppy…
“i said, good afternoon, ladies…” jimin tries again, emphasising his tone before turning around swiftly with a tilt of his head, leaning back against the counter with toned arms crossed over his chest, “what’s the matter, you guys forget your manners?”
“good afternoon, mr. park!” everyone fumbles to respond to his greeting, and you find yourself barely mumbling out a barely coherent ‘afternoon’ before continuing to stand in your spot obediently
“…alright, jesus, i don’t know what the hell that was-“ jimin scoffs, shaking his head with a mild expression of disgust on his face, “maybe it’s a good thing miss im and her students are coming over today so you can see how proper students are supposed to act!” he claps his hands together before reaching into his back pocket for his phone, “miss im will be leading the class today, i’m just gonna be hanging around the back as her co-teacher, but please do your best and try not to embarrass me in front of her students. she just texted me and let me know that she’ll be here on time, so just continue warming up until they get here…”
“someone woke up on the bitchy side of bed this morning. what do you think his problem is?” lisa mutters to you as the class disperses back into doing warm-up exercises, and you shrug with one shoulder and plop back down on the ground
“i bet i know.” seulgi snorts, and you shoot her a warning look before she smirks and sends a blowing kiss in your direction
you turn your head slightly to look over your shoulder, surprised to see jimin looking right at you before his eyes flicker and he quickly turns and looks down at his phone instead
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“now, the purpose of today’s class is just to familiarise yourself with dancing with a partner — after all, it’ll be one of the things you have to do during your exams at the end of the semester!” nayeon chirps, standing tall with her clipboard held close to her chest, “mr. park and i were dance partners, as you know… it’s also important to develop a bond with the person you’re partnered with. if there’s no bond, there’s no trust, no warmth, no chemistry, and all of that will be visible on stage through your dancing, so i cannot emphasise how important it is to really strengthen the connection you have with one another.”
“well, there’s more than one way to do that-“ taehyung mutters, the class breaking into a collection of snorts and giggles before going silent again when jimin gives them one of his signature unimpressed death glares
he’s barely spoken a word since nayeon and her boys came into the class ten minutes ago because that’s how mentally checked out he is
it’s actual torture having to be here with you standing across the room as if he doesn’t have a million questions lined up and ready to go
were you just lying when you said you loved him? did you know he was awake? did you do it on purpose to get him to become more attached to you??? did you date him so that you would be chosen for the nutcracker at the end of the year?!
he made brief eye contact with you earlier (he was staring at the back of your head and wasn’t expecting you to turn and look back at him) and he swore he was going to start tearing up when the two of you locked gazes which is why he had to look away so quickly
“i’ve paired you up randomly, so i’m just going to read your names off my list. when you hear your name, pair up with your partner and stand to the left side of the room and wait quietly until everyone’s been paired up,” nayeon clears her throat, looking down at her list, “lisa and taehyung, jisoo and seokjin, seulgi and namjoon…”
jimin resists the urge to blow his cheeks out and roll his eyes out of complete boredom as he stands next to nayeon with his arms behind his back, occasionally glancing down at her list to see how many people still have to be paired up
“-y/n and jungkook-“
he immediately perks up at the mention of your name, eyebrows furrowing when it’s followed by jungkook’s name because what the hell does nayeon mean by y/n and jungkook??
“oh, uh-“ jimin nudges nayeon’s arm, “you- you paired y/n up with jungkook? we, uh, did we… did we talk about that, or…?”
“what do you mean? i asked you if you had any preferences for partners and you told me to sort them out, don’t you remember?” nayeon whispers, using the tip of her pen to trace a line down her page before tapping right next to your name and jungkook’s name, “plus y/n’s clearly your strongest student, and jungkook is mine, so i’d like to see how they work together. i think they’ll work out quite well, they already seem to be pretty friendly with each other…”
“y/n and jungkook.”
you look up when you hear your name being called and you immediately look over at jungkook, offering him a shy smile when he beams and starts to make his way over to you
what a pleasant surprise!
you actually really like jungkook — sometimes he sends you memes on instagram or he’ll swipe up and respond to your stories, so the two of you have interacted more than a handful of times and you think he’s a pretty solid guy
and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t handsome (and it kind of gives you an ego boost knowing that he might have a teensy weensy crush on you)
“pst- make him jealous.” you hold back a yelp when seulgi suddenly burrows her fingers into your side and you turn to glare at her
“what?”
“make. him. jealous.” she enunciates through gritted teeth, eyes flickering over to jimin before she looks over at a smiley jungkook, “nothing wrong with being a little petty.”
“what- i’m not going to make him jealous, that’s not going to solve anything-“
“it won’t solve anything, but would it be so wrong to have a little fun to make yourself feel better?”
“seulgi, i don’t like being petty and- hi!” you turn your head and greet jungkook with a bright smile, letting out a chuckle afterwards, “nice to see you again.”
“likewise! i’m glad we got paired up.” he nods, standing a little closer to you as the two of you return your attention to the front where miss. im is in the middle of giving her tips for the girls
“try not to help your partner! you kinda just have to trust them — i know it’s very tempting because you know the combination and you know what step comes next, but the best thing to do is to just keep a strong core and focus on yourself! that way, your partner can- you know, kind of put you where you need to go. so, what we’re going to have you do for this exercise is, girls, you’ll make up a short combination, tell your partner what that is, and then immediately perform it on the spot.” miss. im turns to look at jimin, “so, mr. park, do you have any tips for the boys?”
“uh, i mean…” jimin purses his lips slightly, “use your palms, not your fingers. it wouldn’t feel good for your partner to have your fingers digging into their ribcages especially. also, you’ll be able to have more control when you’re using your palms instead of lifting with your fingers. just, uh… yeah, trust in your partner.” he nods, looking over at nayeon to signal that he has nothing more to add
god, he really is out of it today
“any volunteers?” nayeon purses her lips as she looks around the class, not surprised to see that majority of you are avoiding eye contact with her (it is pretty intimidating dancing with all of your peers looking at you and judging every move, but it’s something that all of you will have to do eventually), “alright, then i’ll have to choose, since no one is taking the initiative.” she chirps, smacking her palm flat against her clipboard before turning to look right over at you and jungkook, “jungkook, y/n — would you like to come up here and demonstrate for the rest of the class?”
you feel the hairs on your arm prickle in anxiety as you stand there for a second in silence, both you and jungkook exchanging glances before you turn back to look at miss im with a meek smile, “ah- yes, miss im.”
you were expecting everyone to break out and scatter around the room instead of immediately performing in front of the class, but you suppose everyone’s already warmed up and ready to go…
“bepetty.” seulgi coughs quietly, and you turn to see jungkook holding his hand out for you to take
“shall we?” he grins, clearly very confident in your guys’ ability to impress the whole class with your little routine, “don’t worry miss im, y/n and i will try our best not to completely amaze you with our routine, but no promises…” jungkook’s comment gets a couple of laughs and you giggle lightly before taking his hand and letting him lead you to the front
“that’s easy for you to say, i’m the one who has to come up with the routine-“ you add on, the corner of your mouth lifting in a knowing smirk when jungkook lets out a laugh and a nod
his hand feels quite warm in yours and your eyes widen a little when you feel his thumb rub over your skin soothingly
“do your best!” miss im smiles, flicking the main lights off and turning the spotlight ones on as you guys get to the front, “y/n, what combination will you two be demonstrating for your peers?”
ah, shit
“i….” you’ve never been good at thinking of things on the spot, and you can’t help but look over at jimin for a split second who seems to be shooting daggers right at jungkook as he stands leaning against the wall by the door, his arms crossed over his chest and his tongue poking against the inside of his cheek before he clears his throat quietly and rubs his lips together a couple of times
his eyes are lidded slightly and to be honest, if looks could kill, jungkook would be bleeding out on the floor right about now and you can’t help but feel a little pleased at the obvious fact that jimin doesn’t like that you were paired up with jungkook and definitely doesn’t like the fact that miss im chose you and jungkook to demonstrate in front of the class
“y/n?” jungkook elbows you slightly to get your attention and you clear your throat before standing up a little straighter, sorting through all the moves that you know and trying your best to come up with a quick routine on the spot
“oh! i, uh… okay, first, i’m gonna piqué attitude to the left, tombé… uh, double stepover, and then i’ll do… ah… i’ll do… échappé-echappe… passe-passe, i… suppose i’ll do a spin and then finish in arabesque?” you smile sheepishly, looking over at miss im and jimin for validation only to get a grunt from jimin and a pleased nod from miss im
that seems like a doable combination, right?
god, you hope so
lisa shoots you a thumbs up from the audience and you clear your throat quietly, taking a few steps back and waiting for your cue as miss im lowers the spotlights slightly
the last thing you see before the lights dim is jimin’s furrowed brows and clenched jaw and you press your lips together in order to suppress a grin
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“wonderful job, you two. impeccable!” nayeon claps her hands gently along with the rest of the class, a proud smile on her face as she nudges jimin with her elbow, “see, what’d i tell you? the two of them fit together like two puzzle pieces, don’t you think?”
“yep.” jimin licks over his front teeth in irritation when he notices the way jungkook’s hand lingers on the small of your back (a little too low for his liking, and if he was grading jungkook for an exam he’d immediately dock off a point for hand placement alone) as the two of you bow/curtsey at the front to thank your classmates for the applause and he feels his blood beginning to boil when he sees the shy little smile on your face and the blush spreading across your cheeks when jungkook whispers something in your ear
what the fuck is he saying to you that’s making your cheeks red??
“you have something you want to share with the class, jungkook?” jimin blurts out right before he can even process that he’s blurted something out, his hand instinctively reaching over to smack the main lights back on
the light switching back on so suddenly makes a few of you flinch and you reach up instinctively to shield your eyes, a little puzzled by what the problem is
jimin is completely unbothered as he looks at jungkook and tilts his head, “well? if you can whisper it to y/n, you can share it with everyone.”
you and jungkook exchange glances of confusion
“oh, i-“ jungkook stands up a little taller and jimin can’t help but feel drunk on power because of how intimidated he looks right now, “i just said that she did a really good job, mr. park, that’s all. a-and that she looks very pretty when she’s focused.”
“interesting. well, i don’t think that’s a very appropriate comment to make to your peer,” jimin responds immediately, shaking his head before looking over at nayeon, “miss im, you need to control your hormonal students-“
“woah, my boys aren’t the hormonal ones here-“ nayeon scoffs, and jimin’s eyes widen in offence at the dig at you guys even though he technically made the first jab (and also, nayeon’s probably right about that because he’s seen the way you guys look at him and has also heard many of things said about him), “and it’s perfectly fine to compliment a peer! maybe keep the second half of your comment for after class, but don’t listen to grumpy mr. park, you two — again, great job, you can go back to your spots.”
awkward, scattered applause makes its way around the room as you and jungkook return to your spots, and lisa gives you a look that says “what was that??? we’re definitely talking about this later” to which you respond with a quick shrug as you pass by her
“okay…” miss im clears her throat quietly, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle before flipping to the next page on her clipboard, jimin following close behind her as the two of them head back to the front of the room, “let me see… jisoo, seokjin, can you guys come up next?”
