I found myself waking up at some point in the middle of the night. Is it night? It’s so hard to tell sometimes. There’s no windows and my sleep is dictated by the patients and work. I’m never not on the clock. How many days has it been since we arrived? It’s probably been weeks by now. I’m not sure anymore… I never really got to see the sun much. It seems Kakashi has though. He’s been developing a bit of a tan, but he keeps wearing those skintight mask shirts and he’s getting an odd tan line. I traced over his scar while smiling at his silly change in skin tone as he slept soundly. His breathing calm and even as he rested before me on his side. He took a deep breath and mumbled something I couldn’t quite catch before stirring and turning now with his back faced to me. This time I traced along the wolf tattoo on his right shoulder blade, my forefinger going over the fang of the larger white wolf that was barely visible through the light that crept in under the bedroom door. I can’t remember the last time we were in bed together, just existing together in peace. I think they’re using his ability for reconnaissance to gather intel on the rastarojos, which is good for us either way. The CIA will like that. Still… When he’s away… I always worry he’s going to come back as my next patient.
He turned once more while muttering something unintelligible, this time he rested on his back. I propped myself up on my elbow and noticed his eyes were moving quickly under his lids. Then there was his finger twitch. The one he always gets when he has night terrors. I carefully straddled him while pressing my knees onto his forearms while I placed my hands on his cheeks. “Kakashi.” I called out to him while thumbing his cheeks, trying to wake him. Still he didn’t wake, and I felt his forearm flexing under my knee which meant his finger was still moving. “Kakashi.” I called out again to receive no response. “Kakashi!” In a matter of seconds, his forearms slid out from under me and he grabbed mine to then pin me to the bed with his knees on my biceps and both hands wrapped around my throat. He was squeezing so tightly as I balled my hands into fists and hit at his thighs. My feet tried to come up and slide around the front of his stomach to try and push him off. Even with pushing with all my strength, it wasn’t enough. He was too much. I tried to speak but no words came out, so I opted to kick him. Something there caused him to come back to it and I watched the very moment it happened.
His eyes widened and in it I saw all of the realization he had, finally understanding where he was and his actions. Next was fear. Absolute sheer fear. I knew he was terrified of the idea of what he was doing, what it meant, what that meant for my opinion of him. He quickly scrambled to the opposite end of the bed as I gasped for air. I heard a thud as I coughed and breathed deeply, and when I sat up I could see he had fallen off of the bed. His feet were curled up as his back rested against the wall with him staring at his hands that rested on his thighs. I crawled over to the edge of the bed nearest to him once I caught my breath and held out my hand. “Kakashi, come back to bed.” I suggested, but he shook his head. When I got off of the bed, I sat down next to him with my head resting on his shoulder to then interlace my fingers with one of the ones he stared at.
“Why would you-?” He started to talk but stopped once his voice cracked and he squeezed my hand tightly.
“One more second and I would’ve kicked you off of me.” I joked to try and lighten the mood.
“Stop. This is serious.” He mentioned while looking at my neck and running his thumb tenderly over the skin. “It’s going to bruise.”
“It’s not like I haven’t had that bruise before.” I pursed my lips but was unsuccessful in hiding my smirk.
“Why aren’t you mad, or hurt, or scared, or-”
“Because we don’t do that to each other, remember?” I told him as I placed my other hand on his cheek and my thumb felt the wet remnants of tears on his mask. “That wasn’t you, nor was it something you intended to do.” I elaborated while lowering his mask. “Come back to bed with me, yea?” I pleaded, and after a moment of hesitation, he nodded. Once we both got into bed, I laid on my back and pulled his head into my chest. My hand threaded through his hair and massaged his scalp. “Do you want to talk about it?” I offered, but he shook his head before nuzzling into me and hiding his face with his leg hooking around me. “You’ve been more on edge lately… Do they have you doing things similar to what you used to do in the rangers?” I wondered.
“Yes.” He mumbled after a long while. His hand started to snake it’s way under the sweatshirt of his I’ve taken to wearing when he isn’t around when I go to sleep. His hand groped my breast, his thumb grazing over my nipple. He always does this, uses sex as a way to avoid talking about things that were too difficult.
“Kakashi.” I scolded while he looked up at me with brows slightly raised and innocence in his eyes. He doesn’t even realize that’s what he’s doing… “Kakashi, you don’t have to tell me anything, but if you don’t want to talk, just tell me that instead of using sex as a way to avoid it.” His hand lowered from my breast down to my waist and he hid his face in my chest.
“How are you so…?”
“Therapy Kakashi. Many years of therapy before and after being deployed. You should go too.” But his hand tightened when clasping at my waist as if distraught. “If you want, when we get back, we can go to the VA and I’ll help you set things up.” His hold on me tightened even more. “If you want, I’ll even go in with you, for the first few sessions… If that will make you more comfortable…” I offered and his face came out of hiding to come take a look at me. His lips were slightly parted and there was that certain purity in his eyes, one that hid away the fear.
“Can you really do that…?” He asked so quietly… It was almost like his voice was trembling.
“If it gets you to go, then yes. It should be fine.” I assured to then watch him bury his face in my chest once more.
“Ok.” He murmured against the sweatshirt of his I wore, squeezing just a little tighter to then loosen his hand up completely all while I continued massaging his scalp.
