word count: 3k+ | genre: fluff, smut | featured couple: 🐾🐰
synopsis: girl talk with jeno except he loves how cute you are so much that he can't help but sabotage it.
→ takes place during loverboy hendery's, call me
jeno hums in quiet amusement, leaning back in his computer chair, one arm hooked loosely around your waist while the other rests against the armrest.
his game sits forgotten on the screen, abandoned the second you climbed onto his lap.
you’re straddling him, knees on either side of his thighs, leaning forward slightly as you talk, completely unaware of how close you are. his gaze fixed entirely on you.
“jeno, you have nooo idea,” you whisper dramatically, leaning in like you’re about to reveal classified information.
his eyebrows lift immediately, playing along without hesitation.
“should i be worried?”
“no,” you say quickly, shaking your head before lowering your voice again, more serious now, “but honey told me something today.”
and here it is.
he’ll never admit it out loud.
but he loves girl talk with you.
not necessarily for the stories — though those can be entertaining too — half the time he barely knows who the people you’re talking about even are. the names blur together sometimes.
but…the way your eyes light up when you tell them?
that part he never misses.
jeno hums again, softer this time, his hand sliding absentmindedly along your back before settling at your waist, fingers resting there like they’ve memorized the shape of you.
“honey? that’s xiaojun’s girl, right?” he murmurs, piecing it together just enough.
you nod immediately, serious, like this is important.
“okay so apparently — and don’t! tell anyone because this is a top tier secret—” you pause, letting the suspense build, leaning even closer without realizing it, “—the leader of the pinks sorority,” your voice drops, “…and hendery.”
jeno’s head tilts slightly at the mention of his friend, “hendery? like wayv frat leader hendery?”
“yes,” you whisper urgently, eyes wide.
his mouth pulls into a quiet grin, clearly amused — not at the story, but at how invested you are.
“okayy,” he says slowly, dragging it out just a little, “continue.”
you lean in even closer, practically conspiratorial now, your hands coming up to rest on his shoulders without thinking.
“they’ve been secretly hooking up since sophomore year.”
jeno blinks, a bit of shock actually plastered on his face, “what?”
“crazy, right!” you gasp, hands lifting for emphasis before settling back on him, your energy spilling over into every movement.
jeno lets out a quiet breath of a laugh, shaking his head as he leans back slightly, the chair creaking under the shift.
“aren’t their houses like… rivals or something?”
you point at him instantly, eyes lighting up, “i know! that’s exactly what i said!”
he watches you for a moment. the way you lean forward every time you make a point, like the story pulls you closer. the way your lips move too fast for your thoughts, like you’re trying to get everything out at once before you forget.
his hand squeezes just slightly at your waist, grounding, steady.
“and nobody knew this?” he asks, quieter now, still playing along, still following, even if his focus is slipping back to you.
“apparently not,” you say, eyes wide, completely invested, “honey said they’ve been sneaking around for years. like secret meetups, late night stuff, the whole thing.”
jeno lets out a low whistle, head tipping back against the chair for a second before his gaze finds you again, “that’s kinda impressive.”
you stare at him, “jeno.”
“i’m just saying,” he laughs, lifting one hand in mock defense while the other stays right where it is on your waist, keeping you close without even thinking about it, “keeping a secret that long on a campus like this?” he shakes his head, amused, “that takes skill.”
you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling.
and jeno…he’s just focused on you.
because the truth is, he’s only half following the story now. the other half of his attention is on the way your eyes shine when you’re excited, the warmth of you sitting comfortably in his lap like it’s the most natural place in the world. like you belong there.
his thumb traces slow, lazy circles at your waist.
“so what else did she say?” he asks quietly, voice softer now, like he’s easing you right back into it.
your eyes light up immediately again, “okay wait…it gets juicier.”
jeno’s grin spreads, fond and a little amused, “oh, does it?”
you nod enthusiastically, already leaning in again — and he lets himself sink a little deeper into the chair, arms tightening loosely around you like he’s settling in, like he’s not going anywhere.
and he doesn’t want to.
because he could sit here all night listening to you ramble about campus gossip if it meant you stayed exactly where you are — straddling his lap, smiling like this, looking at him like he’s the only person you want to tell your secrets to.
“so apparently,” you continue, fully pulled back into the story now, your hands resting on his shoulders, fingers curling slightly into his shirt, “hendery is like… actually in love with her.”
jeno’s brows lift, playing along, “in love?”
“yes,” you say emphatically, “he’s been obsessed with her since sophomore year. apparently all the boys in wayv house know it too.”
jeno lets out a quiet hum, his hand resting comfortably at your waist, “that’s rough.”
“exactly,” you say, nodding rapidly, “because the problem is she refuses to commit.”
jeno tilts his head slightly, eyes still on you, “refuses?”
“yeah,” you sigh dramatically. “like they’ve been secretly hooking up for years but every time he tries to make it official she shuts it down.”
jeno’s mouth twitches, a quiet hint of a smile, “poor guy.”
“right?” you lean forward again, more animated now, pulled deeper into it, “honey said he literally tried to ask her to define the relationship and she told him—”
you stop.
just for half a second. because you feel something warm brush your skin. jeno’s lips. soft. barely there. against your collarbone.
you blink, momentarily thrown off — your words catching for just a beat before you push through it anyway.
“—she told him she didn’t want their houses involved in drama and—”
another kiss.
just as soft. just as distracting.
jeno hums quietly against your skin like he’s still listening, like nothing’s changed, his thumb still tracing slow circles at your waist.
you narrow your eyes slightly, glancing down at him.
“…jeno.”
his lips pause for a second, lingering just above your skin, but his hands don’t move from your waist — if anything, they tighten just a little, like he doesn’t want you shifting away.
“hmm?” he murmurs, voice low, innocent in a way that’s definitely not convincing.
“are you paying attention?”
“mhm,” he answers easily, lips brushing your collarbone again, soft and absentminded, like he’s doing it without thinking, “i am.”
you squint at him, clearly unconvinced, but you push forward anyway.
“anyway,” you continue, trying to gather your thoughts again, “so he’s been waiting for her to change her mind this whole time.”
jeno presses another kiss just below the first, slower this time, like he’s lingering on purpose.
“that’s dedication,” he murmurs against your skin.
your sentence stumbles into a warning, “…jeno.”
“what?” he asks, tone light, but his lips are still hovering there, barely pulling away.
you inhale quietly, trying to refocus.
“as i was saying,” you continue, stubborn now, determined to get through it, “honey said the boys think she keeps him around because she likes him but she doesn’t want the responsibility of actually dating him.”
jeno hums in response, drawing you in closer without asking. another kiss. this one slower. warmer. you inhale a little sharper this time before forcing yourself to keep going.
“and apparently he still drives her home every time they meet up and—”
kiss.
“jeno.”
“yeah?” he replies softly.
you try to glare at him but it’s difficult when he looks so relaxed, so completely at ease — chin dipped slightly, eyes half-lidded as he presses another gentle kiss along your collarbone like he has all the time in the world. completely innocent. and completely distracting.
“you’re ruining our girl talk.”
jeno smiles faintly against your skin, the corner of his lips brushing you, “am i?”
“yes,” you say, firmer this time, even if your voice wavers just a little.
he finally pulls back, just enough to look up at you, expression calm, unreadable — but there’s something playful sitting right behind his eyes.
he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“finish the story,” he says, like nothing happened, thumb still tracing slow circles at your waist, grounding, steady. “i’m listening.”
you stare at him for a second, trying to decide if you believe that. then you sigh dramatically.
“ok so,” you continue, though your voice is a little less steady now, “so honey thinks hendery is eventually going to snap and demand she either commits or—”
your words falter.
because jeno’s not even pretending anymore. his gaze flickers from your eyes to your lips for just a second, then back up again — slow, deliberate, like he’s weighing something. like he’s deciding. his hand shifts slightly at your waist, thumb pressing a little more firmly this time.
“or…what?” he asks quietly, a teasing glint in his eye.
he doesn’t sound all that interested in hendery anymore. and it’s getting harder to focus on words when his lips brush your skin like that.
screw the girl talk.
you lean in, capturing his lips with yours, with absolutely no warning. jeno’s eyes widen for a split second in surprise, then flutter shut as he responds eagerly, his mouth parting to deepen the kiss, tongue slipping past your lips.
“bunny,” he chuckles against your lips, the sound vibrating through you as his hands grips your hip, pulling you flush against him.
“—or what?” he teases, again.
“it can wait,” you say breathlessly, your fingers threading through his soft hair to tug him back in.
his lips meets yours again, soft at first, but the heat builds quickly as you sink deeper into it.
he parts from the kiss for a second, fingers gently reaching up, careful and tender, hooking the arms of your glasses and sliding them off your face, setting them aside on the desk. his touch lingers on your cheek for a moment before returning to pull you closer, tilting his head and connecting your mouths fully, tongue sliding in, slow, exploratory, tasting you with languid strokes that curl against yours.
his hands roam slowly up your sides, fingers tracing the hem of your t-shirt before slipping beneath it to graze your bare skin. his touch igniting sparks.
you follow his lead, the rhythm he’s set unhurried but intense. the kiss turns wet and thorough, saliva mixing as he sucks gently on your tongue, drawing a soft moan from your throat.
“mmm,” he hums into your mouth, breaking only for air, nipping at your lower lip, then diving back in.
your fingers curl into his hair, pulling him even closer as you tilt your head to give him better access, the kiss turning sloppy, tongues sliding insistently.
the chair creaks faintly as you shift your hips, grinding down against the growing bulge in his sweats. his thick cock hardening beneath you, pressing up through the layers — your leggings and his sweats creating just enough friction to make your pussy throb.
jeno groans low, the sound muffled against your lips and he bucks up lazily, matching your roll with a deliberate thrust.
you pull back a fraction, panting, your lips glistening from the thorough attention.
“this better be worth ruining girl talk,” you tease, voice breathy.
his eyes are dark, hooded with desire, but a playful smirk tugs at his swollen lips.
“oh, it will be,” he murmurs, capturing your lips once more in a slow, sucking kiss that leaves you dizzy.
one hand slides down to your ass, squeezing, guiding your movements, urging you to hump against him harder.
the dry friction builds heat fast — his dick grinding right against your clit with each pass, your wetness soaking into your panties.
you rock steadily now, the pace still teasing, playful pushes and pulls that have him breathing raggedly into the kiss. his tongue laps at yours in mirroring slowness, hot and wet, while his free hand cups your neck, thumb stroking your jaw to keep you locked in the makeout.
every grind sends jolts of pleasure through you, his cock so rigid it outlines perfectly against your pussy.
“fuck,” he whispers, parting from your lips and trailing kisses down your jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin there, “want more of you,” he murmurs against your neck, voice rough and low.
his fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings, tugging them down quickly. you lift your ass slightly to help, the fabric peeling away from your skin, exposing the damp spot on your panties where your arousal has already soaked through.
he slides the leggings off your legs completely, letting them pool on the floor. the air feels cool against your heated skin but jeno’s warmth presses right back in as he pulls you flush against him again.
his hands immediately return to your ass, palms cupping the full cheeks, squeezing hard enough to make you gasp. his grip is firm, possessive, thumbs pressing into the crease where your thighs meet your ass, spreading you open just a bit as he guides your hips down to his clothed bulge.
you grind against him immediately, the friction now more direct, your panty covered pussy rubbing along the length of his cock through his sweats. he’s so hard. the outline thick and throbbing. you’re so wet. the fabric of your panties growing slicker, you can feel it leaking out — dampening his sweats, leaving a visible wet patch on the grey material.
jeno’s gaze drops, fixated on the sight of you grinding slowly on his lap. he can’t look away, eyes glued to the way your soaked panties cling to your folds, the dark stain spreading wider as you bounce a little faster.
“shit,” he breathes out, voice strained, one hand sliding up to grip your hip tighter, urging you to keep that rhythm.
you moan in response, the direct pressure on your clit sending sparks up your spine, making your thighs tremble as you grind down harder.
“neno,” you whimper, nails scraping over his shoulders through his t-shirt, your body arching into the friction, your pussy throbbing, clenching at the tease of his hardness so close yet not inside.
“you’re killing me, bunny,” he groans deep in his throat, fingers digging deeper into your ass, spreading you wider so your clit catches perfectly on his tip with each bounce.
his breaths come ragged, chest heaving, and you feel him twitch violently beneath you, the heat of his arousal seeping through.
the sight of him so entranced, eyes dark and hooded, lips parted as he watches your body work him over — it pushes you further. you let out a breathy moan, picking up the pace just a touch, bouncing with more intent, your panties so drenched they slide slickly against his sweats.
“feels so good,” you gasp, head falling forward to rest against his shoulder for a moment, but you don’t stop, hips rolling in tight circles. your core tightens, pleasure coiling hot and insistent, but jeno’s reactions hit you harder — his grip bruising your ass, pulling you down forcefully now, like he’s chasing something urgent.
“fuck—can’t... hold it,” he grunts suddenly. his cock jerks hard against you, and then he’s cumming, hot spurts soaking into his sweats as his hips buck up uncontrollably — head thrown back against the chair, lips parted in a silent groan that turns into a low, guttural moan. his face twists in ecstasy, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks flushed, completely fucked out and lost in it.
the wet warmth spreads under you, mixing with your own slickness, making the friction even messier as you keep moving through his release.
you smirk down at him, satisfied, slowing your bounces to a teasing grind, savoring the vision of jeno unraveling beneath you — his chest rising and falling harshly, a sheen of sweat on his neck, that dazed look in his eyes as he finally blinks up at you.
“have i ever told you how pretty you look like that?” you say, pulling a low chuckle from his chest.
“you’re prettier,” he murmurs, voice thick and gravelly, one hand sliding from your ass up to your lower back, holding you steady as the other dips between your bodies, and into your soaked panties.
his thumb presses directly against your clit, starting a slow, firm rub that tightens that coil in your stomach again.
“oh god, jeno,” you gasp, the direct pressure igniting every nerve, your hips snapping forward on instinct.
you cling to him tighter, arms wrapping around his neck, fingers threading into his hair as you bury your face against his shoulder as you grind down desperately, rolling your hips in urgent, needy circles, chasing that building fire while his thumb continues circling your swollen nub.
you can’t hold back, the moans spilling from your lips right by his ear — soft, breathless whimpers.
his favorite sounds. right next to you yapping his ear off.
your pussy clenches around nothing, thighs trembling as you hump against him faster, the chair groaning under the frantic pace.
“yes, right there,” you plead, voice breaking into a whine, nails scraping lightly at his scalp as your hips buck wildly.
he doesn’t let up, thumb flicking side to side now, then rubbing broad and fast, his free arm tightening around your waist to keep you pinned close, absorbing every desperate roll of your body.
“you’re gonna soak me, aren’t you?,” he growls low, breath hot against your skin.
you nod frantically, moans spilling hot and ragged against his neck, until you break with a breathless whine, body seizing as your orgasm rips through you, pussy pulsing wildly, gushing wetness over his hand, clinging to him as he holds you steady.
your body hums with the aftershocks, chest heaving as you slump against jeno's shoulder, the world fuzzy around the edges from that shattering release. he doesn't rush you, just wraps both arms around your body, tracing gentle, soothing circles along your spine beneath the rumpled t-shirt.
you feel his lips brush feather-light kisses against the exposed skin of your neck, then your collarbone, warm and tender pecks that make your eyelids flutter in contentment.
minutes slip by like that, your breaths syncing up as the haze clears, his steady heartbeat thumping under your cheek.
finally, you push yourself up a little, propping on his chest, the sticky evidence of your combined messes cooling between you.
jeno's eyes meet yours, a teasing glint sparking in them as he tilts his head, voice low and playful.
“so…you were saying? what does honey think hendery is gonna do?”
you blink at him, the post-orgasm glow fading into a sudden wave of annoyance.
your cheeks heat — not from arousal this time, but from the sheer audacity of him circling back to that gossip like nothing happened.
glaring at him, you huff, crossing your arms over your chest.
“ugh, see—this is why i prefer girls’ talk with the girls,” you pout, lips pursing in exaggerated frustration, “you’re too distracting.”
that earns a wide, amused grin from him, his hands sliding down to grip under your thighs, fingers digging into the soft flesh there.
“let me distract you some more,” he teases, voice husky with renewed intent, before he lifts you effortlessly off his lap.
a surprised squeal escapes your lips as he stands, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist.
he carries you the short distance to his bed and drops you onto the rumpled sheets with a playful bounce, hovering over you immediately, bracing on his forearms to cage you in, his body heat enveloping you.
“and you wonder why no boys are allowed in girl talk,” you joke, reaching up to trace a finger along his jaw, your voice light but laced with challenge.
both of you are smiling now, breaths mingling in the close space, the air thick with that easy, flirtatious energy before his lips press onto yours again
🐰
an: i finished this earlier when i thought was doing okay. i unfortunately am so so sad again so this is probably my last fic for a while. i will try to get orgasm donor johnny out before april ends but i’m gonna be honest chiefs, writing smut is really hard rn 😔💔😣anyways, i hope the loverboys and lovergirls are able to cheer everyone up a bit! ♥️ captain jeno is back with his freaky ass panty kink in this one heheheh
btw if you want a specific scenario with a specific couple, you can always leave the idea in my ask box! (i can’t promise i’ll write it, but if the idea really speaks to me, i might)
synopsis -> park jisung has sworn off love after being cheated on. he’s been doing a really great job breaking hearts and not looking back. the boys are worried that they’ve taken fuckboy101 too seriously and have now created the ultimate fuckboy. this conversation was heard by your group of friends who never backs away from a challenge. and so the bets are on: get the ultimate fuckboy to fall in love with you and you’ll get $125 from each friend. deal?
warnings -> guaranteeing a sweetness that will hurt you, pet name unlocked: cherry, too many y/n’s in one room pt. 2, crying, the angst is heavy in this one!!, cheating, deception, reader is known as the cold hearted girl who doesn’t fall in love, emosung, +18, crude humor, language, parties, fuckboys, drinking, magic mike jisung, descriptive nipple play, rough sex, he fucks your tits + obsessed with marking them, jisung is big, emphasis on size kink!!!, mirror sex, lazy morning sex, attempt at shower sex, bathroom sex, masturbation (m+f), exhibitionism, riding him in the photo-booth, doggy style, unprotected sex, the pull out method, cowgirl, spanking, oral (m+f), fingering, pain kink, begging, dirty talk!!!, overstimulation, brief mentions of: virginity, morning after pills, thirst traps, pregnancy, vibrator, fake orgasm.
an -> the sixth installment of the loverboy series is excitingly yours! this is literally all the tropes roped into one. i did not give him piercings im sorry…but i did! give you boobie-obsessed jisung and i think the most smut scenes in the history of the loverboy universe! there’s also a fun little thirst trap video in here, make sure to click it ;) important things to note -> 1) jisung was the fuckboy in making turned into the ultimate fuckboy due to fuckboy101 classes with markhyuck 2) all of the boys, except renjun, are happily in love! have fun reading, i’ll be waiting for your reactions. with love, c.
🍒 DECEMBER 14 - USE CODE JISUNG69.
“what the hell is this?,” jisung mutters, squinting as he pushes open the gym doors. the fluorescent lights hum overhead, casting a dull glow on the otherwise empty basketball court – empty except for the six dream boys sitting in a circle, like they were hosting a cult meeting. every single one of them turns to look at him in unison, like he’d just walked into a stage where he was the star of the show.
“this is your intervention,” renjun says calmly, arms folded across his chest like he was the head counselor at the rehab facility.
jisung pauses, then lets out a low, disbelieving chuckle, “intervention for what exactly? being too good at life?”
“you’ve become a menace,” jaemin says, shaking his head like a disappointed dad, “do you even know how many people on campus have a picture of your dick?”
haechan shakes his head, “you’ve singlehandedly skyrocketed the sales of morning-after pills…they’re probably gonna name a discount code after you.”
jisung smirks, “JISUNG69 has a good ring to it,” he laughs, cocking his head proudly, leaning against the nearest bleacher but he was the only one who found it funny, “come on hyungs, i’m just doing what you guys taught me. don’t be mad if the student surpassed the masters.” it was true. fuckboy101, they called it. a dumb joke at first. it started freshman year, when jisung found out the girl he’d planned his future around had been cheating on him for months. he was wrecked. could barely eat, couldn’t sleep. so the older boys took it into their own hands: teach him how to stop feeling. step one - hook up. step two - don’t feel. step three - repeat until you forget who hurt you in the first place. but somewhere along the way, jisung mastered the syllabus and rewrote the course.
“dude,” mark groans, “you got cheated on. we were trying to help you survive, not turn into a full-time asshole.”
“freshman year was different,” jeno adds, voice soft, always the gentlest with him, “back then, you were hurting. you needed the distraction. but now… it’s like you’re addicted to the performance.”
“it’s not a performance,” jisung argues, crossing his arms, the smirk returning like armor, “i’m just living my best life.”
“you’re living in denial,” chenle cuts in bluntly, no hesitation, “every girl you sleep with is someone you ghost and every time you laugh it off, you just look more hollow. it’s not hot anymore. it’s pathetic.” that one lands. jisung stiffens, the smirk faltering for a split second. the air tightens. then he laughs. it’s not light. it’s sharp and cynical, a little too loud for the room.
“oh, i get it,” he says bitterly, his voice dipping into something dangerous, “just because you’re all in love now, you think it’s real? you think it’s forever?”there’s a beat of silence. jisung’s lips curl into something venomous, “your girls are probably out cheating on all of you right now.”
the words land like a punch – ugly, uninvited, and way too personal. everyone freezes. the silence that follow isn’t just tense, it’s disgusted. the image he plants in their heads is too graphic, too cruel. he knows it. that’s why he said it.
“jesus,” jaemin mutters, jaw clenching, like he’s holding himself back from standing, “dude, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“stop projecting,” chenle snaps, his voice sharp now, nothing soft or understanding about it anymore, “just because she broke you doesn’t mean the rest of us are doomed to get screwed over too.”
mark holds up a hand before it escalates further, “that’s not you talking,” he says slowly, voice steady, almost sad, feeling very responsible, “that’s your hurt talking. and it’s turning you into someone we don’t even recognize.”
renjun’s voice is softer when he speaks, but no less pointed, “take it from the only other single guy here, you’re pushing everyone away before they can even get close, it’s like you want to prove no one sticks around so badly, you make sure they don’t.”jisung says nothing. just clenches his jaw, fists tight at his sides. his smirk is gone. what’s left is something colder, blanker. a shield he’s worn for too long. he turns on his heel and walks out without another word, footsteps echoing across the court. the door slams behind him. the court falls into silence again, except this time — it's full of guilt.
renjun exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose, “god, i told you guys he was too far gone.”
“don’t say that,” haechan murmurs, still staring at the door, “he’s not. he’s just…lost.”
mark swallows, voice barely above a whisper, “and we’re the ones who handed him the map.”
the night air hits him. cold. damp. too real. jisung exhales sharply as he storms out of the gym, fists shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie. the slamming door behind him does nothing to silence the voices ringing in his head: “you’re living in denial” “it’s pathetic” “you’re pushing everyone away before they can even try to stay.” he walks blindly, past the buildings, the trees, the vending machines that always ate his coins. the campus is dead quiet, except for the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement — it should feel peaceful. it doesn’t. it feels suffocating. like the silence is pressing on his chest. he stops beneath a flickering lamp post, kicking at a loose stone on the ground. it skitters away uselessly, just like everything else lately. he runs both hands through his hair, tugging hard at the roots. “fuck.” they were right. that’s what makes it worse. he knows he’s been falling. he’s known it for a while now – since the hookups stopped feeling exciting, since the girls started blurring together, since his own name stopped feeling like his. he doesn’t even know who he is anymore without the act. and the thing that scares him the most? he can’t remember the last time he was actually present. the last time he said something and meant it. the last time breathing felt like breathing and not just going through the motions. he used to be the kid who danced like his heart was on fire, who cried when he got the lead in his first showcase, who actually believed in things like forever and soulmates. who wrote love letters and had faith in fate — now he wakes up in strangers’ sheets and can’t remember what he dreamt. now he flirts like it’s a reflex and kisses like it means nothing. now he puts on different smiles and still feels the same emptiness every night. like something inside of him has died and no one noticed. not even him. but having them see it, say it, like they’re peeling open his chest and pointing at the hollow parts makes him want to scream. it makes him want to destroy something just so he can feel in control of the falling. because if he’s the one choosing it – this spiral, this recklessness, then maybe it’s not as pathetic as it feels. maybe it means he still has some kind of power left.
he sits on the low edge of a planter box, elbow on his knees, staring down at the concrete like it might give him answers. his jaw clenches so tightly it aches, “i’m not the one who’s lost,” he mutters to no one, voice hoarse, “they are.” but even he doesn’t believe it. he swallows hard. his throat burns. the back of his eyes sting. no tears fall. he doesn’t let them anymore. not since her. not since he realized that loving people only gives them the power to break you. not since he promised himself no one would ever get close enough to wreck him again. he laughs bitterly under his breath, wiping a hand over his face like he could scrub the shame off. they think he’s heartless, cruel, and toxic — they’re not wrong. but at least this version doesn’t get left behind. doesn’t beg. doesn’t hope. doesn’t play the fool. at least this version of him knows how to survive. even if it means never really living again.
🍒 DECEMBER 15 - THE ULTIMATE FUCKBOY.
your table was chaotic as usual. dongpyo was making a tiktok, sion was halfway through a rant about the new dance professor and sophia was trying to steal fries off everyone’s trays with zero remorse. and then there was karina, leaned back in her chair, sipping her iced coffee with a smug little smile on her lips. like she was the only one in the room who had the full picture. because she was —karina hadn’t meant to hear it. she was only there to pick up her water bottle from the locker room that she left behind after cheerleading practice. the gym had been mostly empty, lights dimmed for the night, except for one glaring row still on near the court. voices. she heard them before she even opened the locker room door. familiar. sharp. heated — you noticed that wicked glint in her eyes first. the one she only ever got when she was about to ruin someone’s life for sport. she waited until dongpyo finally finished his tiktok to announce it.
“i have your challenge,” she said, pointing at you with her straw, “it’s your turn.”
the whole table froze like a scene in a teen drama. sophia gasped, “wait, have we finally found the perfect challenge? she’s long overdue.”
“everyone else had one,” sion nodded, “mine was making that TA fall in love with me.”
“i convinced that film major to write a full short script about me, a tragic romantic lead,” dongpyo adds. they all turned to you now – smirking, expectant. you leaned back in your seat, “okay. hit me.”
karina’s smile widened, “make jisung fall in love with you.”
time stopped. then the table collectively reacted—“no,” sophia gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth.
“oh my god,” dongpyo whispered.
you blinked slowly, “park jisung?”
karina nodded, “the one and only.”
sion looked like he’d just watched someone propose public arson, “that’s insane. he doesn’t even believe in love.”
“that’s the point,” karina grinned, “he’s the final boss. the ultimate fuckboy. no feelings. no commitment. basically allergic to love.” she paused for dramatic effect, “and you have until new year’s eve, that gives you two weeks.”
“sixteen days,” sion corrected, pulling up his calendar, “sixteen days to pull of a miracle.”
dongpyo was already buzzing, “okay, but imagine if you do it. that’s legendary.”
karina raised her iced coffee like a toast, “get him to fall in love with you, actually say the word love and boom – you win. $125 from each of us.” you glanced around the table. that was a total of $500. on paper. easy money. and you were feeling a lot more confident because you knew something they didn’t. that night. two years ago.
FRESHMAN YEAR: DECEMBER 24
the dream boys had gone all out for their first ever christmas eve party. strobe lights bouncing off the keg. music pulsing hard enough to shake the floor. bodies everywhere, pressed into each other, grinding on the makeshift dance floors, laughing too loud. glitter stuck to sweaty necks and polyester santa skirts clung to thighs. someone was wearing a santa costume with way too much confidence. someone else was dressed up as a reindeer. it was all a mess and it smelled like regret. you were halfway through your second jungle juice, trying not to die in your red heels, when you saw him slouched against the wall, red cup in hand, hood up even though it was hot as hell inside. his eyes looked tired. not drunk-tired. sad-tired. like he hadn’t slept in days. not even trying to mask the kind of ache you learned to recognize. sadness hiding in flirtation. that’s what he was. someone trying too hard to pretend he was having fun. you hadn’t really talked before, but you recognized him from class — park jisung. dance major. first year. just like you. you’d danced together once during partner improv. he was light on his feet, good with rhythm, awkward when the music stopped. the first time you noticed him he was wearing oversized glasses that kept sliding down his nose. tonight, his hoodie was zipped halfway done, revealing a sliver of collarbone and the thin chain around his neck. his face had lost the softness from orientation week, jaw more defined, hair styled like he tried. he looked cooler. that fake kind of cool that didn’t quite match the awkward, lanky kid he still clearly was under the hoodie. he looked up, met your gaze, blinked like he was surprised you saw him. you stopped in front of him, tilting your head, “you look like you’re at the wrong party.”
he gave a short, humorless laugh, “i’m doing my homework.”
you raised a brow, “is that a metaphor or…?”
he shrugged, took a sip of his drink, “mark and haechan says i can’t graduate heartbreak until i finish fuckboy 101, apparently the final exam of the year is sleeping with someone hotter than your ex.”you didn’t even pretend to be shocked. you’d heard the story. his high school girlfriend. the one who wore a purity ring and promised they'd’ both wait for marriage. turns out she wasn’t waiting at all. not when there were upperclassmen willing to bend her over a desk three months into the school year. the video spread throughout the campus. she transferred schools. jisung had stayed behind, bruised but breathing. the dream boys took him under their wing immediately after. and you weren’t doing any better. you’d just gotten ghosted by someone who said “you didn’t care enough.” whatever that meant. so here you were, both cracked open in your own ways. both leaning against the wall at a frat party where poor decisions floated in jungle juice and strobe lights.
“how’s the course going?,” you asked.
he sighed, “stuck on the finals,” he tipped his beer, “cheers to losing your virginity after your girlfriend.”
“i’ve never done it either,” you said. calm. clear. “figured i’d wait then realized i didn’t actually care anymore.”
he blinked, “wait…you’re a virgin?”
you looked at him, nodded, “wanna pop each other’s cherries and call it a night?”
his jaw dropped slightly, “are you serious?”
you shrugged, meeting his eyes, “you want to pass your final exam. i want to stop waiting. neither of us wants romance. so?”
he stared at you like you just offered to solve climate change, “unless you’re still waiting for fate or whatever,” you added. he lets out a slow, disbelieving laugh, then held out his hand, “come on, cherry.”
you blinked, “what?”
he grinned like he just came up with the best nickname in the world, “if we’re popping each others cherries, the name fits, right?”
you groaned, “that’s the dumbest nickname i’ve ever–”
“too late,” he said, already leading you up the stairs, “it’s canon.” his room was surprisingly clean. the bed had actual sheets. straightened, even. the blue led lights running along his ceiling gave everything a hazy, aquarium-glow vibe. there was a single hoodie on the floor and an unopened can of monster on his desk, right beside his forgotten glasses. you hovered awkwardly near his dresser, heart pounding, skin already warm with nerves. the music from the party downstairs pulsed faintly through the door. jisung shut the door behind you with a soft click. his hand lingering on the doorknob like he was buying himself a few more seconds of courage. “so, uh…,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “should we like…set the mood?”
you blinked, “what?, you wanna light a candle and put on the weeknd?”
he laughed, a real one this time, “i don’t know! i’ve never done this before, it might sound better than dead silence and me panicking.”
you kicked off your shoes, “i guess music might help?,” you ask and he nods, immediately pulling out his phone, fumbling with the bluetooth. after a few taps, a sultry beat filled the room – the first song on a playlist that had clearly been curated.
i’m just a bachelor…looking for a partner…someone who knows how to ride…
you stared, “wait. is this—”
if you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony…
“don’t judge me,” he cuts in, cringing as he sits on the edge of his bed, “the boys made this for me, they said i’d need it once i finally…you know.”
“turn it off!” you said, already laughing. he scrambled to shut it off, almost dropping his phone in the process. you made your way to the edge of his bed, a full foot away from him, “do you have a condom?” he jumped up, pulled opened his nightstand drawer where he knew jaemin threw some in for him some time last month going on and on about how important it is to practice safe sex and how this frat house wasn’t ready to raise a child. he held it up, eyes widening a little bit at the words XL written on the packet, “uhhm, check,” he says, letting out an awkward cough as he made his way back next to you.
you raised an eyebrow, “do you know how to put it on?”
“...i watched a youtube video once. it was animated,” he stutters out.
“perfect. two virgins, one mission,” you try to joke around. there was a beat of silence. you looked at each other one more time. a mutual agreement. before finally leaning in — the first kiss was soft. hesitant. lips brushing more than pressing. a breath shared between nerves. the second was better. his hand cupping the back of your head, thumb brushing your cheek. his mouth was warm. you tilted your head, fingers tugging lightly at the fabric of his hoodie. you broke apart, cheeks flushed, a little breathless, “do we take our clothes off now? or is there a countdown?”
“i was just gonna start,” he said, tugging off his hoodie in one quick motion. his shirt rode up, flashing pale skin and the outline of his abs. you followed, pulling your shirt over your head. his eyes flicked to your chest then darted away, ears burning red. clothes peeled off with a mixture of clumsy hands and nervous giggles. there was no grace to it. at one point, he stubbed his toe against the bed frame and swore under his breath. you didn’t look at each other too long. too intimate. too real. better to laugh through it.
“left hook,” you muttered as he fumbled with your bra.
“i was getting there,” he grinned, flustered. but once you were down to nothing, the air shifted. you both froze, suddenly hyper-aware of everything – breath, skin, the heat rushing up your necks. he looked at you, all flushed skin and hesitation, and whispered, “you’re really pretty.”
you frowned, trying to hide the blush that was sneaking it’s way to your cheeks, “that’s dangerously close to romance.”
he smirked, “fine. you’ve got excellent tit symmetry.” you laughed then laid back. he hovered above you, knees braced on either side of your thighs, his hands sinking into the mattress beside your ribs. his skin is warm against yours. chest to chest, heartbeats out of sync. his breath feathered across your jaw, “is this okay?” he whispered.you nodded, “yeah.” he kissed you again — deeper this time, tongue sliding softly against yours before moving down. his lips trailed from your jaw to your neck, pausing with each inch like he was asking without asking. his nervous hands gently brushed over your breasts, eyes flicking up to meet yours for permission. you nodded again. and he lowered his mouth to your chest. warm. experimental. he was trying, earnestly. he took his time, sucking on your breasts, softly, reverently, a little too cautious, tongue flicking over skin clumsily before making his way down to your stomach, your thighs, fingers slipping between your legs with shy curiosity.
he looked up from between your legs, almost sheepish, “tell me if i’m doing it wrong.” you nodded. your chest rising and falling, excitement and nerves coursing through your veins. he slid a finger in slowly, your breath hitched. then his tongue followed through, tentative licks that turned sure when you gasped, “right there,” you moaned quietly, “that’s good,” he sucked carefully, learning your body like a choreography. he was a quick learner, adjusting to your sounds, every twitch of your hips, every short gasps but it was feeling dragged on and you just wanted to get this over with, “jisung, i’m gonna come.” he didn’t stop until you finished moaning, kissing your thigh, grinning up at you, “you’re better at that than i expected,” you say.
he laughs, “i would sure hope so, i had a couple lessons on how to eat a girl out.”
you laugh in disbelief, “get the condom.” he tore the packet open…the wrong way. the foil ripped straight down the middle, narrowly missing the actual condom, “shit,” he hissed.
“off to a strong start,” you teased.
“give me a break, i’m under pressure,” his voice trembled slightly as he pulled out the condom and stared at it like it was a high-level math equation. then he rolled it on with a shaky hand, trying to remember the way the boys told him how to put it on. he lined himself up, hoping to god he put the condom on correctly and his eyes searched for yours again.
“you ready?,” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“yeah,” you said, breath shallow, “you?”
he nodded, then added, “if i like…die mid-thrust, tell the boys i was brave.” you laughed, “just do it.” finally, he pushed in and the stretch made you hiss instantly, body immediately locking up. he was big.
“shit–are you okay?,” he asked immediately, freezing, barely halfway in as he tried to push away the groan begging to escape his lips. his voice was all panic and guilt, “d-did i do something wrong? am i–did i hurt you?”
“no.” you rushed to say, swallowing hard, gripping his arms, eyes shutting in pain, “it’s just…,” you suck in a breath, “you-re–uh…bigger than i expected.” his eyes widened, “r-really? like…in a good way or a what the hell is that kind of way?” he was trying so hard to talk. to ignore the way he feels like he’s about to bust any second now. you let out a shaky laugh, trying to calm yourself down and adjust to him, “i don’t know, i have nothing else to compare it to.”
“i-i can pull out,” he offered, like the gentleman he was, “we can stop. i’ll go put on pony again as punishment.”
“no–no, it’s okay,” you smiled, your grip on him loosening just a little bit, cheeks hot, “just give me a second.” he nodded, holding as still as a statue. his forehead was damp, his eyes were locked on yours like he was afraid to blink and every second that he doesn’t move is starting to hurt. you were so tight. so warm. it felt way too good. a few seconds passed and you gave him a small nod, “okay, you can move. just…slow, please.”
he nodded, resuming his movement with a delicacy of someone handling glass. he let out a breathless moan as he slid in the rest of the way, “oh my god,” he whispered, “i-i can’t…t-this feels…insane.” you both laughed breathlessly, even as your legs trembled slightly and he was panting really hard, trying to stay in control of his own body. he started thrusting. “fuck—holy shit—you’re s-so tight,” the pace was uneven, but there was something sincere about it. something that made your chest ache in the best way. he was trying and you were both figuring it out. he let out another strangled moan, hips stuttering, “i-i don’t think i’m gonna last.”
“it’s okay,” you said softly. you clung to him, breath hitching from the stretch and the closeness and the ridiculousness of it all. it was chaos. sweat. and genuine effort that was sweeter than you expected. the sounds he made were helpless and desperate, his grips on your hips tightening like he was afraid he’d float away. he managed maybe a few more sharp thrusts before he stilled completely, letting out the softest whimper as he collapsed over you, completely spent, chest heaving. “oh my god—that was…i’m so sorry. that was so fast, it just felt really good,” he looked at you with wide, apologetic eyes, almost like a shocked hamster, before flopping back against his pillows, trying to catch his breath. you laughed, turning your head to face him “at least one of us enjoyed it.”
“don't look at me,” he groaned, covering his face with a pillow, ears bright red, “this is the worst performance of my life, i’m gonna get roasted in the group chat if they ever find out.” you smiled, sitting up and hooking your bra back on, there was a slight soreness around your legs but it wasn’t bad, “want me to tell them that you were so good you made me cum twice on your first try?” — he peeked at you from where he lay sprawled on the bed, arm flung over his face, a smirk tugged at his lips, “nah, they’ll know you’re lying for sure. i almost cried when they asked a girl to give me my first ever blowjob.” you burst out laughing, tugging your shirt over your head, “well, at least you didn’t cry this time.”
“thanks for letting me fail sex in peace,” he reached over blindly and handed you your skirt, “are you okay?”
“i’m okay, i didn’t really expect anything else but that,” you grinned, putting it on, “thanks for lasting at least thirty seconds.”
he laughed, “brutal,” he grabbed his boxers off the floor and slipped them on, “round two is gonna blow your mind.” you grinned, poking his cheek and he scrunched his nose up like a kid, “i’ll believe it when i feel it.”
but round two never came. no rain check. no late night texts. no next time. you never talked about it again. not once. not during warm-ups in the dance studio. not even when you both got casted in the same contemporary piece sophomore year and had to press your bodies together in sync for eight straight counts. it stayed unspoken. like the bloodstain you left behind on his sheet that you were both too polite to acknowledge out loud. a mark that something changed. proof of the night you spent together. the line you crossed clumsily and awkwardly — jisung moved on fast and loud. girls left his room still fixing their hair. not one ever stayed the night. rumors spread like wildfire – his stamina, his smirk, his fingers, his massive cock that apparently left girls limping down the hallway and giggling behind their hands. there was always a new name, a new story, sometimes two in the same night. he laughed about it. shrugged when the guys teased him. told bold stories in the cafeteria like he hadn’t once looked nervous just unhooking a bra. like he wasn’t the same boy who asked if you were okay with wide-eyed panic and the softest voice. and you had your share of forgettable one night stands too. you tried to prove to yourself that it didn’t mean anything. that it’s just part of the college life. but you figured it out early on, that wasn’t what you wanted. and none of it was ever…fun. no guy ever made you come. not once. they were either too rough, too rushed, too distracted by their own performance. so eventually, you stopped trying to prove anything. stopped searching for something that didn’t feel right. you had your hand. your vibrator. that was enough. more than enough, really. at least with yourself, there were no disappointments. still, despite everything, you and jisung never ignored each other. it wasn’t that kind of silence. you shared a major. shared mirror space during warm-ups. ran across the same floors in the same studios. sometimes you traded banter in the hallway, complained about calluses and hip bruises, about professors who made you redo the same combo until your knees gave out. he still called you cherry when no one was listening. the name slipped from his lips like muscle memory. you never asked him to stop. there was a rhythm to it — the teasing, the familiarity, the way you orbit each other without ever colliding again. a quiet pact. unspoken, but always there. like a secret tucked into the back pocket of jeans you never wear anymore but never quite throw away either. and he always gave you this look. like he remembered. not in a guilty way. not even in a longing way. just… recognition. like the memory lived behind his eyes, blurry at the edges but still intact. you remembered too. the awkwardness. the fumbling hands. the sting — a little humiliating. definitely clumsy. not something you’d brag about. but still, it was yours. no one else knew. not your friends. not his. just the two of you. and maybe that made it even more intimate than if it had been perfect. more intimate than if you’d kissed afterward. or cuddled. or talked about how it felt. it was a secret — flawed, forgotten on the surface, but buried deep in the soft, silent place where your memory keeps the things you never say out loud.
END OF FLASHBACK – BACK TO DECEMBER 15
“earth to y/n?,” your eyes flicked up. karina was waving her hand in front of your face, her iced coffee dangerously close to spilling on your tray, “did you just disassociate mid-conversation?”
“sorry,” you said smoothly, settling back in your seat, “i was just thinking.”
“are we doing this or not?,” dongpyo asked, already opening his notes app to track the money, “because i’ve got venmo open right now and i’m ready to start collecting.” sophia leaned forward like she was presenting the final act in a very glamorous heist movie, “park jisung. sixteen days. make him fall for you before the clock hits midnight on new year’s. he confesses, you win $500”
“and you know the rules…if you lose…” karina added sweetly, the kind of sweet that always came before something evil, “if you fall in love with him—,” she smiled like she could already taste your downfall, “you pay all of us.” the table fell quiet. you paused just long enough to make them wonder. let it hang. like maybe you’d say no. like maybe you were scared. but the truth was – you weren’t scared at all. they didn’t know that you’d once shared something with park jisung that no amount of rumors or girls could erase. you had history on your side. the nickname. the secret. the fact that you were each other's firsts and you know what they say about that. a man never forgets his first. so you leaned forward, let a sly smile curl across your lips, and with every ounce of confidence you could muster, you said, “duh. i’m not a rookie, he’ll be in love with me by new years.”
the table erupted into cheers, giggles and the clicking of phones – someone already making a group chat to track progress. but your smile didn’t falter once. you straightened your posture. took a sip of karina’s coffee without asking, just to piss her off.
🍒 DAY 1 OF THE BET - NO REFUNDS.
jisung was not breaking. he’d heard every single thing the boys said. the intervention that was more a roast. but they didn’t get it. he was fine. perfectly, wonderfully fine. so what if he hadn’t had a real relationship since freshman year? so what if his hookups felt like reruns now? if the only real satisfaction came from the way people talked about him afterward, not during? he could be in a relationship if he wanted one. he just didn’t want to waste his time. that’s all. feelings? commitment? vulnerability? all messy. all pointless. love was a slow death and he wasn’t interested in dying twice. still, he had a point to prove. a simple solution — he’d find someone to date. publicly. casually. just long enough to get the guys off his back. just long enough to remind them, and himself, that he was still in control. that he was still unfazed, untouchable. it was the perfect plan. easy. controlled. safe.
jisung swiped his keycard, pushed open the door to dance studio 7 and froze. like some sick cosmic joke — you were there. he wasn’t expecting anyone to be here. that was the whole point of booking this time. 11:00 p.m. to midnight. the last hour the studios stayed open. it was quiet, empty, forgotten, most students too tired to care or too sane to drag themselves across campus this late. but for him, it was sacred. the hum of the building settling into sleep, the hallway lights dimmed, the mirrors fogged with the day’s ghosts. this was when he could breathe. no image. no professors. no voices in his head except the rhythm and the beat pulsing through his headphones. and he needed it. especially after the ambush from the guys. he needed to dance it out. burn it out. put the stupid idea of relationships in a box and light it on fire. yet here you are, already warming up in the studio. in his time slot. your airpods were in, stretching lazily, arms overhead and spine arched in a way that was way too distracting, oblivious to the way time seemed to pause the second he saw you. you looked good. like you always do. not done-up or dressed to impress, just… comfortable. effortless. his hand dropped from the strap of his bag. the word left his mouth before he could stop it, “cherry?,” he said, like maybe you were a hallucination, “what are you doing here?” you looked up mid-shoulder roll, pulling one earbud out with a smirk like you’d been expecting him all along, “what, i’m not allowed to be here?”
“just surprised,” he stepped in slowly, tossing his hoodie onto the couch, trying not to stare, “no one sane ever comes at this hour.”
“you’re here,” you point out. “exactly,” he replies, a smirk on his face. you rolled your eyes but smiled, brushing past him to grab a hair tie from your bag. he didn’t move. didn’t even pretend not to watch as you twisted your hair up into a messy bun. he sat against the mirror wall, arms propped behind him, legs stretched out like he owned the place. you caught the way he was looking. didn’t comment. but didn’t look away either.
“so…” you started, voice light but deliberate, “got anyone special these days?” he narrowed his eyes, a smug smirk on his face, “are you flirting with me, cherry?” you gave a little shrug, walked closer, sat next to him and dropped your voice like it was a secret just between you, “would it be so bad if i was?” he blinked at you, caught off guard. for all the teasing and casual conversations over the years, it had never quite been this… direct.
“that depends,” he smirks, almost deviously, “are you asking for round two?”
you laugh, shoving his shoulder, “round two of what? another thirty seconds?,” you tease him playfully.
“wow,” jisung clutched his chest like you’d stabbed him, “that’s crazy. you’re gonna say that to a guy who gave you the gift of his sacred virginity?” you just laughed harder, reaching to grab your water bottle from your bag. “just saying, if you’re gonna break a girl’s hymen, the least you could do is make her cum.” — for the first time since that night you talk about it. and instead of being awkward or tense or heavy, it was just… funny. honest. he laughed too, shaking his head, “in my defense, i was nervous as hell.”
“you were shaking like a chihuahua, jisung,” you grinned over the rim of your water bottle, “took you five full minutes to unclasp my bra.”
“it was an emotional experience!,” he argued, pointing at you, “and you stared at me like i was solving a rubik’s cube with my elbows,” he says.
“honestly, i should’ve asked for my virginity back,” you tease.
he shakes his head no, “it was a limited edition, no refunds kind of situation,” you both burst out in giggles — bright and unfiltered, shoulders shaking, the ridiculousness making the awkward memory feel lighter, easier. he watched you, something fond and almost too-soft flickering behind his eyes. when the laughter died down, he leaned his head back, flashing you that cocky smirk he’d perfected over the years, “well,” he said, “you’ll be happy to know i’ve had plenty of practice since then.”
you narrowed your eyes, unimpressed, “have you now?”
“i have, thank you very much,” he says, “the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive.” you laugh, rolling your eyes. he turned his head toward you, hair messy, cheeks flushed from laughing, “you really picked the worst time to show up here.”
you glanced down at him, amused, “why’s that?”
“because i was planning on being emotionally unavailable in peace,” he smiles. you tap his thigh, “too bad. i came to haunt your peace and cause emotional instability. you’re welcome.” — and for some reason, it made him smile.
🍒 DAY 2 OF THE BET - ALL KINDS OF LOVE.
you barely made it through the studio doors when you felt the shift in the room. excitement. buzzing. competitive energy sparking off the floor like static. the room was packed, more chaotic than usual for a morning class. water bottles clinked against the hardwood, sneakers squeaked, someone was blasting music in a corner until it abruptly cut off. and at the front of it all stood dance professor, taeyong, arms folded, head slightly tilted, looking far too pleased with himself — “good morning, my lovely dancers,” he greeted with that signature, slightly chaotic smile, “i hope you’ve all been stretching, hydrating, getting good sleep, because today i give you…your final project.” a collective inhale swept through the room. a few people stiffened. professor taeyong clasped his hands together, “a partnered piece,” he announced with relish. groans rippled through the room, followed by an explosion of whispers and movement. people were already darting across the floor, practically throwing themselves into pairings before professor taeyong could even finish speaking, “and!” he added, voice rising above the chaos, “before you all partner up, this won’t be just any duet.” the room stilled, everyone waiting for his next instruction. “your piece,” he said slowly, “must be themed around something simple. something unavoidable. something we experience in a hundred different ways, every single day.” he paused for dramatic effect —“Iove.”
“i want all kinds of love,” professor taeyong continued, “romantic. platonic. unrequited. obsessive. euphoric. intimate. joyful. destructive. longing so sharp it aches. lust so thick it stifles. i want it all.” some students side-eye him, “don’t look at me like that,” he scolded cheerfully, “this is a performance program! if you can’t sell a story with your body, you shouldn’t be here. and there’s nothing more complex, more magnetic, more devastating…than love.” he let that sit for a moment, soaking into everyone’s skin, then he added, “you’ll be choreographing your own duet,” he continued, “no solos. no excuses.”
you blinked. a duo project? about love? this was the universe handing you your early christmas present. gift-wrapped. on a silver platter. with a red bow on top. you already knew who your partner was going to be. had to be. this wasn’t just convenient – it was strategy. leverage. the kind of setup your friends would later call suspiciously lucky. except…the moment you turned around, looking for his figure, your smirk faltered. there was a line. like, an actual line of girls already circling your $500 – all bright-eyed and bouncy, some fluffing their hair, some fake-stretching in his direction like they just happened to be near. you stared in disbelief as one of them twirled. just…twirled. for no reason. karina slid up beside you, sipping her iced coffee with both hands like it was tea, “you’d better move fast,” she said, nodding toward the growing crowd, “looks like your man’s running a love island season over there.”
you narrowed your eyes, “relax. i’m not worried.
she grinned, “you should be, i can already smell that sweet $125.” you rolled your eyes but your gaze flicked back to the group. jisung stood at the center of it, half listening as one girl twirled a lock of her hair and asked if he preferred contemporary or hip-hop. another was already trying to show him her spotify playlist. but jisung wasn’t really listening. you didn’t notice the way his eyes kept scanning around the room. tracking every figure until they landed on you — because while you were plotting how to use this project to win the bet, he had made a decision of his own. sometime after midnight, when he couldn’t stop thinking about how fun you were to be around. he needed to get the boys off his back. they wanted him to take someone seriously? fine. he’d fake one. or start one. whatever. you weren’t obsessed with him like the others. and he already knows you wouldn’t get weird. you didn’t fawn or fake giggle. you were blunt. sharp. fun. safe. he just had to convince you. he spotted you and you caught his eye too. he broke from the crowd without hesitation. the girls blinked in confusion as he brushed past them like they weren’t even there. he walked across, calm and sure, until he stopped in front of you, “hey, y/n?”
you looked up, a smirk already forming, “yeah?”
“wanna be partners?,” he asked simply. no dramatic build up. karina choked on her drink beside you. “you sure you haven’t promised your thirty seconds to someone else?,” you asked, nodding at the group now staring daggers in your direction. he rolled his eyes though a light smile was tugging at his lips at the inside joke, “you’re never letting that go, are you?”
“nope,” you grinned, playfully shaking your head.
“i promise i’ll give you my thirty seconds and all the time in the world,” he deadpanned, almost too smoothly
“hmm,” you pretend to consider, “fine. i’m okay with that.”
he shake his head, chuckling, “so…partners?,” offering his hand out for a handshake. you shook it, warm fingers brushing. just for a second. but it lingered. “same time as last night?,” you asked.
“tomorrow, same studio, don’t be late,” he warned, smirking now, “i charge by the minute.”
you snorted, “then it’s a good thing you don’t last more than one.” he laughed, that easy, low laugh that made your stomach twist annoyingly, and walked off without another word. you stared after him for just a second too long. then you turned to karina and stuck your tongue out, smug. her mouth was already hanging open, “wait,” she blinked, “last night?,” she hissed, grabbing your arm, “you were together last night?”
you shrugged, very casually, “we just happened to be at the studio at the same time.” karina looked at you suspiciously but she looked genuinely impressed, “you sly bitch,” she gasps, “you don’t waste a second, do you?” you gave a small, nonchalant shrug, though your smile was too proud to hide, “i’m just being efficient. you guys didn’t give me much time.”
she leaned in, eyes wide, “what’s your plan now?”
“simple,” you said, smirking, not missing a beat —“we rehearse. we flirt. he falls. i win.”
🍒 DAY 3 OF THE BET - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
the lights were low. just the mirrors lit softly by overhead fluorescents, making the whole room feel hushed, almost sacred. the kind of stillness that made every sound feel louder — every breath, every heartbeat, every shift in the air. the speaker sat idle in the corner, blinking silently like it was waiting for permission to speak. jisung sat across from you, hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows, legs mirroring yours. there was a gap between you, not far, maybe two feet. the silence wasn’t awkward. it felt different in here. because he was different in here. gone was the party-junkie persona, the cocky flirt who winked at girls in the hallways and laughed too loud during roll call. in the studio, with just the two of you, it didn’t seem like he bothered putting on the act. no charm, no smugness, just – jisung.
“so,” you said finally, stretching your legs out in front of you, “love.” he groaned immediately, dropping his head back with a dramatic sigh, “ugh. don’t say it like that.” you smiled softly, “we’re stuck with it. professor taeyong said all forms. that gives us options.”
“right,” he muttered, brushing his bangs out of his face, “options.” you tilted your head to one side, studying him, “have you ever been in love?”
he blinked, surprised you even asked, then he leaned back against his hands, eyes flicking up to the ceiling, like the answer was written up there, “yeah,” he said finally, “once. my ex.”
you nodded, “the one who cheated?” he nodded again, slower this time.
“yikes,” you winced, “that sucks.”
he shrugged, still looking upward, “it was a long time ago, i learned a lot, i guess, but i think…i never stopped feeling kind of dumb about it.” that quiet sat between you again until he broke it, voice gentler, “what about you?” he asked.
you shook your head, “nope. never.”
he didn’t tease. no smirk, no quip. just a thoughtful stare that felt too intimate for someone with a reputation like his, “never even thought you were?,” he asked, voice low.
you let out a small breath, “i think i wanted to be. a few times. but no. i was just bored. or lonely. or trying to convince myself i felt something because i wanted to feel something,” you take a pause, “and now…i don’t really care for it, it’s just…not my priority. besides i have my friends. they’re all the love i really need” you shrug, “just don’t let them hear that,” you smile, almost shy. he nodded slowly, watching you like he was seeing parts of you he’d never thought to look at before. he sat there, chewing his bottom lip for a moment, like he was carefully turning your words over in his head.
“so what now?” he asked, “if we’re both emotionally stunted, how do we do this whole ‘love-dance’ thing?”
you bit your lip, thinking, “well, professor taeyong said any kind of love.”
he nodded, “so…friendship?”
you laughed softly, “we’re barely friends.”
“yeah, but we have…history,” he said, with a careful smile. you didn’t deny it. “what about lust?” he asked next. the word wasn’t dirty the way he said it. it wasn’t heavy or loaded. it was merely just…a suggestion. you raised an eyebrow. he shrugged, mouth tugging into a crooked grin, “it’s familiar. easier to show onstage. i’ve got enough… material, let’s say.”
you fought a laugh, “yeah, i’ve heard.”
he cracked a smile but didn’t push the joke, “but seriously,” he said. “it’s just wanting. that’s it. and we’ve…done that, haven’t we?”
you smiled, nodding, “sure. let’s do lust.”
then he looked at you for a second longer, something unspoken flickering behind his eyes, “have you ever…slept with someone after me?”
you nodded, arms wrapping loosely around your knees, “of course, you weren’t the only one getting busy…but–,” you pause, not entirely sure if you want to open up to him about your failed sex life.
“but?” he asked, his voice a touch quieter. and something about the way he was looking at you – genuinely, earnestly – made you want to say it. you looked down, then back at him, “but… i’ve never really felt strong lust. not the kind people talk about. not the kind that takes over. drowns you…no one’s actually ever made me orgasm,” you added simply. like it was just another fact. like it didn’t need to be sensationalized.
he blinked “seriously?” you nodded, picking at a thread in your leggings, “i’ve faked it before. it’s not that hard. guys don’t really notice.”
his brows furrowed, not in judgment, more like guilt, “you faked it that night too, huh?”
you gave him a look, “obviously.”
he let out a breath, half-laughing, “damn. my ego’s never recovering”
“i mean,” you giggled, “you were sweet. nervous. a little shaky. but you weren’t that bad.”
he gave a low groan and covered his face with his hands “i was trying so hard,” he groaned, “you have no idea, i was ready to bust as soon as i saw your tits,” he confessed, earning another genuine laugh from you. you both smiled fondly at the memory. like it was a part of growing up. a little embarrassing. a little special. clumsy. human. and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed. two awkward kids. a quiet pact. a memory neither of you could shake. “we were so awkward,” he said.
“we still are,” you grinned. he didn’t try to touch you. didn’t slide closer. just kept sitting there, meeting you where you were. you hadn’t seen this side of him in so long — maybe ever. no armor, no performance. just jisung. honest. a little tired. a little bruised. but real. and weirdly, that felt like trust. you sat in the stillness a while longer. then stood, brushing your hands on your thighs, “come on, jisung. let’s figure out how to make lust look believable.”
he got up too, stretching his arms overhead, “cherry,” he said, teasing but gentle, “if anyone can sell it, it’s you.” but his voice held none of the usual flirt. none of the bite. just quiet admiration, and something maybe like respect — the music played low. something slow, a little sensual. you and jisung stood across from each other, bodies reflected in the mirrors lining the wall. his hoodie was gone, tossed onto the couch. you’d tied your hair up. this wasn’t your first time dancing with him. but this was the first time dancing like this. you stepped forward first, foot gliding into a slow drag as you raised your arms overhead. a quiet build in the music swelled beneath you and jisung moved in response — mirroring, but not copying. more like answering. like you were in a conversation neither of you had the words for yet.
“okay,” he murmured, half to himself, “show me what you think lust looks like,” he stepped closer, voice lower now, “make me believe it.” you took a breath, heart thudding. this was just a warm-up. just a way to familiarize yourself with each other. you reached out, fingers brushing against his collarbone. a ghost of a touch. his skin was warm, his breath steady, and he didn’t move away. instead, he stepped forward again, closing the gap. now you could feel it. the heat radiating off of him, the way your arms brushed his chest as you circled him slowly. you didn’t speak. just kept moving. letting the music guide your limbs. your palm found his shoulder. his hand hovered, then gently caught your waist. his fingers weren’t demanding. they were…tentative. careful.
“okay?,” he asked, voice just above a whisper. you nodded, “yeah.” then he twirls you, your back meeting his chest, your breath catching as his arm slid around your middle. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you. the silence between you wasn’t empty anymore. it was dense. buzzing. “closer,” you said, surprising yourself. he obeyed, palm flattening against your stomach, pulling you in just slightly. enough that your hips brushed when you moved together. enough to feel the length of him against your back. you let your head tip back against his shoulder, hair brushing his neck — this wasn’t choreographed. not yet. this was just…trying. feeling. and it was too easy to fall into it. jisung’s voice was low near your ear, his breath sending goosebumps down your spine, “you’re really good at this.”
you smirked, not looking at him, “faking lust?”
“making it not feel fake,” he murmured. you turned in his arms slowly, hand resting against his chest. his skin was flushed from dancing. his hand trailed down your arm. yours drifted across his shoulder. every brush of skin felt heavier than it should. he dipped you, hand on your back to steady you, the contact firm now, more certain. his thumb pressed against your spine and your breath hitched. when you rose again, your faces were close. he blinked slowly, like he was pulling himself out of a trance, “we’re gonna look good on stage,” he whispers against your lips. “yeah,” you replied, taking a step back and out of his arms. you looked at him, pulse high in your throat. his gaze dropped to your lips for half a second, then back to your eyes. the music faded. the room felt colder without movement — without him that close. he cleared his throat, walking to his bag and reaching for his water bottle, rubbing the back of his neck like he needed a moment. you grabbed your phone, pretending to check something. neither of you said it out loud. but the tension had lingered. and you both felt it.
🍒 DAY 6 OF THE BET - UR FAULT BTW.
the door clicked shut behind you, sealing you both in the quiet that had become familiar all too quickly. this studio, this hour — another thing that belonged to the two of you now. it’s been three continuous days of night rehearsals with jisung. he was already stretching at the center of the room. the lights were dim, casting both your reflections in the mirror like ghosts. he caught your eye in the mirror and smirked, “alright, cherry,” he said, voice lazy, teasing, “let’s start.” you didn’t answer. you didn’t need to. you walked toward the speaker, hit play, and the slow, sultry beat began to fill the space. without hesitation, you let the music pull you under. a glide of your hip, a slow turn of your neck, your body moved with a rhythm that felt like second nature now. by the time you turned, jisung was already moving with you. he didn’t need a cue. he didn’t need a count-in. he just knew. falling into the dance like he’d been dancing with you for years. you met in the middle, your palms brushing as you passed, his breath warm when your faces crossed paths. then he caught your hand, strong and assured, and spun you cleanly into him. you landed chest to chest, close enough to feel the heat radiating off him. his hand wrapped around your waist. it slid just slightly lower. you moved together in sync, every breath shared, every glance held just a little too long. the tension had been building for nights now, the kind that settled in the space between touches. accidental brushes that didn’t feel so accidental. stares that lingered long after the choreography stopped — tonight, it was boiling over. your hands curled into his shoulders and without thinking, without asking, you jumped. he caught you instinctively, hands sliding down to support your thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. he stumbled slightly, the contact jarring, electric, and before you could register it, your back hit the mirror. his hips pressed between your legs, firm and there. the breath left both your lungs. his forehead dropped to yours. your hands found his jaw, holding him steady, and for a long second, neither of you moved. just heartbeats. just breathing. just his eyes dropping slowly, deliberately to your mouth.
you finally did both of you a favor — you kissed him. his lips responded immediately. it was nothing like your first. this was all heat and friction and days, maybe years, of tension exploding at once. his mouth moved fast, hungry, messy. he kissed you like he wanted to ruin you. you bit his bottom lip. he cursed under his breath, hands squeezing your thighs, pulling you tighter. your hips rolled into him. his answer was instinct. thrusting back. the friction made you moan. made him kiss you harder, swallowing the sound. he kissed down your jaw, then your neck, each brush of his lips messier, wetter than the last. one of his hands dragged higher and higher and in one swift motion he yanked your tank top down. your nipples hardening in the cool air and jisung wasted no time.
“fuck–,” you gasped as he latched onto your nipple, his strong arms holding you up higher as he sucked hard — lips hot, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud before sealing around it with a deep, lewd pull. the pressure sending heat shooting through your stomach. he groaned into your skin, shifting to the other breast with a noise that sounded too close to desperation. he tongued your nipple again and again, alternating slow licks with firm sucks that made your spine arch into him. “jisung–,” he hummed in approval, the vibration traveling straight to you.
“god, cherry, your tits are fucking perfect,” he praised, lips wet and breath hot against your chest, “didn’t even know what to do with these back then–” he licked, swirled, sucked, “but i do now.”your fingernails dug into his shoulders. he kissed lower, then back up, nipping lightly before pulling your nipple into his mouth again, sucking harder this time, drawing a loud moan from you. you were sure there were red marks all over your breasts in the shape of his lips. “jisung–fuck, please–,” you didn’t even know what you were begging for.
“look at you, cherry,” he murmured, “so fucking responsive. so sensitive right here,” he grinned against your nipple. you barely noticed him moving to the forgotten couch in the corner. but the moment you hit the cushions, he was on top of you, lips crashing onto yours. his hands didn’t hesitate now, they were confident, hot, everywhere, your tank bunched uselessly around your armpits. your chest was flushed, already marked red, your nipples glistening from his mouth. he looked down at you like he couldn’t believe you were real. then he leaned down again.
“can’t believe i used to be scared to touch you,” he murmured against your skin, giving both your breasts the same worship – nipping, sucking, licking, pressing his tongue flat over your nipples, then flicking them back and forth in tight circles that made your stomach curl you swore you were about to learn that you could cum just from it. he sucked each one until they were tender and puffy and every brush of his tongue made you gasp, “now i don’t think i’ll ever stop.” you were breathless, your legs wrapped around him, hands fisting his shirt, hips starting to rock against his and then—
knock. knock. knock.
you both froze. his mouth still latched on one of your nipple, a hand frozen beneath your waistband. “sorry to interrupt!,” a cheerful voice called from behind the door, “just the janitor! it’s five minutes past lock up and i gotta mop!” you stared at jisung. he blinked at you. and then you both burst out laughing. he collapsed half on top of you, chest shaking with laugher, forehead pressed to your sternum.
“of course this would happen,” he muttered, voice muffled by your boobs. you were still laughing and he watched the way your eyes crinkled. the way the light reflected stars off of your eyes. “i think we should add this to our choreography,” he mutters, still in between your breasts.
“you’re insane,” you say in between your laughter as you push him off of you, a little too hard. he landed on the floor with a loud thud, both of your eyes widening before you break into laughter again. you catch your reflection in the mirror – half exposed, hair wild, marked-up, flushed.
“jeez, park, i’m gonna need a scarf tomorrow,” you say, fingers ghosting over the marks that were starting to bloom all over your chest. he smirks, looking way too proud of himself, before slotting himself in between your legs. he gently, carefully, pulls your tank top back up, his fingers ghosting over your shoulders, your nipples still tingling, “it’s not my fault your tits look too fucking good,” he says before kissing you again, slower this time.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it’s way past your bedtime. your room was quiet. too quiet. the kind that makes you overthink. rewind. replay. you lay back on your pillow, eyes closed, your t-shirt brushing over still-sensitive skin. your thighs pressed together without meaning to. your lips still tingled from his mouth. your neck still wore the ghost of his teeth. and then your phone buzzed.
jisung: *sent a video* (author’s note: 18+ ONLY)
you opened it without thinking. then immediately sat up. holy shit. he was in those damn grey joggers, hanging dangerously loose around his hips. no shirt. just a black hoodie unzipped and hanging open, the sleeves pulled halfway up his forearms. his abs were sharp under the soft light of his bedroom, and then—like he knew exactly what he was doing—he dragged the joggers down. his cock slapped up into frame, already hard. thick. heavy. veins prominent. you couldn’t see his face, but you didn’t need to. you knew the look he had on. that cocky, infuriating smirk that made your pulse skip.
jisung: can’t sleep. too hard. ur fault btw
you dropped your phone on your chest with a choked laughed, heat rushing down your spine. you were just telling him how you hadn’t experienced lust that makes you drown. and now you’re thinking you spoke way too fucking soon. you were supposed to be in control. you were supposed to be the one pulling strings, making him squirm—after all, this was just a bet. but now your thighs were pressed together, breath uneven, skin flushed and aching and you were the one spiraling. you stared at your ceiling, tried to think of anything not related to his cock, or his hands, or the way his tongue circled your nipple like it was fucking dessert. but your fingers were already twitching. and your memory was already playing tricks. maybe this was dangerous. maybe you were getting in too deep. but fuck it. you might as well have some fun while you’re at it. your phone buzzed again.
jisung: u there? did i kill u?
cherry: park. what the fuck?
jisung: u like it? u miss me?
cherry: go to sleep.
jisung: can’t. still thinking about ur tits. and ur hands in my hair. and the way u said my name. the way u arched into me.
jisung: help me my sweet cherry
jisung: please? 🥺🥺
your breath hitched. you bit your lip so hard it stung. your body was already moving before you could talk yourself out of it. you tugged your shirt off before you could second guess yourself. hit record. the camera was angled just right—only your chest in frame. you laid back, letting the light catch on the fresh marks he left behind. hickeys. faint bruises. the aftermath of his mouth. you squeezed them softly, your thumb flicking over your nipples, letting out a quiet moan just for him. then you hit send before you can trip yourself out.
cherry: *sent a video*
your heart was pounding, stomach doing somersaults. you threw your phone beside you like it burned and dragged the comforter over your legs, trying to calm down.
*11 minutes later*
jisung: fuck ur so hot
jisung: *sent an image*
you clicked. and groaned. he was on his bed now, hand still around his cock. his black hoodie was bunched up around his elbows. cum streaked up his abs and soaked into his sweatpants. his hips were still lifted slightly off the bed like he’d just finished. the angle was brutal. intimate. messy. you bit down a whimper as your hand slipped beneath your underwear. heat flooded your cheeks, your chest, down between your legs, your skin prickling with need. your fingers moved slowly at first, hesitant, shaky. but the ache pulsing through your core demanded more. and then the memory played vividly. his body, all heat and tension, pressing into yours like he couldn’t bear even a millimeter of space between you. his hips grinding just enough to tease, not enough to satisfy. the music playing in the background, the rasp of his breath, the soft groan he let out when your hand slid into his hair. the way his mouth moved around your sensitive nipples. your thighs had been slick then, just from the friction. from the way he moved against you. from the pressure building and building with nowhere to go. his fingers had curled into your waistband like he was trying to decide whether to ruin you right there or keep teasing you. you pressed your legs wider now, helpless against the memory, two fingers circling where you were already wet and throbbing. you let your other hand drift up to your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple, already so sensitive from earlier. every inch of you was burning — your phone buzzed again beside you.
jisung: don’t hate me if i can’t control myself around u tomorrow night
jisung: let me suck on ur tits again 😛
you let out a soft gasp, hips lifting into your own touch. the words slammed into you like another wave. this is a stupid bet. but now you were touching yourself at midnight with your heart racing and his voice in your head like a fucking ghost. you swallowed hard, catching your breath, hand sticky, thighs trembling — this was a game. just a stupid, reckless game. and you might as well play it properly.
cherry: only if u behave.
jisung: no promises, cherry.
your lips curled into a smile as you typed your final message, still breathless.
cherry: goodnight, dream of me ;)
jisung: already did
jisung: and tomorrow, it won’t be just a dream 😏
your thighs clenched at his words. you set your phone down slowly, pulse still racing as your back arched, head tipping against the pillow, fingers slipping faster, circling, stroking, dipping in just enough to keep you right on the edge. you let your other hand glide over your chest again, catching on your nipple, rolling it between your fingers the way he did, until your breath hitched, sharp and shaky. the image of him was seared into your brain now. jisung, shirtless in low light, his abs tensed, cum streaking his skin, the mess he made for you. you whimpered, legs trembling. your fingers curled and pressed just right, slick, practiced, desperate, and it hit you fast. hard. blinding. your body locked for a moment as the orgasm ripped through you. a low moan slipped from your lips as your thighs squeezed around your hand. his name echoing inside your skull — jisung. jisung. jisung.
🍒 DAY 7 OF THE BET - THE REMATCH.
you stepped into class wrapped in layers. a hoodie zipped up to your chin. another jacket thrown over it. a scarf around your neck even though it was barely cold enough to justify it. your cargo pants were the only part of your outfit not screaming i’m hiding something. karina blinked when she saw you. then frowned. then slowly cocked her head to the side like a cat who just caught a mouse faking it’s death, “why is your jacket zipped up that high?”
you waved her off, “no reason. i’m cold.”
“in the middle of a packed dance studio?,” she says, voice filled with judgment. you didn’t answer. you looked everywhere but her. which only made it worse. she narrowed her eyes, piecing the pieces together, “wait a damn minute–” you groaned but before you could say another lie, she grabbed your sleeve and yanked you into the corner where no one else was paying attention. then, without warning, she tugged your zipper halfway down, “karina–!”her eyes immediately went wide. your chest was littered with reddish-purple bruises, peeking over the edge of your bra, all the way up to your neck, it was almost like constellations in the sky, “oh my god.” you shoved her hands away, zipping up frantically. “you’re a fucking freak,” she whispered, eyes huge with delighted horror, “those are hickeys. so many hickeys.”
“keep your voice down!,” you hissed, tugging your scarf back up over your throat. karina just stared, speechless for once. then she looked you up and down again, like she was recalibrating. then she groaned, dragging a hand down her face, “fuck. am i gonna lose $125?”
you patted her shoulder, smug, “you shouldn’t have been so confident.” just then, the door swung open behind you and in walked jisung. nonchalant. hoodie slung over one shoulder. hair still a little damp like he’d just showered and didn’t bother drying it properly. that stupid smug walk like he wasn’t just sucking on your boobs and sending you a thirst trap less than twelve hours ago. he greeted a few people, bumped fists with someone from the back corner, smiled at a couple of girls and plopped down in his chair. you didn’t even mean to look at him. but you felt his eyes on you before you turned and sure enough — there it was. that cocky little smirk. his eyes dipped, just for a split second, to your fully zipped hoodie. then he gave you the most infuriatingly pleased expression you’ve ever seen. his tongue poking his cheek. you turned away immediately, face warm. “yup,” karina muttered beside you, “i’m gonna be broke by new year’s.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you barely had time to step in and close the door before you were spun around and pinned – not roughly, but with purpose. the mirror behind you cooled your back, a sharp contrast to the body suddenly flush against yours. jisung. one arm braced the wall behind your head, his other hand cupping the back of your skull so you wouldn’t hit the glass too hard. he kissed you hard, nothing tentative about it, like he’d been holding it in all day. “jisung–,” you gasped between breaths, but he was already unzipping your jacket and lowering his mouth to your neck. he hushed you, breath hot, “can’t risk the janitor walking in again.” the reminder sent heat straight down your spine. you felt his teeth graze just below your ear and your fingers tightened in the hem of his hoodie. his lips were relentless, moving down your jaw, your throat, marking up every spot of skin that he missed last night.
“you’re not even gonna pretend to rehearse?,” you murmured but your voice was shakier than you’d liked. “this is rehearsing,” he answered, smirking into your collarbone. you meant to say stop. you should’ve said stop. but your hands had already found their way under his shirt. his breath stuttered when your cool palms touched his skin. smooth, warm, muscles jumping slightly beneath your fingertips. he hasn’t felt this magnetic thrill in a long time. not since he learned how to sleep with girl after girl like it was putting on underwear. but there’s something about you. he can’t explain it. and maybe there doesn’t need to be an explanation for everything. you simply just pull him in again and again.
“i couldn’t focus all day,” he admitted, “kept thinking about…this.” his mouth ghosted over the same spots he marked last time, kissing each one. you tipped your head back, your fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt. he pulls it off quickly then unzipped your jacket all the way, letting it fall to the floor, leaving you in your black bra. he turned you around slowly, firmly, both hands gripping your waist as you settled in his arms, facing the mirror. the only thing that mattered now was the reflection in front of you — flushed skin, hungry eyes, and the man behind you who looked at you like he was about to ruin you, “i’m gonna make up for freshman year,” he said, voice low, mouth still pressing kisses to your neck. you blinked, already feeling dizzy, “are you now?”
“mmhm,” he reached behind your back and unhooked your bra with one hand, like muscle memory, then slid the straps off your shoulders and let it fall. the moment it hit the floor, his hands were on you, large, warm palms cupping your bare breasts, lifting them slightly like he was weighing them in his hands. you gasped, head rolling back against his shoulder. “look at you,” he murmured, but he wasn’t looking at your body. he was looking at your face in the mirror. watching your mouth fall open, your brows twitch, your body arch helplessly under his touch. then his fingers moved. he pinched your nipples slowly at first, deliberate and teasing, rolling them between his fingers, watching intently as your mouth parted and your thighs clenched. his thumbs swiped across the sensitive peaks, back and forth in tight circles until your breath hitched and your thighs squeezed together. “so pretty,” he smirked, tweaking them harder, dragging out a strangled whimper from your throat.
“—feels so good jisung,” you breathe, your hands flying to grip his hips. he kept playing with you like he had all the time in the world, alternating between gentle pressure and sharp, precise pinches that sent sparks straight to your core.
“you like that?” he murmured, tongue darting out to lick the shell of your ear, “these pretty tits… so fucking responsive.” you were panting, chest heaving, nipples aching under his relentless fingers. he twisted them again, and your knees buckled slightly. “gonna make sure you orgasm tonight,” his deep voice makes your thighs twitch but you refuse to give in that easily. you raise a brow, “aren’t you ambitious?”
he smirked against your neck, and before you could say anything else, he picks you up like you weighed absolutely nothing, and sits you on the couch. then he knelt on the floor, between your legs like he belonged there, fingers gripping the waistband of your cargo pants “these,” he muttered, dragging the fabric down your legs with one rough pull, your underwear along with it, “have been in my fucking way since you walked in.” he tosses them to the side, leaving you completely bare for him, the mirrors all around you making you feel a little self conscious. but before you could dwell on it, he ran his palms up your thigh, large hands covering half of your skin, slow and reverent, before spreading them apart with gentle pressure. the room felt suffocatingly hot, your skin flushed, your breath uneven. he paused, right there – his mouth hovering just shy of your center, teasing you with his breath. then he looked up at you, voice low, eyes locked on yours, “tell me how you like it,” he said, fingers gripping your thighs, “because i’m not stopping until i make you come.”
the words hit you harder than they should’ve. like a promise. like a challenge. like he doesn’t matter if it takes the janitor walking into this. you nod, trying to hold yourself together. jisung tilted his head, lips twitching in a smirk then his mouth found you slowly, carefully, like he meant it. like every second of contact mattered, tongue licking a slow stripe up your core before settling into a steady rhythm. no one has ever taken their time with you like this. your back hit the cushion with a whimpered sigh. “don’t fake anything with me,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, “i’ll know. i want it real.” you tried to bite back your moan, but it slipped out anyway, raw, needy, “i’m not–,” your voice cracked as his tongue continued to swirl around your clit, “i don’t…i couldn’t fake this if i tried.”
his mouth paused just long enough for his next words to hit hard. “then watch yourself. i want you to see what i’m doing to you. see how your body reacts when someone finally gives a damn about your pleasure.” — the mirrors. wide and unforgiving, reflecting the wrecked mess of you bare, flushed, legs spread apart with jisung kneeling between them. and then he slipped a finger inside you. your breath hitched sharply, your thighs twitching as he worked it in slowly, deeply, curling it just enough to make your back arch, “fuck—jisung—”
“you’re so tight,” he groaned, eyes flicking up to make sure you were still watching, “look at what i’m doing to you.” he curled his fingers again, just right, hitting a spot inside you that made your hips jerk and your mouth fall open in a whine. “do you like this?” he said again, voice deep. “yes—fuck—just like that,” you panted, head tipping back, then forward again as he added a second finger, pushing in deeper, “ohh, right there jisung—please don’t stop—please.” he didn’t. he didn’t speed up or slow down. he kept it right there, just the way you liked it, hitting that spot that kept your toes curling and your moans increasing with every second. then he added his mouth again, tongue flicking against your clit while his fingers continued to move in that same torturous rhythm – slow at first. then deeper. faster. repeat. until your thighs tremble around him, “you’re shaking,” he murmured, voice thick, “you’re close, aren’t you cherry?”
“yeah,” you breathe, staring helplessly into the mirror, “so fucking close. no one’s ever—jisung–fuck,” you can’t even form a proper sentence anymore. the tension in your stomach ready to break at any moment. your fingers knotted in his hair as continued to move his mouth and his fingers. driving you closer and closer until you couldn’t keep your voice down, couldn’t pretend you had any control left. “i–i cant–,” your whole body was shaking, voice breaking into pieces.
“yes you can,” he commands, “you’re gonna come for me. right now. while you watch.” your eyes flicked up again, and in the mirror you saw it all. the way your chest rose and fell in shallow gasps. the way his shoulders flexed as he moved against you. the way your head tilted back as he worked you open like you were the only thing that mattered. and just as you were about to shut your eyes, his free hand slid up, and two of his fingers pressed against your lips. “suck,” he grunts. you didn’t hesitate. you parted your lips, letting his fingers slide in, your mouth wrapping around them. he groaned at the sight — at you moaning around him. his pace never wavering.
he leaned in, body close enough to steal your breath, “now look at how fucking sexy you are when you come,” you willed your eyes to keep open until you couldn’t, helpless moans vibrating around his fingers as your release slammed into you —harder than anything before. your body arched, shaking as you came around his hand and tongue, thighs closing in around his head until he had to hold them open, gripping your thighs like he’d never let go, every muscle locking up as your cry filled the night air. he felt it all. the way you clenched. the way your body trembled like it couldn’t handle it. and he kept going through every wave until you were gasping, body limp, completely unraveled.
when he finally pulled back, his lips were wet, his fingers glistening with your slick, looking proud and satisfied. you were breathless, dazed, eyes half-lidded as you finally looked at him again. he kissed your knee, your thigh, then your lips, “taste that?,” he whispered against your mouth, his tongue dragging against yours, “that’s all you,” your body still felt like it was floating as he pushed you down against the couch, his frame hovering over yours, “and i’m not done.”
you were limp beneath him, thighs trembling, skin flushed, pulse pounding your ears, “i can’t wait anymore,” he rasped, voice wrecked, almost angry with restraint, “i’ve been hard since the moment you walked into the studio,” he rocked his hips forward, letting you feel the full weight of him pressing against your thigh. you reached down your bodies, pushing his sweats off, his large cock bouncing up like that night in freshman year, “i’m not that boy anymore,” he said suddenly like he’d read your mind, “i’m not gonna fuck this up.” you wrapped your hand around him and his breath caught instantly. he was so thick. so hard. so hot it pulsed in your palm, “i know you’re not,” you whispered, “so do it.”
he lined himself up, rubbing his tip through your slick folds, teasing, testing, and your hips arched up toward him, desperate, “wait,” he said, breath hitching, “do you have…?”
you shook your head, breathless, “are you clean?”
he nods his head, “yes, i’m clean.”
your thighs clenched tighter around his waist, “then fuck me already.”
he didn’t hesitate. but instead of pushing in right away, he paused and then his voice dropped, “turn over.”
your heart stuttered, “what?”
“i want you to watch while i fuck you,” he growled. before you could even react, he grabbed your hip and flipped you over. your chest pressing to the couch, knees sinking into the cushions. you gasped, breath caught in your throat, as he reached down, grabbed your ass and spread you open. the mirrors around you caught everything — your surprised gaze, your parted lips, his hungry eyes. then he pushed in. slow, deep, stretching you inch by inch, and it was nothing like the first time. no awkward fumbling, no nervous apologies. just heat and pressure that made your back arch and a breathless moan claw out of your throat, “holy fuck,” you gasped, bracing yourself as your fingers dug into the cushions, “did you–jesus, jisung did you get bigger?” — that pulled a groan from deep in his chest, primal and low, a filthy sound that went straight to you, “you remember how i felt?,” he asked, voice strained, still sliding in, dragging out your torment, “because i haven’t stopped thinking about what you felt like since then.”
“y-yeah,” you gasped, clawing at his thigh, “but you didn’t feel like this—you didn’t feel this—big.” his hips stilled halfway inside, then he grabbed your hair in one hand and yanked your head up until your gaze met his in the mirror, his mouth crashing to your temple in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, “that’s because i didn’t know what i was doing back then,” then he slammed the rest of the way in with one rough thrust that tore a moan from you, so loud it didn’t even sound like you, “now i do.”
he filled you completely, stretching you in a way that made your knees tremble beneath you. you could barely breathe, “fuck,” you whispered, “i didn’t know you could get this deep.” he didn’t move right away. not yet. he just let you feel it – how thick he was, how every twitch made your walls clench around him. one hand gripping your hip hard, the other still tangled in your hair, keeping your gaze locked in the mirror. he lets out a soft laugh, “i’ve been dreaming about a rematch for two fucking years,” he said through gritted teeth. then he pulled out almost entirely, pushed you back down and slammed back in, sharp and brutal. you screamed. he was in so deep you swore you saw stars. your back arched off, body locking up as he started to move, his pace steady but deep, brutal, like he wanted to ruin you from the inside out, “holy—jisung—,” you panted, “you feel s-so full.” each thrust dragged a broken sound from your throat. your body trying to adjust and failing —because every time he pushed back in, it was like your body had to learn him all over again. “you’re so fucking tight,” he growled out, thrusts growing faster now, his fingers bruising into your hips, “do you feel that, cherry? you’re fucking gripping me,” you nodded, dazed, unable to speak. your arms shook with the effort of holding yourself up. every thrust knocked the air from your lungs, every snap of his hips pushed you further and further to the edge.