“i’m sorry if i- if i made you uncomfortable with my comment, y/n, i really didn’t mean to-“ jungkook whispers, and you shake your head quickly as you look up at him with a frown
“no, not at all! it was very sweet of you-“ you reassure him, reaching down to give his hand a squeeze, “really, it was very kind of you to say. and you did a great job as well- sorry i almost stepped on your foot when i-”
“oh, that’s- no, it was really all you, i basically just followed you and made sure to spin you and stuff-“
“jungkook!” jimin’s voice is crisp and it makes you stand straight up as you turn your head to look back at the front, “talking again while your peers are getting ready to perform up front?”
jungkook’s face turns bright red and he shakes his head quickly, “i- no, sir, i’m- i wasn’t-“
“i talked to him first, so if you’re going to bark at someone, you should do it at me-“ you raise your hand to get jimin to look over at you before giving him a casual shrug, “my bad.”
“‘your bad’?” jimin repeats with air quotations, narrowing his eyes at you and almost daring you to continue speaking to him in such a casual tone when you know he’s made it very clear how important it is to speak to him formally when it’s class time, “well, is there something that you’d like to share with the class since it was so important you had to speak to jungkook about it right now?”
“just that he did a fantastic job and he looked incredibly handsome doing it,” you chirp, maintaining a smile on your face, “i also said that we did completely amaze everyone with our routine because i guess we just fit together so, so well and- well, the second half of my comment, i’ll say to him when the two of us are outside of class, as miss im suggested.”
your comment doesn’t get any snickers, which isn’t a surprise considering the fact that everyone is probably terrified of how angry jimin looks — but honestly, you have no idea why he seems to be picking on you and jungkook but you have a feeling it has something to do with the breakup
and when you think about that, you can’t help but get more infuriated because can’t he see that he benefits from you breaking up with him?! now he’s free to date whoever he wants to date
like he said, he can be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck the two of you were in
not to mention, you haven’t brought your personal feelings into the situation the same way he has (this is a lie, you are definitely acting on your emotions right now but the denial is slathered on thick today) so what makes him think that he has the right to treat you and jungkook like shit just because he’s all pissy?!?!
“i’d like to pull y/n out to talk to her for a moment.” jimin immediately turns to look at naeyon with his hands behind his back, nayeon frowning as she looks back and forth between him and you, “now please, miss im. we won’t be long.”
“well, can you wait until we’re done?” you pipe up, and that gets you a little stomp on the toes from seulgi because now you’re just doing too much but the rage that’s building inside of you from having jimin clearly picking on both you and jungkook is becoming unbearable, “i just think the respectable move is to wait until we’re done learning, mr. park. or would you like to continue wasting everyone’s time by singling out jungkook and i just because you’re clearly in a sour mood for no reason and seem to be enjoying using us as your emotional punching bags?”
the silence is almost palpable, both you and jimin glaring at each other from across the room as everyone stands silently, awkwardly, because what the absolute fuck is going on right now?
jimin’s eyes have gone completely dark and if it weren’t for the fact that he used to be your boyfriend, you would probably be terrified for basically cussing out your teacher in front of the whole class — but the scale feels balanced now because the current conversation taking place doesn’t seem at all like a mr. park vs miss. y/l/n interaction… this is a jimin vs y/n interaction.
“leave this classroom right now.” jimin says through gritted teeth, his voice eerily low and quiet as he continues staring at you without a single blink, “right fucking now, y/n.”
“no problem.” you snap, swiftly moving your way through the crowd and heading straight for the door, your fists clenched at your sides
you let the door slam shut behind you, angry tears beginning to brim at the edges of your eyes as you storm down the hallway towards the changing rooms so you can get your bags and go home
you shouldn’t have come to class today — you knew that seeing jimin would be too much for you and now look at where it’s gotten you!
openly disrespecting jimin not just in front of the girls but also in front of miss im’s boys, which probably mortified jimin because he prides himself on how well-behaved you guys are whenever you’re paired up with students from another class… you have a feeling this isn’t going to end well at all.
the thought of being grilled not just by jimin but also the dean of the school sends a lightning bolt of anxiety right into you and your brain immediately begins to conjure up an email of what you’re going to say in your apology letter because that’s the type of student you are, not whoever you were just a second ago
you just couldn’t help yourself!! you’re running on an inconsistent sleep schedule and you haven’t been eating right and you’ve barely been drinking water and you’re sad about the breakup and mad at the circumstances and also feeling a little bit like maybe you acted too hastily in the first place and should’ve communicated with jimin about how you were feeling and what you were insecure about instead of diving head first into the whole crazy jealous girlfriend act and driving him away
and now it seems to be your ego and your pride standing in the way of making you turn around and just talk to jimin because walking away and accepting that this is just the way things are is the much easier option
“so stupid,” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear as your bottom lip starts to tremble
you’ve ruined everything
“hey, i didn’t say you could leave-“ you glance over your shoulder when you hear jimin’s voice as you continue making your way down the stairs, but you pick up your pace when you see him starting to follow you, “y/n, i swear to god-“
“i’m going home, i’m clearly not in the right state of mind to be here right now, mr. park-“
“oh, don’t give me that bullshit, y/n-“ jimin snaps, “i think you and i both know we’ve been avoiding each other but we need to talk because your behaviour today isn’t coming out of nowhere-“
“i’m sorry for talking back to you in class, but you were clearly picking on jungkook and i and i was so fucking over it-“ you swing the main door open, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum when you come to a sudden stop after seeing how heavy the rainfall is
you contemplate staying and waiting until the rain calms down a little but the thought of having to stay and talk to jimin is just a little too much for you at the moment
“it’s raining out and you don’t have an umbrella, you big baby-“ jimin changes the subject when thunder suddenly rumbles from outside, stopping at the top of the stairs to look at you, “what are you gonna do, walk in the rain?!”
“if that’s what i wanted to do, then i have every right to do so!”
you came here by bus and you know it doesn’t come for another twenty minutes, meaning that not only are you going to have to walk in the rain to the bus stop, you’ll also have to wait in the rain until it comes and that’s just a recipe for the nastiest cold in the entire world
and the thought of having to nurse a horrible cold and nurse your poor heart sounds like a nightmare
“y/n, i know you’re upset but you’re being irrational-”
“so what if i wanna walk in the rain?!” the emotional side of your brain takes over as you glare up at jimin before storming towards the doors, “i’m an adult, i can make my own decisions-“
“i know you are, and i know you can, but, y/n, please-“ jimin grabs the back of your arm right as you get to the bottom of the stairs and you immediately fling his arm away, “just talk to me, please-“
“about what?!” you adjust the strap of your duffle bag over your shoulder, “we broke up, it’s for the better, you’re my teacher and i’m your student and we never should’ve started dating in the first place because it never would’ve worked out anyway and-“ before you know it, everything is coming out of you and you can’t find a way to stop or control the words coming out of your mouth, “and i think maybe i shouldn’t come to class for a few weeks because it’s going to be weird and i can’t- i can’t be in the same room as you, jimin, it’s killing me-“
“it’s killing me, too-“ jimin admits softly, brown eyes glistening slightly underneath the lights, “i just- i can’t stop thinking about you, and i- baby, i- i miss you so much, you have no idea-“ your eyes immediately well with tears and you shake your head quickly as you take a few steps back, pushing the door open and stumbling out while unable to tear your gaze away from jimin’s, “please, we can figure something out, i know we can. i know i want to be with you, y/n, i don’t want anyone else, i just want you-“ his voice tremors slightly and he reaches out for you, “and i didn’t mean it when i called our relationship nothing, i was just hurt and- and angry and- i don’t even know why we broke up-“
“you should be with nayeon, she’s better for you and-“ you lower your voice slightly, “i know you went out with her over the weekend, so-“
“went out with her??” jimin gawks, almost letting out a laugh of disbelief, “we met up for coffee to talk about the lesson plan for today- don’t think i didn’t hear what everyone was muttering about before class, you guys need to cut the gossiping and- oh my god, y/n, is that what this is about?? you think i want to be with nayeon? we broke up for a reason, you- this is so incredibly frustrating, y/n, why can’t you just believe me when i say that i want to be with you?!”
everything that’s coming out of jimin’s mouth makes you feel ten times worse knowing that the two of you can’t be together
“this is why we need to sit down and talk about things, be honest and give each other our side of the story, because clearly something’s been miscommunicated and-“
“it doesn’t matter, jimin, at the end of the day, even if we talk about what happened we still can’t be together-“
“we can, we just- we can figure something out-“ the overwhelming reminder that you’ll have to tell the dean and all your classmates and face judgement and be gossiped about on top of the already overwhelming emotion of seeing and talking to jimin is just too much for you to bear, and you find your heart skipping more than a few beats out of anxiety because the only thing on your mind right now is to run away and hide from all of this
“i can’t be here, i have to go home, i can’t be here right now-“ you whimper, turning around to head into the rain, “you just- we can’t be together, jimin-“
“y/n-!” the last thing you hear before you sprint out into the dark, misty rain is the sound of jimin crying out for you and you can’t help but burst into tears, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs
run away run away run away run away
water splashes up and around you at every step you take, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you keep running down the sidewalk with your duffle bag flopping behind you wildly
this is too much
everything is just too much
you just need to go home and then everything will be fine
it doesn’t matter that jimin wants to work on things with you (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he wants to find a way to make things work (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he’s clearly stated that he wants to be with you and not nayeon (it does, because it reassures you and now you really know that jimin just wants you and you know that you just want him too) because all that matters is that everything is too much to handle and you feel like your head is about to explode
“so what am i supposed to do then?!” the sound of jimin’s voice down the street immediately makes you stop and turn around, and you’re glad that it’s raining like this to mask the tears streaming down your face
you aren’t surprised that he’s caught up to you, and you stand still as you look at him standing across from you, all the way at the end of the block, “what the FUCK am i supposed to do, y/n, huh?!” he yells, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pounding against his chest a few times, “you want me to stand here and act like i don’t love you?! like we never happened?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!”
“i…”
“tell me that’s what you want and i’ll leave it alone, y/n. all you have to do is tell me that this is what you want.” your feet are stuck in place as jimin jogs right over to you and you resist the very strong urge to look away from him again but he just looks so sad and you hate yourself for doing this to him
“it was wrong of me to pressure you to tell your friends about us the way that i did, i know that.” jimin nods, slicking his hair back with a hand, “i fucked up, and i’m sorry for doing that. but i meant it when i said i wanted to be in a proper relationship, y/n, because i want to be able to hold your hand in public, i wanna take you out for dinners without constantly feeling like we’re going to get caught, i- i want to show you off! i wanna show you off because i… i love you, y/n…”
jimin shakes his head in disappointment when your only response is to stand there, staring at him with wide, trembling eyes
he waits one, two, three seconds for you to say something, to say literally anything and he hates that you still have nothing to say to him
even if you said you didn’t want to be with him, that would be a better response than you just standing there staring at him
forget it
obviously you’ve made your answer clear, and now he knows that he was 100% more invested in you than you were in him
if you want him to pretend like he doesn’t care about you and that you’re just another one of his students, he’s perfectly capable of doing that
he was a little out of control today, but he’ll be able to manage it in future classes
the thought of transferring you to another teacher’s class briefly flits through his mind but he’s reminded by the fact that he’d have to talk to the dean about that and then the dean would have to ask why jimin wants to transfer you and that’d just be a whole thing
plus, the semester’s nearly over so pretty soon jimin won’t have to be forced to be in the same room with the woman he loves but he can’t say he loves
it’s going to fine
everything is going to be fine
he’s been broken up with before, and he’s picked himself up and has moved on
he can do this
“fine, y/n.” he scoffs to himself, turning on his heel to head back towards the building, “if that’s what you want, i can’t change your mind. i’m sorry. i won’t push it any further.”