“Ok… Do you want to sleep, or…?” I asked while trying to push his unruly hair back with my fingers. His fingers traced down from my waist, to my hips, and under my lace panties. His finger ran along outside my folds. My hands went to cup his face pulling gently towards me and he neared with his free hand while slipping a finger past my folds to feel at my slick. I moaned against his lips before he pressed his lips to mine to then quickly slip his tongue past and taste me. His tongue massaged along mine as the pad of his calloused finger rested at my entrance without entering. “Kakashi…” I whined to then feel him slip the finger past my entrance and curl upwards to hit that perfect spot. My breath hitched with my mouth open, my lips just barely touching his. Our breaths mixing together as he watched my face in awe with a second finger slipping past.
His lips pressed along my skin, tracing down my neck as whimpered while reveling in the feeling of being stretched by those calloused fingers. Warm kisses pressed down my chest, stopping to suck on each nipple with my hands threading into his hair. Once each nipple was perked and nipped, he moved onto trailing down my stomach until he reached my clothed heat. He stopped for a moment to remove my panties, only to plunge his fingers right back in. His pace was unrelenting as I writhed under his touch. The very moment his lips went over my sensitive bundle, I felt myself gush around him. He lapped up my juices with the sounds of his sucking up every last drop sounding oh so lewd. He came up to press his lips to mine and I could taste all of my liquid in his mouth, on his lips, his chin, his tongue… His hips ground into mine and I could feel his hardness pressed up against my heat. When he pulled away he took off his mask/skintight shirt and I quickly took off his sweatshirt I wore. After he slipped off his pants he pulled his hips rutted into mine while sucking on my neck, his touch starting to feel overwhelming, all consuming.
“I love the way you taste…” He spoke with hushed tones, hot breath in my ear before he groaned as he slid his even thicker girth within me. I gasped as I wrapped my arms around him and clawed at his back as he stilled, allowing me to adjust to his size. Squeezing my walls around him, I heard him grunt into my ear. “Aqua, stop squeezing me like that.” He whined while trying to move within me, but I only squeezed harder causing him to let out curses. His hand caressed one side of my neck as he used the other to stifle his moans. My legs wrapped around his hips to help him bottom out into me. “Fuck, Aqua…” He moaned against my skin.
“It’s been too long Kakashi… I need you.” I whined as I felt him filling me to the hilt. He nuzzled into my ear and his hot breath sent shivers down my spine. I mewled his name again as his hips rutted into me and I pricked red crescent moon shapes into his back while squeezing my walls around him.
“Aqua, I won’t last if you keep-” He cut himself off when I sank my teeth into his shoulder, whining against his skin as my muscles tightened. Everything felt like it was building up so quickly despite his slower pace, unable to move as much from the grip I held on his girth. Despite that, it felt like I could feel everything when he moved in me. Every twitch, every thrust, every vein, every ridge and it was making me crazy. He bit back just as hard, with his sharp canines piercing the skin on my shoulder. The pleasure from the pain surged through me and pushed me over the edge, with my walls pulsating around him. His teeth unhooked from my shoulder and he groaned a deep, guttural groan in my ear as I felt him flood me with hot ropes. He groaned a few more times as he gave his last few thrusts before he rested on top of me. My hands threaded into his hair, and I started massaging his scalp until with both fell asleep.
To read the rest, click here. Also the character in the photo is OFC, Ximena. Bad ass cartel boss.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 41 of Sunrise:
Excerpt:
“Wait.” I called out and he spun on his heels with an exhausted look on his face, dark circles under his eyes, and a frown beneath his mask. He lazily walked over to me and pressed his forehead to mine, putting weight on it as he rested for a moment with his eyes closed. With him facing away from Shikamaru, I lowered his mask and rested my hand on his cheek as I thumbed it while thinking about how much I love this man. After pulling him in for a brief and sweet kiss, he pulled away with the slightest of dreamy smiles before frowning again. He pursed his lips as he sat down with his eyes still closed in front of the screens. That frown still so visible… It’s hard to tell whether it's from the exhaustion or if he’s still angry with me. Though, if I’m honest with myself, it’s probably a bit of both. I watched as he fiddled with the screens and computer, his eyes barely open, all while Asuma continued to tug at my hair with a harsher grip. Ok, it’s starting to hurt. I readjusted my yukata and carefully readjusted Asuma for him to suckle, hopefully calming him so he would stop tugging at my hair so much as I pulled it out of his hand.
“Oh my! Lord Hokage, what a handsome face you have!” I heard Lady Mizukage’s voice and my head whipped around to see Kakashi scrambling to lift his mask. I tried my best to stifle my snickers, but the scowl Kakashi shot me quickly helped with that. “You look positively exhausted. Are the twins keeping you up?” She questioned with a concerned tone. Kakashi sighed and nodded, far too tired to finess anything akin to a diversion.
“They’re teething.” He stated with a grimace as he rested his head tilted onto some fingers as he held it up. Just then it seemed the rest of the Kage joined, and I quickly nodded off at the sound of them droning on and on about trading resources.
“LORD HOKAGE!” The Raikage thundered me away and when I turned my head to Kakashi, I noticed him blinking with wide eyes before rubbing them. “Are we boring you?” The Raikage scolded.
“No, Lord Raikage. I’m terribly sorry.” Kakashi quickly apologized and continued on with the trade, this time moving on from exchangeable goods, to resource management. I sat up and readjusted Asuma as I pulled the yukata back up before putting him into the crib. Putting on my slippers, I walked down to the cafeteria, holding my side as I went. When I walked up to the cafe portion, I ordered some matcha tea. Bringing the warm aromatic cup back up to the hospital room I was staying in, I opened the door without a sound. When I got there, I saw Kakashi with half lidded eyes, not even noticing that I had walked in. Quietly, and trying my best to stay out of frame, I bent my knees to lower myself and place the cup of matcha tea onto the table. Still out of frame, he grabbed my hand and gave it a thoughtful squeeze before I could walk away. That being said, the tea wasn’t going to do anything unless he drank it… And I watched as he attempted to drink it through his mask, mumbling curses under his breath when it pooled into the cloth of his mask. Quickly, he reangled everything so that his face was barely visible when he took a sip.
