May 3
My dear friend Johnathan Harker has begun his lovely food blog as he travels through the countryside of Transylvania. Hope his journey is smooth and his business concludes swiftly!
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My dear friend Johnathan Harker has begun his lovely food blog as he travels through the countryside of Transylvania. Hope his journey is smooth and his business concludes swiftly!
Every year I watch that white boy go, with no way of warning him. No way of letting him know. Helplessly watching him devour his paprika chicken before journeying the road to his doom. Don’t go, white boy. Don’t go.
The four stages of lizard fashion according to my good friend Johnathan Harker
1. Oh no The Horror
2. He’s doing it again 🙄
3. When in Transylvania do as the vampires do
4. I wish I had a gun
Idk
The thing you need to know about Johnathan Harker is that the nuns who found him on the side of the road crazed, half starved, and ranting about bloodsucking monsters wrote on his report card that "Johnathan is a delight to have in class"
The man is telling anyone who will listen about how the devil walks the earth like a man and climbs the walls like a lizard and still never forgets to say please and thank you. Mina was absolutely right to wife him.
Johnathan getting locked in the castle: omg I think the count is going to (remembers being rude to his weird host would be bad) make me more soup tomorrow
The thing is, I like the idea of Dracula loving Mina. I love the idea of him obsessing over her, of him not just using her to hurt the men, but of wanting her specifically. But Mina can never love him. He has to be an incel. Dracula is defined by wanting what he can't have, wanting the life of others, wanting the respect he thinks he is due, wanting to be powerful as he once was, wanting the love of others. He said as much to the weed smoking girlfriends, that he could love too, but they knew that it wasn't really love. He just wants, he just wants to possess. He wants Jonathan, he wants Mina, he wants Lucy, he thinks he deserves them. But Lucy loves Arthur, Mina and Jonathan love each other and the girlfriends loved others before he took them. If you're going to make Dracula love Mina then he needs to be a foul possessive "love" that really isn't love at all. He can cross oceans of time all he wants, he'll never get Mina's love.
My genuine favorite genre of podcast is British men not having a good time