“i was gonna talk to the dean!”
jimin stops in his tracks when you finally speak up, and he turns to look over his shoulder to see that you’ve taken one step forward but hesitating to come any closer to him like a scared baby deer
he doesn’t move, afraid that if he moves too quickly he might scare you off and stop you from what you’re about to say
“what?” he asks quietly, turning around to face you and relieved to see that you don’t seem like you’re about to take off again
“i was- i was gonna talk to the dean.” you repeat quietly before averting your gaze, “i’d made an appointment and everything, i was gonna talk to the dean about us because i- i love you… too.” you blurt out, looking back up at him, “i love you too, but i’m… scared.”
“scared of someone finding out?”
“well, that’s a pretty big chunk of it because i could get expelled and you could get fired, but i’m also scared because… the last time i felt this way about someone, they left me for their ex six months after we said i love you to each other.” you swallow thickly, feeling slightly ashamed and embarrassed to admit that about yourself since it’s not something you like to bring up, “i… if there is even a 1% chance of you and nayeon getting back together, i don’t want any part of it. and i know that’s unfair of me to say because life happens and i get it but-” you whimper, feeling your heart splinter at the reminder of how broken up you were over your previous relationship, “as much as i love you and i want to work on things with you, i don’t wanna be hurt again-“
“you won’t be, y/n-“
“you don’t know that-“
“but i do!” jimin drops to his knees, looking up at you from the ground as he keeps his hands firm on the sides of your thighs, “baby, i do know that- i don’t know what crazy rumour you guys cooked up but i’m not secretly in love with nayeon- i wanna be with you, please, please just give us a chance to make it work-“
“i’m still your student, jimin…” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe at your red eyes, “all of this doesn’t change the fact that you are my teacher and i am your student, and the both of us never should’ve started doing this in the first place-“
“i’ll talk to the dean about getting you transferred to another class, or- or i can transfer to another class- i will make it work, y/n, we can make this work.”
you chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously as you look down at jimin, jimin who you’re hopelessly in love with, jimin who you love waking up next to and falling asleep beside, jimin who wakes you up with kisses on the face and a mug of tea (you hate tea, you just drink it because it’s him), jimin who you know you want to be with because it’s been so long since you’ve felt so strongly and so surely about someone and… well, it’s jimin.
“okay.” you nod slowly, reaching down to cup his cheek gently before swiping your thumb against his skin, “okay, we can make it work. i wanna make this work, but i think the first thing we have to do is talk to the dean because i don’t know how much longer i can hide it from everyone-!” you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before jimin’s shooting up from the ground, pulling you in for a kiss as your duffle bag drops to the ground
“oh my god, i missed you so much, you have no idea how much-“ jimin murmurs against your lips, his arm looping around your waist to pull you in closer, while your arms sling around his neck and your fingers curl into the hair at the back of his head
“i missed you too-“ you laugh lightly, heart thrumming happily in your chest as you find yourself pressing closer into jimin’s familiar warmth, “we can make this work.”
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
(“are we going to talk about how you were basically bullying me and jungkook?” “…no comment.”)
🎙️ ask y/n where she gets her leg warmers (talk to my characters!)
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!)
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
warnings. coarse language, reader discretion highly recommended. contains death but no gore, mild horror, english is Not my first language ™
word count. 2.6k +
The library wasn’t Jimin’s usual haunt.
In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d willingly stepped inside one. He never liked the library ; it was so downright boring. He knew there were better things to enjoy in his campus which were much better than this — but with the cold wind biting at his neck and the campus quad too noisy for his liking, he had wandered in.
It was more like a distraction than a destination.
The heavy silence pressed against his ears as he slumped into a seat by the window, his chin resting on his palm. His table was empty — no books, no notes, nothing that might suggest he had any serious intentions of studying or anything closer to that.
He tapped his pen against the wooden surface in a lazy rhythm, watching the snowfall outside.
And that’s when his eyes landed on you.
You were seated at a table in the corner, your posture straight but not stiff, your eyes scanning the pages of a worn paperback intensely. A stray lock of hair fell across your cheek, but you didn’t brush it away. Instead, you stayed perfectly still, immersed in whatever story was hidden between the pages.
Unlike most of the students who filtered in and out of the library, you didn’t seem rushed or distracted. There were no frantic flips of the page or exasperated sighs of someone cramming for an exam. Your movements were deliberate, calm — too calm, even.
Jimin frowned, leaning back in his chair. You were familiar, though he couldn’t quite place why. Maybe it was because of your bag carelessly slung over the back of your chair. A model student, maybe? Or just someone who liked their own company?
He tilted his head, studying you like a puzzle he couldn’t quite piece together. He knew your name — although he feigned ignorance for the most part. There was a quietness about you that felt out of place — not just in the library, but in life itself.
Like you were a shadow passing through the world rather than living in it.
It bothered him, though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the way you didn’t fidget, didn’t glance at the clock or check your phone like everyone else did. Bothered him in such a way which had him narrowing his eyes at you, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Or maybe it was the faint crease in your brow, the kind that made him wonder if the story you were reading was actually that interesting.
Boredom forgotten, Jimin leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. He licked his lips, his teeth gently nibbling on the plump flesh. You fasicnated him enough to not feel himself being bored to death, so, he decided that he should try and do something which would entertain him further.
So he decides to sit just beside you.
“Aren’t you just always reading?” he grins, his voice just loud enough to carry across the quiet space.
Your eyes flicked up to meet his for the briefest moment, and something about the way they held his gaze made his breath catch. Then, without a word, you returned to your book, as if he hadn’t spoken at all.
Now that was something Jimin couldn’t ignore.
“Not even going to say hi?” he asked, leaning closer.
“Hi,” you said softly, not looking up this time.
To say Jimin was offended was an understatement. How can someone ignore Park Jimin?
That was it. He reached over and plucked the book from your hands, your lack of resistance or reaction slightly surprising him again. “What’s so special about this old thing?” The cover of the book is faded, the texture a bit rough with its corners frayed, but he doesn’t care about that.
What he cares about is riling you up.
But you just sit there, watching him with an expression so blank it’s almost mocking. “You can keep it if you want,” you say softly. “Tear it, throw it, do whatever. I don’t care.”
His eye twitched at the nonchalance of your tone. Were you doing this on purpose to piss him off?
“And why is that?”
“It’s not mine.”
Jimin blinks.
What?
“I saw you pull it out of your bag.”
Your gaze drops to your clasped hands. For a moment, you seem almost… thoughtful, as if the gears in your head are working overtime to formulate the reply.
“I took it from an accident site,” you reply.
What? except that it wasn’t just inside his head. If anyone would see him, his thoughts were visible on his face, just like how subtitles are, on the bottom of the screen.
“What?” His voice pitched and he felt his brows knit together.
You leaned back, tilting your head as if recounting a casual memory. “The person was already dead. Hit-and-run, I think. They were grasping it, so I took it.”
You say it in such a manner almost as if you are talking about the evening’s weather.
“What?” His grip tightened on the book. “You just. . . took it? Did you call anyone? Cops? Medics?”
“There were people already there,” you said with a shrug. “What was I supposed to do?”
What were you supposed to do!? Jimin stared at you, his pulse racing. “You could’ve. . . I don’t know!” Damn it. He definitely should’ve just attended the class which he felt like was important all of a sudden. There was a reason why he doesn’t ever visit libraries . “Done something instead of stealing a book from a dead person!”
You stood, brushing invisible dust off your coat. “I was planning to return it to their grave after I finished reading,” you said, your voice calm as ever. “But now it’s yours. So I guess that’s your responsibility.”
He gaped at you, his brown pupils shaking slightly. “No. No fucking way.” He held the book out as if it was some radioactive substance. Call him a lunatic, but he was already feeling it burn his hand. (Was he exaggerating? Maybe. But was he ready to accept the book for real? Fuck no.)
“I’m not keeping this!”
You smiled faintly, stepping away. “It’s already yours, Jimin.”
And then you leave, your footsteps barely audible.
Jimin found himself back in the library.
Not because he was bored. Not because he wanted to study — but because everything else was driving him nuts.
The book, Wuthering Heights, sat on Jimin’s desk back in his home like an accusation. He couldn’t bring himself to open it, no matter how hard he’d tried last night. Each time he felt his fingers itch to finally touch the book, his brain immediately imagined the lifeless hand that had clutched it last.
By nightfall, he couldn’t take it anymore. He drove to the cemetery, the book tucked under his arm, the cold slapping his skin like a belt.
Rows of graves had stretched before him, their names lost to time and shadow. He wandered between them, each step making him more impatient as he carried on. He felt like a halfwit. Who the fuck visits a cemetery to return a book? And why was he doing this?
He wasn’t scared of cemeteries by any means, but surely you don’t have balls of steel to be standing like a dumbfuck in the middle of a graveyeard at midnight without feeling anything. He didn’t even know what he was looking for — how could he?
He didn’t even know if the accident victim was buried here.
Fuck, he didn’t even know who was the victim in the first place.
He doesn’t exactly feel the most cheerful at the thought of so many lives being reduced to stones and dates.
Frustrated and uneasy, he’d left the cemetery, just wishing he’d never visited the library.
So the next day, he finds himself back in the library. He doesn’t know why — he could have just simply abandoned the book. Or just kept it under fate’s custody, because he surely 1) wasn’t a book nerd, 2) after knowing the source of the book, he definitely wasn’t interested in that book anymore.
Maybe he hopes to see you again, to demand some kind of explanation or even simply just return you the book. Only because he’s a decent human being and felt bad for leaving the book alone.
But you’re nowhere to be found.
“Shit,” Jimin muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair. He slammed the book down on the nearest table, earning a sharp glare from the librarian. He waved her off with a sheepish smile but didn’t bother lowering his voice. That damn thing on the table felt like it was judging him with each step he took.
“What the hell am I even doing here?” he grumbled, flopping into a chair, truly exhausted.
”Jimin?”
He turned, or well, craned his neck up to see Namjoon standing a few feet away, an eyebrow raised in that familiar mix of confusion and mild disappointment, but he doesn’t look surprised.
Namjoon was exactly the type of a guy you would very much expect to see in a library. If he wasn’t wrong, he was a literature student with an endless supply of opinions, known for yapping on about bullshit Jimin really doesn’t care about, he was the last guy Jimin would want to run into.
Atleast, not now.
Namjoon adjusted his glasses as he glanced at Jimin.
“Did the sun rise from the west today?”
“What?”
“What is Park Jimin doing in a library?”
