Can’t Get Rid Of Me (Even If You Tried)
synopsis: you’re a guardian angel, and you’ve been assigned to help the man who draws out summoning circles for fun. based on this request.
warnings: slight swearing
dividers by: @/cafekitsune and @/toxisyddy
a/n: while reader is technically a ‘Guardian Angel’, which is commonly associated with Christianity, i tried to keep it as open as possible for all readers by using nonspecific terms. this fic is also not accurate to how Christian Guardian Angels are believed to act.
main masterlist dc masterlist
being a guardian angel isn’t too difficult. you completed your training with mostly ease. you learned how to offer moral support and guidance, how to deliver messages to the higher-ups, and how to guide souls to a proper death.
well, maybe you weren’t the best. you often dropped the scrolls you were meant to deliver, and sometimes got verbal instructions mixed up. You stumbled in the air while your classmates remained perfectly poised.
so, when the time came for you to be assigned to a human, you were nervous, but trying your best to be a model angel.
until, you heard two words that made your smile drop and your wings ruffle.
John Constantine.
you knew the name. every angel your age spoke it in whispers and grimaces and hopes to not be assigned to him. a troublemaker, a rogue, and just a hard one.
this is a man who summons demon simply because he’s bored and wants something to complain to before damning them back to hell. he laughs at ouiji boards, not because he doesn’t believe, but because he claims he knows “far more efficient ways to contact hellspits.”
from the moment he came out of his mothers womb, not crying like the other babies and eyes already open, he’s never been the perfect role model. he liked disobeying his father when he was a child, he liked bossing around his friend Billy, he liked stealing cigarettes from his father to impress Aisha.
he opened up a gateway to hell before he hit puberty, for crying out loud. all just to show off to his friends.
in a way, he’s one of the people who need a guardian angel the most. but it’s also the people that need it that will refuse help.
but for you to be assigned to him? you were sure there was a mistake. you asked the officer to double check, and sure enough, your new responsibility would be John Constantine.
so, while you can only brood for so long, you eventually stand up and dust yourself off, and prepare for your graceful descent to John Constantine.
it didn’t go as planned. of course it didn’t.
you tripped. how does a heavenly creature with wings trip? you don’t know. but you did. horribly.
John was trying to enjoy his afternoon by staying in for once. A quiet day to treat himself. He was opening the liquor cabinet when he heard it.
a crash that came from his balcony. a shout of “oh, you- great heavens!” and his first thought was ‘i didn’t accidentally summon something, did I?’. No, he didn’t think any demon would be using language such as “great heavens!”.
he stepped out to his balcony to see you, straightening yourself up while twisting around to pluck some bird feathers out of your own wings.
he blinked. “well, hello there.” he said, his accent a little stronger than normal as he tried to figure out what exactly you were. although, your pure white clothes and large wings were giving him a couple of clues.
you looked up, recognising him before straightening your halo and clearing your throat.
“Mister John Constantine,” you began, clearly starting a speech you had rehearsed many times. Perhaps you could still salvage this. “My name is (name), and from now forward, I will be accompanying you through-“
“wha?” he interrupted. “I just need to know if you’re a good one or a bad one.”
you deadpanned. “I’m your new guardian angel.” so much for a graceful and gentle introduction where you wowed him with newfound knowledge.
John just scoffed, raising his brow. “yeah, right.” he muttered sarcastically. “nobody from up there evercomes down, sweetheart.” he pointed up, gesturing to the Heavens, before pouring down. “It’s all people from down there. So either you’re a couple of months earlier to Halloween, or you’re a demon trying to trick me.”
Your jaw dropped in offence. “Excuse me.” You said, exasperated. “I’ve been sent to Earth to help guide you, Constantine, through your very dangerous and risky endeavours. It’s not a job that many angels are fighting over, but I’ve been landed with it. So, I will thank you very much to treat me with the deserved respect rather than accusing me of any demon behaviour.”
John paused for a second. He’s used to hellspawns fighting back, it’s in their nature after all. but you are a heavenspawn, and aren’t they made to be gracious and abiding?
