Edge Of Glory || C.J
Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst
Words: Idk but from the top of my head I’d bet on 3126 words
Pieces of lyrics from the song are written in bold
⚠ drug abuse, mentions of physical/psychological abuse (not from the idol), mentions of death and suicide, dystopian!au ⚠
Warning: There are disturbing/ scenes described. Read at your own risk.
ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ x ʟᴀᴅʏ ɢᴀɢᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ || ᴘ4
ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴍᴠ
A worldwide pandemic took all nations by surprise, one worse than any century had ever experienced, one that all safety precautions, medicine and technology couldn’t fight. It came down onto the whole world like a train and the population decreased greatly, along with all of the resources.
Hazmats became the trending fashion and hospitals became the new hotels. Everything was at max capacity, and the bodies of deceased people piled up on the streets. Pale corpses that looked like they had been drained of all of their blood laid against the walls, on top of each other, or sprawled on the road. It was every man for themselves, and chaos dominated.
You were a little relieved, however. Your parents wouldn’t allow you to leave the house for safety, but every time you looked out of the window every deceased person seemed to be of age, more specifically, a mature adult. Mostly people from their thirties on.
Maybe it didn’t affect younger people? Maybe their immune system was good enough to fight the disease?
You had many doubts, but not enough answers. No one had answers, and suddenly everyone had a God. When nurses and doctors fled, when the news disappeared and it all stopped being transmitted, everyone started praying, ironically.
Your parents were jittery and nervous all the time, but that was a normal reaction, they had seen and experienced the outside world. You felt safe in their presence, although seeing them come in the house in the yellow suits kind of scared you.
Months were spent in this routine, and all seemed normal (within the limits). One day, however, you were woken up by loud banging on the front door. You immediately stood up from bed, a little dizzy from the sudden movement, and wobbled over to your door. You pressed your ear against the wooden door to hear whatever went on downstairs. You had never gotten visitors…
You heard the downstairs door creak open and a male, harsh, demanding voice spoke.
“Any kids in?” He simply asked.
“N-no, Sir. We’ve never been able to have kids.”
You frowned at the shaky voice. They did have a kid though...
The nervousness in your mom’s voice, the violent man’s tone, and the lie immediately raised a red flag for you. You became uncertain and shaky. Who was he!?
You prepared for the worst. You shoved a couple things in a backpack, the absolute necessary, and opened your bedroom’s window as quietly as possible. You looked down at the previously green grass outside. It was far. If you had to jump you were gonna hurt yourself, so you just prayed that they’d leave.
“Surely you wouldn’t mind us looking around then?”
Your eyes widened, and you immediately took this as your cue. You put on the black gas mask your parents had given you in case of emergency and sat by the window pane.
“What? B-but I told you we don’t have-”
“Ma’am please step off or you’ll be taken.” He rudely interrupted your mother.
You heard heavy footsteps echo throughout the house, and without a second thought jumped off. You pursed your lips together to prevent the scream from escaping past your lips as you landed on your side, on top of a couple of rocks.
You got up as quickly as you fell down and ran. You ran as fast as you could, always holding your aching side.
You had no idea where you were wandering, you had no idea what was safe or not, and you had no idea what was happening, but you ran anyways.
It had been four days. You had seen some people running around and looting stores, you had seen some people in suits patrolling, and you had seen huge tanks taking over the city. You always felt the floor shake when one of them approached, so it was easy to hide. You wondered what they were for, but then again your imagination had run short.
You hadn’t found a place you deemed safe yet. You’d sleep in hidden street corners and stolen from beaten-up shops to survive, but you were becoming tired and desperate. Hope died very quickly in a place like that, and every morning it was hard not to give up.
After the longest days of your life, you decided to risk it. You went into the only part in town you hadn’t scavaged. It was previously known for illegal activity and for being generally very shady. Strangely, it was the most familiar part of town. It was dark, cold and scary, just like before.
