#jorleif

[helgiafterdark]

brought lydia to court and dressed her up :)

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Jorleif: WOAH I'm pretty sure you shouldn't have a weapon at a Court meeting??

Eryn: Everything could be a weapon to me. That bread would be more deadly in my hands than my sword would be in yours.

Jorleif: That's... probably true.

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Ralof: I invented a fun game we can all play. It’s called Odahviing or Ulfric. I give you actual quotes I heard and you tell me if the Dragonborn was talking to her dragon or her husband.

Ulfric Stormcloak:

Leara Rose-blade:

Odahviing:

Galmar Stone-Fist:

Stormcloak Guard #13:

Viola Giordano, for some reason:

Calder:

Yrsarald Thrice-Pierced:

Stormcloak Guard #22:

Jorleif:

Leara Rose-blade: I don’t think I like this game.

[momowho34]

The palace of kings in windhelm has all of these serious tough people in it that wear like bear skins and teeth and shit and talk about how cool they are and then there’s just fuckin Jorleif. He doesn’t do anything, he just serves as Ulfrics bro and chills in the main hall with his normal civilian clothes. it’s fucking hilarious Jorleif is winning at life man he just chills that’s his job description

[saturniandragon]

Wuunferth the Unliving: I did not kill Susanna the Wicked. Dragonborn: Sus. Jorleif: Sus. Windhelm Guard: Sus. Wuunferth the Unliving was not an Impostor. 1 Impostor remains.

[heljarchens]

Canon: Ulfric Stormcloak discusses strategy with his steward despite the latter’s lack of military knowledge (or perhaps because of said lack), since he values Jorleif’s common sense and practicality.

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Ulfric: Alright, who broke it. I'm not mad. I just want to know. Ralof: ...I did! I broke th- Ulfric: No. No you didn't. Yrsarald? Yrsarald Thrice-Pierced: Don't look at me. Look at Vignar. Vignar Gray-Mane: What? I didn't break it. Yrsarald: Then how'd you even know it was broken? Vignar: Because it's right in front of us, and it's broken. Yrsarald: Suspicious. Vignar: No, it's not! Balfhe Hard-Heart: If it matters, probably not, but Jorleif was the last person to- Jorleif: LIAR I was nowhere near it! Balfhe Hard-Heart: Oh, really, then what were you doing just now? Jorleif: My JOB as Ulfric's Steward- Ralof: Okay okay let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay to have it fixed, Ulfric- Ulfric: NO. Who broke it?! Vignar: ...Ulfric. Eryn's been awfully quiet. Eryn: REALLY?! Vignar: Yeah, really- [General fighting] Ulfric, to Galmar Stone-fist: I broke it. I got angry with it, and it broke. But I predict that ten minutes from now, they'll have war paint on their faces and their swords in each other's chests. Galmar, glancing into the room: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Ulfric Stormcloak: Well, the Dragonborn and I finally did it!

Galmar Stone-Fist: *facepalm*

Jorleif: *claps*

Ralof: *surprised Pikachu face*

Ulfric: That's right . . . we kissed!