“gonna make you come again,” he panted, sweat dripping down his temple, “wanna feel you fall apart all over me.” his pace was relentless now. deep. dirty. loud. the sound of skin slapping and obscene sounds from the both of you echoing around the studio. your body couldn’t stop clenching around him, tight, warm, wet, and every thrust hit just right, “im not stopping,” he growled, “not until i make you forget every second of freshman year.”
“you already did,” you moaned. “jisung—fuck—i’m close again—,” his hand slipped between your thighs, fingers circling your clit in quick, perfect strokes, matching the way his cock pounded into you from behind. “come for me,” he said, voice frayed and guttural, “come while i’m inside you. let me feel it.” — and you did. it hit you like a lightning strike, your body tightening around him, toes curling, vision completely blurring, a scream tearing out of you as your orgasm tore through your entire body. you clenched around him hard, shaking, crying, falling apart with your forehead pressed against the couch. jisung’s groan was primal but he didn't stop. he kept thrusting, still fucking you through every wave, prolonging your high, making you sob his name over and over. “fuck—i’m gonna come,” he says, his thrusts getting messier and messier, “cherry–i’m–fuck–”
you reached back blindly, pushing at his abs, your voice raw, you wanted to taste him, wanted to feel him around your lips, “pull out.” he barely managed to obey, pulling out with a deep, shuddering moan, his cock flushed and twitching, soaked in both of you. before he could pump himself to finish, you spun around and wrapped your lips around him. his enitre body jolted, “oh—holy shit—,” his hand flew to your hair, eyes shutting in bliss as you sucked him deep, sloppy and perfect. your hand stroking what your mouth couldn’t reach. you tasted yourself on him and moaned around his cock, sucking harder, faster. he didn’t last. not after everything. “i’m—fuck—i’m gonna—,” he came with a cry, hips twitching as he spilled on your tongue, hot and thick. you swallowed it all, not breaking eye contact, until he finally sagged into the couch, pulling you into his arms. then, softly, through the haze of sweat and warmth, he laughed, “holy fuck,” he murmured, dragging a hand down his face, ”that was…”
you glanced over at him, still breathless, “yeah.” he turned his head toward you slowly, eyes heavy and warm, a proud smirk on his lips, “i told you round two would blow your mind.” you smiled, still trying to catch your breath, as your giggles filled his ears like music, “you really really did,” you share a smile until– knock. knock. knock. you both froze. another knock. this time louder. then a very tired voice, “are you two finished? it’s past 15 minutes of lock up.” your eyes widened in horror, “oh my god—” you hissed, scrambling upright, limbs like jelly, “the janitor.” jisung blinked, then burst into a laugh, dragging his shirt on, still breathless, “i completely forgot he existed.”
you stood up, way too fast, and immediately stumbled. your legs gave out beneath you, rubbery and useless. “whoa—” jisung caught you, arms around your waist in an instant, steadying you, “careful.” you shot him a glare, cheeks burning. he just smirked, looking way too proud of himself.“can’t walk straight already?” he teased, voice low, “should’ve warned you i was gonna break you tonight.” you swatted his chest, face flushed, but didn’t bother denying it. you could still feel him. you yanked on your clothes with shaking fingers, jacket barely zipped, hair a mess, and followed jisung as he opened the door.
the janitor stood just outside, arms crossed, mop in hand, expression unimpressed. you kept your eyes glued to the floor as you passed him, “i’m so sorry,” you muttered, barely audible. he just sighed and waved a hand, “college kids,” he muttered, “i don’t get paid enough for this.” you wanted to die. but when jisung’s hand found yours briefly, squeezing it in the hallway and whispering, “worth it,” in your ear, you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips. because yeah. it really, really was.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
outside, the air was sharp and cool against your flushed skin. the sky had that deep, velvety black that only came after midnight, and the campus was nearly silent, save for the hum of the occasional streetlamp. jisung walked beside you, hands tucked into his hoodie pockets, glancing at you every few steps like he wasn’t sure if he should say something or not. he waited until you crossed the street, until the night wrapped fully around you both like a secret, before he finally spoke again, “cherry,” he said, voice a little quieter now, “i hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
you glanced over, raised a brow, “hmm?”
he hesitated, “i’m… not looking for a relationship.”there was a pause. a heavy one. he was bracing for it. your face to fall, your voice to rise. the same thing that always happened after every hookup. every girl. except, unlike all the other girls, jisung actually enjoyed your presence. this friendship that wasn’t quite a friendship. he thinks he’ll be a little sad if you get angry. still, he was waiting for it. he’d heard it in different ways: “you’re such a dick.” “so you just used me?” “was this a game to you?”
he’d memorized every version. but then — you laughed. not a bitter one. not mocking. just light, genuine, almost amused. “yeah,” you said, shaking your head, “i know.”
he blinked, “you—what?” you looked over at him, hands stuffed into your own pockets, your voice teasing, “i wasn’t expecting a relationship from the school’s number one fuckboy. you don’t have to worry.” — another pause. longer this time. you weren’t mad. you weren’t heartbroken. you weren’t even disappointed. you were just… honest. and maybe a little dangerous for it. jisung didn’t answer right away. he stared straight ahead, jaw tight, processing that. all the girls before had wanted something. even if they’d said they didn’t. they’d always tried to mean more. push past what he could give. but you? you weren’t asking for anything. and somehow, that made you feel more real than anyone else he’d ever touched. in his head, the decision was final – this girl. you. his cherry. you were perfect. if he had to date someone just to get the boys off his ass about being a “cold-hearted fuckboy,” he thought it’d be you. no drama. no bullshit. you get it. you get him. you always have.
“still walking me home?” you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“it’s too late for any woman to walk alone,” he said easily, nodding, “i may be a dick, but i’m not that much of a dick.”
🍒 DAY 8 OF THE BET - BE MY GIRLFRIEND.
jisung hates liars. you can call him cruel, heartless, toxic but he draws the line at lying. he’d been lied to once, brutally, gut-wrenchingly, and it had been enough to last a lifetime. promises of forever. of waiting. of purity. all shattered when he saw his highschool sweetheart tangled up with someone else. since then, he didn’t lie. he omitted. he deflected. he joked. but he didn’t lie. — so when he decided you were the perfect girl to play his girlfriend, not for real love, not for real feelings, but to shut everyone up. he wasn’t going to lie to you about it. not even a little. last night had changed things. not in the way people meant. not hearts and roses and dumb love songs. last night something clicked. you got him. you weren’t clingy or emotional or accusatory. you didn’t read too much into his silence or expect to fix himself overnight. you laughed when other girls would’ve cried.
finally, during water break, when the others were too tired to care, he stood up, walked across the studio and grabbed your wrist. “i–jisung–what–,” you sputtered, nearly tripping over your bottle as he pulled you out of the room. karina’s wide-eyed stare was the last thing you caught before the door slammed shut behind you. he didn’t stop walking until you were outside, behind the building, tucked into the edge of campus where the lights didn’t quite reach. secluded. quiet. he dropped your wrist. then he looked at you, “i have a favor to ask,” he whispered, like it was some sort of secret.
you looked up, a little breathless, “sounds dangerous…what is it?” jisung rubbed his palms on his sweats, a little nervous, which annoyed him and then said, bluntly, “will you be my girlfriend?”
you stared at him, pretending to process it. letting the silence stretch, even though your answer was already cemented in your mind the second he said those words. he looked so serious. like this was some great moral weight. but he didn’t know about the whispered conversation with your friends. the bet. this wasn’t a decision. this was a win. you tilted your head, played innocent, let your eyes soften just enough, “i thought you weren’t looking for a relationship?”
“i’m not,” jisung said, like it should have been obvious, “not really. not like–,” he cut himself off, pacing once, realizing how ridiculous it sounded now that he’s asked, before facing you again, “i just need to sell it. make it look real. the guys think i’m spiraling. they had a literal intervention. i need them off my back.”
you feigned hesitation, “so what, you want to fake date me?”
“no,” he said immediately, voice firm, “no, that won’t work. chenle already did the whole fake dating thing with his girl. the guy’s will smell it from a mile away,” he exhaled, shoving his hands into his pockets, “i need it to be real.”
you blinked, “real?”
“as in–,” he looked away, swallowing, “we date exclusively. in public. you stay the night. i walk you to class. we kiss and have sex even when no one’s watching. we act like we’re in love.”
you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling, “let me get this straight,” you said, voice light, “you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, but like, not pretend at all?” he nodded. dead serious. you raised a brow, “and what’s in it for me?”
that cocky little grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, the one that made girls swoon and your friends groan, “i’m pretty sure i gave you the best orgasm of your life last night,” he said inching closer, “be my girlfriend, cherry. i’ll make sure you get more of those. as many as you want.”
and there it was – the perfect hook. you let yourself smile this time. sweet. dangerous. like a girl who had no idea what she was doing. but you did. you knew exactly what you were doing. “alright,” you said softly, “let’s do it.”
his eyes flickered – surprise first, then something like gratitude. you added, teasingly, “but i’m not calling you a stupid nickname.” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. a small, boyish gesture that made something twinge in your chest before you could shove it away. because he really had no idea. no idea that the girl agreeing to this deal had a scoreboard in her head and a ticking clock to match. it wasn’t love. not yet. but if you had anything to do with it, it would be.
by new years, park jisung would fall for you. and when he does – you win.
you and jisung stood just outside the classroom door, his hand wrapped around yours. neither of you said anything. you didn’t need to. the second he squeezed your hand slightly, you understood. sell it. so you stepped back in, fingers laced. and just like you expected, the room went dead quiet. karina froze mid-sip from her water bottle. sion nearly dropped his phone. even professor taeyong raised an eyebrow but said nothing, merely adjusting his clipboard with a knowing glance. jisung didn’t let go. all he did was turn towards you, making sure every eye was still watching. then, with that same casual boldness that had driven all the girls insane, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips. not rushed. not forced. just solid. real. then he stepped back, a little smug, a little breathless and shot you a wink before strolling to the other side of the room like he didn’t just drop a bomb on the entire class. you turned, trying not to laugh at the dozen dropped jaws around you. karina mouthed what the fuck from across the mirrors. you just gave her a small, innocent shrug. like oops, i guess i really am that good.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
when jisung walked through the door, the dream house was too quiet. he knew something was off before he even saw them. all six of them were in the living room, spread out like they’d been waiting for hours. no music. no snacks — just mark, arms folded like a disappointed older brother. renjun, sitting with his legs crossed on the couch, like he was at some important business meeting. haechan standing, arms crossed, weight shifting like he was barely holding back. jeno on the armrest, unreadable. jamin leaning forward, elbows on his knees, eyes sharp. and chenle, uncharacteristically quiet, by the wall.
“...did someone die?.” jisung asked slowly. mark didn’t answer. just nodded toward the armchair, “sit.”
jisung gave a half-hearted chuckle, “what is this, another intervention?”
“don’t play dumb,” haechan said flatly, “word gets around fast.”
renjun tilted his head, “so…you have a girlfriend now? just like that?”
jisung didn’t flinch, “yeah. she’s my girlfriend.”
chenle’s eyebrows lifted, “if this whole thing is fake, i’ll have you know, i know the signs.”
jisung rolled his eyes, “we’re not fake dating…what? you think i’d recycle your trope?”
chenle opened his mouth to reply but haechan cut in sharply, “if you’re lying about this just to get us off your back–”
“i’m not.” jisung said. clear and final. mark leaned forward, voice level but stern, “we just had a serious conversation with you a week ago. you expect us to believe you’re suddenly healed and in love?”
“no,” jisung said, “i’m not in love. but i like her.”
jeno’s voice cut through, calm but laced with worry, “so why her? why now?”
jisung ran a hand through his hair. the easy answers were there. his usual lines. the charming grin. the shrug-it-off jokes. but he didn’t use them. instead, he met their gazes, one by one, and said, “she’s the only person who’s ever made me feel like i wasn’t completely faking it.” that quieted them for a beat. he kept on going, “she knows who i am. she doesn’t expect anything from me that i can’t give. she lets me breathe.”
there was a beat of quiet. jaemin broke it, “you sure you’re not using her to prove a point?” jisung’s jaw flexed. he knew this was coming. knew that the boys would see right through him. but still, it was annoying, “i’m not using her.”
renjun’s voice was quiet. the kind of quiet that made sure you listened, “you better not be. because if this turns out like every other fling, you’re not just hurting her. you’re setting yourself back again.”
“and you better not be lying to us, jisung,” haechan adds, a little tired, “because at this point? you’d only be lying to yourself.”
jisung inhaled through his nose, “i’m not lying.”
mark studied him, long and careful, “so…she’s gonna be with you at the christmas party tomorrow then?”
“of course,” jisung answered like it was obvious, “she’s my girlfriend. who else is she gonna be with?” — still, none of the boys nodded. none of them smiled. but none of them argued. the silence that followed wasn’t approval. it was conditional trust. the benefit of the doubt. and in the quiet of that moment, jisung realized something — he hadn’t lied. not once.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the studio had gone quiet for the night. the music long stopped, mirrors fogged with the echo of movements that had faded into stillness. you were both flushed from rehearsal, sweat cooling on your skin, muscles pleasantly sore – but the energy between you was far from worn out. you were seated on the couch, twisting the cap back on your water bottle when jisung tugged at your wrist.
“come here,” he said, voice low but playful. you look at him suspiciously, “what?” he pulled again, stronger this time, until you gave in with a dramatic sigh and let him guide you into his lap, your legs sliding on either side of his hips. “jisung–,” you began, but he was already grinning up at you, smug and utterly relaxed with your weight on him.
“i just want you to sit here–” he said, hands sliding to your waist, fingers pressing lightly against your sides like he wasn’t even fully aware of how much he was touching you, “-easier to talk.”
“you’re touchy tonight,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. but your fingers were already curling into his hoodie.
“i’m your boyfriend,” he said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “shouldn’t i be?” you leaned back slightly, bracing your hands on his shoulder, “oh right, the convenient boyfriend,” you smirk.
“exactly,” he smiled, but it was softer now, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles along your lower back, “and since i’m your boyfriend…you have to come to the dream christmas party with me tomorrow night.”
you raised a brow, “have to?”
“yup,” he said without hesitation, “it’s in the fine print.” you gave him a teasing roll of your eyes, “what else is in the fine print?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think, his fingers dipping just under the back of your shirt, “you show up, make me look good, we go upstairs, i make you feel even better…,” he leaned in, breath brushing your lips, “oh and you have to wear something short and sexy,.”
you laughed, unable to help it, “you just want to show me off.”
he smirked, “obviously. you’re hot.”
you leaned in, mouth close to his, “okay, i’ll show up in something short and sexy, what else?”
he tilted his head, eyes flicking between your lips and your eyes, “you stay glued to my side the whole night. no disappearing. you let me be handsy on the dancefloor.”
your breath caught, lips parted, “you’re really committing to this role.”
“i take my relationships very seriously,” he said, voice low, “especially the parts with kissing.” one of his hands rose slowly, sliding up your spine, under your shirt, across bare skin. the other came up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, like he needed to anchor you there.
then softer, like a secret, “cherry,” he murmured, “i’m not pretending when i touch you.” the words weren’t cocky. weren’t cheeky. they were honest. quiet, sudden, deep. you opened your mouth, to say what, you weren’t sure, but he kissed you before you could answer. it wasn’t rushed. it wasn’t even lust-heavy…yet. it was slow. real. a little dangerous. your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie as you kissed him back, letting yourself melt into the press of his lips, the way his hands held you like you were something breakable. then…his hands moved again. slipping under your shirt now, palming your waist, thumbs brushing just under your bra, like he knew exactly what he was doing. your hips shifted, instinctively, helplessly, grinding ever so slightly against his, enough to feel him hard beneath you, heat searing through thin layers of fabric. the tension cracked. his breath caught. his mouth moved faster now, hands gripping harder. he dragged you forward again, grinding you into him. the friction was dizzying. enough to hurt. enough to want more. a low groan vibrated in his throat, swallowed by the heat of your kiss. your fingers fisted in the front of his hoodie, needing something to hold onto as your thighs clenched around him. you weren’t sure if you wanted to push closer or push away, but it didn’t matter. he wasn’t letting you go.
“jisung,” you gasped, pulling back just enough to breathe, your lips swollen, dazed, “we can’t— we can’t keep doing this to the janitor.” he blinked. and then he lost it. full-body laughter exploded out of him, his head tipping back against the couch with a ridiculous grin stretching wide across his face, “god—” he wheezed, still clutching you, “he probably hates us.” you dissolved into laughter too, burying your face in his shoulder, half from embarrassment, half from how insanely turned on you still were, “i think we’re on a hit list,” you said between breaths.
“he’s got a support group,” jisung snorted. you smacked his chest, grinning, “shut up.” he grinned wider, pulling you back by your waist, and this time his mouth landed right beneath your jaw, hot, open, biting softly. you gasped again, “i’m serious.”
“so am i,” his voice was low again, teasing, “i think he cries in his car after.”
“jisung—” he looked up, smug, eyes dark, “yes, my girlfriend?” you hated how hot it was when he said it like that—cocky and warm and just a little too pleased with himself.
“you’re an idiot.”
he leaned in again, mouth brushing yours, “five more minutes,” he murmured, “and then we can be respectful citizens again.”
🍒 DAY 9 OF THE BET - REARRANGE YOUR GUTS.
the dream fraternity looked like the north pole had been possessed by sin. red and green LED lights pulsed through the hallways. plastic snow clung to the windows. bass-heavy remixes of christmas songs thumped through the walls. mistletoe dangled dangerously from the door frames. the whole house was filled with the unholy combination of spiked eggnog, peppermint vodka and a crowd of way too attractive twenty-somethings dressed like they were auditioning for a holiday-themed music video. slutty mrs. clauses. shirtless reindeers. fishnet-wrapped elves. you walked in with jisung. you were wearing red. the kind of red that didn’t whisper holiday cheer but warning: distraction ahead. tight, short, hugging every curve in that kind of way that made jaws slacken and jisung tighten his grip on your waist without even realizing it. he looks good too. black jeans, a white button up with the buttons barely buttoned, his smug smile in full effect. you were glued to the hip. easy smiles. quick touches. shots that went down too fast. it was easy to be his girlfriend when the lust between you pulsed like a second heartbeat. easy to be his girlfriend when his hands found your waist like they belonged there. and maybe, just maybe, you liked it a little too much.
sometime around your fifth shot. you and jisung were ambushed. cornered in the kitchen by the full dream lineup and their suspiciously pretty, incredibly judgmental girlfriends – jaemin with angel. jeno with bunny. mark with kitten. chenle with baby. haechan with princess. NCTU’s golden couples. and they were all looking at you like you were a new transfer student stepping into the middle of a high school cafeteria. jisung kept it cool. one arm slung around your waist, the other gripping a red solo cup like it was a stress ball.
“hey,” he said casually, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” the word still sounded strange, even though you’d heard it before. he said it like it wasn’t borrowed. like it was true.
“you didn’t, like, hire her off craigslist?,” haechan asked, sipping his drink.
you rolled your eyes, “does craigslist even exist anymore, grandpa?”
princess laughed immediately before disguising it with a cough when haechan stared her down with a look, almost saying you’re supposed to be on my side.
“oh, she’s funny,” bunny whispered to jeno.
“and hot,” baby whispered louder.
“thank you,” you said sweetly.
kitten raised a brow, “so…how’d you two meet?”
jisung opened his mouth, but you beat him to it, “we’ve actually known each other since freshman year. dance majors. it’s a long story,” you say casually.
angel smirked, “who made the first move?”
“technically? me but he did the heavy lifting,” you replied, sipping from your cup.
baby smiled, excited for her next question, like she couldn’t believe it was her turn to ask this. “is he good in bed?”
jisung choked on his drink, blush immediately creeping up his ears. you grinned, “very. i could barely walk after.”
the girls leaned in like you were telling ghost stories. princess smirked, “big?”
“the pictures don’t do him justice…i wasn’t sure he was gonna fit,” you answer with a sly smile, still calmly sipping your drink. their jaw drops. meanwhile, the guys stayed quiet, all standing behind their girlfriends, arms draped protectively, watching your back-and-forth carefully. looking for cracks, inconsistencies. but you knew your story, and you delivered it well. no hesitation. no flinching. and you haven’t said a single lie. jisung physically recoiled, his body burning, “okay–wow–okay, do you guys have to do this?” there was something vulgar about you showing him off. something that made all the blood rush to his cock.
“what’s his nickname for you?,” chenle cuts in, smirking. if you didn’t have a nickname, jisung was fucked.
“cherry,” you say easily. not even thinking about it.
“awee, that’s so cute,” bunny sighs.
“i like her,” angel decided.
“yeah,” baby nodded, “she passes.”
“what do you like most about him?,” kitten asked, not convinced just yet. it was the hardest question of the night. not because you didn’t have an answer. but because it wasn’t about lust. or performance. or fun. it was real. your eyes found jisung, his gaze met yours, a question in his eyes. you smiled, soft, “he makes me laugh,” you said, voice steady but soft, and for the first time that night, your teasing tone faded into something honest. jisung, who had been nursing his drink beside you, blinked, just once. you didn’t look at him. you kept your eyes on kitten, who had asked the question, but you could feel the way he stilled beside you, “i don’t have to pretend around him,” you went on, “like, i’ve never felt the need to act cooler or tougher or sweeter just to keep his attention. he’s already seen the awkward, most humiliating parts of me and he doesn’t flinch.”
jisung shifted, a tiny lean toward you. like your words had reached somewhere he hadn’t meant to expose. you glanced at him for a split second. his face was unreadable, but his grip on his cup had loosened, “and,” you added, with a small smile, “even when he’s annoying or smug… he listens. he notices things. he remembers them. he just…gets me.”
for a second, there was a beat of silence. even the music from the living room felt far away. jisung just looked at you like he was trying to memorize the moment. and then princess let out a dramatic sigh, “okay, what the fuck, that was actually beautiful.” the other girls murmured in agreement, while the boys exchanged glances, a little stunned.
chenle clapped once, “it was convincing.”
haechan narrowed his eyes then adds, “still feels suspicious.”
then jeno grinned, “one last thing.” he pointed upward with his drink and like a synchronized sitcom cue, everyone’s heads tilted up — directly above you and jisung, taped to the cabinet, dropping slightly but still unmistakable there — was a sprig of glitter, plastic mistletoe. you turned your head to jisung. he was already looking at you. no nerves. no hesitation. his cup hit the counter behind you and then his hand was on your jaw, guiding you into a kiss like it was second nature. like it was already a habit. it wasn’t rushed. wasn’t dramatic. just firm, familiar and too easy to forget you weren’t alone. the girls let out a chorus of ooooohs, some random drunk in the back wolf-whistled and chenle rolled his eyes, “it’s the holiday. let them have their fake love story.”
finally, mark shrugged, “fine. you passed the test. for now.”
jaemin added, “but if you hurt him…”
you raised a brow, “he’ll deserve it.” that made them laugh. jisung didn’t say anything. but he looked at you for a second longer than necessary. there was something soft in his eyes now, something warmer than the flush of alcohol in his cheeks. and for the first time, the boys looked… quietly convinced. the group slowly began to disperse, satisfied with their interrogation. the golden couples peeling off one by one – jaemin and angel returning to the living room, bunny tugging jeno toward the drinks table, mark whispering something to kitten that made her roll her eyes before laughing softly, chenle and baby starting a beer pong game, and haechan and princess slipping away mid-banter, their bickering fading into the music. you and jisung stayed in the kitchen for another beat, sharing a knowing glance.
“do you think we passed?,” you asked, nudging him.
he raised an eyebrow, “you basically said i rearranged your guts in front of five of my hyungs and their girlfriends. we passed with flying colors.”
you laughed, bumping your shoulder against his, “they asked. i answered.” he smirked, grabbing your hand and tugging you back into the living room where people were dancing. arms in the air. offbeat footwork. someone doing the worm in a corner for absolutely no reason. and it was fun. you and jisung danced, easy and laughing, like no one was watching. like it didn’t matter. like your bodies knew the rhythm of each other already. he spun you once, exaggerated and dramatic, then dipped you too low, catching you just in time. you squealed, smacked his shoulder, and he grinned like he’d been waiting all night for that exact moment. and then you saw them. your friends – karina, sophia, sion and dongpyo. all standing near the wall, cups in hand, clearly people-watching. except they weren’t watching just anyone they were watching you. four pairs of widened eyes with expressions that are a mix of disbelief and celebration. you caught their eyes across the dance floor and coolly, confidently, held up two fingers, rubbing them against your thumb – the money signal. karina groaned on the spot, face-palming like she couldn’t believe you were really winning. sophia snorted into her drink. sion gave you the slow, proud nod of a man witnessing history. dongpyo let out a loud, echoing “YES!” that got drowned out by the bass drop but still made people look. only the four of them knew what it meant. the win was yours. soon.
you turned back to jisung, smile still tugging at the corner of your lips. he didn’t notice the exchange. and then, somewhere between songs, his hand slipped low on your waist. he leaned in close, his voice a quiet, honey-smooth murmur against your ear, “i’m pretty sure,” he said, “the fine print included going upstairs and making you feel even better.” your heart skipped a beat. and just like that, he was pulling you up the stairs. the party fades behind you, the pulse of bass and drunken voices muffled as jisung shuts the door to his room with a quiet click. his hand is still laced with yours, and your skin is buzzing — from alcohol, from adrenaline, from him. he guides you inside, gently sitting you down on the edge of his bed. his room doesn’t look much different from freshman year, the led lights are still blue, casting soft shadows across the room, making the moment feel suspended in its own little bubble.
jisung moves over to his speakers and grins, “got a christmas present for you.” before you can ask what, the unmistakable beat of pony starts to play, your eyes widen “oh my god,” you burst out laughing, “no fucking way.”
jisung looks over his shoulder, that shit-eating grin growing, he watches you laugh, “you remember this?”
“how could i forget?,” you try to contain your laughter, but then jisung starts performing. body rolls, thrusts – slow, deliberate, confident, every motion teasing. like he’s channeling his own magic mike show. his shirt hits the floor first, and you have to bite down on your lip as his fingers trail over his abs. then he grinds on floor, hips rolling with every beat, pants inching down gradually until the only thing between you and his dick is a thin pair of black boxers. and even that’s barely doing its job. his bulge is already obscene, thick and heavy, the shape of him outlined perfectly. you swear you can see the weight of it. your thighs instinctively press together.
“you’re drooling,” he teases, before parting your legs open and sliding up in between them, still body rolling. “oh, shut up,” you giggled, smacking his chest. but your hands stay there, fingers trailing down the lines of his abs, then lower, his cock straining against his briefs.
“you want me to keep going?” he murmurs, voice low and teasing.
you nod, breathless, “take them off.”
“say please.” you roll your eyes, then murmur it right against his mouth, “please.” he groans and strips the last layer off, and fuck. you’ve seen him hard before. you’ve felt him. but nothing compares to this — to the way he stands in front of you, completely, bare and unashamed, cock hard and heavy, curving up toward his stomach.
“tongue-tied already?” he teases. you reach for him without thinking, wrapping your fingers around the base of his length, “you’re so big, jisung.”
he hisses, hips twitching, “and you take every inch like a good girl, don’t you?,” he mutters, a finger under your chin. the words make you clench around nothing. he pulls you to your feet, undressing you slowly — like he’s unwrapping something precious. your dress slips off your shoulders. your panties slide down your legs. when you’re finally naked, he drags his eyes up your body and groans, “fucking perfect.”
you’re already soaking when he takes a seat at the edge of his bed, pulling you into his lap and guiding you to straddle him. he kisses you once, deep and messy, before pulling back, “condom?” you shake your head no, “just pull out again,” you breathe, pulling him closer, already grinding down against him.
he groans, “fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” with one hand wrapped around his cock, you line him up, and then you sink down. it’s not graceful. it never is with jisung. it’s filthy and slow and overwhelming. your walls stretch to take him, breath catching in your throat as he fills you up. he’s too big. he knows he’s too big. he lives for the way your body struggles to take all of him, “fuck, cherry,” he groans, head falling back, “you always forget how big i am until i’m inside you, huh?”
you whimper, jaw dropping, digging your nails into his shoulders, “too big—jisung, fuck.”
“take your time,” he breathes, voice barely holding together, “you got it.” — you feel the stretch, the pressure. when you finally sit all the way, you cling to him, forehead to forehead, panting. then his hand slides down your stomach, fingers spreading wide just beneath your ribs. this new angle was intense. “look,” he whispers, awe in his voice, “you see that?” you glance down. there’s a visible bulge pressing up in your belly. a shape. him. you moan, soft and wrecked, and jisung groans like he’s going to lose it, his eyes are locked on it, completely wrecked, “that’s me,” he says darkly, rubbing slow circles over the visible shape of his cock inside you, “so fucking deep. i’m inside your stomach, cherry.”
“holy shit,” you breathe, whimpering, “i feel everything,” you tighten around him just to feel his reaction and he hisses through his teeth, fingers digging into your ass, “you like that?,” he practically growls, “knowing how deep i am?”
“i love it,” you groan, rolling your hips.
“you were made for this,” he grunts, lifting his hips into you, “made for me.” your hands claw at his chest as you begin to move, slow at first, circling your hips as he groans beneath you. every thrust hits deep, dragging across every nerve, every sweet spot, until your thighs are shaking and you can’t stop the sounds spilling from your lips.
he grabs one breast, tongue lapping over your nipple, then sucks hard, while his fingers pinch the other. you cry out, body jerking, “jisung—fuck, slow down with the marks,” you gasp, “do you know how much concealer i’ve been using just to hide the other ones?”
“i don’t give a shit,” he murmurs, laughing into your skin, then switching to the other, sucking even harder, “they’ll see you’re mine.” — you start riding him in earnest, bouncing in his lap, your thighs burning, his cock stretching you perfectly over and over again. the room is filled with nothing but moans, wet sounds, skin on skin. he grabs your ass, thrusting up into you harder, “look at you. stuffed full. you love it, don’t you?” you nod, unable to speak, that heat in your stomach threatening to break with every thrust, “fuck—jisung, i’m close—,” you choke out.
“come for me, cherry” he pants, “i wanna feel it. feel you squeezing me.” he slams up into you at just the right angle. and it hits. your orgasm shatters, head tossed back, nails sinking into his shoulders, thighs shaking as your walls clamp down around him. your entire body jerks as the wave pulls you under, collapsing against his chest, breath gone. but jisung doesn’t stop. he’s still thrusting up into you, faster now, chasing his own high. his rhythm turns brutal, desperate, driving into you so deep and quick it knocks the air right out of your lungs. you scream, overstimulated and wrecked, the pleasure riding that fine line between too much and not enough. “jisung—” you gasp, voice hoarse, eyes watering, “too much—”
“i know, cherry,” he groans, voice thick with hunger, “but i need you. just a little more. let me feel you again.” you cling to him, moaning helplessly as his cock keeps dragging along that oversensitive spot inside you, again and again. it stings, sharp and raw, but your body starts to give way to it, the pain blurring into pleasure, nerve endings frayed and sparking as the burn starts to fade. then it coils again. that low, unbearable ache in your belly, winding up faster than before, tighter. you cry out, overwhelmed, mind blank as that second orgasm barrels toward you with no mercy, “jisung—fuck—again—i’m gonna—”
“do it,” he groans, rutting up harder. and you do. you break all over again, back arching hard, a sob ripping from your throat as your second orgasm tears through your already sensitive body. it slams into you like a crashing wave, stealing your voice, your breath, your everything. your pussy fluttering around him so tight and wet it forces a strangled sound from his throat.
“fuck, fuck—i’m coming—” he pulls out fast, just in time, pumping himself through it as hot release splashes over your stomach and chest. his head drops to your shoulder, breath hot and panting against your neck. you’re shaking in his lap, every inch of you trembling, ruined and flushed and boneless. the room is wrecked with slick, heat, and the aftershocks of everything you just gave each other. then jisung moves. soft hands. gentle touches. he grabs his shirt from the floor and gently wipes you clean, careful with your still-quivering skin. as he goes, he peppers kisses to your collarbone, your sternum, the tip of your chin—each one a quiet apology and a reverent thank-you.
“did i hurt you?” he murmurs, still breathless but gentle now, “talk to me.”
you manage a shaky laugh, curling into his neck, “no,” you whisper, “that was perfect…just… fuck.”he exhales slowly, like he’s letting go of something he hadn’t even realized he was holding, and pulls the both of you up to his pillows, tucking the covers around you. his arms wrap around your waist tightly as he pulls you flush to his chest, pressing a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then your jaw. when he’s sure you’re safe, warm, and steady in his arms, he lets his body relax beneath yours. and when you finally found your voice, you murmur, “by the way… happy anniversary.”
he stills. then pulls back to look at you. “wait…no way.” you grin sleepily, a tiny smirk on your lips. his eyes widened. then he laughs, soft and amazed. “wow. can you believe we were those same awkward freshmen?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “thank god we’re not. because you knowing what to do with your dick is the best thing that’s happened to my sex life.” he snorts, cheeks pink as he buries his face in your neck, “shut up.” then he pulls the blanket tighter around both of you, arm wrapped around your waist, breath steadying against your skin.
🍒 DAY 10 OF THE BET - A HOLY NIGHT.
you wake up tangled in warm sheets. jisung’s arm is still draped around your waist, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back, his face buried in the curve of your neck like he can’t stand to let you go even in sleep. you stretch, smiling to yourself as the memories of last night flood back — pony, his hand on your stomach, and the way he whispered mine with his lips against your throat. now, the ache lingers between your thighs, deep in your hips, your skin humming with the memory of him. he’s behind you, his breath warm against the back of your neck. you can feel his morning wood pressed against you, thick and hot, heavy against the curve of your ass through nothing but skin. you think about turning over. saying good morning. maybe teasing him. but then he shifts again, hips nudging forward instinctively. there’s a pause. a sleepy groan. and then— he’s inside you.
you gasp, eyes flying open, mouth parting on a broken sound as he buries himself in you with one slow, lazy thrust. thick, deep, stretching you open like he owns you, “jisung—” you whisper, voice already breathless. a low groan rumbles from his chest as he presses closer, his body molding to yours, keeping you in place with his arm still locked around your waist. “fuck… still so warm,” he murmurs against your shoulder, “still wet.”
“i’m sore,” you breathe, shivering as he pulls back and slides in again, just as deep, “so sore…”
“good,” he groans, “wanna keep you sore all day.”the words make your walls flutter around him, and he notices — of course he does, “yeah? you like that?” he whispers, nuzzling your neck, fucking you in slow, steady rolls of his hips, he brings one of your legs up, wrapping it around his hips for easier access, hitting you just right, “waking up with me inside you, still wrecked from the night before?”you can’t even answer. everything feels too good. you’re still heavy with sleep, and every nerve feels exposed. like the drowsy haze has stripped away all your defenses. his cock drags against your sensitive walls. and the stretch, the heat, the fullness—it’s overwhelming. “i can’t—fuck,” you choke out, fingers gripping the sheets as your hips rock back into him, “i’m already so close.”
“that’s it,” he breathes, curling tighter around you, his chest flush against your back, his hand sliding between your thighs to find your clit, “want you to soak my cock first thing in the morning.” he circles your clit slow, teasing, while his thrusts grow deeper, more purposeful, thick, gliding friction that has your whole body trembling, “please—jisung—oh my god—”
“let go,” he whispers, “let me have it.” you fall apart with a strangled cry, legs shaking under the covers, hips jerking against his as your orgasm rushes through you — sharp and fast and almost unbearable in your half-asleep state. he moans your name into your shoulder as your walls clamp down around him, pulsing and wet. and then he’s gone. unraveling with you, cursing under his breath as he thrusts once, twice more. he spills inside you with a groan so low it vibrates against your spine. you both go still — breathing heavy, bodies flushed, tangled under the sheets with his cock still inside you, keeping you full. your brows draw together slightly as you feel his warmth buried deep inside you.
“…fuck, jisung,” you blink, voice still wrecked and lazy, “did you just come inside me?”
he exhales a soft laugh, nosing at your jaw, sleepy and smug, “don’t worry, cherry. got a morning-after pill somewhere in the condom drawer.”
you snort, still breathless, and let out a soft laugh, “thank god,” you let your head fall back onto the pillow, chest still rising and falling, legs still weak, “because i am not ready to carry your kids.” there’s a pause. then he smirks, pressing another kiss to your skin, slower this time, more dangerous. “don’t tempt me.” you turn your head just enough to catch the gleam in his eyes, “was that a threat or a promise?”
he groans playfully, shifting his hips just enough to make you gasp again, “say one more thing and i will go for round two,” he counters, still nestled against you, his cock softening but still inside, like he can’t stand to leave your body just yet. you laugh, breathless and warm. you both lie there for a moment longer — hearts racing, skin sticky, limbs tangled beneath the weight of the duvet. his fingers trace lazy circles on your stomach, still holding you close.
he presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder. “merry christmas, cherry,” he murmurs, voice tender and low.
you smile, heart full, “merry christmas, jisung.” you finally turn in his arms, and he meets you halfway, pressing a soft, slow kiss to your lips – warm, gentle, sweet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
twenty minutes later, the two of you are downstairs, you’re standing in the middle of a surprisingly clean kitchen, definitely not as wrecked as the living room. you’re dressed head to toe in him — jisung’s oversized pajama top swallowing your frame, his boxers peeking out beneath the hem, and his fuzzy gray socks slouching halfway down your calves. jisung pulls a mixing bowl from the cabinet as you roll up your sleeves, “alright, let’s get to work, baker park.”
“i’m warning you now,” he says, weirdly serious, “i burn toast.” he wasn’t lying. you regret everything about two minutes in. jisung is a disaster. he mistakes salt for pepper, almost washed the chocolate chips with water and soap, nearly cracks an entire egg shell into the batter, and at one point tries to microwave the butter with the foil still on. you catch it just in time.
“i said i burn toast!,” he defends, pouting as he stirs what might possibly be the lumpiest cookie dough on earth. you lean in, scraping the sides of the bowl for him, “you’re lucky you’re cute.”
“you think i’m cute?” he teases, eyes gleaming.
“shut up,” you nudge him, rolling your eyes.
he takes a pinch of the batter and tastes it, “mmm, tastes like… regret.” you dissolve into laughter before carefully placing the tray into the oven and then squealing when he lunges at you, batter-covered fingers raised like claws. “don’t you dare—,” you scream, grabbing the spatula to keep him an arms length away. “too late!,” he says, that mischievous smirk growing with every second. he chases you around the kitchen island, the two of you shrieking with laughter, “jisung, stop!” you gasp, cheeks aching from smiling too much. “never!” he says, matching your expression. you finally spin around and catch him mid-lunge, pressing a quick, sticky kiss to his mouth. it stuns him. for just a second. the next he’s grabbing you by the hips and lifting you onto the counter like it’s second nature, sliding between your knees. his lips find yours again — slower, deeper, heated. you kiss him back, fingers threading into his hair, the sweetness of chocolate still lingering on his tongue. one of his hands trails up your thigh, fingers sneaking beneath the hem of his shirt on your body. you break the kiss with a breathless laugh, batting his hand away, “jisung.”
“what?,” he groans, still chasing your lips.
“the guys might catch us.”
“i don’t care.”
“well, i do,” you grin, pressing your forehead to his, “we’re not about to get banned from the kitchen on christmas morning.” the oven beeps. you stick your tongue out at him, earning a small chuckle from him before slipping down to check the cookies. despite the chaos — the salt incident, the finger-licking sabotage, they actually smell… good. you pull one from the tray, still warm and golden at the edges, and break it in half. steam curls from the center. jisung watches you nervously. you take a bite. pause. he squints, “what? is it bad?”
you blink, “wait. no… jisung.”
he looks ready to panic, “what? oh god, what?”
“these are actually good.” you hold the half-cookie out to him and he bites into it skeptically.
his eyes widen, “oh my god. no way. we made good cookies.” you're both stunned for a second — and then burst into simultaneous laughter. jisung grabs you by the waist again, sitting you back up on the counter, calmer now. you eat your cookies in peace, his arms lazily around your waist.
thats when the door opens — mark and kitten shuffle in first, holding hands and wearing matching hoodies that definitely weren’t hers yesterday. his lips are still a little puffy, and her neck is suspiciously turtlenecked, despite the heater being on. jaemin and angel wander in next, blanket-wrapped and practically glowing. angel’s got that just-got-worshipped-for-an-hour hair, and jaemin’s jawline is kissed raw. he doesn’t even try to hide the hickeys. jeno and bunny follow, holding hands, both flushed, looking like they got exactly two hours of sleep and the rest was cardio. bunny’s lips are glossed but smudged, and jeno has a fresh bite mark right below his ear. then there’s chenle and baby, who enter gossiping about things that happened last night. chenle’s shirt is inside out. baby’s wearing his sweats. neither of them cares. haechan and princess saunter in last, arguing about who took up more blanket space while princess is literally still wearing haechan’s boxers and he’s trailing behind her like a lovesick puppy.
then there’s renjun, standing in the doorway, looking like he’s witnessing the aftermath of a hormone-fueled high school musical. his eyes scan the room, at all the half-dressed couples, the stolen looks, the flour-dusted PDA, and he sighs like he’s aged forty years overnight, “is this a kitchen or a post-orgy snack break?”
kitten hums, curled under mark’s arm, “well, it is christmas.”
mark grins, “it was a holy night.”
renjun stares, his jaw dropping, “you did not.”
“silent night,” chenle chimes in, “not so silent anymore.” he high fives mark and baby at the same time.
jeno, smug as ever, grabs a cookie, pulling bunny into his side. “we all woke up feeling very festive.”
bunny takes one look at you on the counter in jisung’s arms and smirks, “please tell me you got railed too. you look like it.”
jisung presses a kiss to your neck without missing a beat, “twice.”
the girls laugh. the guys cheer. renjun looks like he wants to stick a fork inside the toaster, “can we please not do foreplay in the kitchen where I make my eggs?,” he sighs.
“you make eggs like twice a month,” jisung retorts.
“still! this is sacred ground,” he huffs, “why does this house suddenly feel like one of those romcom movies where everyone’s in love but me?” he mutters bitterly.
kitten takes a bite of one of the cookies and pauses, “wait… these are actually kind of perfect?”
you and jisung share matching, smug grins. you giggle into his hoodie when he says, not even trying to be quiet, “i might have to keep you forever if you keep making cookies like this.” the room falls silent. your breath catches. you stiffen, but jisung doesn’t even notice — too busy playing his boyfriend role and looking at you like you hung the moon. your fingers curl instinctively around his shoulder, the corner of your mouth twitching up, stunned and warm all over.
then, haechan, without missing a beat, “yup. he’s down bad.”
renjun drops into one of the chairs, “i hate it here.”
haechan leans toward renjun with a smirk, “you’re just mad you didn’t get to wake up with someone in your shirt.”
renjun raises a brow, “you’re right. i woke up without being suffocated in someone’s armpit. can’t relate.” princess gasps in mock offense and haechan laughs, tugging her closer. meanwhile, you and jisung stay tangled together on the counter. he’s brushing crumbs from your mouth with his thumb. you press a lazy kiss to his finger. he hums contentedly. and unbeknownst to both of you — mark, jaemin, jeno, chenle, haechan and renjun all catch the way jisung looks at you. the way he doesn’t even try to be cool about it anymore. his hands are gentle on your waist. that proud little grin on his lips. the softness in his voice. the way he looks like he finally stopped running. and quietly, without a word, all six of them glance at each other. just brief eye contact. they don’t say it aloud. they don’t have to. but every single one of them is thinking the same thing – he’s going to be okay. after everything, the quiet sadness jisung was drowning in, the late-night walks alone, the way he’d crack a joke just to change the subject, the distance he never explained. it’s all fading. replaced with the boy they remember – soft. warm. grounded. whole. present. and it’s because of you.
renjun breaks the silence again before anyone could catch on, a tiny smile on his face, “oh god. now you all are doing the heart-eyes thing? is this a cult? are the cookies laced?”
“you okay, jun?” bunny teases. renjun narrows his eyes, “no. i’m surrounded by couples who all had sex last night, this kitchen smells like frosting and pheromones, and i’m emotionally third-wheeling six relationships.”
angel opens her arms up, “come here. you can join me and jaemin.” jaemin nods, reaching out to ruffle his hair, “we’ll make room.”
renjun immediately ducks away, “get your cooties off me.” the room dissolves into laughter. someone cranks up the christmas playlist until it’s too loud. and the kitchen — frosting-smeared, sugar-dusted, chaos-filled — becomes the softest, happiest, most chaotic love nest on earth.
🍒 DAY 11 OF THE BET - LITTLE FREAKS.
everyone had gone home for a bit over the holiday break. a quick return to normal families, traditional dinners, distant relatives asking too many questions. not you. not jisung. he didn’t want to deal with his family’s concerned eyes, not when they looked at him like he was one bad choice away from completely falling apart. you didn’t want to go home. not when all anyone would ask about was your nonexistent love life. your friends hadn’t left either, too lazy.
so you invited jisung along – bowling sounded harmless enough. you definitely didn’t expect him to stick to you like velcro. he was practically glued to your side, one arm always slung casually around your waist, sometimes on your thigh. his head rested on your shoulder while you picked out your bowling ball, fingers laced through yours even when you were just waiting for your turn — the moment jisung excused himself to the bathroom, your friends pounced.
“okay, what the hell is going on?” karina hissed, leaning so far across the table she nearly knocked over her drink, “since when did you guys get so close?”
“did you see how he looked at her?,” dongpo asked, incredulous, “like she hung the fucking stars.”
you leaned back in your seat, trying not to look startled, “you guys are being dramatic,” you said, reaching for your drink, “it’s just casual.”
“casual?” sophia echoed, “girl, he kissed your shoulder. twice. no one kisses shoulders casually.”sion was squinting at you like he was trying to see through your soul, “you’re holding hands. you’re sharing drinks. he calls you cherry…are we still pretending this is just for convenience? for the bet?”
you shrugged, a little too carefully, “look, relax. i’m acting. that’s the whole point.”
“you don’t look like you’re acting,” karina said softly. her words made something uncomfortable shift in your chest. “and you’re smiling differently,” dongpyo said, suspiciously, “like, he says something and your face does this… soft thing.”
“he’s the one practically clinging to me,” you said, defensive, “that’s not on me.”
“maybe,” sion said, “but where’s the part where you roll your eyes when guys get clingy? where’s the part where you run the second things get… warm?”
you paused, fingers tightening around your cup. you tried to deflect, “it’s just physical, okay? you all saw how touchy he was. jisung’s half the work already.”
“i mean, you’re not exactly pulling away,” sophia added, “we know you, remember? you don’t like cuddling. you hate labels. you once ghosted a guy for writing you a love poem and said it was cringe.”they weren’t wrong. you throat tightened. you hated how well they knew you.
“that was cringe,” you point out, forcing a laugh, “relax, guys. i don’t fall in love. i’m just really good at making people feel special…that $500 is still mine.” but as the words left your mouth, something about them felt off. wrong. heavy. for the first time, it didn’t feel like a flex. it felt like a lie. you felt that familiar pang in your stomach. the one you’d been ignoring since christmas eve. not the lust. not excitement — guilt. because he didn’t know. because you knew what that girl did to him in high school, and you were starting to wonder if you were any better.
they all exchanged looks, clearly not convinced. “hey,” sion’s voice softened, “if something’s going on, you can tell us.” you blinked back the sudden pressure behind your eyes, “there’s nothing to tell.”
before they could press more, jisung returned, tossing a grin your way, cocky and breathless, like he already knew what kind of trouble he was about to start and your heart stuttered. “guess what i found?” he whispered in your ear, showing you a strip of photo booth pictures some random couple left behind. his fingers brush against the small of your back, “come with me.” you followed after shooting your friends a sly smile even though your stomach was in knots. and when he took your hand, guiding you up from your seat, you knew your friends were still watching. still unsure. still wondering if they should intervene. he tugged you through the neon haze of the arcade and you pushed the thoughts away, slipping past claw machines until you reached the tiny booth in the corner. it looked ancient, barely wide enough to fit two people, curtain fraying.
it started off innocent. sitting side by side. posing. smiling. peace signs. duck lips. a kiss on the cheek. then the timer clicked again, and jisung was lifting you up to sit on his lap, a tiny squeal escaping from your lips, your skirt rising high around your hips, large hands wrapping around your waist, so close to the place you need him the most. this time the pictures are less innocent. both his hands cupping your breasts, pushing them up. an open mouthed kiss. your hand on his jaw. you can feel his bulge under you and it drives you crazy. “jisung–,” you sigh into his mouth, “need to feel you,” you say, your fingers fumbling for his zipper. he complies right away, pushing his pants down just enough to free himself. a flicker of nerves lit up in your chest, but the hunger in his eyes drowned it out. he was so hard, already pulsing beneath you and you didn’t want to waste another second. you sank onto him, ignoring the sting, your breath caught in your throat like a prayer.
jisung inserts another coin. the flash went off. the booth capturing the way your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, overwhelmed. his hands gripped your thighs, firm and grounding, and you rock your hips forward, chasing the drag of him inside you — slow, then deeper, until he filled you completely. another flash. this one caught your mouth open in a gasp, your hands braced on his knees. the way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, like he loved the way the camera was catching it all. it made you even wetter, “you’re crazy,” you whispered, dizzy with the way his cock throbbed inside you. the way you could barely stay quiet.
“and you’re beautiful,” he murmured. then without warning, he tugged your shirt up, knuckles grazing your ribs. higher and higher. until your chest was bare — completely exposed to the low flickering light and the cold lens of the booth’s camera.“jisung–,” you try to pull your shirt back down but he doesn’t let that happen.
“smile for me,” he said, voice dark and teasing. he cupped your breast with one hand, the other feeding the photobooth another coin without even glancing, “let them see how good i make you feel.” you were flushed, panting, completely full of him and when the next flash hit, he kept his eyes locked on the camera, shameless and smug, while you rolled your hips on him in slow, desperate circles. the strip would show everything without showing anything. your body bouncing in his lap, your mouth slack with pleasure, the curve of your bare chest, his grip on you possessive and adoring. a blurred rush of lust and power, of being wanted so fully you could feel it in your bones. and him – grinning through it all. smirking like the devil with his hands all over you like he knew exactly what he was doing. you rode him harder now, chasing that edge, your hands planted on his hips, his cock thick inside you and hitting every spot that made your vision blur.
another coin. another set. the next flash caught his mouth on your shoulder, your head thrown back, your lips parted in a silent moan, “fuck, look at you,” he groaned, watching your reflection in the smudged glass across from the lens, “so fucking pretty when you ride me.” you whimpered when he thrust up into you, just once, sharp and deep, and you clenched around him, the pressure building dangerously, “jisung i’m gonna–”
“i know,” he breathed, sweat slicking his brow, teeth grazing your neck, “i know, cherry. keep going. just like that. don’t stop.” you were both panting now. the booth was too hot, too small, both of you desperately trying to control your moans and the sounds of your bodies colliding. then his grip on your waist tightened. his voice dropped low, guttural, shaky, “gonna cum, cherry. fuck—inside. can i?” you could barely speak, just nodded, already there, already unraveling around him. the moment you clenched, he buried himself as deep as he could go and spilled into you with a rough, muffled groan against your shoulder. his fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place, making sure not a drop escaped. you collapsed against him, spent and shaking, your back pressed to his chest with the final flash — immortalizing the mess of tangled limbs, gasping mouths, ruined control. he stayed buried in you for a beat, still pulsing, hands lazily roaming your back as you both caught your breath.
you stepped out of the booth first, legs shaking just enough to make it obvious if anyone were watching. though luckily, the back corner of the arcade was mostly dead. jisung followed right after, breath still uneven, hair a mess, and shirt half-untucked. he reached into the machine slot just as it spat out the last strip of picture. there were five strips total, each holding four pictures. all in order. all in motion. the first was innocent enough, you smiling, still clothed. the second, your shirt halfway up, his mouth on your shoulder. the third – “oh my god,” you gasped, snatching the strip from his hand, “jisung!,” he peered over your shoulder, already grinning like a kid that just received the best christmas gift ever, “both of my boobs are out in this one!,” you whisper-yelled, eyes wide as you pointed to the fourth frame, where you were mid-ride, spine arched, chest bared, his hands full of you and that smug ass look still stamped across his face. he had no shame. none. “yeah, i’m keeping that one,” he said, plucking the strip from your hands before you could even think of tearing it in half. “no. give it–,” you reach out. “nope,” he folded it carefully, precisely, like it was some sacred artifact and tucked it into his wallet with a wink, “best christmas gift ever.” you gawked at him, rolling your eyes, “someone’s gonna see that,” you muttered, heart pounding as you glanced around, suddenly paranoid someone might come around the corner and spot the both of you disheveled and glowing. he leaned in, voice low against your ear, “no one else is gonna see it, cherry. that one’s just for me.”
you roll your eyes, taking a second to fix yourself up. while jisung didn’t even try. he looked smug and satisfied. you made your way back to your friends. karina spotted you first, “there you guys are…wait,” she narrowed her eyes, “where the hell did you two disappear to?”
“bathroom,” you said quickly.
“photo booth,” jisung answered at the same time.
shit. your group immediately went silent.
sophia squinted, a teasing smile on her lip, “so…was it a bathroom or a photo booth hookup?”
“neither,” you lied. horribly. “we just–he found a funny strip and we were laughing about it.”
“mhm,” sion arched a brow as he sipped from his soda, “that’s why you have a fresh new hickey on your neck.” your stomach dropped, your hand immediately going up to use your hair as a cover.
dongpyo’s jaw fell open, “oh my god, you little freaks—”
“shut up!” you hissed, sliding back into your seat. jisung sat beside you, calm as ever, tossing a fry in his mouth like he hadn’t just ruined you five minutes ago in a cramped booth, “you guys are real observant for people who are down by like, forty points,” he teases.
“don’t deflect,” sophia said, pointing a perfectly manicured nail between the two of you, “there’s tension. there’s… suspicious glows. there's possibly sex hair. did you guys—?”
“no,” you said.
“yes,” jisung said at the same time. you kicked him under the table. he choked on his fry, and you refused to look up as the entire group burst into chaos.
“oh my god!” karina shrieked, practically launching herself across the table, “in the photo booth?!”
“you’re disgusting,” sion said, which was rich coming from him. “are there pictures?” sophia asked, eyes wide with gleeful horror.
“no one’s ever seeing those,” you snapped, heat crawling up your neck again. you buried your face in your hands, groaning as the table erupted in overlapping questions, taunts, and fake retching noises. and even though you wanted the floor to swallow you whole, you couldn’t stop the tiny smile pulling at your lips. because under the table, jisung’s pinky was hooked with yours. and neither of you let go.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it was nearly midnight when the group finally parted ways — the air still thick with leftover teasing and suspicious side-eyes. the bowling alley buzz had worn off, but jisung hadn’t let go of your hand the entire walk to the parking lot.
"everyone else is home for the break," he said casually, glancing at you as you reached his car, “dream house is empty.” you raised a brow, smirking, already know what he’s asking, “and?”
“and i don’t feel like being alone tonight,” his eyes flicked down to your lips, “come home with me.”you didn’t even hesitate. you just nodded and got in. the drive was peaceful, you and jisung talk about everything and anything. when you finally get to the dream house, it's unusually quie. the muffled hush is a stark contrast to the laughter and lights the place usually held, leaving the place feeling like your own little private world. you both kick off your shoes by the door. your legs a little sore from the photobooth. you flop onto the couch, burying your face in the cushions, “what are we watching?”
“home alone?,” jisung asks, pulling it up on netflix, “it’s a christmas classic.”
“sounds good,” you mumble into the couch and before you know it, he’s sat beside you. you’ve somehow ended up half on his lap, legs stretched out, your bottom half on his thighs, skirt riding high from the way you’re laying, ass slightly raised. you mean to adjust, you really do, but he doesn’t seem to mind and the position was too comfortable to move. your eyes stay fixed on the screen as the movie starts, jisung tracing soft patterns on your calves. it’s only when his hand lands on the curve of your ass, warm and slow, like it belongs there, that you freeze,“what are you doing?,” you ask, voice low, face still pressed into the pillows.
“nothing,” he says, a little too innocently. you don’t turn to look at him, but you can hear the smirk on his voice. you should stop him. but you don’t. you just let him touch you, let his fingers knead the softness through your skirt like it’s the most natural thing in the world. the movie plays on. you try to focus but you can feel jisung watching you. he leans back, one hand still massaging the curve of your ass, rougher this time. you feel him hardening beneath you, feel the subtle shift of his thigh under your center as your underwear clings wetly between your legs, “this skirt should be illegal,” he mutters to himself, his touch making your spine shiver. and with no warning he lands a slap, loud and red and shocking, on one of your cheeks. you jolt with a gasp, a sharp, high moan escapes before you can stop it, surprised and unfiltered. you whip your head around to look at him, your mouth slightly open, eyes wide. his eyes gleamed with mischief, “you like that?” you open your mouth to deny it. then freezes when his hand smooths over the same spot. soothing the sting. the heat and tension pooling low in your belly.
“maybe,” you whisper. he lands another one, this time on the other cheek. the moan that slips out of you is louder. your hips twitch slightly, fingers clutching the cushion tighter. he leans over you, voice dark and playful now, “didn’t know you were into that.” his fingers hook into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down slowly, like he’s giving you time to stop him. but you don’t. you stay perfectly still, breath shaky, as he slides the fabric down your thighs, leaving you in your white cotton underwear – delicate, damp and undeniably revealing. you hear him exhale slowly. then his palm lands again and your hips roll into him, soft moans muffled into the couch. his hand caresses the heated skin between every strike, gentle in the places where he was just rough. and all the while, the movie still plays – a cheerful soundtrack to something far less innocent.
he lets out a soft groan, “you’re so wet,” he murmurs, in awe.
“i-i didn’t know i would like that,” you admit, your voice barely audible, “but i think i do,” you admit quietly but he hears every word. he chuckles, low and deep, the sound skimming down your spine.
“then let’s keep finding out what else you like,” he whispers, his palm connects again, firm and practiced now, alternating between spanking and soothing, his fingers sometimes dipping lower, testing, teasing. your whole body starts moving with it, moaning into every strike, grinding down helplessly into the ridge of his jeans. the pain shooting pleasure up your spine. “say it,” he whispers, leaning close, “say you like it.”
you pant, dizzy with heat and friction “i like it,” you choke out, “i— fuck, jisung — i love it.”
he kisses your lower back, slow and possessive, “good girl.” you feel wrecked already — and he’s barely touched you. still bent over his lap, your panties cling soaked between your legs, his hand lingering on your ass, fingers flexing like he can’t decide if he wants to soothe you or spank you again. your breathing is erratic, soft moans slipping out of you. “look at you,” he says again, voice deeper, rougher, “didn’t even have to take your panties off to get you dripping all over me.”
“shut up,” you whisper, flushed and humiliated, but you don’t mean it and he knows. instead of shutting up, he hooks his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, “let me see you,” he murmurs, “yeah?” you nod, wordless, shivering under the weight of his voice. he pulls them down slowly, a deliberate, dragging tease, and you whimper at the sudden exposure, the cool air hitting wet skin. he drops them to the floor, then spreads your thighs wider on his lap, like he wants to take his time with the view, “fuck,” he exhales, “all this from me just spanking you?”
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you say breathlessly, dazed.
“there’s nothing wrong with you,” jisung murmurs, one hand slipping down to trace through your folds, slick and slow, “you like a little pain with your pleasure and that’s so hot,” then his thumb circles your clit, featherlight, maddening. you gasp, hips jolting. and before you could process what’s happening jisung slaps your cunt. the pleasure spikes sharp in your belly, a moan punching out of you so loud it echoes off the living room walls. you collapse forward against the arm of the couch, gripping the cushions, “oh my god—”
“you want more?” he growls, his fingers slipping lower, dipping just barely inside you, “you want to fall apart on my lap?”
“please,” you choke out, grinding back against his hand, “please, jisung—,” he doesn’t make you beg again. two fingers slide inside you, curling instantly, dragging a broken cry from your lips. his palm cradles your hip while his other fingers find a rhythm — curling, spanking, soothing teasing, until you’re trembling above him, breathless and soaked and spiraling fast.
“listen to you,” he mutters against your back, “listen to how wet you are,” he says, the sound of your juices squelching around his fingers. he grinds his thigh up into your clit as his fingers thrust faster, “you’re so fucking close,” he says like he’s memorized your body, “let go, cherry.” — that’s all it takes. your climax crashes over you. loud, wet, shaking. your whole body locks up, cries muffled into the cushions as your hips stutter and grind into him helplessly. you hear him moan low and wrecked behind you, feel the way he holds you through it, possessive and steady, and the aftershocks leave you limp and boneless in his lap, utterly spent. for a long moment, the only sound in the room is the movie, something ridiculous in the background while you both breathe like you’ve just run a marathon, the aftermath of your orgasm still pulsing through your limbs.
you slowly push yourself up from the couch, breath uneven, heart racing. jisung’s hands are still on your body, loose now. you shift, deliberately, turning to face him. you straddle his lap, eyes dark, flushed and determined. he looks at you with a teasing grin, shirt rumpled, cock painfully hard under his jeans. you lean in close, nose brushing his, voice soft but firm, “is there anything you haven’t done,” you ask, “that you’ve always wanted to try?”
his eyes narrow slightly, like he’s caught off guard. then he smirks. “well… i’ve always wanted to try fucking someone’s tits.” the way he says it, low and rough, with a glint of challenge in his gaze, makes your thighs clench. you don’t answer him with words. you slide off his lap, dropping to your knees in front of him with slow, deliberate confidence. your eyes stay on his, unbreaking, even as your hands reach for his jeans. “cherry,” he breathes, his voice as tight, “wait— are you sure?”
“let me take care of you,” you say simply, your voice almost gentle but it holds no room for argument. you remove your shirt, unhooking your bra in one, swift motion. he groans as you free him from his jeans, cock heavy and flushed and pink, leaking at the tip. you lick your lips slowly, then push your tits together, sliding them around him without waiting for permission. he hisses the moment his length sinks into the soft warmth of your chest.
“fuck—” he chokes, head falling back against the couch. you move slowly at first, guiding your tits up and down his shaft, letting the tip pop out near your collarbone before sliding him back down between the swell, “is this what you pictured?” you ask, licking across the head when it peeks out again, “me, on my knees, tits wrapped around you?”
he moans loud and raw, hands flexing uselessly at his sides, “yes. fuck–this is better–,” you pick up the pace, pressing your breasts tighter around his cock, bouncing faster now — letting him watch as you spit into the valley between, adding more slickness, more heat. every time his head slips out, you lean in and lick it, teasing, dragging your tongue slowly and deliberately across the tip, watching him fall apart. he’s panting, hips jerking, eyes locked on your chest like he’s in a trance, “i’m not gonna last—fuck—.” he grunts, you keep going, pace unrelenting, tilting your head just right so your tongue can keep teasing the slit each time. his hand shoots out before he can think, fingers tangling in your hair. he bunches it up in a tight fist, yanking your head back slightly so you’re looking up at him, mouth wet, chest glistening with his juices, eyes dark and teasing.
“fuck,” he growls through clenched teeth, “you’re so fucking hot like this.” you hum around the head of him, letting your tongue swirl filthily as he starts thrusting up your tits now, using your body, your mouth, like he’s completely lost to the feeling. you don’t let up either. if anything, you squeeze your breasts tighter, spit dripping down your cleavage.“you wanna come, jisung?” you murmur, voice sultry and sweet and wicked all at once, “wanna come all over my chest like a good boy?”
his breath punches out of him, the words making him feel dizzy, “jesus—yes. yes, please, cherry—”
“do it,” you whisper, the words vibrating against his cock, your lips ghosting over the head. “come all over me. i want it.” — with a hoarse, desperate cry, jisung jerks forward. his cock pulses between your tits, spilling hot and thick across your chest, your throat, your lips. he doesn’t stop until he’s emptied every last drop, his body trembling, your name falling off his lips like it’s the only word he knows. he collapses back against the couch, panting and wrecked, eyes glazed and stunned. his hand loosens in your hair but doesn’t let go. he stares at you, completely undone, chest heaving, eyes wide. his moans are still echoing in the room, the mess he left on your chest still warm, when you look up at him — eyes dark, lips wet, chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. but you’re not done. not even close. still kneeling between his legs, you tilt your heat, “that was so hot,” you murmur, fingers wrapping around the base of his cock, still twitching, still sensitive, “but i think you can give me a little more.”
jisung flinches, overstimulated, breath catching, “c-cherry—wait, i just—fuck—,” but you’re already leaning forward again. you lick up the underside of his shaft, slow and languid, catching every trace of cum from earlier. you flatten your tongue along the head, swirling it deliberately, watching his face as his whole body jolts from the contact. his thighs twitch. you take him into your mouth, lips wrapping around the head, sucking gently. he lets out the loudest moan yet, head falling back, hand fisting in your hair tight, like he’ll fall without you, “oh my—fuck, cherry, stop, i’m too—i’m still sensitive—shit,” his hand flies to your hair again, gripping. needing something to stay grounded.
you hum around him, “too much?”
“yes—no—fuck, i don’t know—,” you smirk around his cock and take him deeper. he moans, hips jerking, his head falling back against the couch with a soft thud, “jesus christ—fuck, you’re insane,” he groans, “you’re gonna suck the soul out of me—”and you do. you keep your rhythm slow and dirty, tongue dragging along every sensitive inch, bobbing your head with perfect pressure, letting your spit make everything messier. his thighs are shaking now. hands gripping your hair like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered.
“cherry, cherry, fuck, i’m coming again—” he gasps, voice breaking, “i can’t—” you don’t stop. you tighten your mouth around him and moan, letting the vibrations pulse through his cock. and that’s it. he comes again, harder this time, full-body trembling, a choked, strangled cry punching out of him as his cock twitches on your tongue. his hand fists in your hair, knuckles white, trying not to fall apart completely while you milk every last drop from him, sucking slow and deep, prolonging it until he’s shaking. by the time you finally pull off, his cock slips free from your lips with a wet pop, and he slumps backward, completely undone. chest heaving. eyes glazed. sweat beading at his hairline. you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and grin up at him, “still alive?”
he laughs, breathless and disbelieving, then leans forward, cupping your face with shaking hands, “i have no idea what the fuck you just did to me,” he whispers, voice wrecked. “but i need to fuck you. now.” his voice drops into your ear, “let’s finish this upstairs.” you nod, biting back a grin as he grabs your wrist and hauls you up, his grip tight, possessive, leading you up the stairs. you can barely keep up, your thighs still trembling, your chest sticky.
the second he kicks his bedroom door open, you’re pushed inside. he closes the door behind him, turns to face you — and it’s on. you crawl up his mattress on all fours, arching your back slowly, presenting yourself like a gift—bare, glistening, ready. he doesn’t speak. he just stares for a moment, already stripping behind you — shirt gone, pants kicked off, his cock standing already hard and heavy again. you can hear the change in his breathing, the way it stutters when he sees the curve of your ass, plump and ready for him. he kneels behind you, palms gripping your ass, spreading you open, “look at this pussy,” he says, like he’s talking to himself, “still dripping,” he mutters, breath shaking, “all this from sucking me off?”
“all this,” you whisper, hips grinding back against him, “from you.”
then — smack. his palm lands hard on your ass, and you jerk forward with a cry, fingers fisting the sheets. you barely recover before another slap lands, on the other cheek this time, sharp and loud, the sting blooming hot and electric, “you like that?” he growls, rubbing the fresh pink skin, “you want me to spank you while i fuck you?”
“y-yes,” you gasp, back arching deeper, “yes, please—” with no warning, he thrusts in, all at once, deep and fast and filthy, splitting you open around his cock. you scream into the sheets, mouth open and eyes wide, as he fills you completely, “fuck—jisung—fuck—,” he gives you no time to adjust. he sets a brutal rhythm from the start, hips snapping against your ass with loud, wet slaps, each thrust punching moans out of you. his hands grip your waist so tight you know there’ll be bruises later. you’re his tonight — and he’s making sure your body remembers it. another slap. harder now. making you clench around him, “you’re such a fucking mess,” he growls, “so wet—so tight—” your body starts to quake. the sound of his skin hitting yours, his breath in your ear, the sting of his hand. it’s too much, it’s perfect. “you love this, don’t you?” he pants, leaning forward, fingers finding your clit now, rubbing you in fast, punishing circles, “love getting your ass slapped while i wreck this tight little cunt?”
you nod, moaning louder, “yes—yes—please, don’t stop—”
“beg for it,” he snarls, still pounding into you, “beg me to fuck you harder.”
“please,” you sob, toes curling, “please, harder—faster—fuck, i’m so close—” he slaps your ass again, the sting making you shudder as his cock drives even deeper. “come on my cock, cherry. show me who you belong to.” you scream into his sheets, shattering, the orgasm tearing through you in sharp, uncontrollable waves. your entire body clamps down around him, back arching, moaning his name as your pussy spasms around his cock. you feel your slick dripping down your thighs. jisung loses it, “cherry—shit—gonna fucking come—” he growls, snapping his hips into you with brutal, desperate precision. his grip bruises your waist, dragging you back onto his cock as he pounds into you one last time, burying himself deep. he spills with a groan that sounds like it’s being ripped out of his chest—hot, thick ropes flooding your cunt, pulse after pulse, until you’re both shaking.
he stays there, cock twitching inside you, breathing hard against your back. you’re limp beneath him, utterly wrecked, moaning softly as the warmth spreads deep inside you, “jesus,” he breathes against your neck, voice ruined. when he finally pulls out, you both gasp at the wet, filthy sound. his cum leaks out immediately, spilling over and pooling beneath you. sticky, messy, obscene. jisung watches, and his eyes go dark, feral, “fuck,” he groans. “you’re dripping. look at that. my cum leaking out of you,” he spreads you open with two fingers, watching his release ooze out of you with a hungry, fucked-out expression. “shit, i didn’t even know i could come that hard,” he mutters, “your tight little pussy milked every drop out of me.”
you let out a weak laugh, your voice breathless and cracked. his gaze snaps to yours, smug and wild. you whimper when his thumb brushes over your slick folds again, teasing. “you’re still so wet,” he groans, almost to himself. “you like being full of me, huh?”
you nod, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy. “i love it,” you whisper. “i love how you fill me up. i can still feel you inside.”
jisung groans deep in his throat, like he might lose it all over again. “fuck, don’t say that. i’ll flip you over and fuck you stupid.”
you smirk, weakly. “what’s stopping you?”
he lets out a dark laugh, eyes still fixed between your legs. “your legs are shaking. you can barely breathe. you’ll pass out before i’m halfway through with you.” you scoff, voice hoarse. but he was right. your body was exhausted.
jisung shifts carefully, lying down beside you and tugging you gently into his chest. one of his arms slides under your head, the other wrapping tightly around your waist, like he needs to feel you breathe, and then, quietly, soft, worried, he asks, “are you okay?” you blink. “i didn’t hurt you, right?” he murmurs, “i know it got rough.”
you press your face into his neck, your hand resting on his chest. his heart is still racing beneath your palm, “no,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “you didn’t hurt me.” he pulls back just enough to look at you, brows slightly furrowed, searching your face. “are you sure? i—your thighs are shaking more than usual, and i got carried away, and—”
you cut him off with a soft kiss, slow, lazy, reassuring. “i’m sure, jisung,” you say, voice gentler now, “you were perfect.” the room grows quiet again, warm and full. your bare legs tangle under the sheets now, his fingers lightly tracing shapes along your spine. then, with a sleepy smirk playing on your lips, you break the warm silence, “you have another morning-after pill, right?”
jisung chuckled, the sound low and warm, vibrating under your cheek, “of course i do,” he whispered, brushing your hair off your face. you grinned, tilting your chin up to look at him, “i should really think about getting on birth control.”
he glanced down at you, one brow raised, a slow smile tugging at his mouth, “i mean… you don’t have to.”
you blinked, “no?”
“i could just wear a condom,” he added with a shrug, “unless you’re like… allergic to latex or into the thrill of potential fatherhood.”
you smacked his chest lightly, “wow. so noble. bet the trojan company misses you.”
“they’re surviving without me…barely,” he smirks. you giggled, burying your face into his neck, and he kissed the top of your head like it was second nature now, like affection was a reflex around you. you both fell quiet again after that, just your breaths syncing and your skin cooling against each other. the air between you is warm, quiet, buzzing with the afterglow and something more.
“do you think aliens are real?” you murmur, your voice soft and a little sleepy.
jisung hums, a little more excited than you’d expect, “definitely. the universe is too big for just us.”
“would you let an alien abduct you?”
“depends. is she hot?”
you laugh into his chest, and he grins, his hand sliding up to cup the back of your head gently, “what about you?” he asks, “ghosts?”
you shudder, “ugh, yes. my grandma used to say if you wake up at 3:33 a.m., it means something’s watching you.”
he stiffens slightly, then checks the time, “cherry.”
“what?”
“it’s 3:31.”
you gasp, pushing off his chest, “shut up.” he bursts out laughing, pulling you right back into his arms, “you’re so easy to mess with.” you slap his shoulder, but your smile doesn’t fade. it’s easy like this — wrapped in warmth, inside jokes, and the quiet stillness that only exists in the middle of the night, when everything feels suspended in time. you tilt your head slightly, studying his face in the dark. the curve of his jaw. the lashes that brush his cheeks when he blinks slowly. the tiny smile that still plays at his lips.
then, softer now, realer, “you’re really good at playing the boyfriend role.” he doesn’t answer at first. just breathes. then chuckles lightly, “i know how to be a boyfriend, cherry. i was one before i was a fuckboy.”
your chest tightens, “she really messed you up, didn’t she?”
his eyes stay on the ceiling for a moment, silent. then he swallows, “yeah,” he says, voice low. honest, “more than i wanted to admit. i hate being lied to. hate it more than anything,” he sighed, pulling you closer and you feel your heart break in your chest. but he doesn’t stop there. he sighs, long and shaky, and you can feel the tension ripple through him, the way his fingers are still against your skin, “at first, being the fuckboy was fun — the girls, the freedom. it felt like control.” he shook his head slowly, voice dropping into something almost vulnerable, “but now… i don’t know what i’m doing. i feel lost. the boys were right…i’ve been spiraling.”
you stayed quiet, letting him speak, letting the weight of his words settle between you. he’s holding you like you're safe. like you're good. like you’re not exactly the kind of person who’s about to break him all over again. your head rests on his chest, and you can feel the steady rhythm of his heart under your cheek. he doesn’t know what he just said cracked something open. because he doesn’t know about the bet. he doesn’t know that somewhere deep in the shadows of all the laughter and stolen moments, your friends are counting down the days, watching, waiting for you to win. for you to break him. and maybe at first, it was a game. but now you’re here. wrapped in his sheets. pressed against his chest like you belong there. listening to him breathe like he’s letting you in, like he’s trusting you.
and all you can think is: i’m going to hurt him. you blink hard, your throat tightening, the guilt blooming hot behind your ribs. it’s been creeping in for days now, but tonight, after that look in his eyes, the softness in his voice, it’s unbearable. he thinks he can trust you. and here you are, hiding a knife behind your back with a smile on your lips. your arms tighten around him as if that could somehow undo everything. as if holding him closer could keep the truth at bay. but it can’t. because the truth is… you’re starting to hate yourself. you’re starting to hate the way he looks at you. hate the way he opens himself up more each night through every touch, every sigh, every soft-eyed glance that says he’s slipping and doesn’t know how deep yet. hate that the closer he gets, the worse it’s going to hurt when he realizes what you’ve done. he’s going to look at you the same way he talks about his ex. like betrayal tastes the same, no matter who’s stabbing you.
you close your eyes and burrow closer, trying to memorize the weight of his arms around you, the warmth of his breath on your forehead, the way his heartbeat feels against your cheek. because you know you don’t have much time left. and when this all crashes down, you won’t get this again. you won’t get him again. and it’s no one’s fault but yours. and as his vulnerability wraps around you, a tight knot forms deep inside your chest. and in a last attempt to make yourself feel better, you tell yourself: this isn’t real. he’s doing this to get the boys off his back. he doesn’t have feelings for me.
🍒 DAY 12 OF THE BET - THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
you needed a drink. maybe two. maybe three. maybe four. so you ended up here — tucked into the corner of a quiet pojangmacha, orange tarp walls buzzing gently in the wind, the faint smell of grilled chicken and smoke thick in the air. there was an untouched plate of fried chicken in front of you and at least three empty green bottles beside it. you lost count after the second one. the guilt sat heavy in your chest. an ache no amount of soju could blur.
jisung was too nice. too soft. too good at playing the boyfriend role. too good at pretending it didn’t mean anything. and the worst part? you don’t know when you stopped pretending. yet you’re still lying to him. letting him open up to you. all for a stupid, reckless bet. $500. that’s what his heart was worth to your friends. that’s what you agreed to. god. what a joke. the world tilted slightly when you reached for the shot glass again, your fingers slow, clumsy. you missed it, knocked it over. soju spilled across the table and pooled at the edge of your untouched plate of chicken. you blinked at it, like it might explain something. like it might fix something. but all you felt was the sinking weight of it all. you thought maybe you’d cry. maybe scream. instead, you laughed. soft. bitter. a little broken.
the cashier had been watching from the back of the tent for a while now. he finally came over, wiping his hands on a towel, concern painted across every tired feature of her face, “miss?” he asked gently, “you don’t look well.” you opened your mouth to answer, but all that came out was a garbled, thick breath — not quite a word, not quite a sob. you swayed a little in your seat, eyes half-lidded, mouth dry. the man crouched beside your table, gaze softening, “i’m going to look through your phone and call someone okay?” he murmured, not really asking, just doing, because you clearly weren’t in any condition to, “let’s get you home in one piece.”
you look up at him, eyebrows furrowed. he’s pretty but jisung is prettier — “i have a boyfriend,” you manage to say, just wanting the random guy to leave you alone. he nods, a little confused, reaching across the table and picking up your phone. he looked through your emergency contact, only finding one name. then he pressed call and brought the phone to his ear, glancing at your hunched form, cheeks flushed red, knuckles gripping the edge of the table, eyes shut. the phone rang once. then again.
jisung’s eyebrow furrows at the man’s voice, “yes. who’s this? why do you have my girlfriends phone?”
“i’m sorry to call so late. i’m kim jungwoo, i work at a pojangmacha. your girlfriend is very drunk. not speaking clearly. i don’t think she can get home by herself.”
there’s a beat of silence on the other end. then, “where is she?” his voice sharpens. alert now. “is she safe?”
“she’s safe. just not well. you should come get her.” the guy gives him the address and jisung is already out the door before the phone call even ended. he got there in under five minutes. the pojangmacha was just a couple streets away from the dream house, but he still jogged the last block — hoodie half-zipped, hair still tousled from where he’d been lying in bed. jungwoo waved him over before he could even ask, “she’s at the back,” he said softly, “didn’t eat much. drank more than she should’ve.” jisung thanked him quietly, slipping through the rows of low plastic tables until he saw you — slumped over the last one, your cheek pressed against your own arm, lips puffed out into the most exaggerated pout he’d ever seen. you looked small. you looked soft. you looked like something he didn’t know how to take care of yet still wanted to, more than anything.
“cherry,” he called out gently, crouching beside you, “why’d you drink so much, huh?”
instead of words, you gave him a quiet whine. your lower lip jutted out like a child scolded at recess, your cheeks all puffed up, eyes a little misty. you blinked at him slowly. blurred. bright. then you lifted your arms. “my boyfrienddd,” you mumbled, reaching for him like it was the only thing your brain remembered, “you’re hereee.”
jisung stared for a second. then exhaled a shaky laugh. “yeah,” he said, “i’m here.” you clung to him the second he was close enough, arms wrapping around his shoulders, your face buried in the crook of his neck. you smelled like soju and citrus shampoo. warm. familiar. dangerous.
“you’re sooo cute, sungie,” you whispered, “you’re always so cute,” you pinch his cheeks, “like a cute little hamster alien!.”
he cleared his throat, ignoring all the wandering eyes now looking at your direction. he holds you carefully and amused, “you’re drunk.”
“i knoww,” you said proudly. he smiled despite himself, ordering a glass of water for you. then you started talking. something about aliens again. ghosts. time travel. then, in a heartbreakingly small voice, you mumbled, “if i was abducted by aliens, would you still remember me?”
he huffed a laugh, “what kind of question is that?”
“say yesss,” you whine.
he adjusted you in his arms, “yes.”
you sighed happily, “you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
jisung froze for half a second. it wasn’t the first time you’d called him that, boyfriend. you both said it in front of people all the time. part of the deal. but tonight, in this moment, the way your voice lilted so gently, the way you held him like he was the only thing tethering you to the ground – it didn’t sound like a joke. his chest tightened. a slow, unfamiliar ache. a stutter in his pulse he hadn’t felt since her. his high school girlfriend. he shook the thought out of his head and slipped your arms around his neck again.
“c’mon,” he murmured, bending slightly, “let’s get you home.”
you giggled as he hoisted you onto his back, legs locking around his waist, “piggyback ride,” you whispered giddily, nuzzling against his shoulder, “you’re strong.”
“you’re just really light,” he teased, smiling softly. you didn’t answer. just rested your cheek on his back, humming under your breath while he walked the familiar path back to the dream house. jisung didn’t complain once. not when your weight started to sag heavier in his arms. your cheek resting against his shoulder, lips occasionally brushing the curve of it as you rambled on and on, all soft, slurred nonsense that had him smiling like an idiot under the glow of the streetlights — and for a boy who swore he didn’t do real feelings anymore, he was starting to think he might be in trouble.
“do you think,” you mumbled, “like… actually think… that somewhere out there, aliens are in love?”
jisung let out a small laugh, steadying you with one hand beneath your thigh, “aliens in love?”
“yeah,” you slurred sleepily, “like, maybe one of them fell in love with a human. and now they’re sad. because they can’t be together.”
“sounds tragic,” he said, humoring you.
“exactly,” you pout, emotional. you tugged weakly on his hoodie, bringing your mouth closer to his ear, “and do you think ghosts ever get lonely?”
“probably.”
“i’d haunt someone just to talk to them. not in a creepy way. just like… ‘hi, how was your day?’ y’know?”
he laughed again, soft and breathy, “you’d beat casper for the friendliest ghost.”
“you’d still like me right?,” you whispered, “even if i was see through? even if i wasn’t real?” and somehow, the question seems deeper than just you being a ghost.
he adjusted you higher on his back, “i’d never stop liking you, cherry,” he says softly. that shut you up for a second. then, more quietly, “you’re my favorite person, jisung.” he blinked. slowed slightly on the sidewalk. your voice was all cotton and warmth and honey, sticky-sweet and clumsy from alcohol, but it sounded real. too real. and he didn’t know what to do with that. so he just kept walking. then you gasped, like you just discovered a new alien species, “would you still like me if i was a worm?”
he huffed a small laugh, biting back a grin, “am i worm too?”
“no!…yes!…i don’t know,” you mumbled, nuzzling into his neck like a sleepy kitten, “you’re so warm. and soft. like a human pillow. but strong. like a big tree.”
“a tree?”
“a sexy tree,” you clarified. he lost it then, shaking with laughter as you clung tighter to him. “you’re so drunk.”
