You and Commodus grew up together, your father a soldier and his an emperor. But when you are taken as a prisoner of war and suspected dead, nobody expects you to return as a slave, and a gladiator. When Commodus sees you in the arena alive and well, it sparks something inside him unlike what he's felt before, and leads him on a journey of desire, fear, pain and love.
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That night, you toss and turn. You can hardly sleep, your mind whirling with thoughts of Commodus, Maximus, and your fight tomorrow. Now that the adrenaline has worn off, you feel terrible about your fight with Commodus. Even though you know you should be resting, you decide to get up and go look for him.
You assume he's in his quarters sleeping, and so you make your way to his rooms. The palace is creepy at night, the torches cast shuddery shadows and every statue seems to watch you. You keep your arm firmly wrapped around your bandaged stomach, as if to protect yourself.
When you have to climb a flight of stairs, your stitches pull and you have to stop to catch your breath. You push through the pain and try to ignore the doubts that circle your mind like carrion, waiting for you to fall.
When you reach Commodus’ door, you debate knocking. You assume he's sleeping, so you let yourself in. To your surprise, though, Commodus is sitting at his desk. You walk towards him, but he almost doesn't seem aware that you're there. Instead, he's facing the full moon which bleeds white light into the dark room. He is bathed in the eerie glow, and he is so still you can’t even see him breathe.
“Commodus?” you whisper, coming to stand beside him. He flinches, not realizing you were there.
“Oh,” he gasps. “It’s you. What are you doing here?” He's breathing heavily, trying to regain his composure.
“It felt wrong to leave things the way we did,” you admit. “I wanted to make sure you're alright.”
“Thank you,” he whispers. He is so quiet, a stark contrast to his paranoid shouts mere hours ago.
“Commodus, it was wrong of me to call you weak,” you're starting to ramble. “I just get so worried, I don't want to see you hurt. So I start to think that if I can do everything for you, then maybe you'll be safe. But I've just pushed and angered you, and I don't want the last words I've spoken to you to be with anger because now–”
“What are you trying to say?” Commodus cuts you off. He leans forward against his desk, all his focus on you.
“I'm trying to say that I love you,” you whisper, tears in your eyes. “And I don't want to lose you.”
“You love me?” Commodus’ voice breaks, and his eyes are glassy with tears. You nod.
“I love you.” He whispers, almost inaudible.
He stands slowly, walking towards you. His expression is unreadable, and for a moment you think he's going to scream. He stands before you, his breath hitching and emotion in his eyes. Then, he falls into your arms.
You wrap each other in a powerful hug. You cling to each other, your breath shuddering and hot tears running down your face. Your heart aches, but not with pain. It aches with completion, with hope. You really have found your way home.
You sit side by side on the marble floor, the moonlight kissing your skin and turning your teardrops to diamond. Commodus looks godlike in this light, his eyes almost silver. Between gasping breaths and laughter you kiss him; his face, his lips, his eyelids. You feel each scar and love it beneath your lips.
Time passes in a moonlight haze as you enjoy each other's presence, the feeling of complete devotion warming your whole body. Commodus’ skin is soft beneath your touch, and when he threads his fingers through your hair and pulls you think you've found heaven.
As the dreamlike moonlight fades and the sun begins to rise, reality creeps its way back into your bones. Your fight with Maximus is just a few hours away. No matter the outcome, by the end of today your future will be decided.
“Commodus,” you whisper. You're still on the floor, although it seems he's fallen asleep on your chest. You nudge him and he stirs slowly.
“Are you alright?” He asks sleepily. You nod, and brush his hair back from his forehead.
“I saw Macrinus last night,” you confess. “I'm to fight Maximus today. He promised me my freedom if I win.”
He sighs, and moves so you two can sit side-by-side. Your backs rest against the windowsill, the morning sunlight spilling over your shoulders. For long moments he is silent, fidgeting with the string of your necklace.
“Do you really think you can win?” He asks.
“I don't know,” you answer honestly. “It's up to fate now.”
“Your faith in fate is unusual,” he says, fear in his voice. “I don't want to lose you again.”
“Fate brought me back to you before,” you say, grabbing his hand. “She will bring us back again.”
He holds your cheek and kisses you tenderly, his love colored with everything he can't say.
Your armor is heavy as Commodus helps strap you in. You've bandaged your stomach wound thickly, although it still aches with every breath. As you take up your sword, you stretch and adjust everything into place. No matter the outcome, this will be the last time you wear a gladiator's skin.