Kessho (Female OC) and Kakashi are now living married life, with Kakashi now as Hokage and twins along the way. The war is now over and the ninja that does not exist is starting to grow... A little restless with the lack of chaos. Plus, how are two emotionally stunted ninja supposed to parent?
So far the way I've written it, it's pretty ok to read on its own without having read parts 1 or 2. (Pancakes is their safeword, forgot that part)
I'm just going to lay this out there outright. If you're looking for something super fluffy, or characters who are perfect, where everything works and 'I love you no matter what' because everything is always perfect, or silly tantrums that could've easily been talked out as the form of angst... Don't look here. Relationships take work and I believe that that will make them stronger if two vastly imperfect people work on themselves together... Grow together. There's going to be a lot of angst. (I love writing angst). But it's always constructive and helps build them up. That being said, there are fluffy moments, and when they have them... So please, enjoy!
Also a tag to thank @daddyjackfrost for the prompt of sorts in terms of the Kakashi being tired and forgetting his mask was down.
Lord Sixth x OFC featuring domestic Rokudaime Kakashi
Chapter 44 of Sunrise
Excerpt:
"She will be back." I assured to watch Kakashi continue to hesitate before coming up to me close.
"How do you know?" He whispered with slight disbelief.
"Because she cares about her people. She knows we can help them. Now let's proceed with putting together a team. We can hand out the assignments when she comes back, and if she doesn't… well…" I finished with a shrug to watch him nod. He looked back to Tenzo and Shikamaru to give them a commanding nod, where we all went upstairs to Kakashi's office. Once there, he pulled out a map and rolled it onto his desk, only I didn't recognize the terrain on the map of the land of fire… Fuck. This could be problematic. "It's not here…" I murmured.
"Are you sure?" Kakashi asked sternly, and when I nodded he sighed and placed his hand onto the desk before running his fingers through his hair. "That means it's not in the land of fire." He groaned while peeking up at me with his hand resting on the desk once more.
"I'm aware of what that means Kakashi." I told him while shifting my weight nervously from hip to hip. He pulled out another map and I followed with my eyes up the river to a particular mountain that resided in… the Land of Lightning. "There." I told him as I placed my finger on the mountains I recalled. Kakashi handed me Obito as well before sitting in his chair and burying his face in his hands.
"Kessho." He groaned while shaking his head to then tug on his face as he lifted it up to then face me. "I don't know if we can do this." Kakashi confessed and I could see a frown beneath his mask.
"Kakashi, they need our help." I urged with a whine while raising my foot to then place it onto his thigh and wiggle it.
"I know Kessho, but…" He placed his hand over my foot and thumbed it. "I'm trying to create a Shinobi union." He started as he stood up and neared while placing his hands onto our son's heads. "It'll expand the allied forces into allowing in other smaller nations, and hopefully long lasting peace to come with it." He explained before placing a kiss onto each of their heads. "I don't want to risk it falling apart before it even comes to fruition." He elaborated.
"Lord Hokage, if I may." Shikamaru asked for permission, and when Kakashi turned to him and nodded, he continued. "Isn't this exactly the kind of thing that you should be able to discuss with the allied forces? If this isn't something that can be discussed and resolved there, then the Shinobi Union is doomed from the start." He remarked while Kakashi sat back in his chair with a sigh.
"Maybe this is nothing but a hopeless dream…" He groaned while resting his face in his hands once again.
“Could you two give us a moment?” I asked while looking at Shikamaru and Tenzo who were standing idly by. Tenzo placed the papers on Kakashi’s desk after a nod and Shikamaru and Tenzo both stepped out while catching up with one another, talking about much lighter topics than the one at hand. I placed Asuma on the desk along with Obito, both on their tummies. “Kakashi.” I called out softly while placing my hand on his head and watching my two boys smile so brightly at each other on top of these maps that now felt meaningless. Kakashi lifted his head, and the smallest of smiles was apparent through his mask, as he saw the very thing I was watching with his own two eyes. He rested back in his chair and I took to sitting on his lap, where he then wrapped his arms around me while we watched our two boys. “Didn’t having a family feel like a hopeless dream not that long ago…?” I spoke quietly as I enjoyed the sound of their laughter. Kakashi’s chest rumbled beside me before I felt bare lips pressed to my cheek, always such quick and nimble fingers when it comes to his mask.
“You might be right about that, but this is different Kessho… There’s going to be so many people involved, and people I don’t know, won’t know how to convince…” He whined while resting his head on my temple before burying his face in my neck.
“Treat that part like a reconnaissance mission at first that turns into persuasion…” I suggested to have him lift his head.
“You want me to pretend I’m in the Anbu again?” He snickered once before asking with a grin forming against my cheek as he squeezed me tightly.
“If that’s what it takes.” I teased back. “I mean it though Kakashi, I know there’s the concept of making sure there’s peace in the world for them, but… Don’t forget they’re watching you too. Do you want them to learn about this nation you thought you couldn’t help one day?” I asked while running my fingers through his hair.
“No…” He groaned while pulling himself from my neck. “But you’ve seen the Raikage… He’s not going to be an easy feat.” He reasoned.