You walked warily, looking the torn-apart buildings 'from head to toe’. Most of them were locked up, or too damaged to even enter, but a particular building caught your attention. The windows were sealed, but the door had a chain that had been broken. You approached it and carefully removed the chain. The metal door creaked against the floor and made an ugly noise. You closed it just as slowly and carefully inspected the bottom floor with the poor flashlight you had found in a hardware store.
It was clean.
You moved upwards, and all of the floors were clear of corpses. A sense happiness and relief washed over you, as you might had just found a place to stick around in.
As you reached the floor just below the rooftop, your eyes glistened and your face lit up.
A mattress with a couple of blankets laid against the wall. There were unopened cans of food organized near the window, that gave you a perfect view of the safe and unsafe areas. As you were about to inspect the food and the expire date on them, someone spoke behind you.
“Hello?”
You jumped at the voice. You spun around quickly and held the turned-off flashlight close to your chest. Your eyes were widened and you were frozen in place. The male in front of you, on the other hand, was relaxed yet confused.
He had a long dark fringe covering his eyes, and his skin was very pale.
“W-who are you?” You asked, trying your best not to stutter out the whole sentence.
The man looked at you as if you were stupid.
“I’m the person living here?... The owner of this five-star suite, actually.”
Your face fell a little at his statement and he chuckled.
“What? Did you think you had hit the jackpot and just found a perfect place waiting for you?”
You averted your gaze and blushed slightly in embarrassment at how stupid your thoughts sounded when said out loud. Neither of you said anything. You could immediately tell that there was a big contrast between your personalities: while you stood there, stiff and nervous, he was relaxed and staring at you with a mocking glare. You were a little confused as to why the male wasn’t freaking out over a random person walking in where he lived and trying to claim it. It was suspicious…
The man looked at the mattress on the floor, then at the cans.
“Wanna share?”
You were taken aback by the question. Why would he willingly share what he had? Why would he willingly spare half of the very scarce resources he possessed?
“Why?” You quietly asked.
The man understood your confusion, most people would shoo others away and refuse to even let them come close to whatever they had gathered.
He walked over to the mattress and sat down with a groan. The stranger took a very poorly joint up to his mouth and took a hit, then puffing out the smoke and creating a small cloud between the two of you. He opened his mouth to say something but was immediately cut off.
“We’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you’re getting high!?”
It wasn’t like you to stress over something so little, but the near-death experiences, the fear and all the running away had transformed you into a shell of your former self.
“It’s… It’s not an apocalypse.”
You furrowed your brows and cocked your head. How would he know what all this was anyway?
“Well it’s kinda- Can you fucking sit down or something you’re stressing me out, standing there holding that flashlight like I’m gonna try to murder you.”
The statement stole a chuckle out of you and you sat down on the floor in front of him.
“To put it shortly, this pandemic is a war gone wrong.”
There was a long silence, as he let you process the tiny bit of the puzzle he had just told you. It was understandable that you didn’t know what was going on, no one really did know but the ones that had been exposed to the government’s horrors.
“This… virus. It wasn’t someone’s carelessness or a lab security breach, it was a biological war that went to shit. A country unbeknownst to everyone apparently sent out a virus to wipe out Japan and Korea, it was speculated inside the borders that it was because of the lucrative rise and some countries were losing their economic powers over a lot of major cities. But it spiraled out of control and everyone is slowly dying. It’s much worse than anything anyone had ever seen, and in a panic, the government started doing what they call ‘recruitment of the younger generation’. Don’t let the name fool you, we were taken against our will…”
“We? You were there?”
Jongho sighed, his voice dropped considerably and suddenly the weed tasted odd. He threw away the joint and rested his head against the wall. Guilt and shame filled his body, and he wasn’t able to look you in the eye as he explained what went on in the place he had been confined in.
“I was… taken. From the house I was in. They take only young people who are healthy and capable. No disabilities inside those walls, only the ones they deem good enough to procreate and rebuild our country. We… We are forced to work, they do tests on us, they treat us like lab rats and the boys… The boys are forced to impregnate girls.” His voice cracked at that, clearly hitting a deep scar. His chest began to rise and fall quickly.
