#joel egbert

[plutosforks]

Happy (late) 4/13

[ask-offbeatstuck]

Four young friends stand on your dash!

Welcome to OFFBEATSTUCK!!

If you'd like to start at the beginning of our journey, head on over here to meet the young man in the fedora!

Before you interact, >look at our rules and guidelines: You can also check out our StrawPage to learn about what this even is,

[ask-offbeatstuck]

>sneak past your pop and head upstairs:

Before you can even get your footing, just behind the couch you're bonked rather unceremoniously on the head,

==>

by a familiar perpetrator,

==>

it seems he wants to... watch a film with you.

STRIFE!

==>

[ask-offbeatstuck]

put a fedora on a harlequin, itll be funny

That sounds like a wonderful idea! and it's something you can say you've prepared for, whoever could turn down having two hats? certainly not a silly little harlequin.

You really quite enjoy this.

[ask-offbeatstuck]

>Check your mail, Boy

(a note before we start; I (pluto) have accidentally deleted the wonderful ask that inspired this post :( im soso sorry. whoever asked Joel to check his mailbox, this is dedicated to you!)

Check the mail? Oh, but you can't do that quite yet! You promised your dear friend you'd pester CA, and you definitely plan to.

-- tobbaccoApprentice [TA] began pestering carnivorousArmature [CA] --

TA: HELLO! CA: helo TA: HOW ARE YOU ON THIS LOVELY DAY? CA: great TA: WONDERFUL! HAVE YOU RECIEVED YOUR COPY OF THE GAME YET? CA: i think my bro has it CA: should i strife him to retrieve it TA: OH! TA: IM NOT SURE, I HEARD THROUGH A MUTUAL FRIEND OF OURS THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE TUSSLED WITH HIM TODAY.. TA: WOULDN'T IT BE BEST TO SIMPLY ASK? CA: no TA: WHY NOT? CA: dont wan to talk. CA: wanna strife TA: YOU KNOW, I MUST CONFESS I AM SOMEWHAT CONCERNED FOR YOUR BROTHERS HEALTH. TA: BEING BEAT UP AS CONSISTENTLY AS HE IS MUST TAKE A TOLL ON HIS PHYSICAL FORM. CA: sfine CA: makes em a better man TA: ...ALRIGHT. I SHALL BELIEVE YOU FOR NOW. TA: IN ANY CASE, RETRIEVING THE GAME IS PROBABLY THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION FOR THE MOMENT. TA: I DO BELIEVE THE MAILMAN HAS JUST ARRIVED AFTER ALL. CA: you wanna play wit me? TA: THAT WOULD BE LOVELY! I CAN HELP GET YOU INTO THE GAME! CA: vcool TA: OH! TA: BEFORE YOU LEAVE, I MUST ASK SOMETHING. CA: yea? TA: DO YOU BELIEVE THE MOVIES MY FATHER WATCHES ARE WELL MADE? I DONT HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE IN THE FIELD MYSELF, SO I THOUGHT IT PERTINENT TO ASK. CA: those nic cage uns? CA: fuck no CA: shit movies. TA: I SEE. CA: my bro says they suck. TA: ALRIGHTY THEN. THANK YOU FOR THE ANSWER. CA: cours TA: I MUST BE GOING NOW, I SEE THE RED FLIPPY THING ON THE MAILBOX IS UP! CA: ill go find the copie too TA: UNTIL NEXT TIME! -- tobbaccoApprentice [TA] ceased pestering carnivorousArmature [CA] --

>Sneak past your dad and check the mail:

After trotting down the stairs you manage to sneak yourself past your FATHER, who is watching one of his films of... questionable quality, surrounded by boxes of MULTICOLOURED SWEET TREATS known commonly as GUSHERS. He promised you months ago that he'd quit...

== > :

After sneaking past, you open the front door of your- Oh my goodness!

==> :

THE RED FLAPPY THING! (you can't seem to remember its technical name at the moment) ITS UP!

>Grab the mail and go:

[ask-offbeatstuck]

>The young gentleman in the fedora:

A well-dressed young fellow stands in his NEAT AND TIDY bedroom. What ever could the name of this young man be?

>ENTER NAME:

[ask-offbeatstuck]

can we get hints about the kids classpecting?

alright! here, have an incredibly vague riddle thing i made in like five minutes! it should help you figure out some things, but i kept it pretty unclear on who was who and what was what. all for story integrity, you understand.

ARE YOU SPOILING SHIT AGAIN YOU FUCK???

no, idiot. i'm answering an ask! and i'll have you know i was as unclear as possible! you never let me have any fun….

[ask-offbeatstuck]

Raye when are you planning to confess to Joel? ✧⁠\⁠(⁠>⁠o⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧

Hmmmmm, you aren't sure..

While you very much want to, it's all a matter of waiting for the right time! You can't just confess your love on any old day, no no no…. it needs to be special.

You think you'll save it for when you finally meet in person! (whenever that is...) You'll take his hands, look into his eyes, and profess your undying love!!! And then he'll confess that he's loved you forever and ever…..

at least, you hope!