“Nothing good ever is. I mean…” I leaned over and smoothed over each one of my baby’s cheeks. “Take them… They were a lot of work to have them get here…” I told him as I watched them smile at my touch. “Take me…” I told him while turning to him to look him in the eyes as he wore a half smile. “I know I’m not easy…” I spoke to have him chuckle a few times, which led to a pang of guilt that made me scrunch my face. Upon noticing he cooed to me and pulled me in close, giving me nice reassuring squeezes.
“You’re not easy by any means… But you’re worth every minute.” He assured with a kiss to my cheek.
“Sasuke is back in town.” He hummed with the vibrations of his voice trembling his lips against my cheek.
“Send him my way. We never got to have our talk before he left last.” I told him and he nodded, his cheek nuzzling against mine, his lashes brushing against my skin as I felt his eyes flutter open.
“I’ll be sure to do that.” He laced his fingers in my hair, holding up my head, holding me tenderly to him.
“Is it ok if Tenzo waits outside while I talk with Sasuke? I just want Sasuke to feel comfortable.” I asked hesitantly, but he nuzzled into my neck and shook his head. “He can be just right outside the door-”
“No… No… Kessho.” He started with a mumble to then pull away and cry out my name with his brows knitted upwards with his hands smoothing over both of my cheeks. “Don’t do this to me.” He pleaded. “Don’t beg me like that please…” It was only then when I heard the pain in his voice that I realized how worried that alone would have made him.
“Ok, ok. How about we invite him to our lunch with us instead? He hasn’t met Asuma and Obito, has he?” I suggested as I pressed my forehead to his. He relaxed back into the couch before nuzzling into my neck, acting as touch starved as ever as he pulled me closer to him.
“That sounds nice… I’ll be sure to make him stay.” Kakashi mumbled with a tickle against my skin. “You should get going…” He murmured before placing a kiss onto my cheek. Obito began to cry out as he had started doing of as late when waking up if his brother wasn’t at his side. “We can’t let him sleep in the stroller… He’s just going to wake up crying.” He whispered in my ear before his cheek brushed against mine as he pulled away.
“I know, he just looks so peaceful already asleep, I don’t want to wake him by moving him.” I complained as I watched a smile slowly grow on Kakashi’s face.
“I know mama, I know.” His smiles always filled my heart with such love… Taking my time, I stood back up with my hand lingering in his before finally pulling away, only to have Asuma start crying. As soon as I picked Obito up, and he saw my face, he stopped crying.
“What’s the matter Obito? You miss mama?” I cooed as I held him on my cocked out hip while I wiped away his tears with my other hand. Obito looked back at me with wide eyes as I walked over to Kakashi who had Asuma on his hip, now calmed. “Who’s that?” I asked Obito while pointing at Kakashi. “Is that dada?” I chimed while watching Obito. Obito whipped his head to where I was pointing and smiled wide.
“Ka… Ka!” Obito called out while reaching over to Kakashi. I started to burst out laughing while feeling overwhelmed with joy as we switched the twins with me now holding onto Asuma. Kakashi was holding Obito high above his head, completely overjoyed as he spun around. Obito squealed happily while continuing to yell out ‘Kaka’. Kakashi’s grin was so wide, his eyes were almost closed, but I could tell he wanted them open to keep looking at the son he adored. He only stopped the spinning when Obito’s breakfast came back up and onto Kakashi’s face. I laughed even harder still with my side beginning to ache as Asuma squealed happily. Kakashi slowly held out Obito at chest level with his head looking straight ahead. The undigested carrots clung to his lashes as the rest of it started to droop down his face. When he opened his eyes, he held such annoyance within in him that when he turned to me he shot daggers. Clinging to Asuma tightly with one hand, I held onto my side with the other as it ached but I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched a piece of the food fall to the floor.
Obito held his arms out and started to kick in frustration while chewing on his lower lip, just barely missing the tinge of orange that stained his chin. “Kaka! Kaka!” Obito cried out and when Kakashi watched his son try to cling to him, reaching out for him, giving him all the love and wanting that I knew Kakashi craved so… The biggest smile returned to his face as he held his son to his chest once more. The laughter from within finally subsided as I watched the tender moment unfold, with Kakashi pressing Obito to his chest as the weight of the residue on his face started to fall to the floor, with Kakashi uncaring as he held his beloved son. Reaching into the baby bag that was hanging from the stroller, I pulled out a spit up rag and carefully cleaned Kakashi’s face removing the orange mask that Obito had gifted him. Once his face was wiped clean, I stood on my tippy toes and placed a kiss onto his cheek. Obito’s head turned towards mine as he rested his chubby cheek on Kakashi’s flak jacket once more. I cleaned the drool and residual spit up from the edges of his mouth before holding onto his little hand and placing a kiss on his tiny little fingers.
I awoke to feel Kakashi's fingertips tracing delicate small circles on my stomach. His breathing was calm and even, tickling the skin on the back of my neck. "Kakashi…?" I spoke quietly to feel his lips pressed to my skin. "Is it that you're being made to hurt people, and you don't want to?" I heard a deep sigh from behind me as he pulled away.
"Now?" He asked in annoyance.
"Please Kakashi…" I begged while shifting to lay on my stomach, looking over at him to see him laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. I scooched over to him, hooking my leg on his hip and gripping onto his left arm that held the military division tattoo on his bicep.
"Yes." He confessed after a deep sigh, removing his arm from my grip to place it around me while I settled into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Then why join what we do if you don't want to hurt people anymore?" I wondered while tracing my fingertips along the tattoo of orange goggles in the desert sand.