“Ha-ha, how funny.” Jimin shot back, rolling his eyes. “I was just, well, . . . . never mind.”
Namjoon pulled out a chair and sat across from him, his gaze flicking to the book on the table. “No seriously, what’s going on? You look, uh, kinda constipated.”
Jimin let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back in his chair. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
Jimin exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he launched into the story. “Okay, so yesterday, I was in here, right? There was this girl. Very concentrated. She was just sitting there, reading this book.” He motioned to the paperback sitting between them on the table.
“And I thought, you know what, a conversation won’t harm anyone. But she seemed to not give a single fuck about me!” Okay, Jimin feels his cheeks slightly heating at the way he just said it.
Anyway..
“She didn’t even flinch. Just looked at me all calm and said I could keep it, tear it up, do whatever the fuck I want to.”
“Mhm,” Namjoon leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed.
“And then,” Jimin said, leaning forward as his voice dropped, making sure no one could hear them. “she tells me it’s not even hers. She said she found it, at a fucking accident scene. Like, a hit-and-run. She just took it. . . out of the dead person’s hands!”
Namjoon’s face paled, but Jimin didn’t notice. He was too busy rambling.
“And you just. . . took it?”
“I didn’t even want the damn thing!” Jimin snapped, jabbing a finger toward the table. “I don’t want my own course books. How the hell would I want a book which looks like something which was probably printed like what, centuries ago?”
“But she just dropped it on me. I thought, fine, I’ll go to the cemetery — because, apparently, that’s the only thing I could think of. But guess what? I don’t even know who it belongs to.” Jimin grits his teeth, taking in a cool breath. He cannot be losing his shit over a book.
“What was I supposed to do? Wander around like an idiot, asking no one in general if someone is missing a book?”
Uhh...
… . .
Okay.. was that too much?
Namjoon hasn’t replied. For someone who has a say in everything and anything, it feels strangely quiet to see the taller guy being absolutely quiet, and even a bit. . . pale.
“Joon?” Jimin frowned. “You look like you just got your balls kicked.”
Namjoon’s hand trembled as he reached for the book, but he didn’t pick it up. His voice was barely above a whisper, his pupils shaking woldly.
“Jimin... This book. Are you sure she gave it to you?”
Jimin throws a nasty glare his way, frustrated. “I’m fucking sure. She was right there.” He pointed to the seat by the window, almost as if pointing that way would have you sitting there once again. “Oversized sweater, baggy jeans, muddy boots. What the fuck do you mean?”
Namjoon swallowed hard, his eyes darting between Jimin and the book. Finally, he stood up, grabbing Jimin by the shoulders. His voice dropped low, steady but trembling at the edges.
“Jimin, listen to me. Do you remember when our lectures got canceled last month?”
“What?” Jimin blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in topic. “I don’t even remember what I had for dinner last night. How the fuck wouldd I remember about lectures?” Jimin scowled. “What does that even have to do with the current topic?”
“They were canceled because of her,” Namjoon said, his grip tightening.
“Y/N. She died in a hit-and-run.”
?
“What?”
“A car hit her right outside campus and left her to die.”
Jimin shook his head, stepping back, an unamused laugh escaping his throat. “That’s not, ha, hah — she was here yesterday, Namjoon. And I talked to her.”
Namjoon’s voice cracked, but he pushed forward, firmly gripping Jimin’s shoulders. “I saw her, Jimin. I was there. She was lying in the street, and — and she was holding that exact book.”
“I remember it because we checked it out from the library together. But when the paramedics came, the book was gone.”
Jimin froze, his gaze blurring. No fucking way in hell. His heart pounded as his mind scrambled to process what Namjoon was saying.
“No.” His voice was barely a whisper. “That just doesn’t make sense. Stop fucking with me.”
Namjoon’s expression was grim, his voice low and firm. “You didn’t talk to her, Jimin. She’s gone. She’s been gone.”
“Okay, what the actual fuck are you saying?” Jimin snapped, his heart racing now. “She was literally sitting here yesterday. Like, I swear on everything, she was here. I talked to her.”
Namjoon’s face morphs into a look of pure defeat, his grip loosening on his shoulders.
“And I saw her die.”
Jimin felt the bile rise up to his stomach. “Bro,” he whispered, his voice shaky. The room felt like it was spinning, and he was being forced down to stand with his wobbly limbs.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Just open it. It’s just a book.
The lamp’s light flickered as Jimin sat at his desk, hyper aware of everything around him — even the faint ticking of his table clock. He flexed his fingers, trying to shake off the nerves, but his palms were clammy, and the tremor in his hands wouldn’t stop.
He exhaled sharply, trying to steady himself. “It’s just a book,” he muttered, but it was something he himself couldn’t believe.
The room felt unnaturally quiet as his fingers brushed the cover.
The rough texture sent a chill skittering up his spine. Never ever even in his wildest dreams had he even thought that opening a book would make him shit his pants, but here he was. Slowly, he peeled it open, the spine creaking softly in the stillness.
The words were there, faint but deliberate, etched on the first page in a beautiful cursive drawl.
Return it to me.
He blinked, his mind scrambling for logic, for reason, but then his gaze dropped lower. There, written in neat, bold letters, was a date.
It wasn’t yesterday’s. It wasn’t today’s either.
It was tomorrow.
a/n : poor mimi 😔 if you enjoyed reading this, let me know what you think 💬 here’s the anon feedback box for you :-)
pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader, namjoon x reader (later)
summary: a microchip signals to you when you find someone compatible to be your soulmate. yours is the opposite of you in every way, and he doesn't even believe in soulmates
genre: 18+ romance, smut, angst, soulmate!au, dystopian backdrop, love triangle, romeo-juliet, opposites attract, grumpy-sunshine, fate versus destiny
premise: the soulmate initiative was a state program to promote healthy relationships. all citizens have a chip which signals to them when they find someone who meets their compatibility threshold. park jimin is a member of the resistance that aims to dismantle the state, as well as programs like this which rob free will. determined to love him no matter your differences, you fight for him despite the danger it puts both you and him in
wc: 8.5k || series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
warnings: multiple & explicit smut scenes, lots of kissing good lord, penetrative sex, rough sex, love-making, emotional sex, public sex, oral (f rec), fingering, fondling, fluffy aftercare, jungkook sorta just walks in on you while showering so theres that, physical fighting (not mc), blackmail, a is for angst, crying, mention of family deaths, use of cigarettes, lying, jimin might be a tiny bit toxic if you squint
Indulgence. The ironic meeting spot of the resistance within the isolated Red District of the city. Neon lights flickering across inebriated eyes—eyes that dreamed of justice but currently were mesmerized by the dancers, embodying grace and allure, fluid movements, enticing glances, bodies telling tales of desire. Here they would congregate, removed from the prying eyes of society.
Jimin pushed open the heavy door, hit with the aromatic blend of perfume, whiskey, and sweat. An intoxicating haze. Across the room, Jin and the others sat, cigarettes lit and glasses clinking. A celebration of sorts—Jimin wondered why. They never invited him here. Frankly, he never cared to come either. It was a liability. Jimin was one of the few resistance members that continued to possess the state-mandated microchip. Him arriving in person to a banned establishment such as a strip club, put the entire area on the state’s radar.
Nevertheless, Jin texted him to come. So he obeyed.
“There he is” Jin greeted him from the comfort of the leather-clad booth. The light chatter diminishing as the others acknowledged him. Jimin took a seat, Jin handing him the cigarette right away.
As the smoke caressed his senses, a fleeting calm washed over him, a momentary escape from the chaos of the world. The world around him seemed to dim, and his mind went straight to you. How it felt so right to have your body hugged up against him when he rode you home. Your lips hovering over his neck, your scent, all of you overwhelming all of him. Speeding way beyond the limit at the edge of the night. No one to find you, no one to interfere.
In that moment the two of you were not soulmates. You were two people, high on the danger, adrenaline, and glimpse of a new beginning. You were alive.
Jimin’s lips curled in a subtle smile. The others could never know. He couldn’t imagine what they would do to you, if they knew. Jimin’s mere presence around you was a danger. The risk he took seeing you was worth it, for the thrill. But he knew better than to push his luck.
“Who’s got you smiling like that?” Across the table, Min Yoongi—a high ranked member who was like a mentor to his brother, teased. Jimin shrugged, tapping the ashtray. He wondered if any of them had felt the kind of high he had with you. Heart racing, fingers trembling, blood hot with desire.
“Jimin went to see his soulmate”
He blinked. Jin’s smile was wide—cocky. The whole table looked around in shock, exchanging looks of concern.
“Hyung what the hell” Jimin muttered under his breath. He didn’t know how Jin found out, probably had him followed. Fuck, he knew he shouldn’t have done it. He should have cut all contact with you the second he found out.
But he was too curious. Too drawn to your sweet taste that left scars on his lips. Was that selfish?
“Look,” Jin cleared his throat, “We’ve had come concerns about your commitment to the cause” Listening patiently, Jimin took another sharp inhale, letting the smoke dissipate through his lips. “You have an opportunity to prove your loyalty. Are you willing to do so?”
Willing. What a joke—Jimin mused. Technically, the resistance would never force actions on any of its members. But Jimin was a puppet and the strings of the fight for freedom chained him.
“Jimin’s soulmate also happens to be a scientist. Working on experiments for the Soulmate Initiative itself”
Jimin’s fists clenched, tempted like many other times to give Jin a solid punch to the face. A waitress approached the table. “Sir, this young woman was looking for you” She motioned to the entrance where you stood. Uncomfortable, scanning the foreign space.
Jimin exhaled, breath full of smoke, coughing out in shock. What the fuck were you doing here?
“Ah, she’s pretty, Jimin. If she were mine I’d probably buy into the soulmate crap just for a taste, although I’m assuming that’s what you’ve been doing huh” Jin teased. Jimin kicked his shin, not appreciating his flirty tone.
Setting down his cigarette, he immediately stood. Passing back an annoyed glare at Jin who simply chuckled.
Without a word he pulled you outside into the cold. The wind was crisp still—his leather jacket shielding him from it. And you were drowning in your puffy coat, knitted hat covering up to your eyelids.
Cute.
“Miss me already, doctor?” Jimin teased, trying his best to figure out why the hell you would have come here, and moreover how you would have known about this place.
You tugged at your sleeves, nose scrunching as you searched for words. He stared into your eyes. Your pretty, fucking gorgeous eyes that transfixed him like hypnosis. Eyes that said so much so loud, and yet he was dying to hear them. Jimin tried to fight it, the way every fiber of him was screaming to kiss you, fists clenching as he held himself back.
And then you bit your lip. So subtly, out of habit. But you did. And fuck.
Fuck.
Jimin lost it. He smashed his lips against yours. The taste he swore he was addicted to. Craving your lips, gasping, breathing you in. Hands cupping your face, forehead tilted against yours—he kissed you like your touch was all he needed to survive.
Maybe it was.
“Get off of me” You shoved him away. Jimin stared at you, stunned. “Asshole”
“Y/n—what?” He reached for your hand, but you pulled it away. Had he done something? His mind whirred, scanning through your entire evening. Every word he said, every move he made. He loved every second—and he thought you had too.