“Well, fuck me then.” He just says lowly, realising what changes this might bring about to his life.
“First lesson,” you grumble, “will be language.”
the first person he talked to after meeting you was Zatanna. Just briefing over some previous mission. He usually skips those, but you encouraged him to go outside more during the day, which led to a small lecture about how Vitamin D is good for him. You followed over his shoulder, taking her in as John and her exchanged greetings.
“and this is (name),” he said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder to gesture to you. Zatanna just gave him a look of confused.
“Er- who?” She asked.
John looked at her like she was simple. “The flying creature? Right there? Your eyes workin’ okay, Z?”
“My eyes are working just fine, John. There’s nobody there. You sure that you’re feeling alright?”
John turned to you, his brow furrowed. You blinked at him, as if expecting him to say something before you realised.
“Ohhh,” you breathe out, “Did I forget to mention you’re the only person that can see me?”
Johns eye twitches. He just clears his throat and turns back to Zatanna. “Uh, yeah. Just, long night last night is all.”
Zatanna still looked concerned, but decided to drop it. She didn’t like to hear the details of John’s nightly outings anyway.
he questioned you heavily that evening, pacing his apartment.
“how come i was given an angel?”
“everyone gets one, at some point in their lives.” you said, picking up a cookie from an open packet left in Johnson cupboard. “most angels are with their person for a short period of time. usually when the person is in a particularly hard time in their lives.”
john still looked skeptical. he believed that you were an angel, of course, but he was still unsure of how you and his dynamic would work. “how come I can see you then?”
“well,” you mused, continuing to munch on the cookies. “you are experienced in occult magic, yes? various forms of demonology, and exorcism. you are able to sense these creatures due to your magical abilities. i suppose i fit into that category.”
john said nothing, rubbing his hands over his face while he tried to stop the incoming headache. he looked up at you, watching you chew. “are you another mouth to feed as well?”
you shake your head. “no, angels do not require sustenance from food like humans do.” you smile. “i just really enjoy these sweets that you guys make.”
he hums, “so, how long will you be with me?” he isn’t sure if he wants it to be long or short.
you shrug. “it depends on a lot of factors.”
“like?”
“like your own actions.” you reply, making john pay a little more attention. “if you decided right now to stop practising your occult magic, and simply live a normal life like any other human, i would have very little purpose here. i might be called every so often to alarm you of a stranger, but these are little situations.”
john scoffed, knowing the very idea was so far out of his reach it was laughable. you glanced up before continuing.
“however, not a lot of people expect you to do that. myself included. so, i suppose i’ll remain by your side to help you for the foreseeable future.”
he finds himself not being mad about it. and then he’s mad at the fact that he wasn’t mad about it.
john agrees that the funniest interaction was with Bruce Wayne.
you’d been following him for three weeks now, and have developed somewhat of a routine. john wouldn’t describe his life as one that follows a routine, but the dynamic between you two doesn’t really change.
now, he was called to the Batcave to examine some object Tim had found to make sure it wasn’t dangerous.
a quick mission, but you decided to come alone anyway. you wanted to see more sights after all.
john was told by batman to wait in a back alley, and would be collected by the batmobile to go back to the batcave. he had to fight to keep a straight face when you started flittering around the room, examining each eccentric object batman owned. and there was a lot.
you especially loved the giant penny, perching on it for a minute or two while patting it.
damian, never taking his eyes off john, kept glancing around the room after seeing that his eyes kept flickering up. but he couldn’t figure out what exactly john was looking at. it was starting to frustrate him.
john hold the object, taking a minute to examine it and recall his knowledge in the particular area.
you, in the meantime, had placed yourself beside batman, shaking your head softly. “oh dear,” you said sombrely. “this poor man.”
john had to fight to not ask you what you meant, already seeing a teasing opportunity towards the Bat. luckily for him, you continued.
“he carries so much guilt.” oh. so maybe not something funny to tease him about.
“so much bottled up emotions.” you tapped your chin. “and feeling like he has no real friends.”
john snorted into his palm. he couldn’t help it. he tried, really.
