#entry1

[amirainecozy]

えええ, 今どうする？

not really sure how what to add in my tumblr, but i've figured i might post art & my jlpt, hsk progress and any art or idea/concepts i think off. i also installed a new theme in this page, and i really like it. it looks good. anyway, i might post what i can make off in a sec

i drew it just 4 minutes after my bedtime.

[garden-of-chrysalis]

``~Dahlia~``

[ENTRY: 1 || WEEK 1]

This week's topic is 'Adolescence', or more simply change! Here I have two photo collages of myself then and now.

Here you can see that as a child I: -liked wearing bright and lively clothes -wore my hair down -I'm seen performing in both photos

Now I: -often wear comfy outfits -like to keep my hair short, as it gave me a sense of myself

~.~

While searching for these pictures, I remembered the many things that had changed with me through-out the years: Like how, back then I had a somewhat confident posture (even though I was a child), I was outgoing and often approached others first. But I was also arrogant and a chronic liar who wanted attention. As a teen I've improved as much as I can on my own. I'm able to complete tasks independently and take care of myself with only little guidance. I'm not as confident as I was as a little kid, but I have a little ladder made from achievements that I am proud of, and that is something that I can be satisfied with.

[hesitatenever]

12.27.22

life can be kind of insane. what is it? no one even knows. we are meant to navigate our lives with purpose, a purpose that is individually our own in every way. it's incredible all the paths that each individual human being can feel and access. how does it come to us? dreams? thoughts? other people? where do I find my ultimate bliss. maybe I want too much. or maybe that's is a societal ideal that ones goals are out of reach. I've been on a path recently of which its pulling me to be more positive, speak more positive. I also need to tap into meditation a little bit more. my own personal prayer if you will. some people pray, some meditation, some drink. in meditation I feel like I can become one with our world, a separate being than the vessel I fill. like deep meditation can bring you to new links. its funny because my mother is a very serious christian woman, so I compare what my meditations bring me and her god. its helpful in the same ways, just different outlets. I have always been a flawed person, unable to change and better myself in the ways I feel necessary. in freedom I find peace. even if my freedom is laying in bed all day. in truth, as much as I complain and sometimes have a bad attitude about life, I actually find it that my life is good in most ways. I have a good job and people who support each other within that job. I love my mother, even if my trauma can sometimes complicate our relationship, there is nothing but love. I have two fur babies that I love beyond belief. kind of unreasonably so. but they are beautiful. all of earths creations are so beautiful. positively I feel as though I have changed in ways that allow me to see the beauty of life around me, even in the flaws and pain. someone once told me, “ if you were some kind of higher spirit and someone asked you to come to earth to experience love and forgiveness and pain and suffering, would you do it? “ and the answer is hell yes. the emotional spectrum of human beings is unmatched to anything in this world. not only are our emotions attached to deep things indebted in us for hundreds of years, but also in new things, new emotions and more sensitivity as things become so easily accessible in our modern world. as cosmetically terrible I believe technology to be as far as addiction and codependency on it, it has beauties as well. like allowing us to see inside the mind and emotion of another person. for so long it was only books and conversations that can provide a perspective of someone else's life, but now as populated and openly blunt as technology, you can really see into anyones life as they allow. I'm very much someone who enjoys divulging as much information as possible when speaking with someone. because I have an innate quality to be open even when other may find inappropriate. I like bringing that side out of others as well, being a scorpio I find it that people easily open up to me. and I'm very thankful for this. so for today remember even a small honest talk with someone might be a new perspective on life. and always show love to others and allow them to show love to you. life is beautiful especially when it can be shared and equally appreciated thru friends or close people, or a complete stranger. its a beautiful thing to be vulnerable and open to everyone, even if they don't reciprocate and maybe even try to bring negativity onto your path, it can still positively effect you to be the person who is willing to be yourself and a positive person in peoples lives. even those unwilling to be the same, they will appreciate you at some point and find themselves regretting what their negativity did to you. its not all about an eye for an eye, sometimes its about giving to others what they are incapable of giving to you. 

thx 

haiz

[woman-moment-fr]

Everyone sucks and I REALLY need to get out more

Actually being an adult is absolutely insane. Being an adult with other adults that you still don’t really know is so much worse. I think everyday I realize that despite humans being built for communities and all that, some people should just rot by themselves and some don’t deserve the touch of a woman. 

