Hawks had been gone all day, and you were neglecting yourself again. You just laid in bed, drifting in and out of sleep whenever you weren’t on your phone watching videos. You were having a bad day. You woke up, and you could just tell that you weren’t feeling well. It didn’t help that when you woke up, Hawks was already gone. The bed felt cold without the warmth of his wings wrapped around you. You kept the room dark, blocking out the sun as much as you could. You used videos to distract your thoughts from spiraling. You also used them to drown out the loud growling of your stomach. It was nearly 7 PM, and you hadn’t eaten anything or even gotten up that much. You felt groggy from sleeping so much. The sound from the speaker of your phone was distorted. Everything was out of focus in the darkness of your room. You were disconnecting from your body to ignore the growing pain in your stomach. You stared at the ceiling until it went out of focus. Tears welled up in your eyes, but there wasn’t a single thought forming in your mind. You stayed there, blankly staring upwards when you heard the door to your apartment open. There were footsteps followed by a tired sigh. “I’m home, baby bird.” You were relieved to hear Hawks’ voice. Still feeling out of it, you sat up in your bed. Your head spun upon the sudden movement after lying there for so long. You heard a soft knock, “You in there?”
“Yeah, you can come in.” The door opened to reveal your boyfriend, Hawks, still in his uniform with his vibrant red wings casually folded against his back.
“Why’s it so dark in here?” He walks over to you to softly kiss your lips. His touch burned and pricked your skin, making you cringe in discomfort. “What is it?” You didn’t want to tell him it made you uncomfortable in fear he’d take it in the wrong way, but after coming back to your body, being touched felt extremely overwhelming to the point it almost hurt. “Are you..okay?” He asked while observing your eyes with a concerned expression. You felt bad for making him worry. You looked down, staying silent. “Are you having a bad day?” You just nodded. Hawks gave you some space as he knew physical comfort wasn’t what you needed right now. He noticed that you seemed to be on edge with the way your body tensed at the slightest sound or movement. Everything was heightened for you. Every sound, every movement, every touch. Even though you felt alert, you also felt disconnected from your reality. Hawks lowered his voice, “Have you eaten anything, baby bird?” You processed his question for a moment before shaking your head slightly. Hawks just nodded to acknowledge your response. He wanted to avoid speaking too much in case it was too overwhelming. He left for a while, softly closing the door behind him. He tried to be quiet in the kitchen, but you could hear every step, clatter, and movement through the walls. You cringed at the sounds, covering your ears to drown them out. It’s like suddenly every sound was too loud. Hawks came back with some crackers and a bowl of soup. He set them on the bedside table, keeping his distance from you. He sat down in the chair at your desk. You sipped at the broth of the soup. You focused on the aroma of chicken, the warmth of the cup, and the savory flavor coating your tongue. It was comforting the way the soup warmed your empty stomach. You were starving. Hawks watched you eat your soup and munch on a cracker with a soft smile on his lips. He was proud of you for eating something even if he had to make it for you. “Can I talk or is it too loud?” You nodded while sipping the broth. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of you today. If I had known you were having a bad day, I would have tried to stay with you.”
“No, I’d feel bad if you did that.” You noticed your voice accidentally came off a bit sharp due to being slightly irritated. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound aggressive.”
“It’s okay, I know you’re anxious right now. Your brain is in survival mode to try and protect you. Can I give you a hug?” You thought for a moment. You knew you were feeling overwhelmed, but you also wanted no needed comfort. You hesitantly nodded your head. Hawks approached you cautiously, lightly wrapping his arms around you. Your skin burned at every touch, but you knew that you needed this. You focused on the warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne, and the feeling of his arms wrapped around you.
“Hawks?”
“Yes?” His voice was gentle, slightly muffled by your shoulder.
“Can you..wrap me in your wings?” You blushed slightly upon asking even though your face was already flushed due to the anxiety.
“Mhm,” he agreed before wrapping his wings around the both of you. You buried your head in his chest. You felt safe in his wings. It was almost like they acted as a shield to keep you safe from everything evil within the world. “Your heart is beating so fast. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “This is still a lot for me, but I want to tough through it.” Hawks tried not to move too much as every brush against your skin was hurting you.
“Take a deep breath for me, love.” You took a deep, shaky breath in. You closed your eyes to focus on the feeling of your lungs expanding. “And out,” you released your hold on your breath. He coached you through a few more deep breaths before you started to feel relaxed. Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you were comforting rather than uncomfortable. You pulled him in tighter, letting out a sob into his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. You did so good, baby bird. I’m so proud of you.” His chest vibrated as he spoke. You focused on the beating of his heart as you hiccuped from crying. You felt his hand softly petting your hair, which made your brain melt. You focused on the gentle touch of his fingers brushing through your hair. “I love you so much. I promise I’ll always help you through the bad days. Even if you push me away or say you’re fine, I’ll be here for you. I’ll shield you from all of the evil in the world and keep you safe.” You blinked tiredly as he spoke. His voice was lulling you to sleep. “Are you sleepy? Do you want to lie down together?” You nodded sleepily. Hawks lies down on his side after removing his shoes, pulling your back into his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. He buries his face in the back of your neck, his breath tickling your skin. You smile softly as you slowly drift off to sleep, finally feeling safe after a day of pure hell.
