I'm going to share a little here. I've posted this link before. I've posted this recording, and it wasn't given much attention. I found it again, and thought I would share it and give a little background.
This is the most emotional piece of music I've ever heard. To me it is. To anybody else? Most likely not. But I cry every time I hear it. Why?
This was composed two summers ago. I was a little depressed. I worked as an electrician. This was composed one summer night, after a certain incident. Well...it was started that night. It was worked on over the next month, then I left. I haven't touched it since. I guess it's finished. But now I will never know, because I lost all the material and the logic files for it when my old computer died. Since then I've used several of the themes elsewhere. The waltz became part of my first concerto, the guitar section became part of a jazz tune, and the beginning...well...the beginning is archived.
Originally, it was meant to be the overture to my work Fantasia Della Vita, but because of incidents that happened, it won't ever be. For one, the mood of the work changed over time, and this is no longer appropriate.
So what happened on that one night?
At the time, my fiancee and I were running into relationship problems. I wanted to solve them, and I think she did too, but then again, she didn't. We were having issues where it seemed like she really didn't care about me, and was very indifferent when I talked to her about it. So, one night, after we both got off work, we were going to meet at an iHop (I drove an hour to get there. She had to drive 10 minutes.) I was tired, since I got off at 1 AM. So I went to that iHop, and waited. And waited. After three hours of writing, waiting, and basically feeling sick, I got a text.
That was when our relationship ended. She broke it off with a text message.
Devastated, I went back home at 4:30 that morning, and the bright screen in my room welcomed me. I sometimes forgot to close Logic and it was still open when I got home. So I started to work on this, using some sketches I had already done for the project. I worked on it when I could over the next month, and eventually just stopped. I don't know why. But I just stopped.
This piece reminds me of that summer. It's the most emotional work I've ever written. It's...hope. But it's also deep sorrow, the best I could express at the time. My compositional technique is better now. I wonder what I would have done with my technique now? It doesn't matter. So, I have posted this work once again, to share it with you.
This piece also doesn't deteriorate to me like some of the others do. It's just as beautiful to me as it was back then. It reminds me...that maybe I'm not a bad composer. It is my music of hope in many ways.