fuck everything
so i've now gotten to read the goff index xenos section of the new white dwarf. the section which is explicitly meant to be about the goff orks. the section which, when it was about space marines in the white dwarf, lavished them with victory after victory after victory.
you know what the goffs get? fucking nothing. absolutely fucking nothing. how does this happen? who literally sat down and went ‘we gotta write about the goffs, what would goff fans like to see most?’ ‘them fucking losing constantly,’
why? why the fuck do the orks have to suck so much in the lore? even when they’re literally writing a dedicated section meant to be about the orks they still decide the best use for it is to just pile defeat on to fucking defeat? what the fuck will stop them making orks suck in the lore?
we first get a section called ‘goffs at war’ which is meant to give a detailed look at some memorable ork campaigns featuring goffs, the space marine sections did the same and they win all their battles in it.
so how does it go for the goffs?
melenath: where they lose to eldar
ryza: where they lose to the imperium
aankhas: their only fucking win where they beat the necrons
armageddon: a loss then draw for fucks sake
but it gets better. IT GETS SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER BECAUSE FUCK ORK PLAYERS YOU DON’T GET TO BE HAPPY.
we then get a timeline section all about the goffs, like most codices feature, meant to psych you up about your faction and get you into the mood. it includes:
a random series of undetailed notes about ghazghkull being in lots of places at once.
an inconclusive ongoing battle of grukk’s against the imperium
a fucking win finally against random unknown foes on a hive world, they won’t even fucking let us know if there were enemies or if the biggest win the orks can pull off is beating random civilians
orks killing orks
orks losing on armageddon
orks losing to crimson fists
orks losing to space wolves
imperial knight-focused story about them wanting revenge on orks
the only fuckign detailed win the orks get the whole fucking section and, of course, who are they allowed to beat? sisters of battle, because only sisters of battle can lose to fucking xenos
random note on teleportation
note on two inconclusive camapigns
note on an inconsclusivebattle against grukk
a vindicaire being captured by zagstruk
ragnar beheading gahzghkull
ragnar becoming a primaris
ghazgkull killing other orks
this is it. this is fucking all we get. i was fucking hoping so much we’d finally get some actual ork wins when i heard that there’d be an ordo xenos section on the orks in the white dwarf, ont he goffs, i figured ‘surely in a segment literally dedicated to how cool the goffs are the goffs won’t fucking suck’ but boy what an absolute fucking loser idiot i am, thinking ork players get to have nice lore, i’m so sorry space marine and imperial players that for a second i though other players actually deserved to enjoy themselves too, must be because i’m a filthy, heretic or purge the xenos or whatever fucking shitty other meme you want to repeat ad nauseam to fill the gap that this leaves.
fuck games workshop and black library, they clearly don’t awnt anyone but imperial fans to even get to enjoy themselves with the lore if their literal sections on the orks, dedicated to the goffs, paints them as fucking losers getting their shit kicked in constantly.
i can’t take this, i cannot take this, how absolutely spiteful, vindictive and fucking awful do you have to be to literlaly take a section about the orks and use it as yet another chance to jack off the marins and the imperium? i cannot take this
people say it’s getting better but it isn’t. it isn’t. this is the fucking newest piece of fluff and lore gw has done on orks and it has literally been this and saga of the beast and they have givent he orks almost no wins at fucking all, evne when the attention is literally focuse don't hem. fuckafabgagmlasgpagaog