Communication is key in any healthy relationship, no matter what that may be. And I know I’m not great at starting difficult conversations or asking uncomfortable but necessary questions, but you’d think people would be honest with you when you do manage to bring something serious up, even if it is in a light hearted manner. The only thing I’ve learnt about living away from home these past few months is that people want to be right, or just don’t want to lose their chances of getting laid, even if it means emotionally fucking you over. There are always going to be men that do this. Sure, you heard a woman’s voice from his room and found underwear under his pillow, but obviously you’re stupid for thinking that he’s sleeping with other people. Obviously it’s no biggie either because it’s not like you guys are together anyway. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, but at least I don’t lie about it and then pass around diseases. But I guess that’s in the past now. I can hold a grudge though.

Housemates can be so much fun. I used to love the though of always having people to hang out with. And yet here I am; barely seeing most of them and in a weird sex situation with one. Who would’ve thought that the rule about not sleeping with housemates was like actually quite crucial to follow. 

On another note, just because skipping lectures is a thing you can do, doesn’t mean you should. I’ve become pretty much entirely nocturnal so I can either skip important shit and sleep, or go in on the verge of passing out. Sleep seems to win most day. I need to maybe actually leave the house for once. I don’t think I’ve seen sunlight in the past week. Or maybe I could just buy vitamins or something, winter is fucking me over either way.

-Ana

[wyknwrote]

aug. 8

i figured this was as good a place as any to make into my virtual diary & because i have always & will always want people to admire me for my thoughts and words it’s only a little embarrassing that this is a public page & technically people could see this though I doubt anyone will. also this is a diary & punctuation confuses me so i will not be super bothered with that. anyway. I think i might start emailing a few people from here who saw a post I made looking for penpals. I’m pretty excited about that. i even made a new email so that it has a cool username & it’s empty so i can keep the letters organized. i hope at least 1 of the 3 people works out because I’ve always wanted a penpal. kinda lame i never went to a school that made you have one like some people. but maybe it’s better i didn’t have a penpal then because looking back at some old journal entries i really wasn’t as wise sounding as i thought. 

recently i’ve been very sad. all i wanna do is cry & if i had time that’s all i would do. i cried last night. i was thinking about my dad. which is another thing i’ve been doing a lot as of late. i haven’t said it or wrote it, at least not in laymans terms, but i miss him. but i feel like saying that erases everything else i feel. like if i miss him i cant keep talking about how awful he was. or saying that him leaving was for the best. last night i sat on the toilet listening to a snippet of song on tiktok i think it’s called “saviour complex” & i thought of my dad. I thought of him coming through the front door, bags in hand, cowboy hat on. I imagined myself laying in bed & hearing the door open, getting up to meet him in the living room & giving him a hug. & replayed us hugging. sometimes it was morning, sunset, night, afternoon. sometimes it was thanksgiving or christmas. but it was like how it used to be. because then and now i remembered how he treated me and my mom and my brother. but we learned that once it was over that dwelling on it would do nothing so why do it? so we moved on and we hugged him when he came home. i miss him. 

i’m in the tub. lavender & honey bathsalts, lavender bubble bath. my hair is long again. i can put it in a pony, a bun, and i even learned how to use hair claws. I couldn’t figure it out when i was younger. it’s in a bun right now. I think after this i’m gonna watch ‘when harry met sally’ and i’ll probably cry. i’m excited for cool weather & tea & sweaters. also i think i’m gonna go on a lil vacation soon. I’m going to look at airbinbs/hotels. I’ve been working a lot. i think i deserve it. 

i love you. thank you for letting me talk about my bath. and my dad. -abbie

[mydarkmindpalace]

Poetry

I can write poems about you. For I can describe you by using only the finest and the most aesthetic form of poetry that every literature has to offer.

[themarvelstrikeforcediaries]

Entry 1, Day 189

Been playing MSF for 189 days, and I think I may be on the brink of becoming a formidable player. I am 55 shards away from unlocking Nick Fury (just have to star up those Kree Minions) and I'm kind of crushing it in the real-time arena.

My goals:

power up my villains to finish the villain campaign

my current line-up:

Ronan (46k),

Loki (41k),

Mister Sinister (35k),

Hela (27k),

Mordo (20k)

hypothetical line-up (needs power boosts):

Magneto (22k)

Juggernaut (32k)

Mister Sinister (35k)

Madelyne Pryor (14k)

Mystique (10k)

complete 1-1 of the doom campaign

hypothetical line-up:

Wolverine (57k)

Polaris (40k)

Magik (41k) alternate: Iceman (8k)

Ms. Marvel (34k)

Crystal (2k)

I've got quite a task in front of me, wish me luck.

Commander Nihil

[mydarkmindpalace]

Panko

Inside the mind of a cook having the perspective on everything as a piece of bread, as it crumbles apart like Panko, be not afraid and make Pork cutlets, pronto.