“mmhmm,” you hummed proudly, “but you came for me.”
he glanced down, smile softening, “of course i did.” the dream house came into view ahead, glowing faintly in the distance. your words were getting quieter now, fading into sleepy murmurs, but your hands stayed curled in the front of his hoodie like you didn’t want to let go. and jisung didn’t want to let go either. something about carrying you like this, warm and soft and pressed against his back, trusting him fully, stirred something in his chest he hadn’t felt in years. it was terrifying. it was dangerous. but it was also sweet. stupidly, stupidly sweet. and he let himself enjoy it just a little longer.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room was dim when jisung carried you in, lit only by the soft blue hue of lights. you stirred a little as he closed the door behind him with his foot, but you didn’t protest when he set you down gently on the edge of his bed. he crouched in front of you, carefully tugging your shoes off one by one, then reached for the makeup wipes he stole from jeno’s room. “gonna clean you up, okay?” he murmured. you didn’t answer, just blinked at him slowly, lips parted slightly, all glassy-eyed and pink-cheeked. he held your chin in his hand with a touch so light it could’ve been a whisper, wiping away the smudged mascara with slow, gentle swipes. you were beautiful like this. even drunk, even messy. you were beautiful and soft and his. or at least… pretending to be. he tried not to think about that part. when he was done, he pulled an old hoodie over your head, oversized and warm. then he helped you slip out of your jeans.
“c’mon,” he whispered, easing you down into bed, “let’s sleep.” you followed him, turning toward him, pressing your face to his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of the hoodie you were wearing. the silence wrapping around you both.
“…i’m sorry,” you murmured. he froze.
you said it again, “sorry,” and again, voice cracking now, “i’m so sorry.”
his arms tightened instinctively around you, confused and worried, “hey, hey, what are you sorry for?”
you looked up at him then — eyes glassy, a couple tears slipping silently down your cheeks, your lips trembling in a way that undoes him, “i’m just… sorry,” you whispered.
he reached up, thumb brushing your tears away, his touch impossibly gentle, “don’t be sorry,” he said softly, tucking your head under his chin, one hand cradling your back. “i’m your boyfriend. it’s my job to take care of you.” his voice dropped lower, “you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. but just know that you can, okay?”
that broke you. you buried your face in his chest and cried — silent, aching sobs that shook your whole body, small fists curled into his hoodie like you didn’t know where else to hold on. he just held you. no questions. no pressure. only warmth and arms wrapped tightly around you, rubbing slow circles into your back until your breathing softened, until your tears slowed, until you finally drifted off, tear stained and clinging to him in the quiet dark. but jisung stayed awake. he laid there, holding you like you were something delicate, something rare, something his, and stared up at the ceiling as something heavy and terrifying took root in his chest. he hated seeing you cry, how broken your voice sounded, how helpless he felt when he couldn’t fix it. and fuck. he realized it then. right there, in the middle of the night, with your breath soft and even against his neck and your hands still curled into him like he was home — he didn’t want this to be convenient anymore. he didn’t want to pretend to be your boyfriend just to get the boys off his back. he wanted you. he wants to be the one you call when you’re hurting, the one who makes you laugh when you can't stop crying. he wants the tears, the rambling, the kisses, the chaos — all of it. he was giving you his heart. no conditions. no pretend. just you. only you. and as you slept, curled against him like you were already his, jisung closed his eyes and made a silent promise to himself. he was going to make sure you never had to cry alone again.
🍒 DAY 13 OF THE BET - LIAR.
the morning light filtered in gently through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the bed and the mess of tangled limbs and rumpled sheets. jisung woke first. and when he saw you there, curled into his side, one hand still fisted in the fabric of his hoodie, lashes fanned out across your cheek, lips slightly parted – something in his chest squeezed hard. he didn’t want to move. didn’t want to break the spell. so he just watched you for a while. let himself memorize the shape of your face in the light. the soft rise and fall of your breathing. the way your body instinctively gravitated cloer, like even unconscious, you knew where safety was. eventually, you stirred. your lashes fluttered. you blinked blearily up at him, “what time is it?”
“almost eleven,” he said softly, brushing a thumb under your eye, “how are you feeling?” you groaned, flopping back onto your side, “like someone stuffed a cactus into my skull…how embarrassing was i last night?”
he smirks, “not that bad…but,” he looks at you, “you did call me sungie.”
you groan into your hands, “goddd, eww, don’t tell me anything more.”
he laughed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “it was cute.”
you roll your eyes, “i smell like alcohol and chicken.”
he just laughed again, “come on, let’s shower. it’ll help.” the shower steamed up around you, fog curling on the mirror. hot water poured down your back and you leaned into jisung’s bare chest with a soft hum, eyes fluttering closed. his hands were already on your waist, thumbs stroking along your back as though he couldn’t stop touching you. you let out a breath, tilting your chin up. he smiled at you, slow, soft, pressing a kiss to your forehead, making your stomach twist. “you look like you’re about to fall asleep standing up,” he murmured in your ear.
“might,” you mumbled, “too cozy.” he laughed under his breath, reaching for the shampoo on the side and squirting a bit into his palm, “turn around,” he murmured, voice low and still a little raspy. you obeyed without question, and the next thing you felt were his fingers gently working through your hair. slow, thoughtful motions, like you were something fragile.
“mmm,” you hummed, eyes slipping shut, “you’re good at that.” he grins, “guess i’ll add shampoo technician to my resume.” you smiled as he rinsed you off carefully, tilting your head back under the stream so none of it ran into your eyes. his hands always steady. always careful.
“your turn,” you say, squeezing out a generous amount of shampoo into your palm, but the second you reached up, you realized your mistake. he was much taller. you are already on your tiptoes, arms barely reaching the crown of his head as you attempt to lather him up. he started laughing, bending his knees slightly to help, “you’re so short.”
“stop laughing,” you huffed, stretching, “it’s not my fault you’re a giraffe.” his jaw dropped, “okay, that’s not even a good insult.” you were both giggling now, your hands doing their best to rinse off his soapy hair, faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. then he pressed a kiss on the corner of your lips and the atmosphere shifted. still warm, still playful but heavier now. slower. the laughter faded, replaced by something quieter. your chest rose and fell in time with his. water trailed down your collarbone. his hands slid gently down to your hips. and then — he leaned in. it wasn’t a hungry kiss. it was soft, soaked in steam, lips brushing slowly over yours. your fingers threaded into his wet hair and you pulled him closer, pressing your bodies together. he guided you backwards until your back was pressed against the slick shower wall, one hand braced beside your head and the other wrapped tight around your waist, trying to keep you steady. you were already breathless from the kissing but as he tried to line himself up, you both realized something at the same time. this…wasn’t going to be as graceful as it looked in the movies.
he grunted, “okay–wait. hold on.”
“yeah,” you giggled, trying to find your footing, “this is actually really difficult…why are you so tall.”
“why are you so short,” he argues back, teasing. you burst out laughing, “wait…try it this way,” you said, shifting your leg up and resting it awkwardly on the side of the tub, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage, “i think this is how people do it.” he adjusted, positioning himself again, mouth brushing yours as he tried not to laugh, “you’re gonna get a leg cramp.”
“just go slow,” you say, he looks at you one more time before lining himself back in, but as soon as he entered you already knew it was the wrong angle, “oW!, okay nope. nope. that is not it.” he pulled away immediately, eyes wide before you both cracked up again, laughter echoing off the walls.
“okay, what about this way?,” you said, breathless, turning around and pressing your palms flat to the wall, glancing over your shoulder with raised brows, “lets try from behind. its gotta be easier.”
jisung blinked, “that looks so hot, like holy shit i could bust right now,” he says, earning another giggle from you. he moved, hands gripping your hips as he tried again, carefully, slowly, a moan tumbling out of your lips as he entered, stretching you just right – but between the water still running down your legs, the slippery floor, and the height difference… “fuck this,” he muttered. he stepped back with a groan, palms rubbing over his face as he blinked water out of his eyes, “this isn’t working, i’m gonna slip, you’re gonna crack your head open and that’s not exactly the fantasy i had in mind.”
you laughed again, turning around to face him with a pout, “so much for shower sex being hot and spontaneous.”
“it is hot,” he muttered, voice lower now, watching the way water slid on your skin, “you’re hot,” then his hand snaked around your waist, tugging you towards him, “but we're taking this to the counter before someone dies.” you squeaked as he lifted you, bridal-style, with ease. your wet bodies pressed together, slick skin on skin, carrying you to the bathroom counter and setting you down gently, lips finding yours again in another kiss. this one deeper. needier. no more giggling. just the low hum of his moan against your mouth and the way his tongue slid slow and sweet against yours. you opened your legs without a word, and he stepped in close, hand wrapping behind your knee and dragging it up over his hip. his other hand ran down your spine, settling at the base of your back, pulling you forward until your ass was right on the edge of the counter, forehead pressed to yours, both of you breathing like you’d run a mile, “okay?” he whispered, his voice barely audible over your own pulse. you nodded, breath catching, “yeah.” he kissed you again, slow and deliberate. his hands slid lower, tilting your hips forward, adjusting you to fit against him perfectly. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers tightening just slightly as you felt him press closer — the warm, heavy weight of him nestled against you now, not moving yet, just resting there like he was savoring the closeness. then, with a deep inhale and eyes locked on yours, he shifted, lining himself up. you could feel the tension build between you, your grip tightening around his shoulders as your thighs instinctively squeezed around his waist. his breath hitched, then he pressed forward. slow. careful. you exhaled sharply, eyes fluttering closed as the familiar stretch bloomed through you. intense, slow-burning, your body remembering everything at once. it still caught you off guard, even after everything. this time it wasn’t awkward. no slipping, no bad angles. the cold marble of the counter a sharp contrast to the heat blooming between your thighs. you sucked in a breath, nails digging into his shoulders, eyes fluttering shut as he bottomed out with a soft, broken sound that made your toes curl, your fingers clenching at his damp shoulders. he paused, his thumb stroking over your hip as he whispered, “breathe.”
“i am breathing,” you managed, voice shaky.
he kissed your jaw, “you feel—god, you always feel so good.” your walls clenched at the sound of his voice. his hands gripped your waist tighter, and when he moved again, deeper, more deliberate, your mouth fell open in a gasp, body instinctively leaning forward into his. he settled into a rhythm, hips snapping forward with practiced precision. each thrust dragged a moan out of your throat. every movement sent sparks through you. too much and not enough. he moved like he knew exactly where you needed him, how to angle you just right, what to say to keep you hovering right there in that delicate place between pleasure and something more terrifyingly tender.
“jisung—,” you gasped when his palm found your breast, warm and broad and teasingly light at first. he thumbed over your nipple slowly, already peaked for him, with just the right amount of pressure to make your back arch into him. your voice caught, eyes fluttering as he leaned down to suck one into his mouth, sending a full-body shiver racing through you. he rolled them between his fingers while fucking into you, making your whole body tighten from the overload. pleasure spiked hard and fast, your moans growing louder as the stimulation grew.
“look at me,” he panted, voice strained, “i wanna see your face.” your eyes blinked open, lashes damp, and met his. you could see everything there — the heat, the tension, the desperation like he wanted this to mean something even if neither of you said it aloud. your bodies slapped together, wet skin meeting wet skin, and the sounds echoing in the bathroom were filthy. his thumb dragged down to circle your clit, drawing tight little spirals, making your thighs tremble around his hips, “jisung—fuck—don’t stop.”
“i’m not,” he grunts, lips brushing your jaw, “not until you come all over me.” his hips sped up, thrusts growing rougher as he leaned in and bit gently at the curve of your neck. and with one more perfectly angled thrust and a sharp tug on your nipple, you broke — coming hard, thighs trembling around him as your head tipped back, mouth open on a silent moan. he didn’t stop fucking you through it, watching your face as you fell apart for him.
“fuck, cherry,” he grunted, pulling out quickly with a stutter in his hips. he wrapped his fist around himself, panting, jerking himself with quick, messy strokes until he groaned your name. you watched with hooded eyes as he spilled across your stomach in hot, thick ropes, his head dropping to your shoulder, whole body shaking from the force of it. his hand came up instinctively to rub slow, grounding circles over your thigh. you stayed like that for a moment, both of you catching your breath in the heavy silence that followed. your stomach sticky, your legs spread, your whole body buzzing. the air thick with steam and heat and something quieter beneath it all.
then, without a word, he reached for a towel, expression softening into something almost boyish. you sat there quietly on the counter, flushed and still glowing, watching him as he moved. careful. focused. no teasing now. just jisung, gentle and quiet. he dried you off first, murmuring soft apologies every time the fabric grazed too rough against your skin, even though it never did. his touch was tender, like you were made of glass. he knelt to gently wipe down your legs, then dabbed at the marks he’d left on your chest, his thumb brushing over them like he could smooth them away. when he finally finished with himself, he wrapped the towel low around his waist, grabbed a second one to twist through your damp hair, then leaned down and whispered, “c’mon, let’s go before you start shivering.” back in his room, he dressed you in another one of his oversized hoodie and a clean pair of boxers that you had to roll twice at the waist to keep from slipping, “you look cute.” you rolled your eyes, making your way back to his bed and fighting off the butterflies in your stomach, “you say that to all your near-death shower partners?”
he laughed, quickly got dressed then grabbed his phone and flopped down onto the bed beside you, “nope. just you,” he says smirking, then “what do you want for lunch?” he murmured.
you turned your face into his shoulder, “surprise me.” he chuckled, soft and low and ended up ordering you both sandwiches, hash browns, and iced coffee from the little corner shop he liked. when it arrived, he let you steal fries off his plate and take long sips from his drink like it was the most natural thing in the world. neither of you said much. but the silence wasn’t heavy. it was full — warm with the kind of comfort that doesn’t demand words. you didn’t go back to your dorm that day. you could’ve. you should’ve. your laundry was overdue. but the second jisung reached for your hand again, just casually, like he’d done it a thousand times, you knew you weren’t going anywhere. you smelled like him. the hoodie you wore was stretched and worn and perfect, and it fell over your bare thighs in a way that felt too domestic for someone who wasn’t technically your boyfriend. but you didn’t want technicality today. you just wanted him.
jisung played home alone 2 from the t.v. in his room. you were half tangled in his sheets already, sitting cross-legged with your cheek resting on his shoulder. when the movie started playing, he leaned back, arm stretching around you, and you curled into him without a word. this time, you actually watched the movie. there was something easy in the way you fit against him. he laughed at the dumb parts, mumbled the iconic lines under his breath, pointed at the scenes he liked best. you chimed in just enough, but mostly… you just listened. let his warmth surround you. let your hand rest against his chest and feel his heartbeat. it didn’t feel like a game. not anymore. you didn’t feel like a girl chasing a prize. you felt… like a girlfriend. and worse — like one who didn’t want to stop. at one point, he glanced down and caught you staring. his grin was lazy, eyes warm, “what?”
you shook your head quickly, “nothing.”
“liar,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your nose, “you keep looking at me like that and i’m gonna think you’re in love with me.”
you shoved his shoulder playfully, hiding the way your breath caught, “you wish.”
“pretty sure you were just watching me, not the movie.”
“only because you were quoting every single line.”
“that’s just boyfriend excellence.” you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t move away. if anything, you curled in closer. and he didn’t stop touching you. he kept his hand on your thigh. pressed kisses to your temple. tilted your face up every now and then just to steal a kiss, like it was second nature. like he didn’t even have to think about it. and you let him. because you wanted him. not just his body, not just his jokes, not just the soft way he took care of you. you wanted all of him.
the movie faded to black. jisung got quiet, his head tilting back against the pillows, his arm loosening just slightly around your shoulders. his breathing slowed. even his teasing little comments died out, replaced by the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. you shifted just enough to look up at him. his mouth was parted slightly, lashes resting against his cheekbones. the arm curled around you was slack but warm — so warm, so familiar now. he was beautiful like this. the softness of him. the way he let you lay here. the way he let you stay. the way he let you in. and god. it hit you all at once. not in a fireworks kind of way. not like the sky split open or the music swelled or your life suddenly changed. it hit you softly. like a wave lapping against your ankles. like warmth pooling in your chest. like the feeling of finding something you didn’t know you’d been missing.
you were in love with park jisung. and the thought didn’t scare you like you thought it would. in fact, it felt… inevitable. of course it was him. of course it had always been him. you felt it in every part of you. in the way your shoulders dropped around him. in the way your smile came easier in his presence. in the way your fingers itched to stay tangled in his, even in sleep. you were in love with him. you didn’t know when it happened. maybe in the dance studio, maybe when he showed you off to all his friends, maybe the first time he kissed you just because. but it happened. it was done. you’d fallen. and now, that stupid, awful bet you made with your friends felt like poison in your mouth. you didn’t care about the $500 anymore. you didn’t even know where you’d get it in two days. you just knew you’d figure it out. you’ll tell your friends. end the bet. pay them somehow, even if it meant draining your savings or actually getting a job. he deserved the truth. he deserved more than this version of you, the one still lying by omission while wrapped in his sheets, his clothes, his arms.
he stirred slightly, brow twitching. you froze, not wanting to wake him, but he only sighed and nuzzled closer into your chest with a sleepy hum. like he knew you were there. like even in sleep, he trusted you. your heart squeezed. you love him. and tomorrow… you’d deal with everything else. but today, you just wanted to be his. even if you didn’t deserve to be. you pulled him closer. you let your hand caress his hair. and you tried not to cry.
🍒 DAY 14 OF THE BET - I WON.
the soft hush of winter light poured in through the blinds, casting golden shadows across the unmade bed. you were curled up right in the center of it—bare legs tangled in his sheets, his hoodie swallowing your frame, the warmth of the morning still lingering in your bones, your stomach still full from another late lunch and the shared kisses.
downstairs, the dream house was coming alive again. the boys were back from their short holiday break, voices overlapping as they carried boxes and strung lights, the distant sound of someone arguing over music choices echoing up through the floors. you could hear jisung somewhere in the chaos—laughing. teasing. he sounds happy. it made your chest twist. you glanced at your phone. hesitating for a second before your thumb pressed the facetime call – sion. the line connected fast, and his voice was already loud, “well, well, well. calling me from lover boy’s bed, i assume?”
you rolled your eyes. “shut up.”
“oh my god. you’re smiling,” he said, clearly amused. “don’t tell me. you’re losing.”
you let out a reluctant laugh, raising a playful brow, “actually, i won.”
sion grinned, “did you now?”
you groaned, rolling your eyes softly, “yup, i won the bet, pretty sure jisung’s fallen for me.”
the door creaked open. you didn’t hear it. jisung had come back upstairs, a stupid smile on his face because he was about to ask if you wanted to go with him to pick out last minute decorations and maybe make out in one of the aisles. something stupid and domestic. he only opened the door a crack. but that was enough. he stopped cold when he heard your voice—light, playful, full of laughter. his name in your mouth. and the words.
“jisung’s fallen for me.”
and worse—
“i won the bet.”
the grin on his face vanished. it felt like the air got punched out of his lungs. like someone had shoved ice down his spine. he stood frozen in the doorway, hand still on the knob, every muscle locking up as the words echoed in his skull, again and again. i won the bet. his chest rose and fell sharply. his fingers curled into the wood of the doorframe.
he didn’t hear your voice falter after that. he didn’t hear you add, “and i’m in love with him, sion.” because jisung had already backed away. quietly. like a ghost. the door clicked shut behind him as softly as it had opened. and everything inside him started to burn. jisung hated liars. he always had. he hated people who smiled to your face and twisted the knife when you turned your back. he hated the fakes, the users, the ones who played games with people’s hearts just because they could. it was something he promised he’d never fall for again. and now here he was—falling apart in the hallway, barely breathing. you had lied to him. the only person he thought understood him. the only person he thought was playing on his side. he couldn’t unhear it. couldn’t unsee your smile when you said it. the ease in your voice. the fact that you were still in his bed, wearing his hoodie, still tasting like him, and calling him a fucking bet like it was funny. he clenched his jaw and forced his legs to move, fury buzzing just beneath his skin. he walked downstairs like nothing had happened. like the world hadn’t just shifted under his feet.
“bro, where’s y/n?” chenle asked, halfway through unraveling a tangle of lights.
“she’s asleep,” he says.
“you good?” jaemin asked, voice low, watching him too carefully. jisung grabbed a box of streamers and plastered a smile onto his face. “yeah.” he said calmly. like he hadn’t just heard the girl he let in, really let in, tell someone he was just a pawn in her stupid game. like it hadn’t cracked something deep and unfixable inside him. the rest of the boys moved on. laughter returned. decorations went up. but jisung was somewhere else entirely. because upstairs, the girl he’d fallen for had been giggling when she said his name. laughing when she called him a bet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
“wait…if you’re in love with him, then technically that means you lost,” sion corrects, grinning.
you shrug, smiling softly, “doesn’t feel like it.”
sion was quiet for a beat after your confession. he was focused now. no more teasing, at least for a moment, “damn, you really love him,” he said finally, earning an eye roll from you, “so when are you gonna tell him?” you let out a shaky breath and tucked your knees up to your chest, phone still pressed to your ear, the fabric of jisung’s hoodie brushing your cheek, “new year’s eve,” you said softly.
“new year’s?” sion repeated, “that’s in, like, two days.”
“i know,” you murmured, “i just… i want one more day. tomorrow, i’m gonna end it officially—with the others. i need to come clean to everyone first, before i tell him.”
sion let out a low whistle, “damn. karina’s never gonna live this down.” you laughed into your sleeve, muffling the sound, “stop. i know. she’s never gonna let me forget it.”
“and the 500 bucks,” he added smugly. you sighed harder this time, flopping onto your back and burying your face into jisung’s pillow, your voice muffled by the cotton, “i don’t even know where i’m gonna get five hundred dollars, oh my god.”
“girl, you better get a job or sell a kidney or something.”
“i hate you.”
he laughed, “alright, alright. i’ll shut up. but for real… i’m happy for you, i knew you weren’t so stone cold in there.” you smiled, a little shy, a little shaky, “gee, thanks you’re just glad you’re gettin $125.”
“maybe that too,” he smirks, “but you got this, okay? end it. then tell him. just be honest.”
you nodded, “yeah, bye, sion.”
“bye, mrs. park,” you hung up on him mid-laugh. you had no idea that just minutes ago, jisung had been standing on the other side of that door. that he’d heard the wrong part of your confession — at some point, the low hum of the house faded into the background. you didn’t even remember putting your phone down. when you stirred awake, the room was dim. the sun had disappeared, traded for dusk and shadows. the hum of the house was quieter now, distant. you blinked and reached for your phone.
1 new message from jisung 🐹
jisung 🐹: went out with the guys. didn’t wanna wake you. sleep well.
you sat there staring at the text for a few seconds too long, heart skipping. still sweet. still gentle. he didn’t say anything was wrong. and yet… something in your chest tugged uncomfortably.
cherry🍒 : you could’ve woken me :(
cherry🍒 : but it’s okay. i should go home anyway. see you on new year’s eve?
the reply came five minutes later.
jisung 🐹: yeah. see you then.
that was it. three little words. no teasing, no pet name. a period at the end. it was small, subtle. almost nothing. but you felt it. you brushed the feeling away, climbing out of his bed, pulling your coat over his hoodie without changing. you didn’t want to take it off. not yet. you padded quietly down the stairs, phone in hand, trying not to overthink the distance in his message. maybe he was tired. maybe he was drunk already. maybe you were spiraling. you slipped on your shoes. the door clicked softly behind you as you stepped outside. the cold air hit your face. you tugged jisung’s hoodie tighter around you, afraid of the what’s to come.
🍒 DAY 15 OF THE BET - A BET’S STILL A BET
they showed up fast. it only took one message in the group chat.
y/n: can you guys come over? i need to tell you something.
now your dorm room was filled with coffee, oversized hoodies, and the collective chaos of your favorite people. karina tossed her coat on your chair like she owned the place. dongpyo flopped onto your bed, sipping his iced coffee. sophia sat cross-legged next to him, munching on a croissant. sion made himself comfortable on your dorm floor. quiet. watching. already knowing. karina broke the silence, “okay, the fact that you’re pacing like this is scaring me. are you pregnant?”
“no,” you blurted, eyes wide.
“are you sure?,” dongpyo asked, “because with what happened at the bowling arena, i wouldn’t be surprised.”
“dongpyo!”
“sorry, continue.”
you took a deep breath, exhaling through your nose, “i admit defeat. i lost the bet.”
that landed like a pin dropping in a quiet room. karina’s jaw dropped. “you what?”
sophia blinked, “wait, lost the bet as in… you caught feelings?”
“real feelings!?” dongpyo gasped, “cold, dead-hearted, emotionally repressed you?”
you rolled your eyes, nodding slowly, “i didn’t mean to. i didn’t even realize it was happening until it… already had.”
karina stared at you, stunned, “holy shit.”
“but—” sophia’s voice cut in gently, “—do you think he likes you back?” that question hung in the air like smoke—light, lingering, impossible to ignore. everyone stilled. because suddenly, the energy shifted. the teasing faded. and all that was left was the one terrifying possibility no one had said out loud yet: what if he didn’t?
you swallowed hard. “i don’t know.”
karina looked at you carefully, “has he said anything?”
“he’s sweet,” you whispered, “he’s… been amazing, actually. and the other day, everything felt different. like it was real. but i don’t know if that was just me seeing what i wanted to see.”
you shook your head, “i don’t. but i also don’t know what’s changed for him. or if anything changed.”they knew about your deal with him. the whole dating thing to get the dream boys off his back.
sophia leaned forward, voice softer now, “are you going to tell him?”
“tomorrow,” you said quietly, “i wanted to end the bet with you guys officially first.”
karina blinked, then smiled, slow and real. “wow.”
“wow!!,” dongpyo repeated, more dramatically, “our ice queen melted. i knew this day would come.”
“shut up,” you mumbled, heat crawling up your neck.
“no, but seriously,” karina said, grinning, “i’ve been waiting for someone to melt that frozen little heart of yours since freshman year,” she said, her smile growing wider, “you always pretended you didn’t want love, and now look at you…getting all soft in jisung’s hoodie.”
you looked down at yourself, realizing you were still wearing it. still holding on. they all started laughing. and it hit you, all at once, how deeply they knew you. sion leaned back, smiling, “i can’t believe it’s jisung, though. of all people. the ultimate fuckboy was the one to get to you.”
you let out a half-laugh, “trust me, no one’s more surprised than i am.”
“but hey,” karina said, grinning, “a bet’s still a bet.”
“unfortunately,” you groaned, “i know.”
“any idea where you’re getting $500?” sophia asked innocently.
dongpyo smirked, “you should sell feet pics! or start an onlyfans!” you shoved him off, laughing.
“karina’s already shopping,” sion said, pointing at her open phone screen. karina didn’t even deny it, “no rush, babe. but i am eyeing these new heels.” they were teasing again. the tension eased. laughter returned. but underneath it all, the fear stayed. you forced a smile. tomorrow, you’d tell jisung the truth. you could only pray he’d forgive you.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
your room was quiet. the glow of your bedside lamp was warm, steady, nothing like the way your stomach had been flipping for the past hour. tomorrow was it. the end of everything. you’d finally come clean. you’d finally tell him the truth.but tonight, you were staring at your phone like it might crack open and show you the future.
you typed:
cherry 🍒: you have a theme or dress code for the party?…or should i just wear something short and sexy like last time? 😌
you hit send, heart skipping. you were joking, but also... not. you waited. three minutes passed. then–
jisung 🐹: idk. up to you. you’ll look good either way.
you stared at the text. something about it didn’t sit right. it wasn’t cold, exactly. it wasn’t mean. but it was off. no teasing. just distant. you frowned. your thumbs hovered over the keyboard again. you wanted to say something light, playful, like you always did. but instead, your heart told you to just be honest. a little brave. a little soft.
cherry 🍒 : okay. well...i have something important i want to tell you tomorrow. just don’t run away, okay?
you stared at those last words before hitting send. you almost deleted them. you almost convinced yourself not to make it dramatic. but you didn’t. you left them there. because you knew the truth would be heavy, and you needed him to stay — you didn’t know that downstairs, across campus, in a frat house lit up with half-strung lights and glittery decorations, jisung was staring at your message like it was a death sentence.
“important,” you said. he knew what that meant. in his mind, you were finally going to tell him the truth. that he was a bet. that every kiss, every laugh, every soft sleepy morning had been a game to you. that you were going to end it and walk away with your little inside joke, your victory lap, your friends laughing behind his back. the image made his blood boil. because he had believed you. he had trusted you. he had let you in. and now you were about to break him. so his heart did what broken hearts do best — it started building armor. fast. if you were going to hurt him tomorrow, then he’d beat you to it. hed’ smile. he’d act fine. he’d play it cool. he’d say something cutting, show that he never cared. tomorrow, you’d finally come clean. but he was already bleeding. and in his head, you were still laughing. and if he was a game to you, then fine, you could be a game to him, too. his fingers moved fast on the screen.
jisung 🐹: alright. i won’t run. see you :)
🍒 DAY 16 OF THE BET - BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
you step through the doors of the dream house like you’re stepping into a battlefield. the music pounds through your bones, but all you can hear is your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. your friends are close behind. karina squeezes your hand gently, sophia gives you a hopeful look that nearly breaks you, sion and dongpyo flash encouraging smiles. because tonight is the night you tell him everything — the bet. that you ended it. that you fell. fast. hard. that you’re in love with him. you swallow, the taste of fear thick in your throat as your eyes scan the sea of faces. jaemin’s laughing with angel in the kitchen. mark and kitten are tangled on the couch, soft and warm. haechan’s got princess in his lap, whispering something in her ear. chenle is spinning baby around like the world begins and ends with her. jeno has his hands all over bunny on the dance floor. renjun was trying to avoid all the girls coming his way. but jisung was nowhere to be seen. he’s not in the kitchen. not on the couch. not among the dancers grinding to the bass drop like the world isn’t ending.
so you go upstairs. you don’t knock. you don’t breathe. you push open his door — and the world shatters. he’s in bed. with someone else. she’s straddling him, lips on his neck, her nails trailing down his bare chest like she owns it, like you didn’t just fall asleep there two nights ago. his shirt’s on the floor. the blankets are kicked back. his hands are on her hips. like it means something. like you never meant anything. your heart collapses. you can’t move. can’t speak. can’t even think. you just stand there, blinking, trying to piece together a world that suddenly doesn’t make sense. and then something inside you snaps. the pain ignites. the betrayal burns through your ribs like wildfire.
“jisung, what the fuck?!” you scream, voice ragged.
the girl shrieks and fumbles for the blanket, yanking it over her chest, “who the fuck are you?”
you look straight at her, voice cracking like a storm tearing through the sky, “i’m his fucking girlfriend!”
she freezes. her face crumples in horror, eyes darting between the two of you, “you’re —? but… he said he was single—”
“i am.” jisung’s voice slices through the room, low and lethal. he doesn’t even look at her. his eyes are locked on you. and it hurts more than if he’d slapped you. you flinch. the girl curses under her breath, grabbing her clothes in silence. she throws you one last venomous glare before slamming the door behind her, leaving you alone in a room that suddenly feels like it’s on fire. the silence is deafening. you stare at him. he’s still breathing hard, chest rising and falling, hair messy, lips swollen. his expression isn’t guilty. it isn’t even apologetic. it’s bitter. cold. empty. you shut the door behind you quietly, the click of it loud as a gunshot in the room. you lean against it like it’s the only thing keeping you upright.
your voice is shaking, brittle, “do you wanna explain yourself?”
he scoffs. cold. “do you?”
your breath catches, “what?”
“don’t insult me,” he yanks his pants on, not bothering to hide the fury brewing behind his eyes. “i already know.”
you blink, “what…what are you talking about?”
he laughs, a horrible, broken sound that doesn’t reach his eyes. “i heard your phone call with sion.” you go still. he pulls a shirt over his head like the fabric is the only thing keeping him from exploding.
“was that supposed to be funny? a game? something to laugh about with your friends?” he spits, his voice rising. “a challenge? how many points do you get for breaking me, huh?”
“jisung, that’s not—”
“how much was i worth?” he snarls, “did you already get your prize? want me to smile for the fucking group chat too?”
you shake your head, stumbling a step forward like your legs barely work, “you don’t know anything—”
“you lied to me!” he roars. you flinch. he’s never raised his voice at you before, “i let myself believe in you. i let myself trust you. i thought you were the only one who understood me. and it was all a fucking joke to you, wasn’t it?”
“no—jisung, listen to me—”
“i don’t care,” he cuts you off sharply, “i was just using you too. remember?” he steps closer, each word slicing you in pieces, “—to shut everyone up. to have something pretty to look at. it was all an act. every kiss, every touch — all of it.”
“i called it off,” you whispered yet the words crack the air like lightning.
jisung stills. “…what?”
you take a shaky breath, eyes blurring. “that call you heard. that was me ending it. i told sion it was over. that it didn’t matter anymore because i—”
“don’t,” he cuts in, like the sound physically hurts him, “don’t say it.”
“because i love you.”
his face breaks. and it’s the most painful thing you’ve ever seen. like he’s trying to hold himself together with trembling hands. “…no.” he shakes his head, voice small. childlike. “that’s not what you said.”
“it is,” you whisper, “you just weren’t listening. you only heard what you wanted to hear.” he stares at you. you can see the war happening behind his eyes — the part of him that knows you’re telling the truth, and the part that’s too scared to believe it.
he shakes his head. “you’re just saying that now to win. to clean up the mess you made. why didn’t you tell me then?”
“i was scared,” you cry, “i didn’t know how to tell you that yes!, this did start as a bet,” you admit, voice shaking, “but i fell for you. i didn’t plan it. i didn’t want it. but it happened. and i came here tonight to tell you.”
“you don’t get to act like you’re the victim,” he spat, “you don’t get to cry like you’re the one that’s been betrayed.”
“i’m not the victim.” your voice trembles. “but you didn’t even ask. you didn’t talk to me. you just—assumed the worst. and you…” you swallow hard, “you fucked someone else.”
he closes his eyes. like your words are knives, “you think that wasn’t on purpose?”
your heart cracks all over again, split open in a way you didn't know it could, “you did it… to hurt me?”
“i did it because i hate you.”
and it’s the final blow. not yelled. not spat. just cold. sure. deadly. like he meant it. like he’ll never take it back. and in that moment, something inside you goes quiet. the world doesn’t shatter — not loudly, at least. it folds in on itself. like a balloon slowly deflating. like a slow ache building in your ribs until it numbs everything else. because there’s a unique kind of pain that comes from hearing “i hate you” from the person you love. it’s like being forgotten. like every moment you shared meant nothing. like you never mattered in the first place. like you were never real to them at all. your mascara is running. your voice is a ghost of itself. and something inside you finally gives out. you crumple under the weight of it all. “i’m sorry, jisung.” you say it like it could fix something. like it could hold him together when you can’t even hold yourself up.
“i’m sorry,” you choke again, and now your voice is shaking — shattered glass in your throat. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” the words are helpless. weak. but they’re all you have left. so you give them to him. one last thing for him to reject. and your tears fall freely now. silent. desperate. but he doesn’t stop you. he doesn’t move. he doesn’t say anything at all. he just watches you break in front of him. and that’s the worst part — not the silence, not the absence of forgiveness but the fact that he doesn’t reach for you. not even once. you take a breath that doesn’t quite make it to your lungs. your throat is closing. your hands are shaking. and you can’t be here anymore. you turn around slowly, like even your body is reluctant to let go. your hand trembles as it closes over the doorknob, one last connection to the room where everything once felt safe. but you don’t wait. you don’t wait for him to stop you. you don’t wait for him to say your name. you don’t wait for a single word. because some part of you already knows it won’t come. so you walk out. and the door clicks softly behind you. but it feels like a slam. like a goodbye neither of you will recover from. and you run.
“ten! nine! eight!”
your steps echo down the staircase like gunshots to your chest.
“seven! six! five!”
everyone’s cheering. champagne glasses in hand. confetti already falling.
“four! three!”
all of the couples pair off, clinging to their partners.
“two! one!”
you walk out the door as the entire house erupts in cheers, kisses and fireworks — renjun sees you. his heart drops. your face is streaked with tears. your lips trembling. and you don’t look back as the door closes behind you. he doesn’t hesitate. he climbs the stairs. he pauses outside jisung’s room. CRASH. the sound of something breaking, glass shattering against the wall. a guttural scream, muffled fists hitting the bedpost. renjun opens it slowly. the room is wrecked. sheets tangled, a lamp knocked over, drawers open, a hole punched through the closet door. and jisung? he’s on the floor. knees pulled up, head in his hands, body trembling from too much pain and too much rage. he looks up when he hears the door. his eyes are bloodshot, wet, face crumpled. and he whispers, voice small— so, so broken — “why do i always play the fool, hyung?”
renjun says nothing. he just walks forward and kneels beside him. and this time, jisung doesn’t hold it back. he lets the tears fall and he cries. ugly. loud. grieving.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the floor is littered with objects. jisung sits with his back against the wall, knees drawn to his chest, knuckles red and raw from punching furniture. renjun stays beside him, steady and still, a quiet presence in the chaos. jisung’s shoulders tremble with every breath, but the sobs have dulled now, like his body is exhausted to keep breaking. then – a knock. and the door creaks open. “jisung?,” jaemin’s voice, light at first, teasing out of habit, “we didn’t see you downstairs, we wanted to say happy new—,” he stops. his eyes sweep over the room, the broken furniture, the mess of paper and clothes. then he lands on jisung, curled up on the floor like something hallowed him out form the inside. the reflection too familiar to the older boy. renjun meets his gaze and gives a small shake of his head. jaemin steps inside slowly, his usual grin nowhere to be found. “bro!,” another figure appears behind him. it’s chenle. laughing until he sees what they’re seeing, “yo what the fuck happened?”mark’s next. one by one, all the dream boys enter his room – a group known for their noise and confidence and shameless chaos. but now? now they’re silent. staring at their youngest member in pieces on the floor.
“is he hurt?,” jeno asks. renjun shakes his head, “not physically.” the others hover for a second like they don’t know what to say next. like they’re seeing the version of jisung all those years ago — stripped of his charm, his confidence, his walls. just a boy. broken open.
“someone wanna tell us what the hell happened?” haechan murmurs. renjun looks down at jisung, who hasn’t moved since his last whispered question. he doesn't answer. no one speaks. and then jisung finally talks, quiet, eyes unfocused, like the memory of the night is still sinking in for him too, “she came here to tell me she loved me.” his voice is hoarse. like it’s painful to say the words aloud. “she told me she called off the bet,” his voice is rasp, splintered and dry. his eyes are somewhere else. like he was trying to remember what just happened in the past hour.
theres a beat of silence, stunned and sick. then jaemin stiffens, “wait. bet?,” he asks slowly, “what bet?” jisungs’s head drops, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes like he can block the memory out, “i was a game. to her and her friends. make me fall and she wins.”
no one breathes. haechan’s tone is sharp, “tell me you’re joking, jisung.” he looks up at his hyung, eyes glassy and lips quivering, “i wish i was.”
mark’s face twists, “you’re telling me that everything between you was fake?”
“she said it wasn’t, not in the end,” jisung says hoarsely, “she said she meant it. that she…that she loves me.”
“that doesn’t make it okay,” jeno snaps, exhaling hard, dragging a hand through his hair, “she played you.”
“she tried to undo it,” jaemin says, quieter.
“guess she was just a good actress,” chenle spits.
“enough,” renjun cuts in, sharper now, “this isn’t helping.” the room goes quiet again – not because the anger is gone but because they can finally see what renjun’s seen since the moment he walked in. jisung is wrecked. no defiance. no excuses. just a boy in a pile of his own ruin.
“she was going to tell me tonight,” jisung whispers, “but i didn’t let her. i was so angry — i just wanted to hurt her back so i—,” he cuts off swallowing the next words, “—i slept with someone else and i made sure she saw it.”
“jesus christ,” chenle mutters. you’re not there, but your ghost clings to every breath in the room. the boys are all picturing it – the way you must’ve looked walking in on him with someone else, the way you ran out during the countdown. jisung lets out a bitter laugh, suddenly remember something else – something older, deeper. a lie that began everything, “i never even told you guys why we started dating.”
they all glance up, “what do you mean?,” mark asks.
“i told you we just clicked,” jisung says, “but that’s not what happened,” he exhales, broken and bitter, “i made her my girlfriend because i wanted you all to get off my back. i wanted you guys to stop thinking i was a fuck-up.”
haechan’s brows pinch, “jisung…”
“it wasn’t real at first. i didn’t even know i liked her. but then she made me laugh. she understood me,” he says, voice cracking again, “and i let myself believe that maybe this time, it could be different…turns out i do just fuck things up.” the room is quiet again. except this time, it’s not out of anger. it’s grief. for the version of jisung they’d been waiting for — the one who started to soften, started to try. none of them sure if he’ll ever let that part of him come back. renjun breaks the silence, with that same intuitive calm that’s held jisung together this whole time, “you said she loved you.” jisung nods once, eyes shut.
“then maybe it was real for her too, too”
“but i didn’t believe her,” jisung says, “i didn’t even give her the chance to explain.” he’s crying now. no one says anything. no one dares to. because they know the hurt between you and jisung wasn’t just betrayal. it was love that turned to ruin. trust shattered by fear. hope undone by pride. and even if you both meant it in the end…jisung may never believe it again. not after this.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you’re on the floor of your dorm room. still in your dress. curled up in the center of the room like you collapsed there the second you walked in. mascara streaks your cheeks. your chest rises and falls in uneven gasps, your whole body trembling from the cold, from the hurt, from the truth. you barely remember how you got home. your heels are gone. somewhere on the sidewalk. the night is a blur of pounding music and muffled voices that dissolved into static. but none of it matters now. the door slams open. footsteps freeze. “babe?” karina’s voice cracks as she sees you.
“oh my god,” sophia whispers. dongpyo and sion peeking in to see you broken on the floor. they rush toward you. you try to speak, but all that escapes is a sob — broken, raw, pulled straight from somewhere deep inside. it silences the whole room. karina drops to her knees, instantly beside you, gathering you in her arms like she’s trying to shield you from whatever shattered you, “what happened?” she breathes, “what did he do to you?”
you shake your head, “it’s my fault.”
sophia sits on the other side of you, brushing your hair back, gentle and careful. “what do you mean? you were going to tell him. you were going to finally say it.”
you nod, choking on your own words. “i—i did. i tried,” you sob. “i went to his room and—and he was…” you can’t even finish. but they all understand.
“h-he was with someone else,” your voice breaks again, hands pressed to your chest like you’re trying to keep your ribs from collapsing, “and i can’t even blame him. i lied to him. i hurt him. i started this whole thing as a fucking bet.” you cover your face, tears leaking through your fingers. “h-he heard my phone call with sion, he thought i was laughing at him. thought i was bragging.”
“wait,” sion says, slowly. “but that call was you ending it. you told me you fell in love with him.”
“he didn’t hear that part,” you whisper, “i’m so stupid,” you cry, “i let myself fall in love with someone i was supposed to be pretending with and then i went and ruined it. i deserve this. i deserve everything—his hate, the way he looked at me like i was nothing—”
“stop,” karina cuts in sharply. “no, you don’t.” dongpyo snaps, “that is not love.”
“you were exclusive,” sophia says softly. “even if it started out fake. it became real. you didn’t just imagine that.”
“but i broke his trust.”
“and he broke yours,” sion says. calm. brutal. “he slept with someone else while still being your boyfriend. doesn’t matter if it was real-real or convenient-real. you were still together. that is not okay.”
you shake your head violently, “you didn’t see his face. you didn’t hear his voice. i destroyed him. he said he hated me—,” you whimper, karina pullina you tighter, “—it hurts so much.”
sion sits back on the floor beside you, his expression dark, “if I had known what he was going to do—”
“no,” you interrupt, voice hoarse. “—it’s all my fault.”
dongpyo snorts, furious. “he didn’t mean to fuck someone else? okay.” karina glances at him as to say shut up this is not helping.
“i think… i think i would’ve forgiven him,” you admit, “if we had just talked about it.” that silences them. because they believe you. because they know you. and even in your guilt, even in your self-blame, it’s clear — your love for him is real. and it’s killing you. the room is quiet except for your sobs. and four people who love you. helpless to fix it, but willing to sit with you in the wreckage anyway. just like the boys did for him.
🍒 JANUARY 5 - HAPPY NEW YEAR.
a mandatory student council assembly. dress code: casual. attendance: required. the kind of event that’s pointless on a normal day. but today, it feels like a battlefield. the auditorium buzzes with idle chatter as students filter in. the dream boys stick out like always, shining, confident, loud. but even they’re quieter than usual. muted. careful. because at the center of them sits jisung. silent. head down. he’s wearing a black hoodie. his hair’s a mess. his eyes are dull. his legs bounce restlessly under the chair, like he can’t sit still with everything still weighing on him. mark and jeno flank him on either side like bodyguards. the rest — jaemin, renjun, chenle, haechan — are watching the entrance. waiting. and then…you walk in. karina’s got her arm looped through yours. sophia is clutching your water bottle like she’ll throw it at someone if needed. sion and dongpyo trail behind, both tense, both ready. karina locks eyes with mark. her stare is icy, unreadable. sophia doesn’t even blink when she sees haechan glaring. dongpyo is death staring chenle for no reason. and sion zero in on jisung. not threatening — just watching like they’re counting how many pieces of him still exist. but none of it matters. because neither side can undo what happened. neither group can fix the way you’re both breaking.
the second jisung looks up and sees you — he stops breathing. because you’re a shell of the girl he remembers. you still look beautiful. but not in the way you used to shine. you’re wearing makeup like armor. you’re walking upright only because your friends are holding you there. your eyes are sunken. red. tired. he doesn’t even try to look away. he just watches you walk across the auditorium. watches you pretend not to notice him. watches your hands tremble when you sit down. watches how sophia squeezes your shoulder. how karina leans in to whisper something only meant for you.
renjun mutters under his breath. “this is bad.”
“she looks like she hasn’t slept in a week,” mark says.
jeno exhales, shaking his head, “neither has he.”
the tension is palpable. students all around begin to pick up on it — eyes darting between you and jisung. whispers spread like wildfire: “are they not together anymore?” “didn’t they spend new year’s together?” “i heard he cheated.” “i heard it was a bet.” “wait, she cried in the hallway, didn’t she—?”
the room feels suffocating. and in the middle of it all, jisung expected to feel hatred. or anger. maybe even numbness. but all he feels… is pain.
the house lights dim slightly as the dean of student affairs, dr. kun, steps up to the podium with a strained smile and a click of the mic, “good afternoon, students, happy new year to everyone! thank you all for being here today. we’ll be starting with our mandatory annual seminar on substance awareness and drug prevention.” a half-hearted shuffle echoes through the crowd as they slouched deeper into their seats. you sit stiffly in your row, hands clenched in your lap. the dean starts talking. something about resources on campus, peer mentorship programs, the dangers of prescription misuse. but his voice is far away. muffled. like your ears are filled with static. it’s not the topic. it’s not the noise. it’s the silence inside you. too loud. too painful. you’re not even hearing what he’s saying. all you can hear is your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your own breathing growing shallow. you dig your nails into your palms, eyes fixed on the floor, trying to stay grounded. but your throat aches. your vision blurs. your stomach twists – you can’t do this. not here. not with him in the same room. you try to blink the tears back. try to force air into your lungs. but your body has already decided. it’s already unraveling, already flashing the painful memories of that night. you lean into karina and whisper, “i need to go.” she doesn’t hesitate. just nods, squeezes your hand once, and lets you go. sophia shifts to the side. sion and dongpyo don’t say a word. they don’t stop you. they know you’ve hit your limit. you move as quietly as you can, slipping past knees and backpacks, your shoulders hunched like you’re trying to disappear. the auditorium is dim, but not enough to hide the shine of tears in your eyes. you push open the side exit, and the heavy door swings shut behind you with a soft click. you’re gone. but not unnoticed. because five rows back, jisung saw everything. he wasn’t listening to the dean either. he hasn’t listened to anything since you walked in. he noticed the way you haven’t made eye contact with anyone. he noticed how you barely moved — like even breathing hurt. and he notices how you left. quietly. quickly. broken. and it hurts him to know you’re crying alone because of him. his eyes are fixed on the door even long after it closes. he can’t see your face anymore. but he doesn’t need to. because it’s already burned into him. renjun glances at him, then toward the door. “go,” he says under his breath. but he doesn’t move. he just sits there, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists, every inch of him holding onto his pride. his brain screaming she lied to you over and over again.
🍒 JANUARY 6 - LOVERBOY 101.
the studio is already buzzing with chatter when you walk in. music from someone’s speaker plays faintly. a few students laugh, stretching lazily, still in post-holiday haze. you take your spot quietly near the back wall and sit down to stretch. you don’t say much. your eyes are fixed on the floor. karina watches you like a hawk from her spot nearby, concern written all over her face. and then the door opens. jisung steps in, hoodie half-zipped, jaw tight. his eyes sweep the room — not looking for you, but already knowing where you are. his gaze lands on you for half a second. karina sits straighter. professor taeyong’s voice cuts through the noise, “alright everyone, welcome back! hope you had a restful break. reminder, your final duet performances are next week, i’m giving you class time to rehearse. use the space wisely.”
the moment the words leave his mouth, jisung starts walking toward you. and karina is immediately on her feet. she intercepts him halfway, standing between you and him like a shield. “seriously?” she says, arms crossed. “you really think you get to just walk up to her like nothing happened?”
he stops short. his expression hardens. “it’s for the project.”
“i don’t care if it’s for the olympics,” she snaps. “back off.”
“karina,” you say softly, not looking at either of them. “it’s fine.” she glances down at you. you give her a small nod — too tired to fight. too broken to run. just ready to survive this. karina’s jaw tightens. but she finally steps aside.
“touch her too hard and i’ll break your fingers,” she mutters as she passes jisung. he doesn’t respond. you look up and meet his eyes for the first time since that night. there’s no heat in his gaze. no spark. just…ache.
“let’s just get this over with,” he says flatly. “we don’t want to fail.” you nod once. you both move to the corner. same routine. same steps. but everything feels foreign now. when the music starts, your bodies fall into the motions, the muscle memory still intact. you hit each beat, each turn, each line. but there’s no connection. no softness. every time his hand brushes yours, you feel like you might cry. every time his fingers settle on your waist, your chest aches so hard it’s hard to breathe. and he feels it. god, he feels it. because you used to melt into his touch. you used to smile when your steps aligned. you used to laugh when you fumbled the spin. now you barely even look at him. now it’s just silence and space and a gaping hole where your warmth used to be.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room is dim now, the sun long since dipped beneath the horizon, leaving the sky a dull gray. the only light comes from the faint glow of jisung’s laptop, music playing faintly, something low, slow and heartbreak shaped. he’s been like this since he got back from class. been like this for the past week. blank. gutted. another full day of pretending not to care. his jaw’s been clenched for hours. his chest aches like it’s been hollowed out. all day, your silence echoed louder than anything. you didn’t even look at him during the second run-through. and when you finally left the studio without saying goodbye, he felt like something inside him had cracked permanently. a soft knock breaks the silence. he doesn’t answer. the door opens anyway. jaemin steps in, tossing a gatorade onto his stomach before sitting backward on his desk chair, arms folded on the top of it and just…stares at him.
“you gonna stay like this forever?” jisung doesn’t answer. jaemin glances around the room — clothes in piles, water bottles everywhere, the whole place feeling like it’s been slowly closing in on itself.
“you gonna talk to me, or should i just sit here and give you a live ted talk on how you’re actively ruining your life?” jisung finally speaks, voice low. “i’m not ruining anything. it’s already ruined.”
jaemin raises a brow, “because of one mistake?”
“because i’m tired, hyung,” jisung says, sharper now, “every time i let someone in, i get fucking burned.” jaemin’s expression softens, but he doesn’t interrupt. “you think this is about a bet?” jisung goes on, sitting up now, “it’s not just the bet. it’s not just that she lied. it’s that she knew how messed up i was. she knew what happened with my ex. and she still did it. she still made me believe she cared.”
jaemin studies him carefully, “so…what?, you’d rather stay angry? keep holding onto that pride until it eats you alive?”
“i’d rather not fall for a lie again.”
jaemin leans forward, “jisung, let me teach you something.” the younger boy rolls his eyes, “what is this? fuckboy 101, version 2.0?”
jaemin shakes his head, grinning, “more like… loverboy 101.” jisung scoffs but jaemin continues anyway, “i get it. believe me, i get it. remember when i found out angel was lying to me?…it felt like the ground disappeared. i hated her. i hated myself for trusting her. but now,” jaemin smiles faintly, “now she’s the love of my life.”
jisung scoffs bitterly, “yeah you two are fucking perfect. congrats.”
jaemin shakes his head, “we’re not perfect. we choose to love each other anyway.” he continues, quieter now, “you think i didn’t feel what you’re feeling right now? the rage? the betrayal? the ache in your throat that doesn’t go away, no matter how long you sit in silence?…you’re not the only one who’s been lied to, jisung,” jaemin leans forwards, “—sometimes people mess up. but it doesn’t mean the love isn’t real. it doesn’t mean it can’t become something true.” he continues, “—love isn’t just about the perfect moments, it’s not just the kissing or the teasing or the stupid conversations that happen at 3 a.m.”
jisung frowns but listens. “it’s also the part after. when everything’s shattered. when you’re bleeding and bitter and still you reach for each other,” jaemin’s voice is steady now, words slow and deliberate, “because love doesn’t survive without forgiveness. trust me. i almost lost mine due to my pride.”
jisung swallows hard. “i can’t go back there, hyung. i can’t be that guy again. the one who loves too loudly just to be left behind.”
“you’re not that guy,” jaemin says. “you’re someone who’s been hurt, yeah. but you’re also someone she chose to come clean to. someone she was ready to fight for.”
“she walked away too.”
“because you broke her too,” jaemin says, voice calm but firm. “you cheated, jisung. you told her you hated her. you let her leave.” another beat of silence. “you think being cold makes you stronger. but all it’s done is make you lonely.”
jisung lowers his head, “she looked at me today like i was a stranger. i don’t think she’ll ever forgive me,” he finally says, his restraints loosening slowly.
“if you love her, then tell her…at least try,” jaemin says. then he gets up, heads toward the door, then stops and glances back, “i thought angel would never forgive me either,” he says, “now she has half of my wardrobe and eats my food without asking.”
jisung lets out a soft, miserable laugh. jaemin smiles. “don’t let love walk away just because you let your pride win.” then he leaves. and jisung sits in the quiet. still hurting. still scared. but now, maybe, with something shifting. enought to admit to himself that he has become every version of something he hated. enough to admit to himself that he doesn’t hate you. he hates what it means to love you. because that means risking it all again. and he’s not sure he knows how to survive another fall.
🍒 JANUARY 7 - I KNOW IT’S OVER.
the soft glow of the studio lights spills onto the hardwood floors, reflecting off the mirrors that once captured your happiest moments together. the room is quiet, save for the low hum of music looping from your speaker the same track you’ve been dancing to for nights now, its melody looping endlessly, like a lifeline. a lullaby for the broken. a desperate attempt to drown out the echo in your chest where his voice used to live. you spin. a turn you’ve done a hundred times now. your body moves on muscle memory but your mind is somewhere else. until it slams back into place. because there he is. jisung. you freeze. and the air between you shifts. he looks like a memory — hoodie loose around his frame, face pale, eyes shadowed like he hasn’t slept in days. his fingers twitch at his sides, like he’s not sure whether to stay or run. you turn to face him fully, heart caught in your throat. he takes one slow step inside, the door clicking shut behind him. neither of you say anything for a beat. then he swallows, voice hoarse, “what are you doing here?”
you hug your arms tighter around yourself, like that might hold all the pieces in, “i’ve been coming here every night,” you confess, voice soft.
his brow furrows, “why?”
you take a breath, shaky, “because this is the only place that still feels like us.”
his face softens. like something inside him shatters a little — you never walked away.
you can’t meet his eyes anymore, “...why are you here?”
he doesn’t answer right away. when he does, it’s a whisper, barely above the music, “i couldn’t sleep,” he says, “i thought maybe if i came here, i’d…remember how to breathe again.”
the silence stretches again, but now its not empty. now it’s heavy with everything unsaid. then you look up at him again, voice smaller this time, “do you…still hate me?” he freezes. you see it happen — the way the question knocks the wind out of him. he looks at you, eyes wide, aching.
“no.” he says quickly. sharply, “no, i don’t hate you.”
you take a careful step forward, “but you said it like you meant it.”
his voice is low. wrecked. “i was angry,” he says, “and scared. and i didn’t know how else to make the pain stop.” your voice trembes, trying not to fall apart, “what do you feel now?”
he doesn’t speak. for a long moment, it’s just the sound of the music and your hearts breaking in tandem. “terrified,” he whispers, “i’m terrified that if i say it, it’ll break me again,” he murmurs, “that i won’t survive it.”
you step towards him, cautiously, voice trembling, heart pounding, “say what?”
he looks at you, really looks at you, and for a second he’s not angry and grieving. he’s just a boy in love, broken open in the worst way. his next words slice the air clean in half.
“i love you.”
three words. simple. quiet. devastating. honest. you feel them all the way down to your bones.
“i love you,” he repeats louder this time, surer, “and i don’t know how to stop. even when it hurt. even when i hated the way you make me feel so much, i still couldn’t stop.” he’s breathing hard now. eyes glassy. “—you made me feel like i mattered. like i wasn’t just a fuck-up hiding behind jokes and half truths. you looked at me like i was worth something. you made me laugh when i didn’t know how to anymore. you brought the air back into my lungs,” he says, voice cracking, “and when i thought it was all a game, when i thought i was just a bet — it broke everything in me.”
“i lashed out, i know i said awful things and i did worse,” he chokes, “i wanted you to hurt like i was hurting. i wanted to forget you. but i couldn’t. and loving you…is the only real thing i’ve ever felt and it scared the shit out of me.”
you’re crying now, tears streaking silently down your cheeks, “i should’ve told you sooner,” you say, barely above a whisper, “i should’ve told you everything. i shouldn’t have played the game at all.”
he steps forward, gently, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
you shake your head, “it matters to me. because i love you. i never stopped loving you. even when i hated myself for how i hurt you. even when you looked at me like i was nothing.”
“you were never nothing,” he says, voice thick with pain. he closes the distance, hand lifting to cup your cheek. his thumb brushes away a tear with the softness of someone touching something sacred. he’s trembling. you’re trembling. and still, you lean into his palm like it’s home. and something in him finally gives. he pulls you into his arms like he’s been holding every inch of this in since the day he let you walk away. it’s not just a hug. it’s unraveling. a surrender. you crumble against him, clutching his hoodie like if you let go, he might disappear. your face presses to his chest, where you can feel his heartbeat racing. you both hold on like it’s the only thing keeping you alive.
“i’m sorry for lying to you,” you whisper, “for not being braver.”
“i’m sorry for hurting you,” he says, voice muffled in your hair.
“i’ve already forgiven you.”
he pulls back just enough to see your face. to read your eyes. and then he kisses you. soft, like a secret. slow, like an apology. then deeper, desperate, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of forgiveness on your lips. trying to taste every version of the future he thought he lost. the music is still playing low and quiet. the studio pulsing with something living. the broken trust. the missed chances. the words that came too late and the love, raw and imperfect, but real. and in that studio, under the quiet hum of lights and the weight of everything you’ve been through, you begin again.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the door creaks softly as you step inside jisung’s room, the quiet click of it closing behind you a stark contrast to the noise still floating up faintly from downstairs. in here, the world has stilled. you decided to start over, so you let yourself forget that the last time you stood in this room, your heart was breaking. you focus instead on the soft scent of his laundry detergent, something warm and cottony. his desk is cluttered, lights low, his bed is a mess of blankets and pillows, like he hasn’t bothered pretending things are normal. you don’t say anything. you just collapse together onto the mattress. limbs tangling beneath the covers, bodies fitting together like they remember each other even if your hearts are still catching up. his fingers find yours, tracing light shapes on the inside of your wrist. you’re curled into his side, face half-buried in the worn fabric of his hoodie, where it smells most like him.
then — he speaks, voice barely louder than a whisper, “i know it’s over… but can i ask what the prize was?”
you blink. a pause. the question catching you off guard. “seriously?”
he shrugs a little, eyes still fixed on the ceiling, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “just curious.”
you hesitate. your fingers curl a little tighter into the fabric of his hoodie, “…five hundred dollars,” you say finally, voice a little sheepish, a little ashamed.
he turns his head to look at you, eyes a little wide, “oh.”
“yeah,” you mumble, eyes flicking up to meet his, “dongpyo said i should start an onlyfans.”
his entire body stiffens, “fuck, no.”
you burst into giggles, the sound muffled by his chest, “relax. of course not. but i do need to get a job.” he chuckles, one of those soft, genuine ones that makes his eyes crinkle slightly and your stomach flutter, “we’ll throw a party and charge entrance, you’ll be fine” he says without hesitation, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
you blink up at him, “seriously? you can do that?”
he brushes some hair away from your face, smile still there, “we do it sometimes. how do you think we can afford these parties anyway?”
you look at him with wide eyes, “wait, but i’ve never paid to get in.”
“hot girls get in for free,” he says simply, like it’s a rule of physics.
you narrow your eyes, “so are sion and dongpyo also hot girls?”
he laughs, “they’re your friends. of course they don’t have to pay.”
“but we’ve been going to your parties since freshman year.”
“yeah,” he says, turning to you with a crooked grin, “and you took my virginity freshman year, you think i’m gonna charge you and your friends for cheap vodka and stale doritos?” he teases. you snort, “wow. so romantic.”
“i try.” your laughter fades slowly into something quieter, the kind of silence that feels full, not empty. the kind where your fingers find his again. where your breaths fall into rhythm. where your heart finally stops racing. his hand drifts to your waist, thumb tracing soft illness.
and then, in that quiet, his voice returns. gentler this time. “promise there won’t be any more lies between us?”
you lift your head just slightly to meet his gaze. his eyes are serious now. you nod immediately. “i promise.” and you mean it. but then, your expression shifts. your smile fades. your gaze slips away. your fingers, which had been tracing the hem of his sleeve, still. something pulls in your chest — like a weight you’ve been ignoring until now. he notices it instantly, “what is it?” he asks softly, “is there something else?”
you hesitate. then you look up at him, wide-eyed and fragile. your voice trembles when you speak, “don’t freak out.”
he sits up slightly, brows furrowing, “you can’t start with ‘don’t freak out’ and expect me not to freak out.”
you sit up too, grabbing his hand quickly, squeezing, “just promise me you won’t.”
“okay,” he says slowly, searching your face, his heart thumping in his chest, “i promise. what is it?”
you take a breath. then another, “i haven’t…” you pause, “i haven’t gotten my period.”
for a second, it’s like the walls have sucked all the air out of the room. his eyes widen, “wait—what?!”
you wince, “i said don’t freak out.”
“I’M NOT FREAKING OUT!,” he squeaks, voice cracking halfway through the sentence, “i’m just–processing…processing very quickly and very loudly.”
you cover your face with your hands, “oh my god.”
he scrambles upright, starts pacing his room like it’s suddenly caught fire, “okay, okay, this is fine. totally fine. you’re not even sure right? like, maybe it’s just late?”
you nod, “it’s probably nothing. it’s probably stress. i mean, everything’s been so—”
“how late?” he interrupts.
you hesitate, “…a week.”
he stops pacing. blinks. breath caught. “okay, okay, its okay,” he nods, eyes wild, “we don’t know anything yet. you’re right. it’s probably nothing.”
you nod. he nods. he sits back down. you’re both nodding at each other like you’re trying to physically keep your panic from exploding. and then he blurts, “should i google it?”
you burst out laughing, “what exactly are you going to google, jisung?”
“i don’t know!,” he says, flustered, “symptoms! timelines! how to breathe properly without fainting?” you giggle as he falls dramatically back onto his bed, placing a hand over his heart like he’s surviving a mild heart attack.
“but…you’re not mad?,” you ask quietly, the humor fading just a little.
he turns his head toward you, gaze instantly soft. “no. why would i be mad?” his voice is gentle again. he laces his hands through yours, “i’m just… nervous.”
you exhale in relief, plopping back down to his side, and cuddling back into him, “it’s probably just stress,” you mumble, your voice muffled against his hoodie.
“probably,” he agrees, “but either way–,” he looks at you, voice soft, “we’ll figure it out together. okay?”
you nod, heart full, leaning into him as he wraps his arms around you again. and just like that — nervous laughs, quiet reassurances, slow kisses between heartbeats — you're right back where you belong. together. no lies. no games. just this.
🍒 JANUARY 8 - BREATHING.
the five pregnancy tests are dramatically lined up across jisung’s bathroom counter like sacred relics. you’re on his bed, knees bouncing. he’s pacing the room in socks and a hoodie over his boxers, clutching the receipt like it’s a legal document.
“i just wanna say,” he begins, dramatically holding up a hand, “this is all your fault.”
you scoff, “my fault?”
“yes,” he says, whirling around, “you’re the one who had the audacity to say don’t freak out and then immediately hit me with i haven’t gotten my period. that’s literally a war crime.”
“oh, please, you’re the one with the weak pull-out game,” you smirk and he looks genuinely offended.
“you told me not to wear a condom!,” he shouts, pointing at the bathroom, “now there’s five pregnancy tests in there! i nearly wiped out the entire pharmacy shelf, the cashier looked at me like i was crazy.”
you snort, “i told you to buy one! it’s not my fault you bought five!”
“i panicked!,” he defends, “what was i supposed to do?! trust one stick?!,” he cries. you dissolve into giggles and he collapses next to you on the bed like a man defeated by science. “i cannot believe this is my life,” he mutters into a pillow, “one minute i’m chilling the next im sweating in aisle five of a drugstore, googling can stress delay a period or am i a dad…and now i have trust issues with my own penis!”
you shake your head, laughing so hard you nearly fall off the bed, “you are so dramatic.” and then your phone timer buzzes. you both freeze. slowly, like you’re approaching a sleeping bear, you walk in the bathroom together and hover above the counter. jisung’s muttering under his breath, “please, jesus, buddha, aliens, anyone.”
you check the first stick – negative. second – negative. all five — negative.
a beat passes. then you both scream. “LET’S GO!!,” he yells, sprinting around the room like he’s just scored the winning goal in a championship, “I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. MY PULL OUT GAME IS STRONGER THAN THE HOLY TRINITY.”
you’re crying with laughter now, wheezing as you double over, “YOU WERE SWEATING THROUGH YOUR SHIRT FIVE MINUTES AGO!.”
“you had me questioning myself, cherry!,” he says, pointing dramatically, “but deep in my soul, i knew. i knew. i am a legend.”
“you bought a pack of tests and baby diapers,” you point out.
“i was just being prepared!”
“you were mentally naming the baby, weren’t you?”
he pauses. guilty silence. “...maybe.” you laugh again and he catches you in his arms, spinning you around dramatically before tumbling with you back onto the bed. you’re both grinning so hard your cheeks hurt.
“seriously though,” he says, nudging his nose against yours, “i’m glad we’re okay.”
“me too,” you whisper, brushing your thumb across his cheek, “that was the worst ten minutes of my life.”
“right?,” he whispers back, then kisses you once, soft and sweet. then he leans in, voice dropping into a mischievous whisper against your mouth, “i think we should celebrate…by having really hot sex right now.”
you snort, “you’re unbelievable.” he grins, eyes glinting with mischief, “unbelievably sexy,” he corrects, rolling over to cage you beneath him. his hoodie brushes against your bare legs as he leans down, pressing another kiss to your lips, he feels you smile. then the kiss deepens, slow and unrushed as you melt into him, hands tugging his hoodie off. you can feel his heart pounding under your palm, and when you roll your hips against him gently, his breath catches against your lips. jisung groans, low and quiet, his hands sliding up your waist, thumbs brushing over the soft curves of your ribs, “i missed this,” he whispers, voice hoarse, “missed you.”
“i’m right here,” you murmur back, brushing your nose against his, “i never went anywhere.” he kisses you again, hungrier now, but still slow, still careful. like he wants to savor this. like he’s memorizing the way you taste after a week of wondering if he’d ever get to touch you again. you reach down tugging his boxers off, he helps you push it down and then they’re gone, tossed somewhere near the foot of the bed.
“you’re sure?,” he whispers, voice low and careful, lips brushing yours.
you nod, eyes steady, “i want you.” his hands slide down to the hem of your (his) hoodie, lifting the fabric slowly. you sit up just enough to let him pull it over your head, then he tosses it somewhere to the floor. jisung’s gaze rakes over you like he can’t believe you’re real, “god,” he whispers, reverent and ridiculous, “i missed these babies.”
you let out a breathless laugh, “you’re so dumb.”
“i’m dead serious, cherry” he says, voice suddenly deeper as his hands cup your breasts fully, thumbs circling your nipples, “i’ve been thinking about them. i mourned them. they were gone too long.” you gasp softly when he rolls his thumbs again, this time slower, more precised. your back arches into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as your breath sutters. jisung groans, “jesus–you’re perfect,” he leans in, kissing across the top of your chest before taking one nipple into his mouth. the marks he left before have faded now and he was going to make sure he leaves new ones. he sucks slow and gentle at first, flicking his tongue just enough to make your hips jerk forwards. you feel his length against your panties, a sweet moan slipping past your lips. he continues to work his mouth over you – switching sides, showing each one way too much favoritism.“still okay?” he murmurs, lips brushing sensitive skin.
you nod quickly, breathless, “more than okay.” he chuckles low in his throat, dragging his tongue back over one peak, then blowing on it just to make you shiver, “i love how sensitive you are here.” you can only moan in response as he keeps going until your thighs are trembling around his waist and your fingers are digging into his shoulders. “i missed the sounds you make when i do this,” you whimper when he sucks harder, your nails digging into his back. your body rolls against him instinctively, grinding down, desperate now. needing him. he slides your panties down and kisses you again, slow and deep. then he reaches down to guide himself through your folds, slow teasing strokes that make your thighs twitch and your breath hitch. you shiver, so ready it almost hurts, your hips chasing his. but just as you brace yourself for him to finally push in, just as your body arches, lips parted, aching — he stills.
your eyes fly open and meet his. he’s not moving. not even breathing.
you blink. “what are you—” and then it hits you. you burst out laughing, body shaking with giggles, “oh my god. you’re scared.”
“i’m scarred,” he corrects, “you think i went through a full-blown midlife crisis in aisle five just to play with fire again?”
you’re breathless with laughter now, cheeks flushed, forehead resting against his. “jisung.”
he frowns, but it’s playful, “i made eye contact with a toddler in the baby aisle,” he goes on, eyes wide, traumatized, “she waved at me. i almost passed out.” you’re giggling helplessly now, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down into a kiss. “okay, okay, you have condoms right?” he immediately perks up, almost forgetting that those existed. he reaches over his nightstand drawer, grabbing one and ripping the wrapper with practiced urgency, sliding it on like an expert. once he’s covered, he settles back between your thighs, bracing himself on his forearms, forehead pressed to yours.
“okay,” he murmurs. “now i can properly blow your mind without the threat of parenthood looming over us.” you laugh into his mouth, and then you’re gasping again as he finally sinks into you. your fingers clutch at his shoulders, his back, anything you can reach, as he moves inside you with slow, deep thrusts. his eyes are locked on yours, lips parted, breathing heavy as he watches every expression flicker across your face. “fuck,” you whimper, head falling back against the pillow. “you’re too big.”
“you say that every time,” he groans, forehead resting against yours, “and every time, you take it so fucking well.” the pressure is overwhelming — too much, too deep, so good — and your body clings to him, shuddering around him with every slow roll of his hips. his arms cage you in, and with every thrust, he fills you so completely it feels like there’s no space left to breathe, to think, to do anything except feel him.
he’s watching the way your face contorts under him, “i can feel how tight you are. god, you’re squeezing me like you need me.” you do. you really, really do. every slow, deep stroke has your legs shaking, your moans growing higher and breathier as he presses in deeper, grinding against that sweet, dangerous spot that makes your vision go white. and then he’s thrusting harder, every drag of his cock hitting just right, making you sob his name like a prayer. you wrap your arms around him, clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
“fuck, you feel so good,” he growls, voice strained. “so tight, cherry. god, you’re mine. you’re mine.”
when you finally fall apart, it crashes over you hard and fast. your body trembling under him, nails clawing down his back, breath catching in your throat as you cry out his name again and again. he groans softly at the feeling, hips stuttering into you as your body clenches around him, following seconds after, burying his face in your neck, hips stuttering as he groans into your skin, cumming so hard he swore he filled up the entire rubber. he stays there for a moment — still inside you, still catching his breath — before lifting his head to kiss you. not deep, not hungry, just soft. gentle. a kiss made of everything you’ve both held onto through the worst of it. everything that was broken. everything you chose to rebuild. his thumb brushes gently along your jaw. your fingers tangle in his hair.
“i love you,” he whispers. no doubt. no hesitation.
“i love you, too,” you say it back, with your whole heart.
he gives you one last kiss before pulling out, disposing the condom and wrapping the blanket around you both. outside the window, the sky is still soft with the afternoon sun. somewhere in the kitchen downstairs, someone drops a pan. but here, there’s just you. him. and this fragile, beautiful beginning you both nearly ruined — but didn’t.
and for a girl who used to roll her eyes at the mention of love, who used to armor herself in sarcasm and pretend indifference, who used to flinch at tenderness like it was a trick, who used to scoff at fairy tales because they always ended too perfectly, too impossibly — now, it sounded like music. it sounded like a rhythm you want to move with. a song you want to memorize, note by note. a melody stitched between laughter and forgiveness and second chances. a dance you want to dance forever. love, in each others arms, felt like breathing for the first time in years, exhaling the ache you’d both had been carrying alone for far too long, discovering that maybe you weren’t too broken or too hard to love — just waiting for someone who saw you.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: loverboy links (don’t judge me for how many videos are on there. there was supposed to be more too but i hate the stupid 100 link limit)
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an: holy shit you guys 6/7 is done! while i was writing this i realized i wrote way more than i was supposed to because i don’t want it to end yet 😭 (i paid for that by having to deal with tumblrs block characters limit. so annoying. i hope the long paragraphs didn’t bother your reading too much!) anyways this couple has been the cutest for me to write but also the saddest cause every time i wrote a happy scene all i could think of is the upcoming angst 🥲 i hope you loved cherry and jisung! they’re definitely the most touchy and very very young love couple we’ve had. looking forward for your reviews!
likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
pairing: fwb! mark lee x tutor! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 29k+
synopsis -> sex helps him focus. focus he needs for your tutoring sessions. it was a win-win for mark lee when you proposed to add a stress-relief session to the schedule. the favorite fuckboy and the girl who doesn’t believe in love equals the ultimate friends with benefits set-up. it’s the perfect dream team! but uh oh…it seems like mark has been shot by cupid’s arrow. will mark survive all of your attempts at pushing him away?
warnings -> grab the tissues! (can be used for multiple reasons) pet name unlocked: kitten, so much dialogue, they’re both yappers, mentions of: periods, reader has avoidant-attachment issues, a little toxic, a lot broken, mark is so down bad it hurts me, angst, +18, crude language, fuckboys, a party, alcohol, starts off with a lot of smut! edging!!!, mark whines and whimpers and cries, oral (m+f), he loves eating pussy, nipple-play, fingering, blow-job, sex on the desk, rough sex, soft sex, unprotected sex, reader is on the pill, sensory play, overstimulation, a fake orgasm, mentions of: period sex, masturbation (m).
an -> third installment of the loverboy series is yours! i did so much research for this holy shit (shoutout to quizlet, friends with benefits, prom-pact and ariana grandes: eternal sunshine album). i don’t know anything about advanced music theory or history please i got it all off quizlet. if it’s wrong, do not come for me! important things to note -> you do not have to read stupid cupid or flying kiss to understand this story but 1) mark is the favorite fuckboy. he’s very upfront. tells you what he wants from the beginning, never leaving you doubting his actions. 2) jeno and bunny’s story is simultaneously happening 3) jaemin and his gf, angel, are happily together. have fun reading! with love, c.
“i don’t feel it,” your voice bites through the night air, cold and detached.
“i don’t love you.” you add with absolutely no remorse, just the tired truth of someone who stopped believing in happy endings a long time ago.
mark can’t help but think back to how exactly he got here — watching you walk away with the heart you shattered into a million pieces, drowning in the silence, wondering how he ever thought he could be the one to change your mind.
ᓚᘏᗢ one month ago. april 2. wednesday.
mark bursts into the study room like he was being chased, slightly out of breath and as usual, thirty minutes late to your tutoring sessions. you didn’t even bother looking up from your notes.
“you’re late. again.” you said flatly, highlighting a passage in the textbook as if his presence didn’t affect your mood at all. it did. the wasted time makes your irritation grow sharper. it was only three days of the week and he still couldn't show up on time.
“sorry, was busy,” he said, running a hand through his mess of dark hair, lipstick stain on his neck, smelling like cheap perfume and sex.
you arched your eyebrow, “that’s the third time, mark.”
he offers an apologetic smile, dropping into the chair across from you, pulling out his notebook, “i know, i know, she just…took longer to finish.”
you slammed your highlighter down, “just because i’m your friend doesn’t mean you can completely act unprofessional,” you roll your eyes, “this is my time you’re wasting too.”
he looked at you, your signature eyeliner and maroon lips making you look sharper, meaner, ready to pounce at any minute.
a mixture of guilt and fear flickers briefly across his features before he sighed and slumped forward, “y/n, i’m sorry. really. it just helps with the stress you know? clears my head so i can focus.”
“mark,” you leaned in “is your sex life really more important than your three failing classes?,” you remind him of the reason why you were here in the first place. he doesn’t respond and the silence was answer enough. you look at him, brain already calculating ways to solve this problem, until you got to one conclusion — it’s a ridiculous idea but it would be the most effective.
“fine,” you said, tapping your pen against the table, “we can have sex,” you propose.
mark whipped his head towards you like you’ve just grown two heads, “what?!”
you shrugged like it was the most normal suggestion in the world, “i can’t have you missing another session, you need to pass these classes,” you reason. “i have a 100% success rate mark, i’m not letting you ruin that because you need to get your dick wet…so show up earlier, we add a stress relief session then start tutoring right away,” you explain like you’ve been thinking about this the whole week.
mark chuckles, an eyebrow raised. sounds like a pretty great plan to him — too great…actually.
“what’s the catch?,” he asks, eyeing you suspiciously, elbow on the table as he leaned towards you.
“no catch, i just have one rule” you smirk, pointing a finger up. he nods, urging you to go on.
“you can’t sleep with anyone else,” you say simply.
this makes him laugh.
“i don’t go exclusive, y/n.”
“please,” you scoff, “i don’t want to date you mark,” you say clearly, “i just don’t want to catch a disease.”
you were very aware of mark’s title — everyone’s favorite fuckboy, leader of the dream fraternity, co-captain of the university’s basketball team and can play guitar. everyone wants a piece of him. and almost everyone has gotten a piece of him.
“i’m clean!,” he argued, looking offended.
“yeah? for how long?,” you shot back, a teasing smirk on your face.
he exhaled, raking a hand through his hair, “fine…then i get to add a rule too.”
“that’s fair, what’s your rule?,” you ask.
“you can’t fall in love with me.” a smirk on his lips.
this makes you laugh.
“well, isn’t your lucky day, mark lee,” you say with a sly smile, “i don’t believe in love.”
he studied you for a moment, confusion flickering behind his eyes, a subtle memory from freshman year playing in his mind until the smile on his face faded into something quieter, “i’m serious, y/n,” he says with conviction.
you raise a brow, “and i’m serious too mark…the day i fall in love is the day money starts raining from the sky.”
he watches you then lets out a short laugh, “okay, just wanted to be clear,” he nods, a grin creeping in, “so…friends with benefits then?”
“exactly,” you hold your hand, “deal?”
mark laughs before accepting it, sealing the deal with a firm handshake, “deal.”
without warning, you yank him towards you, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that steals his breath — it’s quick, sharp, deliberate. before he can respond, before he can even think about deepening it, you’ve already pulled away, a smirk on your lips as you start packing your things in your bag.
“this room’s only reserved for an hour and you just wasted it,” you say over your shoulder.
“my apartment. friday. 6PM. if you’re late we’re going straight to studying.” you warn him before leaving him there feeling like he just won the lottery.
it was the perfect situation for him — he’ll pass his classes and get to have sex without having to do all the extra work of chatting up a girl and trying to impress them just to get in their pants. it hasn’t even started yet and he already felt like a winner.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 4. friday.
mark knocks on your door at exactly 6:00 pm on friday evening. his backpack hung on his shoulder.
“huh…so you can arrive on time,” you tease, leaning on your apartment’s door.
“what can i say? i’m stressed and i need to be relieved,” he shrugs, a childish grin on his lips.
“alright, come on,” you grab his arm, dragging him past your living room and straight to your room.
“so…how do we do this?,” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck as he steps inside, standing in your room awkwardly, backpack still on his shoulder. he looks around, noticing your bare walls and how everything seemed to be neat and organized.
“what? sex? aren’t you supposed to be the expert?,” you quip, raising an eyebrow in amusement, snapping his attention back to you.
he rolls his eyes, “well usually, i flirt with the girl first before i get in their pants,” he reasons.
“nu-uh, we don’t have time for that,” you cut in, pulling your shirt over your head, leaving you in your red lacy bra and the tiny black pajama shorts that hung low on your waist.
mark’s eyes widen slightly, glint with amusement, unabashedly checking you out, “dang dude, you’re fucking sexy.”
“is that how you talk to every girl you’re about to have sex with?,” you chuckle.
“that’s how i talk to my friends,” he smirks, earning a snort from you.
“are you gonna take off your clothes or are you just gonna keep gawking?,” you tease, lips curled into a smirk. mark rolls his eyes, finally setting his backpack down by the edge of your bed and removing both his t-shirt and sweats with ease, leaving him in his black boxers, still standing across from you — it was your turn to check him out. he’s lean, more toned than you expected, abs on display, the outline of his cock prominent through his boxers.
“nice,” you mutter, making him raise a brow in amusement. in one smooth motion, you slide down your shorts and unhook your bra, tossing it to the side somewhere as you stood proud and tall, in your red matching panties, not shying away from his gaze.
your confidence (tits) draws him in, stepping forward, closing the distance. both his hands come up immediately, cupping your breasts, thumbs grazing smoothly over your nipples with open fascination. you hitch your breath, the sensation of his fingertips making your pussy clench around nothing.
mark almost can’t believe what’s happening right now, “this is silly,” he breathes out, a light chuckle slipping past his lips, his hands still massaging your boobs.
“my boobs?,” you ask flatly, a little offended.
“no, your boobs are great, dude,” he says quickly, “i meant this situation is silly, i’ve never had sex with a friend before,” he says, still rolling your nipples in between his fingertips.
“you can always back out, we can skip this and go straight to tutoring,” you say, giving him a chance to change his mind.
he lets out a dry chuckle, eyes flicking down between you, “y/n, you’re kidding right? my dick is hard as shit and i’m playing with your boobs…we’re not going straight to fucking tutoring.”
you grin, biting back a laugh, “i’m very aware that you’re playing with my boobs and if you don’t plan on fucking the shit out of me in the next minute, i’m putting my clothes back on,” you warn him.
he doesn’t wait for a second warning. his boxers hit the floor and you follow suit, slipping your underwear to the ground. grabbing a condom out of his wallet, he rolls it on smoothly. then, with no hesitation, he makes his way back to you, lifting you off the ground. mark was a lot stronger than you thought he was, picking you up like you were as light as a feather. your back hits your mattress with a bounce as he hovers over you, eyes dark with intent, that devilish, childish grin sitting on his lips.
then his mouth crashes onto yours in an instant, messy and hungry. the kind of kiss that’s all teeth and heat and no hesitation. you tug on his hair, eliciting a groan from him, urging him closer as your tongue meets, battling for dominance. his hands are everywhere, gripping your thighs, hips, waist like he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of your skin.
“hurry up mark, you’re on the clock,” you pant, fire curling low in your belly.
“you said fuck the shit out of you right?,” he growls against your throat, voice low, barely restrained.
“if you can,” you tease, challenging him to pick up the pace.
he was tired of the mocking. mark aligns himself against your entrance and with no warning, no gentleness, he slams into you with a force that knocks the breath from your lungs — the stretch was delicious, filled with pain from the lack of foreplay, groans bouncing off of each other’s mouths, “fuuck y/n, you feel insane” he grunts as he thrusts with a rhythm that makes the bed squeak.
you wrapped your legs around him, forcing him in even deeper, harder, pussy sucking him perfectly as you calculatingly start clenching impossibly tight for him, “h-holy shit,” he groans, sweat dripping from his temple, “-quit doing that,” mark warns but doesn’t relent his unforgiving pace, chasing the edge like he’s starving for it.
all the while, you just wanted him to get there – the faster he finishes, the faster you can start tutoring. your hands wander throughout his body, leaving goosebumps all throughout his skin until they land on his nipples, you rub him until he was whining and groaning against your mouth, “fuck-mm close,” he manages to say in between his heavy pants, “me too,” you lie.
the pleasure in your stomach was building but you weren’t at all close to the finish line.