“something amusing, constantine?” batman asked.
john glanced up, “don’t worry, old man. just laughing at you worrywarts. this is harmless. just keep it in one of your fancy shelves you have in here. it’s go great next to the giant penny.”
surprisingly, you don’t nag him. yes, you encourage him to eat healthier, get more sunlight, drink water, stop smoking and other things. but your words remain kind, and not berating.
the only time you scold him is when he summons demons or has to take a travel through Hell.
the first time he summoned a demon, needing their power for a task, you had stuck your nose in the air and shaken your head, strongly advising him against it.
and when the demon, long limbs and sharp teeth appeared, you had kept your distance. the demon, being able to see you as well, and screeched at you, pointing a finger.
you pointed right back. john thought for a second he would witness a real fight, but neither of you actually got any closer. just simply bickered behind him over his shoulders.
when he managed to trick any demon to fight for him, the demon will smirk over their shoulder at you.
“summoning little old me to fight when you already have your own angel?”
you retort, “i simply don’t sink to those levels. however, i understand the fact that you literally can’t get any lower.”
when he’s actually in Hell is far worse. you’re constantly asking him to leave, claiming it is far too dangerous for him. you stand ready at his side to shield him, all while whispering in his ear that you do not feel comfortable here.
as you get closer to john, you learn that he’s been feeling guilty his whole life.
it was his conception that dug his mothers grave, and his birth that finally killed her.
it was him trying to show off that killed Billy. it’s his fault that the sludge fell and Billy cracked his head open and drowned in mud water and sewage.
well, you argued that he didn’t purposefully try to dislodge the sludge, but john chose this as another thing you say that he doesn’t listen to.
while john would prefer to deny that you’ve had any actual help in the ‘guidance’ sense, he’s noticed that there’s been situations where he should’ve been killed or injured, but he wasn’t.
like when he stepped out onto the pavement and then he suddenly stepped back, right as a plant pot fell from the window above him.
when he was walking down the dark street late at night, and saw a man up ahead. john felt a strange urge to simply turn around and avoid the man, finding another way home. realistically, john knows he could take on any mugger in the street. but he was just tired this evening and his heart wouldn’t really be in it. he can’t explain the sudden warning feeling he got about that man.
john isn’t perfect. he’s far from, actually.
he won’t think twice about lying or cheating for his own gain. especially when it’s creatures he deems lesser than him. he’s often rude and snarky, and often toes the line of morality like it’s a game to him.
he wonders why you haven’t given up on him yet. why are you still helping him, saving him, staying by his side?
he doesn’t understand the fact it’s because you see the things that he ignores. he puts himself in front of danger without even thinking about it to prevent any magical entity to grow too powerful. one of his top priorities is the balance of magic, helping the protection of Earth and its inhabitants. Is he just saving Earth because he benefits from it? Er- perhaps.
Whenever he fixes a problem, it always causes ten more. But he tries to fix those too. You’ve seen how he doesn’t stop. It might be purely out of spite against a few people, but he doesn’t it all the same.
John isn’t used to having a constant in his life. But sure enough, from the moment he opens his eyes to the second he falls back asleep, you’re by his side.
While he’s had flings before, he never pictured himself with a partner. They’d be in far too much danger, and would end up hating him anyway. Or, he’d end up killing them accidentally before anything else.
But you? You basically go against all of that.
And maybe that’s why he’s getting so attached to you. His eyes started searching for you when you leave his sight for a few seconds. His ears perk up with he hears any ruffle of wings, and disappointment pricks at his heart if it turns out to be a bird taking flight.
But, his lips quirk up when he turns around and finds that you just lagged behind for a second, examining a mirror that you cannot see yourself in.
And he’ll walk on, hands in his pocket, and his head slightly lowered with a cigarette between his lips. Because he knows it’s inevitable that in a few seconds, you’ll be by his side again, asking him one question or another about humans.
Maybe it’s pathetic that the person he treasures the most is someone that nobody else can see or hear.
Maybe he doesn’t care. He just cares about you nowadays anyway.