"I joined because it's all I know to do." He replied after a moment. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up to that face that was avoiding my gaze.
"You're young… You can always learn something new." I cooed, but he shook his head despite my thumbing his cheek.
"It feels like this is all I'm meant to do." His grip on my waist squeezed my flesh a bit while I listened to the pain in his voice.
"Ay mi amor…" I clicked my tongue while straining to reach up to his cheek, peppering the left side of his face with tender kisses. "Mi vida…" I called out to him before he finally turned to me, pressing my lips to his for a moment before placing a kiss on my forehead before I settled back into him. "You can do anything you want to. I'll help you do it." I assured while he started to trace his fingertips along the dip in my waist.
"Do you like dogs?" He asked and I couldn't help but chuckle at the drastic change in conversation.
"Yes, I have a dog." I told him while mumbling against his skin.
"What kind?" He wondered.
"She's a miniature schnauzer. My friend whose parents were in the Air Force is watching her." I explained. "Why? Do you have dogs?"
"Yes actually. I have eight. How’s your dog with other dogs?” He wondered and I shrugged.
“She pretty much sniffs them and then ignores them.” I told him while recalling back to all the times at the dog park she would just go off and do her own thing.
“Even with bigger dogs?” He asked while tracing his fingers up my curves.
“Yeah. Why? What’s your biggest dog?”
“He’s a mix between a rottweiler, bulldog, and a pitbull. He’s quite the big boy.” He mused while I raised my brows and looked up at him. “Yeah… He’s a rescue, they all are, but trust me he’s a big sweetheart after he sees you have my approval.”
“Ok… Might need to introduce them slowly, one on one. Kiki can get a bit over protective of me too.” I warned while his fingers threaded in my hair as he looked down to me, such warmth in that dark eye I could barely see with the light creeping in from underneath the door.
“After introductions are made… Will you move in with me?” He asked while massaging my scalp.
“I… Are you serious…?” I wondered while staring at him, but the look on his face didn’t waver.
“I mean, right now I have a roommate, but he’s deployed overseas and we can always try to find someplace bigger-”
“Yes.” I told him while placing my hand on his cheek and pulling him into a sweet kiss. His free hand went to my cheek and his thumb traced along my skin while we stared at each other.
“Why did you say yes?”
“Are you regretting asking me?” I teased while pursing my lips to hide a smile.
“No, it’s just that you didn’t even really think about it-”
“I don’t need to think about it… I love you Kakashi. It’s as simple as that.” I whispered while craning a bit to reach his ear.
“You love me…” He repeated, almost as if trying to convince himself while I pulled away and placed a kiss onto his cheek.
“I do.” I told him as he stared at the ceiling. “Let me show you.” I told him while shifting to straddle his waist, placing my hands on his cheeks and pulling him into a kiss. My lips brushed against his with his hand threading into my hair, pulling me closer to him as his tongue slid past. The passionate kiss deepened with his tongue dancing against mine, my hands leaving his face to roam against his body. I wanted to touch every part of him, feel every inch of his skin with my hands, but mostly I wanted him to feel me feeling him. I wanted him to feel me wanting him. I wanted him to feel me loving him. Pressing against his chest, I slid back some as I broke the kiss. Reaching behind me, I caressed his legs as I spread my legs to have his hardened length slip between my folds. My hips rutted slowly while I caressed his calves to then grip onto his thighs for leverage as I stared at him with small whimpers escaping my lips. “You’re so handsome…” I cooed while tracing my hands up his sides. “You make me feel so good.” I told him as I reveled in the feeling of my nub rubbing against the tip of his girth. His hands traced up my thighs, moving up my curves before resting on my breasts, molding the flesh in his hands. He moved up with one hand planted behind him while the other held my large breast to start suckling on my nipple. His eye looked up at me with such need and want, I threaded my fingers into his hair and held his face close to my breast while I continued to move my hips. His hand moved to my back and he brought me back down on top of him with my straddle moving to his waist. Lips remained attached to my nipple and slick coated his stomach as I cradled his head in my arms, whimpering at his tongue swirls.
“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured as his lips let go to gently suck on my bottom lip as he cupped my face in his hands. Sliding my hips down and back without ever looking away from his face, I reached between my legs and slipped him into me. He kept brushing my hair back, trying his best to keep it out of my face, like he never wanted to miss a second of us connecting. His neck craned and strained as he reached to me to pull me into a kiss, one that felt so unifying… So utterly filled with the love that existed between us both, the one that was so hard to find at times but in this moment… That’s all there was.
“I love you.” I whispered as I pulled away to rest my cheek on his chest. I quickly placed one hand on his cheek while I threaded my other hand through his fingers, watching my hand press his into the bed sheets as I slowly started to rut my hips. He wrapped his arm around me, holding me tight to him as I lifted my hips and rutted them forwards when our hips met. “I love you.” I would mumble occasionally between peppering his chest with kisses. My sensitive bundle of nerves started to catch on his skin, causing me to mewl in pleasure. I stopped lifting and solely moved my hips forwards and back, whimpering I love you’s like a prayer that would help me feel ecstasy, that would help me feel good with him.
“That’s it… I want you to cum. I wanna make you feel good.” He cooed with his free hand gripping onto my hip, and helping me quicken my pace. Soon enough I unravelled with a groan, feeling him help me ride out my high with his strong, calloused hand moving my hips for me. His hand moved up my back with him sitting up while letting go of my hand.