“yeah?,” he hisses, thrusts getting messier and messier as he fights back the urge to cum, waiting for you. his lips latch on to your neck, licking and kissing.
you decide to end his torment, “i’m cumming,” you announce, exaggeratedly, forcing yourself to clench around him as much as you can, watching him topple over. he grunts beside your ear, his release finally taking over as he spills into the condom.
“oooh, yeahh,” you moan, faking your orgasm as you push him off of you and into the bed beside you.
mark barely has a moment to catch his breath, chest still heaving from his orgasm, when he turns sharply toward you, narrowing his eyes, “wait…did you just fake it?,” he asks, feeling betrayed.
“uhh, no,” you mutter out, focusing on the ceiling, pretending to catch your breath.
mark shuffles beside you, clearly unconvinced, “that’s not how girls cum, y/n”
“that’s how i cum!,” you argue and mark shakes his head. he wasn’t stupid. he’s been with enough ladies to know that that was a fake orgasm.
he shakes his head, frowning, “no way, i feel like i just used you,” he says, the words leave a sour taste in his mouth — mark never leaves a lady unsatisfied, which is the reason why he kept on showing up late to the past three tutoring sessions. it doesn’t matter how long it takes, he’s not leaving the bed until they are done…until you are done. it’s a point of pride. call it ego or decency but either way, he doesn’t half-ass pleasure. how else do you think he got the title of the favorite?
“it’s fine mark, we need to start our session,” you say, sitting up. but before you could get further, mark tugs you back into the pillows.
your eyes widen in slight shock, “what are you doing?”
“pretty sure friends with benefits means were both benefiting,” he smirks, “i’m not moving on until you cum,” eyes glittering with playful determination, earning an eye roll from you.
“we don’t have time for this,” you scoff, trying to push him away. but he was a lot stronger than you, grabbing your hands and pinning you down the mattress.
“give me ten minutes,” he says, voice low. you look at him amused, “you think you can make me cum in ten minutes?,” you mock, an eyebrow going up.
“just shut up and reap the benefit,” he bites back as he starts trailing kisses down your neck, leaving no room for arguments.
“no hickeys, mark,” you warn him. he ignores you but doesn’t leave a mark anyways, lips trailing lower and lower, stopping for a moment to suck on your nipples, your back arching towards him. he takes a mental note of the way your body immediately responds every time he gets near your breasts.
that familiar pleasure starts to pool in your core again, unmistakable and creeping in fast. and when your hands go lax in his grip, he knew he won this time. he looks up at you with an amused glint in his eyes, hands slowly letting go of your wrists as he let them roam all over your body, mouth still worshipping your breasts, watching your every reaction, taking note of your satisfied little hums, the softs gasps and the way your lips part unconsciously.
he travels lower and lower, tongue leaving a warm, wet path behind. then, he pauses “hmm, what’s this?,” his fingers ghost over the tiny artwork placed on the right side of your hip, just above your underwear line.
“a cat.”
“cute,” he says with a grin, kissing over your tattoo, “why a cat?”
“i don’t know, i was drunk,” you were growing impatient, the frustration was getting to you. you’re pretty sure he’s already used up half of his ten minutes. now’s not the time for small talk.
“hurry up, mark,” you say, taking matters into your own hands and pushing his head lower – exactly where you needed him.
mark chuckles, the warmth of his breath making your thighs twitch, “feisty,” he teases, “the cat is fitting.” you’re ready to fire back with a smart remark but the words get caught in your throat when he slowly licks a strip between your folds.
“mmm, you taste so fucking sweet,” he praises, kitten-licking in between your folds before finally dragging his tongue up to your clit, swirling around the sensitive bud. a moan slips from your lips, all thoughts of tutoring and snarky comebacks dissolve, letting yourself enjoy the feeling of his tongue lapping against you.
you haven’t been eaten out in so long, your last and only boyfriend absolutely hated going down on you and the other one night stands you had never seemed like they knew what they were doing – always leaving you to finish what they started.
mark settles comfortably between your thighs, his eyes fluttering shut in pure bliss as he continues sucking, licking, spitting, completely consumed with the kind of hunger that makes it feel like he’s the one being pleasured. your hips instinctively move, grinding against his face as you tried to reach the high that was slowly but surely building inside you, “fuckk mark, f-feels so good,” you whine against his touch.
you feel him smirk against your clit before he slides two fingers in, following the curve of your pussy, learning the way your body molds. his mouth doesn’t stop, still locked onto your sensitive bud, sucking with relentless precision. and as soon as he found that spot, you can't help but shut your eyes in pleasure.
“oh goddd, mark,” you cry out, your body arching off the bed, head flat against your sheets as your fingers made it’s way to his hair, lightly tugging, making sure he stays exactly where he is. he lifts your legs over his shoulders, adjusting his angle, pushing his fingers in deeper as his mouth continues its worship. he eats you out like a man starved, the noises of your juices squelching filling up the room and it felt so, so good.
you can feel the heat rising through your body. mixtures of ragged pants and high-pitched moans tumbling out of your lips helplessly as the tension coils tighter and tighter inside you. then his free hand slides up to your torso, pinching your nipple just enough to tip you over the edge, completely at his mercy, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, im cumming, im cumming,” you gasp, repeating it like a prayer, fingers digging into the sheets until you’re knuckles were white, trying to ground yourself on something. your orgasm completely washes over you, body trembling as you were left gasping for air, jaw slacked, eyes rolled back, toes curled.
mark doesn’t let up, drawing out every aftershock until you’re twitching, overstimulated. you push his head away and only then does he pull back – grinning, breathless, face decorated with your slick.
“now that’s how girl’s cum,” he says proudly, licking his fingers clean, looking smug as hell.
you roll your eyes, trying to snap out of the haze, “you said ten minutes, that was definitely longer.”
“whatever kitten, we still have twenty minutes left of the tutoring session,” he smirks.
“kitten?,” you repeat, confused.
“it’s fitting right?,” he shrugs. you shake your head, reaching for your clothes with a playful scoff, ignoring the way your legs still feel like jelly. twenty minutes was not enough time but you grabbed the flashcards you had meticulously prepared earlier anyway.
“fine…time for music theory,” you say as mark groans dramatically beside you.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 6. sunday.
mark: wyd? come to the dream fraternity party
kitten: can’t. busy.
mark: but i need to relieve stress…
kitten: mark, it’s only been two days.
mark: yeah two days too long 😩
kitten: we’re literally seeing each other tomorrow
mark: why are you blue balling me? 🤕💔
kitten: im not. you can still use your hand! 🤗
mark: it doesn’t feel as good ☹️ not warm enough ☹️
kitten: go heat up a sock and figure it out 🫶
mark: are you sure that rule of yours is final? a really hot girl just walked in and my dick is pointing towards her direction 👀🍆🥵
kitten: go ahead 🙂↕️
mark: bro, really???
kitten: yep! but don’t expect to get your dick anywhere near me tomorrow 🙂↕️🙂↕️
mark: nvm 😑
kitten: see you tomorrow 😇
mark begrudgingly walks up the stairs, ignoring all the girls who were glancing his way. he can’t risk it, the deal had just started and it was too fun to spoil — settling into his sheets, he pumped himself up and down until he was spilling into his hand.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 7. monday.
when mark walked into your apartment, he was ready to pounce, eyes already scanning you like you were his favorite dessert. but he stopped short, confusion flickering across his face – you were wearing layers upon layers, “uhmm, you do know it’s spring right?,” he says.
“i know,” you say, a playful smile on your lips as you lead him towards your bedroom.
“so what’s with all the extra layers?,” he trails behind you, suspicious.
“we’re gonna play a game,” you say simply.
“noo, y/n, the deal was i get here, we have mind blowing sex, then we study,” he groans.
“yeah, well that didn’t work out last time,” you point out, remembering the fact that it took the two of you almost the entire session just to finish, “so i decided, we’re gonna mix the two together,” you finish, a sly smile on your lips.
“what’s the game?,” he narrows his eyes, though he can’t deny the excitement bubbling in him.
“for every question you get right, i take off a piece of clothing,” you say, explaining the rules, “and for every question you get wrong, you remove one of yours.”
he perks up immediately, spark dancing in his eyes. mark loves a good game. loves it even more when he wins — he sits at the edge of your bed, already looking far too cocky for someone who’s about to get mentally grilled. you sat on your computer chair across from him, flashcards in hand and fully clothed.
“alright, i’ll start off easy,” you begin, flipping through the flashcards you barely used during the last session, “what’s a major key with 6 flats?”
he laughs, “please, a G flat.”
“correct,” you nod, peeling off the scarf around your neck and dropping it to the floor. mark smirks. if all of your questions were this easy, you were going to be naked in no time.
“next, what do you do to write an aeolian scale?.”
“you use the natural minor of the note given,” he says with ease, relaxed and confident.
“lucky guess,” you mutter, slowly removing your cardigan.
“i’m not that clueless,” he explains, finding it all amusing. his eyes dropping to the now visible thin tank top you were sporting.
“then why are you failing three of your classes?,” you shot back.
“because the assignments are dumb and i don’t have time to do them, i already know how to apply them in real life,” he shrugs, “why do i need to know all these terms?”
you study him for a second, “mark, you can’t expect to skip steps and magically pass all of your classes,” you say.
“yeah, i’m learning that the hard way,” he pauses, his shoulders tense, the stress catching up to him once again, “now ask the next one so i can suck on your tits,” he smirks.
you roll your eyes, asking the next question anyway, “in scale degrees, major scales, what are the augmented triads?”
“trick question,” he smirks, “there are none.”
“correct,” you smile at him, removing one sock.
“you’re taking off one sock?? that barely counts!,” he groans like a spoiled child.
you shrug innocently, “still clothing.”
he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “okay fine, give me the next one.”
you raise your eyebrow, “what’s a hemiola?”
mark frowns, racking his brain for an answer, “uhhh…”
you grin, tapping your foot.
“something about a repeating melodic phrase representing a theme?,” he asks, head turned like a curious puppy.
“wrong. thats a leitmotif,” you correct him, “shirt’s off, mark lee.” he groans but obeys, tugging it over his head. you do your best not to stare too hard at his abs but he catches you.
“define consonance and give an example,” you grin wickedly.
“seriously?” he asks. “this is cruel.”
“take off your pants if you can’t answer,” you tease him. he mutters under his breath about how unfair this was before his pants come sliding off, leaving him in his boxers.
“what is a long note divided into shorter, usually melodic, values?,” you continue, holding up the next card.
“oh! i know that one, it’s a diminution,” he says proudly. you remove your other sock.
he narrows his eyes, “you’re cheating.”
“nope. you’re just losing,” you tease.
you flash the next card, “alright, what is existing or occurring within the world of a narrative rather than as something external to that world?”
“...i hate you,” he mutters as he gives up on pretending to answer, accepting defeat and sliding off his boxers. his semi hard cock on display.
you laugh, fully dressed except for the missing cardigan and socks, “awee, look at you…all naked and we’re barely halfway.”
mark glares, though there’s a grin tugging at the corner of his lips, “this is the most academically humiliating foreplay i’ve ever experienced.”
you laugh, “where is the tenor clef sign located?,”you give him an easy one, knowing that he needs to have motivation to keep going.
“one space above the alto clef,” he says. you hum, pleased, stripping off your leggings, showing off the white lacy underwear you wore just for him. his eyes drop instantly to the undeniable wet spot of your arousal and you part your legs slightly, inviting him, teasing.
“you sick little, kitten,” he swallows, “this is actually turning you on?,” he asks, mildly confused and little turned on.
“what can i say? i love humiliating men,” you smirk, earning an eye roll from him, “what’s a cluster?”
“a chord consisting of at least three adjacent notes of a scale,” he answers, voice low, tense. more determined now to get the answers correct.
“good boy” you purr, lifting the tank top over your head, that little praise makes his mind go absolutely crazy, his cock twitching. your sheer white bra does nothing to hide your hardened nipples and mark fights back the urge to pull you into his lap and fuck you senseless, his boner getting harder within each passing second, restraint visibly cracking.
“define neoclassicism,” you ask, voice steady, brows raised.
mark blinks, then answers slowly, “uhh a general revival or interest in classical cultures and usage of themes and styles from ancient greece and rome?”
you look up at him, impressed, “can’t believe all it takes is wanting to see my tits to get you this focused,” you grin, unclasping your bra and tossing it right into his lap. he catches it midair, eyes instantly zeroing in on your now bare-chest. you roll your chair closer to him, spreading your legs and placing them on either side of him, effectively caging him in. mark’s breath hitches – it was getting real hot in here and he was fully naked.
he reaches for your breast but you slap his hand away, “touch me and the session ends. we’re done.” you warn — having control turns you on more than you care to admit. the way his eyes darken but obeys anyway. the tension practically pulsing between your bodies. he looked so small in between your legs and it makes you want to break him even more.
“hurry up and give me the next one,” he mutters, jaw tight, trying his hardest to keep his hands to himself. it was torture. having a sexy half-naked girl right in front of him and not being able to do anything about it. your breasts were on full display, sitting prettily on your chest, your panties were practically dripping and he wanted nothing more but to taste you. wanted nothing more than to hear you moaning under him once again — you were a cruel vision of pleasure he’s not allowed to touch.
“a phrygian is which degree for the key?”
“uhh fifth?,” he guesses.
“wrong,” you say, lips curling in amusement. he groans, cock twitching.
“a mixolydian is which degree for the key?”
“third!,” he tries this time.
“wrong again,” you say, nearly laughing now. his patience was starting to blur. he’s one wrong answer away from losing his mind and you’re relishing every second of it – enjoying every grunt that passes his lips. his cock twitching so close to your core, making you clench.
“you got them mixed up,” you correct him before asking the next question, “a lydian is which degree for the key?”
he groans. he was barely holding on. he shuts his eyes, pausing, taking a minute to think about it, “...fourth?”
you lean in, voice silk and smoke, “are you asking me or are you telling me, mark lee?”
“i-i’m telling you,” he says, voice shaking with the amount of restraint he was trying to hold on to. you were so close now, heat practically radiating off of you. you smirk up at him, tossing the flashcards to the side and smashing your lips on his. he responds immediately. lips chasing yours, urgently and needy.
“correct,” you whisper in between the kiss. his hands immediately latch under your thighs as he pulls you into his lap. you feel the hot, hard press of his cock against your soaked underwear.
“take these damn panties off,” you murmur against his ear. he grunts as his fingers slide beneath the lace, pulling down the last barrier between you.
“fuuckk, you’re dripping for me,” he praises, dragging his fingers through your slick, rubbing up and down your folds before sliding two deep inside of you, making you moan against his lips. this time, his fingers immediately find that spot that makes your toes curl.
“r-right there, mark…d-don’t stop,” you whine, the tension between you rising as your hips start riding his digits, matching the rhythm of his fingers curling inside you. each thrust sends sparks through your belly, pressure building fast. his thumb finds your clit, rubbing fast but precise circles that have your head falling back, the grip on his shoulders tightening as you continue to bounce on his fingers. his lips close around your nipples, tongue flicking, sucking furiously, drawing out the high you can’t hold back — your orgasm came crashing down embarrasingly fast, leaving you breathless.
“can’t believe humiliating me got you this fucking soaked,” he smirks, breath hot against your skin, “you’re such a dirty girl, kitten,” he teases, licking his fingers clean. before you can recover, he flips you over with practiced ease, ass up and back arched just the way he likes it. you hear the familiar crinkle of foil as he tears open the condom wrapper, then feel the thick heat of him pressing against your entrance before he slides in, deep, the stretch making your teeth clench — the wait was worth it. you were so wet for him…so warm he almost busted as soon as he entered.
“you’re cumming on my cock this time,” he growls, determined, as he adjusts his member, searching for the angle that makes you scream. as soon as he found it, his fingers dig into your hips, thrusting into you from behind, sharp and relentless, your face pressing down on the sheets as the slap of skin echoes throughout the room.
this new angle hits you perfectly, “f-feels so good,” you manage to gasp, voice shaking with every snap of his hips as your hands continue to grip the sheets for stability, moans growing louder with each movement.
he growls in response as he leans over your back, lips brushing your ear, “this what you wanted, kitten?, to tease me until i snapped?” you can barely form words, nodding helplessly, body jolting forward with the force of each thrust. his hand snakes around to press against your lower belly, holding you still as he drives deeper, harder, making sure that you can’t fake anything this time.
“cum,” he demands, his breath hot against your neck as he starts sucking on your shoulder, “cum all over my cock.”
“fuck mark–i’m so close!,” you cry out, voice cracking under the pleasure, building fast and unforgiving. your knees feel weak beneath you but his grip keeps you grounded, keeps you exactly where he wants you. sweat sticks to both of your bodies now, the heat almost unbearable. then, without warning, he pulls you up, your spine arching as he pressed you against his chest. one arm wraps around you tightly, holding you in place while the other dips between your thighs, fingers finding your swollen clit, circling in perfect sync with the relentless thrust of his hips.
“c’mon, kitten” he breathes against your neck, voice low and rough, “give me another one,” he grunts. you cry out, whimpering, overwhelmed — your release finally taking over as breathless whines of his name slip from your lips.
you came all over his cock, body jerking in his arms, head falling back against his shoulder. mark holds you through it, grinding deep inside, chasing his own release with a sharp muffled groan against your skin. for a moment the room is nothing but the sound of heavy breathing and the faint creak of the mattress, savoring your shared orgasms until he finally pulls out, flopping backwards onto the bed with a satisfied sigh, arm draped over his eyes. you let yourself melt into the pillows, limbs heavy and boneless, chest still rising and falling in the aftermath. he lies beside you, chest glistening with sweat, rising with each breath.
“well,” mark pants, breaking the silence, “if we keep studying like this, i’m definitely passing all of my classes with an A+”
you laugh breathlessly, turning your head to the sound of his voice, “A+ huh? that’s bold of you.”
“please,” he says, cracking one eye open to look at you, “you saw me, I was focused, determined…inspirational,” he exaggerates, a playful smile on his lips.
“you got half of the questions wrong,” you point out, “we’re far away from an A+,” you tease.
he smirks, “fine by me, that just means more tutoring sessions,” he throws you a wink and you roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
you kick him out of your apartment as soon you both calm down, mark leaving completely satisfied. this is, by far, the greatest deal he has ever had to make.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 9. wednesday.
you sat cross-legged on the bed, flashcards in hand, watching mark settle into your desk chair with boyish excitement written all over his face. he leaned back, arms draped lazily over the armrests. you weren’t wearing a ridiculous amount of layers today, which meant he was going to be able to fuck you faster than last time.
“so,” you begin, flipping through the stack, “today’s game is a little different.”
his brows lift in curiosity, an eager smile playing at his lips. of course it was. he should’ve known you always came with surprises. always keeping him on his toes.
“for every question you get right,” you say, pausing just for dramatic effect, “i suck your dick.”
mark’s eyes widen a little too fast, the thought of your mouth around his cock so appealing. this was going to be too easy, “you’re joking?,” he breaks into a smug grin.
“i’m not,” you smirk, making your way over to him and sinking to your knees in front of him. you look up, expression all wide eyes and faux innocence. he knows better by now. “but don’t get cocky,” you warn, smirking as you settle between his legs, “i’m not moving if the answer is wrong.”
that wipes the grin off his face, just a little, “i’m not getting any of them wrong.” he came prepared this time, actually paying attention in class and reviewing his notes in order to be able to be rewarded by you.
you chuckle as you tug his sweats down, revealing his already semi hard cock, “no underwear?,” you asked, an amused smile on your face.
“why bother?,” he shrugs, a chuckle leaving his lips. with no warning, your fingers wrap around his member, stroking slowly, giving him a preview of what’s to come — mark immediately groans at your touch, head tipping back slightly at the sensation of your warm hands, cock already twitching in your hand. you looked so tiny around him and he’s already struggling to keep his composure. then your tongue glides along the side of his shaft, slow and deliberate, before swirling around the tip, collecting his leaking precum. the taste lingers on your tongue as you look up at him through your eyelashes. he was too relaxed, too comfortable, eyes focused on you with a smug on his lips. without breaking eye contact, you take the tip of his now fully hard cock into your mouth, sucking gently. it earns a low grunt from deep in his chest, his thighs tensing beneath your hands, but just when he leans into the sensation, you pull away completely, lips slipping off him with a soft pop.
frustration flashes across his face as you casually reach over and grab the stack of flashcards beside you and he’s reminded that this was the game. perhaps, this is not as easy as he thought it was going to be. he sighs in defeat and all you do is wave the flashcard lazily in your hand, eyes glinting with mischief. mark sits up straighter, his dick incredibly hard and throbbing in front of you, twitching with every passing second.
“alright,” you begin, voice sweet, innocent and absolutely lethal, “what is existing within the world of a narrative rather than as something external to that world?,” you repeat the question he got wrong last time.
mark squints, trying to focus, despite the way your fingers are slowly tracing circles on his inner thigh, not quite touching him. “diegetic or source music,” he answers. you raise an eyebrow, impressed, a hum of approval slipping past your lips.
“correct.” before he can smirk, you lean forward again, lips wrapping around him once more, this time a little deeper. his head falls back instantly, a low grown escaping. you suck him in slow and warm, letting the reward sink in and just as he starts to melt, you pull away again with a soft gasp of air, reaching for the next card like nothing happened.
he looks down at you, flustered, chest rising faster, “kitten, you’re insane.”
you flash him a dangerous smile, “define mickey-mousing.”
he doesn’t answer right away, jaw tight, trying to stay focused while his cock stands there, glistening and so so hard. “a film technique that syncs the accompanying music with the actions on screen,” he says, breathing hard.
“look at you, actually paying attention,” you tease before leaning in again, placing a kiss to his tip, taking him once again, just a little deeper, a little wetter. his whole body shudders and he mutters something that sounds like a prayer. you were only three flashcards in. he doesn’t know how much of this edging he could take. he hopes, god, he hopes he knew all the answers. when you let go again, you smile sweetly, tapping the next card against his thigh, making him clench slightly.
“what are the notes of a D major triad?” — “D, F, A,” he manages to say.
“hmm, wrong, those are the notes of D minor triad,” you correct him, leaving his cock neglected as you sit back on your heels, folding your hands in your lap. “no mouth for wrong answers,” you tease as he groans, head falling back dramatically.
“you’re actually evil, kitten.”
you only smile, reaching for another card. he glares at you like a man on the verge of a breakdown, “hurry up, i'm going to die.”
you ignore him, “list all major intervals,” you ask, resting your elbow on his knee like this is the most casual game of flashcards in the world. like his dick wasn’t right in front of your tits — the image has his cock twitching extra hard. he had to get this one correct. he racks his brain for the answers, recalling what he learned in class.
“it’s major second, major third, major sixth and major seventh,” he answers shakily.
your hand curls around the base of his cock again, making him suck in a sharp breath “correct,” you take him in all over again. he exhales hard, threading his fingers into your hair, grounding himself. you’re slower this time, deliberate and precise, letting the praise build in your mouth just like the tension between you. he did give you four correct answers. when his hand tighten a little too hard, you pull off again.
“fucckk, i hate this,” he whines shakily.
“scale the degrees in order,” you smirk.
“tonic, supertonic, mediant, subdominant, dominant, submediant, leading tone,” he answers quickly, determined, voice breathless with need.
“wow…all correct,” you say, a light shock in your tone and a proud smile tugging at your lips. he doesn’t even get a second to bask in it before your mouth is on him again, wet, warm, perfect. he moans, hips twitching up slightly and you let him, just for a second. the reward is intoxicating. and you have half the mind to continue sucking him until he was writhing under your touch. but you pull away once more, wiping your lips with a devilish smile.
“alright, next one,” you say cheerily, like this is all just a friendly trivia night.
mark looks like he might cry.
“why are you doing this to me?,” he gasps.
“don’t act like you don’t like it,” you say, “besides it’s working, you’ve only missed one question so far,” you say proudly.
“yeah, because i’ll literally die if i miss another,” he whines — this went on for a good thirty minutes more. mark only getting a couple wrong, until you were down to your last flashcards and he was teetering at the edge. ready to bust every single time you put your mouth on him but not quite getting there.
his cock is so red, throbbing, leaking to the point it hurts. a couple drops messily on his thigh, a couple on his stomach but never enough to reach his full release. there were tears streaking down his cheeks, his lips quivering. he was absolutely gutted. absolutely vulnerable.
“what’s the natural minor scale pattern?” — “minor diminished major minor minor major major,” he answers, getting the words out as quickly as possible.
this time, instead of wrapping your mouth around him, you reached for the condom you had ready, sitting pretty on your desk, anticipating this moment. his breath hitches as you tear the wrapper open with your teeth, wrapping it on his hard cock, mark practically growling under your touch. you smile sweetly, removing your shorts and crawling into his lap, knees pressing into either side of his hips. the heat of your soaked underwear brushing against his cock makes him hiss through his teeth.
he can’t take it anymore.
“what are the chromatic intervals?” — “minor, diminished and augmented intervals,” he whispers, barely hanging on.
“good boy,” you praise him as he breathes heavily under you. pushing your panties to the side, you lined him against your entrance. his breath catches, fingers finding your hips as you start to sink down onto him, inch by inch, teasing slowness, warm and tight until he’s fully buried inside you. his cock stretched you just right. a strangled moan escapes both of your lips.
“holy shit,” a low, wrecked sound escapes his throat, as he grips your hips tightly, trying his best not to unload right there, “thank you,” he trembles, breathing shakily.
he was obviously not going to last long. and it was so extremely hot. you discard the flashcards as you rolled your hips once, slow and deep, each movement designed to drive him out of his mind. mark’s hands are everywhere now, on your back, thighs, gripping your ass as he helps guide your motion, pushing up into you with desperate need. everytime you drop your hips, he lets out another choked curse, eyes glued to the way your body moves against his. you feel his cock twitch inside you, a telltale sign that he was incredibly close to coming undone.
“you gonna cum for me?,” you whisper against his ear, teeth gently grazing the lobe. he nods frantically, tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. he’s never felt this kind of pleasure before, the kind that makes him lose absolutely all sense of logic, just nodding like he was some sort of yes-man.
“-fuucck kitten, yes, d-don’t stop, p-pleasee,” his whines encourage you, dragging your hips in a deep circle that has you both gasping. it doesn’t take long. the tension you’ve built the entire session finally snaps as he groans your name, hands clutching you, hips buckling up hard, coming with a gasp buried into your neck.
you don’t stop bouncing. continuing to fuck yourself into his cock, rubbing your own clit.
“k-kitten, it hurts,” he whines. you block all of his pleas of stops, all of his whimpers, the way he’s fully crying out, fingers gripping his own hair, until your thighs are shaking, orgasm taking over, a loud moan slipping from your lips as you cling to him, both of you gasping, bodies slick and trembling.
you absolutely wrecked him — mark’s vision blacks out for a minute too long. his arms loosely wrapped around you as he tried to catch his breath. hair sticking to his skin. that was the best fucking orgasm he’s ever had and he’s had a lot.
and just like the past two tutoring sessions, mark was out the door as soon as he got dressed and it doesn’t get any better than this.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 11. friday.
mark enters the university’s basketball court, searching for your frame. you’d texted him to meet you here, a lot earlier than the usual tutoring session. the court was empty, echoing slightly and he spots you instantly, sitting on the bleachers with a book in your hand — he wonders what today’s game is, a little worried about the public location you chose.
“hey dude,” he redirects your attention to him, “are we about to indulge in exhibitionism?,” he teases, an eyebrow going up.
you laugh, closing your book. “no mark, we can’t have sex today,” offering him a sheepish smile.
he looks at you like you just delivered the worst news he could ever hear, “is everything okay?,” he asks, taking a seat next to you.
you nod, “everything’s fine, i’m just on my period,” you say casually, turning toward him.
his eyes widen slightly in acknowledgment before a grin breaks out of his face, “you know…,” he leans in, whispering, like you weren’t the only two people in this room right now, “a period only stops a sentence,” he teases.
you roll your eyes, lightly shoving his face away, “nu-uh mark lee, no way,” you say crashing all his dreams of period sex down the drain, a light smile on your lips.
“why not?, i heard somewhere, it helps with all the cramps and stuff,” he continued, still trying to convince you.
“i’m on my second day, everything’s too messy,” you say flatly, dismissing the idea with a wave of your hand. “—anyways that’s not why we’re here,” you rise from the bleachers, grabbing one of the basketballs on the side and tossing it to him.
mark catches it easily, “we’re gonna play basketball?”, he asks, a brow raising.
“yup, i read somewhere that physical activity helps with memory retention, so we’re gonna play a game while i tutor you,” you explain, standing a little below the hoop.
“you can play basketball?,” he asks, clearly amused, as he starts dribbling the ball in front of you.
“i’m no co-captain of the basketball team or anything but i’ve got a few moves,” you reply, stealing the ball from him with a cheeky grin, “and…if you win, you get to choose what we do during the next session.”
his brow raises, a smirk on his face, mind already racing of things he wanted to do to you. he could have you in his lap as he fingers you until you cry for him. he could have you bent over your desk as he fucks into you. he could spend the whole day eating you out. the possibilities were endless.
“alright,” he says, already feeling competitive, “game on.”
mark dribbles lazily as he awaits your question. you narrow your eyes, “the classical era dates are?”
mark answers quickly, “1750-1820,” like it was a piece of cake. he really is getting better at paying attention in class.
“correct. take the shot.” he does and it bounces off the rim, a curse slipping from his lips. you catch the ball with a grin.
“the romantic era dates are?,” you ask, already dribbling towards the other side. mark gets the answers correct again as you ducked under his arm, tossing the ball into the net.
“okay, showoff,” he mutters playfully, jogging to grab the ball. the game goes on for a solid fifteen minutes. the two of you jogging back and forth. you call out questions, dates, composers, and mark fires back with surprisingly accurate answers. it was a good game between friends, a good session between a tutor and her student.
mark was winning now with several points ahead of you. he hasn’t missed a single shot since the first one, while you were just getting lucky every time you made the ball in your net. he can’t help but find it adorable though – the way your face would light up every time you made a shot. the way you would do a mini celebration, a happy little dance. it was so different from your usual serious, focused, studious side. this side of you is loose, giddy, warm and he’s having way more fun than he expected to.
“alright,” you say breathless but still trying to keep up with him, “dates of the modern–”
you don’t get to finish your question. a sudden wave of pain crashes through your abdomen, so sharp it knocks the air right out of you. you double over mid-step, the ball slipping from your hands and bouncing off to the side, a yelp coming slipping from your lips.
“w-what’s wrong?!,” mark practically bolts to your side as you inhale, trying to catch your breath.
“sorry, just a really bad cramp,” you say, shutting your eyes as the pain traveled all throughout your body. he watches you for a second or two, eyes scanning your figure, registering the pain before he closes the distance, crouching in front of you. he has no idea what to do. he’s never dealt with a girl on her period before. his hands hover for a moment before resting gently at your sides, fingertips against your lower abdomen in slow circles.
you flinch, surprised at his touch, “what are you doing?”
“don’t massages help?,” he asks softly, big brown eyes filled with worry. his touch is careful, like he’s afraid of making it worse. you don’t have the heart to tell him it doesn’t really help, not with cramps this intense. still, the gesture alone tugs something warm in your chest. so for a moment you just let yourself sink into it, leaning against his chest for support like it’s the most natural thing in the world. your head rests there, tentative at first, then heavier. it’s a moment of vulnerability you haven’t shown anyone for a long time – not since your ex made you feel like needing comfort was a flaw, like softness was a burden.
mark stills when you rest against him, almost like he’s holding his breath. then, slowly, hesitantly, his arms come around you, careful and steady, not sure if any of this is okay. he doesn’t say anything, just holds you, warm and solid, his chin brushing the top of your head as you breathe through the pain. no teasing, no jokes, no snide remarks – just quiet presence.
eventually, you gently pull back, and he feels himself straighten as if waking from a trance. “i think i have to cut the tutoring session short today,” you say apologetically.
“kitten, don’t even worry about that,” he says immediately. the nickname — usually tossed around with a grin, lands softer now. you don’t think too much about it, brushing off the feeling as soon as it came.
slowly, you got up from the floor, pushing through the lingering pain, “i’m gonna go home and die now,” you say with a weak laugh. he chuckles quietly, standing with you.
“i’ll walk you home,” he offers and you turn it down immediately.
“it’s okay, mark,” you make your way back to the bleachers, gathering your things. “i’m a big girl,” you add, slinging your bag over your shoulder, “i can take care of myself,” you shoot him a smile as he follows you out the court.
“you sure?,” he asks, eyes scanning your face like he’s still not convinced.
“yeah,” you say gently, “thank you, though. i'll see you on monday,” you lean up and press a light kiss to his cheek, quick, grateful. then you turn to leave, not waiting for his response.
behind you, he stays still on the court, watching your figure walk away like he’s not quite ready to let the moment end. the kiss on the cheek lingering on his skin.
once he got back to the dream house, mark still can’t help but wonder if you were okay. he’d showered, changed, even tried zoning out to whatever song was playing through his speakers but his thoughts kept circling back to you. the image of you doubling over in pain, your face twisting as you tried to play it off, like it was nothing, kept replaying in his head like a song stuck on loop.
and he hated it – hated seeing you hurt. hated the way you pretended it wasn’t a big deal. hated the way you apologized for needing a break and absolutely hated the way you waved him off, like his concern was too much.
he told himself it was normal. this was normal. he is your friend. it’s normal to be worried about your friends. that’s allowed.
when he walked into the living room and found jaemin sprawled across the couch, glued to his phone and jeno halfway through a protein bar, he didn’t stop to think before blurting out, “what do you do when angel and bunny are on their periods?”
the question dropped like a brick. jaemin blinked, his gaze dropping from his phone to mark, “uhh why?,” he asks, a curious grin on his face.
mark shrugs, flopping down onto the couch “nothing, just curious.”
there was a beat of silence, then jaemin replied, “well, angel’s gonna murder me for saying this but she gets needy…wants me glued to her side the whole time with extra cuddles and kisses…heating pads are a must,” jaemin chuckles, “oh and sex helps too,” he says with a wink.
mark huffed a quiet laugh, “what about bunny?,” he turns to jeno.
jeno choked on his water, “uh–what? bunny and i don’t have sex,” he says flustered.
mark eyes him suspiciously, “yeah, i know. that’s not what i meant,” he says slowly, “i mean she’s your best friend and you’ve known her since forever right, you should know what she’s like on her period?,” he asks, a playful grin on his lips.
“oh..right,” jeno mutters, “uhm she’s the complete opposite, she locks herself in her room like she’s going into hibernation mode, she just texts me with a list of snacks she wants and i leave those at her door and leave,” he explains.
mark chuckled, but it faded quickly. his mind was racing with a million thoughts of how he could make you feel better. what were you like? did you want to be left alone? did you want snacks? cuddles?...is cuddling even allowed?
jaemin tilted his head, studying him. “wait…is this about your girl?”
mark blinked, “she’s not my girl.”
jeno gave him a long, skeptical look.
“she’s really not!,” mark repeated, more defensively this time, “we’re just friends and i care about my friends well being, okay? that’s all,” he convinces himself more than he does them. before they could say anything else, mark stood up, headed for the door.
⟢
when your phone buzzed, you squinted at the notification from your cocoon of blankets, blinking away the throb of cramps that hadn’t quite given up yet.
mark: hi friend
mark: i’m outside
mark: just want to make sure you’re okay lol
you hesitated, considering pretending to be asleep but something in you tugged toward the door. that soft, stubborn part that wanted not to feel alone tonight. curse these hormones. you cracked it open to find him there, hoodie half zipped, a plastic grocery bag in hand.
“hi,” he said, a little breathless, “i brought you some things.”
you opened the door wider, letting him in, “i told you i was okay.”
“i know but as your friend i had to make sure,” he practically shoves the bag in your hand as you inspect what’s inside. the bag was filled with different kinds of snacks, chocolates, candies, and three boxes of heat patches.
you took the heat patches out and raised a brow, “three?”
“listen,” he said, flopping lightly on your couch, “jaemin said they were ‘a must’ and i panicked,” he says casually and you couldn’t stop the small smile that crept up. it’s been a while since the last time you’ve let anyone do anything for you.
“thank you,” you breathe, the words soft and sincere, stripped of your usual teasing edge. the smile you give him isn’t your usual sly smirk either, it’s quieter, gentler and it makes something in mark’s chest flutter unexpectedly. he looks at you a second too long, heartbeat catching like it’s suddenly forgotten how to work properly.
minutes later, the snacks were spread out on your coffee table, a heating patch working its magic under your hoodie and to all the boy’s i've loved before playing on your t.v. mark sits beside you, a careful few inches of space between your bodies. he didn’t try to fill the silence, didn’t try to cheer you up with jokes or distractions. he was just there – steady and warm and quiet.
when the credits roll, he finally speaks, voice low, “you know,” he says, glancing over at you with a soft smile, “for someone who doesn’t believe in love, i wasn’t expecting you to put on a romcom,” he turns his body towards you as you sat end to end on the couch.
you laugh, shifting slightly under the shared blanket, the corner of your mouth tugging up into a tired smile, “please, your favorite movie is spiderman…do you believe he’s real?”
“how do you know spiderman’s my favorite movie?,” he asks, a light smirk on his face.
“sophomore year, film elective class, you were totally geeking, practically bouncing up and down next to me,” you remind him, exaggerating the detail a tiny bit.
mark huffs a laugh and nudges your knee with his, “ok but it’s different…spiderman is a fantasy character.”
“exactly,” you say, your voice softening, “so is love.”
the words aren’t bitter. just…matter-of-fact. like something long accepted and carefully folded away.
mark turns his head toward you, studying your face in the dim glow of the screen. shadows play across your features, softening the hard lines you've spent building — he thinks back to the first time you met during freshman year orientation. you were the first person he’d ever talked to, bouncing up to him in a soft blue sundress and a smile too big for the room. you introduced yourself with sparkles in your eyes, asking him if he believed in soulmates, like that was a completely normal ice breaker. you were glowing then, all wide-eyed and wonder. all heart. spilling stories about your high school boyfriend like love was the most natural thing in the world. he hadn't even told you his name yet, and there you were, already peeling yourself open for him, talks of forever from your pink lips. you were all blush-colored hope and reckless honesty. he remembered thinking you were kind of intense. too trusting. overly romantic. he hadn’t understood the way your whole world seemed to spin on the axis of love.
now, years later, that sparkle has been replaced by a colder fire, a guarded kind of strength he’s grown used to. the kind that keeps everyone at arm’s length. the kind that never let’s anyone close enough to see where it hurts. your smile — once easy and disarming, has taken a brittle edge, still beautiful, but sharpened by something heavy and unspoken. you don't talk about soulmates anymore. you don't talk about love at all, not unless you're tearing it down.
he noticed the change during the last semester of freshman year. people whispered about your breakup, but no one knew the details. just that it ended and something in you shifted. like someone had quietly reached inside and flipped a switch — it became more evident when even the way you dress has changed. your light, gentle dresses were replaced by blacks and deep reds, structured silhouettes that made you look untouchable. strong. sharp. sometimes he wonders if you’re hiding behind those clothes or they just mirror what’s left…he wonders when exactly the world taught you to stop believing in forever.
“what made you say that?,” he asks finally, voice low, careful not to press too hard but needing to understand.
you hesitate, eyes not meeting his just yet. debating whether its safe to give this piece of yourself away. and maybe it was the vulnerability of the night. maybe it was your hormones messing with your brain, like you’ll tell yourself later. but right now, you find yourself answering him.
“it’s just…” you exhale, like the words are caught in your chest, “love doesn’t last. people swear it’s forever and then suddenly, it’s not. one day you’re holding hands and dreaming together, you have a ring on your finger and the next they’re telling you that you’re too much. too needy,” you blink slowly, memories flickering behind your eyes, “that he only loved me because it was easy. and the second it got hard, he left.”
mark stiffens beside you, “you were engaged?,” he asks, surprise threading through his voice.
“shocking, right?,” you force out a dry laugh, bitter around the edges, “i almost fell for the scam.” your voice is steady, each word carefully measured, telling the story without letting it touch you. but your eyes betray you, they've gone distant, unfocused, like you’re watching a memory you wish you could turn off. there’s a smile on your lips but it’s all muscle memory. empty. the kind of smile people put on when they’re used to pretending they're fine.
mark’s jaw tightens. there’s a sharp flare of protectiveness in his chest, something hot and furious aimed at the ghost of a man he’s never met.
you continue, voice barely above a whisper, “so yeah, spider-man, love, same category…fiction.”
the silence that follows is thick, heavy, but mark doesn’t rush to fill it. he sits in it with you, lets it stretch out between the two of you without trying to clean it up. the pain in your voice isn’t loud, but it’s there – woven through your words like thread through fabric. he doesn’t throw some cliche about how the right person will come along. does not insult you with hollow optimism that people usually responded with. he doesn't try to talk you out of your truth or tape over a wound he can't even see the full shape of.
instead he nudges your knee again, gentler this time. a small touch, reassuring.
“i don’t think you’re too much,” he says quietly, the words careful and real, “not even a little.”
you look at him then. you don’t say anything for a while, neither does mark. and he’s not sure if that was something he was even allowed to say. you’ve built so many walls that even kindness feels like trespassing…then, in true fashion, you break the weight with a teasing smile, “who’s your favorite spiderman anyway?,” you ask.
the shift it so perfectly timed, so you, that it makes mark huff a laugh. he knows its your way of giving you both room to breathe again and he's grateful for the shift.
“tobey,” mark says with zero hesitation.
you groan dramatically, hands flying to your face, “no way, everyone who says they’re favorite spiderman is tobey is blinded by nostalgia! his spiderman was a creepy stalker!,” you argue passionately.
you lower your hands just in time to see mark laugh…really laugh. the kind that crinkles his eyes and pulls a genuine sound from his chest and it makes something bloom in yours.
“okay well, who’s yours then?,” he asks playfully. “andrew.”
he scoffs, “nope, his peter parker was great but his spiderman was not ‘spidermanning’ at all!,” he argues back, the made-up word slipping out so confidently it makes your brows lift.
you roll your eyes, a smile on your lips, “i didn’t say i liked him for the spiderman of it all.”
“oh?” he says, eyes gleaming with curiosity, “then what?”
you shrug, slow and teasing, “he’s the prettiest one…and,” you lean in a little closer, mark watching you, “i like looking at pretty things.”
his smile falters for a split second, eyes flicking to your lips.
“do you now?,” he murmured, voice lower now, the space between your faces shrinking by the second.
“mhm,” you mutter and then, without overthinking it, you close the space and kiss him softly, slowly, carefully, like testing the weight of something fragile, unsure if it’s meant to be held at all. his hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing tenderly over your skin. it’s not like any of the others you’ve shared before – not playful, not messy, not reckless. this one feels like stepping into something unknown.
it doesn’t last long. just a few seconds. just lingers enough to feel real.
when you finally break apart, neither of you speaks right away, just looking in each other’s eyes like you unlocked something dangerous. the stillness lingers, dense and a little too loud.
you're the one to break it, typical you, peeling the weight away with a crooked smile, “i’m still not down for period sex” you tease. he forces himself to laugh, trying to push away the tension that lingered in the air.
“fair enough,” mark says, standing slowly, “you should rest anyway and maybe lay off the tobey slander,” he says.
you laugh softly, leaning your head against the couch cushions as you watch him move around your apartment like he belongs here, “i’m right about him.”
he chuckles, grabbing his phone and keys, “text me if you need anything, seriously. even if it’s just to complain about life,” he says warmly, a small smile visible on his features.
“thanks for tonight, mark,” you say as you get up, stretching your limbs and walking him to your door.
he pauses in the doorway, like he wants to say something else, but instead he just nods, “of course, that’s what friends do.”
and then he leans in again, placing a soft kiss on your temple. his voice is quieter this time, almost tender, “goodnight, kitten.”
you freeze, just for a second, but your response comes automatically, “goodnight, mark”
and with that, he’s gone, the door closing with a soft click. you’re left in the quiet and for the first time in a long time, your apartment doesn’t feel quite so lonely. and still, despite the warmth lingering on your lips, despite the comfort of knowing someone cares, there it is, crawling up your spine and tightening in your chest — fear.
⟢
the walk back to the dream house was quiet. mark’s hoodie sleeves are pushed halfway up his arms but the cool night air doesn’t do much to ease the heat still lingering in his chest. the night loops in his head like an endless record.
the kiss. he’s never been kissed like that. like it was more than two lips touching, chasing the lust.
that kiss was cautious. it had weight. like it had been carved out of something deeper, something neither of you knew how to name. he was sure of it. it’s the way you looked at him, like you completely trusted him, even for just a second. and maybe it didn’t last. maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow and bury it under sarcasm and boundaries. but that look…that look is stuck under his skin now.
he exhales slowly, staring down at the sidewalk. his footsteps echoing in the quiet — you were vulnerable tonight. he knows that. he could feel it in the way you curled in on yourself when the cramps got bad, the cracks between your jokes, that look in your eyes when you talked about your ex. mark noticed it all. that’s the problem. because he doesn’t know what the kiss meant or if it even meant anything at all. maybe it was just comfort. a soft, fleeting thing you reached for in the moment. maybe you’ll wake up and decide it wasn’t real. if that’s the case, he’ll happily play along, laugh it off, bury it.
but his chest still feels tight. he can’t wrap his head around the fact that you said love was a fantasy. and you still kissed him that way. like he mattered. like he was more than just your friend, more than just a body in your bed.
his mind is all over the place. thoughts going back and forth. he swallows hard, jaw tightening. all this thinking wasn’t supposed to happen. you were never supposed to mean anything. for god’s sake, he was the one who said that you couldn’t fall in love with him with. he meant it, too. back then, it felt like the safest thing to say. a wall, not just for you but for him, too.
he doesn’t do love. he’s always been good at lines. at keeping things in neat boxes. clean. uncomplicated. no drama. bodies, not hearts. moments with no meaning, only pleasure. he knows how to care just enough to make it feel good and not enough for it to matter. he’s practiced, efficient, detached.
but something about tonight is cracking through that. and he’s not sure he’s ready to face it.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 14. monday.
when mark entered your apartment, he hadn’t known what to expect. he’d spent the entire weekend mentally pacing, replaying friday night over and over, dissecting every word, every glance, every breath between you. and then he’d forced himself to stop. to push any thoughts of you away, telling himself it didn’t mean anything.
but still, when you opened the door, his heart thudded in his chest like it hadn’t gotten the memo.
then you smiled, that same guarded expression, the one that never quite reached your eyes. you looked the same you had last week, composed, cool and out of his reach. he knew right then, that he was right. that moment was fleeting and completely over. erased.
“hey, earth to mark lee, you there?,” you wave your hand in front of him, snapping him out of his daydream.
“yeah, sorry, what was the question?,” he asked, blinking.
“dang dude, you weren’t lying when you said sex helps you focus,” you tease him. today was another no sex session, seeing as you were still on your period.
he chuckles, letting out a groan and burying his face in your pillows, “i can’t belive god gave you periods, this has been the longest week of my life.”
you sat cross-legged on your bed, mark sprawled out beside you, “i told you i can always give you a blowjob.”
his nose scrunches up, peeking at you from the pillow, “no. not after your last blowjob session.”
“it wasn’t that bad,” you feigned innocence.
“kitten,” he deadpanned, lifting his head to glare at you, “you edged me so hard, i cried.”
“and?” you grinned, shameless, “didn’t it make the orgasm like 10x better?”
“at what cost, though?,” he asked dramatically, pressing a hand to his heart, “i saw my soul leave my body.”
you laughed, reaching over to poke his side, “but you survived.”
“barely,” he muttered, rolling his eyes, sitting up, facing you now, “you really enjoy tormenting me, don’t you?”
“only when you make it so easy,” you said sweetly, “besides, you didn’t complain that much.”
mark let out a long exaggerated sigh, head tilted towards you, “you’re lucky i like you.”
it slipped out carelessly. there was a beat of silence. the two of you holding your breaths at the words he uttered out.
for a second, neither of you moved. mark cursed himself internally. really? now? after a weekend of telling himself it meant nothing…he says that? out of all the things he could’ve said? he really needed to get better at thinking things out before saying them.
the memory of friday night replays in your mind. the slow kiss, the quiet way you looked at each other, the parts of yourself you weren’t supposed to show. you didn’t know why you let it happen but you did. what you do know is that you crossed a line and you had to make things clear.
you shifted slightly, voice coming out softer than before, “listen, mark…about friday night,” you bring up and you feel him freeze slightly.
“i really am grateful for the snacks and having a friend there but…,” you hesitated, searching for the right words, “i was all up in my period feelings and did some stuff i usually wouldn’t...”
you glanced at him, “if that makes sense?”
“no, i get it,” he said quickly, too quickly. “don’t worry i didn’t read too much into it,” he lies.
“cool,” you said, giving him a sheepish smile, “so…we’ll just forget about it?”
he ignores the way you can’t say the word kiss. he ignores the way he can’t bring himself to say that word either. both of you dancing around the “stuff” that happened.
he looked at you for a beat, then cracked a grin, “forget about what?”
you chuckle, shoving his shoulder and reaching out for your notes, resuming the session like nothing happened. like your heart hadn’t skipped a beat. like his hadn’t just cracked a little more under the pressure of pretending.
before the silence could settle over you, you change the topic, “you know, you kinda remind me of peter parker.”
mark raises an eyebrow, amused, “oh yeah? how?”
you lean back, teasing, “you’re always acting like the weight of the world is on your shoulders but somehow manage to crack a joke when it counts.”
this surprises him a little bit. he hadn’t realized how much you could actually see through him during these past tutoring sessions. how close you’d been paying attention. he doesn’t dwell on it, afraid of what other feelings it may unlock.
“i didn’t know i was that dramatic,” he finally says, playing it off with a small laugh.
“you’re not,” you say, meeting his eyes for a brief moment, “but you carry more than you let on.”
mark looks away, lips pressing into a faint line. he wants to keep the mood light, to make another dumb spiderman joke but your words hit a little too close. and that unsettles him more than he cares to admit. he clears his throat, “well, does that make you mj or gwen?,” he flirts.
you smirk, “neither. i'm your guy in the chair.”
mark laughs, eyes crinkling, “you mean like ned?”
“exactly. reliable. sarcastic. smarter than you and absolutely not dying in anyone’s tragic love arc.”
“bold of you to assume,” he says with a grin, shaking his head. you grin back, flipping a page in your notebook. you go back to explaining the notes in front of you and he listens, nodding at the right times.
on the surface, everything settles back into easy rhythm — banter and bullet points. but under all the teasing and laughter, one thing stayed unspoken. neither of you had really forgotten. not even a little.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 16. wednesday.
to say mark was excited was a complete understatement. clearing things up with you absolutely helped, he wasn’t left wondering the maybe’s. he blamed the momentary feeling on that night and it was done. explained. buried deep in a box somewhere.
today was all about his reward and he was absolutely ecstatic. he’d been counting down to this ever since your little basketball game ended in his favor. he knew exactly what he wanted as soon as the proposition was brought up. this was his moment – his perfect payback for that blowjob that ended in tears and torment.
so when you asked him what he wanted and he replied with, “i want to cut tutoring short today and have my way with you,” you had no other option but to oblige.
which is how you ended up here now, seated between his legs, thighs parted, panties long gone. your slick glistened in the warm light of your bedroom, a blindfold wrapped securely around your head – completely open, completely at his mercy. the cloth stays firm over your eyes, heightening every sense. you feel everything. his breath on your shoulder, the heat of his thighs beneath yours, the stillness between touches. you sat there, waiting…then you felt it.
something cool and slender lightly tracing along the inside of your thigh. your breath catches, legs twitching at the unexpected contact, “what is that?”
mark hums thoughtfully, as if considering the question, “just something i found lying around.”
it moves again, gliding upward, skimming where you needed him most. he circles the object around your clit without pressure, ghosting enough to make you clench. you shift your hips, trying to chase the feeling, but he’s already pulling it away.
“mark,” you grit out, jaw tightening.
“shh,” he murmurs, nibbling on your ear, “let me enjoy my reward.” you swallow hard, heat pooling in your stomach. you were sure this torture was going to last forever and you knew he was doing this on purpose. teasing you to the edge, just like you did to him.
the thing, whatever it is, drags lightly over your folds now, collecting wetness as it goes, “so fucking wet and i haven’t even touched you yet,” he whispers beside you, making goosebumps rise throughout your neck. you’re about to snap a snarky remark when his fingers suddenly replace the object, two of them sliding through your slick folds with infuriating slowness, pressing just enough to build pressure but not nearly enough to satisfy.
“fuck,” you gasp, fingers clutching his thigh as your hips jerked. he lets you have his digits, inserting two of his fingers and curling them just where you need him the most but before you can even enjoy it, he pulls back.
you whine as he withdraws, leaving you empty and throbbing, “we’re just starting, kitten,” you hear the smirk in his voice and it’s absolutely annoying — to be vulnerable this way and have no control.
mark brings the mystery object back, the cool tip sliding up your folds again, this time more deliberately. you squirm, desperate for friction. the blindfold has turned your entire body into a nerve – every inch sensitive, every second unbearable. then you feel his hands again, large and warm, settling on your thigh, the other slipping into your shirt and gliding up your torso, fingers leaving a blaze of fire until he reaches your breast.
you inhale sharply when his fingertips ghost over one nipple, already peaked and begging for attention, “you’re always so sensitive here,” his voice cuts through the silence, your breathing becoming heavier and heavier. his thumb brushes over the bud, a whine slipping from your lips. he has you memorized by now. the little ticks that turn you on. which was a lot for mark, considering most of his past sexual partners had only been for one night.
something brushes over your nipple – cool, round, smooth. you’re not sure if its the same object and it’s driving you insane, “what the hell is that?,” you ask, your voice breathless. mark doesn’t answer this time, just littering kisses along your neck, letting the object speak for him. it circles your nipple slowly, deliberately, then he flicks it lightly, sharp enough to make you gasp and arch forward, your head resting against that space between his neck. his free arm comes up to your waist, keeping you locked against him.
“you’re not allowed to squirm yet,” he murmurs near your ear, voice thick with satisfaction. he switched to your other breast, teasing it with that same cold precision. the contrast between your flushed skin and the chill of the object is enough to make your toes curl. you needed more.
you writhe, frustrated, “mark, please,” you beg for something…anything.
“shhh kitten,” he soothes, mouth brushing the shell of your ear, “be patient.”
his mouth returned to your neck, warm and wet, while the mystery object rolled lazily across your breast. your aching cunt left throbbing and dripping. you feel the hard press of his cock through his sweats and still he makes no move to satisfy either of you. he trails lower, teeth grazing your shoulder and just when you think the cold object might return to your nipple, it doesn’t.
instead, his fingers return, sliding down your slick folds. two strokes. three. then gone again.
“mark,” you gasp, body twitching under the restraint of his arm. you can’t think of any other word but his name — so caught up in the thrill of it all.
“you keep saying my name like i’m gonna feel bad,” he says with a chuckle, “i’m just repaying you.” then he brings the cold object down again, dragging it teasingly along your inner thigh before brushing it just over your clit, making you shudder in his hold, as he smirks behind you.
“kitten, you wanna know what i’ve been using?,” he whispers, smug and quiet. you nod quickly, barely able to breathe. he brought it up in front of your face, knowing full well you couldn’t see it and said, clearly amused, “your pen.”
you groan, “there’s no way it feels that good,” you managed to say. he just laughed quietly, brushing your hair back from your face, “the power of a blindfold,” he whispers. you barely had time to process his words before he was shifting behind you, leaving you sitting on your bed alone. a mixture of confusion, excitement and slight fear at the thought of what he has planned.
mark makes his way around, standing at the foot of your bed as he watches, loving the way you had no idea what’s coming to you. his hand makes contact with your shoulder, making you jump slightly as he pushes you down to your sheets, your back making contact with your soft pillows. you sucked in a shaky breath, wonder traveling throughout your body. then he hovers over you, kissing the hollow of your throat as he carefully pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere, exposing your tits to the cool air. he lets his tongue graze, tracing a path down the center of your chest until his lips find your nipple again. you gasped as his mouth closed around it, sucking, warm and wet. the suction paired with the flick of his tongue in a rhythm that made your spine arch.
“fucking perfect,” he muttered against your skin, teeth grazing before he soothed the sting with another kiss. his hand moved to the other breast, thumb circling lazily around the peak, squeezing just enough to make your hips buck.
but he didnt move lower, “you like being edged, don’t you?,” he whispered, voice dripping with satisfaction.
you whimpered, nodding, desperate, frustrated.
“use your words, kitten,” mark demands.
“yes,” you gasped, “please, mark, just–,” your plea broke off into a cry when his mouth trailed lower, down your stomach, leaving goosebumps behind. he stopped just above your mound, breathing you in like you were the only thing in the world.
“you smell like heaven,” he praises. then his hands gripped your thighs, firm and possessive, pulling you open further – his mouth on you in a second, hot, wet and needy. his tongue dragged through your folds slowly, deliberately. one long, teasing lick. then another, circling your clit, keeping you on the edge. you moaned, loud and desperate, your hand flying to his hair instinctively. he groaned at the contact, encouraged. finally, he gave your clit the attention it had been begging for, flicking, sucking, licking until your thighs were trembling.
and just when your stomach starts to clench — he pulls back.
“no–,” you gasped, “don’t stop, please—”
but he had already moved his mouth, licking the inside of your thigh, soothing and tortuous all at once.
“not yet,” he said, voice dark and patient, “you don’t get to come until i say so.”
you could cry from how badly you needed him. he was relentless, bending your body to his rhythm, his pace. his tongue returned, more insistent now, fingers slipping inside you this time, curling just right and every time that heat started to spiral, his mouth would pull away, his rhythm would slow and the wave would slip just out of reach.
it was torture – delicious, devastasting torture.
your breath came in ragged gasps, chest rising and falling rapidly. the blindfold making it worse. every sound, every touch, every breath he took, every swipe of his tongue felt magnified. and mark was loving every second of it. the way he had all control under his fingertips.
“you keep sucking in my fingers,” he murmured, voice thick with arousal. “you wanna cum that badly, kitten?”
you nod furiously, broken whimpers slipping past your lips, your pride long gone. then you felt it again. that same, cool rounded object from earlier. your pen.
he dragged the tip of it along your folds, now slick and pulsing from his touch, watching the way your legs twitched with each pass, “bet you’ll never look at this thing the same again,” he whispered near your hip. the pen collects your dripping arousal, “such a mess,” he breathes out, tongue surprisingly latching onto your folds again, sucking your juices. you whimpered as he slides a finger inside you again, slower, deeper, making you feel every second of it.
“you feel how close you are?,” he asked, voice gravelly, dangerous. you nodded frantically, choking on a breath only for him to pull back again.
“mark, please, i’m sorry,” you cry out desperately. wanting so bad to finally be relieved. the edging was too much. your clit was throbbing so painfully and you needed him so badly. he leaves you untouched for a second too long, watching you squirm for him.
then with absolutely no warning, mark slaps his hard cock against your cunt, making you moan out in pleasure. he slides his member up and down your wet folds, teasing your entrance and for a moment you don’t even care that he’s not wearing a condom. his skin felt so fucking good againts yours. you just wanted him inside you. you felt the tip of him nudge against you again. but he didn’t push in. he just stayed there, teasing.
you whined, toes curling into the sheets, body arching up, “please….”
he chuckled, low, quiet, “i love hearing you beg,” he said, his tip brushing over your clit, solid and hot against your slick, “makes it real tempting to give in.”
“i could take you right now, kitten,” he whispered, voice wrecked with restraint, “you’d be so good for me, so ready,” he hums against your skin.
you gasped, barely holding onto your sanity, practically sobbing, “please do it, mark, please i need you,” you were soaked, throbbing, voice breaking with utter desperation — that was all he needed to hear. mark wraps his member and not even a second later he finally thrusts into you, sliding into your hole with ease. your body was so prepared for him, walls completely squeezing around his cock so perfectly, so warm.
he yanks off the blindfold from your face and for a moment the room spins with light and clarity until his brown eyes come into view. your tear-filled eyes meet his and the heat in his steals your breath. he was breathing just as hard as you are. just as worked up. he brings your legs up to your shoulders, your hands threading through his hair, pulling him closer, holding on to him like he was your lifeline. he was in so deeply, his cock hitting that spot over and over again. you were trembling, panting hard, jaw clenching as you fought to keep your eyes open. mark hovered above you, his thrusts unrelenting, his own breath ragged, the heat between you unbearable. you moaned his name like it was the only word you’ve ever learned, your voice dissolving into desperate, broken sounds.
“i’m gonna—mark, i’m gonna…,” your grip on his shoulder tightens, nails digging into his skin.
“—go on kitten,” he growled in your ear, voice thick with hunger, “cum for me.”
that was it. the pleasure tore through you like a wave, your whole body arching as your orgasm finally hit you. hard. jaw going slack, vision blurring, eyes rolling back as you practically saw stars. the way your pussy pulsed around him sent mark over the edge, “fuck kitten, such a good girl,” he managed to say in between breaths, before he was groaning in your neck, spilling into the condom. his movements slowed as he rode it out, then he collapsed gently on top of you, both of you shaking, skin slick and flushed.
you stay there for a moment or two, trying to even your ragged breathing. then…laughter bubbled from your lips. light, uncontrollable, like something cracked open inside you and it sounds like music to his ears.
“what?” his head lifted slightly, brows drawn, cock still inside you.
you giggled again, still catching your breath, “h-holy shit, mark” you gasped, eyes glassy with aftershocks, “i don’t think i’ve ever came that hard before.”
he gave you that crooked, self-satisfied boyish smirk and you almost regret complimenting him. then slowly, he pulled out of you, making your body ache with the sudden absence.
carefully, he brushed the tears from the corner of your eyes, “you okay though? i wasn’t too much?”
your heart tripped in your chest. you hated that it did.
you nodded, keeping it casual, ignoring the way his concern made something twist painfully inside you, “yeah. i’m good.”
he nods, settling beside you as you laid there, still catching your breath, your limbs buzzing, body sore in a satisfying way. mark hadn’t moved much either, his arm casually draped over your thigh, chest rising and falling steadily with you. neither of you spoke, but the silence wasn’t awkward. it was warm. settled. easy in a way it probably shouldn’t have been. it was too dangerous. you needed to break it.
“i’m hungry,” you said, voice still scratchy.
mark glanced over at you, a brow raised, “i just gave you an orgasm of a lifetime and the first thing on your mind is food?”
you gave him a lazy grin, “we burned a lot of calories from that, we deserve carbs”
he didn’t comment on your use of we. or the way that there was a we now makes his heart skip a beat. but the fact that he liked the sound of a we was far worse. that box he buried somewhere deep inside, suddenly popping up.
“you’re ridiculous,” he says, forcing out another laugh.
you reached for your phone on the nightstand, “pizza okay with you?,” and he realizes you’re inviting him to stay. you’re not kicking him out like you usually do after a session.
he pushes it a bit further, wanting to see how far this invitation goes “as long as i get to pick the movie this time.”
you narrowed your eyes at him like he’d stepped on thin ice and he’s afraid he pushed it a little too far, misread the moment, until you say, “and what movie are you picking?”
a smile curved his lips as he grabbed his shirt and sweats off the ground, putting it on, “spiderman. obviously,” he says, already making his way to your living room couch.
you blinked at him then grabbed the first clothes within reach, your shorts from the far corner and his hoodie slung over your desk chair, “which one?,” you called through your room, putting the clothes on.
“there’s only one right answer!”
“andrew’s?,” you teased, walking out of your bedroom. he froze for a second. you, in his hoodie, smiling like that. that same smile from freshman year. his brain short-circuited. you were making this whole forgetting thing really hard.
“hope you don’t mind,” you said with a small laugh, “i have no idea where you threw my shirt,” you chuckle.
“that’s fine,” he replied, maybe a little too fast, “and no not andrew’s”
you snorted, “fine, i’ll order pepperoni and you can fangirl over your web-slinging childhood hero,” you smirk, calling papa john’s.
mark grinned as he turned on the t.v. and started searching for the movie, “hey, that’s spiderman, protector of new york, thank you very much.”
you settled beside him a few minutes later, pizza box on the coffee table, movie playing, quiet jokes exchanged through bites of crust and cheese. somewhere between tobey maguire’s awkward charm and halfway through the pizza box, the space between you disappeared. this time, there was no gap. no careful leaning away. your thighs brushed his and neither of you moved. neither of you said anything. but maybe, just maybe, you both felt it — that same quiet something that had been growing since that friday night. still unspoken. still unnamed.
and mark realizes that he could get used to this.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 18. friday.
the door barely clicked shut before mark had his hands on you – rough, needy, all control. he didn’t waste a second. not a single hello, not a single warning. his mouth crashed into yours, all hunger and heat, urgent and commanding, steering you straight to the bedroom with the kind of focus only frustration could fuel.
“m-mark, what’s wrong?,” you managed to ask, concern laced in your voice.
“need you. now,” he growled, voice low, flat with no room for playfulness. you didn’t even make it to the bed. he spun you, yanked your shorts down, shoved you onto your desk chair. one hand ripping open a condom, the other dragging your panties aside and in one swift motion, he was inside you.
you gasped at the intrusion, fingers gripping your desk table, not at all prepared for him. there was no easing in, no pause. just raw, relentless need. and he didn’t care. he couldn’t care. he had too much to burn off. he thrusted in and out of your hole with a desperate rhythm that had you gasping his name between moans. the sound of skin slapping echoing through your bedroom walls.
“fuuuck, kitten, just what i needed,” he groaned, fingers digging into your hips like he was holding on for life. you were sure his fingerprints would mark your skin. he pulls you back onto him with every snap of his hips, like he couldn’t get deep enough, couldn’t get close enough.
“mark, fuck,” you gasped, tears pricking your eyes from the intensity. but he didn’t slow down. he was absolutely locked in, chest heaving, only focused on reaching that high.
“everything’s fucked,” he muttered between gritted teeth, slamming into you hard, “i just needed this…needed you.”
you felt him twitch inside you, pace stuttering for half a second, just enough to send that familiar heat spiraling through your core. the roughness, the force, the way he clung to you like you were the only thing that mattered – it pushed you straight to the edge. your body tensed, a cry spilling from your lips as your orgasm washed over you. you clenched incredibly tight around him and that’s all it took.
“shit, i’m cumming,” he groaned, choking on the sound as he slammed in one last time, hips jerking, fingers still digging into your flesh like he’d break without the contact.
for a moment, all that filled the room was the sound of your breathing – heavy, wrecked, uneven. he stayed there, buried deep, his forehead resting against your back, arms still wrapped around your waist like letting go would make the world crash in again. his breath fanned hot across your skin, heavy and uneven but slowly starting to settle.
you blinked through the haze, heart still racing, legs barely steady beneath you. you turned your head slightly, voice hoarse but gentle, “mark, what was that?”
he didn’t answer at first. just exhaled, slow and ragged. then he pulled out with care, discarding the used condom and pulling his sweatpants back up. his hands steady you as he gently placed your panties back in place. he turned you to face him, guiding you to sit, and then leaned in to press a kiss to your lips – soft, slow and achingly tender. the complete opposite of everything that had come before.
“are you okay?,” you asked, reaching out to cup the side of his face, searching for the answers in his eyes. he allowed himself to lean into your touch. almost like he needed it to breathe, eyes fluttering close for a second.
“jeno got in a fight,” he sighs heavily, voice low, almost defeated.
he sank into his knees in front of you, resting his head in your lap. without thinking, your fingers immediately thread through his hair like they belonged there, like this was normal. his arms wrapped around your waist with quiet desperation, “it got recorded, reached the dean in seconds and i had to go clean it up, make sure we don’t get shut down,” he says tiredly.
you just listen to him, letting him unravel.
“and finals are on monday, i think i’m ready…we’ve been studying really well, my quizzes went okay but it’s also my last chance…if i don’t pass these classes, i'm off the basketball team.”
his arms tightened around your waist like he was bracing himself.
“it’s just been…a lot, everyone thinks i’ve got it all together. they don’t even know i’ve managed to screw it all up…i’m failing my classes, the team…everyone,” his voice broke on the last word, barely more than a whisper.
his eyes shut again, like he couldn’t bear to have anyone see him like this — mark, who was everyone’s favorite. mark, who always made confidence look effortless. mark, who everyone admired, who never looked tired. mark, who was here, on your bedroom floor, falling apart.
and you realized now just how much he’d been carrying and how alone he must have felt doing it. he was a mirror of your own reflection. so you ask him the one question you wished people asked you.
“do you want to talk about it?,” you whispered, thumb softly brushing along his cheek.
his jaw tensed beneath your touch and you thought he might pull away. shove the vulnerability back down and wrap himself in that playful charm he wore so easily when you were sitting across from him at study session or tangled up in the sheets. but instead, his shoulders slumped. he starts, voice low and rough, “i thought i could fix it, just grind harder, push through like i’ve always been able to…but things just kept stacking up. practices, papers and now this thing with the fraternity.”
you’d seen the cracks, of course. you weren’t oblivious. him being late, the bags under his eyes, the way his shoulders stay tense no matter how relaxed he tried to seem. but he always played it off and you never pushed.
“i couldn’t tell anyone,” he continued, softer now, “i’m the leader, the co-captain…i'm supposed to know what to do. everyone leans on me, if i fall apart what happens to the rest of them?.” he lets out a bitter, humorless laugh.
“and i couldn’t tell you. you’re already helping me so much with tutoring and the sex and i didn’t want to drag you into my shit. especially since…this thing between is isnt supposed to include this, right?”
you didn’t respond right away because he was right — there were walls between you that needed to stay up. this was supposed to be easy. you were supposed to be each other’s safe option. the ones who didn't come with emotional trauma. the ones who wouldn’t ask for more. the ones who never pried, just notes, flashcards and casual sex without the weight of feelings or expectations.
“we’re still friends mark,” you said gently, “and friends don't let you go through the hard stuff alone.”
your voice was soft, but steady. you offered a small, honest smile and he finally looks up, meeting your eyes, letting himself be seen. he didn’t say anything after that, just looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time.
you didn’t break the gaze, didn’t try to fill the silence. you just stayed there, fingers still gently curling in his hair. letting him be here. letting him breathe. and he did – his head rested in your lap, arms still loosely wrapped around your waist like he didn’t quite know how to let go. didn’t want to let go. you could feel the weight of him, every little thing he’s been holding in, slowly settling.
no one rushed to define what this moment meant. no one tried to make a joke to cut the lingering tension — it was just quiet. stretching between you full of things unsaid. of a certain kind of understanding that didn’t need to be spoken out loud. and for now, this was enough.
just two people, sitting in their own wreckage, breathing together, pretending they weren’t crossing a line.
eventually, you felt the need to offer him something more than quiet comfort. something normal. something safe.
“what do you say, we skip tutoring session for the day and watch spiderman 2, i can order chinese this time?,” you say, finally breaking the quiet.
his eyes flicked up to yours. there was a pause, like the suggestion took a second to land. then slowly, the tension in his face bagan to ease, a smile tugging on his lips, “and what about finals week?”
“mark you know it, you’ve gotten every single question right our last two sessions,” you reassure him, “there’s not a single doubt in my mind you’re going to pass,” you smirked, brushing his hair back from his forehead.
that pulled a real breath of relief from him, a soft laugh, muffled against your lap, “we’re watching tobey’s spiderman 2, right?”
for the rest of the night, there was no tutoring, no expectations, no pressure. just honey walnut shrimp, fried rice, spider-man swinging through new york city and two people, curled up on the couch, who weren’t quite sure what they were but certain that this comfort, this closeness, was something they wanted.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 20. sunday.
mark: dude
mark: [1 image]
mark: saw this and thought of you
kitten: ???
kitten: mark. that’s just a cat.
mark: she has your eyes!!
kitten: bro 😭😭
kitten: she looks like she’s ready to attack u
mark: exactly
mark: just like you! 😼
kitten: seek help
kitten: and good luck on your finals markkk
kitten: you're gonna kill it
mark: what’s my reward if i pass? 🫣
kitten: freedom from me 🙂↕️
kitten: sex with anyone you want! 🙂↕️🙂↕️
kitten: any day you want!! 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
mark stared at your texts, thumbs hovering over the screen, his grin being wiped off — it was exactly the kind of thing you’d say. playful, detached, safe. like he hasn’t seen the most vulnerable parts of you. like you haven’t seen the worst parts of him.
his stomach churns in a funny way. it didn’t hit him until now that passing his classes also meant your tutoring sessions were over. no more flashcards, no more learning each other’s bodies, no more movie nights and greasy take out foods. no more you.
he set his phone down beside him, letting his head fall back against the pillow. suddenly, the finish line didn’t feel like a victory lap. it felt like a goodbye. and sure, you would still be around, he would still see you in passing, on campus, in random parties – you would still be his friend.
the word leaves a sour taste in his mouth. if he was being completely honest, he didn’t want to stop seeing you. he didn’t want this to end just because the excuse to stay had run out. he wanted to be on your couch, watching spiderman. you still had six of them to go. he wanted the greasy takeout, the shared silence, the casual way your leg would brush against his like it didn’t mean everything.
he wanted to keep learning you. your favorite color, your favorite songs, your favorite everything until there was nothing left to learn. and even then, when all the learning is done, he just wanted to be there.
he wanted to be allowed to stay. to be able to wrap his arms around you and not wonder if he’s crossing a line. to show up with all your favorite snacks, and this time he knows what they are. to kiss you and not feel that sick, sinking guilt in his stomach when it meant more to him than it ever should have.
he started typing: what if i don’t want freedom from you?
he stared at it for a second. then deleted it.
typed again: sooo i still get to bother you after finals, right?
he deleted that one too.
mark: haha, nice 👍
he sighed, tossing his phone face-down onto the bed like that would somehow quiet the tightness in his chest.
your phone buzzed again. his response felt off or maybe it was just all in your head. you shook the thoughts away and turned back to your laptop, reviewing for your own classes.
you weren’t going there. you couldn't.
you refuse to be too much again. too needy.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 21. monday.
when mark stepped out of his last class of the day, he found you immediately, leaning against the wall, a drink in your hand, smiling at him.
before he could even think about it, his feet were already moving, carrying him, each step closing in towards you as he pulled you into a hug. his face nestles in the crook of your neck, a quiet sigh of relief slipping past his lips. he just wanted to stay here for a while. wrapped in the calm only you seemed to bring.
you froze, just for a moment. the hug catches you off guard. you’ve never been this touchy in public. you could feel the eyes on you, see a few raised brows in your peripheral vision. still, after a beat or two, you gave in, arms looping around his waist, one hand still gripping the cup of milk tea you got for him.
“it wasn’t that bad, was it?,” you murmured near his ear. he chuckles against your neck, the breath of air tickling before leaning back just enough to look at you, his hands still lingering on your hips like he’d forgotten to let go.
“i’m pretty sure i aced it,” he said, all confidence and charm.
you raise a brow, “so why did you just hug me like the world was ending?”
his smirk flickered, replaced by something quieter, heavier “you said once i passed, this would be over.”
he tried to keep it light, but the words tasted bitter, “figured, i should take what i can while i still can.”
you push away the feeling rising in your throat, glancing down at the drink in your hand, shoving the emotion aside “here, i got this for you, a mini reward.”
he takes it with a soft laugh, fingers brushing against yours, just a moment too long. his eyes stayed on you as he took a sip and something about the way he looks at you makes your chest twist — it wasn’t supposed to feel like this. not in daylight. not out here, in the open, where it could be mistaken for something real.
“people are staring at us,” you murmured, gaze dropping.
he doesn’t even glance around them, “let them.”
you tried to deflect, lips tugging into a smirk “what? and ruin your chances with all your girls?”
but he didn’t laugh. he didn’t play along. didn’t take the out this time.
“maybe i only want one girl.”
the breath caught in your throat. your heart stuttered. you looked up at him, eyes searching, desperate to find some hint of irony, some trace of a grin. anything that would let you write it off.
“hmm,” you force out a chuckle, thin and cracked, “you? mr. i don’t go exclusive,” you teased, your voice barely holding steady.
he smiled, but he didn’t deny it. that was when the panic set in.
“i have to go, i still have a class to get to,” and before he could respond, you were already walking away. you didn’t look back. you couldnt.
mark stayed where he was for a while, just watching your figure get smaller and smaller, drink in his hand, feeling the warmth of your body still clinging to his skin. people moved around him in chatter, footsteps on concrete, but it all blurred.
he meant it — he didn’t just let those words slip for no reason. he’d thought about it all night, maybe longer, and when the words came out, they didn’t surprise him. and it didn’t surprise him either how quiet you went, how fast you looked away, how quickly you pivoted back to safe ground, barely entertaining the thought.
you were the girl who didn’t believe in love. he knew that. and you could continue pretending that this was nothing. you could continue to shove it down with a joke, whatever you needed to do to keep him at arm’s length.
but he was done playing along. he wasn’t going to pretend anymore.
he wanted you to have all his mondays, wednesdays and fridays. even the tuesdays and thursdays. and every last goddamn saturdays and sundays. if you’d let him.
⟢
mark’s words echoes in your ears, clear and sharp and impossible to shake as you lay in your bed, wide awake.
you replay the moment in your head, over and over. the way he held you like you were something to hold onto. the way his fingers didn’t let go right away.
the way your heart betrayed you.
you hated how easy it would be to believe him. to want more. to hope. again.
but love had already burned you. already ruined you. it hollowed you out, left you scattered in pieces you barely recognized. you gave and gave until there was nothing left to give and even then, you still tried to be enough. you made yourself smaller, more manageable, easier to love. and you hated it. hated who you became when love took over – clingy, dependent, pathetic, insecure.
the kind of person who lost herself in someone else’s orbit and called it devotion. the kind of person who mistook being needed for being desired. the kind of person who became the version they needed until the real you felt like a distant memory.
it took everything to rebuild yourself from the wreckage love left behind. you had to learn how to be alone again. how to stop apologizing for needing anything at all. you had to teach yourself to exist without someone else’s hands holding you together.
you swore to yourself you’d never be that girl again.
but here you are, heart stuttering at a single sentence from a boy who was never supposed to matter this much. all your careful walls cracking, your breath catching, body already leaning toward him like muscle memory.
and even after all the warning signs going off in your head, every scar whispering don’t, you can’t help but want him.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 23. wednesday.
there was a knock on your door. you didn’t have to look through the peephole to know who it was.
you consider not opening it. pretend you weren’t home. an internal conflict going on between your mind and your heart. one half of you aching for him, the other half gripping onto the remaining boundary you had left.
you sigh, dragging your feet across the door, fingers hesitating on the knob.
“kitten, i know you’re there, the light is on,” mark’s voice announces through the other door. the nickname didn’t feel harmless anymore. it felt like a hand reaching through a door you were trying desperately to seal shut. a reminder of the closeness you’d let happen. the thing you swore wouldn’t need again.
“i brought food,” he added, tone lighter this time. like this could be another normal night of movies and food and silence where feelings should go.
you hated how much you wanted it. hated how you unlocked the door and pulled it open, meeting the brown warm eyes that was so dangerous. he was in one of his hoodies that always looked too comfortable, takeout in his arms with an expression that you couldn’t quite read. or maybe you didn’t want to.
“i thought we could watch spider-man 3, it’s the last tobey one,” he said, raising the food like it was some sort of offering.
you stepped aside wordlessly, letting him in and he walked in like he always did. like he belonged here, in your space. he removed his shoes, placed everything on the coffee table, sat on his side of the couch like everything was normal. like nothing happened. like those words didn’t leave his mouth and had you stuck on him ever since. like he hadn’t said something too big for this setup you had.
and you let him. you followed the script too. you dimmed the lights, grabbed the blanket from the side of the couch and pulled it over both of your legs, hit play on the movie.
for a while, neither of you said a word. until the movie reached a lull and you realized not a single joke has been said between you. you sneak a look at him only to find he was already looking at you.
“why are you looking at me like that?,” you whisper into the night air.
“like what?,” he deflected, smile barely there.
you raise a brow, giving him a pointed look, but your heart is already thudding, “like that,” you murmur.
mark’s smile fades into something quieter. something real. his eyes didn’t leave yours, “maybe i’m just trying to memorize you,” he said softly, like the words had been sitting on his tongue for days. it was quiet and honest. and it wrecked you.
your chest tightened. heat crept up your neck, blooming beneath your skin, but it wasn’t the good kind. it was panic, nostalgia, longing, everything you’d spent years trying to outrun. you blinked fast, trying to swallow the ache, the confusion, the hope. you couldn’t hold his gaze.
then his hand moved, gentle, almost afraid, thumb brushing over your thigh, “does this really have to end after finals?,” he asked. his voice wasn’t playful. there was something almost broken in it. something that wanted more.
you look down at his hand. it’s warm. steady.
you forced your voice into something light, something distant, “what do you mean mark?,” you play dumb, “you can still come over, we can still hang out and watch movies.”
“you know that’s not what i mean, y/n,” his voice cut clean through you. he looked at you like you held the whole world and you hated it. because you’ve seen that look in someone else’s eyes before and you remember how that story ended.
“i want you.” he said. he’s always been upfront, the kind of guy who goes for exactly what he wants. honest. no confusion. he wasn’t going to stop that just because what he wanted now was a little different than usual.
“—not just the movie nights. i want to be able to kiss you without wondering if i’m crossing the line. i want to hold your hand. i don’t want to have to leave.”
you could hear it in his voice, that he meant every word. that he was laying himself bare. your lungs were full of things you’ve never said. fears you never voiced.
“do you want me because you want me,” you whispered, “or because you need me?”
the room went still. mark blinked, caught off guard. his face twisted in confusion. he didn’t understand the question. “what’s the difference?”
you nodded once, slowly, even though he didn’t get it. especially because he didn’t get it. that was all the confirmation you needed. the quiet confirmation of every fear you've been carrying. your thoughts spiraled, fast and breathless – he saw you as the person who kept him from falling apart, not the person who could be loved on her own terms. you didn’t want to be a need. you wanted to be a choice. wanted to be loved for your fire, your flaws, your silence, your mess. all of it.
you pulled the blanket off, stood up, walked toward the kitchen under the disguise of grabbing water but you really just needed the distance, needed to breathe.
behind you, mark didn’t move. the space where you’d just been now empty and echoing. the movie played on, some forgotten scene washing the walls in flickering color, fading into the background. all he could hear was the question that you’d asked. the silence that followed after he said the wrong thing. the way you walked away like you were holding yourself together with a string.
he stood slowly, following you into the kitchen, footsteps soft like he was afraid he’d scare you off if he made too much noise. you were standing there, back to him.
“i didn’t mean it like that,” he said, voice low, careful.
when you didn’t respond, he continued, “i don’t need you like a fix,” he stepped closer, gently, slowly. and then, he lets his confessions stumble into the night air. all of the words he’d been dying to tell you.
“i want you like—,” his voice broke slightly, “like i want to wake up with you next to me, i want to know your favorite things, i want your sarcasm, your bad jokes, i want to be the one you call when your day’s gone to shit or when someone tells you a funny story and you just have to share it with someone, i want all the parts you hide. that’s what i meant.”
he was so close now. you closed your eyes and it terrifies you how much you wanted that too.
“i’ve been through this before, mark,” you said, barely above a whisper, “i gave someone everything and he only loved me because he needed me, because it was easy at first. not the real me. not the mess. not the scared, guarded, overthinking, too-much me.”
mark stepped closer until there was barely space between you.
“y/n, i’m not him,” he says, voice full of conviction, “let me prove it. if it takes time, i’ll wait. if you need space, i’ll give it. but please stop acting like none of this is real, stop acting like this was all just tutoring and sex. don’t shut me out because someone else couldn’t handle you. because i can. i want to.”
you stared at the floor. every wall you’d built over the years was trembling in your chest, all of them threatening to collapse and you were desperately trying to keep them together. he was saying everything you’d ever needed someone to say. yet you can’t find it in yourself to believe him.
your fear was louder than your hope.