“Fuck you Jimin. I lost my job because of what you did” You gripped his jacket.
What the hell is she talking about? Jimin’s eyes softened. “You lost your job?”
His brows furrowed in confusion, until Jin’s words came echoing back. An opportunity to prove yourself.
They were testing him.
“You stole the data from the lab, didn’t you?”
Jimin’s nails dug into his palm as he took a deep breath.
“Yeah.” His response curt. He watched as tears began to spill from your eyes. His throat felt tight, chest pounding with regret.
“Why?”
“You know why, doctor”
“Did today mean nothing to you?” Your voice was small. Jimin stepped back, hand running through his hair. Lying to you felt wrong, but he had to do it. He had to lie to you. He had to destroy this before it began.
“Look, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” The words left his mouth before he could stop them. The hurt in your eyes broke him a little. “I only went to see you because I had a job to do. I tricked you. That’s who I am”
This was for the best. So why did it feel so fucking horrible?
You shook your head furiously, “You’re lying”
“If you had a mind of your own, you wouldn’t even want to be in a relationship with someone like me anyway. That’s how I know it’s bullshit. They’re controlling you”
“No” You were stubborn, “No, I know you feel it too”
Jimin wanted to break. Shatter into a million pieces and get whisked away by the wind. His heart ached, bliss was only a truth away.
“Of course I fucking feel it, there’s a chip in my fucking neck telling me to” Jimin snapped, grabbing your waist, “And god does it feel good. So fucking good, I want to kiss you so fucking bad whenever I see you. But that’s all it is. I’m not in love with you Y/n—I can’t be”
You stepped away from him, evidently shaking. Jimin felt awful—sick to his core. Each tear streaming down your face was a bullet to his heart. A punch to the face. He wished the ground would swallow him whole. This was his fault—he shouldn’t have entertained you, not for a second. You should hate him, and he knew you probably wouldn’t because of the damn microchip. Which was the most frustrating part.
“Y/n are you done?”
Jimin turned to see Jungkook pull up in a small electric car. His glasses were foggy, hair a shaggy mess over his long coat.
“Glasses. Always a pleasure”
“Shut the fuck up man” Jungkook parked the car, stepping out to rush past him, taking you into his arms. Jimin crossed his arms over his chest, watching as Jungkook wiped your tears away before leading you into the car.
You turned back, one last time. He wondered if you could read his eyes. If you could, he was screaming out to you.
Fists balled up in fury, he stormed back inside the club. Jin stood by the window, amused by the whole ordeal. Slow applause filled his ringing ears as Jin approached him, patting him on his back.
“Well done. Almost wasn’t sure you had it in you”
Jimin had enough. He felt disgusting. Venom through his veins as his throat felt heavy with guilt. He was sick and tired of Jin. Sick and tired of the resistance dictating his every move. Holding their money over his head—he could be fine on his own. He could go off, get a job somewhere and fend for himself. Maybe he could get a scholarship to keep studying, he would never know. Under the guise of his brother’s wishes, how much was he expected to sacrifice?
With a surge of adrenaline, he lunged forward, fists clenched, aiming towards his Jin’s jaw. The music stopped. People gathered around, watching intently. Jimin’s eyes fuming with rage.
“You forget who the fuck I am?” Jimin sneered, “You’re out of line.”
Jin chuckled darkly, touching his bruise before standing back upright. “Oh come on, you don’t actually care about her. You barely know the bitch” Jimin swung at him again, but Jin dodged him move, forearm intercepting to twist him back. Jimin proceeded to kick back into his gut.
“Call her a bitch again, see what happens.” Jin landed on the floor, grunting as Jimin towered over him, “Get her her fucking job back Jin”
Jin wasn’t backing down. He punched Jimin back, the clash of their fists echoed through the silent room. Blow after blow exchanged, the impact reverberating through their bodies, fueling their determination.
“Where the fuck would you go?” Jin laughed between strikes, “She will never forgive you now. I you both a favor”
Jin dodged another swift punch, retaliating with a swift kick to his Jimin’s abdomen. Jimin staggered backward, but quickly regained his footing, launching himself back at him.
“You can’t love her Jimin, even if you wanted to” Jin rammed Jimin against the wall, trapping his throat with his elbow. Attempting to reason with him. “A part of you would always wonder. I know you kid. You have a duty to your brother”
“You’re the reason my brother is dead” Jimin hissed, trying to push Jin off but to no avail. They stood, chests heaving, their eyes locked with an intense spite.
“Okay enough” Yoongi interrupted, rolling his eyes. He held Jimin’s shoulder before nodding to Jin to let him go. “Jin, please get the poor girl her job back. That’s an order. And Jimin, the resistance core will be in touch about a character review. Stay away from the scientist—you know the rules”
You—
At some point it began to rain. Standing still, cold droplets seeping through your coat made you shiver. A welcome sensation, numbing the pain in your chest.
Jungkook unlocked your apartment before pulling you into his chest. You sobbed into him as he pressed his lips on top of your head.
"You poor thing, let’s get you into the shower"
He was sweet, handing you towels, laying out a pair of dry clothes for you. The hot vapor of the shower forcing you relax, forcing you to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. You slid to the floor, the shower pouring down on your back. Hot water scalding against your head. Hugging your knees to your chest.
You hear the shower door slide open, not reacting as your voice dried into soft sobs. Jungkook hovered over you, clothes getting wet at the edge of the water. Instead of focusing on the fact that you were completely naked, soaking wet in front of him, he looked into your eyes. Worried.
Finally, he crawled into the tiny space, sitting down by your side. His large hands caressing your hunched shoulders. You met his gaze. Grateful for him, as always.
God why couldn't it have been him? Such a perfect piece to your missing puzzle. His hair began to curl up in front of his eyes, dewy as he shook the water away. He was so close. So warm. Lips so soft, so near.
He smiled, and you could tell his thoughts mirrored yours. Eyes scanning over your face, your body, before he looked away. A disappointment in his eyes.
"I told you he was no good" Jungkook muttered, a hint of bitterness.
Closing your eyes, you focused on the way the water flowed over your head, down onto your eyelids, dripping off onto your face. Your boss, Dr. Jung had texted you—the data was missing. All of it, your years of work grinding through your degree. Jimin had stolen all of it. Inviting himself into your lab under the guise of wanting to give you a chance. It was a lie. You could barely fathom that soulmates could lie to one another. Let alone hurt them so deeply. Your fingers trembled, pressed between your knees.
“If I had been his type.” You confessed, laughing slightly, “Or somehow better, then he might have believed just a little bit that we were actually meant to be together, and maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t have betrayed me”
“Bullshit” Jungkook said quietly, “It’s not you. It’s how he was raised”
You knew he was right. Ever logical, Jungkook never entertained pointless theory. He looked at the facts—and the fact was that you finally met your soulmate. And he was part of the resistance, a group built around free will. Something they claim the state denies through programs such as the Soulmate Initiative.
“Y/n” Jungkook interrupted your thoughts, “Have you ever considered that Jimin just may not want a soulmate at all?”
You stared at Jungkook. Picking at your nails nervously as you considered his question. There were no laws that forced soulmates to be together. It was usually the case that they simply chose to do so. It was logical, to you. Be with the person you are compatible with—the person who can love you and make you happy. Complete you like no one else can. You thought back to your “date” with him. The way you felt so incredibly safe with him. The amazing adrenaline rush you felt holding onto him for dear life as he raced on his motorcycle. The look in his eyes after he kissed you.
Those were facts. That was real.
“When I first saw Jimin and knew, I found myself wishing I hadn’t looked” You placed your hand over Jungkook’s.
Jungkook stared blankly at the floor. Body tensing at your words.
“Well” Turning off the shower, he stared at you, at your body. “I never looked anywhere but at you” Frozen in place, his throat tight, cheeks blushing.
You stared at him, bewildered.
His fingers trapped your jaw, before allowing his lips to slide onto yours. You groaned into his mouth, as his other hand rested on your thigh. Gripping at your skin.
As your lips touched, a surge of conflicting emotions coursed through your veins. For years this was all you wanted. Him—just like this. Wanting you just as bad. Time stood still as your mouths delicately met, exploring each other, evoking a rush of feeling. Of comfort.
But what it felt like with Jimin was different. Something you couldn’t quite make sense of. Logic was misaligned, but Jimin felt incredible to kiss. His smile made you giddy with happiness.
As Jungkook pulled away, a mixture of confusion and clarity settled upon you. You missed Jimin, despite it all. Your heart may not be ready to forgive, but you weren’t ready to give up either. There had to be more to the story. You simply refused to believe your soulmate would ever put you in harms way.
“Forget about him” Jungkook urged almost knowingly, voice trying desperately to push out your infiltrative thoughts. His nose tracing yours, “Just forget him”
He slid his lips onto yours again, this time with more intensity. You could feel without a doubt that he wanted you. As you fell back onto the cold shower floor, Jungkook’s hand cushioning your head. His eyes locked shut—but yours wide open.
You groaned in surprise, attempting to push his large frame away. He got the hint, lifting you back up.
“Let me stay with you tonight” Jungkook pleaded, grabbing a towel and wrapping it over your shoulders. “So you don’t have to be alone”
You couldn’t say no. It hurt too much.
You woke up in Jungkook’s arms, his hands on your stomach, and your back against his chest. Carefully you tried to move your legs which were wedged between his.
He groaned, feeling you move. Tightening his hold and pulling you back to him. You felt your breath escape you as Jungkook’s prominent boner pressed into your thigh. You were a scientist. A biologist—so you knew these things were perfectly normal. But you couldn’t help the way your stomach erupted into butterflies.
“Morning,” Jungkook reached out, stretching cutely. “That was the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while” He confessed, nuzzling against your neck. “You sleep okay?”
Your heart hammered in your chest. He was being incredibly sweet-addictively so, and you wanted to give in.
“Yeah I did, thanks” You leaned into his touch, his lips warm and sloppy against your nape. You couldn’t help the soft moan leaving your lips as his hands slid over your stomach. Threatening to go higher.
“You smell so good” He muttered lazily. A small smile painted your lips. Your phone began to vibrate. Checking the screen, you raised your eyebrows.
“Dr. Jung?”
“Y/n, it seems as though the data were returned,” He sounded annoyed, per usual, “You must have some great connections because I’ve been ordered to re-employ you, but best believe if you bring another stranger into my lab again—”
“Oh, uh. N-Never, sir”
The man hung up. You blinked slowly, processing. “I got my job back”
Jungkook’s smile widened, “That’s great—”
“Jimin did this,” You stood up urgently, interrupting Jungkook, “I have to find him”
“Y/n” Jungkook grabbed your arm before you could run off. “He doesn’t want you. He made that clear”
You shook your head, “I can’t give up. I deserve love, and so does he”
Jimin—
The resistance core was furious once they caught wind of Jimin’s actions. He was to be put in front of the resistance core council to debate his allegiance. Jimin couldn’t care less. Perhaps this was the escape—you were the escape, the chance he needed to get out and find his own destiny. Course, you were gone. You wouldn’t be able to forgive him, hell, Jimin wouldn’t want you to.
You were probably with Jungkook. He wondered if you liked Jungkook back since he clearly liked you. Maybe he comforted you. Maybe the two of you slept together.