“Can you feel it?” I asked him with my lips brushing up against his before pulling him into a kiss with one hand on his cheek and the other in his hair. My legs wrapped around him as my tongue dove in, wanting to taste every part of him. I want everything about him. His hand rested at the nape of my neck while his other arm wrapped around me as my legs wrapped around him. We were utterly entangled, just the way our lives have become to each other. I started body rolls to create some friction between us both, squeezing my walls down as I felt him move within me. I pulled his head into my neck with my lips pressed against his ear. “Can you feel how much I love you?” I whispered before trailing kisses down his neck, feeling his arms around me tighten just a smidge in a motion of possession. “I’m yours… I’m all yours.” I mumbled against his skin, trying to give him that reassurance he so desperately craved. I could hear quiet moans from him as he breathed on my ear.
“I love you, Aquarela.” He moaned with a thrust, and I quickly tightened my arm around his shoulders. “I love you so much it hurts.” He cried out quietly while pushing his forehead to my temple as he gave another slow thrust. “Please… Don’t leave me.” He begged with another thrust, his arms tightening further around me.
“Never.” I mumbled while dragging my lower lip along his neck, up towards his ear to have my breath hitch as he gave another thrust.
“Don’t give up on me.” He pleaded with a strained voice, giving another thrust as I felt his tears rub on my cheek.
“I won’t.” I mewled with another one of his thrusts, fisting his hair in my hand with my nails digging into his shoulder. “I promise.” I comforted as I felt him try to grab at my skin the way I was at his shoulder while he thrusted again.
“Don’t die on me.” He breathed while I met his thrust this time, squeezing my eyes shut, reveling in the physical and the emotional.
“Only if-” An uncontrollable moan escaped my lips. “You don’t on me.” I countered while meeting his hips every time as the pace quickened slightly. He nodded against me while nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.
“Love me.” He demanded quietly while quickening his pace again. “Love me please.” He begged while I started to pepper kisses all along every portion of his skin that I could reach.
“I love you.” I whispered when I reached his ear, the words making his pace grow dizzying. “I love you, Kakashi. I love you, I love you, I love you.” I whimpered repeatedly, with his moans growing less interspaced as heat quickly built between us both. I continued to repeat I love you’s between pressing kisses to his skin, all while meeting his rapid thrusts as I could feel the waves quickly becoming ready to crash. His short nails dug into my skin as we reached our high, mine readjusting and pricking new red crescent moons into his skin. “I’ll love you as long as you let me.” I whispered as my heart slowed while he rode us through our high. His hold on me became much more tender as he lowered us both, with me still on top of him and him still within me. My head rested on his chest, and I was just about to motion to move off of him, but his grip around me tightened, keeping me in place.
“Stay here like this, please… It feels nice.” He asked quietly, and by the sound of his voice, I could tell I needed to wipe away his tears. I reached out and placed my hands on his cheeks, blindly thumbing away the stray tears.
“Are you ok?” I asked quietly, feeling a little worried as one of his hands started to trace delicate fingertips along my spine.
“Yeah.” He croaked before clearing his throat. “Overwhelming.” He mumbled while pulling the covers over us both as I yawned.
“Okay.” I told him, while closing my eyes. “But I meant everything… I love you, and I’ll love you as long as you let me. I won’t leave you, I won’t give up on you, and I won’t die on you as long as you don’t die on me.” I told him to have him squeeze me tight before pulling one arm away towards his head as he groaned a sigh.
“You’re too good for me.” He sighed while bringing his arm back down, smoothing over my hair, and placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“So you’ll let me?” I asked with a smile on my face he couldn’t see. Silence fell between us, but my smile didn’t fade as I listened to his heartbeat.
“Yes, but…” He huffed a strained sigh. “I still don’t under-”
“Will love me as long as I let you?” I asked before yawning again.
“Yes, but-”
“Will you leave me?” I questioned while thumbing his shoulder.
“No, but-”
“Will you give up on me?” I asked to hear him huff a sigh.
“No, but Aqua-”
“And you won’t die on me if I don’t die on you, right?” I smiled at his frustration, trying my best to hold back a snicker.
“Right, but-”
“That’s enough for me.” I told him while running my fingers into his shoulders, a light massage to try to calm him.
“But-”
“It’s enough.” I repeated while running my fingers along his shoulder again to hear him sigh deeply.
“I’m not going to be able to say anything against this, am I?” He grumbled while squeezing me tight.
“No, because I don’t need anything else, and any self depreciating thing you’re about to say is irrelevant.” I countered while resting my hands on him with another yawn.
“You’re a real pain in the ass sometimes.” He murmured before finally yawning himself.
“Good thing I’m yours then.” I joked, and the last thing I heard was a quiet chuckle of his before drifting off back to sleep.
I awoke to feel Kakashi’s strong arms around me, his hold tight as always, only this time… Flutters in my stomach and cheeks turning red, I realized he was awake as his thumb moved gently over my skin. Taking that very hand, I brought it up to my lips and kissed his knuckles to then feel his lips press onto my shoulder. “We should head out.” He suggested before I rolled over to face him. Placing my hand on his cheek, my thumb delicately traced over his scar. His good eye closed at the delicate touch and his face held a peaceful look to it. I leaned in, and placed a sweet kiss onto his forehead after moving his wiry hair.
“Ok, I’ll get dressed.” I told him before getting up. We both got dressed and immediately checked out to get onto the road, stopping later on to get some food. The ride was mostly uneventful, quiet even (apart from the yelling I did when people kept trying to cut me off). Kakashi held my hand when I wasn’t changing gears.
“It’s beautiful.” He remarked while looking at some of the mountains.