“i need space,” you breathed. it was all you could manage. your voice almost gave out on the last word.
mark stilled, his throat bobbed as he swallowed. then he stepped back. just once. and said, gently, “okay.”
he didn’t try to kiss you or hold you or close the space between you with anything physical. and that, more than anything, told you this wasn’t about need.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 25. friday.
the knock came again. you hadn’t expected it, your heart climbing straight into your throat.
you hadn’t spoken since that night. you told him you needed space and to his credit, he gave it. though as soon as he left you wanted him back. you couldn’t even understand your own emotions anymore.
he didn’t call. didn't text and even though it’s only been two days — the silence had been deafening.
your hand hovered near the doorknob again, just like it had before. like you were caught in a loop.
“y/n?,” his voice was softer this time. not playful, not teasing, just quiet and raw, “i…i got my results.”
you closed your eyes, just listening to his voice and the way he was able to shut down all the other voices in your head.
“i haven’t checked it yet,” he added after a beat, “i didn’t want to do it alone.”
something in you cracked and you opened the door. mark stood there, phone in hand, eyes tired and bloodshot like he hadn’t slept well in days. he didn’t step in this time. he just looked at you like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. you didn’t say anything. just stepped aside, letting him in. he walked in slowly, like he was afraid he might wake something fragile in the room. you followed him to the couch, sat next to him, close enough to touch but not touching.
he sat with his phone in his palm, screen still black, staring at it.
“just open it,” you said quietly, finally breaking the silence.
he turned to you, eyes searching, “i can’t do it,” he says, handing you the phone “you open it for me.”
you grab it from him, clicking the school’s app and reloading the screen, waiting for the results. the second felt too long, mark’s legs anxiously bouncing, you looked up at him with an expression he couldn’t read and his throat catches.
then in one second, your grin grew wider, “you passed!,” you cheered, laughter bubbling from your lips. he hasn’t realized how much he missed that sound until now. the past few days have definitely been an emotional turmoil.
mark blinked, “i..i did?,”
you nodded, laughing again, eyes shining, “you did, mark! look,” you say, shoving the phone in his face.
for a beat, he just stared at you, like he didn’t quite believe it. then it all hit him at once, a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding finally exhaled. relief, pride, disbelief all crashing into his chest in one wave.
and before he could stop himself he pulled you into his lap in a mini victory, both of you laughing, excited, happy. his arms wrapped around you tight, burying his face into your shoulder like this was the only place he ever wanted to be. you hug him just as tight, now straddling him, arms curled around him as you both bask in his victory, your laughter’s harmonizing in the air.
after a few seconds, your body relaxed into his and for the first time in days, it felt easy again, natural. like muscle memory. like this was where you both belonged.
“i knew you could do it,” you murmured near his ear, voice soft. he pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands still holding onto your side like didn’t want to let go yet.
and maybe it was the adrenaline in your system. maybe it was the look on his face. or maybe it was the way his hands lingered on your waist. but you didn’t think.
you leaned in and kissed him.
it was gentle, like asking a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to. he kissed you back with no hesitation, no second guessing. just the feeling of your lips in his, warm and certain.
mark’s hand cup your jaw like you were something breakable and important all at once. there was a slight tremble in his touch, like he couldn’t believe you were letting him this close. terrified that one wrong move would send you running.
the kiss wasn’t desperate, it wasn’t rushed. it was everything that hadn’t been said, missing each other in a way neither of you had admitted.
your hand curled into the fabric of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you steady. your body swayed forward without permission, knowing what it wanted before your mind could catch up. his forehead dropped to yours and for a moment, neither of you said anything.
“i missed you,” you whispered, voice shaking. his eyes fluttered shut at the words, something raw flickering across his features. he kissed you again, slow and intentional. like he needed you to feel every unsaid thing he did not know how to say.
the kiss deepened, soft lips parting, breath mingling. his hand moved down, tracing your spine as he pulled you closer and every inch of your body hummed with anticipation. you tugged on his black shirt, tugging it over his head. you helped each other undress with quiet urgency, fingertips brushing skin, lips reconnecting in between.
mark grabs your thighs, gently lifting you up and turning you over to lay you down on the couch. he hovered over you, eyes dragging slowly down the length of your body, memorizing every line, every curve.
“you’re so beautiful,” he breathed, brushing your hair from your forehead.
your throat tightened.
he trailed kisses over your jaw, your neck, the slope of your shoulder, your breasts. every kiss feeling like a promise. his hands were everywhere, trailing over your waist, the dip of your hip, down your thigh, slow and warm and reverent. he took his time. worshipped every inch like he didn't want to miss a second of this.
he knew exactly where to touch you. knew the spots that ignited that fire in your stomach. he pushes your panties to the side and when his mouth finally found the place between your legs, you gasped, back arching. he groaned at the sound, at the taste of you, gripping your thighs gently, keeping you open for him. he watched your every reaction, paid attention to all of your sinful moans like it was his favorite song. his tongue moved, licking and circling and sucking until you were gasping his name, eyes fluttering shut, legs shaking around his shoulders.
your fingers laced through his, grabbing onto him like he was the last thing keeping you there. and when you came, it hit hard, head thrown back, toes curling. he stayed right there, drawing it out, licking through every wave. he kissed his way back up your body, slow and open mouthed until you pulled him back to your lips, tasting yourself on his tongue.
“mark,” you whispered, breathless, “bedroom.”
you didn’t have to say it again. mark grabbed your thighs, picking you up with ease, his bare chest warm against yours, legs wrapped around him, heartbeat thudding in rhythm with your own as he carried you to your bedroom. the air between you is charged and fragile in a way it had never been before. as soon as your back hit the mattress, you pulled him down to meet you. lips meeting again. but it wasn’t like the other times. there was no reckless rush, no frantic need. this kiss was deeper. slower. like he wanted to taste every part of you that had been out of reach until now.
his weight settled over you, grounding, familiar but all too different. he kissed you like he was afraid this might be the last time. touching you like he was memorizing you all over again, not your body, he already knew that – but you.
the way you sighed when his fingers brushed over your hips. the way your breath hitched when his lips settled over that sensitive spot below your ear. the way your hands roamed over his back, curling at the base of his spine like you didn’t know how to keep him close enough.
then suddenly, he stopped. bracing himself on his forearms, forehead pressed to yours, “wait,” he murmured, breathing hard, like it physically hurt to not be touching you.
you blinked, disoriented by the sudden break in heat as he curses under his breath, “i-i didn’t bring a condom…i didn’t expect to–,”
“i-i should have some,” you turned quickly, reaching for the drawer of your nightstand only to find your box of condoms empty.
you looked at him. he looked at you. a beat of silence passing in between you.
his hand found yours, warm brown eyes boring into yours, “we don’t have to.”
“do you want me?,” your voice cracked a little and that’s when you realized your throat was tight, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
“of course i do, kitten,” he said, placing a soft kiss on the inside of your wrist, “but i want you, not just this.”
“i want you, too,” you whisper like you were sharing a secret. his breath hitched. whole body stilling. you saw the moment he gave in, the exact second his restraint cracked.
“i-i’ll pull out,” he mumbled, still trying to be careful.
“i’m on the pill mark,” you said softly, “you can stay inside.” something in him faltered, his breath hitched, eyes darkening. he kissed you again, slower than before, more tentative, like he needed to make sure you meant it.
he lines himself up against your core, giving you one last look for confirmation and when you nod, granting him permission, he finally gave in to what you both wanted. he slid into you slowly, carefully, his forehead pressed to yours, breaths tangling. you felt the tremble in his arms, the shudder that worked through him as he sank fully into you – making you feel full, whole, complete.
you both stilled, letting the moment settle.
you’d done this before. countless times. fast, rough, unspoken. but it had never felt like this. this felt like new territory. this felt like falling.
this wasn’t about sex. this was about every word you’d left unsaid.
your hands roamed up his back, fingernails grazing over the muscles there and his body responded to every touch, arching into you slightly. you could feel every vein on his cock, every twitch, every pulse. he moved slowly, deeper than he had before, watching your face for every flicker of reaction.
mark’s hand came up to brush the hair from your cheek, as he littered kisses from your cheekbones, along your jaw, every inch of skin he could find, “i was made for you” he whispered.
your chest ached, eyes burned. you didn’t know what to do with those words so instead you pulled him closer and kissed him hard. desperate to shut him up. to shut yourself up. to make the ache go away. every movement was slow, sensual, too vulnerable. every inch of your skin between you whispering i missed you, don’t leave again, please feel what i’m feeling.
his hand laced with yours, fingers locking tight, fitting together like two connecting pieces of a puzzle. it was all too much. the way he stayed close, nose brushing your cheek. the way he murmured your name under his breath like it was the only word he knew.
you whispered his name when that coil in your stomach started to tighten, the pressure ready to be released, tension curling through your body. he kissed your temple, your cheekbone, your mouth, over and over again as you came undone beneath him. your legs trembled, breath hitched, back arching as he talked you through it, murmuring praises in your ear.
he followed soon after, body shuddering against yours as he gave in, marking your walls, a grunt of your name spilling from his lips. and even then, he didn’t let go of your hand. he stayed inside you long after, face buried in the curve of your neck, body heavy over yours in the best way. neither of you said anything, just basking in the warmth of each other’s bodies.
you’ve never felt fuller. the feeling of skin on skin. of a truth too big to name yet.
and when he pulled out, you felt the loss of him like a jolt. your body throbbed, empty and aching. he reached for the tissues on your bedside table, gently wiping away the mess you two made.
you swallowed hard, “mark-”
his eyes searched yours, desperate and open and unguarded in a way you’d never seen before. he was just as scared as you. scared that you would push him away again, “please,” he begs, “don’t make me leave.”
“i don’t know how to do this,” you said finally, voice barely above a whisper, “i don’t know how to accept this.” you couldn’t even bring yourself to say the word. that one word lingering in both of your tongues.
mark’s face softened, something inside him cracking at your words. he leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours again, “we can figure it out,” he says, “but we don’t have to figure it all out tonight…for tonight let's just…stay here.”
your eyes stung. he wasn’t asking for promises. he wasn’t demanding answers. he was just asking you not to run. not yet. you nodded and he exhaled like he’d been holding his breath for weeks. neither of you said anything after that. he shifted beside you, pulling you into his arms, your body curling naturally into the space against his chest. one of his hands wrapped around your back, the other held your hand like he was scared you would just disappear.
you laid there, wrapped in him, your heart a mess of silence and scars. listening to the beat of his heart. trying to believe this could be real.
“i don’t want to hurt you,” you whispered into his skin.
“you already do,” he murmured, raw and honest, brushing his lips to your hair.
“i’m sorry.”
“there’s nothing to be sorry for, kitten. i’d rather be hurt with you than feel nothing without you,” he whispers, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. your eyes fluttered closed at that, too tired to hold everything in your chest. too afraid of what would happen when morning came. but for right now, in this moment, you let yourself stay.
and somewhere between his breathing and the ache in your chest, you fell asleep in his arms, tangled up in a mess of limbs, heartbreak and that word you both can’t say.
ᓚᘏᗢ april 26. saturday.
mark woke up to the soft morning light filtering in through your bedroom window, stretching across the sheets like a quiet whisper. the space beside him cold. his hand reached out before his eyes even opened, instinctively searching for you, but the space was empty, only leaving behind the shape of your figure.
his brows furrowed as he sat up slowly, blanket slipping off his chest. the room felt too still. like the warmth had left with you. he got up, heart tightening as his bare feet hits the floor, pulling on his sweats as he stepped into your living room — empty.
no note. no text. no sound of the shower. just silence. the kind of silence that presses on your ribs and makes everything feel heavier than it should.
mark exhaled slowly, rubbing his face with both hands. this wasn’t new – this disappearing act of yours, distant and cold. but it hurt more today. especially after last night. after they way you kissed him like you meant it. the way you held him like you wanted him. the way you made love to him like you loved him.
he sat down on the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. the victory of passing his finals felt like a faded memory now. and maybe you were just getting breakfast? maybe you were getting coffee? maybe you went out for a quick walk? but deep down, he knew better.
because when someone leaves without saying goodbye, it’s never just about getting coffee – it’s about fear. about retreat. about trying to stuff last night back into that box. a box where it doesn’t fit anymore.
he didn’t know what would happen next but he made you a promise and he’s determined to keep it. even if you never let him this close again. even if this was the last night he’d get to love you the way he wanted to. but he wouldn’t push. he wouldn’t beg. he wouldn’t ask you to feel more than you were ready to. he knew your walls were built from heartbreak and survival and he would never try to tear them down.
but he’ll show up — quietly, steadily, solid where you expected everyone to vanish. he wouldn’t ask for anything in return. not your love, not your certainty, not even your presence. just the chance to exist nearby. just the permission to care.
you didn’t have to earn his love by loving him back.
and if someday you turned around and realized you didn’t want to be alone anymore. he’d be here, welcoming you with open arms.
⟢
you hadn’t meant to leave like that. not really.
you told yourself it was just a short walk. just some air. just to clear your head before the morning got too loud and the reality of your actions settled in too deep.
your lips still felt the ghost of his. your skin still hummed with the way he touched you like he knew you — not just the version you showed him on movie nights and tutoring sessions, but the messy, terrified, too much version you’d spent years trying to hide. he kissed you like he wasn’t afraid of her. and that pushed you further down your fears.
you didn’t know if you were allowed to believe in it. so you left. not to hurt him. never too hurt him. but to protect yourself. protect him from you. to build the distance before you both could fall all the way in.
you couldn’t stop thinking about the look on his face when you told him he passed — a mixture of excitement and bittersweet emotion clearly on display. the way he hugged you like you were home. and then, god, you kissed him. and for the first time in forever, kissing someone didn’t feel like an escape. you swallowed hard. you were so afraid of these emotions. of needing him.
you went back home when the sun was down, mark nowhere to be seen, except for a note left on your coffee table, written in mark’s handwriting:
“call me if you need me.”
just simple words that made your chest ache.
if. not when.
he wasn’t expecting you to need him. wasn’t asking you to lose yourself again, to shrink, to bleed out the softest parts of you just to keep him. he wasn’t trying to save you or fix you or unravel you for the sake of making you his.
he left you a choice, control fully in your hands. a door, cracked open.
if you need me.
not a condition. not a plea. just kindness wrapped in restraint. not loud or overwhelming. not all-consuming. just patient. just quiet. just there.
ᓚᘏᗢ one week later. may 3. saturday.
you never contacted him. you didn’t know how to face him.
some days, you’d go home to take-out waiting for you by the door, still warm, like he’d just left. there were messages left in your phone. messages that you read over and over again, finger hovering above the keyboard. a reminder that mark was still there. that he still cares.
you just didn’t know what to do with that.
“c’mon y/n, come to the party at the wayv frat tonight,” your best friend, yeri, says through the phone, her voice bright and pleading.
“yeri, i don’t really feel like partying,” you sigh, voice low and dull.
“y/n, you can’t push us away too, we’re your friends,” she says more firmly now.
you told her all about it a couple nights ago, over the fried chicken mark left at your doorstep, the soju in your fridge and a loose tongue that couldn’t keep your pain in any longer.
you spilled everything. what happened with mark, how it started, how it ended and yeri almost killed you with your own pillow. you can still hear her voice now, going through every stage of disbelief like it was a full-blown performance.
she went from, “are you kidding me?! mark lee?!,”followed by a dramatic gasp and a mischievous smirk, “was he good?? was he big?,” then came the pause, wide eyes, jaw dropping surprise “he said he only wanted one girl!!?? THE mark lee?? wanting one girl???,” and then her voice cracked, eyes misting as she whispered, “he wanted to know your favorite things?!?!” like it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
and then she strangled you with your own pillow when you got to the end of the story.
she was very much #teammark at the moment.
she was tired of your self sabotaging, your walls, your stubbornness — the way you rejected affection like it was poison. the way you flinched from being needed. from being loved. she understood it came from a place in your past. she never dismissed that pain. but she firmly reminded you that you can’t let your past haunt you forever. that the echoes of what hurt you, the ghosts that whisper you’re unlovable or unsafe, should not define the life you’re living now. she gave you an entire pep talk talking about how you can’t keep holding someone with one hand while the other is clinging to everything that once went wrong. and maybe the love in front of you isn’t perfect, maybe it’s messy and complicated and terrifying but it’s here and it’s real and it could be everything only if you let it.
“look,” yeri cuts through your train of thought,, “mina, doyeon, and ningning will be there too, okay, “you’re the only one that's going to be missing.”
you hesitate.
“he probably won’t even be there,” she adds quickly, “the dream frat most likely has their own party going on tonight.”
you don’t believe her. especially since you knew the dream frat was still under observance from that fight jeno threw.
“i don’t know…,” you say.
“c’mon,” she says, softer this time, “it’s the end of finals, we deserve to let loose and have fun,” she tries, one more time.
you exhale slowly, already halfway convinced.
“...fine.” you mutter, earning a bubbly scream from the other side.
⟢
the music is loud the moment you step through the door, laughter spilling down the hallways, the scent of cheap beer and fruity vape lingering in the air. you’re already regretting the black dress hugging your body, the heels, and the fact that you let yeri talk you into this.
“shots first!,” she yells over the music, dragging you toward the room. you spot familiar faces, mina waving from across the room, doyeon chatting up a pretty girl, ningning locked in an intense game of beer pong with a guy in sunglasses — it’s all the usual chaos. familiar. almost comforting.
you let the noise wash over you, grateful for the distraction until yeri stiffens beside you. you know before you even turn. he’s here — mark lee, leaning casually against the wall across the room, red cup in hand. he’s mid-conversation with a boy you knew, xiaojun – music major, member of the wayv fraternity, also a guy you tutored.
he was laughing, looking relaxed until he saw you.
and everything stops.
almost like you were the only two in the room.
his smile falters. eyes lock with yours. like he didn’t expect you to be here. doesn’t know what to do now that you’re both standing in the same room again.
you forget how to breathe for a second.
“y/n…,” yeri starts, but you shake your head, breaking away from his gaze.
“i’m fine.” you’re not.
but that’s what you tell her, forcing a smile, “let’s get those shots,” you manage to say as you and yeri slip into the kitchen. looking for something to drink. preferably something strong.
⟢
he hadn’t planned on staying long. he hasn’t really been in the mood for parties this whole week. it was too loud, too crowded, too many people and none of them were you.
but chenle, haechan and jisung kept dragging him out night after night, insisting he just needed to “get back out there.”
it hasn’t worked — he wasn’t interested in anyone else, no matter how pretty his friends say they were. all he could think about was you.
he sees you in the spiderman figurines he had in his room. he sees you in the half-eaten pizza box that the boys had ordered, where he could practically hear your laugh. he sees you in his notes. in every damn song that plays. in the stray cat that kept curling up on their lawn. the basketball court. the library. every corner he found himself in is a memory of you.
and sex has been different since that night. not after what you’d shared. not after what it felt like to be wanted like that, to want like that. he didn’t even know if he could go back to casual anymore, especially after feeling intimacy that intense.
so yeah, the plan was simple, he was gonna show up for a bit, make his rounds, say hi to his friends then dip. lock himself up in his room. back to waiting for your call.
he didn’t expect to see you but there you were, walking through the crowd.
and he wished he looked a little better. put a little more effort into his outfit. but truth to be told, he didn't think he had anyone to impress. his light stubble has grown in. he was only in a plain white shirt and black jeans. he didn't even bother styling his hair.
one second, he’s laughing at something xiaojun said, the next the breath gets knocked out of him — you walked in like you didn’t want to be there but still looking so effortlessly beautiful. the walls you’ve been hiding behind standing tall all around you.
every instinct tells him to go to you but his feet stay planted, the grip on his cup tightening.
“dude,” xiaojun says, mid-sentence, eyebrows raising, “are you even listening to me?”
mark doesn’t answer, he watches your eyes sweep the room and then land on him.
everything else disappears.
he doesn’t even hear the music anymore. the crowd becomes nothing more than a blur of faceless shapes, none of them worth noticing.
you still have that look in your eyes. that haunted, guarded look he’s seen too many times. the one that says i want to let you in, but i can’t afford to be hurt again.
you break the contact first, of course you do. he can’t help but continue to stare.
“okay,” xiaojun says suddenly, setting down his drink. “that’s it. i’m introducing you.”
mark’s head snaps toward him, “wait, what?”
“don’t know what happened to you, man but you’ve clearly lost your game,” his friend shrugs, already grabbing mark by the sleeve, “i got this. stop being a pussy, i’ll be your wingman.”
mark resists, suddenly very aware of his surroundings, planting his feet, “no…xiaojun, wait, you don’t understand–”
“she’s super chill,” xiaojun interrupts confidently, “smart as hell, kind of terrifying at first glance but definitely nice. i got you, don’t worry.”
“xiaojun…seriously–” mark hisses, digging his heels in, heart pounding in panic now, “we already…we know each other.”
but xiaojun didn’t hear him. too excited. too focused at playing matchmaker and hauling him toward the kitchen. “you can thank me later,” he grins, “just let me cook.”
mark’s stomach sinks. his hands are clammy. he’s seconds away from bolting. and then you turn around, cup in hand, mid-sip, just as xiaojun barrels into the kitchen with mark reluctantly in tow.
“y/n!,” xiaojun calls cheerfully. mark looks like he’s been dragged into hell itself, his eyes sending you an apology and you can’t help the way your brows lift.
“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, choking on your drink and mark has to physically stop himself from reaching out to check if you are okay. you curse the fact that you let yeri leave you alone just a few seconds ago.
xiaojun beams, “i want you to meet my friend! this is mark. mark this is y/n..she used to tutor me back in the day. super scary, very smart,” you can’t help but raise a brow at his description, “anyway, you two should totally talk,” he wiggles his eyebrows.
mark gives you a look like he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. his voice comes out tight, strained, like it hurts to speak, “hey.”
you glance at mark. he glances at you. and somehow, without saying anything, you both decide to play along.
“nice to meet you,” you say coolly, extending a hand like you haven’t seen every inch of him in moments you’re trying very hard to forget.
mark straightens up, his face schooled into a neutral smile. he takes your hand and his touch lingers just a little too long, bringing up feelings you tried so hard to push away, “same here.”
xiaojun beams, totally buying it, “see? told you i got you,” he whispers, making you quip a brow.
mark doesn’t look away from you, “so…you used to tutor xiaojun?”
you nod, keeping your expression composed, “yeah, freshman year. he was failing basic algebra.”
xiaojun gasps in mock offence, “i had a C-”
“which is failing,” you shoot back without missing a beat.
mark chuckles under his breath, eyes crinkling, “sounds like you were a tough tutor.”
“that depends on who i’m tutoring,” you say, like you didn’t spend the past month tutoring him.
xiaojun claps his hands together, clearly pleased with himself, “this is going great. i’m so good at at this. i should charge people.”
“oh yeah,” mark says, playing along, nodding solemnly. “you should definitely monetize your matchmaking business.”
“maybe i will!,” xiaojun grins, painstakingly oblivious to the undercurrent of tension thickening between you two, “anyway, i’m gonna go and leave you two alone. you guys get to know each other. don’t do anything i wouldn’t do!,” he winks and disappears back into the party.
and just like that, the mask drops. the space between you crackling.
mark raises an eyebrow, “nice to meet you, huh?”
you shrug, “you started it.”
he smirks faintly, “you didn’t have to shake my hand like we were at a networking event.”
“well, you didn’t have to look so charmed by it,” you shoot back and for a second it all feels too normal. just two friends caught in their playful banter.
⟢
ᓚᘏᗢ now.
“it’s good to see you,” he says, a little quieter now, smirk fading just slightly. you falter at that but instead of running, instead of deflecting, you hold his gaze.
“so,” you say, attempting a half-smile, “do you come here often, mark?”
he chuckles but the sound fades quickly. the amusement doesn’t last in his eyes. you were doing it again. masking your feelings behind a joke. trying to find an out. trying to stall the inevitable — and he stopped playing this game a long time ago. has stopped holding back.
“you didn’t call.”
your smile drops, “mark–,”
“that night,” he cuts in softly, but there’s something raw under his voice now, “i woke up and you were gone.”
the kitchen feels smaller. the party noise beyond the door fades to a muffled hum.
“i didn’t know what to say,” you murmur, voice almost lost under the thump of bass in the other room.
“you didn’t have to say anything,” he says, “i just wanted you to stay.”
you look away but mark steps forward. not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him.
“i kept checking my phone,” he goes on, “every morning when i wake up, every night before i go to bed. i watched you read my messages and i thought maybe you just needed time.”
“—i waited,” he continues, voice shaking now, “i left food by your door, i didn’t even care if you didn’t text back, i just wanted you to know i’m still here.”
you press your lips together, holding everything in.
“i didn’t want that night to end,” he goes on, quieter now, “and maybe i was stupid for thinking you felt the same way but–”
he breathes in, eyes locking onto yours. you try to tell him to stop but your voice betrays you. and mark could no longer hold back the words he’s been wanting to say.
“i fell in love with you.”
your heart stutters. that one phrase making you want to run.
“and i’m still in love with you,” he finishes, like a final breath. like he’s cutting himself open and bleeding honesty, the words slamming into your chest.
“we only had two rules, mark,” you managed to whisper, voice quiet and broken.
mark takes a shaky step closer, heart in his throat, “tell me you don’t feel it then,” he said quietly. his voice wasn’t angry, just tired, broken, desperate.
“look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me…that you don’t feel anything when i look at you like this and i’ll stop. i’ll leave you alone.”
you freeze. you didn’t answer right away. because you did feel it — you felt it in your chest, in your stomach, in the way the world always seemed to go a little quieter when he was around. you feel it in the ache that never went away after that night. you feel it in the way he says your name like it’s something holy. but that truth was too dangerous. too real.
so you hardened your voice, you shove it so far down you almost believe the lie yourself.
“i don’t feel it.”
you looked him dead in the eye, even though it nearly broke you. mark’s face falls but you don’t stop there. you lift your chin, meeting his gaze and finally twisting the knife in both of you.
“i don’t love you.”
his face didn’t crumble. didn’t twist in pain. he just stilled – silent, hollow stillness. the words knocking the breath from his lungs in one brutal blow. his eyes search your face like he’s trying to find a hole in your armor – something to tell him you don’t mean it.
you walked away, leaving him in the kitchen and disappearing into the crowd before he can see the way your hand trembles. before he can see the way your heart is breaking too. every step away from him felt heavier than the last. your throat felt like it was strangling your heartbeat. every breath scraped your ribs like regret trying to crawl out of your chest.
you told yourself not to look back. not to care. this is for the better. he deserves someone better. someone who knew what they wanted. someone who can give him the love he has to give without flinching.
you did the right thing. for the both of you.
you ignore your friend’s calls. focused only on trying to get as far away from this place as possible. and yet, as you passed through the living room, something ridiculous stopped you cold — someone was messing with a money gun. dozens of dollar bills floating all around you, spinning through the air like confetti in slow motion. you scoffed before you could stop yourself, bitter and breathless at the irony.
you pushed forward anyway, trying to control your tears, making your way through the bodies and out into the front lawn. you manage to make it a couple feet away.
but then…fingers, warm and gentle, wrapped around your wrist, turning you towards his tear-filled eyes as he caught up to you, breathless.
“what are you so afraid of?” mark asked, eyes wide, wild with a mixture of hope and desperation.
“what is it that terrifies you so much you’d rather lie to my face than admit what we have?”
his words cracked something open inside you. that was it. the last of your resolve breaking apart. your defenses collapsed.
“you, mark!,” your voice broke, full of too many emotions you could no longer control, “i’m afraid of you!”
he blinked, startled. you didn’t let the silence catch up.
“i’m afraid of what you make me feel,” you said, voice unraveling.
“i’m afraid because i’m in love with you too. and i don’t want to be!”
the tears came fast and hot but you no longer cared about the strong front you’ve been trying to keep up.
“—because the last time i fell in love, it destroyed me. i gave everything to someone who promised they’d stay and they left. and i had to build myself back up from nothing and i swore i’d never let myself feel like that again.”
mark took a slow step closer. like he was approaching something sacred.
“i don’t want to become her again,” you choked out, “the girl who wakes up wondering if today is the day everything falls apart. the one who clings too tightly. the one who ruins everything because she wants too much.”
“you’re not her anymore,” he said softly, like he was holding your heart in his hands., “you’re stronger now. you know who you are. and if things fall apart,” his voice cracked, his own tears falling, “i’ll still be there, i’m not going to leave you.”
you shook your head, tears falling freely, “you don't know that! what if i mess it up? what if i’m too much?”
“then i’ll stay anyway,” he said, voice trembling with conviction, “i’ll stay and remind you every single time that you're not too much. that you’re worth loving.”
you looked up at him, ready to break again but his words make you freeze, “and i’m scared too.”
mark swallowed hard.
“i’ve never been in love before,” he said. “not like this. not even close and i don’t know what i’m doing. i’m scared i’ll say the wrong thing. that i’ll mess this up. that i’ll love you too much or not enough or in the wrong way”
he let out a shaky breath, gaze locked on yours.
“but i’m willing to learn. i'm willing to fall. because i'm scared of losing you the most and i’d rather be scared with you than go my whole life without you in it…without trying.”
his eyes bored into yours, wide and unguarded, filled with that same fear you’d been carrying. you realized then that you weren't so different. just two souls wanting to love and be loved, both terrified of what it might cost.
and if he was brave enough to jump, you weren’t going to let him fall alone — with that, the last wall inside you crumbled and you reached for him.
mark pulls you into his arms like he’d been waiting for this moment all his life. there, under the stars and distant music, you clung to him, allowing yourself to want him. your chest heaved against his, tears soaking into his t-shirt. and still, he held you tighter.
“i’m sorry,” you whispered, voice hoarse, “i’m just…i’m so scared.”
“i know,” he murmured back, “it’s okay. i’m here.”
he rocked you gently like your pain had a rhythm only he understood. he didn’t know what else to do but hold you.
eventually your tears slowed. your breathing evened out. your fingers loosened from their desperate grip. you stayed in his arms a moment longer, heart pressed into his chest. committing it to memory like it was a song you never wanted to forget.
then you pull back, just enough to look up at him. your lashes were damp, eyes still glassy, “i meant it,” you said, barely above a whisper, “i love you.”
his eyes searched yours, not for doubt, but for the truth. and when he found it, unguarded, soft, scared, real, his hold on your waist tightens just a tiny bit like he couldn’t believe this was real and not something he’d dreamed up in all the nights he spent missing you.
mark leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to pull away. you don’t. his lips brushed yours, featherlight at first, then deeper, steadier, like exhaling after holding his breath for years. you kissed him back like it was the only thing you knew how to do — your heart had spent so long trying to run away from this very feeling and now it was collapsing into it with both arms wide open.
no more running. just you and him and the promise of something real. not something that had an expiration date marked by final exams and end of sessions.
he smiled against your lips. you pulled away, the smallest, tearful laugh catching in your throat.
“so…what do we do now?,” you asked, a teasing smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, though your voice was still soft. still fragile from everything it had admitted. and your eyes only had room for his reflection.
mark raised a hand, thumb gently brushing a tear from your cheek, “well,” he said, his voice low and full of warmth, “i would love to take you out on a date.”
and this time, when you smiled…it felt like the beginning.
ᓚᘏᗢ the next day.
mark knocks at your door at exactly 6:00P.M. a little more dressed up than usual, his face freshly shaved, hair styled perfectly, a bouquet of white roses behind his back.
you open the door and his breath catches. the red dress you're wearing stops just above your knees, hugging your curves in all the right places. its bold and subtle all at once, elegant neckline, bare shoulders.
you see the shift in his expression instantly, eyes widening, lips parting slightly.
“kitten,” he breathes out, recovering just enough to let a smirk tug on his lips “are you trying to cancel our date?”
your brows furrow in amusement, “what?”
he lets out a soft laugh, eyes still tracing the length of you. “how do you expect me to not want to have my hands all over you until this is off?” he says, a hand wrapping around your waist, pulling you gently against him, already losing his inner battle.
a playful smirk appears on your lips, “hey, buy a girl dinner first,” you say, pressing your palm to his chest to push him back, just a little.
he chuckles, deep and warm, eyes twinkling as he finally brings the bouquet around “for you, kitten.”
you take the flowers with a soft, surprised smile “these are beautiful mark, thank you,” you say quietly, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his lips, just a quick one, before slipping back into your apartment. he stays at the door, watching as you make yourself into the kitchen, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. you rummage through your drawers for the vase you rarely use, dusting it off before filling it with water. carefully, you begin arranging the flowers on your coffee table. mark steps inside, closing the door behind him. his arms wrapping around your waist in a back hug.
“you ready?,” he murmurs, a kiss brushing the curve where your neck meets your shoulder.
“mhm,” you smile, reaching down to pat his hand before lacing your fingers with his. his grip is warm, sure. he leads you to the door, locking it behind you as you both step out of your apartment.
“this is kinda weird,” he chuckles as you walk towards his car.
“what? holding my hand,” you say, about to pull your hand away only for his grip to tighten.
“i didn’t say it was bad,” he says quickly, pulling you closer, “i’ve just never held hands with my girlfriend before.”
you chuckle, some things never change.
“oh, i didn’t know i was your girlfriend now?,” you smirk, teasing, a brow raising.
his smile instantly drops, “please say sike,” he mutters, suddenly serious. you burst into laughter and the tension in his shoulder melts. he watches you in awe, like your laugh could break every bone in his body and he’d still ask to hear it again. a smile taking over his features.
“sike,” you say sweetly just as he pokes your side, making you jump. he opens the passenger door for you with a smug look and you slide inside, cheeks warm, heart racing.
mark planned the most romantic, classic first date imaginable. like something ripped right out of a movie montage. candlelight dinner, soft jazz humming in the background and a corner table in a quiet, upscale restaurant where the lighting was dim and golden, casting everything in a dreamy glow. the flicker of the candle between you danced in his eyes, making him look warmer, softer than usual. the low murmur of other diners fading into the background. he pulled out your chair for you like a real gentleman. you ordered your food, sat across from each other, feet brushing beneath the table, half accidental, half deliberated. it was playful and sweet. he smiled every time it happened like he was trying to make you blush without saying a word. and it worked — you couldn’t remember the last time a date felt this intentional, this thoughtfully put together. like someone had wanted to impress you.
“wow, you really did your research, huh?,” you tease him, eyebrows raised, an amused smirk tugging at your lips.
“only the best for my girl,” he winks. you rolled your eyes at the line but the flutter in your chest betrayed you.
the food arrived and for a while you just existed in the moment. complimenting the dishes, laughing about how his plate looked fancier but yours tasted better. he slid a perfectly sliced piece of steak onto your plate without you asking and you absentmindedly twirled a forkful of pasta and held it out to him like it was second nature. like it was something you’ve been doing for years.
then halfway through the meal, mark leans in a little. his elbow resting on the table, chin in hand like he couldn’t help but watch you.
“i don’t know enough about you,” he says suddenly.
you looked up, caught mid-chew and more caught off-guard, “you’ve literally seen me naked, i think you’re doing fine.”
mark laughed — that warm, boyish sound that always cracked you open a little more than you liked to admit. he leaned back slightly, shaking his head, “yeah but i mean know you. like the little things. the stuff people forget to ask but matters more than they think.”
you blinked, slowly setting your fork down, “ok…what do you want to know?”
he lights up like a kid on christmas day, “what’s your favorite color?”
“really, mark?” you laughed, because of all the things he could’ve asked, it was a question as simple as that.
“hey! it’s important especially since i want to buy you gifts,” he shrugs, taking a bite out of his (your) pasta.
you rolled your eyes, smiling anyway “okay. pink.”
mark blinked, surprised. he never would’ve guessed. “pink?”
“mhm,” you said, spearing a bite of the salad in between you, “not like neon pink though but soft pink.”
“didn’t see that coming,” he said grinning. “but it kinda fits…you act all tough but you’re secretly a softie.”
you narrowed your eyes, “careful.”
“just saying,” he chuckled, reaching for his drink.
“alright,” you said, pointing your fork at him, “your turn, favorite color?”
“blue.”
you tilted your head, chewing thoughtfully, a playful grin on your face, “blue because it’s the color of the sky?”
he grinned, “that was the reason…at first,” he said, voice softening, “then you walked up to me, wearing a soft blue sundress during freshman year and the reason changed.”
your fork froze halfway to your mouth. for a second, the air felt heavier, quieter, like the words had rearranged the molecules around you. your eyes widen a little, lips parting as your expression falters between surprise and amusement.
“you remembered what i was wearing?,” you ask in pure disbelief.
“how could i forget?,” he shrugs like he didn’t just confess something that would stay with you for the rest of your life.
“wait…are you saying you’ve had a crush on me since freshman year?,” you asked, your tone teasing.
mark rolled his eyes, but he was still grinning, “i may have had a tiny crush on you back then,” he admits. the smile on your face growing with every second.
the rest of your evening unfolded like a dream you didn’t want to wake from. full of quiet laughter, sharing of favorites and the reason behind them. every answer was like turning a page, revealing another layer neither of you had taken time to read before. between conversation, his hand would find yours, fingers lacing together like they belonged there. he’d brush your knuckles with his thumb, every movement gentle, deliberate. and every now and then, he’d lean over and kiss you. soft, unhurried kisses that made your skin hum and your stomach flip.
by the time you slid back into his car, the air between you was warm and charged, not with tension but with something more open, more vulnerable. he let you have the aux, learning your favorite songs on the ride back. both of you singing along, sometimes out of tune, sometimes laughing too hard. his hand was in yours the whole drive home. you kissed at stop lights. playful pecks that turned into lingering moments. the city moved around you, but you both felt disconnected. stuck in your own world with a population of two.
when he finally pulled up to your place, you were still laughing about something stupid he’d said. and then it got quiet. the kind of the quiet that meant something more. mark walked you to your door, hand still wrapped around yours like he couldn’t let go.
“tonight was really fun,” you said softly , your arm looped around his neck, fingers playing absentmindedly with his hair.
“yeah?,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss your temple, lingering there for a beat, “would you say i’m you know…boyfriend material?,” he teased, smirking against your skin.
you huffed a laugh, playfully nudging him with your shoulder, “that was so bad.”
he tilts his head to look at your properly, the mischief fading into something gentler, more sincere, “i had the best time.”
you met his gaze, leaning up to kiss him – slow and sweet. his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss for a heartbeat before you pulled back, breathless but smiling.
“goodnight, mark,” you whispered, not quite ready for the night to end.
“goodnight kitten,” he said just as softly.
you slipped inside, the door clicking shut behind you. but your skin still buzzed with his touch, lips still tingling with the memory of his kiss. you leaned against the door, eyes closed, heart racing as the entire night replays in your mind.
outside, mark stares at your door, already missing your presence. he started to bring his fist up for a knock, but then the door opened. again.
he blinked, startled.
you were standing there, eyes already locked on his. you didn’t say a word. neither did he.
because in the next second, he crossed the threshold and kissed you – hard, fast and real. all the restraint of the evening gave way to need. he kicked the door shut behind him, hand blindly finding the lock as his other arm wound around your waist.
you make the familiar steps to your bedroom, lips never leaving his, a quiet gasp escaping you when he lifted you slightly, walking you backward until your knees hit the bed.
and when you made love, it wasn’t rushed or desperate. it was slow, tender. his hands memorized you all over again. his lips marked every inch of your skin. you whispered his name like it meant something new now. he held you like he never wanted to stop.
the morning came and you were still there, wrapped tightly around his arms. body molded perfectly against his like you were always meant to fit there. fingers interlaced like your hands had made a silent promise sometime in the night to never part. mark could see the pink and purple marks blooming where his lips and hands had wandered. he watched the gentle rise and fall of your chest — you looked peaceful, like all the weight you usually carried had melted away in the dark, if only for a little while. and in that quiet moment, with the world still hushed around you, he knows that it’s all worth it.
and if he had to do it all over again – the mistakes, the heartache, the waiting. he would. every single time, without hesitation, if it always leads him back to this. back to you. the only thing he’s ever been sure of.
ᓚᘏᗢ
loving mark made you realize that love didn’t have to be a fantasy. it wasn’t all sunshines and rainbows and happily ever afters. but it also wasn’t terrible, screaming at each other at 3am, being left behind on the kitchen floor, crying your eyes out.
it didn’t happen overnight either. there was still fear lingering in the back of your head. but this time you don’t let it take control. this time you don’t let it overpower.
because love with mark is staying, even when you were scared. especially when you were scared. it was comfort and safety. the kind that wrapped around your heart and told you it was okay to let your guard down. it was peace. the kind that didn’t demand you to be anything other than what you were. it was someone showing up at your apartment with your favorite snacks, settling in beside you on the couch while a romcom played and cramps left you curled under a blanket. no pressure to talk. just presence. it’s laughing at terrible jokes until your stomach hurt. arguing about which spiderman was the best. agreeing to disagree, even if you were clearly right. it was fighting over which greasy takeout to get and pretending to be annoyed when he ordered your favorite anyway. it was celebrating the happy moments, the sad moments and everything in between. it’s sticking around when things got hard. still choosing each other when the weight of the world made everything feel heavy. it was learning each other and unlearning old patterns. being patient. building something new, one honest conversation at a time. it was asking, “do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” it was hearing the answer and respecting it.
it wasn’t about fixing each other or needing someone to fill a space inside you. it was about wanting to be there. it was about choosing to stay again and again and again.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: mark x kitten coded -> video one, video two, video three
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an: and 3/7 is done! i hit the 1000 text block limit thing on here and it was awful. it’s not my fault they’re both yappers and i write way too much when mark is involved! i hope i was still able to convey the tension and longing in those long ass paragraphs >.< …. anyways, this was supposed to end the moment she walked away but i couldn’t do it! i had to give mark a happy ending, he deserves it!. kitten was so hard to write like why am i writing a character with past trauma and real, raw, emotions that are hitting too close to home… this is supposed to be a fun, silly rom-com. but i hope you liked her! i hope you liked them. thank you for reading! <3
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pairing: childhood best friend! lee jeno x nerd! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 23k+
synopsis -> you and lee jeno go way back, as in diapers and all that. before he was known as the chill fuckboy, he was an all time nerd! just like you! tired of being a loser who can’t even get the guy you wanted, you badly needed tips and a makeover. who’s better to ask for help than your childhood best friend, who has proven that a nerd can be hot?
warnings -> guaranteed giddiness! pet name unlocked: bunny, two dumb idiots, jeno is a yearner!!!, slow burn? kinda but once it starts, it starts, mentions of: car crash, a deceased parent, too many side characters from other groups, +18, crude language, mentions of fuck-boys, parties, drinking, a fight between the boys, blood, a nasty cut, heavy on the smut! reader is a virgin, lots of fingering, oral (m+f), handjob, blowjob, mention of mutual masturbation, corruption kink, pop the cherry!, soft sex, exhibitionism, jeno is a dirty dirty boy with lots of dirty thoughts and a dirty mouth.
an -> the second installment of the loverboy series is yours! this one literally just flowed through me, i could not stop writing, squealing and giggling at this trope. i’m dreading leaving them behind. you do not need to read stupid cupid to understand this story but here are some important things to take note of: 1) jeno is the chill fuckboy, he does not like the whole hopping to one girl to another thing so he gets into a lot of meaningless situationships with girls he does not care about 2) jaemin is currently the only happily taken member of the dream fraternity, he calls his gf: angel. k, have fun reading, with love, c!
the library buzzed with the soft hum of university life filled with quiet chatter, the occasional laugh and the rustling of pages. there were small groups of friends in heated discussions, catching up on life or laughing over a joke. some were hunched over textbooks, deep in concentration, others were lost in their books, barely blinking, while a few had surrendered to sleep, heads resting on their arms. and, tucked away in the back, were the ones who thought they were subtle – furtive glances, sneaky touches, stolen kisses.
there was a place for everyone in the library and it was your favorite place in the entire world.
but right now, as you watch your long-time crush, third year business major, the soccer team’s mvp, jung sungchan, stick his tongue down a random girl’s throat, you can’t help but feel like your safe haven has been tainted.
the grip you had on your pencil tightens as your eyebrows furrowed at the scene that played out, jealousy taking over your features. out of all the places on campus, he had to choose your spot. you have half the mind to report to the librarian. you were already classified as the school’s nerd, why not add snitch to your dictionary?
“what’s that look on your face?,” your best friend’s voice pulled you back to earth, playful, as he plopped down on the seat next to you.
jeno has been fated to be your best friend way before you were even born. with your dad’s being the best of friends, it was written in the stars, whether you liked it or not.
but you liked it, and so did he.
if it wasn’t for jeno, you might have ended up a complete social outcast. thanks to his status and the fact that you were always seen together, people decided you were tolerably weird. you weren’t nose-picking weird or talking to yourself in the hallways weird, just…a little awkward.
and if it wasn’t for you, jeno probably wouldn't have made it into university to begin with. you tutored him in almost every class, every time he struggled with anything school related, he ran to you, from elementary school to university, you were practically his teacher.
they say university is supposed to be the place where you let go of your childhood self and finally grow up. yet here you are now, a third year student and you still haven't quite grown into the lady you were supposed to be. trends went over your head, fashion didn’t interest you and makeup was harder than your architect class. half your wardrobe was made up of high school leftovers, you were still sporting bangs that you had from middle school and you never really saw the point in “fixing yourself up.”
at least, one of you did — jeno somehow made his way into the dream fraternity and somehow earned the title the chill fuckboy. it was odd, seeing people start treating him differently. even odder when you started to see girl’s eyes follow him like he was some kind of lead in a main k-drama and then land on you with a confused gaze. like they couldn’t understand why he was friends with someone like you.
“nothing,” you say quickly, finally tearing your eyes away from sungchan and forcing your attention on the assignment in front of you.
jeno, not satisfied with your answer, followed your earlier gaze, a light chuckle slipping past his lips, “aww, does my little bunny wunny have a crush?,” he cooed, reaching over to pinch your cheek, his trademark eye smile on display.
bunny was the nickname he had given you when you both were eight years old. in some twisted doom, like you were always going to be life’s punching bag, all your baby teeth fell out at the same time, leaving only the two front teeth behind. these days, he throws in a ridiculous wunny at the end just to piss you off.
“shut up jeno,” you scowl, swatting his hand away and adjusting your glasses back into place.
he chuckles, unfazed, before pulling out his own assignments and settling in beside you. a comfortable silence draping over the two of you, easy and familiar.
but your mind was still reeling. you wanted, so badly, to be the girl who was kissing sungchan instead of the nerd he only acknowledged when he needed answers for a test. you wanted to hold his hand, to walk around campus with him, to be the one sitting in the back of the library.
you wanted to be the girl that people wanted to be.
your gaze drifts to your best friend. jeno hadn’t always been this effortlessly put-together, with his hair perfectly styled, clothes fitting him properly, and those annoying sculpted arms that somehow always had a girl clinging to them.
you’re reminded of a different version of him – the times when you had matching glasses, his head way too big for his body, the endless rotation of naruto and pokemon t-shirts he always had on and the way he would stutter every time a pretty girl would even look at his direction.
if he could grow into the handsome, confident man he is now, why couldn’t you?
and then, just like that, a lightbulb flickers on.
“...neno,” you call out to him, sweetly.
jeno eyes you with immediate suspicion, you only use that nickname when you want something from him, “what?,” he asks, an eyebrow raised.
“we’re best friends, right?,” you ask, innocently blinking up at him.
“is the sky blue???,” he shoots back, voice dripping with playful sarcasm. you ignore it, too caught up in the plan buzzing in your head.
“so, as my best friend, you’d do anything for me, right?,” you press, excitement coursing through.
he narrows his eyes, “that depends on what you’re about to ask from me,” he says, looking at you with a mixture of suspicion and mild horror.
“make me hot,” you say, dead serious.
jeno chokes on absolutely nothing, eyes going wide as the words hit him, “what?!.” he hisses, half-whisper, half-scream, as if you just confessed to a felony. a few heads turned your way and you can’t help but blush under the sudden attention.
“you’re so dramatic!,” you whisper, shrinking behind your books. all your previous confidence, going down the drain as you finally realized what you just asked him to do.
jeno charmingly waves, muttering his apologies until the curious stares faded and the library’s usual hush returned.
“y/n,” he said, suddenly serious, gaze locked on you, “what do you mean by ‘make you hot’?” his entire focus on you.
you sigh, heat crawling up your neck, “nevermind, jeno, it’s nothing,” you say, grabbing the nearest book, hoping to bury this conversation along with your pride.
before you could turn a page, jeno snatches it away from you, “hey, no secrets between us remember,” he said, gently but firmly.
you stared at the table, lips pressed into a thin line, weighing the embarrassment against the aching truth in your chest, “i just meant…help me be desirable, i’m tired of being a nerd, jeno. i just want someone to look at me and think i’m pretty,” you admit, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
“i think you’re pretty, bunny,” he says quietly.
you groaned, immediately burying your face in your hands. this was too embarrassing. you felt like you were fishing for compliments.
“ugh, you’re only saying that because you’re my best friend and our dads will literally kill you if you don’t,” you say, voice muffled by the table below you.
jeno chuckles lightly beside you, “i’m not just saying that.”
you sit back up slowly, looking him dead in the eye, “jeno, i’ve never been asked out, never held hands with someone, hell, i’ve never even kissed anyone,” you reason, head plopping back into your chair.
“—that’s not true!, you’ve kissed me,” he points out earning an eye roll from you.
“jeno we were 14 and i kissed you like how i would kiss my mom,” you say, “it doesn’t count,” you shut your eyes, silently begging the universe to erase this entire moment from existence.
but your words lingered in jeno’s head – the quiet desperation in your voice, the way your eyes had pleaded without meaning to and before he could even think twice, his mouth moved on its own.
“i’ll see what i can do,” he said. your eyes flew open, locking onto his with a sparkle that transferred over to his own.
“thank you, neno,” you grinned, ruffling his hair with a smirk, excitement bubbling through you.
he groaned in protest, batting your hands away but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.
a second later, his phone flashes on his side. one glance at the screen and he was already gathering his things, “gotta go, lia texted,” he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
you nodded, smiling up at him, “have fun, don’t get pregnant,” you teased.
he chuckled, messing your hair up on his way out, “no promises,” he winked, making your face scrunch up in disgust. the image of your best friend having sex was not appealing at all.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
after spending a couple of hours buried in his current situationship’s legs, jeno finally made his way back to the dream house.
the conversation you had in the library constantly playing in his mind as he quickly barges into jaemin’s room, “dude-i oh…sorry!,” his eyes widen, apologizing as he redirects his stare at the ceiling, but doesn’t make an effort to leave.
jaemin scrambles to wrap the blanket around his girlfriend, who is currently face down, ass up with his dick still inside her, “dude!, get out!?,” he yells furiously, throwing a pillow at him.
“i need to ask you something,” jeno says, making jaemin groan, “can you ask me later?, im busy,” he grunts, his girlfriend still clenching tightly around him.
“oh…yeah, sorry…hi angel,” jeno mutters out, a playful smile on his lips before leaving and locking the door behind him, hearing an embarrassed, muffled, “hi jeno,” from jaemin’s girlfriend, on his way out.
“learn to lock the door!,” he laughed from the other side, the sound of skin slapping resuming as he made his way down the living room.
for the past few hours, your words had been playing on a loop in his head. he wasn’t sure where to start or how to go about helping you. not because he didn’t want to but because he’d never realized you needed that kind of help.
sure, he noticed that there were never any boys around, other than him, but he thought you preferred it that way. always scowling in disgust when a guy tries to get near you or even breathe the same air as you.
and besides the fact that he wanted to repay you for always helping him without asking for anything in return, he’d always thought you were pretty.
when you were six, with a scraped knee, and tear streaked cheeks after falling as you chased after his hamster who escaped - pretty.
when you were eight, missing all your teeth except the two in the front, food always ending up smeared all over your face - pretty.
when you were eleven, threatening all his bullies to stay away from him or you would call your dad - pretty.
when you were fourteen and you kissed him because you were curious why your parents were always kissing - so pretty.
when you were fifteen, drowning in a pink puffy dress that ate you up whole - ridiculous, but pretty.
when you were sixteen, at your mom’s funeral, crying on his shoulder, not allowing anyone else near you but him - hauntingly pretty.
when you were eighteen and you both had gotten your acceptance letters for university, excitedly jumping around together - pretty.
when you were twenty and crashed his car because you thought there was a dog on the road, only for it to be the shadow of the tree you crashed into - annoying, but still so damn pretty.
as your best friend, he wants you to see yourself the way he saw you.
if this was what it took to help you finally claim your confidence, then he’d do whatever it takes to make sure it worked. whether or not this was about impressing that boy you liked, he didn’t care. he just wanted to help you feel more sure of yourself.
an hour passed before jaemin finally joined him in the living room, immediately punching him in the arm, “learn to knock,” he huffs out before sitting next to his friend.
jeno chuckles, rubbing his arm, “i didn’t see anything, promise,” he turns to his friend, “you better not have or i’ll literally scoop your eyes out and feed it to you,” his friend grunts making him scrunch up in disgust.
“that’s disgusting,” jeno comments, the mental image making both of them squirm before bursting out into laughter.
“so what did you need?,” jaemin asks as soon as their laughter dies down.
“i actually need your girlfriend’s help,” he smiles sheepishly, piquing the other boy’s curiosity.
“with what?,” jaemin asks.
“with y/n,” jeno says before jaemin nods, getting up to get his girlfriend out of his room and into the living room. the rest of the boys knew who you were, of course, and as jeno had requested, they all looked out for you.
jaemin’s girlfriend listens intently at the plan jeno had - a makeover. he knew he needed a girl’s touch since he didn’t really know anything about the work that girls put into themselves to make them look ‘hot’.
he could argue he thought they just came that way. just like how you have always been pretty.
“well, im kind of done with all of that makeover and stuff,” she briefly smiles at her boyfriend, “but i do know the perfect girl,” shes says smiling, as jeno notes down the girls’ name, paying her a visit.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
two days later, jeno came prepared. plopping down in his usual seat in the library, right next to you, armed with a notepad that was opened to the page:
operation bunny’s glow-up
step 1: the makeover
step 2: closet cleanse and wardrobe upgrade
step 3: posture, confidence and flirting 101
step 4: bunny’s party reveal
you blinked at the notebook in front of you, registering the words written in jeno’s extremely neat handwriting, “what is this?”
“this,” he said, tapping the page, “is how i'm going to help you,” jeno explains.
there were too many steps and you’re suddenly so very aware how ridiculous this actually was, “can we just magically skip to step four where i’m already pretty and perfect and partying?,” you sigh, already feeling exhausted.
jeno almost wants to scold you for thinking you weren’t already pretty and perfect but remembered this is why he was doing this in the first place. to make sure you know you were pretty and perfect.
instead he says, “nope, this is a full process. you asked for my help and that’s what you’re getting, no backing out and definitely no easy way out.”
the sternness in his voice made you realize how serious he was about this. “you’re really gonna do all this for me, neno?,” you ask, a hint of gratitude shining in your eyes.
“of course i am, that’s what best friends are for,” he shrugs, ruffling your hair once again.
which is how you ended up here, seated in a salon chair with the girl you met just a couple minutes ago, your best friend leaving you all by your awkward self with no other than — giselle, third year cosmetology major and one of the school’s hottest girls.
her preppy personality was overwhelming, confidence radiating off her like perfume. you had no idea how to interact with her, no clue how any girl could be so aware of her beauty and completely own it the way she did.
it’s almost unfair how nice she was too. hot, popular girls were supposed to be mean, rude, intolerable. that’s how they’re portrayed in every teen movie you’ve seen. but giselle is kind, easygoing, talked to you like you weren't several social status’ below her in the pyramid you’ve made up.
“alright, so we’re gonna make sure your hair frames for your face perfectly and get rid of all your split ends,” she explains, hands already in motion as she fluffs your hair out, moving it around, parting it here and there to visualize what looks best on you.
once she figured it out, she let out a satisfied hum and got to work. the scissors glide gracefully, almost like they were an extension of her fingers and you can’t help but be mesmerized.
“so, how did you and jeno meet?,” she asks, casually starting the conversation as her hands continue to move through your hair.
“uhm, our parents are best friends,” you mumble, trying not to sound as stiff as you feel.
“ooh, that’s fun!,” she comments and you’re not entirely sure if she means it or if she’s just trying to be polite. either way, you appreciate her effort.
“and you’ve never had a crush on him?,” she adds, eyebrows raised. the shock on your face is evident, the very idea of having a crush on your best friend making your stomach twist.
“uhh no, i’ve never seen him that way,” you reply, a shudder slipping down your spine.
giselle laughs, clearly amused, “i see,” she hums, “your best friend is hot though, you know?,” you smile up at her, nodding, blush creeping up your cheeks.
of course you knew people considered jeno hot but you’re not entirely sure you agree with that statement.
he was the same boy who was crying to you because his hamster escaped, the same boy who got his braces stuck in your sweater, the same boy who ran away when you kissed him, the same boy who almost cried when your acceptance letter came in the mail first, his nowhere to be seen until a week later – your best friend was cute, the same way a puppy was cute.
“soo, who do you think is hot?,” she asks, playful curiosity dancing in her eyes.
is this what girl talk is?
“uhmm,” you shy away under her friendly gaze. you’ve never really had anyone to talk to about boys. with your mom passing away at an early age and all your girlfriends more interested in their anime crushes than real ones, this kind of conversation feels like uncharted territory.
“don’t worry, i'm really good at keeping secrets,” she says, urging you to go on. there’s something about her aura that you trust. and you knew that if jeno didn’t trust her, he wouldn’t have left you alone with her in the first place. so for the first time in your life, you indulge in girl talk.
“i think umm…i think sungchan is hot,” you mutter, shy, eyes immediately darting to the floor.
she gasps, an exaggerated, delighted sound, “i totally agree” she says giggling, “you have great taste,” she giggles. then, leaning in with excitement, she whispers, “i’m gonna make sure sungchan falls in love with you.”
you glance at her reflection in the mirror and despite yourself, a smile appears on your face, giddy and a little disbelieving.
“and…we’re done with your hair!,” she announces, your focus darting at your own reflection. your eyes widen slightly. she made your hair look like what you would see in the magazines – sleek, soft, effortlessly perfect.
the change in your appearance already reflecting back at you.
“this is just the beginning,” she whispers again, a friendly smile displayed on her lips.
she gently reclines the chair you were sitting on then tilts your chin up with practiced fingers, her eyes scanning your face with focused curiosity as she takes your glasses off, “hmm, okay,” she murmurs, turning your face side to side. you can’t help but feel awkward, gaze drifting everywhere else, avoiding eye contact.
“okay…i’m just gonna clean up your brows, and wax a little peach fuzz if that’s okay?,” she asks, voice light and reassuring. you nod, unsure what all that means but trusting her anyway.
giselle gets to work immediately, a new tool in her hand, and wax paper placed on your upper lip and in just twenty minutes, she steps back, satisfied.
your face looks softer…more defined. more you, somehow.
“you’re so pretty, y/n,” she says warmly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and we barely did anything.”
the compliment hits you harder than you expect. pretty wasn’t a word you would ever describe yourself yet here is one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever seen calling you that. tears sting the corner of your eyes before you can blink them away.
“c’mon,” she says, voice still gentle but laced with excitement, “we’re not done, grab your stuff, we're going somewhere.”
after spending exactly thirty-two minutes in giselles car, singing along to the radio and laughing at her endless stream of chaotic stories, which you thought was something you’d never ever do, you were now at the mall. more specifically, standing in front of a waxing salon.
you shoot her a nervous glance, eyes wide with suspicion.
“i figured you’d be more comfortable with a stranger you’d never have to see again,” she says with a casual shrug, and suddenly it clicks why you’re here.
you knew what a waxing salon was, you just never thought you’d voluntarily stepped foot into one.
“this is my go-to, they get everything and it doesn’t hurt that bad,” she promises, reassuring, and you swore you look like a tomato with how much you’re blushing.
when giselle said they get everything, she meant they get everything.
even body parts that you didn’t think would have hair on them, body parts that no one else has seen but your own eyes. you almost can’t believe you were in this position right now, but giselle was right – a stranger was better for this. the only thing keeping you from bolting was the comforting knowledge that you’d never have to make eye contact with the person who was currently in between your legs again.
after an hour and several compromising positions later, you were finally done. your skin felt smoother than a baby’s, which was honestly kind of mind-blowing.
giselle was waiting for you at the reception, a bag in her hand, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw you, “okay!, so i got you a little starter kit filled with makeup, skincare and all the other essentials,” she said, practically bouncing, “let’s go back to my place and i’ll teach you how to use it!”
her excitement was infectious and you couldn’t help but smile just as wide – her bubbly energy sinking into your bones in the best way.
making your way to giselle’s bedroom, you notice how different your rooms were. while yours was covered with posters and music records from all your favorite bands, her’s was covered in magazine clippings of what you assumed are the most popular fashion trends.
while your shelves were filled with books of all genres, she had an entire shelf dedicated to makeup and skincare products. another filled with several handbags and shoes. you weren’t even aware that girls had to have that many.
“sit, my canvas,” she says, lightly teasing, pointing to the chair in front of her vanity mirror as she pulls things out of the bag she gave you.
“we’re keeping it simple, just the basics: primer, foundation, brows, blush, and lipstick of course.”
you nod like you understood anything she was saying. she caught the panic in your eyes and smiled softer this time, “don’t worry,” she said, uncapping a small bottle of primer, “i got you.”
she talked you through every step. primer, foundation, blending like your life depended on it. she filled in one of your brows and handed you the pencil, urging you to try it out yourself. you tried to mimic her, hand shaky, tongue slightly poking out in concentration. this was definitely harder than she made it out to be.
“you’re a natural,” she says, satisfied with your work and you can feel your confidence growing with every second you spend with her. it’s as if she was sharing the amount of confidence she had with you.
by the end of it, you stared at yourself in the mirror and barely recognized your own reflection. not because the makeup was dramatic, it wasn’t, but because you looked like someone who belonged.
like someone who chose how she wanted to be seen.
“there…you look beautiful,” giselle murmurs behind you, chin resting lightly on your shoulder, “i have one last thing for you,” she says, reaching for another bag and you’re not sure how you could ever repay her for all of this.
as if she could read your thoughts, she quickly says, “don’t worry about it, jeno paid for it”
“glasses can be hot, but the ones you have now, completely hides your face so…,” she pulls out two things, “first, i got you these silver ones, they’re smaller but they’ll sit on your face better,” she hands it to you.
you take them, fingers brushing over the smooth metal. the glasses were cute, not your usual style, but when you slipped them on and looked in the mirror, you instantly understood what she meant. they frame your features instead of swallowing them whole.
giselle pats herself on the back, clearly happy with her decision, “and if you’re feeling a little braver,” she trails off, pulling out the last item, “-contact lenses, i asked jeno for your prescription so those should be good, they’re pretty easy to put on too but just in case, i’ll message you a youtube video with step by step instructions,” she smiles at you, soft and sincere.
and you can’t hold it in anymore. her kind actions pull at your heartstrings as the dam breaks – tears sliding down your cheeks before you can stop them.
“thank you, giselle,” you say in full gratitude, voice thick with emotion.
“of course,” she whispers, her eyes matching yours as she pulls you into a hug.
“-now stop crying, okay, makeup is expensive,” she says, laughing as she wipes at her own damp lashes. you both burst into giggles, the room light again despite the weight in your heart.
and then a knock makes its way to her bedroom door, echoing throughout her room.
giselle quickly fixes your tear stained cheeks, “alright, if you ever need anything else, just let me know okay?,” she says, and you nod, thankful for her kindness.
“let's see what your best friend has to say,” she squeals as she rushes over to the door, swinging it open and revealing jeno on the other side.
you hadn’t even thought about how jeno would react or how other people would take in your new appearance. you suddenly felt extremely nervous. he was the first person who was going to see you like this — you wanted him to react well.
jeno steps into the room, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, expression casual until he sees you and suddenly he feels like every air has been knocked out of his lungs.
you have always been pretty but right now you look absolutely, breathtakingly, beautiful.
he realizes he’s been staring in silence for too long when he notices you shift in your seat, the words, “what?,” slipping from your lips, almost harsh, trying to sound casual.
he blinks a few times, gulping “n-nothing y-you just look–,”
“different?,” you complete his sentence, afraid he will start teasing you. his stare becomes more uncomfortable with every second of silence that passes.
“-r-really p-pretty,” he finally manages to say. a smile takes over your features, his compliment completely blowing away the feelings of doubt that were starting to cloud.
jeno almost wants to beat himself up for stuttering so much.
“ahh, my work here is done,” giselle beams, looking in between you with a knowing look only she knew the meaning of. she clapped like she’s the proud host of a makeover show, as she should. jeno clears his throat, immediately reminded that you both had an audience.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
a soft knock echoed at your dorm room’s door, followed by jeno’s familiar voice. when you opened it, you caught the tiny flicker in his eyes. he was still trying to get used to your new appearance. its been two days since giselle’s successful makeover and he still hasn’t fully adjusted to this version of you.
but it was time to start step two of the operation - closet cleanse and wardrobe upgrade.
“wait,” you say, squinting at him, “you’re the one that’s gonna look at my clothes?,” you say, bewildered.
what did jeno know about ladies’ fashion?
“yeah, who else would it be?,” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“i don't know, i thought you would’ve brought giselle or another one of your lady friends,” you mumbled as he casually made himself at home on your bed.
he grinned, flopping back against your pillows like he owned the place, “nope, just me, don’t worry…i know what looks good,” he says, a playful smile on his lips as you eyed him suspiciously, “and how exactly are you going to rate my clothes?,” you ask.
he shrugs, “i’ll figure it out as we go, now come on, show me what you got,” he says, making himself comfortable in your sheets.
truthfully, his rating was completely unscientific and wildly biased. he was judging your clothes based on the question: if a girl walked by in this outfit, would i say hi?
and he knows damn well that if you ever found out you were being styled based on his imaginary dream girl, you’d kick him right where the sun won't shine. so he kept that little detail to himself.
“ugh, okay,” you groaned, giving in as you started taking your clothes out of your wardrobe and holding them up for him.
jeno leaned back, arms folded behind his head, watching you with an amused glint in his eyes. he was way too comfortable in your space but then again, he always had been.
one by one you pulled clothes from your closet – the shirts you’ve had since middle school, some with funky patterns, others just straight up horrendous. pants with weird patterns and those that didn’t help accentuate your figure at all.
for once, you were thankful for being one of the lucky ones who didn’t have a roommate. no one else needed to witness this humiliation.
jeno, however, was getting the full show. he has never realized how bad your wardrobe was until now. each new item of clothing you pulled out seemed to be worse than the last. and then came the final blow.
the naruto and pokemon shirts. his oversized naruto and pokemon shirts. jeno’s jaw slacks open, like the very memory of those shirts carried his own personal trauma, “why the hell do you have those?!,” he blurted, sitting up like he’d just seen a ghost.
“your dad gave them to me when you outgrew them, i just kept them,” you shrug.
“burn it.” his voice was flat, non-negotiable.
“what?! no!, these are comfortable and i like wearing them to sleep!,” you defend, clutching the shirts like they were priceless heirlooms. jeno stares at you wide eyed, expression teetering somewhere between disgust and betrayal “you cannot let anyone see you in those,” he says, deadly serious, making you chuckle.
“stop being so dramatic, i bet if you wore these now, people would think it’s cool,” you say and jeno shakes his head furiously, like he can't even fathom the idea of ever wearing it again, “no, absolutely not, i’ve buried that version of myself. deep.”
“well, i’m not burning them!,” you declare, shoving the shirts deep into your drawer, making sure he can’t pull it out behind your back.
by the end of it you had two piles. the “i guess that’s okay” pile and the “don’t ever wear that again, that’s going straight to donation,” pile which was unfortunately about three times bigger.
“jeno, i have like no clothes left!,” you say, plopping down on the bed next to him, limbs heavy with defeat.
your room looked like it was run through by a tornado, clothes scattered in every corner.
without a word, jeno pulls you into his arms, fingers brushing your hair out of your face with an ease that only comes from years of friendship, “we’re gonna go shopping,” he murmurs against your temple, “it’s gonna be fine.”
you let yourself melt into his side with a sigh, “okay, but like…in five minutes, i’m too tired to even attempt being a hot girl right now,” he chuckles softly and you feel the sound more than you hear it, sleep tugging you under.
jeno lets his eyes flutter shut too, a small contented smile on his lips.
five minutes, she said. he’d give her ten.
ten minutes turned into three hours and you woke up with your legs tangled with the boy beside you, “neno,” you groaned, shoving him off of you, “you’re so fucking heavy,” you whine.
jeno slowly wakes up, blinking the sleep away as he sluggishly rubbed at his eyes, “fuck, what time is it?,” he says before reaching out for his phone and answering his own question.
it was only 6PM, still plenty of time to run to the mall and get you your new upgraded outfits.
and exactly thirty minutes later, jeno was dragging you around all the stores with the latest fashion trends. you didn’t even know your best friend knew these stores existed, “how do you know so much about this?” you ask him, eyeing him suspiciously.
he shot you a grin over his shoulder, “well, i do listen to every girl i talk to, you know” he points out and you’re reminded of the fact that your sweet, nerdy best friend was also one of the university’s hot, sexy, fuck-boy.
you rolled your eyes, “gross.” you still can’t believe he even has that reputation. wanting to smack yourself every time you get reminded of it. how could your glasses-wearing, braces-clad, cried-over-a-hamster best friend turn into some kind of lady killer? it didn’t feel real.
“hey, it’s called research,” he teased, “gotta keep them interested somehow.”
he grabs a shopping cart, pulling at everything he thought looked nice on the mannequins, as well as a couple of pieces of clothing that fit his previous criteria.
you follow him around like a lost child. you don’t even remember the last time you had a shopping trip and bought something for yourself. you were usually only here to buy gifts or if you’re forced to buy new underwear.
after a while of aimlessly wandering as jeno does all the work, you find yourself in the dressing room, a shopping bag filled with clothes in your arm.
now here you were, staring at your reflection in pure disbelief. the first matching outfit jeno picked out was a tiny pink skirt and an even tinier pink crop top that left your midriff exposed, “uhhm, jeno i dont know about this one,” you say from the other side of the door, nervous.
“step out, let me see,” he says, patiently sitting outside of your dressing room stall, voice relaxed, clearly unbothered.
slowly, hesitantly, your fingers hover over the lock before unlocking the door, debating on whether or not you should let him see you in this ridiculous outfit that is showing way too much skin than you’re used to. before you could completely psych yourself out, you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself before finally swinging the door wide open, revealing the outfit to him.
jeno looked up and almost choked on air.
the outfit definitely hugged your curves in all the right places, made your skin glow and your legs look longer, and god, yes, he would definitely go up to you and say hi if he saw you at a party.
but then he thinks about all the other boy’s who would also go up to you and say hi and do god knows what else and the thought almost knocks him out.
“yeah, that doesn’t look comfortable, i don't like it,” he says a half lie. you quickly agree, relieved, as you go back into the dressing room to try on your next outfit.
jeno feels hot.
the air was too thick and he wanted to dunk his head in cold water to remind himself that this was you.
he shakes the thoughts away. these are thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking about, especially with his best friend. but it was no use. because the next time you stepped out of the dressing room you were wearing a white skirt a little longer than the last one and a light blue top that covered what needed to be covered but was just enough to exude that sexiness he liked in a girl and he swore he needed to get into a bathroom. now.
“this one’s a bit better, i could actually wear this,” you comment, innocently looking at him through those silver glasses that makes your eyes pop out, a small smile on display and all he could do was nod, “yeah…t-that one’s nice,” he says, disguising his stutter under a fake cough.
you smiled, pleased with his answer, and he felt his stomach flip.
he was in so much trouble.
this torture went on for a good fifteen more outfits, tiny side comments coming from him while his sanity continues to slip just a little more. his pants feel more restricted every time you walk out dressed in the cutest outfits that looked like they were made for you.
the worst ones were the ones you liked. the ones that made your eyes twinkle in the mirror and made you smile like you were finally starting to see yourself the way he saw you – absolutely beautiful.
there’s a million f words running through his head.
why the fuck did he think this was a good idea? why the fuckity fuck didn’t he just ask giselle to add this to her makeover process? why the fuckity fuck fuck did he throw all those tiny tops and short skirts into your basket? why the flying fuckity fuck fuck fuck shit fuck are you so fucking pretty? and more importantly – what the actual fuck are you, his best friend, doing to him?
after a long three hours of internal screaming – it was finally over.
you emerged from the mall looking like you’d just won a game show, all smiles and sunshine, bubbling with excitement, happy with the outfits your best friend picked out for you while jeno trudged behind you, hauling ten full shopping bags, half amused, half in pain.
he drove in near silence as you yapped on and on about your makeover with giselle, every detail you hadn’t had the chance to spill yet now tumbling out all at once.
in the middle of your yapping session, you noticed the boy wasn’t as active as he usually was, no silly side comments, no teasing remarks.
“neno..,” you sweetly called out to him and jeno nearly swerved.
god, the things that nickname did to him.
“you okay?,” you asked, eyes flicking over to him.
“yeah bunny, just tired,” he said with a small smile, trying to play it cool.
“that was a lot of shopping for a guy, y’know?” he glanced at you quickly, then back to the road, “keep going, tell me more about your day with giselle,” he says.
you eyed him for a second longer, as if trying to read him, then picked up right where you left off.
he dropped you off and made sure you were safely in your room. before he could leave you surprised him by reaching out and pulling him into a hug. with your arm tight around his waist, face pressed against his chest, you let out a soft sigh, “thank you, neno, sorry for taking up so much of your time.”
jeno chuckles, gently smoothing your hair down with one hand, hoping you don’t realize how fast his heart was beating, “you can never take too much of my time, bunny, you know that” he says, reassuring you.
you look up at him, with that sweet, grateful smile that’s currently driving him crazy, “you’re the best best friend in the entire world,” you say, before leaning up and pressing a sweet, innocent kiss to his cheek.
jeno should’ve been used to it.
you’ve been kissing his cheek ever since you were five years old and playing in the mud together. he argues today just wasn’t his day.
maybe it was the outfit? maybe it was the soft curve of your smile? or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t had sex in so long (two days) it was affecting his logic?
whatever it was, that little peck nearly sent him spiraling.
“go and rest,” you said, pushing him towards your door and out of your dorm room, “thanks for shopping with me,” you ended the night with a lopsided grin before shutting your door as he finally made his way out.
he didn’t go home right away. instead he found himself at lia’s place, hands roaming and mind elsewhere, trying to exorcise whatever the hell was clawing at him from the inside out.
he kissed her like he meant it, touched her like he was desperate – because he was. so, so desperate for release. he fucked the shit out of her, releasing all his sexual urges as he guiltily pictured you in those tight, revealing outfits.
pictured you smiling up at him having absolutely no idea the effect you left behind. pictured your sweet voice calling him that nickname you gave him when you were fourteen before you stole his first kiss.
and when he finally finished, breathless and sweaty, staring up at the ceiling of a room that wasn’t his, next to a girl he barely knew, all could think about was: what the actual fuck is wrong with me?
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
the easy part of this transformation was over — the shopping spree, the haircut, the subtle change of your appearance had all been external.
you could already feel the power your new look gave you. for the first time in your life, you realized that pretty privilege wasn’t just some exaggerated social theory. it was real. you felt it in the smallest gestures.
on your way to the library, retracing steps you’ve taken hundreds of times before, everything felt a little different. the way people intently held the door open for you, even if you were still several steps away. the way they’d immediately made space for you in the elevator. and the way someone had already rushed to help you grab a book from the top shelf – you used to have to drag the ladder with you just to get it before.
however, just because life became a tad bit easier, doesn’t mean you felt comfortable.
what had once been comfort in invisibility was now replaced with the pressure of being seen. you weren’t used to the lingering glances or the compliments or the catcalls — it made your skin crawl, making you want to hide under the table until everyone leaves.
when jeno finally walked into the library, his eyes landed on you immediately. you wore a soft white top with jeans that finally hugged your frame and a light blue cardigan around your shoulders, collarbones out for display. it was one of the outfits you bought last night.
the guilt on his shoulders felt heavier as he was reminded of what he did — what he thought of.
forcefully shaking the thoughts away, he quietly sits right next to you. his gaze drifts to your legs anxiously bouncing under the table. a sign that something was clearly bothering you. gently, he placed a hand on your knee. you flinched slightly, then looked up at him, your expression distant – like you just realized he was there.
“bunny, what’s wrong?,” he asks, voice low and tender, threaded with concern.
“they’re all staring, jeno,” you whispered, almost like you didn’t want the words to exist.
he looks around the room, noticing the way everyone was too deep into their own worlds and while he didn’t see anyone obviously gawking, he knew it didn’t matter. it wasn’t about them. it was about what you were feeling inside.
“no one’s staring, bunny,” he murmured, voice delicate, like handling glass.
he knew better than to dismiss it. he recalls what it was like when he stepped out without the comfort of his thick-rimmed glasses and oversized t-shirts for the first time. remembers the way his heart was pounding in his chest, afraid of the judgments he might receive. he didn’t need to guess what you were feeling. he’s sure you were battling the same internal conflict right now. but just like how he got through it, he knows you will too. he’ll make sure of it.
you shut your eyes, taking a deep breath, “sorry,” you whispered, exhaling like the breath had been stuck in your chest all day, “im just- being paranoid, i’m not used to people noticing me,” you say softly.
“that’s okay,” jeno said, a warm smile blooming on his face as his hand moved to your back, rubbing slow, soothing circles, “that’s our lesson for today.”
jeno gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he set his bag down beside you, “okay bunny, first thing’s first is it’s all about your mindset,” he taps his head, pointing to his brain and you can’t help but giggle at the silly antics.
“im serious,” he insisted, lips twitching into a smirk, “if someone stares, don't spiral and think ‘they’re judging me.’ instead think ‘i look good, that’s why they’re staring,’” he says.
your eyes pop out of your head, he says it like it was so easy, “doesn’t that sound a little too egotistical?,” you said, nose wrinkling.
“not egotistical, just confident,” he counters, “there’s a difference.”
you gave him a skeptical look but he was already sitting up straighter, leaving no room for arguments.
“next is posture, stop hiding behind your books and sit straight, shoulders back, chin up,” he demonstrates.
you copied his posture, finding his seriousness amusing as you rolled your shoulders back, “like this?,”
“yeah,” he nodded, approving, “you already look more confident”
you laughed quietly, already feeling silly, “i feel like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not,” you point out.
“well, confidence is pretending, at first anyway,” he replied, shrugging, “eventually you start owning up to it, it starts becoming comfortable.”
you studied your best friend for a minute or two. there was a time where he would hide behind his books as well, would even hide behind you. you realized now that his change didn’t just come out of nowhere – it wasn’t just a random growth spurt. it was something he’d worked on, something that took time and practice, just like you were doing now. you wondered how he ever managed to do this alone.
“and the most important thing to know, bunny,” he adds, voice gentler now, “you’re allowed to take up space, don’t ever apologize for being seen.”
you carried his words with you, tucking them somewhere deep, somewhere that had always longed to hear them.
you sat there in silence for a beat until jeno shifted beside you, nudging your arm lightly, “okay,” he said, eyes glinting with a mischievous spark, “time for your first assignment.”
you turned to him, instantly suspicious, “assignment?,”
he nodded, already scanning the room, “see that guy by the window,” he points to possibly the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen reading a worn copy of the hunger games: catching fire. you recognize him. you’re pretty sure he was in your elective art class.
“you’re going to flirt with him,” jeno smirks and your eyes almost bulge out of your head.
“you’re joking! that’s hyunjin,” you whisper, head whipping toward jeno.
“so?,”
“so, he’s…he’s too cool and i don't even know how to flirt!,” you whisper-shouted, hands flailing helplessly at your sides.
he chuckles, “you were the same girl who threatened to beat up my bullies when we were 11, you’re telling me you’re afraid of a boy now?,” his smile is playful, lightly provoking you. and when you don’t reply, he knew you knew that he was right, “just compliment him, smile, say he has nice hands or something.”
your mouth fell open, staring at him in horror, “that’s so dumb, jeno. what if he thinks i'm hitting on him?”
“...you are hitting on him,” he said slowly, like it was obvious.
you groaned, dragging your hands over your face, “i’m not comfortable with this.”
“that’s the point. confidence doesn’t grow in comfort zones,” jeno says and you wonder when he’s gotten so wise. usually you were the one who had these motivational words ready for him.
staring down at your lap, nerves buzzing like static in your fingertips, you take a moment to think it through. you glanced back at your best friend, he was already looking at you proudly – like he believed in you more than you believe in yourself.
you let out a breathy laugh, the absurdity the situation weighing on your chest, “if this ends in disaster–,”
“it wont,” he cuts you off and you knew there was no way to back out of this situation. besides you were the one who asked him to help you. slowly, you got up from your chair, taking a deep breath and making your way towards the boy.
“hi, hyunjin,” you start off quiet, timid, slightly afraid.
hyunjin darts his eyes away from his book, looking up at you, “hey” he replies. when you don’t say anything else right away, he shifted in his seat, “did you need anything?,” he says, an awkward smile on his lips.
you swallowed hard, nerves tangling in your throat, “i uhm…just wanted to tell you—you have nice hands!,” you say, a little too cheerful for your liking. you were internally screaming. curse jeno for putting that in your head. you actually can’t believe you used it.
he blinked. then a soft laugh escaped him, not mocking, but surprised, amused. “oh? uhm, thanks?,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes, “i like what you’ve done with your hair,” he compliments, leaving you shocked.
“what?”
he points vaguely in your direction, “you got a haircut, right? it look’s nice.”
you blinked, stunned into silence for a second too long. “thank you,” you finally breathed, cheeks warming instantly.
you didn’t realize he noticed you before. let alone remember you enough to notice a change.
“you’re welcome,” he smiles and you awkwardly wave goodbye.
you made your back to jeno, so certain that you looked like a tomato. dropping into the seat beside him, burying your face in your hands, “that was so embarrassing,” you mumbled through your fingers.
jeno tried to hide his laughter behind his fingers, afraid to be called out by the librarian for being too loud, “you actually told him he had nice hands,” he wheezed.
“shut up!,” you groaned, “that was your fault!,” you swat at his arm, “my brain just – stopped working.”
jeno calms himself down, sitting up straighter now, the teasing falling away just a little, “yeah, but you did it…and he talked to you, noticed your hair, said he liked it.”
the memory of hyunjin’s compliment flickers in the back of your mind and a small swell of pride flutters in your chest, “he did, didn’t he…,” a shy smile tugs at the corner of your lips.
jeno nods, eyes full of tenderness, “see? you’ve never been invisible,” he points out.
the words settle over you like a warm blanket and for a moment you just sit with them, the weight of the realization sinking in.
“i still felt like i was going to pass out though,” you admitted, a thin, embarrassed smile on display.
“that’s okay, confidence is scary,“ jeno said simply, “but the more you practice, the easier it’ll be,” he sends you a warm smile, never making you feel like these feelings were wrong.
without thinking, you leaned into his shoulder, seeking the steady comfort he always gave you, “thanks, neno,” you breathe out.
he freezes for a second, just for a second, before bumping his head lightly against yours, “anytime.”
then he pulls back just enough to grin mischievously, “now, go back to hyunjin and say something a little less awkward.”
“wait? right now?!,” you whip your head toward him, horrified once again.
“yes, right now…go,” he’s already pushing you up and out of your seat, laughing under his breath as he watches you stumble forward, nerves buzzing anew.
trying to ignore the way your heart pounds against your ribs, you walk back up to hyunjin, this time with a bit more confidence, capturing his attention once more.
“actually i…i wanted to say that’s a really good book,” you nod toward the hunger games book in his hand and hyunjin lights up instantly.
“right?, i’m on my third re-read,” he says excitedly.
with a casual gesture, he pulls out the chair next to him inviting you to sit as you talked about the masterpiece that is suzanne collins and the hunger games trilogy. the conversation went on for a good twenty minutes, it was easy and light and fun, a little playful sometimes. you lose yourself in the exchange, forgetting the nerves that once clawed at your chest.
when hyunjin bid his goodbye, you practically floated back to your seat. your heart was pounding in your ears but in the best way possible. you can’t believe that just happened. you usually only talk to people in class, if you’re required to.
jeno watched you. watched that twinkle in your eye appear, your smile beaming as the conversation continues and it’s the first time throughout this whole process that he sees the change.
you were slowly bringing back the girl he knew. the girl you lost along the way. the girl he always knew was still there, just waiting for a reason to shine.
when you returned to him, he can’t help but tease you just a little bit, “look who’s suddenly ms. social butterfly,” he grins, earning an eye roll from you as you tried to wipe the giddy smile off your face, “shut up”
“no seriously,” he says, leaning forward now, resting his elbows on the table, “twenty full minutes, i was about to send a search party,” he smirks.