You became suddenly sad and worried for the stranger. Your face contorted in a pitiful look and you approached him, patting his thigh for him to know he had your support.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell any more…”
The male glanced at the joint he had thrown away and regretted doing so. He really wished he had something that made the conversation easier.
“No, the more people know, the easier it will be to destroy this whole shit. Letting the world die is better than what they’re doing to us. I was… forced to make girls pregnant. I- I don’t even know their names. I don’t even know who they are, they push you into a room and they watch you, to make sure you do things right. When people refuse to do so, there’s a punishment. But I was always too scared of it so I just followed the rules. In a couple of months I’ll have… I’ll have a children in there. A son, who knows maybe a daughter… And they’ll be forced to do exactly what I ran away from. Fuck I’m a monster!”
The male hit his head against the wall, hard. His eyes were tightly shut (certainly not hurt from the bang against the wall, but from something much deeper) and tears threatened to fall.
The psychological side clearly was much worse than any physical work they were forced to do.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. You didn’t do that because you wanted to, right? You did it because you were forced. If those kids are as smart as you surely they’ll get out too.”
He scoffed and turned his head to look at you.
“I got out because I was lucky. I was done with life, I didn’t want to be there anymore. But because the suicide rate was crazy high inside those walls everyone was always watching. I knew a guy though, he managed to pass around drugs and my plan was to overdose… But when the time came I always pussied out. As time went by and I kept consuming I became thinner, paler, weaker… I looked like I was about to die and they didn’t understand why, but at some point they stopped wanting me there, they deemed I was unfit. They cut off my food and water, they left me to die in a room. I was lucky because I passed out. They thought I was dead and threw me over the border. I woke up in a pile of dead bodies, bathing in blood, dirt, puke, and God knows what else. I could barely move, but I dragged myself out of the corpses and tried to survive the best I could.”
You couldn’t believe your ears. You wanted to say something, but what was there to be said? ‘It’s going to be okay’? You both knew it was a lie… There was nothing to be said and all you could do was greet his lengthy life-story of the past couple months with silence.
“That’s why I smoke weed. Y’know… kinda takes me out and makes me forget everything’s gone to shit, drowns out the worst in my head.”
You nodded, a little uncomfortable yet understanding his position.
Luckily, Jongho who had been through Hell and come back, was great at shooing away the awkwardness.
“Now that you know about my kids, I’m Jongho by the way.”
“I-I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, a little shocked at the way he was fine with joking about it.
“Well Y/N, buckle up. We’re in a warzone now, it’s the end of the world. There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone.”
You and Jongho sat at the top of the building. The sun was going down and you sat on his lap. His arms were around your body, holding your hands as he tried to teach you how to properly roll the thin paper.
“Y/N! We don’t have infinite weed! Stop messing this up!”
“I- Are you joking, Jongho!? You pushed this mess onto my hands because you wanted to have a reason to have me on your lap!”
You stood up (faking anger toward him) and walked up to the edge of the building, dancing and prancing around.
Jongho laughed at your cuteness and threw away the very much ruined romantic joint he tried to do with you. He walked over to you and placed his hands on your hips.
“I won’t get high tonight but at least I was happy.”
You looked at him, surprised at the sweet comment. The sunlight gave his skin a golden tone and the slight wind blew his hair back. He smiled at the big eyes you were giving him, and chuckled upon realizing how little it had taken to make you speechless.
“What?” He asked, as you wouldn’t stop staring.
You giggled and placed your hands on his biceps, subconsciously playing with them.
“Nothing it’s just… I didn’t know you could be cute.”
Jongho faked a shocked expression, never breaking eye contact.
“Excuse me! I can be adorable!”
You scoffed and slapped his chest.
“You’ve been cute to me like, two times.”
“Two?” He asked, not remembering what the first had been.
Your eyes drifted away and you blushed slightly.
“Well, you let me stay with you… That was really sweet, thank you.”
Jongho lifted your chin with his index finger, making you look at him.
“And I’m glad I did.”
There was a small, comfortable silence before you spoke.
“Why is that?”