“It reminds me of home. All I need is beach on this side.” I told him while pointing to the opposite side of where he had been looking to have him chuckle.
“You said you hadn’t been in a while?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah… I keep meaning to go back it’s just… Never the right time.” I sighed as I rested my head back and held the steering wheel with both hands.
“I’ve always wanted to go.” He mentioned with a slight shrug.
“Oh if you do I’ll show you around! I’ll take you to the rainforest, to the bioluminescent bay, we could go ziplining, we’d have to hit the beaches… Puerto Rico has the best sand, I have yet to see any sand that’s better in all the beaches I’ve been to.” I trailed off to have him squeeze my hand.
“That sounds like a really nice time.” He mentioned and when I stole a glance, I noticed he had been watching me. My cheeks started to heat up and I quickly returned to watching the road ahead. Things fell silent again, though this time it was much more comfortable compared to the tension felt yesterday. Before we knew it, the ocean came into view, and with it… Cartagena.
We drove into the walled city on the cobblestone path and went to the location indicated by Yesica. When we parked the car, we both stepped out and stretched only to have our vision covered by black hoods before we were taken.
“What’s your problem?” I asked while stealing another glance to see him staring off to the pastures before my gaze returned to the road ahead.
“What’s yours?” He spat back which took me by surprise, so I scoffed while trying to hold back a smile.
“What the fuck are you on about?” I asked while my grip on the steering wheel and the stickshift tightened. He huffed, but didn’t say anything and when I peeked his way, he was staring out again. “Answer me Hatake.” I demanded, but I could see him shake his head in his periphery.
“You got into the car…” He started after a long silence. “Pissed as all hell... Slamming doors… Angry or heartbroken music… I mean for fucks sake!" He turned the music back up and there was Buddy Holly singing away:
Well, you know you love me, baby
Still you tell me, maybe
That someday, well, I'll be blue
He lowered the volume once more so he could continue speaking. "I thought… I thought when I showed you at the end this morning, you’d get it.” He gestured angrily… Aggressively… Never looking my way as he spoke. “Clearly you don’t get it…. Or maybe you do.” He muttered just loud enough for me to hear over the wind blowing from the top of the convertible being down.
“Get what?! Why can’t you just fucking tell me straight up what it is that I’m supposed to fucking get?! I don’t understand!” I shouted and finished with my fist hitting the steering wheel.
“I have feelings for you, dammit!” He yelled while finally looking at me. I kept trying to steal glances as I watched how furious he was, though I didn’t understand why. His face started to soften after huffing, and that’s when he looked away, but I was speechless. “Isn’t it fucking obvious?” He grumbled.
“Uhhh… You’re kinda real hot and cold there Kakashi.” I clarified. “I don’t know that I can ever really trust what you say about your feelings.” I finished with another scoff as I tried to piece things together in my head. He let out a loud sigh through his nose before letting the silence fall again.
“That’s why... I tried to show you, but it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way.” He explained but I just shook my head.
“With what? Tha-tha-that thing where you were a little tender at the end? Please.” I mocked. “And don’t try to say I don’t have feelings for you, because I’ve been blatantly clear this entire time, that I do.”
“Why do you even have feelings for me?! What kind of dumbass falls for a guy like me ?!” He snapped as I pursed my lips to prevent myself from saying anything back right away. I stayed quiet for a bit, really thinking about our time in Bogota, and on the plane… Trying to remember every little thing. “See?” He let out a dark chuckle with a shake of his head. “You don’t even have a reason, do you...?” He started out angry, but finished with a sulking feeling as he slumped into the chair. I did have reasons though…
“When you let go… When you let go and you finally let me in… Honestly, I don’t even think you’re realizing you’re doing it, but when you do… It’s magical.” I replied as I stared on ahead to the open road with a small smile on my face. “The way you look at me, like I’m the only one in the room that’s overflowing with people. The way you started carrying a hair tie on your wrist for me ever since the night mine snapped and the heat of the room was too much with all of my hair. The way your nose is buried in my hair after I wash it. The way you always help me walk back when I’m stumbling drunk in those heels, or how you carried me back the one time the heel snapped. The way you smile at me when you look into my eyes and cup my cheek… Fuck I love that smile… When you truly let me in Kakashi… I get to see this thoughtful, sweet, caring man who has me dumbfounded at how head over heels he’s made me. And yet, I think most of all… It’s the way you know all about my past… And you’ve never once looked at me like I was broken.” I finished my confession with my eyes watering slightly, but just as I expected… I was met with nothing but silence. We must’ve driven a good 50 kilometers, with me waiting, hoping, as tears quietly escaped and rolled down my cheeks. The silence was far too loud and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I reached out to turn up the volume on the cassette player that contained an AUX cable attached to my phone.
“Wait.” Kakashi uttered as he placed his hand on mine to stop me from turning up the volume. His voice sounded so small and when I glimpsed his way, I saw sadness in that one eye of his. Lowering my hand back onto the stickshift, I waited for him to speak. “I’ve done a lot… A lot of bad things… I’ve been like this because, you shouldn’t have feelings for me.”
“Kakashi we were both in the army, I’ve done bad things too.” I reasoned.
“You were a medic , Aquarela. You helped save the lives of our comrades… I…” His voice cracked before he could finish and I blindly reached out for his hand.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to tell me, but please… Please Kakashi… I’m begging you, please… Can we genuinely try? Let me find out for myself in time. Let me make the decisions when the time comes and you decide to tell me.” I pleaded, only to have quietness fall again.