“always so dramatic,” you huff but your smile betrays you, “i didn’t think it’d actually go that well,” you admit, cheeks still pink.
“you flirted, you sat down, talked about hunger games lore like it was natural…if i didn't know you, i’d think you do this every day,” he smirks.
you narrow your eyes, “are you mocking me or hyping me up?,” you say playfully.
“why not both?,” he shrugs, clearly enjoying himself. his tone softens just enough to say, “but seriously bunny, im proud of you,” and you smile at him like he just handed you the stars in the sky.
“thanks…i feel kinda…good.”
“confidence will do that to you,” jeno says, nudging your foot under the table.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
the next few days turn into a full crash course in flirting 101 with lee jeno.
one afternoon, he dares you to make eye contact with the cute guy handing out flyers in campus, not just a glance, real eye contact. it sounds simple but it makes your palms sweat. you were able to managed a flirty smile too and when the boy stammers mid-sentence, jeno practically fist-pumps the air behind you.
another day, he made you strike up a casual conversation with the barista at the cafe. told you to be a little playful, a little flirty. you passed with flying colors, only stumbling over a few words, the barista writing his number on your cup as well as giving you an extra cookie “on the house.” you nearly skip back to jeno, face lit up like christmas morning.
each small win builds on the last, stacking slowly, steadily until the idea of putting yourself out there and owning up to your confidence doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
through it all, jeno watches with the same steady pride adoring the fact that you were learning how to take up space and shine again.
but then comes the moment that even he isn’t prepared for.
it’s a warm afternoon, golden light slanting through the library windows, when jeno leans over the table, a mischievous glint in his eye, “alright, new assignment.”
you smirk at him, accepting his challenge, “what now?”
he tips his chin toward the entrance where sungchan – tall, charming, the boy you’ve had a quite, hopeless crush on for years – walks in, balancing a coffee and his bag slung casually over one shoulder.
the air is knocked out of your lungs and you suddenly feel dizzy, hoping jeno doesn’t follow through whatever he had in mind.
“sungchan,” jeno says, making your heart skip a bit. he grins, already knowing the effect he has on you, “go invite him to the dream frat party this weekend.”
you stare at him like he’s grown two heads, “are you insane?!, that’s sungchan!”
“which makes this the perfect challenge,” he teases.
you open your mouth to protest but jeno cuts you off with a nudge on your arm, “c’mon show me you’ve learned something,” he mocks playfully.
you groan dramatically but your feet somehow move anyway, heart pounding so loudly you’re sure jeno can hear it from where he’s sitting. you were determined to show jeno (and yourself) that you have completely embraced the confidence.
you gather every shred of courage you have and cross the room toward the boy who inspired this whole glow-up.
sungchan looks up just as you approach, his smile lighting up the whole room. you send him a smile – a little flirty, a little too sweet.
“hey,” sungchan says, voice warm, “you’re in my psych class, right? you always ace every test”
you blink, a little thrown by the fact the he paid attention to you, “oh yeah, that’s me,” you say with a soft, bashful laugh, earning a chuckle from the boy in front of you.
he leans against the shelves a little, eyes raking over you in a way that makes your stomach twist. it’s not the uncomfortable kind of stare you’ve been learning to dodge lately. it’s something softer, curious, warm. like he’s seeing you for the first time.
“you look different today,” he says, tilting his head, studying you, “—in a good way.”
you feel the heat rush to your cheeks but you force yourself to stay steady, remembering everything jeno has taught you.
“thanks,” you manage, giving him a more playful, more bold smile, “maybe you just weren’t paying enough attention before.”
this surprises him, eyebrows shooting up before a slow, impressed grin stretches across his face.
“maybe i wasn’t,” he admits, the easy charm in his voice sending your heart into a full sprint.
for a second, neither of you moves. the space between you humming with quiet tension – intoxicating and terrifying all at once.
you clear your throat lightly, breaking the spell, “come to the dream frat party this weekend,” you say it like it wasn’t an invitation. wasn’t a question. didn’t give him any room to deny.
sungchan’s grin turns teasing, a spark lighting in his eyes, “am i coming as your date or…?,” he leans toward you, trailing off, leaving the question open, playful.
you bite back a laugh, finding just enough courage to meet his gaze head on, “i guess you’ll have to come to find out.”
he stares at you for a heartbeat longer. you’ve definitely piqued his curiosity. and then he laughs, easy and alluring, “okay beautiful, you’ve convinced me. i’ll be there,” he whispers for only you to hear before sending you a wink and walking away.
back at the table, jeno watches. something inside him shifts. it’s subtle, a small, tight pull low in his chest but it settles in bitterly.
he pushes it away, refusing to acknowledge it because this wasn’t supposed to matter. he wasn’t supposed to care about anything but seeing you happy.
you make your way back to him, beaming, “he said yes!,” you practically squeal, dropping into your chair like your knees might give out at any second.
jeno chuckles, reaching out to ruffle your hair, a familiar, easy gesture that suddenly feels heavier than it should.
“of course he did, you’re impossible to say no to,” he tries to tease, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and you’re too giddy to notice any of it. you bat his hand away, cheeks flushed and full of life.
jeno is forced to swallow past the uncomfortable lump rising in his throat.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
tonight is the dream fraternity’s party.
the night where you finally put everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve worked for, to the test. this was it. the final step in your glow up and you felt that electric sense of anticipation crackling just beneath your skin.
you were done waiting. done watching from the sidelines.
you were ready to let loose, to fully step into this new version of yourself.
you stepped into the house, the air thick with excitement. a tight white dress clings to your body, a bold choice you would have second-guessed before. you ditched your glasses for the night, switching it with the contact lenses giselle gave you — embracing the braveness.
this time, when you notice the stares, the double takes, the whispered comments, you don’t shrink back. you don’t flinch. you let them wash over you, feeding the fire inside you.
all those lessons with jeno clearly worked. that change in mindset was all you needed. the attention makes you glow. makes you feel powerful.
looking around the room, you searched for your best friend before finally spotting him in the corner at the back, near the kitchen.
you send him a tiny wave, he sends one back, excitement bubbling through you but before you could make your way towards him, a hand on your arm stops you.
“y/n! you look so pretty oh my god!,” giselle screeches over the loud music, a smile beaming on her face as she pulls you in for a tight hug. she was clearly already intoxicated, her balance a little wobbly but her energy still infectious.
“c’mon,” she says, already dragging you around the room with her, “you have to meet my friends!”
you happily followed her around, giggles escaping your lips, nervousness falling away with every step.
before you know it you were three shots in, dancing with the girls – giselle, somi, and angel, who you already knew before as jaemin’s girlfriend.
the music was loud, your laughters were louder.
and for the first time, you aren’t overthinking a single thing.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
when jeno saw you walk into the front door, it was like time had slowed down, like a thousand cherry blossom petals had burst into the air around you, everyone else blurring into a side character of your story.
you have always been pretty. always been beautiful. but tonight, you were absolutely radiant.
and it wasn’t even the dress, though he can’t deny how much he loved the way white clung to you, soft and luminous.
it was the way you walked around the room with your head held high. the way you glowed with every step, not shying away under anyone’s gaze. the way your smile beamed.
you weren’t hiding anymore.
you have finally stepped into your own skin, finally brought back the girl he knew.
in that moment, it wasn’t just the girl standing in front of him that he saw. it was every version of you that was always beautiful – the girl that was the first one out of the house, chasing after his hamster. the girl that didn’t care if she only had two teeth left, she would still eat what she wanted. the girl who was fighting bullies three times her size just to protect him. the girl who was brave enough to kiss him first. the girl who learned to pick up the pieces.
when you waved at him, he felt like he was on cloud nine. it felt like he had stepped into his shoes all those years ago – a boy hopelessly in awe of the only person he ever wanted to see him.
and when you started walking towards him, it was like his lungs could no longer function. you stole every breath he had.
but before you could give it back to him, giselle pulls you away, spinning you into the chaos of the party, leaving jeno standing there, fighting the urge to follow.
“was that, y/n?,” jaemin says, popping out from nowhere, almost giving him a heart attack as he clutches his chest.
he punches the boy in his arm before confirming that it was in fact, you. jaemin looks at him with a knowing glance. he recognizes the familiar twinkle in jeno’s eye.
“wow,” jisung comments from his other side, making him pause.
when did all his friends show up?
“she looks really hot,” jisung adds, eyes following your figure across the room.
a devilish grin appeared on jeno’s lips and in one quick motion, he had jisung under his arm, ruffling his hair, “no, no, no…not the hair hyunggg!,” he struggled from the older boy’s grip before jeno finally released him.
“point taken, won’t say anything about her ever again,” jisung pouts, fixing his hair back into place.
“i don’t know what you mean,” jeno smiles playfully, “i just wanted to play with you.”
chenle chuckles from nearby, “oh definitely, it’s totally not because you’re possessive and way too protective of y/n,” he points out.
“i am not possessive,” jeno argues, his voice defensive, “protective, sure, but she’s my best friend guys, our parents will kill me if something bad happens to her,” he says.
“she’s also a grown woman,” renjun points out, “you can’t keep pushing away every guy who thinks she’s hot, you know?”
“im not pushing away every guy!…just you guys,” jeno protests. he would never let any of his friends touch you, knowing what he knows.
there’s a pause as the group stares at him, “mhm, cause her really tall, really muscular, really intimidating, doesn’t smile at anyone, guy best friend being by her side almost all the time isn’t pushing away any boys,” haechan adds, teasing.
“it’s not my fault those boys don’t have the balls to ask her out,” jeno mutters, looking at mark for some support, hoping that he’d somehow take his side and tell the others that they were being ridiculous.
mark shrugs in a don’t look at me kind of way and jeno can’t help but groan in defeat.
“well, that boy definitely has the balls,” jaemin nods towards the dance floor as jeno follows his line of vision, his eyes immediately on your figure once again.
you're still with the girls but this time, sungchan and a few other guys from the riize fraternity have surrounded you, laughing and chatting with you.
“shouldn’t you get your girlfriend, jaemin?,” mark asks casually, “i know that wonbin guy has a thing for her,”
jaemin just laughs, completely unbothered, “nah, he doesn't stand a chance,” he says, sipping from his drink as the boy’s laugh.
but jeno knew that sungchan definitely had a chance with you. nothing is funny.
sungchan leans in close, whispers something in your ear and you were laughing. the laugh he thought was only reserved for him. he feels his fists clench up on his sides.
“you gonna push him away, jeno?,” haechan teases by his ear, a smirk playing on his lips, earning him a punch right on the stomach.
“shut up,” he says, haechan clutching over, his laughter mixing with his pain. he totally deserved that.
“c‘mon jisung, let’s find your girl for the night,” haechan manages to say in between choked breaths, before he dragged jisung and mark out of the room, resuming their fuckboy101 classes.
jeno watches as sungchan and you continue to talk, his gaze never wavering from the two of you. every inch of him wants to march over there and pull you away but he doesn’t. instead, he stays rooted in place, his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, feeling his pulse quicken in ways he can’t explain.
lia, his current situationship, walks up to him.
“okayy, that’s our cue,” chenle whispers before all the boys dispersed leaving jeno alone.
he doesn’t even greet her, doesn’t make an effort to say hi, eyes still glued on your figure.
“hi handsome,” lia drags her hands up his shoulders, settling on the back of his neck, her lips finding the side of his jaw.
it all happened so quickly.
one second you were still with the girls, the next sungchan dragged you to the side, his lips on yours. jeno’s jaw clenches. his heart dropping.
he needed to stop looking. he needed a distraction.
he finally acknowledges the girl clung to his neck. she reeks of alcohol and vape smoke. jeno turns to kiss her anyway.
he let’s lia drag him up the stairs, taking one last look at you. he let’s her lead him into his bedroom. let’s her strip off his clothes.
he knew you were going to be okay, knew you could handle your alcohol after many beer nights with him and he definitely knew that you were too smart to get yourself into any real trouble.
he can’t ruin this night for you.
“fuck me like you did last time,” lia whispers in his ear, trailing kisses down his neck, “fuck me like you mean it,” her hand travels down, wrapping around his already hard cock and jeno did.
he fucked her like she was all he needed. abused her hole, used her to release all his sexual tension, trying to push away the image of you from his mind.
but he found that every time you appeared, the better it felt and soon he was clenching, body shaking, his orgasm taking over as he came…with your name spilling from his lips.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
bunny: come over please it’s an emergency.
jeno was banging on your door in under eight minutes of that text. which was absolutely ridiculous considering the fraternity house was a twenty minute walk away from your building. a million thoughts were racing in his head.
what happened after he left you at the party that constitutes this emergency text? were you hurt?
you swung the door open, perfectly intact. no tears, no bruises, just you – in shorts and one of his your oversized naruto t-shirt, blinking at him like he was the one being ridiculous.
side note: it’s insane how you manage to make that shirt look sexy.
he exhaled hard, one hand bracing on the doorframe as he caught his breath.
“did you run here?,” you ask, stunned, noticing the sweat dripping down the side of his face.
“you said it was an emergency,” he shot back, chest still heaving.
you offered a sheepish smile, “sorry, come in,” before walking into your room. jeno followed, shutting the door with a soft click.
“what happened?” he asked, eyes scanning you again, just to be sure, as he sat on the edge of your bed watching you pace back and forth.
“sungchan kissed me,” you tell him.
he blinked, processing, he knew that. he saw you. the reminder leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. he pushes it away, playing the best friend card once more.
“that’s good? right?,” he says cautiously, cursing the fact that he was your best friend right now and had to listen to you talk about another guy, “that’s what you wanted?”
“yeah but,” you swallowed, embarrassment already creeping up your neck, “but i didn’t know what to do!”
“what do you mean?,” he asks dumbfounded, “you just…kiss him back.”
“it’s not that simple, you weren’t there – i panicked! i-i froze! i was too into my head and then i just – i ran,” you ramble, cringing as you relived what happened last night.
a snort escapes jeno before he could stop it.
you narrowed your eyes, “don’t laugh!, it was so humiliating, i can’t believe i ran away like a literal child!,” you groan in your hands.
he tried to control his expression but the corner of his mouths betrayed him, eyes twinkling with amusement, “y/n, it’s not a big deal, you were nervous,” he reassures, “just tell him you were drunk and then try again, it's not the end of the world,” he says it so easily – like you didn’t just go through the worst moment of your life. and that’s saying a lot considering you had a dead mom.
“that’s the problem, i don’t know what i'm doing, i always thought when it happened i’d just know but i didn’t,” you whine in frustration, pulling at your hair.
he must be crazy to think you’d get a different result if you went up to sungchan now and kissed him. you’re almost sure the same thing would happen.
“you’ll be fine next time, you’ll be prepared for it,” he says. the thought of there being a next time makes you panic.
“will i?,” you cut in, “what if i freeze again?,”
“you won’t”
“you don’t know that.”
he opened his mouth to argue, but you beat him to it.
“can you teach me?,” you said, voice quiet.
jeno stills, looking at you with wide eyes like he almost couldn’t believe what you just said – “what?”
“teach me,” you sat next to him, eyes locked on his, “add a step five, teach me how to kiss, teach me how to–” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the other things, the dirtier things you wanted to learn, “–how to do other things,” you mumble.
his jaw tensed. he can’t believe what it is you’re truly asking from him. teaching you how to kiss was already absurd but teaching you how to kiss for another man? it makes him want to throw up.
“bunny –no. i don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“why not?,” your head turns like a genuinely curious puppy.
“because best friends don’t–,” he faltered, “we don’t cross that line.”
“but it’s not like that,” you looked up at him, voice softening, “it’s just…practice.”
he didn’t move. didn’t blink. he can’t fathom the fact that he was actually starting to entertain the idea.
“it’s for educational purposes…just another step in the glow up,” you added, looking at him with those innocent eyes that makes him want to give you the moon, if you asked for it.
his throat worked as he swallowed, holding on to the last bit of restraint he had, “we can’t,” but it came out too quiet, too unsure, his resolve breaking with every second.
“neno,” you whispered, eyes locked on his. it’s not fair and you know it but you’ve already convinced yourself that this is necessary. that you needed to be taught.
“please…you’re the only one i feel comfortable with, just so i could learn, so i could know what to do when these things happen and i don’t make a fool of myself again,” you say, your tone low, almost pleading.
jeno’s breath hitches in his throat. he must be crazy or maybe you truly have him wrapped around your finger because now his eyes are flickering down to your lips and he can’t look away.
he realizes just how close you actually were and just like that, everything else blurs.
he leans in slowly, cautiously, searching your eyes for any flicker of hesitation.
you remain still, you don’t move, you don’t pull away. just watching him, a mixture of quiet excitement, nerves and something warmer, something softer, spreading through you like wildfire.
“just for practice,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against yours.
“just for practice,” you breathe back.
and that was all he needed to finally close the final inch – kissing you slowly, carefully.
it hits him instantly. fireworks. the same ones he felt when he was fourteen. the same one burned at the back of his memory. all this time he thought it was just because it was his first kiss, that feeling never once coming again. but here it is. bright, real and alive in his chest.
and this time he sees it for what it is – it’s you.
he feels you stiffen up and he pulls away softly, “don’t think about it too much, just follow my lead, okay, bunny?,” the once innocent nickname leaves you feeling hot, your heart pounding in your chest as you nod.
his hand makes his way to your cheek, warm and gentle, brushing the soft skin just beneath your ear, the small smile on his lips bringing you a sense of comfort as you as he pulls you back in. lips melting in his. you gave in, shutting the rest of the world out and only focusing on the boy in front of you.
jeno tilts his head, deepening the kiss as you follow his every move. his tongue licks your bottom lip, begging for entrance as yours part on instinct. body reacting before your mind could even process what was happening.
you kiss him back – not perfectly, not practiced but with all the pent-up wonder and want you’ve never let yourself say out loud. it was so natural with jeno. like you were always meant to be kissing him.
you can taste the faint mint of the altoids he always had, feel the heat radiating off his skin.
the makeout session grows heavier and heavier as you continue to keep up with him, learning to breathe through your nose.
you shift slightly and your knees brush, thighs pressing together and suddenly you’re aware of how close you have gotten. the lack of space between your bodies is dizzying. your fingers curl into the front of his shirt, wanting him even closer.
as if he could read your mind, jeno moves his hand from your neck to your waist, fingers splaying wide, grounding you and then in one swift motion, like you had absolutely no weight, he pulls you into his lap.
you gasp softly into the kiss and he swallows the sound, “sorry,” he murmurs against your lips, not pulling back. he was completely lost in you. in this feeling that only you could give him. he swears he could kiss you for hours and it still wouldn’t be enough.
“don’t be,” you shake your head, straddling him now. your hands find his shoulders, wrapping around his frame and threading through his hair. he kisses you harder now, less careful, lips moving in a messy rhythm, teeth clashing.
almost like it had a mind of it’s own, your hips instinctively grind down on his clothed bulge. the action sending jeno into a frenzy, a strangled groan transferring from his mouth to yours, his hold on your waist tightening.
the sound was so addicting, so intoxicating and it wraps around your head like a sweet drug.
you do it again, not entirely sure what you want to achieve but it felt good. it feels like a million butterflies flying in your stomach. there’s a growing tension in your belly that you can’t pinpoint. the feeling is new, exciting, hot.
jeno was right there with you, every boundary, every line he tried to draw was completely vanishing.
his lips trail down to your jaw, then lower, to the edge of your throat and you tilt your head back with a soft breath. your heart’s pounding. his is too. you can feel it, fast and erratic against your chest.
“y/n,” he grunts your name, like a warning – hoping you would stop him because he no longer couldn’t.
“what were the other things?,” he asks you, eyes completely blown out as he looks at you with a kind of hunger. and when all you do is grind against him once more, leaning into his touch, he’s decided he wants to see you on your knees.
“lesson number two, you’re going to suck my cock,” he whispers in your ear. the vulgar words make you feel hot, your body clenching, “do you want to learn that, bunny?,” he says, voice raspier, teasing, waiting for your go signal.
you nervously look up at him, all you could do was nod, an innocent glow in your eyes and jeno swears he could bust right there.
he reaches for one of your pillows, placing it on the floor beside your bed, “get on your knees,” he gently commands. you’re quick to follow, almost like you were in a trance. jeno tugs his sweats down to his ankles, his bulge prominent in his boxers and you can’t help but stare.
“go ahead, bunny, touch it,” he says. you almost can’t believe this is the same boy who was hiding behind your back, crying, every time the older kids would tease him.
this situation was absolutely ridiculous but that doesn’t stop your hand from wandering. following the outline of his cock as you palm him through his boxers. jeno lets out a hiss, the friction already fucking with his head.
“you can take it out,” he says, almost pleading. carefully you push his boxers off, his cock springing free, slapping against his thigh. you can’t help but gulp at his size, “i-its so big,” you say, making him laugh.
“thank you,” he says with a smirk on his lips and you playfully roll your eyes.
“what do i do?,” you look up at him, waiting for the answer. his eyes darken, that simple question snapping something inside of him. you were so innocent. so pure. and he was about to corrupt you.
he gently grabs your hand, redirecting it to your mouth, “spit,” he orders and like an obedient student, you follow, spitting in your hand.
“you can do anything, you can squeeze it,” he says, making you wrap your hand around his cock. your hand looks so tiny around his member and jeno almost just wants to skip this lesson entirely and fuck your hand dumb but he contains himself.
large hands envelop yours as he guides you on what to do, squeezing just the right amount.
“you can pump it up and down,” he says, guiding your hand to slide up and down his throbbing cock. he releases a sigh of pleasure, the warmth of your hand already making him weak.
“you can twist,” he says, twisting your hand around his cock, “you can put your mouth on it…lick it, swallow it, just keep the teeth away,” he smirks and you take a mental note of everything.
jeno releases your hand, giving you the space to experiment on his body. you’re excited, nervous but excited. you wanted to be good at this.
slowly, you continue his previous ministrations, pumping his cock up and down, squeezing and twisting your hand, just like how he showed you. jeno can’t help but let out a shaky breath, and you’re worried “does it hurt?,” you ask.
“no, bunny–feel’s really good, j-just go faster, please,” he begs.
it was sweet torture – how slow you were going, how much you were edging him on and you weren’t even aware of it. you pick up the speed, giving into his request and jeno grunts, his elbows coming in contact with your bed.
his cock looked so pretty, red and swelling, leaking.
your mouth exploringly wraps around his red tip and jeno curses under his breath, “fuuuck, oh my god.”
your confidence grows, feeling your pussy twitch at the sight of him. clenching your thighs, wanting some sort of relief. the sinful sounds he was making goes directly to your senses — the same sound you heard earlier but clearer now, more desperate, more whiny, and it knocks the breath out of you.
your hand continues to pump him, as you start sucking. you wouldn’t describe the taste of his cock to be good or sweet or like candy but it was addicting — it makes you want more. especially when every swipe of your tongue was accompanied by a breathy groan from him. it fuels you.
you take more and more of his length in until you could no longer fit him in your mouth and slowly you start bobbing up and down. his grunts and groans becoming more frequent.
jeno can’t do it anymore. this teasing was killing him. and the worst part is that you don’t even know how much you were affecting him.
his hand finds it’s way to your hair, gripping lightly, controlling the pace, increasing the speed, until you were choking, gagging, tears brimming in your eyes, “s-sorry bunny, it just f-feels so good,” he growls, thrusting his cock down your throat.
it was too much. he was too big. but you don’t care. you shut your eyes tightly, fighting the urge to gag as he continued to hit the deepest part of your throat.
this image of you on your knees, spit drooling all over your chin, tears in the corner of your eyes as you take what he gives you is absolutely heavenly.
jeno feels the coil about to snap, his breaths coming in heavy pants, thrusts getting messier and messier.
“o-open your eyes, bunny,” he orders. he wants you to see it. wants you to see him unravel. wants you to know how good you’ve been for him.
“p-play with my balls,” he instructs. your hands immediately follows through, squeezing him just where he needed it. heat travels all throughout his veins as he pulls you off, not wanting to force you to swallow his cum.
and then he falls apart – hard.
jaw going slack, eyes rolling back as his body fell into your pillows, abs clenching, cock pulsating. his cum shoots out of his tip, messily squirting everywhere, orgasm completely washing over him.
you watch him fall apart and you’re absolutely mesmerized. he looked so beautiful. so fucked out. and there’s that knot building in your stomach that you still can’t quite place.
you lick him clean, swallowing every drop that has landed on his stomach, his thighs, everywhere.
jeno’s eyes shot open as he tried to slow his breathing, slowly sitting back up, watching you clean him up like he was your last meal.
“how does it taste?,” he smirks and you look up at him through your damp lashes, “not very good,” you smile, earning a laugh from both of you. he guides you back up, as you stand in between his legs.
he lifts the naruto shirt off your body, leaving you in your light blue bra, flower patterns detailing it, “cute,” he playfully smirks and you suddenly feel embarrassed, arms protectively going across your chest.
“nu-uh don’t shy on me now, this was your idea, remember,” he says, before pushing your hands away and placing a soft kiss on the flesh on top of your breasts, looking up at you. your breath catches in your throat. that knot in your belly growing and growing making you push your legs together.
jeno notices.
“you did such a good job,” he compliments you, licking and sucking the skin of your breasts as he continues to look at you. your hands find comfort in his shoulders, stabilizing yourself.
“i did?,” you ask, “mhm, you’re such a good girl…made me feel so good,” he groans in between your breasts before traveling lower, placing a soft kiss on your stomach. his dirty talk has your mind reeling, feeling weak in the knees.
“-and good girls, must be rewarded,” he says, his fingers making their way to the hem of your shorts, squeezing the fabric between his fingers.
“how do you like being touched?,” he asks, softly, waiting, looking up at you.
“what?,” you ask, blush creeping up your cheeks.
“when you touch yourself, how do you like it?,” he asks, littering your stomach with soft kisses, his tongue lightly grazing on your skin.
“i-,” you stutter, “i-i dont,” you say, embarrassed of your lack of experience.
“what?” it was his turn to be surprised, gently sitting you on his thigh, like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
sure he knew you were a virgin and had zero experience with men but you had to have touched yourself before? there had to be some part of you that gave in to the desires of the night and experimented?
you groan, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, “i-i’ve tried but nothing ever happens and i just feel silly with my hand down my pants,” you reason out and that very image alone makes his cock twitch again.
you were going to kill him.
“so you’ve never fingered yourself? never had an orgasm?,” he asks, completely shocked.
“i don’t even know how i’m supposed to do that,” you shrug.
“ok,” jeno says, taking it all in.
he thinks for a minute or two before he finally comes to a conclusion.
you stole his first kiss, it was only fair he stole your first orgasm. right?
“lesson number three, i’m teaching you how pleasure is supposed to feel like.”
his strong arms lift you up, making you squeal at the sudden action before he turns around, gently laying you on your bed.
jeno gets rid of his shirt, throwing his remaining piece of clothing over his head and holy fuck…your best friend is hot. his abs are on clear display, his semi-hard cock hung to the side, and you feel very hot as his gaze focuses back on you.
“when did you get those?,” you ask, fingers ghostly dancing over his six pack, trying to push away the nerves you were feeling.
he chuckles before leaning over, body trapping yours, lips finding that spot he left off of, as he continues to trail kisses on your stomach. your body can’t help but react, arching towards him. his fingers tugging on your pajama shorts.
“let’s take this off, bunny,” you comply, hips raising up, shorts sliding down your legs and you almost curse yourself at the underwear you decided to wear – a white one with cute little brown bears all over it.
jeno smirks, “really mature choice of underwear,” he teases and you scowl, “shut up, jeno,” you say, trying to hold onto the little pride you had left. he chuckles until he spots the dripping arousal your underwear has collected and something inside him shifts.
he wants to ruin you…so bad.
“look at you, bunny,” his voice drops an octave deeper, “already so wet and i haven’t even touched you,” he kisses the inside of your thigh and you feel your pussy clench, “you don’t even know what we can do with all this, huh?,” he says, gazing up at you. you watch him, as he got up, pulling you to the edge of the bed.
jeno’s hands wrapped around his cock and you tense up, “neno, are we about to have sex?,” you ask, your voice soft, timid, a hint of fear – it drives him absolutely nuts.
“no bunny, i won’t take that from you,” he says softly, “just want you to feel something, okay? just a little clit stimulation,” he explains and before you could even ask him what that means his cock was inside your underwear — collecting all your juices, tip hitting your clit over and over again as he slides up and down your wet folds.
“ohhh,” you release a sigh of pleasure, eyebrows furrowing as you try to understand this new feeling.
“feel’s good?,” he says, smirking at you.
“y-yeah,” you manage to breathe out and jeno absolutely loves the way your face was contorting.
he was playing a dangerous game with himself and this is supposed to be all about you. all he wants to do is insert his tip. just the tip. before he could lose control he stops, pulling his cock out of your underwear.
“why’d you stop?,” you ask, frustrated, already missing the lack of contact.
he chuckles, “my fingers will feel better,” he says for his own sanity.
he finally tugs off your underwear, the cool air hitting your pussy, before his thumb starts circling around your sensitive bud – rough, slow, precise circles that elicited a loud moan from you.
you slap your fingers across your mouth, surprised at the sound you made.
“don’t do that,” he orders, grabbing your fingers and latching it onto his before bringing it up over your head, a strong hand keeping it there, “want to hear you moan, bunny,” he whispers, sucking that sensitive spot just below your ear, earning another breath of moan from you.
your body arches up towards him, hips raising to his touch and he knew you were ready for more.
“gonna stick a finger in,” he warns, not giving you time to respond as his digit slides inside your hole, making you tense up, “relax,” he places a soft kiss on your lips, distracting you from the stretch, “it’s okay,” even with your dripping arousal, you were so so so fucking tight. he didn’t even know it was possible for someone to be this tight.
with a tiny bit of force, he pushes his finger in through your walls, “gonna make you feel real good, bunny,” he soothes as you slowly relax into his touch.
“gonna add another okay?,” he says and you just nod, trusting him completely. this stretch is definitely larger, and you find yourself biting down your lip. his fingers were so thick.
he slowly, gently thrusts them in and out, giving you time to adjust, “it’ll feel real good soon,” he seals with a kiss to your lips as he continues to stretch you out. fingers scissoring your walls until your pussy finally sucked him in.
the feeling of having something inside you was entirely new, strange, and you’re still trying to figure out if it felt good or not. but then jeno curls his finger and that knot in your stomach is rising faster and faster.
you want to know what happens when it finally breaks.
“ohh…neno,” you breathily moan, the pain completely morphing into pleasure. your walls completely adjusting to him, “please” you plead, not entirely sure what you were begging for.
your sweet, innocent, delicious moans of his name awakens something in him.
“im gonna eat you out now,” he tells you.
before you could protest, the idea of it making you feel embarrassed, he was already in between your legs, sucking on that spot that makes your eyes roll back.
“ohhh fuck, jeno,” you cry out, his tounge lapping up your juices, swirling around your sensitive bud, fingers still curling inside of you.
“neno, s-something’s happening,” you say in heavy pants, your breathing becoming shakier.
“p-please,” you beg, eyes wide, jaw going slack as you start panting, your hands gripping his hair, trying to ground yourself.
that coil in your stomach is hanging on by a single thread.
jeno looks up at you, he can feel you coming to a close. your walls pulsating around his fingers. he decides to finally send you over the edge, fingers rubbing fast, harsh, circles around your clit as the other continues to hit that sweet spot.
“let it happen, bunny,” he whispers, “let go…come all over my hand,” your best friend’s voice was the final push.
the thread snaps. the knot breaks.
you came crashing apart, stomach clenching, toes curling, eyes rolling to the back of your head. vision slipping into absolute darkness, feeling like you were floating.
jeno coaxes you through your orgasm, letting you ride out every wave. the sight of you unraveling drives him completely insane and it takes every nerve of self control to not ram his cock into you.
“such a good girl, bunny” he praises, littering kisses along your jaw, slow, reverent, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. your breathing is erratic, chest rising in short, shuddery pulls as you come down from everything.
he shuffles around your room quietly, grabbing a clean towel out of your bathroom before making his way back to your bed, gently cleaning you up.
your eyes flutter open at his touch. your best friend’s smile greets you, safe and warm, “you okay?” he asks and his voice is too tender. too full of something you don’t see.
“t-hat,” you clear your throat, a weak laugh slipping out, “that was a really fun lesson,” you smile, still caught in your daze.
jeno smiles back at you but it’s hollow and empty and he hates himself for smiling at all.
reality slaps him in the face, something in him crumples as he’s reminded that all of this – all the care, all the closeness wasn’t for him. it was all just for practice. a rehearsal for someone else. and now he’s drowning in the realization that he’s just the one you trust, not the one you want.
he’s helping you be prepared for another man, still pretending like it doesn’t kill him.
he almost wants to kill every man in the world for you to finally see him.
he stands, needing to put space between you, between what just happened and everything he’s feeling. but you catch him.
“where are you going?,” you ask, when he pulls his clothes off the ground, pulling his sweats up, getting ready to leave.
“back to the frat”
“jeno, it’s late, just stay the night,” you say, casually, easy. like it’s nothing. like it’s normal. like he didn’t just get a taste of something he’ll never recover from.
and it should’ve been easy. it should’ve been nothing. it should’ve been normal. he has stayed countless nights before.
but it’s not easy. it's not nothing. and it’s definitely not normal.
“please,” you say, moving over, making room for him and patting the space he usually took up.
jeno hesitates for a second or two before doing the one thing he never does if you were any other girl — he crawls back into your bed, your sheets and pillows molding to the shape of his body.
you immediately curl into his chest like it’s instinct. filling in that space that’s always been yours. legs tangle. skin touches skin.
it feels normal but it’s not. not with so little between you. not with everything unsaid.
jeno holds you close like he always does but this time he wonders if it’s the last. the sound of his heartbeat lulls you to sleep but he stays awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling, counting the cracks in his heart, wondering how much longer he can survive being just your best friend.
his fingers thread gently through your hair, slow and careful, memorizing the feel of you beneath his touch. the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo wraps around him, soft and warm and absolutely cruel. it smells like home, like comfort, like everything he’s always wanted.
and then, in a voice so quiet it barely disturbs the silence, he whispers into the night air, words only for the moon to hear:
“i’m in love you, bunny.”
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
the sun filters in gently, casting golden lines across your bedroom floor. you stir before he does, eyes blinking open to the soft rise and fall of his chest, quiet snores filling the air.
jeno’s arm is still wrapped around you, strong and secure, holding you like he didn’t want to let go. his face is relaxed, lips parted slightly, his usually styled hair falls softly on his features — he looks so vulnerable, peaceful.
he looks like the version of himself you remember all those years ago.
you should pull away but you don’t. instead, you study him — every line of his face, older now, more defined, but still him. you’ve seen him like this before, countless times, but something feels different now. you feel different.
and then it hits you, soft and sudden.
the feelings you had for him after you kissed him. the feelings you had for him when you wore your pink puffy dress, him in a pink matching tie as you danced the night away for prom. the feelings you had for him when he held you that night your world was falling apart.
you’ve always just needed him.
all of it crashes back into you at once — feelings you’d buried under years of pretending. years of silence. feelings you quickly tucked away the first time he talked about another girl.
the way you trained yourself to look away. the way you learned to smile through the ache. the way you accepted your fate of being his best friend.
your eyes drop to where your legs are still tangled with his, you notice the bulge in his sweats and memories of last night play in your mind. you feel his warmth everywhere and you wonder how you ever got used to not feeling this. how you ever convinced yourself that this didn’t mean something.
you knew that once he woke up. this would all be over. you would go back to being his best friend. back to the operation. back to the almosts that were always never enough.
so for a moment you let yourself have this, just for a minute longer. the closeness, the warmth, the boy who’s always been there. you snuggle into his side once more, nestling into the warmth of him, letting your eyes fall shut again.
the next time your eyes flutter open, you’re met with the cold reality you’ve always lived in. the warmth that surrounds you is gone. the space beside you is empty.
jeno is gone.
you sit up slowly, a heavy thud echoing in your chest, not of panic or confusion but just that quiet, hollow ache that settles in when you’re reminded that he will never be yours.
your eyes scans the room, no shoes by the door, his shirt nowhere to be seen. no signs he was ever there at all except for the faint scent of his cologne lingering in your sheets.
swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you wrap the blanket around yourself as if that would fill the space he left behind. you check your phone, hoping for a message but there’s nothing.
something twists in your chest — you were just another name on his list.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
forty-eight hours.
that's how long it has been since you’ve last seen your best friend. forty-eight hours of sitting in the library alone. forty-eight hours of him not showing up to your shared classes. forty-eight hours of absolutely no contact. your messages were left on delivered. no goofy tiktoks. no instagram reels. nothing. and you hated every second of it.
you miss him and you’re not entirely sure why he had suddenly fallen off the face of the earth.
giselle: hey girly! <3 go to the party at the dream frat tonight, the girls and i are all gonna be there! <333
giselle: and sungchan will be there ;)
you stare at the messages.
you had nothing better to do and you’re hoping that maybe you’ll get a glimpse of your best friend while you’re there. just to see if he was doing okay.
you slipped on a light blue mini dress that accentuates your figure, did your makeup, paired it with white heels and you were good to go.
the dream fraternity still had a pretty huge crowd considering it was a wednesday night. bodies pressed together, bass shaking the walls, the usual laughter and shouting blurring into one.
you spot jeno almost immediately, in that same corner he seemed to always be in. there’s a new girl on his arm — pretty, tall, fair-skinned. you don’t recognize her. something in your heart twists.
you knew all the girls he was seeing. every girl he flirted with, hooked up with, even the ones he ghosted. usually you were the first one he would tell it to. the first one to know everything about him.
but now? he’s shut you out. it was loud and clear. he has drawn a line between you. the same line he draws once he’s gotten all that he wanted with whoever was his current conquest.
you felt absolutely sick. the years of friendship going down the drain just like this. your heart splitting into two while he’s just standing there, laughing, flirting, completely unaffected by the wreckage he left behind.
if he doesn’t need you then you don’t need him either. if he can act normal then you can too.
you force yourself to look away, scanning the crowd until you spot giselle and the rest of the girls in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, “y/n! you’re hereee!,” she squeals, giving you a tight, buzzing hug that makes you laugh for the first time in days.
“here! take a shot!,” she hands you a drink and you down it quickly, the alcohol burning your throat in the best way possible.
the dj plays a song that gets everyone hyped up and you feel yourself letting loose, having fun, with the girls beside you, already feeling better than you did when you walked in here.
then a hand taps your shoulder and you turn to see the boy that makes your mind race into a million happy tunes, “sungchan!,” you greet him with a wide smile. he looks down at you, amused.
“hi, pretty girl,” he whispers in your ear, hands settling on your waist. his touch is warm against your skin but it doesn’t burn the way jeno’s did. doesn’t leave you branded.
“you’re not gonna run away this time are you?,” he teases, playfully, earning a giggle from you.
“sorry about that, i was just…too drunk,” you lie. the lie jeno taught you.
“are you too drunk now?,” he asks, leaning in, a twinkle in his eye.
you smirk, biting your lips, “no.”
sungchan kisses you, rough, fast and with no room for gentleness. this time, you don’t freeze. you kiss him just as hard. you let his hands roam around your body from your waist to your hips to your ass.
but kissing sungchan wasn’t like kissing jeno.
it doesn’t feel the same. doesn’t feel as good. there were no butterflies, no fireworks, no dizzy, floating feeling.
you’re still grounded. still painfully aware that you’re in the middle of drunk, sweaty strangers. he didn’t take you to a different dimension. your body was just there – moving your mouth against his like a robot programmed to do so. but your heart? your heart’s somewhere else.
and it was so annoying that at a time like this, your lips on your long-time crush, that you’ve made the realization that your heart was where it always was — in the hands of the boy in the corner.
the same boy whose lips, touch, words imprinted your heart in a way that you could never forget.
the same boy who could never see you the way you see him.
suddenly you pull away, too fast, too sharp – the feelings rushing into you all at once, suffocating, overwhelming.
sungchan stares at you like you were crazy and perhaps you are. “i-i need to use the bathroom,” you murmur, forcing a small, apologetic smile. he nods slowly, “alright, i’ll just be here.”
you quietly slip from his arms, pushing through all the bodies, barely noticing the music or the people pressing in on all sides.
and when you finally push open the bathroom door, it’s like exhaling for the first time in minutes. you grip the edge of the sink, chest heaving, trying to gather the pieces of yourself that scattered the moment you woke up alone.
you wished jeno was here.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
almost like he had a radar that went off, everytime you were near him. the second you walked through the door, jeno felt it. his gaze snapped to you instinctively but he looked away just as fast.
he’s not ready to face you. not ready to continue pretending.
the next time he saw you, you were making out with sungchan. kissing him the way he taught you. and god, he needed a drink. lots of it. the image burns in his mind, cruel and unrelenting.
he wants to chop off the guy’s hands. wants to make sure he doesn’t touch you ever again.
he wants him to know that his hands were on you first. that it was his lips he was tasting. that you were his.
but that’s not the case. so he goes and grabs another drink, another shot, another mix of poison to blur the pain.
the sound of your name snaps him back to reality.
“why do you keep waiting around for y/n anyway, there’s so many hotter girls around,” the voice is lazy, mocking, it was that wonbin guy from the riize fraternity.
jeno leans against the the wall, hidden in the shadows as he listens in on their conversation.
“well, one she’s hot,” sungchan snickers and jeno’s jaw tenses.
“and two, rumor is she’s still a virgin,” there’s a wicked amusement in his tone, “and we all know virgins are the hottest in the room.”
laughter erupts around them, sharp, cruel, echoing off the walls and that was all it took.
jeno doesn’t think. doesn’t hesitate.
in one quick second, he marched over, fist landing right on the sungchan’s jaw, the crack loud and satisfying, sending the soccer player tumbling backwards.
“what the hell?!,” sungchan yells, rubbing at his jaw before his expression twists in rage. in the next breath, he lunges. his fist catching jeno clean across the cheek.
jeno barely flinches. the soccer player was stronger than he thought, he’d give him that. but nothing is getting past his rage, adrenaline coursing through him.
he’s not done. not even close.
he charges forward, ramming sungchan into the wall with a force that rattles the shelves beside them, “don’t ever fucking touch her again,” he growls, voice low and deadly.
sungchan pushes back, shoving him hard, “she’s not yours,” and his words hits deeper than any punch could. because it was true. you weren’t his. and he’s almost sure you would kill him for this but he doesn’t care.
jeno throws another fist, connecting with sungchan’s ribs, making him grunt and double over for a second before retaliating with a wild swing.
more people gather now, phones out, flashes going off, chants of “fight, fight, fight,” increasing all around them.
sungchan, lunges, tackling jeno to the ground as they roll, fists flying, shouts echoing.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
the loud commotion coming from outside the bathroom door forces you to pick up the pieces.
shouts. thuds. chaos.
you quickly gather yourself, pulling open the door and following the swarm of bodies funneling toward the noise like a moth drawn to a light.
and then you see him — you know that figure immediately, even with his back towards you.
your best friend was on top of someone, fists repetitively slamming down. your heart lurches, legs moving before your mind can catch up.
they roll and you see sungchan’s face bruised and battered.
what the fuck?
around them, the crowd erupts in shouts and arguments, phones raised like this was some kind of show.
the dream boys were trying to get a hold of the situation but they too just ended up shouting and arguing with the riize fraternity, voices overlapping in a haze of testosterone and ego.
“your guy started it first!”
“you’re on our turf!”
the room was absolute chaos and no one’s doing a damn thing. you finally push through the roaring crowd, running over to them, until you’re at the center of the storm.
“stop!,” you shout, but your pleas are swallowed by the noise as they continue to take jabs at each other.
with all your strength, you yank on sungchan’s shirt, sending him stumbling off jeno.
you finally take a good look at your best friend, he had a nasty cut forming on the side of his forehead, face flushed and bruised.
“y/n,” he breathes your name like he’s shocked you’re here.
he stumbles to his feet, eyes darting behind you “get out of here,” he says urgently.
you whirl around only to see that sungchan wasn’t done. he was charging at your best friend again.
without thinking, you step in – fist connecting with his throat – sharp, clean, brutal. completely flying him backwards as he gasped for air.
the crowd cheers.
of course you knew how to punch, you grew up with three men three times your size.
“okay, that's ENOUGH!” mark’s voice rips through the room like a whip – loud and absolutely furious. the crowd freezes, the chaos dies down. he grabs sungchan by the arm and shoves him toward his crew.
“get the fuck out of here,” he commands the room, controlling the crowd. bodies scattering like cockroaches under a light.
you turn to jeno, chest heaving, fury radiating off you, “what the fuck was that?”
jeno flinches at your tone like it was more painful than any of the punches he had just taken. you were never mad at each other. not like this.
when he doesn’t answer, you turn around, jaw tight, ready to leave.
“wait–,” jeno jolts back to reality.
you pause, barely looking over your shoulder, “what?!,” your anger is palpable, brows furrowed, chest still rising and falling too fast.
he softens, “your hand is bleeding,” he says gently. you glance down at your knuckles, raw and stained red, the adrenaline fading just enough for the sting to set in.
“c’mon,” he grabs your uninjured hand carefully and without another word, he leads you through the dispersing crowd, up the stairs and into the safety of his room.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
you stand in jeno’s bathroom, the fluorescent light above casting a soft glow on both of you. he dabs the small, barely any, blood that had stained your knuckles, applying ointment on the tiny wounds.
“you’re being dramatic, there’s barely anything there,” you mutter, watching how focused he is.
“just don’t want it to get infected,” he says quietly, his brows still drawn together.
then with a soft chuckle, “i can’t believe you punched him,” he smiles his trademark smile and for a second, you forget you were currently angry at him.
“no one hurts my neno and gets away with it,” you tease, the words light on your tongue, but they steal the air from jeno’s lungs. you were always protecting him.
your eyes meet his and the moment stretches. but then you remember yourself, remember why your chest is tight and your heart is sore. so you press your lips into a thin line, forcing away the smile that appeared.
a quiet silence hangs in the air, heavy, almost awkward, until jeno’s voice breaks it, “done,” he says, turning to leave the bathroom and into his bedroom.
before he could take another step, your hand captures his wrist.
“your face is bleeding,” you point out.
you guide him to sit on the edge of the tub, slotting yourself between his legs. no matter how mad you guys are at each other, this is what you do. you take care of each other. your fingers are careful, precise, as you press a cotton pad soaked in alcohol to the gash on his temple.
a particular swipe on the cut stings him, a hiss slipping past his lips as his hands instinctively finds the back of your thighs, gripping, like he’s grounding himself through you. the small contact is enough to bring back that familiar knot tightening in your stomach.
“stop being a baby,” you say, dabbing again, “this is your fault.”
he smirks faintly, “how are you so sure i started the fight?”
“please,” you scoff, “in what world would sungchan go up to you and punch you? especially since he’s in your territory,” you point out, quite familiar with the whole fraternity rules.
he sighs in defeat.
“what happened anyway?,” you ask cautiously, not sure if you were ready for the answer.
“nothing,” he says, a little too quickly.
you stop, eyes narrowing, “no secrets between us remember?,” you remind him.
right, that silly rule you made when you were eight years old and still held on to to do this day.
jeno sighs, his shoulder falling, “he said something about you. i didn’t like it,” he confesses and you still.
“what did he say about me?,” you ask, curious.
“that he only wanted you because you were a virgin,” he mutters, jaw clenching again like it’s the first time he’s hearing it. the urge to punch sungchan in the face coming back in seconds.
it was supposed to hurt. it was supposed to leave you angry, embarrassed, hollow — to hear those words coming from the boy you’ve had a crush on since freshman year. but that feeling of heartache never came. instead, confusion clouds your chest.
why did he care? that wasn’t supposed to be his battle.
“hmm,” you hum thoughtfully, tone laced with challenge “and what if i was okay with that?”
his hands on your legs twitch, just slightly
“you shouldn’t be,” he snaps, “you shouldn’t lose it to a guy like him.”
and just like that, the anger ignites. your hands finish cleaning him up in cold, calculated movements. you removed yourself from his space, placing the first aid kit back in the drawer with a little too much force, organizing everything just to keep from exploding because who the hell was he to decide who you should have sex with?
“oh? and who should i lose it to?,” you seethe.
“a guy like you?,” there’s a sort of anger in your voice that jeno can’t quite read.
“aren’t you the same?,” you throw at him, voice trembling with fury.
jeno furrows his brows at your insinuation, like he’s been slapped, “y/n–,”
“you left, jeno,” your voice is quiet, but it slices through the space between you like a blade. you give him one last look before storming out of the bathroom. and jeno finally understands it all.
“wait, bunny–”
you don’t stop. not even as you hear his footsteps close behind you, not even as your chest rises with every breath that feels too heavy to hold.
you make it into his bedroom but before you can reach for the door, his hands close around your wrist, gentle but firm and in the next second he spins you around and crashes his lips onto yours.
the fire in your chest blazes and still, you kiss him back.
the kiss melts into something deeper, hungrier. your hands grip his shirt as his thumb brushes your jaw. he pulls away just enough to press his forehead against yours, both of you breathless, hearts racing.
“that’s why i left,” he murmurs, voice barely a whisper between your shared air.
your brows draw together, confusion clouding your gaze, “what does that even mean?”
“can’t you feel it,” he says, guiding your hand to his chest, letting you feel the frantic rhythm beneath your palm, “the way my heart is beating, it only ever races like this because of you,” he confesses.
you swallow hard, barely finding your voice, “but you left,” you remind him, “why did you leave?”
his eyes flicker with something raw, something that’s been buried for too long, “because i couldn’t pretend anymore,” he says, voice shaking with the weight of it, “i couldn't go another day being your best friend–not when im so fucking in love with you that it hurts.”
his confession leaves you stunned and you can’t believe how blind you’ve both been. all these years of mutual pining, years of missed moments, of stolen glances and silent aching all leading up to this moment.
a tearful laugh escapes you, half breathless, half broken, “you’re a fucking idiot,” you whisper, voice shaking with the force of everything you feel, a mixture of love, frustration and the tenderness of finally hearing the truth.
with urgency, a quiet desperation, you pull him back in, leaning up to kiss him.
the kiss is slow but intense, full of everything you’ve both kept hidden, everything you’ve both wanted for so long.
jeno doesn't need to hear you say it. he feels it in the way your lips meet his, the way you kiss him like your very existence depends on it. he knows now that you’ve been waiting for this – waiting for each other, for the truth that was always there.
you deepen the kiss and jeno meets you with equal fervor, tongues moving with an ease that feels natural, as if it’s a rhythm you’ve both known forever.
you guide him towards you, steps slow but deliberate, until the back of your knees hits the edge of his bed, falling into the softness of his sheets, pulling him down with you, lips never once breaking from his.
pushing yourself up until your head hit his pillows. jeno follows your lips like you were magnets drawn together. he couldn’t get enough.
you pull on the hem of his shirt. jeno quickly tugs it off over his head, tossing it to the side, diving right back into you. the kiss is hungry, steamy, full of tongue, leaving you no room to breathe.
your fingers dance through his skin, feeling every muscle. jeno guides you to sit up, quickly finding the zipper in the back of the dress, sliding it off your body, leaving you in a lacy blue underwear that makes his cock twitch.
the dress didn’t warrant a bra, your breasts immediately exposed to the cool air, making jeno groan in satisfaction, his large hand latches on to your tit, loving the way it fits perfectly in his hand.
“you’re so beautiful, bunny,” he praises before his tongue circles against your sensitive nipple. he looks up, not wanting to miss your reaction. light, breathy moans spill from your lips, back arching at his touch, feeling every warmth he left behind.
he moved all throughout your body, taking his time, memorizing every detail, worshipping you with every brush of his lips.
his hand slip under your panties, wet and soaking for him. the familiar circles of his fingers on your clit immediately sends a wave of pleasure through you. you were already shaking, that fire inside you growing.
that delicious stretch of your pussy as he stuck two digits in makes your eyes roll back, overwhelming in the best way possible, a broken moan spilling from your lips. your hips move on their own, grinding on his hand, chasing that friction you can’t get enough of.
jeno has already memorized you. curling his fingers just right, dragging them against that spot that made your thoughts scatter, heat spreading through you so quickly.
“jeno—” his name left you as a gasp, pleasure building deep inside you. this time you knew what it was, “i-m coming,” you moan.
“i got you bunny, let me hear you” he whispered, his pace quickening, matching the frantic way your body moved with his touch, until you were spilling into his hand.
he coaxes you through it, littering soft kisses on your ear, along your jaw, down to your neck — making sure to leave a mark.
making sure everyone knew that you were his.
your eyes flutter open. there was still that growing fire inside you, burning hotter, higher. you needed more.
when you reach down for his belt, fingers clumsily fumbling at the buckle, urgency pushing you faster than your hands could manage, jeno snaps out of the trance he’s in, making his way back to your eyes.
“are you sure?,” he gasped, the words rushed, like he was forcing them out before he lost all sense of reason.
you nodded so fast, so desperate, “jeno, please.”
“we don’t have to do this, bunny, we can take it slow…i don’t want to rush you,” he panted, voice fraying at the edges. the thought of stopping absolutely wrecks him but you are more important than the desire spreading through him.
you refuse to wait any longer, you’ve already waited years. your whole body aches with the need you’d kept buried for so long. the need only he could fulfill.
“neno,” you whispered, voice trembling with need, “i want this…i need you.”
his resolve shattered at the sound of your plea.
“okay,” he breathed, kissing you gently before finally discarding his pants, boxers following suit, leaving him completely bare.
slowly, he removed your panties, the last remaining cloth between you. he reaches over his nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom and wrapping it on his hard cock, a grunt spilling from his lips.
“still sure?,” he searches your eyes for any signs of hesitation because if there was, even the tiniest one, he would stop immediately. no questions asked. no regret. no matter how badly he didn’t want to.
“so sure neno, it’s always been you,” you whispered, threading your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, letting him know that every single piece of you wanted him — heart, body and soul.
that was his final confirmation.
he kissed you once, slow and tender, before his hands roamed, leaving goosebumps that made you ache even more, “i’ll go slow,” he promised, voice thick with emotion “tell me if you need to stop, okay? at any point bunny, i’ll stop.”
you nodded, your heart hammering against your ribs so loudly you were sure he could hear it. fear and want and overwhelming love swirling in your chest.
finally, he aligned his cock against your hole, hand shaking slightly as he guided himself into you.
the stretch burns — it was nothing like his fingers, his cock was harder, thicker, fuller. and you’re not entirely sure if he could fit.
instinctively you tensed, eyes shutting close at the pain, a whiny hiss slipping from your lips.
jeno immediately froze, his thumb stroking soothing circles against your hip, “you’re doing so good, bunny,” he praises, forehead resting against yours, “breathe for me okay? we can take all the time you need,” he was so soft, so caring, so gentle.
your fingers tighten on his shoulder, just for a second, letting him know that you understood.
jeno fought to stay still, fought to put you first. but god, it hurts. you felt so good around him. so tight. so warm. he needed to move.
you forced yourself to relax, letting out a shaky breath and he pressed forward again, slower this time, giving you time to adjust to another inch of him.
“almost there, bunny, just a couple more,” he says softly, treating you like glass. you were so fragile. so pretty. your eyebrows furrowing in pain, lips parted slightly.
it hurt but it was jeno, and that made it bearable. your tight walls continued to adjust around him, molding to the size of his large cock.
with one final, gentle push, he was fully seated inside you, grunts spilling from his lips onto yours.
he stayed there, not moving, just breathing with you. trying to control his own desires. one hand cradles your cheek, carefully pushing away the hair that has stuck to your skin, “you’re amazing,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple, “taking all of me,” he continues praising, “so perfect, bunny.”
a few tears slid from your eyes. from the sting, from the love, from everything. jeno kissed them away with such tenderness.
“i love you,” you manage to whisper, his lips on yours in an instant, savoring it. the words makes jeno shift inside you.
that small burst of friction is enough to ignite the pleasure. it still hurt but you needed to feel it, to feel more.
and when you finally whispered, “move, please,” jeno felt like the air was rushing back in his lungs.
only then did he start rocking into you — careful, controlled, every movement meant to bring you closer to pleasure.
he angles his cock perfectly, each thrust sending a a wave of butterflies in your stomach. the pain slowly disappeared as your walls sucked him in, until you were only left with pleasure so mind numbing, you can no longer think about anything but the way the tip of his cock kept on kissing that spot that made you see stars. he was perfect.
“fuckkk bunny, you take me so well, pussy was made for me,” jeno grunts hopelessly. he was coming undone embarrassingly fast. for someone who was supposed to be an expert, you had him trembling, shaking.
it was different with you — he loves you.
every emotion hits him to the fullest. he feels you all around him. his rhythm starting to stutter, abs starting to clench as he tried to hold on to the remaining sanity he had left.
“you’re making a mess out of me,” he grunts, “please come on my cock,” he begs, whines, pleading for permission. his fingers finding your sensitive bud, rubbing slow but harsh circles.
you’ve never felt fuller. never felt more satisfied. that heat spreading down to your toes, your head rolling back in complete bliss as the high came crashing over you in breathy, broken moans of only his name — pussy immediately tightening around him, sending him to his own release as he spilled into the condom.
through it all, jeno whispered against your skin, grunts of i love you’s and praises hitting your ears in the most melodic way.
when you both calmed down, he pulled you into his arms, head resting on the heart that’s always been yours.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
you woke up to jeno’s brown eyes already staring at you, his fingers gently threading through your hair.
“good morning,” he murmured, eye smile on display and in an instant the memories of last night came rushing back, vivid and electric.
“good morning” you whispered back, both of you grinning like lovesick fools.
“how are you feeling?” he asks softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
you smile at him, “i feel amazing,” you say, leaning up to kiss him.
his hand on your waist is hard to ignore. as well as the bulge that’s currently hitting your inner thigh.
“shut up,” he smiles, cheeks flushing, “it’s not my fault i woke up next to my very hot girlfriend”
your eyes widen slightly, “girlfriend, huh?”
“mhm, is that okay with you, bunny?”
“hmm,” you pretend to think about it but the smile tugging on your lips betrays you, “sounds perfect.”
jeno pulled you in for another kiss, his smile pressed against yours. before he could deepen it, you pushed him down to his bed sheets, hovering over him with a gleam in your eyes.
“what are you doing?,” he rasped, the bold movement catching him off guard, making his breath shift, excitement coursing through his veins.
“girlfriend duties,” you smirk.
you littered kisses down his body until you were head to head with his cock, already flushed, thick and throbbing for you.
without hesitation, you licked a slow stripe up his length, tasting him, humming in satisfaction before wrapping your lips around his tip and taking in as much of his length as you could.
jeno watched you, his hands behind his head, a proud smirk on his face. and when you look up to make eye contact with him, his smirk fades into a helpless groan.
“fuck, you’re gonna kill me,” his hand instantly threading into your hair, bunching it up and pushing it out of your face. he wanted to see you. wanted to see your mouth around him.
you hollowed your cheeks and started to move, bobbing your head at that speed you knew he liked.
what can you say? you’re a quick learner.
his hips twitched, barely holding back from fucking your mouth.
every wet, obscene sound filled the room, and you loved the way he was falling apart for you, chest heaving, hands gripping you tighter. his grunts make you clench around nothing.
jeno came in minutes, gasping for your name as he struggled to breathe. his hot release shoots down your throat. this time, you swallowed every single drop, milking him dry, only pulling off when he whimpered from overstimulation, pushing your hand away.
“how the hell are you already so good at that?,” he groans, the aftershocks of his orgasm still hitting him.
“i have a really good teacher,” you chuckle, making your way back to him, kissing him, making him taste his own juices as your tongues battled for dominance.
jeno flips you over, roughly, quickly, the sudden shift making you squeal in laughter, as he settles in between your legs.
“your turn,” he says, voice low and dangerous.
his mouth immediately laps around you, licking, sucking, spitting — filthy and hungry. it was so messy, so wet, so crude, and yet it felt so so good. your head is spinning, heart racing, thighs trembling
you’re right there, at the edge, ready to fall — and then the door swings wide open. you shriek, arms crossing, immediately covering your chest just as jeno scrambles to hover over you, covering every inch of you with his large frame.
“jeno what do you want for break—?” jaemin barges in, stepping into the room like he hasn’t just shattered the moment.
“oh,” jaemin smirks, this situation extremely familiar, “i see,” he teases, tone dripping with fake innocence.
jeno’s entire body stiffens, his butt literally clenching as he growls, “jaemin, get the fuck out.”
he doesn't spare the boy a glance, focused only on making sure he doesn’t see any part of your body.
jaemin bursts out laughing, “alright alright, enjoy your breakfast,” he says before locking the door behind him and leaving the two of you alone.
the second he’s gone, jeno exhales a heavy breath of relief. you both lie there, faces burning red.
“i’m gonna kill him,” he mutters before the two of you erupted in giggles, your shared laughter harmonizing in the air.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
a week of being jeno’s girlfriend could only be described as pure bliss. the perfect balance of best friends and lovers. you were the power couple, always walking into the room like you owned it.
not much has changed between you two, you still tell him to shut up, he’s still dramatic, still the best of friends, except this time there’s a million shared kisses, lingering touches, whispered confessions and sex (lots of sex).
he’s unlocked something in you. something wild, primal, greedy — desire wrapping it’s hands around you. you can’t get enough of him. you craved him again and again and again.
and jeno was just undone, just as hopelessly in love. he thought his sex drive was bad before, it’s even worse now. every little thing you did triggered him — a smile, a glance, a soft laugh, it all sent him spiraling, desperate to have you. his need for you was overwhelming, a fire he had no intention of putting out.
he taught you how to touch yourself, you watched him masturbate. he kissed you in places you never knew were sensitive, made love to you in so many different positions, locations, each one leaving you breathless and trembling in his arms — making up for all the lost time.
today, when jeno walked into the library, he noticed your figure missing from your usual shared table. you were supposed to be here by now, you were always here at this hour.
his eyes quickly scan the space, feet walking around, searching every corner, every dusty nook, trying to find a glimpse of you. he finally spots you at the corner, tucked away in the back with the old shelves filled with forgotten books.
“what are you doing all the way over here?,” he asks, snapping your attention towards him, as he placed a soft kiss on your temple.
“just wanted a quieter place to read,” you feign innocence, picking up your book and pretending to be interested once more. jeno doesn’t question it, just pulls out the chair beside you and sits, his thigh pressed hard against yours. he pulls out his assignments, busying himself.
“neno,” you call out to him, a playful flicker in your eyes as you put your book down, “want to know a fun fact?,” you say.
he smiles at you, still unaware of what you had brewing in your mind, “sure, bunny.”
you lean in close, your chest brushing against his arm, “i’m not wearing any panties,” you whisper, only for his ear to hear.
he gulps, eyes quickly scanning the room, afraid someone was close enough to hear that. when he realizes you two were definitely alone, he finally takes in the fact that you were wearing a cute pink skirt, “fuck, are you serious?,” he whispers.
you shrug, “why don’t you find out?,” picking up your book, a playful grin on your lips, you flipped through the pages pretending to be interested, excitement bubbling inside you.
you didn’t have to tell him twice.
you flinched slightly when his cold fingertips first made contact with your thigh, slowly slipping underneath your skirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps. you barely had time to react before his fingers slipped between your thighs, urging them apart.
and when he finds you bare and soaked for him, jeno can’t help but let out a groan, his cock twitching in his pants.
you just started a dangerous game and he was eager to play. eager to ruin you in this public space. excited to watch you try and hide your moans.
“so fucking warm,” he muttered, fingers collecting your juices as he slowly swiped up and down your folds, making you feel every graze of his finger.
you grabbed the edges of the book, trying to stay calm, trying to act normal even as jeno slowly, deeply slid a finger inside you.
you choke on a silent gasp, disguising it with a fake cough and jeno finds it absolutely amusing. he has no plans of taking it easy on you, especially since this was your brilliant idea.
he moved lazily at first, curling his finger inside you, feeling every clench, every desperate little twitch of your body. watching you bite your lip as you tried to contain the moans that we’re begging to be released.
“good girl,” he murmured, kissing you on the temple.
his free hand picks up his pencil, as he continued to work on his assignment, like you weren’t falling apart under the table, “just stay quiet for me, yeah?,” he smirks.
you don’t even manage a response. afraid that once you open your mouth, a loud moan of his name would slip out.
he starts writing in his notebook, fingers still moving inside you, edging you on with every second. you shifted in your seat, hips tilting up without meaning to, chasing the rhythm he set. needing him to go faster — to finally take you there.
jeno knew exactly what you needed, even without voicing it. he adds a second finger, stretching you wider, making your eyes flutter shut, your grip on your book tightening, holding onto it as if it was your lifeline.
your boyfriend grinned cockily as he fucked his fingers into you.
you thought you were safe, hidden enough until you heard distant footsteps of someone wandering nearby.
your eyes immediately snap to jeno, silently begging him to stop as you tried to shut your legs close.
but his hand was too strong, keeping you open for his fingers, “you wanted this, you’re gonna take it,” he mumbles into your hair. he didn’t stop. in fact, his thumb brushed against your clit, harsher, faster.
you buried your head in your book, biting your lip so hard it hurt, but still a tiny strangled whimpered escaped.
the footsteps paused, just for a second.
you held your breath, heat traveling up to your head, jeno still working under your skirt. the danger of being caught made it even hotter. your pulse pounding loud in your ears, body burning under his touch. and then the footsteps continued, fading into silence again.
jeno chuckles under his breath, fingers thrusting deeper, faster, his thumb never leaving your clit.
“almost got caught, bunny,” he teased, voice low and thick with lust, “bet you’d love that, huh?”
the thought made you tighten incredibly around his fingers, orgasm crashing over you like a wave you couldn’t stop, body jerking slightly in the chair as you hunched over the table, hiding your moans in your arms, desperately trying to stay as quiet as possible.
jeno’s fingers continued to work you through it until you were limp against the table, panting softly.
he pulled his fingers out slowly, letting you feel every second of it. you already felt so empty without him. he brings his fingers up to his lips, sucking them clean with a soft, sinful groan.
you sit up, watching him, wrecked and cheeks flushed, your heart pounding so hard it was all you could hear, a small satisfied grin on your lips.
jeno leans in, kissing you gently. you taste yourself on his lips, then he smirks, that devilish smirk, whispering against your ear, “next time…you’re sitting in my lap.”
𓏲 the end.
—
18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: this is so lee jeno x bunny coded -> click here
—
an: posted this earlier than i planned because if i even spend one more day with this, i’m never gonna stop writing but ahhh i can’t believe my time with this couple is over, i love them so bad!!! i hope you loved them too!
marks story is up next! since he did technically win the poll — pls give me nickname suggestions for mark’s girl! i’m currently thinking kitty but im not 100% sold >.< — she’s going to be a little more feisty than the others! slide in my ask for suggestions or simply comment here! pls!
likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
tagging: @bluedbliss [if you would like to be tagged in future stories of this series, please let me know <3]
word count: 4k+ | genre: fluff, smut | featured couple: 🕷️🐈⬛
synopsis: mark finally convinces you to try period sex.
warnings: mentions of blood
↳ for this scenario specifically, mark uses the pet name: baby
you thought your cramps were supposed to get easier as you age, but you were learning that that was not the case at all.
every year just gets worse. bringing a new sort of pain — headaches that pound like hammers against your temples, diarrhea that leaves you weak and queasy, a fever that makes your skin flush hot and clammy.
but for this month’s cycle, the cramps are so bad, unbearable, like a vise clamping down on your lower belly, twisting and pulling without mercy. enough to completely shatter your strong exterior.
you’ve tried everything that usually helped — pain reliever. heating pads. chocolate. vapor rub. every curled up position your body could possibly do.
nothing is working.
mark usually loved it when you were on your period. two years together and it was the only time, really, besides nights where you get a little too drunk — that you let him baby you.
and he loves taking care of you. loves it when you need him, when you lean into his strength and let him soothe the storm inside you.
it’s been three hours of trying to find a solution — he’s fetched fresh hot water bottles, brewed herbal teas that taste like dirt, even massaged your back with those firm, knowing hands of his.
and still, the agony rolls on, wave after relentless wave.
“it hurts so bad,” you whine out softly, one hand squeezing his fingers, his knuckles white under your grip, the other pushing down on your abdomen, trying to relieve some of the pressure, a single tear rolling down your cheek.
“i know, baby,” mark says softly, not complaining even if your grip does stop the blood flowing in his fingers.
it annoys you. because he doesn’t know. he’s a man, for christ’s sake. he wasn’t cursed every month with this bloody ritual.
“no. you don’t,” you snap, curling yourself even tighter into a ball, knees drawn up to your chest as another cramp seizes up, sharp and unforgiving.
mark doesn’t argue. he never does when you snap like this. instead, he shifts closer on the bed, releasing your hand gently, only to slide his palm over yours where it presses against your stomach. his touch is warm, deliberate, fingers splaying wide to cover the aching spot.
“tell me what to do,” he murmurs, his breath brushing your ear, “anything, i’ll make it stop.”
you shake your head, biting your lip to stifle a sob, seeking comfort as you dug your head into his chest. the pain subsides for a second, just enough to let you breathe, but you know your body. and you know the pain will come back even stronger.
“i don’t know. it’s never been this intense. feels like…like something’s tearing me apart inside.”
he nods, his hand continuing the gentle massage.
mark’s always been like this — patient, attentive, gentle — especially when you’re vulnerable. it’s part of what draws you to him, this quiet devotion that makes you feel seen, even in your messiest moments.
he leans in, pressing his lips to your forehead, lingering there as if he could draw the pain out with a kiss.
“i know you don’t want to hear this,” he starts softly, his breath brushing your ear, “but maybe we should try it.”
you know exactly what he’s referring to — period sex.
apparently, according to the other girls, it works wonders.
mark has been trying to convince you to try it, for your own sake, though he can’t deny he’s also been a little curious on how it would feel.
but your flow was heavy, and all you could think about was the mess. you don’t see how it could make you feel better at all. the thought of blood everywhere makes your stomach twist even more.
“mark, no,” you mumble against his chest as you try to exhale the pain away, “it’s too messy.”
he doesn’t pull back, his hand staying warm and steady on your side, fingers pressing in gentle circles that eases the ache just a bit.
“i don’t care about the mess, baby,” he says, his voice soft and earnest, lips grazing your temple, “we can put down a towel. they say the orgasm can help with the cramps, release the tension, make you feel better.”
his words hang in the air but you’re still not convinced.
until another wave of pain hits, sharper this time, like a knife digging deeper into your gut. you groan in pain, your fingers gripping the front of his shirt so tight, he swears it’ll leave imprints of your nails etched into the fabric.
the cramps pulse relentlessly.
“fuck,” you hiss through clenched teeth, tears pricking your eyes again. you lift your head slowly, forcing your gaze up to meet his. he’s already staring down at you, his eyes soft and brimming with worry, brows furrowed as he brushes a strand of hair from your forehead.
“okay,” you breathe, your voice trembling, the pain making the decision for you.
“okay?” he echoes, his tone laced with gentle surprise, not expecting you to actually agree. its always been a firm no before. he searches your face, thumb stroking your cheek to wipe away the tear that escaped.
“yeah,” you nod faintly, desperate to feel some relief, even if it’s just for a minute, “we can try it but…be careful.”
mark’s smile is soft as he presses a quick kiss to your lips, “i’ll take care of you,” he says sweetly.
he slips off the bed, heading towards the bathroom, rummaging briefly before returning with a thick towel. he unfolds it once, then folds it again into a neat square, thick enough to catch everything without letting any blood seep through the sheets.
“lift up just a bit for me, okay?,” he’s all slow gentleness, his hand resting on your hip, guiding, as you manage a small arch of your back, wincing at the pull in your muscles. he slides the towel underneath with precise care.
once you’re settled back down, mark kneels beside you on the bed, his eyes warm and attentive as they meet yours.
this is new territory for both of you — the first time navigating intimacy during your period.
“we’ll go slow, we’ll figure this out together,” he murmurs, leaning in to brush another soft kiss against your forehead. you could cry from how gentle and understanding he was being.
his hands move to the hem of your shirt, fingers hooking gently under the fabric and he tugs it upward slowly, giving you time to change your mind. you don’t. you lift your arms in surrender and he peels the shirt off over your head, tossing it aside. the cool air of the bedroom kisses your bare breasts, already cooling down the heat surging through your body.
he shifts closer, settling his body half over yours without dropping his weight, one hand splaying across your lower abdomen. his palm is broad and steady, pressing with just enough firmness to ease the dull ache from your cramps. he starts rubbing slow, firm circles on your stomach, coaxing the tension to unwind.
“how’s that feel?” he asks softly, genuinely seeking your input as he tests the pressure.
you nod, a quiet sigh escaping as the pressure soothes the bloating pull in your belly, “it’s nice…keep doing that,” you whisper.
you shut your eyes as you try to focus on his touches instead of the lingering sting. he observes you with a smile, adjusting his touch slightly firmer where it seems to help most.
his other hand drifts upward, tracing the curve of your side before cupping one of your breasts. your nipples are already peaked, sore and sensitive from the hormonal surge of your period, and his touch sends a sharp spark of pleasure straight to you — stronger than usual, catching you both off guard as your body reacts, arching up towards his touch.
you pull him closer and he lets you, “markie, can you suck on it?” you whine, needy.
his eyes darken with desire, that soft markie pulling a low chuckle from him as he leans in closer. you rarely use the nickname — usually it was reserved for when you wanted your way.
except this time, you didn’t have to use it because that’s what he was planning to do anyway.
his lips brush against the swell of your breast, warm and teasing, before he takes your nipple into his mouth. he sucks gently at first, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud, drawing out a gasp from you as the sensation shoots through your body like electricity.
“this okay?” he murmurs against your skin, his voice muffled as he switches to the other side, placing soft kisses on your skin before sucking harder. his hand massages the one he’s just left and you arch into him, breath hitching.
you’re not really sure if the pain from your cramps has gone away or if you’re mind is just too distracted by the pleasure to feel it — either way, it was working.
“yes…don’t stop, mark,” you moan, your hands threading into his hair, fingers curling lightly at first.
the arousal builds fast, fueled by the hormones raging through you, and your hips start to shift restlessly against the mattress, seeking friction.
he notices it immediately, his free hand sliding down your side, over the curve of your hip and dipping beneath the waistband of your panties.
he doesn’t tug them off, just slides his hand in enough to reach your slick folds. you’re soaked already, a mix of your arousal and the period blood he could care less about, making everything slippery and warm.
two of his fingers find your clit, swollen and throbbing, and he starts rubbing slow circles, pressing just right.
“oh–”
he lifts his head briefly to observe your reaction — your eyes are still shut but this time your eyebrows weren’t furrowed so angrily and he knew it was working.
he dives back in without a word, sucking on your nipple while he adds more pressure on your clit, rubbing harder circles, your hips bucking up involuntarily.
the pressure coils tight in your belly, faster than ever, pushing you right to the edge. your fingers tug at his hair a little harder now, not rough but urgent, pulling him even closer.
“mark…i’m—” your words cut off in a breathless moan, body seizing in a quick, mini orgasm.
and for a second — you feel nothing but pleasure. the pain completely subsided.
he pulls back just enough to stare at you in awe, his finger still lazily circling your clit, drawing out soft whimpers.
“holy shit, kitten….that was so fast,” his voice is husky, amazed, a grin spreading across his face as he watches the flush creep over your skin.
“did it help?” he asks gently, his eyes searching.
“yeah,” you nod softly, still catching your breath, coming down from the short-lived high, “the pain was completely gone when i orgasmed.”
he nods, taking a mental note, his expression thoughtful yet tender as he presses a soft kiss to your collarbone, “and how about now?”
you pout your lips, and it’s just so cute to him, these rare moments where you don’t even try to hold everything together — his heart flips at the sight.
“it’s coming back,” you say, the slight twinge returning like a dull echo in your core.
“do you want me to keep going?” he asks, waiting for your cue, his gaze full of that caring intensity that always makes you feel safe.
“yeah…please,” you admit softly, your hand sliding from his hair to cup his jaw, drawing him back toward you with a needy pull.
mark smiles as he leans in, kissing you softly, his mouth warm and reassuring against yours, “i got you, baby,” he murmurs against your lips before he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes.
his hands move with gentle purpose, hooking into the waistband of your shorts and easing them down your hips. he removes your underwear next, revealing the blood-covered pad — no hesitation in his movements, no flicker of disgust crossing his face. the sight of the crimson stain doesn't faze him at all.
he loves you too much to care about something so natural, his focus solely on your comfort and pleasure.
he peels it away carefully, rolling it and setting it on the discarded underwear before placing the bundle aside to a spot out of the way.
you feel exposed yet safe under his gaze, the cool air kissing your bare skin as he shifts to strip off his own clothes. his shirt comes off first, revealing the familiar lines of his chest, then his sweats follow, cock springing free — already hard from the heat of the moment.
he positions himself between your legs, the mattress dipping under his weight, and guides his cock to your entrance, sliding the length down your folds in a slow drag.
the head parts your slick lips, coating itself in your arousal mixed with the bit of period blood, the warmth of it making him groan low in his throat.
“fuck, you’re so wet,” he breathes, his voice rough with his own desire, eyes locked on where you’re joining as he nudged the tip inside.
the intrusion is easy, your pussy welcoming him with a greedy clench, stretched and filled in one smooth thrust that has you gasping, walls fluttering around him.
“oh god, mark,” you moan, your hips lifting instinctively to take him deeper, the fullness chasing away the returning ache in your belly with a rush of heat.
it feels incredible, the slight messiness of it all only heightening the intimacy.
mark stills inside you for a moment, his cock throbbing against your inner walls as he searches your face, concern and desire etched in his features.
“how does that feel?” he asks, his voice low and husky, one hand stroking your thigh in soothing circles.
“good,” you assure him, the word coming out breathy, your pussy clenching around him in emphasis, “really good.”
he nods, a small smile tugging at his lips, relief flashing in his eyes.
“i’m gonna start moving,” he says softly, his thumb brushing your hip, “tell me if it’s too much.”
you nod, biting your lip in anticipation, your hands gripping his shoulders as he begins to pull back slowly, the drag of his shaft against your sensitive folds sending sparks of pleasure up your spine.
he thrusts in again, gentle and measured, testing the waters — your body is so responsive right now, every nerve ending alive, the period making everything feel stronger.
“still okay?” he murmurs, watching your reactions closely as he sets a languid rhythm, his hips rolling forward to bury himself to the hilt before retreating just enough to tease your entrance.
“mmm, yes,” you gasp, the stretch of him filling you so completely that it pushes the lingering cramps further into oblivion.
his pace picks up just a fraction, each slide in and out deliberate, his balls brushing against your ass with every deep push.
“you’re taking me so well, baby,” he praises, leaning down to press soft, wet kisses on the side of your face, along your ear, his breath hot against your skin, “so tight and wet.”
the slow build has you writhing beneath him, your clit throbbing with need, “faster,” you whisper after a few minutes, testing your limits, your nails digging into his back.
he hesitates for a beat, not wanting to hurt you.
“i can handle it—please, markie.”
again — you only use it when you want something. and he gives into it every times.
“tell me if you need me to slow down,” he reminds you.
and then his hips snap forward with more urgency, the pace quickening as he drives his cock deeper into your soaked pussy, the slick mix of your arousal and blood making every thrust glide effortlessly.
you gasp at the increased friction, walls clenching around him greedily, chasing the building pressure that erases the last echoes of cramps.
but the wetness is overwhelming — on one powerful stroke, his cock slips out entirely, sliding up against your clit and smearing more of the mess across your thighs.
“shit,” mark mutters, his voice rough with frustration and lust, grabbing his shaft to line up again. he pushes back in with a groan, the interruption only heightening your sensitivity.
your legs tighten around his waist as he resumes, faster now, his balls slapping against your ass with each plunge.
“don’t stop,” you beg, your voice breaking into a whine, hips bucking up to meet him, “i’m already close—oh god—mark.”
he grunts in response as he fucks you harder, his hands gripping your hips to angle you just right, hitting the exact spot he’s memorized.
another thrust and it happens again — his cock pops free mid-stroke, the head nudging your swollen folds before he curses under his breath and shoves back inside.
this unintentional edging hit you hard — your orgasm crashes through you without warning, back arching as waves of ecstasy ripple through you, walls spasming around his length, a raw, breathless whine escaping you, body seizing in bliss, fingers clawing at his shoulders.
it catches mark off guard.
he slows for a second, awe in his eyes, cock still buried deep and pulsing inside.
“you okay, babe?” he doesn’t pull out, just rocks gently to prolong the aftershocks, his own arousal evident in the way his cock twitches.
you were better than okay. the cramps are obliterated, replaced by pleasure. you don’t want him to stop.
“more,” you manage to say.
he chuckles breathlessly, resuming his rhythm with renewed vigor, pounding into you with short, sharp thrusts that make the bed creak.
the wetness causes a third slip.
“goddamn it,” he growls, determination flashing in his eyes as he adjusts his stance, dragging his cock along your slick entrance before slamming back in, refusing to let it happen again.
mark shifts his body, settling his full weight on you, his chest pressing against yours as he wraps his arms around your shoulder in a tight hug. he keeps his cock buried deep, only letting his hips rut forward in quick, shallow pumps, as fast as he can without sliding too far out.
the change is immediate — the constant friction turns into an intense vibration, his cock grinding against your inner walls with every rapid snap, the pressure unrelenting and electric.
you’re lost in it now, the mind-numbing pleasure blurring out everything else as he fucks you relentlessly. you cling to him desperately, arms locked around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, needing him to ground you amid the chaos of sensation.
words fail you completely — your mouth open in a series of ragged gasps and throaty moans, each one higher and more broken than the last.
mark's breath fans hot against your neck, his voice dropping to a rough whisper laced with dark intent.
“i should just put a baby in you—that'll definitely stop the cramps," he grunts, the words sending a forbidden thrill straight to your center.
your hormone-ravaged body betrays you instantly, pussy clenching hard around his buried length, fluttering in eager response as if begging for exactly that, waves of illicit heat flooding your veins.
“fuckkk, you want that, don't you, kitten?” he groans, feeling your tight squeeze milk him deeper, his hips stuttering for a split second before he drives forward harder.
no. you don’t want that. you and mark have discussed future plans before and having kids was way down the line.
but obviously your mind has lost and your body doesn’t agree.
the dirty promise tips you over the edge without mercy — your orgasm slams into you like a freight train, walls spasming wildly around his cock, squeezing him in vise-like pulses that draw a guttural moan from his throat.
you cry out wordlessly, a high-pitched whine breaking free as ecstasy rips through you, your thighs locking around his waist, body convulsing in his arms.
the intensity of your release pushes him right after you, his cock swelling inside your gripping heat before he thrusts deep one last time, burying to the hilt as he cums hard — hot spurts flood your pussy, mixing with your slick arousal and the faint trace of blood, his groans vibrating against your skin as he empties himself completely, hips jerking erratically through the waves.
he holds you close, chest heaving against yours, both of you trembling in the shared afterglow, the cramps long forgotten in the haze of sated bliss.
mark’s cock softens slowly inside your pulsing heat, still buried deep as his body relaxes against yours.
it takes him a few long minutes to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling steadily while he nuzzles into your neck. but you're even slower to come down from the high — your limbs heavy and tingling, waves of aftershocks rippling through your core, leaving you limp and dazed beneath him.
he doesn't pull out, just stays connected, arms cradling you close as he lifts his head to pepper your face with feather-light kisses — your forehead, your flushed cheeks, the corner of your mouth, each one tender and lingering.
his eyes stay fixed on you the whole time, drinking in the way your features soften in utter bliss, lashes fluttering against your skin as you drift in the haze.
finally, after what feels like an eternity of shared quiet, your eyelids part, meeting his gaze with a hazy softness.
“how are you feeling?” he asks again, thumb brushing your jaw, voice low and gentle, careful not to shatter the fragile peace.
a small smile curves your lips, playful despite the exhaustion, “how is this supposed to work, exactly?” you tease, your voice breathy and light.
his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, a spark of amusement lighting his eyes, “why? did it not work?”
you shake your head slightly, the motion sending a faint twinge through your body, though it's nothing compared to before.