Jimin wanted to vomit.
“Jimin” The council head spoke after some silence, reviewing the documented complaints, “We believe in free will. If you don’t want to support us, the cause that your brother gave so much to, to avenge the death of your family, that is your prerogative. However if you intend to stay with us, you must agree to never make contact with The Scientist ever again”
Nodding, Jimin gulped. He figured as much.
“We realize the pull of the Soulmate Initiative is tough to resist. And we do want you to be happy. So if you really do want to be with The Scientist, you can do so if she leaves her job and is willing to cooperate with us”
He couldn’t do that to you. No way.
Jimin had to decide. Jin was right, if he left he didn’t have anywhere to go. Not a penny to his own name. He did want to see change. At least here, he was able to make an impact. Here, his existence had some meaning.
“I won’t contact her again. I am grateful for the council’s mercy”
On his bike, he had no direction. No sense of where he was going—but he drove on. Fast, dangerously swerving the roads. He couldn’t talk to you, but he could check up on you at least. No, that would be far too painful.
Tears built in his eyes, clouding his vision. Bringing his motorcycle to a stop on the edge of the highway, he cried. A child denied a toy, he cried because he missed you. Because his body wanted you and he had to deny it. Deny you. Everything stripped away from him—his family, brother and now you. Was there a point to any of it?
“Are you alright?” A car halted—large white SUV, clearly indicating a state official. The window was tainted black, bulletproof. As it rolled down, Jimin could see a pair of eyes. It was a man. He looked vaguely familiar.
“Yeah, I’m good”
He rode to campus, soul void. Studying was a proven distraction to his hopeless reality. After all, he couldn’t afford to sulk around. He had to keep moving. As he walked towards the law library, he saw you. You saw him. The two of you frozen in time.
Until you were running. Running to him with your arms open and he caught you, swinging you up with the momentum, hand behind your head as he hugged you into him. Nirvana. Instinct, taking in all you were—your scent, the heat from your body—until he realized he was touching you and pushed you away.
“I got my job back” You were elated, brimming with excitement. Jimin wanted to kiss every inch of your smiling face. A warm feeling erupting from your happiness.
“Glad to hear it, doctor” He remained stoic, nevertheless. He needed you to give up. Needed you to get away.
“You care about me, you did this”
Jimin sighed. Why did his soulmate have to be the most stubborn woman on the fucking planet—he didn’t know.
“I don’t care about you”
“Stop fighting me” You pleaded, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. “Look I’m sure you had your reasons for doing what you did. We can move past this”
“I already told you I don’t want this”
You stepped forward, face inched away from his, a fiery determination in your eyes.
“Really?” You tilted your face, squinting at him. Jimin nodded, eyebrows raised.
You stroked his face, just as he had done to you many times. He was stiff, taken aback by your forwardness. Without thinking, you pushed yourself onto your toes so you could melt into a kiss. You knew he could feel it, down to his bones—nothing was more right in the world than when you were in his arms, lips on his. No moral compass could keep you apart in those moments, Jimin was merely a servant, a fool bending to your magnetism and he would give up everything in an instant to feel like this forever.
His lips parted, letting you slip your tongue in. Widening your jaw to deepen the kiss. Tender in his actions, taming his need. Savoring every second.
Tears rolled down his face. If this was the last time he’d ever see you, he wanted it all. Forehead pressed against yours, his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, breathing barely inches away. Panting. Heart pounding.
“I can’t” You could feel his words, spoken upon your lips. Tone serious. No teasing, no flirting, just straight. “They won’t let me”
He stared at you a beat longer. Before grabbing your wrist, dragging you behind the library to an alleyway near the dumpsters. He pressed you against the wall, gripping your waist firmly.
He dove into your neck, fluttering kisses all over. Fingers trailing up your sides to where he grabbed your wrists, stretching them to either side of you. Movement urgent, frantic—you were his kryptonite, and he was unraveling at the seams.
Your fingers intertwined with his, as he nipped at your jaw. Breathing heavily, you attempted to call out his name but no voice came. Instead a soft moan. His fingers tightened around yours as he pulled away, staring into your eyes.
Silence. Only the sounds of both of you desperately trying to catch your breath. Flushed and bewildered.
“You should leave” Jimin’s voice was coarse. Deeper than usual, “Go”
He didn’t move. Neither did you. You challenged him, gaze unwavering. Waiting to see what he would do next.
It was as if something inside of him snapped. Something feral, raw, suppressed. Instantly he released your hands, fumbling to unbutton your pants. He yanked them down just enough before doing so to himself. Fingers softly gliding over your folds, barely teasing. He grabbed your hips, lifting you up against the wall before yanking your panties aside. Biting his lip, focused. You watched, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, as his cock teased your entrance.
“Tell me to stop” He growled. “Tell me right fucking now doctor”
You shook your head, sliding your hand to his jaw. Blinking you stared into his lust shot eyes, eyelids fluttering, hazy with desire.
He sank into you slowly, letting out a low groan into your neck. Hands holding you steady, he was patient. Despite the heated urgency of his actions. There was not a thought in his head. Not a thought in yours. Nothing but raw need as he felt your hot walls tighten around him.
Jimin’s nose traced yours as he began to move in and out. Bouncing you up against the wall while your hands ran through his hair, scratching at him. Grabbing fistfuls and tugging his head back. He was so deep, so full inside you. The drag of his cock against your walls had you seeing stars. Rolling your eyes back, you wanted to scream.
“Ssh, be quiet for me doctor” Jimin kissed your lips playfully, lingering as he continued to fuck into you. He rolled his hips, pushing you up with every thrust, fingers digging into the bottom of your ass.
He let you onto your feet, pulling out so he could turn you around. Your hands up against the wall, his wrapped around your chest, shamelessly grabbing at you over your coat. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel you. Unzipping the damned thing he tossed it aside, enveloping you to keep you from the cold.
Finally his hands could slip under your sweater, pushing it up to the tops of your chest, tits sensitive to his touch. Hooking his jaw over your shoulder he watched as he squeezed your breasts, caressing them fondly.
Jimin pressed his lips against your collar, digging in his teeth. Keeping a hand on your chest, he slid back into you from behind, this time immediately rocking his hips steady into you. You arced your back, reaching back to grab his hair again. The slippery echoes of your cunt getting louder as his thrusts intensified.
Pressing you up even closer to the wall, he let one hand dive in front of you, fingers gliding over your clit. His touch was gentle, reaching exactly where you needed him to. And he could tell. Smiling against the back of your head as he felt you beginning to tremble. Wetness seeping as his cock nudged in further, finger rapidly circling your clit right there. Pushing you closer and closer to your edge.
Nothing but red. Red heat building inside of you, toes curling, lungs clenching—you couldn’t breathe. His body so close, the warmth against the cold air. You bucked forward, body spasming, twitching all over. He didn’t waver, he kept going, finger working you through your orgasm. Biting back moans as you tightened around his cock. Your wetness seeping through, soaking him.
Cursing, he pulled out, afraid he was going to lose himself in the sweet sensation of you. Turning you back around he pulled your thighs apart, sliding his cock against your clit, causing you to wince.
“Fuck, come here” He gritted, pulling you into another kiss. His hand tugging at his cock. He spilled into his palm, letting out a deep moan.
Finding steadiness, he cleaned himself up, zipping up his pants as you did the same. Grabbing your coat from the ground, he handed it to you.
As he was doing so, you noticed the bruises on his skin.
“Jimin—are you hurt?” You touched him again, causing him to flinch. “When did this happen?”
“Don’t” He warned. “Just go”
“Can I at least bandage you—my place isn’t too far from here, come on okay” You grabbed his wrist, tugging him along. Jimin stood firm in his ground.
“Why can’t you fuck off”
You turned back at him, “Fine, let me do this and then you can go—I won’t bother you again”
Jimin looked at you skeptically, but chose to go along regardless. He followed you through campus, the snow beginning to melt away—spring was nearing. He could see tiny flower buds on bushes, birds chirping in the distance. Your apartment was cozy. A smaller building, you were on the top floor. Frazzled, you fumbled with your keys to get in, and Jimin was hardly surprised to see the haphazard shape your place was in—textbooks, papers everywhere.
“Sorry about the mess”
Jimin was a neat freak himself. Nevertheless, he swallowed his irks and let you lead him into your bedroom. He scanned the walls, aside from some nerdy science posters there wasn’t much there. He noticed your shelf of romance novels, as well as a copy of Dr. Kim Namjoon’s memoir.
You pulled off his jacket, then his shirt. His toned muscles littered with purple. The bruises causing your eyes to widen. Jimin couldn’t help but smirk. They weren’t watching anymore—no harm in teasing you a little.
“Like what you see doc?”
You blushed, meeting his eyes before immediately returning to your task. “No—I mean, yeah you look great. Not your bruises—those don’t look good at all, but here let me just—” You found a first aid kit under your bed. Grabbing some gauze and alcohol, you began to tend to his wounds. He watched as you kneeled in front of him, focus lasered onto the task at hand.
Jimin grabbed your jaw suddenly, overwhelmed by your tender care. Pulling your face to his. You blinked at him, stunned as he kissed you softly. Humming against your mouth. More relaxed, at ease, as if he had all the time in the world.
“Jimin let me—mmpfh” He didn’t let you finish. He didn’t want to hear another word. Pulling you into his lap, he slid your own coat to the floor. Not leaving your lips for a second.
“No” You squealed, giggling slightly. “No more until you let me clean your wounds”
Jimin pouted, looking to you with puppy eyes. “But you’re my doctor aren’t you—and this makes me feel good”
“I thought you wanted to leave” You taunted him right back. He grinned, enjoying the way you were pushing him.
“I’m not in a rush” His eyes darkened, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth.
“You don’t ever have to leave, you know” You offered. “They can’t hurt you here”
Jimin raised his eyebrows, “The resistance you mean? Why are you gonna take them all on your own?” He nudged you playfully. You shrugged.
“I could use my evil science powers”
Jimin laughed. Laughed in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Why did he want to leave so badly—why did he have to push you away? Could he dare to hope that you two could survive anything—it seemed unrealistic. Cliché. But here he was, dumb in love with you despite his best efforts.
Wait what.
Jimin gulped, growing serious all of a sudden as he continued to stare at you. You rose from his lap, a goofy smile on your face as you packed up the first aid kit.
“You said they won’t let you…were you talking about the resistance? Will they not let you be with me? Because I’m your soulmate” He watched as you wandered into your kitchen.
“It’s not because you’re my soulmate. It’s your job” Jimin responded, “But I also don’t believe in this soulmate stuff, which you know”
“Well clearly you do when it helps you get laid” You joked. He knew you were joking, but it wasn’t funny to him. His physical attraction to you was feverish, and it concerned him that he might be taking advantage of you. Getting benefits of a commitment he was unwilling to make. You returned, noticing his serious aura. “Jimin—it’s fine. You told me you don’t want me, anything that happened after was my choice”
You don’t want me. Of course he wanted you. How could he not want you—you were perfect. You were suffocatingly stubborn, clingy, messy and absolutely clueless but you were perfect. And you would fight to the ends of the earth for what you believed in, while Jimin wasn’t sure if he believed in anything anymore.