You were eager for the answer. Jongho was unpredictable, you never knew what to expect of him, so you looked deep into his eyes as you awaited a response.
Jongho looked away, before looking back at you and pressing his lips against yours, for a kiss that lasted no longer than a second.
“Because I like you.”
It was incredulous. You expected him to say that, but it was so… unexpected. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off as per usual.
“And I know, I know it’s been like two weeks, but it’s hard not to fall for someone like you once you spend every second of every day with them.”
You blushed slightly and hit his chest.
“Plus, you’re one of the most beautiful women out there.” He said as he caressed your cheek lovingly.
“Jongho, who knew you could be so sweet…”
“I know, right? But then again, everyone is dying and there’s like, a dozen women out there so you don’t have much competition.”
You two laughed, and before you could hit him, Jongho ran away and ran downstairs. Once you found him, you tackled him onto the mattress, but of course he won over you, and began tickling you all over. He’d only stop when you begged and were almost crying.
You looked into each other’s eyes. The dim light coming from the windows setting a lewd mood. Once you had regained your breath, you grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. The kiss lasted a little longer than the previous one, slightly losing its innocence.
You had never gone beyond kissing with anybody, so you were surprised at yourself when you deepened the kiss and rolled your hips against his, you didn’t hate it however. You wanted to continue. The world was ending and you were making out with the hottest man you’d ever been with on a mattress, so if there was a perfect timing, that was it.
You moaned onto the kiss, signaling that you wanted more, but Jongho pulled away rapidly and looked away, a little embarrassed.
“Jongho? Did I do something wrong I-I’m sorry I had never done that before and I-”
“You were fine Y/N, don’t worry… It’s just that. Those things I did… Those girls, it wasn’t that long ago. I don’t think I’m comfortable, I’m sorry, love.”
You felt bad for making him feel like he had to apologize for his feelings. You started to panic, but you had to calm yourself down in order to make Jongho feel comfortable.
You placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.
“It’s okay Jongho, I don’t mind waiting. I’ll wait for you a million years, even when we’re both old and looking like raisins, I promise I’ll still want you.”
The male giggled, showing the gummy smile you loved oh so much, and buried his face in the crook of your neck.
“I got so lucky… You’re all I need.”
You woke up with Jongho shaking you and calling for your name. You immediately shot awake and sat on the mattress you called a bed.
Your boyfriend threw his heavy mask onto a corner, grabbed both of your cheeks and kissed you passionately. His eyes were teary and puffy. His whole face was red and his coal-coloured hair was stuck to his forehead. You furrowed at the way his hands were shaking as he held you.
“Jongho?” You asked, a little nervous.
“Yes, darling?” He questioned.
His voice was as shaky as his hands, and anxiety started building up in the pit of his stomach.
“What’s wrong?”
His jittery eyes took in all of your features before smiling nervously.
“Nothing baby!”
He kissed your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, and finished up with a long kiss on your lips.
Suddenly, the ground shook. Once, twice… Jongho tried to block the window with his broad back, but you could still see the shiny, shooting star-like object coming down from the sky and colliding with the ground. A loud sound echoed in the air and the ground shook once more before you saw a mushroom-like explosion in the distance.
You couldn’t hold back the tears as panic immediately enveloped you.
“J-Jongho what- what’s going on!?” You asked, your voice rising for the first time in months.
Your boyfriend looked at you with teary eyes and held your face in a way that you couldn’t look at the window.
“Nothing, doll. Everything is fine, we’re gonna be okay.”
Jongho hugged you tightly. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and held him as close as possible, as your brain put two and two together.
The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes.
“I love you.” He whispered.
And, before you could reply, he pressed his lips to yours, in what you both knew to be your last kiss. So you didn’t pull away. And when the sky fell down, and when the blasting got closer to you, you still didn’t pull away.
And so when everything went black, neither of you noticed, because your eyes were still closed, and you were still holding each other as if the world wasn’t ending, and you were the only thins that mattered to each other.
Your forever wasn’t long, but as you held each other and tears streamed down your faces, you knew that it had been a good forever.