“it works, but then the pain just comes back,” you explain, shifting just enough to feel him still nestled inside you, a comforting fullness.
“do we just keep going until you fuck me to sleep or something?” the words slip out bolder than you intend, laced with that teasing edge, but there's truth underneath it.
he bursts into a low laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against yours, “i mean…we could.”
“mark, be serious,” you protest, though a giggle bubbles up in your throat, your hands sliding up his back to trace lazy patterns on his skin.
he’s still chuckling, eyes crinkling at the corners, “i am serious, you almost fell asleep right now — a couple more rounds should get you there.”
you roll your eyes, but the idea settles warm in your belly, chasing away the lingering ache with a fresh spark of heat.
it doesn't sound half bad, not with him looking at you like that, all devoted and ready.
“can you even keep it up?” you challenge, arching a brow as your fingers toy with the hair at his nape.
the grin that spreads across his face is pure mischief, accepting the dare without hesitation.
“just give me ten minute breaks in between, i got you,” he smirks, earning a giggle from you.
before you can fire back another tease, he dips his head to claim your mouth in a deep kiss — slow at first, tongues tangling lazily as his hand slides from your hip to grip your thigh, pulling it higher around his waist.
it was going to be a long night.
ᥫ᭡.
you were asleep now. true to his words — mark did fuck you to sleep. each round built on the last until exhaustion claimed you. the relentless ache of your cramps completely gone in your dreamlike state.
while you sleep peacefully, mark moves with quiet efficiency.
he slips out carefully, not wanting to disturb your rest, gently grabbing the bloodied towel from beneath your hips along with your old pad and underwear.
without a second thought, he discards the pad properly and heads to the laundry room, tossing the towel straight into the washer.
he handles the mess — making sure you didn’t have to worry about anything when you wake up.
back in the bedroom, he rummages through your drawer for a fresh pair of underwear and a new pad, his touch feather-light as he gently lifts your legs one at a time to slide them on. then he wets a warm cloth in the bathroom sink and returns to clean you up. the soft fabric glides over your inner thighs, wiping away any lingering traces of blood and your combined juices.
he takes care of himself too, rinsing his cock until it's spotless, the water running pink for a moment before clearing.
satisfied, he dries off and pulls on his own boxers before sliding back into bed beside you.
you stir just enough in your sleep to sense his warmth, instinctively curling into his side — your head nestling against his chest, one arm draping over his waist as your leg hooks over his.
a contented sigh escapes your lips, and mark smiles softly in the dim light, wrapping his arm around you and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
🐈⬛
an: another loverboy extra? this quick? who would’ve thought! i’ve been in my mark feelings and literally abandoned everything else i was writing to write this lololol. i forgot how fast and easy it is to write when my parasocial demons are alive and kicking 😬🫢
word count: 4.7k+ | genre: fluff, smut | featured couple: 💘🪽
synopsis: jaemin navigates jealousy for the very first time. most of it a war in his own mind. and because of it, he does something else for the very first time too…
↳ takes place in flying kiss -> scene: bunny’s reveal party
“shouldn’t you get your girlfriend, jaemin?” mark asks casually, “i know that wonbin guy has a thing for her.”
jaemin just laughs, completely unbothered, the sound low and confident as he sips from his drink.
“nah, he doesn’t stand a chance,” he says, the dream boys around him chuckling in agreement, the easy camaraderie easing any tension before it can take root.
his eyes drift back to you anyway, watching as you throw your head back in laughter at something giselle said, your arm twisted around somi’s.
you’re a bit tipsy now, the alcohol making your movements loose and joyful, cheeks flushed as you sway gently to the beat. it’s why you don't really notice wonbin's advances — you're just having fun with your girls and currently playing matchmaker with bunny and her long time crush, sungchan.
the riize boys settle in deeper, sungchan and bunny inching closer, while shotaro pulls somi into a quick twirl that has her squealing. wonbin, though, keeps his focus on you, edging closer with that flirty smile of his. he comments on the song playing, his hand brushing your elbow and you nod along absently, more caught up in giselle’s exaggerated retelling of a disastrous date than anything else.
to you, it’s all harmless chatter. your relationship with jaemin is solid, happy, and secure — no room for wandering thoughts about anyone else here.
from across the room though, jaemin watches it all. his initial amusement fading into something sharper as wonbin doesn’t let up. the guy’s laugh rings out too loud, his fingers grazing your lower back when the crowd shifts, his gaze lingering a little too long.
jaemin’s jaw sets, an unfamiliar coil tightening in his gut. he’s never been a jealous person. but at this moment he’s learning that maybe the green monster lives inside him too.
he’s pissed that wonbin is even trying with you.
1) everyone in this damn university knew you were his. if it wasn’t for the public confession he shared through his radio show — then the amount of times he’s kissed you in public, held your hand, pulled you to his side, should have been enough.
2) what the hell happened to bro code?
every second his “bro” stays planted next to you makes something in jaemin’s chest tighten another notch. the audacity to even breathe in your direction is astounding.
his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, gaze darkening as he watches the way you tilt your head when you listen, the way you smile politely — and suddenly he’s hyperaware of how easy it would be for someone else to misunderstand that smile.
how easy it would be to want more.
his fingers curl tight around his red cup.
it’s irrational. he knows it is. you’ve never given him a reason to feel jealousy. if anything, you’ve always been so openly his that it makes his chest ache.
and then you catch his eye through the wave of bodies, flashing him that bright, sweet smile — the one that always hits him right in the chest, making his pulse kick up.
god, he loves that smile. it's his.
before he can move, you're the one closing the distance, weaving through the crowd with determination, your hand reaching for him as you pull him toward you, “baby,” you say, voice warm and playful over the music, tugging him into your space.
he watches you, amused, the irritation from moments ago melting under your touch.
“you having fun, my angel?” he asks, his free hand coming up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear, thumb lingering on your cheek as he leans in closer, the party’s chaos fading to a hum around you both.
“mhm,” you hum softly, the sound vibrating through him as your arms slide up to loop around his neck, fingers threading into the soft hair at his nape.
“why are you standing here all alone, though?” you ask, tilting your head up to meet his gaze, your breath warm and laced with the faint sweetness of whatever fruity drink you've been sipping.
jaemin’s mouth quirks into that teasing grin, his hands settling on your hips, thumbs tracing lazy circles over the fabric of your shirt, “my girl has been stolen from me and i was waiting for her to remember i existed,” he says, voice low and playful, though there's a flicker of a hidden edge in his tone.
your eyes widen in mock surprise, a giggle bubbling up as you lean in closer, “sorry,” you smile sheepishly, “—giselle and i were full on operation get bunny and sungchan together but then she started telling this story about this date she went on and—”
he doesn't let you finish, cutting you off with a kiss that's slow and deep, lips claiming yours in a way that silences the world around you. one hand cups the back of your head, fingers tangling gently in your hair, while the other pulls you flush against him, the heat of his body seeping through your clothes. you melt into it, kissing him back just as deeply.
when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours for a beat, “i was kidding, angel,” he murmurs softly, “you were having fun…you don’t need to explain that.”
but even as he says it, jaemin’s mind flashes back to wonbin's hand on your waist, the way the guy had leaned in too far. it’s stupid and he knows it — you're here now, wrapped around him like you belong, which you do.
still, the possessiveness simmers under his skin, a quiet burn that makes him want to stake his claim all over again, right here if he could.
“hmm, i want to have fun with you though,” you murmur, your voice a soft, teasing lilt that cuts through the war in his mind, fingers tracing heart shaped patterns on his chest.
jaemin's eyes sparkle with interest, his last remnants of irritation fading into the background.
“want to dance?” he suggests, hand already shifting to the small of your back, ready to lead you into the crowd.
you shake your head, a playful no, “a different kind of fun...just me and you,” you say, a small sultry smile forming on your lips, your gaze locking onto his with unmistakable intent.
the words hang between you, charged and electric — he knows exactly what that means, the way your body language shifts, pressing closer.
heat surges through him. he doesn’t hesitate, nodding with a low hum of approval as you take his hand, fingers interlacing with his and start guiding him away from the dance floor, weaving through the bodies of laughing friends and strangers as you head toward the stairs.
as you pass the group — giselle mid-story with somi and shotaro listening to her, sungchan and bunny off to the side — jaemin’s gaze lands on wonbin. the guy is standing there, drink in hand, his eyes flicking toward you with that same lingering interest from before, almost like jaemin was invisible to him.
jaemin can’t help it — he glares, sharp and unyielding, his free hand dropping to your waist instead, fingers digging in just enough to tighten his hold, pulling you flush against his side. he doesn't say a word, but his eyes say enough:
she’s mine.
wonbin meets the stare for a split second, then looks away, busying himself with his drink, the message received loud and clear. you don't notice the silent exchange, too focused on the warmth of jaemin’s body next to yours, the anticipation building with each step up the stairs.
the party’s noise dulls to a muffled throb behind the closed door of his bedroom, the space familiar and intimate. you release his hand only to turn the lock with a soft click, sealing you both away from the world below.
without a word, you both kick off your shoes like it’s routine. he sinks down against the headboard, his legs stretching out and you climb onto his lap, straddling him with effortless familiarity. his arms snake around your waist immediately, pulling you flush against his chest, clingy in a way that makes your heart flutter, hands roaming lazily up your back, providing you that comfort only he could.
you settle in, your head resting on his shoulder for a moment before you tilt up with a conspiratorial grin.
“i think operation get bunny and sungchan together is a total success,” you declare, your voice light and buzzing with the thrill of the evening’s gossip.
“is it now?” jaemin murmurs, his lips curving into an amused smile against your temple, clearly delighted by your enthusiasm. he nuzzles closer, his breath warm on your skin.
“yeah, didn’t you see them? they were standing so close—like, really close,” you gush, your eyes sparkling as you replay the moment in your mind.
“hmm,” he hums thoughtfully, “that’s too bad for jeno, though.”
you pull back slightly, raising a brow in curiosity. “what do you mean?”
he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he watches your expression, “he’s been in love with her since forever. i just don't think he knows yet.”'
your eyes widen, surprise flickering across your face, “really?!”
“mhm,” jaemin confirms with a nod, his thumb stroking soothing circles on your side.
“huh,” you muse, tilting your head as you process the revelation, “well, maybe this will finally help him see things clearly... though that's a little unfair to bunny, don't you think?” you pout, your lips pursing in that endearing way he absolutely adores.
he finds it utterly adorable, his chest rumbling with a quiet laugh, “and why’s that, angel?”
“becauseee…jeno's had all these years to figure it out, and it takes someone else giving her attention for him to wake up? i don’t know... she deserves more than that. someone who sees her right away, without needing a push.”
jaemin hums in delight, the sound vibrating through you where you're pressed together, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he drinks in your thoughtful expression.
“....unless you know something i don’t,” you add, prying with a playful nudge, eager for more of the juicy details.
he smiles, a fond, reminiscent curve to his lips, “you should’ve seen those two the start of freshman year. i used to watch them and wish i had something like that — real, effortless...the kind of connection that just clicks...if it doesn’t happen now, i’m sure it will eventually.”
“what changed then? why didn’t anything happen between them?,” you ask, completely absorbed.
“the whole party life got the best of us,” he replies with a wry shrug, his voice tinged with self-deprecating humor, “chasing thrills, avoiding anything that stuck. it was fun enough to get lost in.”
you hum softly, falling quiet for a beat, your fingers absently tracing the collar of his shirt as the weight of his words settles.
“do you miss it?” you ask, voice gentle, eyes searching his.
for a split second jaemin just stares at you, like the question itself is ridiculous. then he lets out a quiet breath and shakes his head no.
“not even a little,” his expression softens, something unguarded slipping through as he reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “i’m happy exactly where i’m at — with you.” his voice drops, intimate and sure, and before you can respond, he leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss that’s slow and sweet, like a promise sealed in the quiet.
it’s tender, his mouth moving against yours with unhurried affection, soft presses that deepen gradually.
in jaemin's mind, it hits him again, sharp and undeniable — how deeply he loves you, this easy rhythm you share, the way you fit against him like you were made for it, the way you look at him like he’s more than the image everyone else sees.
and how love like this doesn’t come without it’s uglier edges.
because with the warmth in his chest comes the quieter things too — the things he doesn't always like admitting to himself. like the sharp flicker of jealousy when someone looks at you a little too long, the instinctive pull to keep you close, to remind the world that you’re his.
it’s never loud. never reckless. jaemin has always been good at keeping those feelings tucked neatly beneath the surface. but they’re there.
the kiss heats up, growing hungrier as his hands slide under your shirt, palms warm and insistent against your bare skin. your breaths quicken, bodies shifting with building need, until he can't hold back anymore.
with a low groan, he swiftly moves you beneath him, his weight pressing you into the mattress as he hovers above, eyes dark with desire.
his body settles over yours, bracing one arm beside your head, his other hand cupping your cheek. the kiss breaks only for him to trail his lips down your jaw, nipping lightly at your skin while his fingers work the buttons of your shirt open, exposing your chest to the cool air of the room. you arch up into him, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the hard planes of his abs, urging him closer.
“you're so beautiful,” jaemin whispers against your collarbone, his voice rough with need as he pushes the shirt off your shoulders, tossing it aside along with your bra.
his mouth follows, kissing a hot path down to your breasts, his large hand squeezing the flesh before he sucks it into his mouth, drawing a gasp from you. your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him there as heat sparks through you.
his free hand grips your hip, thumb dipping under the waistband of your pants, an undercurrent of urgency in his touch, his breaths coming faster.
you tug at his shirt in response, and he pulls back just enough to yank it over his head, revealing the toned lines of his torso that you trace with your nails.
clothes shed in a hurried rhythm — your pants slide down your legs, his following suit until you're both bare, skin flushed and heated.
jaemin’s cock stands hard and thick against his stomach, the tip already glistening as he positions himself between your thighs, nudging them wider with his knee. he reaches down, fingers parting your folds to stroke his cock against your clit in slow circles, watching your face intently as you moan, your hips bucking up for more.
“jaem... please,” you breathe, your voice needy, and he groans at the sound, leaning down to kiss you deeply while he teases you with his tip.
“i’ve got you, angel,” he murmurs against your lips, his eyes locking on yours, dark and possessive, before pushing in slowly. inch by inch, he fills you, the stretch burning sweetly as your pussy adjusts to his size, gripping him tight.
you both sigh at the connection, his forehead resting against yours as he bottoms out, holding still to let you adjust to his length the way he knows you need to.
“feels so good,” he says softly, starting to move with shallow thrusts, his hips rolling in a steady rhythm that builds the heat between you. your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper, and he quickens the pace just a fraction.
but as he watches you — eyes half-lidded, lips parted in pleasure, soft moans of his name slipping past them, your breasts bouncing with each gentle snap of his hips — something twists in his chest.
the jealousy surges back, uninvited, hot and sharp.
wonbin thought he could have this? get you like this? see you writhing under him, moaning his name?
the thought fuels him, his thrusts turning harder, deeper, his hand gripping your thigh to hitch your leg higher, angling so he hits that spot inside you with every drive.
you cry out, nails digging into his shoulders as the shift catches you off guard, pleasure spiking.
“jaemin—oh god,” you gasp, doing your best to meet his movements, your pussy fluttering around his cock.
he growls low in his throat, the sound primal as he pounds into you, the bed creaking under the force.
no one else gets this. you’re mine.
his free hand pins your wrist above your head, his mouth claiming your neck with bites that will surely leave marks, sucking hard enough to bruise. the possessiveness drives him, each slap of skin against skin echoing his frustration.
fuck that guy. this is what you look like for me. and only me.
his hips snap relentlessly now, his cock dragging against your walls in a way that has you clenching tighter.
“jaem—,” you whimper his name as the ecstasy builds way too fast, coiling low in your belly, your legs shaking at the force.
something was different. sure, you weren’t strangers to rough sex, but even when it was rough, jaemin usually liked to take his time with you. liked to accompany his rough thrusts with praises and soft kisses. right now, he’s being too quiet. no whispers of sweet nothings. just frustrated grunts spilling from his lips, his eyebrows furrowed.
he grips your ass, lifting you slightly to fuck you even harder, the head of his cock brushing your cervix with each plunge. sweat slicks your bodies, his muscles flexing as he chases the edge, watching your face contort in bliss, your fingers clenching around his arm desperate to keep yourself grounded.
his hand slips between you, rubbing your clit frantically, and you were an absolute goner.
“come for me,” he rasps, his own control fraying, the jealousy morphing into fierce triumph.
he’ll never know how you feel, how you sound when you shatter.
you cum hard, mouth open in a silent moan, eyes shut in bliss, your pussy clenching incredibly tight, warm juices coating his cock.
the sensation undoes him. jaemin buries himself to the hilt, a guttural moan escaping as he cums inside you for the first time, hot spurts flooding your walls, filling you deeply, marking you in the most intimate way — it’s new. this feeling of him releasing entirely within you, his usual caution forgotten in the heat of the moment.
you’ve been on birth control since early in your relationship, so it doesn't worry you, but he’s always been so careful — always choosing to wear a condom or pulling out to spill across your stomach instead.
he collapses forward, chest heaving against yours, both of you panting in the heavy silence broken only by fading breaths.
after a moment, he rolls to the side, pulling you into his arms with a possessiveness that lingers even now. his hand strokes your stomach lazily, but you can sense the remnants of that edge in the way he holds you close, like he's anchoring himself.
you nestle against his chest, tracing patterns on his skin as your heart rate slows, the warmth of his cum inside you a tangible reminder of the difference tonight.
“that was... different,” you murmur softly, tilting your head to look up at him. “and you... you came inside me. everything okay?”
jaemin pauses, his fingers still tracing lazy circles on your back. he forces a smile, the corners of his mouth lifting, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes — the usual warmth dimmed by a shadow you recognize all too well.
“nothing's wrong... just couldn't help myself,” he says, his voice light, almost playful, as he leans in to brush his lips against your temple.
you shift slightly in his arms, propping yourself up on one elbow to search his face more closely, “jaemin... we promised we’d always tell the truth,”you remind him gently, your hand cupping his cheek, thumb stroking the line of his jaw.
he sighs, a deep, reluctant exhale that ruffles your hair, his gaze dropping to the sheets tangled around your legs before meeting yours again. the confession tumbles out like he's testing the words.
“i... i got jealous,” he admits, the admission rough around the edges, his brow furrowing as if the emotion itself puzzles him, “wonbin was all over you down there — his hand on your back, leaning in too close. and i just...i don't know what to do with it. i've never felt like this before. it's stupid, right? everyone knows you’re mine, but seeing him touch you like that... it pissed me off."
his hand tightens on your hip, pulling you closer as if to reaffirm the words. you can feel the tension easing from his body as he lays it bare, his usual confidence giving way to this unfamiliar territory.
and he knows it’s not about control. not really. it’s just that loving you this much does something strange to his instincts. it makes him protective in ways he never used to be. makes something territorial stir quietly in his chest.
meanwhile, a secret thrill courses through you at his confession, the raw edge of his jealousy making your heart flutter in a way you hadn't expected. it’s endearing, seeing the confident jaemin unravel just a bit over you, and a tiny smile tugs at the corners of your lips despite the seriousness of the moment.
he notices immediately, his head tilting as he cocks an eyebrow, that familiar playful glint trying to push through the lingering tension, “are you enjoying this?” he asks, his voice laced with mock accusation, though his hand still rests softly on your hip, thumb brushing over your skin.
before he can say more, you lean in and pull him into a deep kiss, your lips molding against his with a softness that contrasts the earlier urgency.
when you break away, your breath mingles with his as you murmur, “now you know how i feel with your fanclub.”
jaemin lets out a genuine laugh then, the sound rumbling from his chest and easing the last of the green from his eyes. he shakes his head, pulling you even closer so your bodies align perfectly.
“angel, that’s different,” he says, his tone affectionate and reassuring, fingers weaving into your hair, “you know i only have eyes for you.”
you smile back, the expression warmer now, your voice dropping to a softer whisper as you trace a finger along his collarbone, “it’s not different because i only have eyes for you, too.”
the words hang in the air between you, simple yet profound, sealing the vulnerability with a quiet promise. his gaze softens completely, understanding, and he presses a lingering kiss to your forehead.
the intimacy lingers in the air, your bodies still pressed close in the aftermath, his warmth enveloping you like a promise.
you shift slightly against him, feeling the subtle twitch of his cock stirring back to life, and a playful pout forms on your lips as you meet his gaze.
“now fuck me properly, won't you? that ended too fast,” you murmur, your voice a teasing, adorable whine.
jaemin’s eyes darken with renewed hunger, but a soft smile curves his mouth, affectionate and knowing.
he doesn’t rush this time — instead he guides your leg over his hip so you're facing each other in a close spoon, bodies aligned perfectly, his chest to yours. his hand slides down your thigh, gripping firmly as he positions himself, his hard cock fully against your slick folds. the tip teases your entrance, rubbing back and forth through your wetness before he pushes in slowly, inch by thick inch, stretching you open with a deliberate gentleness that makes you gasp and arch into him.
“fuck, angel,” he groans low, his breath hot against your ear as he bottoms out, his hips flush against yours.
you sway your hips in rhythm with his, matching the unhurried but deep thrusts that rock you both together, his cock dragging along your walls with every slide.
“just like that, angel, look at me.”
his free hand snakes between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, thumb pressing firm, insistent circles over the swollen nub, making your pussy clench around him in response.
he watches you the entire time — his gaze locked on your face, intense and unwavering, drinking in every flutter of your lashes, every parted gasp and moan from your lips. he loves watching you like this, utterly consumed by him, your body responding only to his touch.
“god, you take me so perfectly,” he murmurs, voice rough with desire, his thrusts picking up a fraction, grinding deeper to hit that sensitive spot inside you that sends pleasure up your spine.
the build is slow but electric, his cock plunging in and out with wet, obscene sounds filling the room, your juices coating him as you rock together. your hands roam his back, nails scraping lightly, urging him closer.
“only you can fuck me like this,” you whisper breathlessly, locking eyes with him, your words a soothing balm to his earlier jealousy, “only you make me feel this good — filling me up just right.”
his response is a deep, possessive growl, hips snapping forward harder now, the passion igniting as he claims you with each thrust.
he grunts, thumb circling your clit faster, pressing down to make you whimper and buck against him. your bodies slick with sweat, he leans in to capture your mouth in a soft, deep kiss, tongues tangling as he fucks into you with building fervor, the spooning position allowing him to grind his pelvis against your clit on every inward stroke.
“god, jaemin, yes — right there,” you moan into his lips, pussy fluttering around his thick length, the coil in your belly tightening unbearably. he doesn't let up, pounding deeper.
it's too much — the tight circles on your clit, the way his dick hits every nerve, the sweet words and little sounds he’s making by your ear — your orgasm crashes over you with no warning, walls clamping down hard on him, milking his shaft as you pull him in closer, trying to ground yourself, body shaking, thighs trembling.
he doesn't falter, thrusting into your oversensitive pussy as he chases his peak, the wet slap of skin echoing louder.
“shit, you feel so good clenching like that,” he grunts, forehead pressed to yours, sweat dripping between you.
you encourage him through your haze, legs wrapping tighter, “cum inside me again, baby — only you get to mark me as yours.”
that pushes him over the edge for the second time — his rhythm stutters, hips grinding deep one last time before he buries himself to the hilt and erupts, hot ropes of cum flooding your walls, coating you thoroughly as a guttural moan tears from his throat, holding you pinned against him, his cock twitching with each spurt until he's spent, pulsing inside your heat.
he stays buried deep, his arms wrapping around you protectively as the aftershocks fade, the room filled with nothing but your shared breaths and the profound connection that no one else could touch.
as the waves of pleasure subside, jaemin remains nestled deep within you for a lingering moment, his body heavy and sated against yours, the warmth of his release seeping into your core. your breaths slowing from ragged gasps to soft sighs.
with gentleness, he eases out of you, his hand stroking your thigh in a soothing caress. he reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a handful of tissues, his touch tender as he wipes away the evidence of your shared passion.
“sorry for being too rough earlier, angel,” he murmurs, his voice laced with quiet remorse, eyes searching yours with a mix of affection and concern, “i just... needed you so much tonight.”
you tilt your head, pressing a tender kiss to his damp forehead, your fingers threading gently through his tousled hair, “i love you,” you whisper.
he lifts his gaze to yours, eyes soft and shimmering with unspoken emotion, a smile blooming slow and radiant on his lips.
“i love you more,” he murmurs back, his voice a velvet caress, sweeter than honey as he nuzzles closer.
with a contented hum, he pulls you into his embrace, his head finding solace on your chest. his ear presses against your heartbeat, steady and reassuring, while his arm drapes possessively over your waist, legs tangling with yours in a lazy knot.
the world fades entirely, leaving only this.
and the jealousy may come again. but he knows it would never be enough to overshadow the love. just enough to remind him how much there is to lose.
🪽
an: finally, a loverboy extra for you! notice how i didn’t say sunday? lol yeah…i could not keep up with that :( sorry…i flew too close to the sun with that idea. anyways the second sex position is inspired by benophie iykyk ;) let me know what you think of jealous jaemin 💘
𝜗𝜚 welcome to the dream fraternity! seven dreamy boys, seven absolutely cheesy love stories where you’re the main character! warning: you might hate yourself during the process…but what’s love without a little chaos?
contains 18+ content
I. STUPID CUPID
pairing: fuckboy! na jaemin x secret identity! reader
synopsis -> mr. cupid — anonymous radio host. running the #1 most popular radio show on campus. famous for his thoughtful advice and classified as a true hopeless romantic. na jaemin — photography major, the sweet fuck-boy. described to be affectionate and gentle…but don’t fall for his tactics! once he’s done with you, he’s gone with the wind. your best friend unfortunately happened to be on the receiving end of this. what happens when you find out that the anonymous radio host is none other than na jaemin himself? sweet revenge.
𝜗𝜚
II. FLYING KISS
pairing: childhood best friend! lee jeno x nerd! reader
synopsis -> you and lee jeno go way back, as in diapers and all that. before he was known as the chill fuckboy, he was an all time nerd! just like you! tired of being a loser who can’t even get the guy you wanted, you badly needed tips and a makeover. who’s better to ask for help than your childhood best friend, who has proven that a nerd can be sexy?
𝜗𝜚
III. SORRY, HEART
pairing: friends with benefits! mark lee x tutor! reader
synopsis -> sex helps him focus. focus he needs for your tutoring sessions. it was a win-win for mark lee when you proposed to add a stress-relief session to the schedule. the favorite fuckboy and the girl who doesn’t believe in love equals the ultimate friends with benefits set-up. it’s the perfect dream team! but uh oh…it seems like mark has been shot by cupid’s arrow. will mark survive all of your attempts at pushing him away?
𝜗𝜚
IV. IRREPLACEABLE
pairing: enemy! lee haechan x ex bff! reader
synopsis -> lee haechan, theatre major, absolutely hated your guts. you felt the same exact way. the only girl in this whole university that hasn’t fallen for the most popular fuckboy’s charms. which is why it sucks that you have both landed the main roles in the theater’s upcoming play, romeo and juliet. what was that saying about love and hate being a thin line?
𝜗𝜚
V. MY FIRST AND LAST
pairing: bff! zhong chenle x fake gf! reader
synopsis -> zhong chenle, the lowkey fuckboy, captain of the basketball team, doesn’t believe in romance. flowers? chocolates? handwritten letters? ew. too cheesy. but he can’t seem to shake this crazy girl off of him so he goes to you, his best friend, cheerleading captain, for help. will you be his fake girlfriend? sure. the catch? it has to be believable so for the first time in his life he buys the flowers and the chocolate and writes the handwritten letters.
𝜗𝜚
VI. BREATHING
pairing: fuckboy! jisung x convenient gf! reader
synopsis -> park jisung has sworn off love after being cheated on. he’s been doing a really great job breaking hearts and not looking back. the boys are worried that they’ve taken fuckboy101 too seriously and have now created the ultimate fuckboy. this conversation was heard by your group of friends who never backs away from a challenge. and so the bets are on: get the ultimate fuckboy to fall in love with you and you’ll get $125 from each friend. deal?
𝜗𝜚
VII. I HATE FRUITS
pairing: fake bf! renjun x best friend’s gf! reader
synopsis -> huang renjun, the fuckboy by association, couldn’t care less about romantic relationships. he’s perfectly fine with being single — prefers it, actually. when he accidentally drops a box on your head and you wake up with temporary amnesia, he’s forced to finally take care of a person other than his own self. what’s worse? you think he’s your boyfriend.
authors note: this is a work of fiction only and should not be taken seriously. the way the dream boys are portrayed in these stories are obviously not a representation of who they are in real life. thank you and have fun reading!
⏦゚♡︎ likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
if you enjoyed this series and would like to show extra love and support, my ko-fi is open <3
pairing: enemy! hyuck x ex bff! reader | genre:rom-com | words:29k+
synopsis -> lee haechan, theatre major, absolutely hated your guts. you felt the same exact way. the only girl in this whole university that hasn’t fallen for the most popular fuckboy’s charms. which is why it sucks that you have both landed the main roles in the theater’s upcoming play, romeo and juliet. what was that saying about love and hate being a thin line?
warnings -> i lost count of how many times i used the word hate and all it’s synonyms, pet name unlocked: princess, so much arguing, both of them have major communication issues!, so many side characters i hope you know all of them, too many musical references +18, crude humor, language, mentions of: parties, alcohol, reader gets drugged, drunk calling, so much smut i kinda got carried away! thigh riding, slight exhibitionism, very rough sex, hyuck is a dom bottom who lovesss boobies, dry-humping, use of whore and slut, choking, slapping, oral (m+f), fingering, car sex, dirty dirty dirty talk!
an -> the fourth installment of the loverboy series is yours! i’m gonna be honest, i’ve never gotten through romeo and juliet without falling asleep. i did force myself to watch the movie just for this though! and i took a nap in the middle lol. disclaimer! i know nothing about the theater world, i just like musicals! important things to note: 1) haechan is the most popular fuckboy - everyone loves him, he’s charming and funny and he’s not afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings if he needs to 2) all three couples jaemin x angel; jeno x bunny; and mark x kitten are all happily together! have fun reading! - with love, c.
“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath, the words bitter on your tongue. behind you, the hallway erupts with cheers, laughter, congratulations, celebration of their dream roles. you should be one of them. be as elated, as ecstatic, jump around and cheer for landing the role of one of the two protagonists.
but all you could focus on was the name above yours.
your stomach twists, fists clench at your sides. the letters blur for a second and you blink rapidly, as if reading it again will somehow make it go away. you don’t have to turn around to feel him – that distinct, arrogant presence that always makes your skin crawl. the air arounds you tightens, turns electric, suffocating as he steps up beside you, your shoulders instinctively stiffening like your body was preparing for war.
haechan doesn’t say a word first, just reading the cast list you’ve been cursing at for the past fifteen seconds.
then he scoffs, “what the hell?,” he hissed venomously, before ripping the sheet off the bulletin board, crinkling the edge between his fingers like it personally offended him.
“hey–!,” you snap, breaking from your stunned silence, spinning on your heel to follow him as he storms across the hall like a live grenade looking for somewhere to detonate.
“mr. doyoung!,” his voice cracks through the hallway like a thunderclap, “this has got to be a mistake!”
there it is. that infuriating, entitled tone, like the spoiled, arrogant bastard he’s always been. always louder. always assuming the world should rearrange itself around him. you roll your eyes so hard it hurts, but for the first time in a long time, you actually agree.
“yeah, there’s no way, in hell, you can make me act opposite of him,” you bite out, folding your arms tightly across your chest as you come to a halt beside him. your voice is sharp, clipped, every word aimed to kill as the two of you glare at each other like two predators forced into a cage.
his eyes glint with the same smug cruelty he’s weaponized against you, “then drop the part,” he sneers, that damned smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “save us all the agony.”
you scoff, “if anyone’s dropping out, it should be you.” you step closer, close enough to feel the anger radiating off of him. your noses are inches apart, breaths sharp, shallow, matching like clashing rhythms.
his eyes narrow, “not in a million years, princess,” he spits. the nickname laced with the kind of condescension that makes your blood boil — the same nickname he gave you when you first met in freshman year of high school. it used to hold playfulness until junior year when he used it to spite you, calling you a spoiled, whiny brat in front of all your classmates.
“i. hate. you.” you hiss, slow and deliberate, as if saying it any softer wouldn’t do your fury justice.
“not as much as i. hate. you,” he fires back instantly as if he’s been waiting to say it.
and you know you both mean it. every syllable.
the silence between you is razor-sharp, about to break into something neither of you will be able to take back until mr. doyoung finally claps his hands together, far too enthusiastically.
“ahhh, exactly the kind of fire i’d expect from my two star crossed lovers,” he beams, though there’s a flicker of panic behind his eyes for the future of his play, “so much...raw emotion, i’m sure you’ll channel it beautifully!,” he smiles that bunny-like smile. you both turn to glare at him.
mr. doyoung’s smile falters, “orrr maybe i’ll add a few extra rehearsals. just in case.”
you want to scream. you want to throw the script in his face. you want the ground to open up and swallow him whole. transport him somewhere far away from you where you would never have to see him again. instead, you glare at him and know this is going to be war.
ཐིཋྀ the first week of rehearsals
the rehearsal room smells like dust and desperation. the air is heavy, slow, stale and every time the fan completes it’s rotation, it just blow more disappointment into your face.
but none of it compares to the static crackling between you and him.
“i’m not doing that,” you snap, backing away from haechan like his presence is physically repulsive, “if he touches me like that again, i swear to god, i’m walking out.” there’s something about the way haechan put his hand on your waist, not even hard, not even long, that makes your whole body go tight, defensive.
“jesus christ,” haechan groans, dramatically running a hand through his already disheveled hair as he paces like a caged animal, like the floor can somehow absorb his frustration, “it’s called blocking and i’m supposed to stand there. it’s the scene. what are you? an amateur.”
the both of you hate each other but you both knew you were far from amateurs. especially in the theatre world. you were always part of the main ensemble, so was he. it’s almost ironic how you never saw it coming…that one day you would land a role opposite his.
you glare daggers, “it’s called basic respect for personal space, not an invitation to grope me,” you shoot back, matching his volume now, hands on your hips, “and you didn’t follow the mark. you were supposed to take one step forward, not three and a half and a hand on my waist.”
“that’s literally where romeo touches juliet. in the script,” he grits out, teeth clenching, “ever heard of it?,” his eyes flash, jaw tight.
“i’ve read it,” you snap, voice rising in heat, “i just don’t think shakespeare imagined romeo groping juliet like a frat boy.”
“groping?,” he repeats, incredulous, “you’re delusional. talk about overreacting, as if i would ever want to grope you.”
you glare, “at least i can act.” it’s petty. it’s low. but it lands. you see the spark behind his eyes flare into flame.
he barks out a laugh that’s so disbelieving it echoes, “that’s rich coming from you. every time i look at you, you look dead, let me remind you juliet is still alive in this scene.”
“maybe because looking at you makes me want to jump off the balcony and actually end it myself!,” you yell, voice going an octave higher with every word.
you hate him so much. hate the way you act when he’s around. you’re not usually like this. you’re calm, sweet, a walking ray of sunshine. but when he’s around. it’s all a mess.
“okay, ENOUGH!”
mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the room like a whip, his usual patience obliterated, stepping between the two of you like a human peace treaty, “you are juliet,” he says to you, “-and you are romeo,” he turns to haechan, “i don’t plan on changing any of the cast so if you two don’t find a way to sell the illusion that you’re in love, this entire show is going to be a very expensive dumpster fire.”
neither of you speak. too busy glaring at each other, like eye contact alone might ignite spontaneous combustion. mr. doyoung sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “let’s just…try the balcony scene again. from the top. no improvising. no suicide jokes. just the lines. please. for the love of theater.”
you both reluctantly take your marks, haechan looks up at you, a few feet above the stage, perched on a rickety prop balcony that feels two screws away from collapsing, wobbling under your feet.
he takes his place below, casting a look up at you that’s less romantic longing and more barely restrained murder. then he begins, voice flat, eyes dead, “but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? it is the east, and juliet is the sun.”
you blink slowly, unimpressed, “really?,” you call down, loud enough to make mr. doyoung’s eye twitch. “that’s your romeo? he sounds like he’s reading from the terms and conditions page,” you insult.
“i’m projecting,” he says defensively, like the word justifies everything.
“you’re projecting boredom,” you deadpan, “romeo’s in love, not filing a complaint with customer service”
“oh, i’m sorry,” he stays stepping forward with mock enthusiasm, “it’s hard to sound passionate when i’m looking at someone who constantly has a resting bitch face.”
“you’re such a dick!,” you snap from the balcony.
“and you’re nothing but a spoiled brat!”
you both shout over each other. mr. doyoung lets out an almost feral scream and hurls his clipboard across the stage. it hits a chair and ricochets loudly, silencing the room. the rest of the cast sharing multiple side-eyes.
“end of rehearsals!,” he bellows, voice cracking with pure, unfiltered despair. you don’t need to be told twice. you turn on your heel and storm off the left side of the stage without looking back. you don’t need to. you can feel him heading the other way, like magnets forced apart.
and yet, even as you leave the room, you can still feel him…under your skin, buzzing through your veins.
ཐིཋྀ the second week of rehearsals
mr. doyoung looks like he’s aged ten years over the week. his clipboard is cracked down the spine, his coffee has gone cold, and his voice has taken on the strained edge of a man dangling off the brink of a nervous breakdown — there has been absolutely no progress when it comes to his leading actors.
he watches, again, as the scene falls apart. you stand center stage, shoulders stiff, delivering your lines like someone reading a grocery list and haechan was delivering his like a stand-up comedian doing shakespeare for drunks.
“you know what?,” mr. doyoung finally snaps, his voice cracking under the strain of suppressed rage, “i’m done. i’m tired of the two of you wasting everyone’s time.” you and haechan glance at each other with deadpan synchronicity and immediately roll your eyes in perfect unison. the only thing you can do in sync.
“i’m not going to waste one more minute pretending this is salvageable until you two get your shit together,” he pulls a key from his pocket, walks toward the back rehearsal room and without warning, yanks the door open, “get in.”
you hesitate. so does haechan. but mr. doyoung’s eyes blaze with the quiet fury of a man who has nothing left to lose. before either of you can protest, he herds you both into the cramped rehearsal room, walls lined with mismatched props and discarded costumes. he slams the door shut behind you, the sound of the lock clicking echoing through the space like a death sentence.
“you’re going to spend the next hour locked in this room. read the lines, build chemistry. i don’t care how you do it but make sure it works or i swear to god i will cast freshmen in the lead roles and let the whole show burn,” he instructs from the other side, his footsteps retreating down the hall.
mr. doyoung knew the two of you too well, both too proud, too consumed by your own egos and the thrill of performing. you didn’t just want to act, you wanted to outshine, to dominate every scene. all it needed was a little push, to finally get you where he wants.
“great,” you mutter, crossing your arms as you lean against the wall, “trapped in a room with you, it’s just like high school all over again.”
haechan stares at you like he’s seconds away from choosing violence, “believe me princess, i’d rather be stuck in a room filled with plague-infested rats than be here with you.”
“let’s just get this over with so we can get out of here,” you roll your eyes as you both grab your scripts. tension hanging like a thundercloud.
“deny thy father and refuse thy name–,” you start.
“maybe try not sounding like you’re ai,” haechan cuts in, already annoyed, tone drenched in mockery.
your eyes narrow, “this is ridiculous,” you mutter, slapping the script onto a table, “he really thinks chemistry can be forced?”
haechan scoffs, “it’s not chemistry that’s the problem. it’s you.”
you spin toward him, a furrow on your features, “right, because the way you butcher romantic lines make the audience swoon.”
“i’m sorry, have you ever heard yourself say ‘oh romeo, oh romeo’ without sounding like you’re a fucking gps?”
your voice rises, “god, you’re not even trying to act like you’re in love with me!,”
“maybe because the idea makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs,” he snarls, stepping closer.
“you are the most arrogant!,” you take a step closer, voice rising, veins protruding, “most infuriating–”
you don’t see it coming.
one second you’re shouting at each other, chest heaving, veins on fire and the next, his hands are tangled in your hair, mouth crushing yours like a threat – the kiss is messy. too much teeth. zero warning. absolute chaos.
you shove him off, lips bruised and tingling, breath ragged, eyes blown out, “are you fucking insane?!”
haechan looks like a deer caught in headlights, eyes flickering with something wild, shock and hunger all at once, but before he can register what he just did, you grab his shirt and pull him down into another kiss – twice as hard, all tongue and fury and years of pent-up hatred combusting between your teeth.
it’s not romantic. it’s war.
he stumbles back into the worn chair and you follow, climbing into his lap and straddling his thigh like you’re still trying to win. your skirt rides up as your knees settle on either side of his leg. hot, wet core pressing against the thick line of muscle beneath you, haechan’s own gym shorts bunching up on his thigh and for the first time, you’re both quiet. just the obscene sound of mouths and breath and friction echoing throughout the room.
your hips rock forward, slow at first, then harder. a needy, broken sound slips past your lips, making his cock twitch in his shorts.
“god,” he breathes into your jaw, “i would’ve done this years ago if i knew it’d finally shut you up,” his lips trail down your jaw, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses.
“you’re such a cocky piece of shit,” you hiss, panting against his mouth, hips still rocking into his thigh.
“and you’re still a brat,” he growls, gripping your waist like he might lose his mind otherwise, “but fuck–keep doing that.”
“i hate you,” you growl against his lips as you continue to ride his thigh anyway. like the words would justify any of this.
“you’re grinding on me like you don’t,” he says smugly.
“shut up.”
“make me.”
you do. you pull his hair and kiss him again, tongue in his mouth – filthy, hot, tangled. the pressure builds fast, molten and sharp. your tits brush his chest, perky nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your white shirt, his hands hot and demanding on your ass. he whines into your mouth and it’s almost enough to make you lose yourself entirely. you pick up rhythm, shameless and hungry, the movement hitting that perfect, aching spot.
haechan loathes how hot you look right now. on top of him, leaving a wet trail all over his leg, tits bouncing to the rhythm you’ve set. and he hates how his body is betraying him even more. absolutely despises the way all his blood is surging straight to his cock.
your nails dig into his shoulders, clutching him like an anchor as your rhythm stutters, speeding up then slowing down as pleasure starts to overtake logic.
“fuck,” you pant, lips brushing his, breath hot and ragged, “i’m gonna–”
“keep going,” he groans, voice whiny and hoarse, almost broken, “don’t stop, just—fuck—,” both of you lost in the heat and pleasure taking over.
his fingers dig into your hips with bruising intensity, like he’s holding on to the last thread of control. his eyes clamp shut, forehead dropping to your shoulder as his breath stutters, shallow, ragged, desperate. he’s completely still for half a second…then a full-body shiver runs through him.
you feel it. the tension. the collapse. the sudden hitch in his breath against your neck. the way he curses under it, low and broken, “shit.”
you freeze, then pull back just far enough to see his face. his eyes are blown wide, pupils drowning in dark, cheeks flushed with something that looks a lot like shame.
“did you just—” you whisper, half breathless, half cruel, hips slowing into a lazy roll meant only to taunt. you’re grinning now, wicked and disbelieving.
“shut up,” he mutters against your skin, but his voice is wrecked. gone. the edge of humiliation bleeding through.
your eyes drag over the heat in his cheeks, the tension in his jaw, the way he refuses to meet your gaze and a laugh slips out, breathy, stunned, “oh my god. you did.”
he glares at you, face still flushed, every muscle taut like he’s deciding whether to deny it or destroy you for saying it. his pride was fraying, splintering – and then his hands fists in your hair, yanks your mouth back to his, eyes darker now, sharp with something feral as he regains his voice “i didn’t tell you, you could stop,” he growls, voice a low snarl against your lips.
then he takes over — in a blink, haechan’s hands clamp down on your hips, commanding your every grind, gripping like he’s trying not to completely lose it again. his mouth latches on that exposed skin above your breast, hot and unrelenting, teeth scraping, tongue following like he wants to mark you. wants you to hate yourself at the reminder of his lips on your skin.
his thigh flexes beneath you, on purpose this time, pushing up against you with just enough force to make you gasp, completely wiping away that smug he despises.
he hates you. god, he hates you. hates how every little thing you do sets off something in him, a chain reaction he can’t control. every movement, every breathy sound wrecking him in ways he’ll never admit.
“fuck, haechan,” you whine, shutting your eyes in pleasure, forehead pressed to his, “don’t stop.”
his breath catches, you’ve never said his name like that before, so raw, so needy, so desperate. it short-circuits something in him.
“wasn’t planning on it,” he mutters, voice low. he rolls your hips faster and faster, practically bouncing you on his thigh. the chair below you creaks but you barely hear it over your own wrecked breathing.
“you’re such a fucking slut, princess, hating me and getting off on my thigh like this,” he smirks, completely taking over the situation now. the words shouldn’t turn you on more. but they do. your body responds before your brain can catch up, lighting up like a match thrown onto gasoline. you can’t stop. you don’t stop. your fingers claw into his shoulders for balance as you grind down harder, breathy whines slipping in between your heavy breathing, entire body on fire, like every nerve has been rewired to respond to him and only him.
“go on princess,” he taunts, voice low, filthy, infuriating, “use me. i’ll let you,” he mocks like you should be grateful. like this is a gift. like he isn’t the one who came untouched in his shorts.
you hate it. you love it. you hate him.
“say it,” you pant, lips grazing his, breathless and daring.
his eyes are on fire, “say what?”
“that you hate me.”
his mouth curls into that cocky, devastating grin that you want to slap and kiss at the same time. “i hate you so fucking much,” he groans against your lips, swallowing the noise you make like he’s starving for it.
then his hand dives under your skirt, fingers rough and urgent, dragging your panties to the side. you don’t stop moving, continuing to ride his thigh, chasing that high. the press of skin against skin pushes you over the edge. you cry out, not caring if there was a chance mr. doyoung was listening in. the room’s spinning, heat rising like a fever. the tension in your stomach ready to explode.
“god,” you choke, voice cracking, “i’m gonna come on your fucking leg.”
his eyes darken, hands gripping tighter as he bites your earlobe with just enough force to run shivers down your spine, “do it,” he hisses, words like sin against your ear, “paint it.”
then his thumb finds your clit, circling harsh, precise circles. and it’s over. your whole body tenses, hips grinding down, breath catching, head tossed back, lips parted in a soft, stunned moan as pleasure rolls through you like a slow explosion. it seizes you from the inside out, heat blooming behind your eyes, your limbs trembling where you straddle him.
haechan swears under his breath, jaw tight, eyes darkening and locked on you like he’s watching something unholy and holy all at once. you slump against his chest, breathless, spent, your hands still clutching the collar of his shirt like it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality. he doesn’t say anything at first, just holds you there, heartbeat loud and frantic under your palm. his thigh still twitching from the aftermath.
eventually, you pull back enough to look at him. his hair’s a mess. his mouth is swollen. there’s a stunned, reverent look in his eyes that he tries, and fails, to cover with a smirk like he’s not sure what the hell just happened. and you’re sure you look the exact same way.
“well,” you breathe, blinking slowly, “that was…”
“method acting” he says, but his voice is hoarse, “completely professional, shakespeare would be proud.”
you let out a stunned laugh and shove his shoulder, “i still hate you.”
“and i, you” his mouth curves into that smug smile that you swore was glued onto his face.
“this isn’t happening again.” you say it sharp, sure.
“wouldn’t dream of it, princess,” he smirks, cocky and vexing.
ཐིཋྀ the third week of rehearsals
the rehearsal space feels different now. it shouldn’t. the floor is the same scuffed black, taped up with the same blocking marks you argued over last time. mr. doyoung is still barking notes from behind his clipboard, a coffee in one hand and a red pen in the other.
everything is the same. except you. except him.
the space between you used to be poison. now it’s something else. it crackles with something hotter, wilder, like dry air before a thunderstorm. charged and dangerous.
neither of you dares to speak of it. admit it.
you haven’t touched since that rehearsal, not so much as a brush of fingers. you haven’t spoken about what happened but your body hasn’t forgotten. neither has his. every glance feels like it could combust on contact. every time your eyes meet across the room, you feel the memory of his mouth. the way he kissed you mid-scream, like anger was just a mask for hunger. the way your hips rocked against his hard thigh. the way you both hated it, and how much worse it was that you enjoyed it, too.
you’re not proud of it. you try to ignore it. try to act normal. professional. just two enemies pretending to be in love. no big deal. you’re adults. adults can handle unresolved sexual tension and violent mutual resentment…right?
“y/n and haechan,” mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the static in your head. your eyes snap up, heart thudding against your ribs. you grit your teeth.
the “and” makes your skin crawl. you hate how he says it. your name first. then his. like a pair. a duo. like you belong together.
“let’s run the balcony scene again,” mr. doyoung continues, “and this time, try not to fight.”
you let out a slow, measured breath and glance down at your crumpled script. the words blur for a second before snapping back into focus. you know them already. every line, every pause, every look juliet gives romeo – you practiced it all week.
what you don’t know is how to stand next to haechan without remembering what he sounds like with his breath ragged and your name tangled on his tongue. you almost want to start a fight, just to get out of doing this scene.
your pulse stutters before you even lift your head, because you can feel him. the weight of his stare from across the black box stage. for once, he doesn’t open with some smug quip or insult. he just gives a nod. subtle. almost respectful. almost.
you arch a brow, eyes narrowed, finally looking his way. he doesn’t smile. doesn’t smirk. just murmurs under his breath as he steps into place, “don’t look at me like that,” he says under his breath, “i’m trying not to hate you for five minutes.”
“gee, thanks,” you mutter, stepping into position.
you move to the edge of the mock balcony, script still clutched like a shield. but the words feel heavier now. the scene begins. your voice is steady because it has to. because this is theatre.
“o romeo, o romeo…”
you read the lines. and somehow, a true miracle, you don’t argue. not once. he doesn’t interrupt. you don’t roll your eyes. there are no snarky remarks or insults coming from you or him. the tension is still there but it’s different. sharper. controlled. like both of you have locked it in a cage between your ribs and are desperately pretending it isn’t rattling to get out.
when the scene ends, there’s a pause.
then mr. doyoung claps his hands together, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock, “holy hell, that was almost convincing! what the hell did you two do, blood sacrifice? therapy? drugs?”
your mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
how do you tell your theater director that the only reason you and your sworn enemy can tolerate each other on stage is because you both got so angry you rode his thigh until you both came?
you can’t — neither of you answers. you just look at each other, both of your cheeks pink, heartbeat in your ears. you swallow hard as haechan clears his throat awkwardly before hopping off the platform.
but that strange, dangerous something hangs in the air. the same something you both refuse to acknowledge — you feel it every time he walks behind you and your back stiffens instinctively. you feel it when his shoulder brushes yours just a little too closely and you pretend not to notice. you look at his mouth a second too long when speaks. he looks at your legs when you pace the stage and quickly looks away.
neither of you says anything. you’re fine. it’s just a normal rehearsal. nothing happened. nothing is happening.
except it is.
and it becomes extremely evident when you’re packing up and someone from the ensemble cracks the wrong joke at the wrong time. you bend to shove your script into your bag and that’s when it happens.
“hey, princess,” someone snorts. you’ve hated that nickname since high school but hearing it from someone else makes your entire body go rigid, “you should really wear something under that skirt besides that black underwear, especially when you’re on that balcony.”
the entire room doesn’t go silent, no one else seems to be paying attention. but your blood roars too loud in your ears. slowly you turn, eyes narrowed at one of your castmates, sunwoo.
you were ready to fire back, eyes already in flames, mouth locked and loaded with a kill shot but before you can open your mouth, haechan’s already moving.
he steps in front of you like it’s instinct. shoulders squared. voice cool, but laced with venom, “say that again,” he says.
sunwoo blinks, caught off guard. haechan was always the first to rag on you, the first to poke until you snapped. he wasn’t supposed to be the one stepping in.
“relax, romeo,” the boy scoffs, “it was a joke–”
“no, go ahead,” haechan interrupts, his voice icy and his smile even colder, “say it louder. maybe you’ll get downgraded to the role of annoying extra who gets their teeth kicked in.”
the threat is quiet. clean. almost polite. but it lands like a fist. sunwoo stares for a second too long, then backs off with a bitter chuckle, “whatever you say, romeo,” he retreats towards the exit.
you’re left staring at haechan, confusion flickering all over your features, “what the hell was that?,” you demand.
he shrugs like it was nothing, like it was completely normal to threaten someone on your behalf, “no one gets to talk to you like that.”
your brows furrow, more confused than ever, “you talk to me like that.”
“exactly,” he says, looking you dead in the eyes, “that’s my job.”
there’s a pause. your heartbeat kicks up. you hate him. you want him. you hate that you want him. and he’s looking at you like he knows every thought you’re having—and is thinking the exact same thing.
you scoff and shove past him, muttering, “asshole.”
his voice follows behind you, low and maddening and far too close, “don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”
you whip your head over your shoulder, cheeks burning, “excuse me?”
“you heard me.”
the dressing room hallway is dim and too quiet now, everyone else has already left. you stop just short of the bathroom door, hearing his footsteps closing the space behind like a slow hung. you don’t look at him. you can’t. not when your skin is already betraying you with how hot it feels.
you shove the door open. he’s right behind you.
it shuts behind you with a sharp click. neither of you speaks. not for a beat. not for two. then you both move at the same time. instinct, gravity, need. whatever the hell it is.
it’s not a kiss. not right away. it’s a clash of bodies, of mouths, of breaths and need and denial imploding all at once. your back slams into the wall, his hand protectively behind your head as yours curls around his neck. you’re both too close and not close enough. teeth graze lips. fingers tangled in fabric.
“you’re so fucking annoying,” you whisper, jaw clenched, forehead pressed to his.
“yeah?,” he breathes, voice rough. his grip tightens on your waist, grinding you against the hard line of him through his jeans, “well, you’re cute and it’s pissing me off.”
“tell me you hate me,” you snarl, like saying it might make this feel less like surrender.
“i do,” he growled, voice thick with fury and something worse, something hungrier. his fingers were already sliding beneath your skirt, knuckles brushing your thigh and your body can’t help but react, arching into his touch, “so much, i can’t think straight” he spits, right before he tore your panties clean in half with a sound that echoes in the tiny room.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?!,” you shoved at his chest, just enough to prove you could. just enough to pretend you didn’t want this. enough to pretend your pride was still intact. like the heat slicking between your legs didn’t mean a damn thing. he was so goddamn hot. so infuriatingly, sinfully hot.
“you’re such a fucking whore,” he snapped, eyes burning into yours, “you knew we were rehearsing the balcony scene and you only wore this underneath,” he holds up the torn fabric like evidence, his smirk pure sin, “you did this for me, didn’t you, princess? wanted my attention that badly, huh?” his voice dripped venom, but his pupils were blown wide, starved.
“you wish,” you shot back, lifting your chin, daring him.
he chuckles, low and lethal, before lifting the torn fabric to his nose and breathing you in like he needed to live.
“you’re sick in the head.”
“and you smell so fucking sweet,” he murmurs, voice dark with need. then, without hesitation, he tucks your panties in his pocket and sinks to his knees like he was praying at an altar, his mouth finding you fast and filthy.
“fuck-” your head tipped back as your fingers clawed for purchase on the edge of the sink next to you, the other tangled tight in his hair, anchoring yourself to the madness he dragged you into.
he groaned into you like he was starved, tongue moving with filthy precision, like he’d mapped you out in a dream and now he was just following directions. you tried to keep quiet, tried to bite your lip, swallow your noises, not wanting to give him any gratification, but when he sucked on your clit like he wanted to ruin you, a sob tore from your throat.
“couldn’t stop thinking about your moans,” he rasps between licks, voice wrecked.
“shut the fuck up,” your hips bucked against his mouth before you could stop yourself.
he laughs into your cunt, the vibration sending lightning up your spine as he licked into you harder, tongue fucking in and out of your entrance. you tug his hair so hard he groans again and you hated how much that sound made you clench.
this is insane. this is toxic. this is absolutely the best head of your life.
“i’m gonna, fuck, if you don’t stop, i’m gonna come,” your panting now, legs shaking. the only thing holding you upright is his grip on your hips.
“good,” he growled, dragging you down further onto his tongue, “fall apart for me, princess.”
the nickname sounded hotter, echoing in your mind, pushing you to your limit as your legs trembled, thighs clamping around his head and then you’re unraveling – moaning, shaking, coming hard on his tongue.
he moaned into your slick, like your orgasm was his reward. like he was addicted to it. your nails scraped down the porcelain sink, the high-pitched whimper that left your throat is so humiliating, so raw, it almost didn’t sound like you.
when you finally loosened your grip on his hair, he pulled back with a wet, obscene sound, mouth glistening.
“still hate me?” he asked, licking your taste off his lips.
you're trembling, panting, mind spinning and completely undone,“more than ever.”
“good,” he said, standing to his full height. his hand curled around your jaw, thumb pressing hard against your bottom lip until it parted, “then you won’t mind if i choke you with my cock.”
you didn’t answer, but your lips stayed open. and that was all the consent he needed. with one hand, he undid his belt, the clink of metal sharp in the silence.
“on your knees,” he ordered, voice dark, deadly. you roll your eyes before you can stop yourself and the defiance crawls under his skin like static. you were so fucking irritating so he grabbed a fistful of your hair and made you, forcing you down until you were kneeling in front of him on the grimy bathroom floor.
face mere inches away from his cock – thick and heavy in his hand, already leaking for you.
“you’re gonna pretend you don’t want this too?” he asked, stroking himself slowly, deliberately, right in front of your mouth.
you hated him. you hated how beautiful his cock was. you hated how your mouth watered.
“fuck you,” you whispered.
“you wish,” he sneered, “now open that pretty, lying mouth, princess,” he slapped his cock lightly against your lips. and you hated how fast you obeyed.
he slid in with a deep groan, slow at first, savoring the heat of your tongue, the way your lips closed tight around him like you were starved for it. his fingers twisted in your hair, guiding your pace, slow, then faster, then rougher, like he was punishing you for every fight you’d ever started.
“look at you,” he snarled, hips snapping forward, “on your knees sucking my cock like it’s all you’ve ever fucking wanted.”
you moaned around him, which only made him twitch harder. he started fucking into your throat with a filthy rhythm, panting, groaning, praising and cursing under his breath.
“take it. come on, princess,” he growled, pushing in impossibly deeper, it felt like you were swallowing him, “-that’s it, fuuuck, just like that.””
your eyes watered, mascara smeared, spit pooling at the corners of your mouth as you gagged and gasped around him. your hands clutched his thighs, not sure anymore if you were pushing him away or pulling him deeper. he looked down at you with a snarl twisted into something almost reverent.
“you’re a fucking dream,” he growled, “wrecked, ruined, all mine to destroy.”
you wanted to slap him. you wanted to make him come so hard he saw stars — so you sucked harder.
his grip tightened in your hair, knuckles white, cock throbbing against your tongue as your head bobbed faster and faster, taking him deeper each time. your jaw ached, throat burned, eyes ruined, spit smeared your chin but you couldn’t stop. not when he was unraveling like that above you. not when his control, his cocky, unbearable composure, was finally cracking.
“fuuuck, y/n,” he groaned, hips stuttering, “y-you’re so fucking good,” he praises, letting out a guttural noise, halfway between a growl and a whimper, and you realized with vicious satisfaction that he was close. desperate. needy. whining like his life depended on it.
you looked up, tongue swirling, and the second your teary, ruined eyes met his, he broke.
“shit, f-fuck,” he slammed deep one last time, cock pulsing against the back of your throat as he came, hard and hot, filling your mouth like he’d been holding it back for days. his whole body shuddered. he cursed again, holding you there, breath ragged, chest heaving like he’d just climbed out of hell.
you swallowed every drop without breaking eye contact. then slowly, so slowly, pulled off him with a slick pop, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like it was nothing. his eyes were still half-wild when he looked at you, dilated, glassy, like he wasn’t fully back in his body yet.
and yours? flat. cool. detached. or at least trying to be. trying to pick up the pride you let fall. trying to regain the control you easily handed over to him.
you stood, straightened your skirt, ignored the way your knees trembled a little and the way your legs threatened to give out. across from you, he tucked himself back into his pants in silence, hands shaking just slightly as he buckled his belt, your ruined panties peeking from his back pocket.
for a beat, the bathroom was silent, except for your shared breaths and the buzzing of fluorescent lights. then, like flipping a switch, you caught your reflection, instantly reminded of who you were, where you were, who you were with and what you just did. you hate him even more.
you patted your hair back into place, calmly pulling yourself back together and fixing your flushed lips and smeared mascara.
“no one finds out about this,” you said, tone flat, dismissive, like he hadn’t just unraveled inside your mouth.
“please,” he scoffed, lip curling, “i’d rather die than have people know i let your mouth anywhere near my cock.”
your gaze sharpened, but you didn’t flinch, “good,” you muttered, already moving toward the door, head high, ignoring how the air kissed your bare core with every step.
“wait,” his voice halts your movement, before you turn towards him, eyes already sharp, ready to cut.
“what now?,” you snap back. he didn’t answer at first, just shrugged off his jacket. takes three swift steps and he was in front of you, tying it low around your waist with the kind of ease that made your breath hitched.
“your ass bounces with every step, princess,” he said, lips brushing your ear.
you opened your mouth to respond but then he reached into his back pocket, pulled out your torn panties, and with a cocky smirk, stuffed them into his bag, “and this way, we’re even.”
for once, you had no words. you just pushed the door open and walked out. no thanks, no glances back, no trace of the filthy thing you’d just done. you moved through the hallway like your throat hadn’t just been fucked raw. like your pussy wasn’t still throbbing.
and a few seconds later, he followed, jaw tight, eyes dark, body calm, as if nothing had happened. as if he wasn’t still tasting you on the tip of his tongue. as if he wasn’t replaying the sound of your moans in his head.
as if the both of you hadn’t tasted your sworn enemy… and liked it.
ཐིཋྀ the fourth week of rehearsals
the script lay forgotten between you, crumpled in his sheets, its margins scribbled with notes and crossed-out lines. you’d barely made it halfway through act ii before the space on his mattress started feeling too tight. too hot.
you were supposed to be practicing. you were supposed to be fixing what you both ruined in week one. all the wasted rehearsals you spent glaring each other down, aiming snarky remarks instead of script lines.
instead, you were staring at the curve of his throat as he leaned back on his elbows, lips parted, legs spread just wide enough to make you clench. to make you remember how his leg felt between your thighs. and he was staring at you with that same dazed and cocky look. the one full of invitation, almost challenging you to do something about it. the one that says i know you want me too.
“focus,” you snapped, even though your voice sounded thin and you’re not sure whether the word is directed towards him or yourself, your hold tightened around the script like it could stop your traitorous hand from reaching out and doing something that’ll completely crush your ego.
“i am focused,” he murmured, dragging his gaze down over your bare legs, over your thighs, and resting, boldly, in the space between them. you could feel it, the phantom heat of his stare on your skin.
you snapped your fingers, “eyes up here, romeo,” you crossed your arms, “we promised mr. doyoung we’d take this seriously.”
haechan raised a brow, amused, “we’ve been taking it seriously for two weeks, look at us, i literally let you in my room just to rehearse.”
you narrow your eyes at him, “you say that like being in here is a reward.”
he smirks, “c’mon princess, let’s not lie, a million girls would kill to be in your spot right now,” a cocky grin on his face. you wanted to wipe it off. slap it away. kiss it away. you’re not too sure at this point.
“what? sitting on these bed sheets that you haven’t changed in weeks? the smell of axe body spray attacking their nostrils?,” you roll your eyes.
“i change those every week and i don’t even use axe, you must be smelling yourself,” he rolls his eyes.
“please, if i reeked of desperation and cheap cologne, i’d be you,” you shoot back, chin lifted, proud of the way his smirk faltered for half a second. you’ll never admit the way you secretly enjoy the smell of his cologne, the way it intoxicates you like a potion pulling you under a spell.
he sits up a little straighter, elbows propped on his knees now, eyes glinting with an infuriating mix of challenge and amusement. “desperation?,” he echoes, voice low, “princess, if anyone here’s desperate, it’s you. you’ve been eye-fucking me since you got here.”
your breath catches, partly from the audacity, partly because he’s not entirely wrong. but you recover fast, “please,” you scoff, “you’re the one looking at me like i’m your last meal.”
haechan laughs, head tilted back. he taps his fingers against his knee, a thoughtful little rhythm that drives you insane before leaning in again, “okay, fine. you wanna be serious? let’s be serious.”
you raise a brow, “that’d be a first for you.”
“let’s fuck.”
your brain blanks. for a second, it doesn’t even register, “what?!”
“lets just do it. get it out of our systems,” he says casually, like what he suggested wasn’t completely, absolutely, batshit crazy. “all this tension? it’s messing with rehearsals. so let’s just…,” he gestures vaguely between you, “rip the bandaid off. hate-fuck it out.”
you blink, trying to process his words. this had to be a joke. a dare. a trap, “you’re suggesting we sleep together for the sake of the theater department.”
“i’m suggesting we do everyone a favor and stop letting whatever this is,” he gestures again, less vaguely this time, at the very obvious, very mutual heat between you, “sabotage our performances. one time. no repeats. no weirdness.”
“oh there’ll be weirdness,” you mutter, folding your arms, your heart pounding in your throat.
“not if we’re adults about it,” he grins. that infuriating, boyish, charming grin, “can you be an adult, princess?”
you laugh, incredulous, “you? be an adult?, you still giggle when someone says ‘enter from the rear’ in stage directions.”
“okay, first of all, i see you laughing too,” he points a finger at you, that same stupid smirk still glued to his face, “second of all, im serious. we fuck and then we go back to being bitter enemies who can’t stand the sight of each other. clean slate.”
you stare at him, heart thudding, thoughts spiraling. it’s a terrible idea. the worst idea he’s ever had. but what’s even worse is the fact that you’re actually considering it.
“and what if you realize im the best fuck you’ve ever had and start following me around like a lovesick puppy?,” you quip a brow, a teasing smile on your face.
he barks out a laugh, cocky and careless, “never gonna happen, princess,” he says, leaning in so close you can feel the heat of his body radiating, “you’re not that good.”
you raise a brow, “that’s rich coming from someone who came untouched.” his expression darkens instantly, smirk faltering, the memory clearly still a bruise to his pride. you take this time to garner control and with no warning, you lunged — kissing him hard, desperate, sharp, messy. your teeth caught on his lip. you kiss him like he’s your last cigarette, like he’s something you have to burn through just to breathe.
he responds immediately, groaning into your mouth, hands flying to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, like he needed to leave fingerprints there.
you straddle him, fumbling with his shirt, dragging it up and over his head and shoving him backward until his back hits the bed with a grunt, “still think this is a good idea?,” you breathe, throwing your shirt over your head, leaving you in a lacy brown bra that makes his cock twitch in his shorts.
he props himself on his elbows, gaze dark and fixed on you as you strip, “no,” he says, eyes raking over your body like a challenge, “i think it’s the best idea i’ve ever had.”
your signature skirt rides up as you grind down against his hard bulge, enough to make him hiss.
“i still hate you,” you murmur, needing to remind yourself every single time.
“good,” he growls, thumbs digging into your waist, “say it again when i’m inside you.”
his voice grates in your ear. so smug. so loud. you slap him before you can think. not too hard, just enough to make his jaw twitch. he stares at you, stunned for half a second and then he smirks again, “god, you’re such a fucking brat.”
you slap him again, slower this time, deliberately, and he groans like everything about this turns him on. “you like that?,” you whisper, grinding harder now, testing him. he doesn’t answer, he refuses to give you any words of satisfaction.
instead his hand slide up your back, unhooking your bra with a practiced flick, the cool air hitting your hardened nipples before his large hands cupped around them, squeezing, mouth immediately latching on one nipple. he’s been wanting to see your tits since you were locked in that tiny room. and now that he has, he sucked like he was in complete bliss, eyes shut, wet and eager, tongue messily painting your breasts. you gasp, hands coming up to grip his hair, pulling him closer as your hips continue its slow grind against his hard, clothed cock.
“fuck,” you moan, every nerve lighting up. you’re soaking through your panties, whole body vibrating. you bounce harder, using him to reach your high as he continues worshipping your breasts with his lips, trails of his saliva littering your chest. his large hands make their way to your ass, cupping and squeezing but not controlling. not yet.
he lets you hump him harder and harder, trying to control the breathy whimpers slipping from him as he busies himself in between your breasts. your breathing was getting heavier, legs starting to give out, the friction was hitting your clit so perfectly and before you knew it, your orgasm washes over you, unexpected and all-consuming.
“look at you,” he murmurs, that damn smirk back again, breath hot against your ear, “already fucked out and we haven’t even started.” before you could reply, before you could argue, he flips you in a blur, pinning you to the mattress. his eyes are dark now, dangerous.
he yanks your skirt and underwear off in one go, leaving you completely bare for him. you looked so small in between his sheets and it drives him madly insane, “i’m only gonna say this once,” he says, eyes raking over your naked body, voice rough, “but fuck, you’re hot,” he compliments, almost.
you sit up, yanking his shorts down, large cock bouncing free from the last barrier between you, “you’re okay to look at,” you smirk. he rolls his eyes and slaps your hands away before you could reach out for him as he fumbles in his nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom, tearing the foil open with his teeth and rolling it on with ease.
he lines himself in your entrance, teasing his tip, that same devilish smirk plastered on his lips.
“admit you want me,” he grunts, hovering over you, a hand placed calculatedly on your neck, enough to choke you but not enough to completely block off your airways.
“no,” you hiss. he pushes in hard. no warning. no mercy. your back arches with a gasp, hands flying to his shoulders, mouth open in a soundless moan, his hand wrapping tighter around your neck, making your eyes roll back. he’s so so thick, you can feel him all around your walls, stretching you open inch by inch. he feels so good. too good.
“hate you,” you manage to whisper in between your breathy moans, even as your legs wrap around his waist.
“yeah?,” he pants, thrusting into you hard enough to make the headboard knock the wall, “say it louder,” he orders, finally releasing the hold he had on your neck and redirecting it to your breast, large hand squeezing tightly around the supple flesh.
“i hate you,” you moan and then you’re kissing him again, biting his bottom lip, swallowing the grunts he gives you. he sets a brutal pace, every thrust punctuated by the sound of skin on skin, by the filthy words he mutters against your neck. you push him in closer, wanting more, needing more.
“you’re so fucking needy,” he pants, voice tight, desperate.
“shut up,” you growl.
“make me,” he snaps back. so you slap him again and his face twitches, a deep, devilish chuckle slipping past his lips before he pulls out, flipping you over like you weighed nothing and pulling you up on your hands and knees before thrusting into you from behind, your face buried in his pillow.
he fucks you harder. the new angle hitting that spot over and over again you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
it was chaos. it was violence in the shape of pleasure.
“fuck,” you cry, “you’re so deep, so-,” his hand lands a slap on your ass, sharp and hot, the noise echoing throughout the room, making you bite down into the sheets.
“how do you like it?,” he grunts, landing another slap, hot and red, leaving tingles all over your skin. you were sure there were bruises in the shape of his fingertips forming all over you. you’re a mess of moans and incoherent words, each thrust wrecking your thoughts, your dignity, your hate.
you should be fighting him but all you can do is beg for more, “please, please, please, haechan, d-don’t stop,” and your cries do nothing but fuel him. the room continues to echo with the slap of skin and filthy words with your name in his voice and his cock in your pussy like he was trying to break you. you lose track of how many times you say i hate you. how many times he says it back. it becomes a chant. a rhythm. a promise.
you ride that line between loathing and lust until your vision whites out, orgasm hitting you like a punch in the gut, “haechan, fuck, i’m coming!,” you scream and he grabs your hair, pulling you back against him.
“go ahead princess,” he growls, “come all over my cock.” you shatter, gasping for air, jaw hanging open, shaking, as your eyes rolled back in complete pleasure, body going limp in his arms.
haechan doesn’t stop, hellbent on proving that he could last longer than you think. he shoves a pillow under you, continuing his relentless thrusts.
“fuuuck, how are you getting tighter?,” he grits out, “your pussy fucking loves me,” he groans, each hard thrust bringing him closer to that high.
you could cry from the overstimulation, “h-haechan–t-too much,” you stutter, gripping his thigh, tears forming in the corner of your eyes.
“you can take it, princess,” he says, voice low and dark. “i know you can. be a good girl and take it,” he grunts, still pushing into you with a force that rolls the tears down your cheeks.
eventually, the pain turns into pleasure again. blurring the line until you’re moving with him, lost in the pace, the heat, the hate. he chases his own high until his rhythm started shattering into jerky, desperate thrusts, “c’mon, princess, give me one more,” he grunts and all your body could do was follow his voice, immediately tightening around him and sending you to your third orgasm of the night.
he finally gives in with a low, wrecked groan of your name, burying his face in your neck as he shudders through it, hips slowing, grounding down into you until there’s nothing left but heat and sweat and the tremble in his arms as he holds himself over you.
when he pulls out, there’s a slick, lewd sound that makes your already flushed skin go warmer, the pillow beneath you, soaking. then he collapses beside you with a sigh, one arm slung over his eyes like the weight of everything that just happened is finally catching up to him.
silence swells between you. sticky and loud and way too fucking real.
your chest is still rising and falling fast, heartbeat trying to find its regular rhythm as you try to fight off the sleep that was wanting to overtake. you were so tired, so fucked out you almost gave in but your hate was still stronger and somehow your voice cuts through the thick silence, “we’re definitely not doing that again.”
he pauses, “...right.”
you roll onto your side, head propped on your hand, glaring at him like you can set him on fire with just your eyes, “that wasn’t hesitation.” you don’t ask him. you tell him.
he peeks at you from under his arm and shrugs, unbothered, “it was dramatic timing. theater major, remember?”
you groan, flopping back on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face, “god, i really fucking hate you.”
he grins, teeth sharp and full of bite, “yeah, well your pussy doesnt.” you grab the nearest thing, his shirt, and toss it straight to his face and he lets it sit there for a moment before peeling it off with an exaggerated sigh.
“asshole,” you mutter, already reaching for your clothes. ignoring the way your body was burning, a reminder of his touch, as you start dressing like you’re gearing up for a fight, like each item is a piece of armor you’re slapping on.
he watches you dress, that grin never really leaving his face but his eyes are softer than they should be. quieter. and he doesn’t say a word as you reassemble yourself.
within minutes, you’re both back in your roles, fully clothed and composed. like the last hour never happened. like he hadn’t just made you scream his name. like you hadn’t clawed his thighs so hard there’ll probably be marks tomorrow. like he hadn’t left bruises in the shape of his lips all over your skin. like the tear stains you were sporting wasn’t evident.
you pick up your script off the edge of the bed. it’s bent now, pages wrinkled. a souvenir from the chaos you two just unleashed. neither of you acknowledge it.
“start from your cue,” you say flatly.
he leans back against the headboard, flipping lazily through the script like nothing about this is new, like his cock wasn’t just inside you, “with love’s light wings did i o’erperch these walls…”
you roll your eyes, glaring “try saying it like you don’t want to fuck me.”
“i dont want to fuck you,” he deadpans, then glances at you with a smirk, “again.”
you shoot him a look so cold it could kill. he delivers it properly this time, and you move through the scene with professional precision except for the way your voices crack at the edges, how the eye contact lingers a beat too long.
the air between you is no less charged. if anything, it’s worse now. every line feels like a double entendre. every accidental brush of fingers feels like it might ignite something again.
you finish the scene without a word about what happened. no apologies. no acknowledgments. no we shouldn’t have done that.
then you shove the script into your bag, sling it over your shoulder, and walk to the door. “you’re leaving without a goodbye?” he calls out, that cocky lilt back in his voice.
you pause. not enough to turn. just enough to make him think you might. then you say, “we’re not friends, haechan. we don’t joke around. we rehearse. that’s it.”
and you leave. down the hall, around the corner, out the front door, your pulse still racing, his scent still clinging to your skin like it’s branding you. your body aching with the memory of his mouth, his hands, his body.
back in his room, haechan stares at the closed door. the tension in the air still hasn’t left. he sighs, eyes trailing back to the script. he lets it drop from his hand, the pages flopping limply to the floor. then he throws himself back against the mattress like he’s trying to forget the way you felt. the way you sounded.
his body still buzzes. his mind’s a goddamn storm. he drags a hand through his hair and covers his eyes with his arm again, “what the fuck did I just do?”
he’d told himself this was about getting you out of his system. that one fuck would fix it. but now? now you’re under his skin in a way he doesn’t know how to undo. every nerve remembers you. every inch of him aches for you. and every second since you walked out that door feels empty.
he groans to the ceiling, voice thick with frustration and something he won’t name. “well,” he mutters, sarcasm soaked in something bitter, “that worked great.”
ཐིཋྀ the fifth week of rehearsals
it’s been a week since the night that didn’t mean anything. you’d both agreed. no repeats. one time. clean slate. but the slate wasn’t clean. it was cracked and humming with everything you weren’t supposed to feel.
you’re on stage now, under the harsh fluorescents of the theater department’s rehearsal room, with your script in one hand and your heart lodged somewhere in your throat.
the scene is simple. romeo flirts. juliet flirts back. they kiss. easy. you’ve done kissing scenes a thousand times in other productions. but now? now your body remembers the exact weight of him. how he sounds when he groans. how he says your name like a sin he’s proud of committing.
mr. doyoung looks up, “let’s take it from romeo’s line, build the moment, don’t rush it.”
haechan nods, exhales, and steps into character, “have not saint lips, and holy palmers too?” his eyes are on you and it's not romeo’s gaze. it’s haechan’s. intense. knowing. annoyingly smug. feeding his line like nothing happened between you.
he leans in, perfectly in character as you follow through, finding juliet’s voice with ease, “ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”
“o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, gran thou, lest faith turn to despair,” he continues, both of you smoothly moving through the stage, dancing around each other’s bodies.
“saints do not move, though grant for prayer’s sake,” you deliver the line perfectly, professionally.
“then move not, while my prayer’s effect i take,” he murmurs, inching the space closer and closer, twirling you around in his arms, and finally kissing you like his life depended on it . like he couldn’t wait a single second for this moment. completely capturing romeo’s yearning spirit.
and it’s evident as day that your body remembers everything from that night.
the kiss goes on a beat too long and for a second you almost forget you were in the middle of a scene until he’s in character again, “thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
“then have my lips the sin they have took,” you respond immediately. his eyes flicker to yours and you see it. he remembers too. every second of it.
“sin from my lips? o trespass sweetly urged!,” he continues, leaning in once again, following the script perfectly, “give me my sin again,” he says, placing a sweet kiss on your lips. all too different from the kisses you’ve shared before.
“you kiss by th’ book,” you end the scene as his lips travel down your neck, igniting that heat in your stomach. mr. doyoung was taking his sweet time yelling out cut. you can feel haechan’s smirk against your neck and it’s taking everything in you to not end the scene yourself.
mr. doyoung rises from his chair, clapping slowly, and finally yelling out the one word you needed to breathe. you both jump back immediately like touching each other burned.
“there it is,” he says, “my romeo and juliet,” he dramatically wipes a fake tear from his eyes, “absolutely beautiful. from the top!,” he says excitedly and all you could do was follow his directions. pretending every single touch isn’t affecting you way more than you would ever admit.
you’re not losing this battle. not letting him know that the one time one fuck proposal didn’t work. and haechan, sure as hell, isn't backing down either.
♕
THE BIGGEST, MOST ANTICIPATED PARTY OF THE YEAR: HALLOWEEN NIGHT @ THE DREAM FRATERNITY
haechan scans the room, it was their busiest party of the year. the most chaotic, most fun, most prepared party he and the boys ever have to plan. and now the dream house is packed with costumes, glitter, smoke, chaos. he’s dressed as some version of a vampire, sexy but not too much, his funny, charming side taking over.
he spots mark and kitten across the room, near the couch, in their spiderman and black cat costumes, trying, and failing, to do the spiderman kiss. there was jaemin and angel groping each other on the dance floor wearing matching hermione and ron costumes and in the corner in the back near the kitchen was jeno and bunny caught in a heated makeout session with their ash and pikachu costumes on. and yes, jeno is pikachu.
and then you walked in. he knew you would be here. it was the only dream party you attended because everyone attends it. it was either this or spending the night alone, watching scary movies by yourself.
you were dressed in a lacy red devil’s costume leaving no room for imagination. he shouldn’t even be looking at you. but he is. and his eyes zero in on the faint marks that were blooming on the exposed skin of your breasts. you didn’t even care that people saw them. but he knew you would have if people knew that those marks came from his lips.
he feels his pants tighten in his jeans. he really needed to get a good fuck. maybe it’ll stop you from plaguing his mind.
“can’t believe i’m part of the singles fuck boy club,” renjun says, snapping him out of the trance you trapped him in.
haechan smirks, “take it as a win,” he takes a sip from his drink, “more ladies for us,” he winks, just as jisung and chenle walked up to them.
“so, who do you have your eyes on tonight?,” chenle asks, a smirk on his lips.
haechan chuckles, looking around, his eyes glossing over your figure for a second before they land on the girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year, “ryujin,” he smirks. ryujin – dance major, one of the university’s best.
“how about you, my little protege?,” haechan asks, turning his attention to jisung, the rest of the boys awaiting his answer.
jisung smirks, already knowing the answer, “wonyoung.”
renjun’s jaw drops, “jisung, she might be a freshman but she’s completely out of your league.”
jisung just chuckles, haechan chuckling with him, “hey, don’t doubt my boy,” he says before patting jisung in the back, “just remember everything mark and i taught you,” he winks before jisung took a shot and disappeared into the crowd.
“his head is getting bigger, you know,” renjun rolls his eyes.
“that’s fine, let him have his fun,” chenle says, “now let’s go find you a girl so you’re not so grumpy all the time,” he drags renjun out of there, leaving haechan to fend for himself, a smirk still playing on his lips. and he can’t help it. his eyes dart back to your figure.
across the room, he sees you laughing, too close, too bright, with some guy he doesn’t recognize. the guy’s in some lazy pirate costume, leaning in like he knows you. like he’s already been invited in and something in his stomach turns. something about you looking that comfortable makes him want to throw the nearest pumpkin straight at his head.
he remembers a time when he was privileged enough to hear your laugh. to make you laugh. to laugh together until your ribs were sore.
he absolutely hates it — the way that memory has been popping up in his head like a haunted time loop. he thought he got rid of it, buried it somewhere deep, he wouldn’t have been able to find it. but just a couple weeks with you and all his work for the last five years go down the drain.
he forces himself to look away, making his way over to ryujin, dressed up as bella from twilight. oh, this was going to be too easy.
“hey pretty, you looking for me?,” he interrupts the conversation she was having with another guy, smoothly and all so charming, the way he usually is.
ryujin lets out a giggle, “hmm, i could’ve sworn i was talking to another vampire,” she says, voice sultry and deep with desire.
“none of those vampires can compare to me,” he winks playfully, cocky as ever. and that was all it took before ryujin was pulling him down for a kiss.
he lets his mouth move against hers, hot and fast, but completely hollow. she tastes like candy, vodka and sticky lip gloss, her hands gripping at his arms like she owns him. his mouth is probably smeared with red now, and she moans like it means something.
but to him, it means absolutely nothing.
there’s no fire. no heat. no pulse-racing thrill behind it. no push and pull. no sharp banter humming beneath the surface. he was making out with a girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year and all he could think about was how different it was from kissing you.
god, you were so fucking irritating.
he opens his eyes in the middle of the kiss, and to his unfortunate luck, he makes direct eye contact with you. across the room, half hidden in shadows and flashing lights, your gaze is locked on him but there’s no challenge there. no eye-roll. no smirk. nothing that makes you, you. just eerie blankness, almost like you were looking through him.
something’s wrong.
he pulls back abruptly, ryujin still chasing his lips with a frustrated sound. “give me a second,” he mutters before completely leaving her standing there on her own. an angry scoff follows him as he pushes through the crowd, all of his attention zeroed in on you.
he walks across the room, watching your every move. you’re swaying a little. not like you’re dancing. like your balance is off, disconnected from gravity, from control. the look in your eyes is unresponsive and you’re blinking so incredibly slow. and the pirate is still right next to you, standing way too close.
his hand lands on your waist. then he presses a kiss on the side of your neck and haechan moves through the crowd like a storm, pushing everyone out of his way.
he grips the guy’s shirt and yanks him back, stepping between you and him like a wall of fire. he grabs your wrist, grounding you, voice low but unshakeable, “we’re leaving.”
you blink up at him like you’re seeing the sun for the first time, “donghyuck?,” you smile softly, too sweetly, and it takes everything in him to not kill the guy who did this to you.