“I’d never ask you to leave your job. But they own me, Y/n. I really can’t do anything about it. I didn’t even steal your data. They did, and they made me take the fall for it so that you’d hate me and leave me alone”
“I will leave you alone Jimin, if I think that’s what you actually want” You held his hand firmly, “But I have a tough time thinking that’s true”
Jimin looked at you. The glimmer of hope in your eyes. “Even if they allowed it, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re inherently not compatible”
“We are compatible. We’re soulmates. You do what you have to do for the resistance, I won’t interfere and I would never sell you out”
“What if my job forces me to damage something you believe in though?”
You sighed deeply. Jimin could tell you didn’t know the answer. Despair began to weigh down on you both, how unlucky must you be to have been matched to someone like him. He wanted to be the man you deserved, but he wasn’t. Plain and simple.
“I like you, Jimin” You confessed instead. “I think you’re great. I want you. You’re in my dreams, I can’t not think about you. Even when Jungkook kissed me I,”
Jimin’s grip on your hand loosened. “Jungkook kissed you?”
“It didn’t mean anything! He was just trying to comfort me, I think”
He put his hands up in defense, “I’m not upset with you doctor—I get it. He’s cute”
You made a face, “You make fun of him”
Jimin winked, “You can be lame and cute at the same time. You are”
“You think I’m lame?”
“I think you’re a nerd” He confessed, matter of factly. You punched him playfully before sliding your lips onto his. He pulled you against his chest, holding you tenderly. “Prettiest fucking nerd, but nerd nonetheless”
You giggled against his lips. He kissed you again and again, smiling in between and it was everything. Jimin couldn’t even fathom that you were real. A real person in his arms making him so happy—elated about the future in a way he was sure he’d never been before. You were everything. The start of everything.
Falling onto his back, you climbed over him, lips not parting for even a moment. His hands gripping at the hem of your sweater before you allowed him to pull it over your head. He admired you, lips swollen in nothing but your baby blue sports bra.
He let his fingers trail over the fabric, drawing light circles and watching the way you twitched under him. You gasped, unconsciously rolling your hips against him. The look on your face was priceless, biting down on your lip hard as you tried to tame down your sensitivity. Adorable, how you thought Jimin couldn’t tell. That he couldn’t read your body like the back of his hand. Finally you grabbed his wrists, stopping his movements so that you could pull off your bra. Your breasts popping out—Jimin lay dumbfounded, eyes glued to your body.
You looked at him, shy. Jimin exhaled shakily, unsure how to capture his amazement. He wanted to touch—so fucking bad. You rose carefully, sliding down you trousers until you were left in your panties. Then those dropped to the floor.
“Fucking hell doctor, you’re gonna give me a heart attack” He stood up, unzipping his own pants where his bulge was painful, burning between his legs. Kicking the garments aside, his hands hovered over your waist—barely touching. Waiting for your signal.
“You’re beautiful”
Jimin’s ears burned at your words, blush across his face. You looked at him with awe. His heart fluttered, realizing he had never really been complimented on his looks before, merely his ability to fight.
“Can I touch you?” His voice was raspy, barley audible. Lust seized every fiber of him. “Please let me fucking touch you”
You nodded, and Jimin wasted not one more second grabbing your hips, sliding his hands to your ass where he squeezed you as his lips locked with yours.
Laying you down on the bed, his lips trailed every inch of your skin from your toes, up your calves, down your thighs. Loving the way you twitched and moaned at his every move. Riling you up, he wanted to see you fall apart under him. His fingers found your clit again, palm rolling under your folds. You grinded on his wrist, fingers helplessly clutching the sheets beneath you.
Dropping to his knees, he spread your thighs, admiring your glistening folds. You bucked your hips as he traced them—trying desperately to shut your legs but he overpowered you.
“Jimin I’ve never—I don’t know if that’s such a good” He shushed you sweetly, looking deep into your eyes. Kissing the insides of your thigh, he worked he way to your pussy. Slow, patient, kissing the edge of your folds as you squealed.
“It’s okay baby, I want to” He promised, and you believed him. His hand caressing your thigh to ease the tension before he slipped in his tongue. Eyes not leaving yours for a second. It was incredibly intimate. He seemed to consume you, in a white-hot blaze of adoration. You reached for him, sitting up to grab a fistful of his hair. The pull turned him on even more, his tongue flicking faster, eating you out for all you were worth.
“Jimin” You panted, “Ohh fuck” He continued to fuck his tongue inside of you, drinking up your essence. His wet tongue hot, deep in your core where you could feel his every move—driving you crazy. Your eyes dazed, frazzled beyond belief. Lips parted as your eyes rolled back with pleasure.
Coming up for air, he licked his lips, savoring your taste. You stared at him with blasted eyes as he crawled up to your face so he could kiss you again.
“Thank you” Jimin chuckled at your words.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby. It’s my fucking pleasure”
“Should I do you?”
He shook his head. If he didn’t pound his cock inside you right now, he swore he was going to implode.
“Open up for me baby, yeah?” He lined his cock up with your soaked cunt. Slowly, inch by inch he began to slide in. You bit down on your lips hard, until blood trickled out. Jimin licked it right up, tongue teasing your lips before sliding into your mouth. He bottomed out, lips glued to yours, groaning into you. Propped up on his forearms, he gave you a moment to adjust. He felt so good—shafted deep inside you. You clenched around him obscenely tight, he was seeing stars. You were a dizzy hurricane, and he wanted to be swept up by you. Destroyed until there was nothing left.
“You feel so good” He buried his face into your neck, “Fuck baby, so fucking good for me. You feel okay baby? Can I move?”
“Y-yeah” At your green light, Jimin carefully pulled out. Back in, tight thrusts beginning to pick up in pace. Dotting your face with kisses between each one. He swore he was losing consciousness, vision blurred with desperation—craving of you. Heart pounding as pleasure wiped through his nerves.
Hooking your leg over his shoulder, he adjusted his angle, hitting you even deeper. Your cunt coating him, the sound and smell of sex driving Jimin feral. His hands grabbing your breasts, wanting you to be stimulated—to feel as good as he was.
“Fuck baby, I don’t ever want to leave” His mind was void. Reason out the door as he spewed nonsense. “I’ll leave it all for you baby, leave it all for this fucking cunt—oh God”
“Don’t leave” You responded, disoriented by his pace. “Don’t ever leave me”
“I won’t baby, fuck, I’m never leaving” He kissed you firmly, letting your leg fall to the side. He stared into your eyes, foreheads touching as he drove his cock in deep. “You like it baby? You want my big fucking cock, yeah?”
You nodded furiously as he taunted you. The pout in your lips sending him overboard. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum so fucking hard—you’re so fucking hot, my pretty girl—where do you want me? Want me to cum on your face?”
“Please” You gasped as he pulled out, tugging his cock as he kneeled tall over you, letting his cum squirt down onto your eyelids. He groaned, taken by the sensation and by how sexy you looked covered in his cum like that. Ropes of cum streaming out as his hips bucked, hot pleasure seizing him.
“Fuckk” He collapsed onto you, burying his face into your chest. Rolling onto your sides, you caressed his head against you. He looked up at you, nothing but fondness in his eyes. Wiping the cum off of you with his discarded t-shirt.
The two of you lay in silence, simply adoring one another. Jimin pulled you into his arms, grabbing your comforter so the two of you could slide under. He stroked your back softly, fingers trailing up and down your spine. Naked legs tangling. Fitting against each other like a puzzle. He kissed your forehead as you buried your face into his chest.
“You okay?” He asked after some time, massaging your shoulders gently. You peered up at him, content and blissed.
“This is really nice” You whispered, trying to hide your smile. Jimin held your chin steady, preventing you from turning away.
“You’re so cute” He muttered, landing another peck to your lips. It never got old, he swore he could kiss you forever. “I—”
He stiffened, unsure if he was ready to say it. It was too soon, and he still lacked the answers of how the two of you could possibly work, and you must have known because you simply chuckled.
“I know. Me too”
You—
The lab had always been your safe space. The comfort of the chunky white lab coats, latex-free gloves and goggles. Your protection. Your serenity. As you went about your trials, Jungkook sat at the bench next to yours, typing away at his computer.
“What are you working on?” The silence was too loud. Things felt awkward with Jungkook. You knew you couldn’t tell him you hooked up with Jimin. Even though, in your eyes, you did the right thing. Your first time with Jimin was rushed. Unexpected. But so was he. In the most flawed way, he was somehow perfect. You knew he was scared of what he felt. Scared to question what he believed, but in that moment all he wanted was you and he was sure to let you know that. Second time was bliss. And you were so excited to go home to him. Excited for every amazing night to come. You wanted to tell Jungkook everything, but wasn’t sure he would appreciate knowing the intimate details of your love life.
“I’m finding your compatibility results”
You swerved, “What?” Kicking your chair so it rolled next to Jungkook’s. You scanned his screen, seeing him type in some code. “How?”
“I have my ways” He assured you, “I just want to get to the bottom of this, you deserve better”
“Jungkook, that might not be necessary anymore actually because…”
“Here!” Your attention redirected to his screen. He clicked on a file, opening a scanned proposal. Scrolling through, he finally found your name. “Y/n L/n, age, birthday, la da da” Humming, he searched the data for a clue.
“Well?” You tapped your fingers against the desk.
“Uh” Jungkook gulped, “Interesting.”
“What? What is it?”
Jungkook looked at you, almost as though he were debating what to say next. “Y/n, do you really love him?”
“We’re getting there” He raised his eyebrows, “I mean, we—are making progress”
Jungkook read between your words. Shutting his laptop, he sighed. “Nevermind”
“Jungkook—what the fuck did it say?”
“Jimin isn’t listed as your soulmate. You don’t have anyone listed”
Your throat felt dry. “What?”
“You were in the placebo cohort”
You stared at him. The placebo cohort. Meaning—what?
“I’m sorry, Y/n”
“No there’s some other explanation” You shook your head, “Jimin and I had a rough start but. He’s kind. Dedicated. He’s had a rough go of it—I don’t know his story but I can just tell. He’s insightful, and isn’t afraid to challenge me. He understands me too, even in this short time. He’s sweet. And he wants me just as bad as I want him”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Jungkook looked appalled, “You’re delusional, Y/n. He said he didn’t want you, explicitly. He’s lied to you many times,”
“The chip doesn’t alter our emotions, it only gives us the signal. I know what I feel Jungkook—it has to be him”
“Placebo cohort’s get the signal, but the compatibility test wasn’t actually run so it’s signaling that some random person you’re not actually compatible with is your soulmate. To see if the computability part actually matters, or if simply thinking someone is your soulmate is enough”
It couldn’t be. You felt nauseous, as though everything around you was spinning. Time and time again Jimin had told you to back off. That what you were feeling wasn’t real when you believed so strongly it was. Nothing about it made sense.
Suddenly Jimin’s flaws glared at you—he was in the resistance, fighting against the very peace you upheld. He was a violent person. He hung out with shady people in banned places. He broke rules which you followed no matter what. He smoked. He rode a motorcycle. He didn’t believe you were his soulmate—and you weren’t.