You give Commodus one last kiss before you step out into the arena. Commodus has requested to watch the game from inside the arena, surrounded by armed guards. You worry for his safety, but are glad to have his presence.
When you see Maximus face-to-face, some of your nerves lessen. He's not any taller than you, not absurdly muscular. You bow to one another, meeting the fight as equals. You imagine that under better circumstances, you would like Maximus.
As soon as the fighting begins, though, you become scared. Your wound is unhealed, freshly stitched, and it slows you down. You parry a blow, keeping him away and managing to land a blow on his arm. Briefly it seems like you might have the upper hand, but then Maximus’ foot slams into your stomach and you double over, pain sparking up your spine.
You sweep his legs out from under him, and the two of you roll across the sand. Your body is weak, your injury betraying you. Metal clashes against metal as you keep his sword away from you, but you're finding it difficult to breathe. You wheeze, and when his knee bashes your stomach, your arms buckle.
Your eyes flash to Commodus, and you try to whisper something to him. Maybe an apology, maybe a confession of love, maybe a prayer. Whatever you're going to say dies on your lips as Maximus’ sword crunches through your breastplate and into your chest. Pain flashes for a moment, and then is gone.
You're detached from your body, pulled out of the dying flesh. Your vision is blurry and you can't hear, but you still feel Commodus' scream deep in your soul. He pushes past the guards and stumbles to your body, taking your face in his hands.
He is weeping, picking up your sword and rushing at Maximus. You try to tell him to stop, try to pull him back and calm his rash decisions. He can't hear you, though, and begins to fight Maximus with feverish rage.
Swords clash and screams fly, Commodus shouting curses from heaven and hell in a poisoned vengeance. Commodus slashes again and again and again, tears streaming down his face.
Maximus’ sword slashes across Commodus’ neck, and he stumbles back. You try to scream but can't, the noise absorbed by the void surrounding you. His body falls onto yours, and you try to go to him. You look frantically for a way to save him, but the life has already left his eyes.
It seems to take ages, time moving so slowly in the lonely void you've been left in. Your bodies are moved, carried to a room you've never seen. Your armor is removed, and your stomach churns at the gaping wound left in your chest.
The two bodies are laid side by side, dressed and cleaned. Commodus looks so wrong, so unanimated and, well, dead. You try to remember a time when he was happy, alive, but all you can think of is the present.
You and Commodus are carried to a cemetery, and you're worried that they're going to separate you. The last thing you have of him now is his body, and you don't want to lose him even in death.
Instead, you're both laid into a large tomb. Your hands are bound together with the necklace he gave you, almost like you're holding hands. As the soil is laid upon your bodies, your vision begins to darken. You can't fight it, submitting to the darkness that takes over your soul.
Darkness is not the end.
Light comes back into your vision, and when you regain your senses completely, you see you're in a green field. You look to your right and see Commodus, dressed in white and free of blood. You wrap each other in a powerful hug, and you finally feel a sense of peace.
You could not lose Commodus, no matter what. Your souls have always been entwined, since the moment you first met. Except now, you are far from Rome, far from war, and far from the pain of life.
“You didn't lose me,” you whisper. Commodus kisses you, full of love and hope. You're together, you're safe, forever. He holds your face, your foreheads touching, and you can see the light in his eyes. You know you'll get to cherish that forever.
“Now we are free.”
a/n: I hope you liked this!! I had a lot of fun writing it, I always love exploring the dynamic with Commodus. Requests are open, and you can find me on ao3 @ Homo_Sexy
I would like to come to the defense of Brother Bear! Kenai's quote about his story being about a monster is something that still sticks with me, years after I last saw the movie. It was haunting as a child, it's still haunting now as an adult. I think it deserves a fighting chance!
Brother Bear is a very emotional movie, but that scene in particular broke my heart as a kid! Kenai's earnestness and honesty in the face of his actions, and Koda's reaction to the news, it's all very heart-wrenching. Kenai knows he has done wrong, and he regrets it, and he's owning up to it despite the consequences. It's brave, and it's right, and it still makes me want to cry all these years later. Plus, the quote itself is just a banger!!
Emperor's New Groove is fun, and has good quotes, but I feel like Brother Bear deserves to bring this one home with its emotional resonance.
Time is short, vote here: Brother Bear v The Emperor's New Groove