“did you drink something?,” he asks, firm but gentle. you nod slowly, lips parted like you’re stuck in a delayed reaction. he brings the cup to his nose – fruity, sticky-sweet but there’s something else. something chemical. and then he sees it, the powdery film at the bottom, confirming his prediction.
his stomach drops. rage coils in his gut. he grabs the drink, tossing the liquid in the nearest plant and fists a hand in the guy’s shirt before shoving him backward, “touch her again and i’ll break your fucking face,” he seethes. the guy stumbles back, arms raised like he’s innocent.
mark notices the commotion before anyone else does, quickly stepping in, kitten by his side with wide, concerned eyes, “dude, what’s happening?,” he speaks low and in control.
“he drugged her,” he growls into his ear. mark’s eyes widen, sharp and alert “i’ll handle him. you take care of her,” he says.
haechan’s attention was back on you in an instant. your balance is off, feet shifting clumsily, eyes blinking slow and unfocused, pupils dilated.
he crouches slightly so he’s at eye level, “hey, come with me, okay?,” he says softly. you lift your head to look at him, your lips parting into a dreamy, dazed smile. you manage to nod once before your body gives out, knees buckling, weight tipping forward. haechan catches you before you can even fall. you land into him like you were meant to be there, cheeks pressed to his chest, body in his arms.
you giggle softly, the sound barely audible over the music. it’s airy. almost innocent. it breaks his heart in two.
“warm,” you mumble into his shirt. “you’re so warm, hyuck.”
his heart squeezes painfully, trying to push away that all too familiar feeling of his nickname on your tongue. the nickname you gave him. the way it sounds so soft as if somewhere in the haze and fog in your brain, some part of you knows you’re safe with him.
without a word, he lifts you into his arms bridal style. your arms immediately wrap around his neck, hands clinging like he’s your lifeline.
“up we go,” he says softly, carrying you through the house, ignoring every curious stare, every muttered comment.
you nuzzle closer, relaxing into his body like it’s familiar, lips brushing his jaw, and he nearly stumbles, “you smell so good…why do you smell so good…?”
he hides his smirk. you told him he smelled like axe just a week ago. “because i shower, dumbass,” he mutters. the insult wasn’t needed but hey, he can’t help it.
in his room, he kicks the door shut with his foot, setting you gently on the bed.
but you don’t let go.
your hands are still on him, clutching his shoulders, his shirt, anything. you whine when he tries to pull back, “nooo, hyuck, don’t go,” you pout like a child.
your breath fans against his neck, lips brushing so close to his skin that he shivers, “need you…” you whisper, almost too faint to catch. it guts him. he carefully pulls back just enough to look at you, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek and your eyes flutter open, slow and unfocused, but locked on him.
and then you lean in. soft. uncertain. your lips part slightly, tilting toward his like muscle memory.
and his heart lurches. he wants it, god, does he want it. but not like this. not when you’re not fully you. not when you won’t remember. not when it would feel like taking. so he stops you.
he leans back, gently pressing his fingers to your lips, “hey,” he says quietly, “not right now.”
you blink, confused. hurt flickers across your face, “but i want—”
“i know,” he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face with heartbreaking tenderness. “but you’re not… you’re not okay right now. you’re not thinking clearly and you’re gonna hate me even more if i let you do this.”
you stare at him for a long moment, your expression folding into something soft, something fractured. your voice comes out barely audible, “you always ruin everything.”
he lets out a quiet breath through his nose, crouching down to your eye level again, “yeah,” he murmurs, “i’m really good at that.”
you’re trembling now, whether from the drug or emotion he can’t tell. he reaches for the edge of his hoodie draped over his desk chair. then he coaxes you out of your costume.
you let him take care of you.
he slips the oversized hoodie over your head in an instant. it swallows you whole, falling to mid-thigh, sleeves engulfing your hands, covering more than your costume ever did. then he grabs a pair of his clean sweatpants and helps you step into them, rolling the waistband until they don’t fall off.
“there,” he murmurs, tugging the hood up over your head, “much better,” and seeing you in his clothes makes his heart skip a beat.
you blink up at him, dazed and warm, “smells like you.”
he chuckles softly, “well, that’s cause it’s mine, princess” he says, the nickname landing so gently he’s almost glad you won't remember this. he guides you back on the bed, his hands warm and careful on your shoulders, like he’s afraid you’ll break. you lay down like a sleepy cat, limbs loose, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie.
he crouches in front of you, steady and patient, watching you with an unreadable expression. the room is dim, hushed, wrapped in the kind of silence that comes right after chaos.
then you say it. quiet. barely there. like a secret.
“i didn’t want to hate you.”
his breath catches. he wanted to ask so why do you?
he’s never figured out. why things between you turned so bitter. why you suddenly started twisting a knife behind his back. and why he grabbed that knife and pointed it at you. but he know it’s wrong to get information out of you in this state. not when your eyes are glassy, your words a half-conscious confession spilling out like a secret you didn’t mean to say. you’re too far gone to argue. too soft to lie.
you’re still looking at him, but your eyelids are heavier now. the words just fall from your lips, unguarded. honest in a way you never let yourself be sober, “you made it so easy sometimes though” you murmur, the corners of your mouth tilting in something that’s not quite a smile, not quite pain, “being loud. being cocky. saying shit you didn’t mean just to piss me off…”
his heart is thudding so loud he’s sure you can hear it. there’s so much he wants to say. apologies, defenses, explanations. but before he can say anything, your body shifts, sinks into the pillow, limbs going limp as your breath evens out and your eyes flutter shut.
you’re asleep. just like that.
haechan stays kneeling beside the bed, frozen in place. his gaze traces the soft furrow of your brow, the way your lips part slightly as you breathe. he wonders if you’ll remember any of this tomorrow. if you’ll pretend it never happened. if you’ll regret letting your walls down for even a second.
“i didn’t want to hate you either,” he whispers, voice barely audible over your breathing.
there’s a pause. a longer silence.
“i don’t even know why i hate you,” he admits, softer still. but you’re already gone.
and yet, he stays beside you a little longer, resting his head on the edge of the mattress, eyes never leaving yours, like if he just watches long enough, maybe he’ll figure out where it all went wrong.
♕
the morning light filters through the curtains. everything is quiet. too quiet.
you stir slowly, the ache in your head blooming behind your eyes like a storm cloud. your limbs are heavy, your mouth dry and your body is wrapped around a warmth that doesn’t belong to your bed.
it takes a second for the fog in your mind to lift, but when it does, your heart skips.
you’re not in your room. you’re in his. and he’s right there – lying beside you, one arm flung over his eyes, hair tousled, chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths of someone who stayed up way too late.
you freeze. every part of you tenses as your gaze darts down to your body — hoodie and sweatpants, both way too big, wrapped around you. you exhale in quiet, stunned relief, but your heart is still pounding, “what the hell?” you whisper, rubbing your temples.
at the sound of your voice, he stirs, groaning, blinking against the light like it personally offended him then his eyes land on you.
“you’re up,” he rasps, voice thick with sleep. he stretches lazily like he doesn’t feel the full weight of your stare on him. “you okay?”
you blink, “why am i here?”
“you were drugged,” he says plainly. no softening. no sugar-coating. “some guy slipped something in your drink.”
the room tilts. you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to recollect memories from last night. the fear of what could’ve happened gnaws at your insides.
“i got you out before anything happened,” he adds quietly, “you were… not yourself. clingy. slurring. said i smelled nice, for some reason,” there’s a light, teasing tone in his voice.
you shoot him a glare, despite the pounding in your head, “you do not smell nice.”
he grins faintly, because of course, even now, all you could do was insult him, and it was all he needed to know that you were safe and back to normal, “okay, sure.”
silence stretches between you as you sit up slowly, piecing together flickers of last night. the music, the lights, that sickly sweet drink. the guy in the pirate costume. then — the warmth. the voice you’d know even half-conscious. you glance down at the hoodie you’re drowning in. his scent is faint but still there.
“you changed me?,” you ask, eyes wide.
he nods, propping himself up on one elbow, “you were half-passed out. you needed to sleep it off. i didn’t look, i swear. i just helped.”
you believe him. strangely, you do, “thank you.”
he raises an eyebrow like he wasn’t expecting that.
“you’re welcome,” he says, softer now, “just… be more careful next time, okay?”
you look away, the words settling heavy between you, “i didn’t think…”
“exactly,” he cuts in, voice gentle but tired, “you didn’t. that’s how shit like that happens.” his tone isn’t cruel. he’s not scolding you. he’s just…tired. and worried. and probably more scared last night than he’d ever admit.
you nod once. that’s all you can manage. you don’t want to admit how safe you felt. how it was his arms you clung to. how your body trusted him even when your brain was compromised.
but none of that changes anything.
you clear your throat, “well, thanks. but… that doesn’t mean anything is different between us.”
the faintest flicker crosses his face, unreadable, before it’s gone.
“didn’t say it did,” he says simply. then, “you hungry?”
you blink, “what?”
“i make a decent hangover ramen,” he says, already swinging his legs out of bed, “and i’ll even throw in some kimchi, if you promise not to puke on my carpet.”
you roll your eyes, “you’re such a dumbass.”
he shoots you a crooked smile. “yeah, but not as dumb as you, princess.”
you don’t respond. you just sit there in his bed, swimming in his clothes and your own confusion, watching him move through his room like this was the most normal morning in the world. you slip your shoes back on without a word, still wearing his hoodie and sweats. your costume’s somewhere in a pile on his desk chair, but there’s no way in hell you’re putting that back on. not after last night.
you follow haechan into the kitchen, as he hums some stupid melody, reaching for the pan and boiling the water. you stand awkwardly in the doorway, arms crossed over your chest like it’ll hide how massive his hoodie is on you.
he glances up, “you gonna sit down?”
you shake your head, “i just…i should go.”
he doesn’t fight you on it. just nods, quietly preparing the packs of instant noodles.
you turn to leave but stop short. three of the dream boys are coming down the stairs. they freeze in the hallway when they see you. so do you. the room goes dead silent and you look like a deer caught in headlights. his hoodie feels ten times heavier now, your legs bare in his sweatpants, and your hair a mess from sleep. you look like everything they think happened.
renjun raises a brow, “morning…”
jisung coughs loudly, trying to hide his grin.
chenle looks at haechan, who appears behind you a second later, “really?” he mouths, and haechan shoots him a deadly glare, the kind that says shut up without a single word.
but it’s too late. they all recognize you. of course they do. you’re not just any girl. you’re the girl — the one who’s made haechan stomp through the front door ranting and raving more times than any of them can count. the one whose name used to spark an automatic groan from someone in the room. the one who once made haechan so mad he slammed a door clean off its hinge, then spent two hours denying it had anything to do with you – you’re a household legend. a walking migraine. the ongoing war he never seemed to win but kept returning to like clockwork.
so to see you, standing in their house, in his clothes, the morning after the biggest party of the year is definitely strange. you look like you spent the night tangled up in something intimate. something that doesn’t match the version of events they’ve heard a hundred times over.
the air goes stiff with curiosity and thinly veiled amusement. you straighten your back, refusing to flinch, “nothing happened.”
“sure,” jisung says, not even trying to hide the smirk.
“seriously,” you snap, “i got drugged and he just…helped me.”
renjun tilts his head, worry flashing over all of their features “you good?”
you pause, then nod, “yeah. i’m good.”
haechan steps beside you, voice casual but firm. “she’s telling the truth.”
his words shock you. you were half expecting him to stay quiet.
then you feel the shift in the room like a breeze that slips through a cracked window. they move on, the scent of the ramen calling out to them like moths drawn to the light. you continue your path toward the front door, haechan follows, footsteps soft behind you like a shadow that doesn’t want to overstep.
you reach for the door then pause, glancing over your shoulder, “thanks,” you say again, quieter this time, it slips out like a confession.
his eyes meet yours, steady and unreadable “anytime.”
and somehow, you know he means it. not in the casual way people toss that word around — you see it in the way his posture doesn’t shift, in the way he doesn’t look away, in the quiet steel under his tone. you knew that if it happened again, god forbid, it would be him again. coming to your rescue. without hesitation. without conditions.
something in your chest cracks. not from last night, not from the near-miss or the weight of fear. but from a memory. a time in the past, years ago, that you shoved deep into the vault of things too painful to touch.
♕
as soon as the front door clicks shut behind you, silence settles over the house for a beat. then it erupts.
jisung is the first to crack, “bro,” he looks up at haechan, gaping, as they all sat in the kitchen, “what happened to i hate her so much i’d rather die than be caught with her?’”
renjun chokes on his coffee, suppressing his amusement, “no, no, i think it was more like, if i ever even breathe the same air as her willingly, just kill me,” he says, mocking his friend.
chenle snorts, a playful smirk on his lips, “do we kill you now or later?”
haechan doesn’t even bother trying to defend himself. he just drops his head back with a groan and laughs, loud and shameless, the sound echoing off the kitchen walls, “you guys are so annoying.”
“not as annoying as the fact that she left wearing your clothes,” chenle says, waggling his eyebrows, “your hoodie, dude. the hoodie. the one you said no one’s allowed to borrow because it’s your emotional support layer.’”
“she needed clothes,” haechan says, rolling his eyes and grabbing bowls from the cabinet, like none of it was a big deal. like you didn’t just crack down all the years of hate with one simple call of his name.
“what, i was supposed to let her wander the streets in a lingerie looking like she escaped from a halloween thirst trap?”
renjun squints at him, mock-serious, “you’re in love.”
this elicits a groan from jisung, “oh god, not another one…the other three literally makes me want to vomit.”
haechan rolls his eyes, “i’m not in love.”
“sure,” chenle and renjun say in unison, like a damn choir.
“okay, first of all,” haechan says, gritting his teeth, holding up a finger, “i don’t even like her.”
“uh-huh,” chenle says, “that’s why you stayed up all night babysitting her and making sure she didn’t die.”
“oh my god, did you tuck her in?,” renjun asks.
“i didn’t tuck her in! she just…passed out, and i put a pillow under her head like a civilized human being!,” he reasons out, “plus it’s our party, she’s our responsibility,” he says seriously.
that silences them for half a second. just long enough for his words to land, “yeah, okay,” jisung says squinting, “but you could’ve just called one of her friends to bring her home, not spend the party of the year taking care of her…i mean ryujin was right there!”
haechan slams the ramen bowls down on the counter, harder than necessary, but not quite angry. just exasperated. like he’s been circling this same conversation in his own head since sunrise.
“fine. okay. whatever. you guys win,” he mutters.
there’s a pause, then jisung leans forward, eyes wide with mock innocence, voice pure mischief, “so you do like her?”
“i loathe her,” haechan says with a perfectly straight face, “can’t stand her. makes my blood boil. hate her so much i—”
“—gave her your bed, made her ramen she didn’t even eat, and threatened chenle with your eyes,” renjun finishes without missing a beat, sipping his coffee like he’s watching the best drama of the year unfold in real time.
chenle throws in a lazy, “don’t forget the hoodie,” for good measure.
haechan snorts, “you guys suck.”
they dissolve into laughter around him, loud and chaotic and full of affection. and haechan doesn’t stop them. because deep down, he knows they’re not wrong.
something is changing. cracking open. he felt it when he heard you say his name, all light and smiles like it was genuinely directed at him. he felt it when he saw you asleep in his bed, curled into his hoodie like it was the only safe place in the world. he felt it when your voice cracked saying thank you.
and now that feeling is lodged somewhere between his ribs, sharp and impossible to ignore. but he’s not ready to name it. not yet. so he grins, serves the ramen, and lets the teasing continue, pretending it’s just another morning with his idiot friends.
ཐིཋྀ the sixth week of rehearsals
rehearsals resume like nothing happened. like there wasn’t a near assault. like you didn’t sleep in his bed. like he didn’t stay up all night watching you breathe just to make sure you were okay — but of course, something has changed.
you still bicker. constantly. relentlessly. but it’s not as sharp now. not as mean. it’s irritation tinged with something unspoken. something softer.
mr. doyoung claps his hands, excited and ready. his vision of romeo and juliet when he casted you both slowly coming to life, “okay, let’s do the balcony scene!” the same scene you two could never get through before.
you climb up the makeshift balcony without any further instructions, the rickety platform still wobbling under your feet like it did during the first week. haechan stands below, glancing up just as you grip the railing and start juliet’s lines again, voice laced with practiced longing, “o romeo, o romeo, wherefore art thou–”
before you could finish your line. a crack echoes throughout the stage. it happens fast. the board beneath you splits, you were falling through, a flash of panic in your eyes as you unsuccessfully tried to grip on to whatever you could find.
haechan lunges forward, catching you mid fall with a grunt as your body collapses into his. you hit the ground hard, him first then you crashing into his chest with a force that knocks the air out of your breaths. chaos erupts. voices shouting. mr. doyoung yelling for someone to call the campus’ nurse. a cast member swearing in the background. but haechan doesn’t hear any of it. all he sees is you. your face twisting in pain as you try to sit up, only to wince and clutch your ankle.
“don’t move,” he says quickly, arms tightening around you, “just, stay still.”
“i’m fine,” you mutter through gritted teeth.
“you’re not fine, you idiot,” his voice cracks at the edges. more panic than anger. he shifts carefully, helping you sit upright before reaching down to gently examine your ankle. you hiss when he touches it. he flinches like it hurts him.
“swollen,” he mutters, “probably a sprain,” he says seriously. the kind of serious you’ve never seen him before.
“oh my god, relax, i’m not dying,” you say, managing a breathless laugh.
he glares at you, “you fell off a stage ten feet high. that’s not nothing.”
“yeah. and you saved me. again,” your eyes narrow playfully, “what are you…my guardian angel now?”
“more like your full-time babysitter,” he snaps, but his voice is too soft to land.
“you care too much,” you tease.
“and you scare me too much,” he says, barely louder than a whisper but your heart still races and you’re not too sure if it’s the adrenaline or if it’s him — the crew surrounds you, someone finally arrives with ice and a first-aid kit. mr. doyoung is talking a mile a minute about liability and structural integrity and someone offers to help carry you to the nurse’s office but you wave them off.
“i’ve got him,” you say, jerking your chin toward haechan who still hasn’t taken his hands off you. he doesn’t even argue. just helps you to your feet, arm around your waist, guiding you slowly off the stage as you limp beside him.
no one says it. not you. not him. not any of the wide-eyed castmates watching the two of you walk away like something’s finally cracked open. but they all feel it. something has changed.
♕
the clinic smells like antiseptic and lemon cleaner. you sit stiffly on the padded bed, ankle propped up with a wrapped ice pack, waiting for the nurse —haechan’s right beside you, knee bouncing restlessly like he can’t stand seeing you in pain, “you need anything?,” he asks, voice gentler than it has any right to be, “water? painkillers? i can steal some candy from the front desk if that helps.”
you glance at him, lips parting, then closing. because that tone. that face. that tenderness you never asked for. it reminds you of before. the haechan who sat side by side with you, eating convenience store snacks, watching clouds drift by, sharing a wired earphone like you had all the time in the world. the haechan who walked you home without ever saying why. who pretended he didn’t like mamma mia! but knew every lyric by heart. the haechan who was loud and stupid and kind and yours. before everything fell apart.
the nurse finally walks in and checks your ankle. haechan stays seated in the plastic chair next to you, leg still bouncing as you listen to her instructions. when she finally leaves with a parting, “just rest it for a few days,” silence rushes in to fill the space.
you exhale slowly, “can you stop bouncing your leg? you heard her, it’s a minor sprain, i’ll live.” you can’t help but roll your eyes. he was being too dramatic. too caring.
“you scared the hell out of me,” he blurts, like the words have been clawing their way up his throat all afternoon.
you look at him, surprised by his bluntness, “i’m fine, haechan.”
“you weren’t fine when the stage gave out under you,” he snaps.
your mouth opens. closes. he keeps stealing the words right out of you. then he shifts, shoulders straighter, spine tighter.
“you said something last week,” he says, voice low, barely above a whisper “when you were half-asleep.”
his fingers tighten in his lap. the campus’ clinic is probably the wrong place for this conversation, but it’s been gnawing at him ever since you walked out of the dream house. and now it’s too big to hold in.
“you said you didn’t want to hate me,” you go incredibly still. so still it’s like your whole body locks up. the air in the room changes. you keep staring at the floor like the white tiles might split open and swallow you whole. of course you remember. curse your memory for never ever letting you forget anything, even when you beg it to. even drugged and half-conscious, everything from that night came back to you throughout moments in the week. like you’d be taking a shower and you’d remember the way you fell into his arms and called out his name or when you were eating lunch and the memory of you reaching out to him, trying to kiss him, hits the back of your head, making you cringe.
“so?,” you forced a breath through your nose. it comes out sharper than you mean it to but you don’t deny it.
“so i want to know,” he swallows, his voice is softer now, “why did you start?”
the silence that follows is thick. suffocating. haechan swears the wall inched closer with every second you don’t answer.
“i’ve been trying to figure it out for years,” he says, voice fraying, “what i did. why you started treating me like i was nothing. why you iced me out like i didn’t matter. like i never did.”
you lift your gaze, slow and deliberate and it hits him. not like a punch, but like a car crash. like every part of him is thrown forward, lungs emptied, heart shattered. there’s a grief in your expression he’s never seen before. not even on stage. this is real. too real.
and he waits. like he always used to. back when the two of you were something – not dating, not together, but something solid. something warm. something unshakeable. the kind of friends who stayed behind after rehearsal just to talk. the kind of friends who knew each other’s favorite snacks, who shared playlists and secrets and inside jokes no one else understood. the kind of friends that felt like home.
“don't you remember?” you finally ask, voice quiet, flat, tired.
haechan frowns, “remember what?”
you laugh bitterly, “of course you don’t.” a pause. a breath. a blade. “it wasn’t your name they were writing on the bathroom stalls.”
he sits up, straighter, alarmed, “what?”
“the closet. junior year of high school. you remember that?”
“of course i do,” he says immediately, “we were locked in there for what? half an hour?”
“forty-three minutes,” you reply, sharp as glass. and suddenly the memory slams into both of you — the closet during the winter play production of beauty and the beast. an accidental lock-in during prop duty, the two of you stuck in the cramped space. too much closeness. too many unspoken things. breath catching in your throat.
nothing happened – but by morning, it didn’t matter.
“you told everyone we hooked up,” you say flatly, “that night in the prop closet. you let them believe it.”
haechan’s whole face shifts, like someone just knocked the air out of his lungs, “y/n, i never said anything, i didn’t even–,”
“you didn’t correct anyone,” you cut him off, the memory still holding as much pain as it did before, “and then the rumors started, people were whispering about me in the hallways. calling me easy. and you just smiled and laughed and acted like it was funny,” your voice cracks and you hate that it does.
“what?,” his voice rises, he looks horrified. shaken. like the floor dropped out beneath him, “no, i didn’t know–”
you turn to him now, eyes blazing, every buried wound rising to the surface, “you let me take the fall. you let them slut-shame me into the ground and when i needed you to shut it down, you disappeared.”
he stares at you like something is shattering behind his eyes. he remembered that moment so differently.
“i thought you hated me because we almost kissed,” he says slowly, as if saying it aloud unearths something, “because i leaned in and i thought i ruined it by misreading everything. so when you started ignoring me, i thought i deserved it.”
you stare at him. your whole chest aches.
“i didn’t know they were calling you names,” he says, “if i had known, i would’ve–,”
“you were laughing with your stupid friends in the hallway,” you snap, tears burning behind your eyes, “smirking when someone made a joke. you didn’t care.”
“i did care!,” he fires back, voice breaking, “i was freaking out! i liked you! okay?,” the confession lingers in the air like smoke and all you could do was stare at him, eyes wide.
“—i liked you. and i didn’t know what to do with it and when people started assuming we were a thing, i….i liked it,” he breathes out.
you blink at him. silent. stunned. speechless.
“i was selfish,” he admits, quieter now, shame flooding his expression, “i got caught up in the idea of you and me and i didn’t realize you were paying the price.”
your expression cracks, disbelief twisting with heartbreak, “but you stopped talking to me,” you whisper, “i thought maybe you just saw me the same way that everyone else did.”
his head shakes desperately, over and over, “no. never.”
the silence afterwards is brutal, wrapping around the two of you like barbed wire. “i didn’t know how to fix it,” he breaks helplessly, each word torn straight from the center of his chest, “you looked at me like i was poison. like just being near you made everything worse. so i stopped trying. i didn’t want to make it harder for you.”
he paused, his voice going quieter, tighter, “you hated me so easily. or at least…that’s what i thought. after a while i convinced myself that maybe that’s what you always wanted and it hurt so i decided to hate you back.”
your jaw clenches. you look away, not because you don’t want to see him but because you can’t. because if you do, you might fall apart completely. haechan leans in. voice shaking. his hand tremble slightly where they rest on the edge of the bed, “but i never stopped thinking about you,” he says like he’s been dying to say it, “not once. and if i could go back, if i could take it all back, i would,” his voice cracks, “i don’t care if we’re supposed to be bitter enemies, if that’s the story everyone loves to believe now. i never wanted to lose you,” his hand twitches in his lap, “and i’m sorry y/n, i am so, so fucking sorry,” he finishes softly, voice filled with raw honesty.
you don’t say anything but your silence isn’t angry now. and the tears slip, silent and slow, dripping down your cheeks like memories you can’t scrub away. those were the words you’ve been aching to hear for years. he brings a hand up your face, slowly, carefully, tentatively like you might flinch. but you don’t. his fingertips graze your skin, carefully brushing away the tear that’s already fallen, thumb tracing the curve of your cheek like it’s sacred.
“please,” he whispers, “let me fix it. let me try. we don’t have to be anything big. just…let me be your friend again. i’ll do anything,” his voice breaks at the end and this time it’s desperation.
you say nothing for a long moment. instead, you look at him, really look. and it’s strange. the way grief can sit beside adoration. the way familiarity can hurt as much as it comforts. because you see the boy who made you laugh until your ribs hurt. the boy who stole your last gummy bear and shared his hoodie. the boy who would watch all your favorite movies with you. the boy who memorized all your favorite songs just so you could sing them together. but you also see the boy who stood by and let the world tear you apart. the boy you’ve spent the last five years resenting.
you see all of him. and for a moment, it makes it hard to breathe.
“i felt so alone,” you say at last, your voice so quiet, “you were my best friend and then overnight, it was like i didn’t exist to you. and every time i looked at you, i just kept thinking, why wasn’t i worth defending?”
he makes a pained sound, like the question cuts deeper than anything else. like he couldn’t forgive his own self for the hurt he put you through.
“i kept waiting,” you go on, quieter now, “for you to say something. to explain. to pull me aside and say hey, i didn’t mean for it to go like that. i didn't mean for it to hurt you. but you never did.”
haechan nods, small and slow, his shoulders hunched in shame. he doesn’t argue. doesn’t defend. he just takes every word like he knows he deserves it. another silence passes but this one feels different. lighter, maybe…sadder, definitely.
his gaze flickers to the pillow behind you as if looking at you now is too much. like if he sees the tears on your cheeks, he might start crying himself and never stop. you wipe at your face with the back of your sleeve, sniffling through a shaky breath “i don't know if i can be your friend again…not like before,” you say honestly and you see how the words break him. his chest rises too fast. his mouth parts like he wants to beg. he nods again, visibly swallowing, like he’s choking on all the apologies he can’t say fast enough.
“but,” you add softly, “i think i’m tired of hating you, too.”
his eyes meet yours, something flickering in them. fragile. hope.
“i think…,” you whisper, “maybe i want to know who you are now,” you add and he lets out a breath like he’s been holding it for years. like your words cracked a dam and let him come up for air for the first time in forever.
and then you say the words that make something shift in the air, make the angels sing all around him. “we could try,” you murmur, “not going back but maybe starting over?”
his lips part. body stills, afraid he had just imagined it, “you mean it?,” he whispers, voice trembling.
and the sound of his old nickname, your nickname for him, cracks something wide open in his chest. a broken, stunned smile pulls at his lips, trembles with disbelief. like just hearing it makes him feel alive again.
he nods, eyes wet, heart in his hands, “i won’t,” he says, “i swear, i won’t.”
ཐིཋྀ the seventh week of rehearsals
it starts quietly. no grand announcement. no dramatic reconciliation that leaves the audience gasping. just…a shift. a subtle recalibration in the air.
you walk into rehearsal, script tucked under your arm. you aren’t bracing yourself like you usually do. there’s no adrenaline-fueled armor laced tight around your spine. you just simply walk in, the same way you would if haechan wasn’t there.
and when you spot him across the room, lounging in one of the chairs, thumb lazily scrolling through his phone, something inside you clicks into a different gear. you don’t look through him like he’s invisible. you don’t burn holes into him with your glare. you just look and then…you nod. barely anything. but he sees it. his thumb stills. his head lifts. he meets your gaze. there’s no tension in his shoulders, no spark of challenge in his eyes. and then he nods back. just as slight. just as careful.
to the untrained eye, nothing monumental has happened. but to the handful of castmates who have witnessed your years-long cold war with the icy stares, the sarcastic jabs, the tension so thick it warped the air – it’s seismic. everyone curious as to what happened in the nurse’s clinic.
a pause ripples through the room. like someone's holding their breath. and then…he smiles. not the cocky, smug grin he used to toss your way like a dare. not the smirk that usually meant he was about to say something that would make you want to throw your script at his head. no. this one is soft, small, a little uneven. the kind of smile you give a stray cat you’re hoping won’t run away.
you feel the tug of something low in your stomach, not butterflies, not quite. just movement, a flicker. and your lips twitch into an answering curve. not a full smile. but not nothing.
one of your castmates, also one of your best friends, yujin, jolts so hard she drops her script with a thud that echoes louder than it should. no one helps to pick it up, everyone too busy watching the apocalypse unfold in real time. you pretend not to notice the stares. instead, you slide into your usual seat and flip open your script like it’s just another regular day, not the first page of something new. you don’t look at him again. not right away. but you can feel him. the way you always could.
mr. doyoung claps his hands twice, too enthusiastically, as if to break the spell or maybe because even he feels the tension lifting, “alright! today’s rehearsal…the wedding scene!” he announces, his smile extra bright, eyes darting between you and haechan.
you don’t flinch. you don’t groan or make a joke at haechan’s expense like you might’ve a week ago. you just flip to the page. from beside you, yujin leans in slightly, whispering out of the corner of her mouth, “are you two… friends now?” her voice is half hopeful, half afraid the answer might implode the timeline.
you keep your eyes on the script, “maybe” you murmur back, shrugging, voice calm, “but we’re not enemies anymore.”
she stares at you for a second like she’s trying to decode an alien language, then exhales sharply and mutters, “holy shit, i need a drink.”
across the room, haechan shifted forward in his seat now, elbows on his knees, script open, highlighter cap in his mouth. you glance up once, and he’s already looking at you. his mouth quirks. not a smirk. not a dare. just that same soft expression. your fingers tighten slightly around your script before the two of you take your spots on stage.
the rehearsal is going surprisingly smooth. almost like someone replaced the decades-old scripts of your dynamic with a gentler rewrite. one where your lines don’t burn with anger when you speak them, where eye contact doesn’t feel like a threat. you’re standing across from haechan in the middle of the stage, your fingers laced loosely in front of you, your posture careful but relaxed.
“romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both,” jongho says, fully immersed in his friar laurence voice, hands folded solemnly like he’s performing an actual ceremony. you glance at haechan as he steps toward you. he leans in and brushes a kiss to your lips, soft, almost reverent, and you do your best to ignore the tiny spark that settles in your chest and fizzles straight to your toes.
“as much to him, else is his thanks too much,” you say with quiet warmth, smiling through the line. you kiss him again, this one just a touch longer, just a breath closer than necessary.
he pulls back slightly, meeting your eyes, “ah, juliet, if the measure of thy joy be heaped like mine and that thy skill be more. to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath. this neighbor air and…,” he trails off.
there’s a beat of silence. his eyes flick to the side. nothing comes. you raise an eyebrow, “o romeo, are you lagging?”
a ripple of laughter breaks out across the room. haechan narrows his eyes at you, but he’s grinning, the corners of his mouth twitching, “no my juliet, i’m connecting to the server.”
“oh, sorry, i forgot this version of romeo runs on the internet.” the laughter grows. even mr. doyoung chuckles softly from behind his script.
haechan places a hand dramatically on his chest, staggering back a step, “you wound me, juliet.”
you place a hand on your hip, “you forgot your line in the middle of our wedding. i think i’m the one who should be wounded.”
he opens his mouth to reply, but before he can get a word out, sanha, who’s been watching this unfold with wide eyes, throws in a “i knew it was too good to be true.”
the laughter dies down. there’s a shift, a pause, one of those delicate moments that could tilt either way. everyone glances between the two of you, waiting to see if the air will thicken with old tension again.
but then haechan shrugs, smile still soft, “can’t friends banter?”
the room stills. the word hovers between you like a fragile thing, spoken so casually but carrying so much more weight than anyone expected.
friend wasn’t exactly the word people would describe your relationship to be.
your heart skips, not in a dramatic way, just a quiet flutter, like it’s catching up to something your brain already knew. you look at him and he’s already looking at you. there’s something behind his eyes, a private little spark, a shared joke, like the two of you are in on something no else quite understands.
you smile, slow and real, “exactly,” you say, “friends banter.”
everyone goes quiet again, not with tension but surprise. you can practically hear the mental recalibration of the room. yujin’s mouth is slightly open, xiaojun has an eyebrow raise, jongho is looking back and forth in between you, wondering how he got himself stuck in the middle of all this.
mr. doyoung clears his throat and claps his hands once, “alright, let’s run it again. from romeo’s line.”
haechan pick up his script, quickly reading it over, still grinning. as you take your mark beside him, his shoulder brushes yours, barely noticeable but deliberate. neither of you move away.
♕
the next day, after rehearsal ends and the cast slowly filters out, you find yourself lingering in the black box again, volunteering to put away the chairs. it’s quiet, dimly lit, the echoes of the day still in the air in half-muttered lines, scattered laughter, a crumpled water bottle forgotten in the wings. you’re sitting on the edge of the stage, kicking your heels lightly against the wood. then you hear footsteps, unhurried, familiar. haechan joins you a beat later, collapsing beside you with a dramatic groan.
“remind me why we volunteered for this, again?,” he sighs, eyes closed, head tilted toward the ceiling.
you smirk, “well, i volunteered for this because i haven’t helped out since week one. you just…showed up.”
he cracks one eye open and turns his head toward you, grinning, “right. my hero complex. forgot.”
you nudge him with your shoulder, and for a second it feels like nothing ever changed between you. like the years of eye-rolls and cold shoulders never happened. like you’re just you and he’s just him, and all the old memories you both tried to forget have started quietly knocking again.
“so,” you say playfully, “you do realize you completely blacked out on your monologue yesterday, right?”
he groans again, louder this time, slumping so far sideways he’s almost sliding off the stage, “don’t remind me, i saw my life flash before my eyes, mr. doyoung’s disappointment in 4k.”
you turn toward him, grinning, “my favorite part was when you just stood there, blinking like you got hit with a windows error.”
haechan throws a hand over his eyes, “i was reconnecting!, you caught me mid-update.”
you burst out laughing, the sound echoing off the walls. it makes him look at you again, and not in the usual teasing way. he watches the way your face lights up, the way your shoulders shake with it, and something in his chest aches – warm and familiar.
“i’ll admit,” you say between giggles, “that line delivery of mine? ‘o romeo, are you lagging?’ oscar-worthy.”
“you’re insufferable,” he grumbles, but he’s smiling too.
you both go quiet for a moment, the air between you charged in a way it didn’t used to be — or maybe always was, back before either of you knew what to call it.
“did you see jongho’s face?,” you ask, biting back a grin.
he grins, eyes lighting up, “he looked like he was witnessing a miracle. like we were gonna shake hands and start a foundation for world peace.”
“yujin nearly dropped her phone” you snort, “i think she thought she was hallucinating.”
he chuckles, nudging you slightly, “we should’ve milked it, gone on tour with our peace treaty, sold merch, team haechan and team y/n shirts.”
you roll your eyes, smiling despite yourself, “we’d have sold out shows every night.”
he looks at you for a beat longer than necessary, “you know… it’s weird.”
you glance over, “what is?”
“this,” he says quietly, “us. talking like this again, it feels…,” he pauses, searching for the word, “familiar.”
you don’t say anything right away, because you feel it too. that quiet pull. that ache. the thing that never fully went away. you both know it. you were each other’s person. before the hate took over, before the jabs. before either of you figured out that pushing someone away is sometimes easier than letting them in.
“yeah,” you say softly, “it does.”
then he shifts slightly, glancing sideways, “so…friends banter, huh?”
you raise a brow, “you said it.”
“and you didn’t disagree,” he says softer now. there’s no teasing in his voice, just curiosity.
you nod, “nope, i didn’t.”
he smiles. not that smug, sharp smile you used to hate. this one’s crooked, earnest. and you smile back, the same kind of smile, the kind you don't have to guard. the smile you give to a friend. but something in the way you look at each other says maybe not just that forever. maybe just that for now.
he bumps his shoulder into yours, “so, friend…you buying me lunch tomorrow?”
you scoff, “you forgot your lines. i should be the one charging you.”
he grins, that glint sneaking back into his eyes, “fine, princess. lunch tomorrow. cafeteria. my treat.”
the nickname is gentler now, filled with a sort of affection that makes your heart skip a beat. you tilt your head, pretending to consider, “as long as you don’t freeze mid-sentence again.”
he leans just slightly closer, his voice barely above a murmur, “only if you promise to tease me about it again.”
you pretend to roll your eyes, but you’re smiling…big now. unrestrained. the kind that feels like sunlight in your chest. you think about everything that’s happened. the years of arguing. the pushing and pulling. the kisses that weren’t on the script. the ones that came after, the magnetic pull of him. the electric tension you thought would destroy you both. now somehow reshaped into this — a strange, slow return to something lighter. something that still pulses underneath with heat.
you walk out side by side, the distance between you closer than it was yesterday.
♕
the next day, true to his word, haechan meets you outside the cafeteria, two iced choco’s in hand and a stupidly triumphant grin on his face like he just won a prize.
“you drink this, right?,” he says, handing you one without waiting for an answer, “i know it used to be your favorite, i just don’t know if you still like it now,” he rambles, a little nervous.
you take it, brushing your fingers lightly against his, “of course I still like it now,” you say with a smile that you don’t quite realize is soft enough to knock the wind out of him, “thank you.”
“anything for the princess,” he winks as you roll your eyes playfully. you find a corner table by the windows, where the sun spills across the scratched plastic surface and turns your drinks gold. the campus buzzes around you, students passing by with backpacks slung low, the distant hum of conversations and clinking trays.
haechan orders sandwiches for you both, and without asking, skips the pickles on yours. you notice, and you don’t say anything, but the fact that he remembered that makes something in your chest swell and ache at the same time. there’s something undeniably easy about it all. about him. you fall into a rhythm of banter, half jokes, and snide comments wrapped in smiles that linger just a little too long. it’s almost too easy to forget that the two of you hated each other. almost too easy to remember that once, you didn’t.
you’re in the middle of a joke when a voice interrupts the moment — “hey, haechan,” your eyes turn towards the voice. it’s ryujin. and she’s leaning against the edge of the table, hair in a pretty messy bun in that effortless dancer way, water bottle in hand, wearing one of those crop tops that make everyone in the building do a double take. she flashes him a bright smile.
“you didn’t show up to the party last night,” she says, teasing but with a bite that suggests she noticed and cared.
haechan blinks like he wasn’t expecting her, “oh, yeah, i–uh, fell asleep early,” he shifts in his seat, his legs brushing yours under the table. then he glances at you, a quick flicker of a look, like a reflex. it’s so fast. he probably thinks you missed it. but you didn't.
ryujin giggles lightly and touches his shoulder, a fleeting gesture that might have meant nothing to anyone else, “we’re always missing out on each other,” she pouts.
you glance down at your sandwich. you can’t bring yourself to keep watching. your appetite vanishes somewhere between her hand and his smile.
“yeah,” haechan forced out, then clears his throat, trying to find words.
you miss the awkward way he scratches the back of his neck, the polite distance in his voice that doesn’t quite match ryujin’s energy. he’s not flirting back but he’s not shutting it down either.
ryujin’s gaze finally flickers to you, her smile dimming just slightly, “hey.”
you smile, sharp and polite “hey.”
she lingers. just enough to make it weird. then flicks her hair over her shoulder and turns back to him, “you’re mine at the next party, okay?”
haechan lets out a nervous laugh, “cool. yeah.” it comes out a little too fast, like he’s agreeing just to make the moment end. he wishes the ground could just swallow him whole. he doesn’t even know why the mere action of ryujin flirting with him around you is getting him all flustered.
she finally walks away and you don’t say anything at first. you take a sip from your drink just to have something to do with your hands. haechan exhales like he’s just escaped a fire.
you arch an eyebrow, still not looking at him, “you okay?”
he rubs his hands down his thighs, “yeah. that was…awkward.”
“didn’t look awkward from where i was sitting,” you mutter, voice a little sharper than intended.
he turns to you, caught off guard by your tone, “be serious.”
you poke the lettuce in your sandwich, “haven’t you been flirting with her since forever?,” you comment. it wasn’t exactly a secret to the rest of the university that the two had the hots for each other. just like how it wasn’t a secret that the two of you can’t stand each other.
“yeah, well. that was before,” he says without thinking.
“before what?,” you ask, raising a brow, your eyes finally meeting his.
he goes quiet. you wait. he’s already looking at you, his expression unreadable. there’s a long pause, like he’s debating something. then he looks away, his voice low “nothing. never mind.”
you don’t push. but your stomach twists in a way that’s hard to ignore. you weren’t supposed to care. he’s just a friend. that’s what you agreed on.
then he forces out a laugh, soft and a little shaky, he bumps your foot under the table, voice casual, “so” he murmurs, “you’re totally jealous.”
you nearly choke on your sandwich, “am not.”
“you looked at your sandwich like you wanted it dead,” he points out, teasing.
you narrow your eyes at him, but your lips twitch anyway, “you’re officially delirious.”
he grins, that same crooked, trouble-making grin that used to make your blood boil and now just… makes it rush. you roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink, hiding your smile behind the straw. but your cheeks feel warm. and your heart feels stupid.
because yeah, maybe you were jealous. and maybe that means this thing between you, this not-quite-friends, not-quite-something-else, is barreling toward a truth you’re both trying not to name.
♕
the lights flash neon blue and pink over the velvet booths and sticky tables. it was karaoke night with your castmates. the room filled with laughter, everyone sipping cheap drinks, flipping through the karaoke’s binder, music pulsing through the speakers, everyone pretending they’re not stressed about the upcoming show. haechan leans against the booth, one arm resting over the backrest, drink in hand. usually you sit in the booth farthest away from him, but tonight, tonight you’re sitting right next to him, trying not to notice the way his shoulders brush yours every so often. the way it sparks something irritatingly warm in your chest.
“you do know you’re not getting out of singing, right?” you say, a smirk playing on your lips as you leaned over to talk in his ear, loud enough for him to hear over changbin and wooyoung currently performing hamilton.
he raises an eyebrow, ignoring the way your breath sends goosebumps all over his spine, “who said i was trying to?”
“you haven’t signed up once,” you point out.
“maybe i’m waiting,” he says, turning his head so you're closer than before, so close you catch the faint smell of his cologne, the woody powdery scent that makes your brain fuzzy, “for the right song and the right partner,” he glances at you. there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“are you asking me to duet, lee donghyuck?,” you smirk.
“only if you think you can keep up,” he says, a playful smile on his lips.
minutes later you’re both up front, two microphones in hand. you give him a sideways glance as the intro to what is this feeling starts playing. haechan smirks when he sees the lyrics pop up on the screen.
“what is this feeling, so sudden and new?,” he starts. of course he was galinda, milking the drama, throwing in that little hair flip that makes you giggle. you both slip into character. the room blurs. it’s just you and him.
“loathing. unadulterated loathing,” he levels you with an exaggerated glare.
“for your face — your voice — your clothing!,” you match his energy, pacing in time with him like two cats ready to pounce. the song becomes a battleground, but its play fighting. banter wrapped around melody. and you feel like a child again.
“let’s just say we loathe it all!” you end, breathless and giddy.
the room erupts, howling with laughter and applause. but something about the moment slows. the harmony lingers longer than it should. haechan’s eyes meet yours, you don’t look away.
an hour later the bar started to empty out. castmates peel off into groups, calling rides or walking to the subway in clumps. you’re slipping your jacket on when you feel someone fall into step beside you.
“you’re walking home?” haechan asks casually, hands shoved in his coat pockets.
you nod, “it’s not far.”
“i’ll walk with you,” he says, like it’s not even a question. like it’s a given.
the streets are quieter now, only the hum of traffic and the occasional siren echoing down the avenue. the moon reflecting shimmer in puddles, and there’s a leftover thrill buzzing under your skin from the performance, from him.
he kicks at a pebble, glancing over at you, “so… we make a pretty good team.”
you bump your shoulder into his lightly, “don’t let it get to your head.”
“too late, princess” he says with a grin.
you walk in silence for a beat, the good kind, where it doesn’t feel like something needs to be said. then, softly, “we’re pretty good at being friends,” you murmur, eyes fixed on the sidewalk.
you feel him glance at you before he answers “yeah,” he says, just as quiet, “we are.”
your fingers don’t touch, but they hang close enough that the space between them feels loud. you look up at him then, and he gives you that crooked, genuine smile that always comes out when he thinks no one’s watching.
“thanks for walking me,” you say when you reach your building.
he nods, “always.” there’s a pause. that kind where you could either wave and walk away or not. then haechan opens his arms slightly, like he’s offering, but not assuming. and you don’t even hesitate. you step into him, arms wrapping around his torso. he’s warm and steady around your shoulders. it’s not rushed. not awkward. it’s one of those hugs that feels like it’s saying a lot more than either of you are willing to put into words just yet.
you breathe him in and for a second, it feels like the rest of the world goes quiet. he pulls back first, but slowly, like he’s not quite ready either. his hands brush your arms before he lets go.
“night, princess,” he says, teasing, voice a little huskier than before.
you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, “night, hyuck.”
and even though nothing’s said, and nothing happens, it still feels like something changed. like you both felt it, even if you’re pretending not to.
♕
hyuck: wanna come over and watch mamma mia 2 tonight?
princess: the one that came out when we hated each other?
hyuck: yeah, thought it might be poetic or whatever >.<
you almost laugh out loud when you read it. of all the movies. that one. the one released right in the thick of your worst arguments, during the year neither of you could say a full sentence without wanting to kill each other. the one you couldn’t bring yourself to watch in theater because all you could remember was watching the first one with him.
princess: will there be popcorn?
hyuck: of course
princess: see you later ;)
by the time you arrive at the frat house, it’s quiet. most of the guys are out for the night and the place, for once, feels peaceful. lived-in, but cozy. haechan greets you at the door with popcorn in one hand and remote in the other.
“just you, me and ABBA,” he says, a playful smile on his face as you make your way to his living room.
you smirk, stepping inside, “scared i’ll out-sing you?”
his laugh is automatic, “you wish.”
you settle on the couch, blanket tossed between the two of you. you don’t sit close, not at first. but as the movie plays, as waterloo kicks in and the popcorn dwindles and your feet end up tangled somewhere under the blanket, the space between you shrinks. neither of you mentions it. you both sing along, loud and obnoxious, voices overlapping in messy harmonies, especially during why did it have to be me, elbowing each other like teenagers. there’s a softness in it. a safety. like the memories that used to hurt have dulled around the edges and all that’s left now is warmth. you’re both grinning so hard it hurts. the kind of joy you haven’t let yourself feel around him in years. by angel eyes you’re leaning into him more than you mean to. his shoulder’s warm. you let yourself rest there, just for a second. but the second turns into minutes. and by the time my love, my life begins to play, you’ve gone quiet, breaths slow and even, your head tilted gently against him.
he doesn't dare move.
the movie goes on, but he doesn’t register it anymore. not really. he’s too aware of you, curled up beside him, cheek pressed into his hoodie, peacefully asleep. like you completely trust him again. and that’s when it hits him.
it’s not a surprise. not a sudden realization. just something he’s been trying to ignore finally catching up to him — he never stopped liking you.
not when you fought. not when you ignored each other in the hallways and on stage and in classes. not even when he flirted with other girls, trying to replace the hole you burned through him with something lighter, simpler. but no one ever did. no one even came close. because it’s always been you. under his skin. in his lungs. every song he sang louder just so you’d hear it. every stupid joke he cracked just so you would see him.
and now, god, now it’s stronger than ever. because he’s not just thinking about how right this feels. he’s thinking about you. the way you laughed tonight, unguarded. the way you trusted him enough to fall asleep on him like this. the way you’ve been slowly letting him back in.
but underneath that softness, beneath all the fragile peace you’ve built…is something hungrier. something heavier.
because now he knows the way your lips feel on his, hot and frantic, laced with fury and desperation. the weight of your body tangled with his, all tension and sharp edges and need. he remembers the night you both gave in to it. when everything between you collided and combusted and for a few stolen hours, nothing else existed. the sound you made when he was inside you. the way you clung to him like you hated him for how good it felt.
he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it since. about you. that night. the taste of your skin. the way he wanted more, even then. the way he still wants more now — he wants to feel you again but not like that. not angry. not bitter. not as a mistake to bury. he wants to feel you without the weight of a grudge between you.
that’s what scares him the most. because you’re just starting to rebuild whatever fragile thread of friendship you’ve stitched together. if he leans in again, if he fucks this up, he’s not sure either of you will come back from it.
so he doesn’t move. doesn’t speak. just lets you rest against him, eyes fixed on the credits. heart beating loud and traitorous in his chest. he tells himself it’s enough but he knows it won't be for long because he never wanted to be just your friend — not really. not ever. not then. and definitely not now.
ཐིཋྀ the eight week of rehearsals
monday comes again you spot him in rehearsals, sitting in his usual chair. and for the first time, you chose to sit on the chair next to him. you wait for his usual greeting, that charming smirk, the lifted eyebrows, the dumb pun about how you finally couldn’t resist sitting next to the greatest.
but none of it comes.
he doesn’t raise his brows and say something stupid just to make you roll your eyes. he just nods. quiet and distant.
“hi,” you offer as you approach, a smile on your face.
“hey,” he replies, without looking at you. it throws you off. not completely. just enough that your smile falters a little.
but it doesn't stop there. during rehearsals, he’s all business. focused. he doesn’t crack jokes during warmups like he usually does. even when you fumble a line and instinctively glance at him for a reaction, he doesn’t meet your eyes. there are no friendly banters. it’s like someone hit the switch on him over the weekend. and sure, he talks to you. he doesn’t ignore you completely. but it’s colder. measured. like he’s rehearsing something behind every word.
at break, you sit on the edge of the stage like always but he doesn’t join you. he stretches with the boys instead, laughing a little too loudly at something that isn’t even funny.
you feel it — the difference. the detachment. like he’s edited you out of a movie scene where you once had top billing.
you watch from across the room, trying not to let it show that you notice. but you do. you notice everything. the way he keeps his distance. the way his gaze skips over you in group conversation. the way he leaves rehearsal without waiting, mumbling something about being late for a meeting you’re not even sure exists.
you tell yourself it’s fine. you’re friends. it’s just a weird day. maybe he’s tired. maybe something’s going on. maybe he did have a meeting. maybe it’s nothing.
but the thing is — it doesn’t feel like nothing. and it stings. because just last week you were creating new inside jokes, sharing lunch, singing duets, watching movies, laughing so hard your stomach hurt. and just two nights ago, you fell asleep on his shoulder and he let you and for one quiet, perfect evening, it felt like maybe, maybe, you were finding your way back to something real. and now? now he won’t even look at you.
later, you replay the night in your mind, trying to pinpoint what went wrong. the way he sang with a fake swedish accent, making you laugh until your ribs hurt. the way you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. like you were something precious. something fragile. nothing about that night felt off. but now he’s acting like you’re glass that cracked when he wasn’t looking, and he doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces without bleeding.
you want to call him out. ask what the hell you did. demand to know why he’s shutting you out when you were finally figuring out how to be in the same room without burning. but you don’t. you don’t say a word. because maybe you were just being dramatic. or maybe because part of you is scared of the answer.
and part of you, the part that still aches for him even now, kind of wishes you could just go back to hating each other. at least then, he looked at you like he meant it.
♕
it’s been a few days since and things have gotten worse. you can’t put your finger on it exactly. nothing obvious. no big blow up. no fight. just the absence of something that was almost there.
he shows up to every rehearsal, still jokes with the cast, still reads his lines. but with you? he’s quieter. not cold, not cruel. just careful. like he’s watching every word, every glance, weighing them all in his head before he lets them go. like he’s trying to keep something from slipping out. something that used to dance at the edge of his smirks and linger in the way he looked at you, that soft, half-daring thing that felt almost too real.
you hate it. so you do something about it. you text him on a thursday evening in a moment of impulsive hope or maybe desperation.
princess: you doing anything tomorrow night? a few of us are going to the A.M. 127 bar, you should come.
you watch the message go through, then you toss your phone aside like it didn’t cost you anything to send. it takes him an hour to respond.
hyuck: ah wish i could but i’m busy. have to finish a write-up for theater theory and help mark with something
you stare at it, a little too long. looking for cracks in the excuse. for anything that might explain why it sounds like a gentle rejection and not just a scheduling conflict. and when you finally type out a reply, something nonchalant, unaffected, you send it before you can overthink.
princess: all good. good luck :)
you toss your phone again, harder this time, like the weight in your chest might go with it. you won’t be bitter. you can’t be bitter. he doesn’t owe you anything. he doesn’t have to show up just because you asked. you’re friends now. just friends. friends have boundaries. friends don’t need each other to say yes.
but the next night while waiting for your drink with yujin at the loud, dimly lit bar, you make the mistake of scrolling through your phone. the story flashes before you even realize what you’re watching. a living room, lights flickering, people playing a game of beer pong.
and there, clear as day – haechan. leaning against the arm of the couch. grinning. and next to him? ryujin. tucked comfortably into his side like she’s always belonged there. laughing at something he says, head tipped toward him, her hand casually resting on his thigh like she doesn’t even have to think about it.
the clip is only ten seconds long. but it affects you more than it should. you click it again. watch it one more time. and another. and another — his head leans toward hers. he’s smiling. he looks easy with her. like nothing’s complicated. like nothing happened. like he didn’t freeze up around you this week. like he didn’t pull away just when things started to feel… possible.
you swallow around the twist in your chest, reaching out for your drink. you laugh too, like you’re fine, like you didn’t just get sucker punched by a few pixels on a screen. but inside, you feel like an absolute joke — a stupid, drunk punchline to a story you thought had changed.
you take a couple more shots before you were staring at your phone again. the last text between you still lit up on the screen.
“all good. good luck :)”
you hate the way it reads. detached. not real. not at all how you feel. and before you can stop yourself, before you can listen to your own logic, you’re tapping his name in your contacts and pressing call — it rings once. twice. you don't think he’ll answer. but by the third ring, his voice hits your ear, “hello?,” low, familiar, a little too steady. he’s not drunk.
you try to swallow around the words clogging your throat, “hey,” you say and you wince at how thin it comes out, “it’s me.”
a beat of silence. “yeah. i know,” he sounds softer, cautious now.
you almost laugh, “sorry,” you mutter, “i shouldn’t have called. just…ignore this, okay? just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“wait,” he says, sharp enough to stop you from ending the call, “are you okay?”
there he goes again. pretending he cares. you want to lie. say yeah, of course i’m great. but you’re tired. a little drunk. a little heartbroken. you laugh. it sounds bitter, “what do you think?”
another pause. you can hear the voices in the background. the loud music. ryujin’s laugh. the exact same sound from the video. and it scrapes at your ribs.
“you said you were busy,” you say and this time you don’t try to hide the shake in your voice, “you said you had to help mark with something.”
“i did,” he replies, and god, he sounds so calm it makes your chest burn, “plans changed.”
“right,” you whisper, “funny how that happens.”
he’s quiet again and maybe that should be your cue to hang up. to end this before it gets pathetic. but you can’t. not when it feels like he’s been slipping further and further away all week.
“i just didn’t expect to see you with her,” you admit, a little too bare, too honest, too messy, “that’s all.”
he exhales slowly. you can hear voices in the background, someone calling his name. he murmurs something away from the phone, you can’t make it out. when he speaks again, he’s quieter, “it’s not what you think.”
you smile without warmth, “okay,” you say because what else can you say? you were in no position to tell him who he can and can’t hang out with. you were in no position to even get jealous. he doesn’t explain further. he doesn’t need to. you were just his friend.
“you’ve been weird all week,” you say suddenly, “and i’ve been trying not to take it personally, but–,” you cut yourself off.
“but what?,” he asks. you swallow hard, “i don’t know. i guess i thought we were friends again.”
“we are,” he says quickly. too quickly.
“then why are you pushing me away?,” you ask, voice soft and quiet.
another breath from him, a pause that stretches, “i’m not.”
“you are. you stopped looking at me. you stopped cracking jokes,” you blink hard, throat thick, “did i do something wrong? is this some kind of elaborate plan to hurt me the way i hurt you?”
“no.” he says quickly, “it’s not like that.” then the line goes silent. the music behind him fades.
“i’m just,” he finally says, the words slow and clipped, “trying to keep things simple right now.”
you nod even though he can’t see you. even though it didn’t make sense. even though nothing about you and him has ever been simple.
“okay,” you say again, “i’ll let you get back to your party.”
“princess–,” he starts.
but you’re already pulling the phone away, muttering out a hollow “bye,” and ending the call before he can stop you.
you hang up, phone trembling in your hand, heart heavier than before. you didn’t get answers. didn’t get clarity. didn’t get the version of him who sang ABBA at the top of his lungs and leaned into you like you were home. you just got silence. distance. a half-hearted promise that meant nothing.
♕
you don’t remember how many drinks it takes to get you there – that hazy, floating kind of drunk. the kind that makes everything feel like it’s underwater and glowing. you’re not sad, not exactly. just…empty. tired in a way that no one can see.
yujin left a while ago, with a boy she’s been making out with the whole night. she kissed your cheek goodbye, making you promise to uber home. you said of course and waved her off with a smile too big for your face. then you stayed and ordered another drink. and another. let the night blur until it felt like you didn’t exist anymore.
the bartender starts to notice around 2:00 a.m. – you’re sitting slouched over the counter. your lips are slightly smeared and your mascara smudged just enough to make you look fragile. breakable. like someone who doesn’t know where she is or why she’s still here. you don’t notice the bartender hovering until he gently taps the bar in front of you, “hey” he says, voice low, kind, “you alright?”
you glance up, slow and reluctant, eyes glassy, unfocused, trying to read his blurry nametag: johnny. you try to smile at him but your mouth doesn’t quite cooperate, “mm fine, johnny,” you mumble, slurring your words.
he gives you a long look, his voice is still gentle but it sharpens a little at the edges, “that’s not true.”
you shake your head, try to sit up straighter, but the motion tilts the room again. you let out a soft, pathetic-sounding laugh, “okay, maybe not, but i’ll be fine.”
johnny sighs, the kind of sigh that says he’s seen this before. too many times. he pulls out a clean glass of water, slides it in front of you, “drink this.”
you do. drunk enough to drink anything a stranger would give. then he looks at you again, soft but steady, “i’m gonna call someone for you, okay? just to make sure you get home safe.”
you blink, the words registering slower than normal, “no–it’s—dont. please. i’m fine, i can–”
“you’re not fine,” he says gently but firm. you don’t argue again. you’re too tired.
“here,” you mumble, unlocking your phone with clumsy fingers, “pick whoever you want, i don’t care,” you say, giving in. he scrolls through your recent calls, lifts the phone to his ear.
“yo…hey…is this hyuck?,” his voice rings in your ear but you were too out of it to care, “yeah, hi i’m a bartender at A.M. 01:27, i’ve got a girl here, this is her phone, she’s pretty out of it. not in danger or anything just too drunk to leave alone. you were the last person she called, so…,” his voice drifts off in the background as your forehead sinks into your arms, head dropped to the counter, letting the drowsiness take over.
time passes. or maybe it doesn’t. you don’t really know.
then you hear your name. you lift your head slowly, the bar has started to spin again or maybe your brain has. same difference. you squint your eyes open and he is there, standing next to you, hoodie pulled over his hair, cheeks flushed from the cold.
“define ‘okay,” you mutter, pushing yourself up. you sway a little and his hand is instantly under your elbow, steadying you.
“got it,” he murmurs, sliding an arm around your waist, “let’s go.”
“wow,” you say under your breath, stumbling slightly as he helps you toward the exit, “my hero, coming to my rescue so fast, didn’t know i still mattered.”
“i got a call from a man who doesn’t even know you,” he mutters, jaw tight, “forgive me if i didn’t love that scenario.”
you glance up at him as he opens the passenger door, “jealous?” he doesn’t answer. doesn’t even look at you. just helps you in, buckles the seatbelt with a sigh and shuts the door.
the drive is quiet. not awkward. not exactly. but there’s a weight between you. thick and humming. some ghost made of the things you never said. haechan’s hands grip the wheel tight, knuckles white, eyes locked on the road. the glow from the dash throws soft light across his face, shadows catching in the curve of his jaw, the dip under his cheekbone. you watch him in sideways glances, arms crossed tight to your chest like you’re holding yourself together. the city fades. buildings blur into darkness. music plays low from the stereo, some playlist he forgot to turn off. you don’t say much. neither does he. but slowly, gradually, the fog in your brain starts to clear. your head feels less floaty. your pulse settles. your tongue feels normal in your mouth again. you blink. you breathe.
you’re starting to sober up. enough to feel the cracks again. enough for the ache to come back clearer than before — and when the gps chimes that you’re ten minutes away from your dorm, something inside you finally breaks.
“i hate you.” you whisper, eyes still on the road ahead.
his brow twitches, and he casts you a quick, startled glance, “what?”
you turn your head now, shoulders squaring toward him, the last drops of alcohol giving you courage, or maybe just stripping your fear down to its bare, shaking bones.
“i said, i hate you.”
maybe you say it because it’s real. maybe you wanted to get a reaction out of him. something. anything.
“okay,” he says, soft and resigned. like he’s letting you go without even trying to hold on. like he knew this was coming, “you’re drunk.
“i’m not that drunk,” you snap.
he continues focusing on the road. jaw tight.
“i hate your stupid face,” you go on, voice low but steady, “i hate your stupid little moles,” you take a breath, “i hate when you laugh without me.”
a pause. he wonders if you could hear the way his heart is thudding in his chest.
“i hate how you asked me to be friends again just to ignore me. i hate the way you act like nothing has happened between us.”
you pause. your chest tight. your throat is burning.
“i hate the way you look at me like you want to say something, but you won’t. i hate the way you leave me guessing, doubting, wondering if any of this is real.”
he doesn’t say a word. just silence so loud it echoes. you stare at him, heart pounding. you don’t cry. you just tell the truth, finally.
“i hate the way you make me feel,” you whisper, “i hate the way it’s so easy for me to fall for you.”
the words hang in the air, awful and honest. you feel them leave your mouth and you can’t take it back. he doesn’t pull over right away. but his jaw locks. his throat bobs with a swallow. and then he takes the next left, turns into a side street, dark and quiet, far from the dorms. no one’s around. just the sound of your breath and his. he parks the car and the silence rushes in. it’s deafening. the kind that drowns out everything else. it’s thick with all the things you’ve never said, with every unfinished sentence and swallowed apology.
then he turns toward you, eyes wide and raw, like he’s been trying to hold something in for so long it’s starting to hurt. like your words have cracked something open in him that he can’t put back.
“don’t.” he says, barely a whisper. “don’t say that. not when you don’t mean it.”
but you don’t look away, “i do mean it.”
and for a second, neither of you speak. neither of you move. it’s all there between you. the longing, the ache, the silence that always meant more — and you’ve filled it up. you’ve cracked the quiet open and poured the truth inside it.
now there’s nothing left to hide behind. you see it. the wreckage in him. the war. the part of him that wants to reach for you. and the part of him terrified that if he does, you’ll disappear.
he exhales, slowly and shaky, like he’s trying to steady himself on the edge of something steep, “i didn’t think you felt it,” he murmurs, voice rough like it’s been scraped raw from the inside, “i kept telling myself you wouldn’t. that you couldn’t.”
you stay quiet, letting him unravel. he laughs then, a broken little sound, hollow and helpless, “i told myself if i just kept my distance, if i just waited long enough… whatever i was feeling would die out. that i’d get over it. that i won’t ruin our friendship again.”
he doesn’t look at you when he says it. he looks straight ahead, like the truth will hurt less if he doesn’t have to see your face when he says it out loud.
“but it didn’t,” he whispered, “it just got worse.”
the confession spills out now, uncontained. he can’t stop it, and he doesn’t try to anymore.
“you were everywhere. in my phone, in my stupid dreams, in every fucking song. and i hated that i couldn’t shake you,” he turns to look at you then, finally. his eyes are glassy, dark and tired. no walls left.
“i tried to be your friend,” he says desperately, “i tried so fucking hard. but every time you smiled at me, it felt like i was falling, every time you laughed, i wanted more and every time i felt you next to me, it’s like i couldn’t control myself.”
your breath hitches, but he doesn’t stop.
“i don’t want to be your friend.”
he looks at you. eyes quickly darting down your lips.
“im in love with you.” he lets the words settle in the air and then he adds, “and i want you in a way that friends shouldn’t. i always have.”
the words fall between you like a match dropped on gasoline. hot and sudden and irreversible.
“i’m tired of pretending this doesn’t wreck me,” he adds, voice low, “that you don’t wreck me.”
you don’t move. you just look at him. and in his eyes, you see it all. the quiet desperation, the resentment at himself for still loving you, the hope he keeps trying to kill. the truth sits heavy in your chest, rising fast, threatening to drown you. but you don't back away from it now. you don’t want to. because you know that you wreck him the same way he wrecks you.
you don’t remember moving. just the heat in your chest, the ache behind your ribs, the sound of your own pulse pounding in your ears. one second, you’re sitting there, breath shallow, heart torn wide open. the next, your hand is on his jaw, guiding his face toward yours and his mouth is crashing into yours. the rawness in the way he kissed you like he was trying to erase every second of space that has ever existed between you.
it’s not soft. it’s not tentative. it’s months of denial, weeks of tension and years of everything left unsaid, finally snapping all at once. and he kisses you like he’s drowning in it. his hands tangle in your hair, bringing you impossibly closer, “fuck, you’re a dream,” he manages to say in between kisses.
you kiss him harder to prove that you weren’t. that you were here and real and his for the taking. his hands are on your thighs, pushing your dress up roughly, bunching the fabric around your waist like he can’t get it out of the way fast enough. you scramble into his lap, straddling him in the driver's seat, your knees bracketing his hips, your breath already coming in fast.
he groans against your mouth, hot and frantic and trembling slightly. you break the kiss to breathe, but it’s useless, he leans in again, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath ragged.
“tell me to stop,” he murmurs, voice wrecked, “just once. say it, and i will.”
your soaked panties brush against the bulge in his jeans and he groans, deep and guttural. you shake your head, lips brushing his “don't tell me you’re gonna go soft on me just because we’re in love now.”
he pulls back slightly, stunned, like he can’t believe what he just heard, “we?”
you give him a soft, unguarded smile, “yes, hyuck. i’m in love with you too.”
that’s all it takes. the look in his eyes changes — burning hotter. darker. his mouth is on your throat, kissing a trail down to your collarbone, hands everywhere, under your dress, against your skin, gripping your waist like he’s scared you’ll vanish. the space is cramped, bodies tangled, breath fogging up the windows, but you don’t care about anything except the way his hands feel on your bare skin, the way he groans when your fingers thread into his hair and pull just a little, the way his hips arch up into yours like he’s come undone.
“you think love means soft?” he rasps, voice shredded, “you think i don’t still want to fuck you like i’ve been starving?”
his hands slide up under your dress, dragging your panties down to your thighs. he leans you back, your spine meeting the steering wheel. it’s a little awkward, a little painful, but it vanishes the moment his fingers slip between your folds.
“god, look at you,” he pants against your mouth, dragging two fingers through your folds. “you’re fucking soaked for me, princess”
you moan when he presses in, one finger at first, rough and fast, no buildup, the feel of his cool rings against your cunt making you jerk in his lap, head thrown back against the roof, thighs already quaking.
“not soft,” he growls into your skin, “not even close.”
“shut up and—fuck—fuck me already,” you moan, hips chasing the rhythm of his finger.
“no,” he snaps, a smirk on his lips, “not until i make you come on my fingers,” he groans, and then he starts really working you open. inserting another digit, angling it just right, fucking into you like he knows exactly where to go, exactly how to ruin you. his palm grinds against your clit in tight, mean circles, and it’s so much, so fast, your knees buckle on either side of him, moans of his name filling the night air, and he has to hold you down with one arm wrapped around your waist.
“you can take it, right?” he hisses, fucking you faster, “don’t tell me you’re gonna break on me now.”
“i won’t,” you whine, “i won’t, hyuck, d-don’t stop,” you beg. his cock twitching in his pants at the mere sound of his name on your lips — all needy and desperate and his. he curls his fingers harder, presses deeper, and the filthy sounds of your wetness fill the car like music to his ears. your dress is hitched around your hips, tits threatening to spill out of the neckline, and you’re so far gone you’re grinding down on his hand like you need it to survive.
“you look so fucking pretty like this,” he growls, thumb swiping across your clit like he’s trying to rip the orgasm out of you, “fucking yourself on my hand, begging for it.”
you gasp, legs trembling, feeling yourself start to come apart. and he’s obsessed with how you clench around him, how your moans go sharp and high and desperate.
“that’s it princess,” he pants, watching you with hooded eyes as you get lost in the pleasure, “let go for me.” you do. you come hard, panting, shaking in his lap as his fingers keep coaxing you through it, soaking his palm as you cry out against his shoulder, nails digging into his biceps.
he doesn’t stop right away. only after your legs go limp, after you push his hand away, after you twitch around him too much to handle another second. then, only then does he pulls his fingers out, slick and glistening, and brings them to his mouth, “tastes like fucking heaven,” he groans, licking them clean like it’s nothing.
“now ride me and take what’s yours, princess,” he grunts in your ear. you’re still panting, legs shaking, but your hands move on instinct, unzipping his jeans, pulling him out. he grabs his wallet, pulling out a small foil wrapper, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it on with practiced urgency.
the second he’s ready, he drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, slowly. sending goosebumps throughout your body. you can’t take another second of teasing. you grab the base of his cock, making him grunt in response. then you align him in your entrance and finally sink down, both of you breaking at the feeling.
“ahh, fuck,” he hisses, forehead thudding back against the seat. his hands grip your thighs so tight it borders on bruising, “you’re so fucking tight.”
you don’t give him time to catch his breath. you rise up and drop down again, harder this time. again. and again. the rhythm fast, desperate, almost punishing. the windows fog instantly. your dress is hitched up to your hips, sweat slick on your skin, your shared moans echoing through the small space as you bounce in his lap, riding him hard and reckless, the console digging into your spine with every movement.
“god, you feel so fucking good,” you gasp, fingers tangled in his hair. he yanks your neckline lower, finally letting your tits bounce out of your dress and his mouth is on them in an instant licking, biting, sucking like he wants to mark you up just so everyone knows you’re his.
“i never fucking stopped wanting you,” he growls against your sensitive nipple, “couldn’t sleep. couldn’t think. and now, fuck, you’re mine. you hear me?”
you grind harder, drunk on it now, his voice, the feel of him buried deep inside you, stretching you open, ruining you in the best way, “yes,” you moan, head tipped back, “yours hyuck, a-all yours.”
the car rocks. the wheel presses against your back. your thighs burn, vision blurring. his hands slide to your ass, fingers digging in to your thighs as he holds you up before fucking up into you with a speed that steals all the air from your lungs, each thrust ruining you as your legs shake in his grip and you practically scream.
“come for me,” he pants heavily, sweat dripping down his temple, “come on my cock, princess, come and let me feel it.”
you can’t do anything else but respond to him, tightening around him, crying out as your second orgasm hits you like a freight train. he follows right after, hips jerking, his hold on you loosens and you sink completely into his cock, a whiny moan escaping his lips as he empties into the condom, eyes squeezed shut, completely undone.
everything goes still. your breathing. his hands. the spinning inside your chest. you collapse against him, dress still bunched at your waist, tits on his chest, your forehead pressed to his neck, both of you wrecked and panting and clinging to each other.
haechan strokes your spine absently, soft and gentle, “you okay?” he murmurs, voice raw and hoarse, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. you nod into him. neither of you moves. then he says it, soft and tentative, “come home with me tonight,” he whispers, not ready for the night to end.
♕
his room smells like his cologne and laundry detergent and he’s kissing you again, slower this time, more like he’s savoring it. like he has all night. because he does. he lays you down on his bed, undresses you piece by piece, there’s none of that urgent need from earlier. just worship. mouth littering kisses all over your skin. hands skating over your hips like he still can’t believe he’s allowed to touch you like this.
you feel him all over again like it’s the first time. body moving together like it’s a dance you’ve always known. you let yourself fall under him. let yourself whimper when his hand slips between your thighs, let yourself pull him in close and kiss him breathless until the two of you reach that addicting high that you can’t seem to get enough of.
and later, when he’s spooning you under the sheets, arms tight around your waist and his mouth pressed to your shoulder, he mumbles, “you know i’m crazy about you, right?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, i know.”
when morning comes — you wake up alone. the warmth on the other side of the bed is gone, the sheets cooling. for a second, the room feels too quiet. your heart stutters, mind already racing with the outcome that he left.
you sit up, breath caught in your throat, but before you could wallow in the pity, the door creaks open, and there he is — tray in hand, hair still messy, sweatpants barely hanging on, wearing the exact kind of cocky grin that would usually drive you insane, except you’re too relieved to feel anything but full.
“breakfast for my one and only princess,” he says, voice obnoxiously proud. you blink at him, and it must be written all over your face, because his grin falters a little.
“hey,” he says, voice softening, as he places the tray carefully on the foot of the bed, taking a seat next to you, “you okay?”
you pull the covers up around you, shrug a little, “i just didn’t like waking up without you,” you admit, soft and quiet, almost afraid to be this honest, “i thought you left.”
a flicker of guilt passes behind his eyes, a tiny “oh,” slipping from his lips. the moment is soft, vulnerable, for two people who always dance around the other. you laugh a little under your breath, trying to shake it off, “stupid, i know, i mean, it’s you. you made it pretty clear you’re into me.”
“princess,” he says gently, arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you into his side, “it’s not stupid, i should’ve left a note or something.”
“what? ‘gone to make eggs, don’t spiral’?,” you say, realizing how dumb it sounded.
“exactly,” he deadpans, and you both laugh.
he brushes a strand of your hair away, more careful now, “we should probably work on being better at communicating, huh?”
“yeah,” you nod, forehead bumping his, “would’ve saved us, like… years of misery.”
he groans, dramatic this time, “don’t remind me, i was so annoying.”
“you’re still annoying,” you say sweetly, and he bites your shoulder in retaliation, making you squeal.
but when the laughter fades, his voice stays low, that quiet sincerity returning “i’m not gonna disappear, okay?”
you nod, “okay.”
“and i love you,” he says, gentler this time, no hesitation. just pure, stupid, real love.
your smile softens, “i love you too,” you say, leaning over to kiss him, not caring about morning breath or bedhead or the toast that’s probably getting cold.
he pulls away, breathless, a grin evident on his face, “the breakfast is gonna have to wait now,” he whispers in your ear.
you raise an eyebrow, “why?”
he leans in, voice low and warm in your ear, “because i’m hard again,” and you burst out laughing, “you’re insane.”
“insanely into my girlfriend,” he smirks, already kissing along your jaw. and you let him. because you’re his and he’s yours and it’s finally, finally, simple.
ཐིཋྀ tech week
it’s disgusting. absolutely, positively disgusting. at least, that’s the general consensus among the rest of the cast. just last month, people couldn’t stand being around the two of you because of how often you fought. every rehearsal a battleground, every interaction laced with venom.
but now? you’ve entered your full blown, pda-plagued, heart-eyes, can’t-stop-touching-each-other in-love era.
now, it’s kisses behind curtains, giggling into each other’s mouths between lighting cues, forehead touches during water breaks, fingers constantly linked even while you’re being given notes. and they don’t know what’s worse.
yeonjun throws a prop sword down dramatically, “i miss when you two hated each other, at least we had peace.”
“you’re just mad no one kisses you in between takes,” haechan fires back, smug, arm slung over your shoulder while you’re giggling into his hoodie.
someone on the crew threatens to hang a “no pda backstage,” sign after catching the two of you in a heated make out session.
but the real problem? the two of you are unstoppable.
even your arguments, and yes, you still argue, don’t last more than five minutes. you’ll bicker about stage directions or costume adjustments or whether haechan needs to dramatically fall to his knees when romeo sees juliet “dead,” and five minutes later he’ll be kissing you against a dressing room door whispering, “you’re hot when you're mad” against your lips.
and while the cast is absolutely suffering through your honeymoon phase – mr. doyoung is thriving. he walked into every rehearsal of this week with stars in his eyes, clapping wildly as you and haechan nail your death scene again. so in sync. so devastating. so tender you can feel every raw emotion behind the lines.
because now when haechan calls you “juliet,” it comes out breathless. now when you say, “my only love sprung from my only hate,” your voice cracks for real.
“do you SEE this chemistry?!,” mr. doyoung once cried, pointing dramatically at the stage, “this! this is art! this is why i casted you two!.” he might have even teared up once during the balcony scene. no one’s confirmed it but no one’s denying it either.
you and haechan just grin like idiots through it all. and when rehearsals wrap for the night, he always kisses you soft and slow and says, “can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.”
you roll your eyes, pretend it’s annoying, but you never pull away.
ཐིཋྀ opening night
the energy backstage is electric, nerves buzzing like static in the air, costumes perfectly pressed, everyone running through the lines they already know by heart. the theater is full. the lights are hot. mr. doyoung is pacing with a clipboard and thinly veiled tears in his eyes, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.
and you’re doing your opening night ritual – little handwritten letters, folded neatly, handed to each castmate and crew member like clockwork. it’s your thing. everyone knows it. something encouraging, something kind, something just sentimental enough to make people emotional right before they have to go on stage.
you hand one to ningning, who clutches it to her chest and says dramatically, “i’m framing this.” soobin reads his and calls you a menace for making him tear up right before the show. yujin hugs you tightly, muttering something about how she’s so happy she gets to do this with her best friend too.
haechan watches from a distance as you make your rounds. he’s trying to play it cool, arms crossed, leaning against a wall in his stupidly perfect costume, lips pressed together in a barely there smirk. but underneath he’s a little tense. not that he’d ever admit it — it’s been years since he got one of your letters. not since high school. but now, with you officially his girlfriend and practically glowing as you move through the cast, he cant help but wonder, did you write him one?
he doesn’t ask. he doesn’t want to look needy. but his eyes follow you everywhere. and finally, you approach him, holding a single remaining envelope.
you stop in front of him, one brow raised, playing innocent, “oh, looks like i have one more.”
he stares at you, slow and suspicious, “you’re unbelievable.” you just grin, sliding the note into his hand. he opens it. the handwriting is unmistakably yours – familiar and clean, like a secret only he gets to keep:
what do we say when we say juliet? romeo!
every moment with you is like a scene in a movie. going through my head now is the climax. the words i practiced thousands of times as if they were scripted – you are the protagonist of my life. i want to keep you forever. no one can fill your place…you’re irreplaceable.
p.s. you look so hot as romeo, i, too would have left my family just to feel your lips.
p.p.s romeo take me somewhere we can be alone? ;)
for a second, he forgets how to breathe. love coils tightly in his chest, but so does something hotter, something heady and electric. his eyes flick to the last line, and then to you. you’re already walking away, over your shoulder, you toss him a wink. and he nearly chokes on air.
“why would you add that last part?” he hisses, catching up, voice low and wrecked. his eyes are blown wide, desperate, like you’ve lit a fuse inside him, “i just want to fuck you so bad you won’t be able to walk on stage.”
you burst out laughing, smacking his chest, “focus, romeo,” you press a kiss to his cheek and he groans like he’s being tortured, yet his mouth curves upwards into a smile anyway.
and somehow, he makes it through the show — when the lights go up and the crowd goes quiet, you step into juliet’s shoes like you were born to wear them. haechan’s romeo is every bit as dramatic and devastating and alive as he should be. the balcony scene is breathtaking. the fights are insane. the kiss before he dies draws a gasp from the crowd. by the time the final scene ends, with you sobbing over him, your voice cracking on your last words, there’s a pause…then thunderous applause, the crowd roared, standing ovation, flowers tossed on stage, some people are crying. mr. doyoung is definitely part of some people.
but as soon as the curtain closes. haechan is dragging you by the hand through the backstage chaos, ignoring the cheers, the calls, the cast photo attempts.
his grip is firm, focused and needy. you barely have time to ask where you’re going before he yanks open the door to the rehearsal room in the back and pulls you in. the door slams shut. it’s just the two of you. again. in the same, tiny, dusty room where everything shifted.
and his mouth is already on yours, “i can’t believe you wrote that in the letter,” he groans into your mouth, lifting you like it’s muscle memory, “you’re evil. you knew what you were doing.”
you gasp between kisses, clinging to his shoulder, “i don’t know what you mean,” you say innocently.
he rolls his eyes, “i’ve been hard since act i,” he kisses you like he’s starved, like the show was one long tease, every kiss on stage edging him on, every touch of juliet’s hand killing him and now he finally gets to be rewarded.
he spins and sets you down, not on the chair, not on the table — on his thigh. you blink and he grins, cocky and hungry and impossibly hot in the dim light, “you never rode this one,” he murmurs, low and sinful, hands sliding up your thighs under the skirts of juliet’s gown, “thought we’d fix that.”
the breath catches in your throat. his thigh is solid beneath you, strong and flexing, already pressed perfectly against where you need him the most. the second you move, just a little, the pressure makes your whole body jolt. and he feels it.
“fuck,” he hisses, watching you closely, an amused smirk on his lips, hands gripping your hip, “you are so into this.”
you glare at him, but your hips twitch forward again anyway. the friction is delicious. the fabric of your panties drag just right. his thigh tenses beneath you on purpose.
“you gonna come for me like this, princess?,” he whispers, lips brushing your jaw, “gonna mess up your pretty little costume riding my thigh like a desperate girl?,” you gasp, gripping his shoulders for balance, body rocking on instinct now, chasing that pressure, that heat, that release.
“f-feels so good hyuckie,” you moan as he watches, transfixed, pupils blown out, jaw tight, chest rising with every shaky breath you take.
“i could watch you forever,” he groans, “no one else ever gets to see you like this, you know that, right?”
you nod helplessly. completely lost in the pressure that was building in your stomach. and when you finally come, sudden and hot and hard, he groans at the way your whole body tenses, how your thighs shake, how your lips part in a silent moan right against his mouth, your eyes shut.
you collapse against him, but he’s not done, “think you can take me now?”, he asks, voice thick with lust, already untying the back of your costume. you look up at him, dazed, hair a mess, breath shallow and nod like there’s nothing else in the world.
he kisses you again, already sliding the skirt up your hips, making you his all over again.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: hyuck x princess coded -> video one, video two, video three, video four
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an: HAPPY DONGHYUCK DAY! 🧸🌻 this is one of my gifts for you all today (you’re still getting a birthday blurb, wink wink) i really wanted to finish this in time for haechan day and i can’t believe i actually did. but holy shit guys! we’re halfway done with this series i did not expect to get this far if im being completely honest. thank you all so much for all the love, you don’t know how happy and excited you all make me. i hope you loved haechan and princess too! i think this couple was the most fun to write and i also think they finally beat jaemin x angel as my favorite confession scene so far hehe (don’t tell jaemin!)… as always, thank you for reading! <3
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