But you loved him.
And he, probably, loved you too.
Was the placebo effect real then? Did you fall in love just because you thought you were supposed to? If you never had the signal—never had the chip—would you have been able to look past your differences, and find what you did?
He had only just begun to believe. This would crush him.
“You have to tell him” Jungkook echoed your thoughts. You frowned, he was clearly deriving some joy from the fact that he was right about Jimin.
“Does this mean someone else out there is actually my soulmate? More compatible with me than Jimin?”
“Most likely” Jungkook confirmed, “Only way to know is to reset your chip. And only Dr. Kim himself can do that”
You turned to your calendar. The conference was only a few days away. What were you supposed to tell Jimin in the meanwhile? Should you avoid seeing him? Should you ignore this and just love him anyway?
“I-I gotta go” You scrambled to gather your things. Rushing to take a bus home, you barged into your apartment. Eyes wide as you noticed the entire place had been cleaned up. Nose twitching to the scent of something cooking—something delicious.
Jimin smiled warmly upon seeing you. You had left before he woke up, leaving him sound asleep with a kiss on the cheek.
“Morning doctor” He continued to go about his cooking. He looked adorable, sleepy hair and shirtless, cracking eggs into a pan. You wanted to cover him with kisses, “Hope you don’t mind, just thought I’d whip up some food. Aren’t you supposed to be at the lab?”
“I, yeah I uh”
“Oh taste this” Jimin took a spoon of some sauce he had made and quickly made his way over to you. Slipping the spoon in your mouth, your eyes widened as flavor burst in your mouth.
“Jimin” You mumbled as he took the spoon out, stealing a quick kiss. “Fuck that’s so spicy Jimin”
“Not your thing, doctor?” He pouted, “Damn, I love spicy food”
Your heart dropped. He’s not your soulmate. You’re not compatible.
He seemed to notice your unusual behavior.
“Hey baby, it’s okay. It’s just food preferences, not the end of the world”
“Jimin, we’re” You cleared your throat. “We’re not—”
“Oh, are you upset that I’m still here? Don’t worry I have class in the afternoon, I’ll be out of your way” Grabbing your hands he pulled you into a hug. Swaying your body left to right, you wanted to melt.
“Jimin” Your voice was breaking. Tears welling in your eyes.
“I know we don’t have everything figured out baby” He hummed against you. Pressing his lips on top of your head, “But for once, I think, I believe it’ll work out”
You broke.
Shattered into tears. You couldn’t possibly do this to him, not after everything you already put him through. How the hell were you supposed to tell the man you’d chased relentlessly that you weren’t supposed to be together?
“Baby,” Jimin held your face in his hands, searching with concern “Y/n, what’s wrong?”
You couldn’t breathe. Sobs blocking your air. Chest tight.
“Hey, easy baby” Jimin held your hand, guiding you to sit down on your bed. He knelt down by your side. Pressing his lips onto your knuckles. Across your wrist.
The odds were unlikely. But there was a slim chance that despite being a placebo match, he may actually still somehow be compatible with you. He may still be your real soulmate. You should wait until you knew for sure.
“I’m okay, sorry I just, got emotional” You wiped your tears away, chuckling. Jimin didn’t look like he quite believed you, but decided not to push it.
“Don’t apologize, doctor” He kissed your knee, “As long as you’re okay”
“Jimin”
“Yeah baby?”
“No matter what happens,” You sniffled, “I believe in you”
Jimin chuckled, stroking your face, “Babe what has gotten into you? Did Jungkook say something—I can beat that fucker to a pulp if he did, I am a vigilante after all”
You smiled. Because the man in front of you was dazzling. Despite the fights. Despite your differences. If this wasn’t true love, you weren’t sure you wanted whatever that was. This was all you needed. He was all you needed.
Which is why you owed it to him to be honest.
“We’re not actually soulmates”
Jimin simply blinked.
“It was a placebo, where the chip signals but we aren’t actually compatible. So the basis for everything we felt—or everything we think we feel, was a lie”
Silence. So haunting and so obscenely loud, you weren’t sure you’d survive it.
series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
a/n: HOPE YOU ENJOYED <3 i tried lmao, but plsssssss let me know what you think ive never written anything like this and wanna know what your reactions are!!! ask questions, give me your theories, any and all of it! <3 have a wonderful day cuties~
Summary: Jimin finally realizes he wants out of the friendzone, but will you feel the same way when he finally makes his feelings known?
AN: I finally found the time to write pt. 2. I hope you like it. I listened to “Fire Away” by John Michael Howell while writing this.
Read Part One.
The mood in this movie night has quickly shifted from playful banter between friends into one in which you feel judged for sharing that you had finally met someone. You feel yourself crawling into yourself more and more. For a moment, it feels like your friends were ganging up on you, deeming you as some unattractive, poor excuse for a woman who is unworthy of attention and love.
They didn’t actually say that, of course. But your mind has gone into the rabbit hole of overthinking that fast. At this point, you believe it’s becoming more of a second nature to you. You just can’t help it, and you hate yourself for it.
The whole conversation had really made you so self-conscious. You genuinely believe that Taehyung doesn’t mean to hurt you in any way. He’s not a bad person. He’s your best friend. But sometimes words could cut even if you don’t intend them to.
You just don’t get why he just had to make it sound like you’re making the biggest mistake of your life, that you’re being crazy for wanting to finally date.
What’s wrong with dating anyway? Don’t you have a right to meet guys and go out on actual dates?
Are you really that awful as a person to the point that even your friends would forbid you to go out with a guy you think is great?
You feel so betrayed. What kind of friends would gaslight you into thinking you aren’t good enough to date?
And if they tell you one more time that this is them being protective of you, then they’re being complete jerks. This is absurd, you think. You’re a consenting adult, capable of making choices for yourself. And you don’t need to be babied like a middle schooler.
By the time Jimin showed up, Taehyung started acting more frantic than he was prior. He’s still going on and on on why you can’t be thinking about going out with Namjoon. The other guys chimed in, too. Going so far as judging him because he’s a varsity player. But you genuinely think that Namjoon looks decent and nice for someone who plays sports.
He’s nothing like most jocks you’ve come across with in campus. Most of which have either been a fuckboy or a totally egotistic maniac. Namjoon was a great guy. And all these misconstrued notions they have of him is getting in your nerves.
Jimin has been quiet ever since. He hasn’t said a single word to you. He didn’t back you up like he usually does. He’s being too quiet, actually. You’ve been trying to catch his eyes but he hasn’t looked at you since he entered the room. He also suddenly picked a seat on the floor, instead of his usual spot next to you. It’s almost as if he’s suddenly ignoring you.
Feeling so frustrated, you fire back at Taehyung, raising your voice and startling everyone in the room.
“And why should I listen to you!? You’re not my dad, none of you are! You can’t tell me what I can or cannot do! ”
“Oh come on, that’s not even what I’m trying to do, y/n. I’m just worried about—“
“Worried about what?? Can’t you just be happy for me for once?! Damn it Tae!”
“Hey, hey, guys… Stop it. We came here to watch a movie and hang out. Come on.” Jin tries to pacify the tension while blocking your view of Taehyung.
“Right. I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to—“
You didn’t even let Tae finish, you stood up and made a beeline for the door.
Before you could hit the elevator button, a firm warm hand grips on your wrist.
“Y/n. Please… Don’t leave.”
You recognize Jimin’s voice. You feel the warmth of his body close to you. His scent overpowering you for a moment.
You scoff as you try to pry your hands away.
“So, now you speak. Where were you when Tae was in my face the whole time in there?”
You turn around with much force, yanking your arm away from his hold.
“He doesn’t mean it. He’s just—”
“—being Tae. Right. And I’m supposed to just let it slide, like every time?” You cut him off. Frustration and disappointment laced heavily in your tone.
“You know what, I’m sick and tired of taking all this shit from you guys. Whenever I talk to you about my dating life, you get like this. EVERY. DAMN. TIME! Am I not allowed to do that? Is there some kind of rule that I cannot go out there and meet people? I know you guys care about me, but for crying out loud, stop treating me like the helpless little sister you never had!”
The silence that followed your outburst was excruciating. Jimin was wide eyed as he watches you lash out on him, mouth agape and jaw stuttering before he could manage to respond.
“That’s not how I ever saw you.” His voice was soft it’s almost a whisper.
“What?” You ask.
“I never saw you as just a little sister y/n.” Jimin pauses to look at you.
You don’t understand where he’s trying to go with this but you keep mum and decide to let him talk.
“You were more than just that to me. You have no idea.” He scoffs. He keeps his eyes on you as continues to speak his mind.
“And can you please stop thinking that we’re ganging up on you. That we don’t care. That we’re out here to hurt you—God! That’s the last thing we’d ever want for you! And Tae—he’s just trying to… get me to do something about it.”
“About what?” You press him to go on.
Jimin seems hesitant to speak again but he decides it was now or never.
“Y/n, listen to me. Don’t go out with Namjoon. I—“
“Jimin, not you too! For fuck’s sake just—“
“I like you, okay!! There! I said it! I like you!” He cuts you off, hands thrown in the air.
You stop moving and breathing altogether. His sudden confession rendered you unable to speak. You didn’t really know how to respond to that. You feel like you’ve been blindsided by your best friend. You just stood there with eyes bulging, seemingly shocked at what he had just blurted out. Before you could figure out what to say, he’s talking again.
“Look, this isn't how I wanted to do this. Part of the reason Tae acted so rashly is because he knows I was supposed to tell you tonight after the movie but.. you just—I mean, you’ve started seeing people and you’re not supposed to—I mean, I can’t dictate what you can or cannot do.. but.. I haven’t… I just… I had to— God, why is this so hard!? I feel like an idiot!”
Jimin pauses to catch his breath. He rakes his fingers through his hair as frustration starts to crawl up to him.
Taking a step closer to where you’ve been frozen in place, Jimin takes your trembling hands in his. In another breath, he bares his soul to you.
“I’m in love with you y/n. I have for quite some time now. I just— I haven’t been brave enough to admit it. Even to myself. But I want to change that now. And this is me finally doing what I should have done the first time I realized it.”
Jimin watches you for any reactions. But you’re beyond speechless with how things turned out. You’re suddenly hyperaware of his existence in front you.
He’s held you like this before, so many times actually that you’ve lost count already. But the touch of his skin and the way he tightens his grip suddenly feels foreign to you. It almost feels wrong. Like he’s not supposed to hold you like this. He’s your best friend. He’s not supposed to touch you and tell you these absurd things while looking at you like… like he… like he’s actually in love with you.
“Please say something?” He demands with his voice that suddenly sounds so sweet yet yearning.
You look into his eyes as your mind goes haywire in full panic mode and all you can think of doing at the moment is the one thing you genuinely believe you’re good at—running.
And so that’s what you do. You run.
You run from this situation. From your best friend. From the feelings that suddenly feels so suffocating.
Your voice finds you as you tremble and break the contact to hastily step back into the elevator.
“I… I can’t— I can’t do this.. Jimin, I—I’m sorry.”
As you wait for the doors to close., the last image you see is Jimin’s hopeful eyes morph into pain. Like someone just ripped his heart out of his chest.