I walked back into the room and heard the cocking of a gun. I slowly held up my hands and turned my head to where the noise came from to see Kakashi lowering his glock. He let out a sigh of relief and put the gun on the nightstand with the safety on. “I’m sorry… I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” He explained as he held onto the ring that I was supposed to be wearing.
“I thought it might be better for us to leave early. It’ll be a long drive.” I remarked as I took off my coat and draped it over the chair in front of the desk in the small hotel room.
“You’ll have to leave those clothes behind. We can’t go claiming we don’t have money when you wear dresses like that.” He grumbled as he peered over his shoulder and clutched the ring in his fist.
“I know. I was going to have the front desk mail them to my address.” I told him as I took off the earrings. “I was hoping to put these in the file for now. I don’t think it’s safe to mail them.” I told him as I held them out. He turned around and interchanged the ring for the earrings as he crawled under the bed while I sat on top to take off my heels. When he came out from under the bed, he placed his crossed forearms onto the bed, with his chin resting on them as I massaged my feet.
“I found the number to a car rental.” He mentioned.
“I actually saw a car for sale that we can just buy for cheap. It’ll also just be easier than to deal with a rental.” I told him as I recalled the convertible I had seen on the way here.
“Are you sure?” He asked as he got up.
“Yeah, it’ll be a lot more enjoyable I think too.”
“Alright, we’ll go with your plan.” He agreed as he sat next to me with his arm brushing up against mine. He placed his hands over mine on my foot and started massaging the balls of it. I wanted to say no, to refuse his touch, but he was so good at it. I placed my palms back on the bed behind me as I let him continue to massage my foot. “Did you have fun?” He questioned as my head fell back while I enjoyed the sensations.
“Yes.” I groaned as he dug into a particular spot with his thumb.
“I meant it you know.” He grumbled. “You really do look beautiful…” He spoke softer as he let go of my foot and my head lifted to see him twisting his body towards me as he leaned back. His hand caressed my cheek, the touch I had really been longing for all night. I closed my eyes for a moment as I felt tears threatening to well up, only to feel his lips pressed against mine. His lips enveloped my top one as I sucked on his bottom lip while my hand drifted onto his wrist. I squeezed my grip on his wrist before pushing back while I straightened.
“No.” I told him defiantly before getting up off of the bed.
“What’s gotten into you? You’re not usually so…” He trailed off as I walked over to my luggage. I whipped around with tears in my eyes as they threatened to fall over.
“What’s gotten into me?! I believe I’ve made my feelings abundantly clear, and you’ve done nothing but toy with them since. So please, don’t try to make me feel bad for finally taking a stand against your mind games.” I spat at him as he looked to his lap.
“Is that what you think I’m doing to you?” He asked as he rubbed his palms on his thighs, his grey sweatpants shifting in place.
“Don’t act like you don’t know that that’s what you’ve been doing this entire time.” I scoffed as I took off the dress. “Pendejo… Mamao… Se cree que que soy tan pendeja, pues si fui pendeja pero ya no. Ahora-”
“Truthfully Aquarela.” He snapped after I had been muttering under my breath, having only been in my panties and squatting in front of my luggage as I smelled for a tank top to wear to bed. His sudden deepened voice whisked me from my thoughts as I looked over my shoulder to see him towering over me behind me. Chills went down my spine but I felt the sudden need to be brave, to be strong, so I stood up and turned around, puffing my chest out so my nipples grazed his stomach. “I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m around you.” He growled as he looked at me with slightly narrowed eyes while walking forwards, causing me to stumble back and step on my clothes in the suitcase. “The way the thought of you just consumes my mind… Makes everything feel so blurry…” He continued as he backed me into the wall, slamming his palms onto the wall on either side of my face. Still my tight lips didn’t waver as I looked up at him with a cold stare. He let out a dark chuckle as a sinister smile grew on his face. “As if I needed to be blinded any further, only having one eye to begin with.” His face turned serious again as he looked away for a moment while clenching his jaw. “Tell me, how am I supposed to focus on the mission when you’re all I can think about?” He asked after nosing his way to my ear. “ You are the reason we’re progressing on this mission. Not me.” He sneered as his face pulled away to look at mine while I scowled. “You’re nothing but a newbie, I have over a decade’s worth of experience in this field and you …” He slammed his fist against the wall next to my face while having looked away. “But you…” He hissed with his gaze turning to me once more. “You waltz in here like it’s nothing, moving things along, all while I’m utterly intoxicated by you…” He tilted his head to the side and moved his whole body an inch closer. “Distracted by you…” He tilted his head to the other side and moved his body an inch closer. “Wholly consumed by you…” He breathed before smashing his lips into mine with a bruising kiss as he pushed his hips up against me.
“What the fuck are you even saying?!” I fumed after pushing him off of me. He let out another one of those dark chuckles as he looked away and pushed back against the wall to free me from his towering position.
“If you can’t understand what I just tried to tell you…” He started as he scratched his jaw with a pained smile. “I can’t…” He held up his hands as he shook his head and walked off. I blinked with my back still against the wall as I slid down it, trying to process what just happened. Intoxicated ? What does that even mean? Could it mean that he has actual feelings for me, and that he’s not just fucking with me? It feels like that sometimes… Maybe he’s just referring to the physical… That’s probably more akin to what he meant. I mean… Sex with him is… Otherworldly, but… I can focus. Maybe I’m that good? No… That’s not it. “You should try and sleep some. Or better yet, I’ll just drive tomorrow.” He called out, bringing me out of my racing thoughts. I quickly grabbed the first tank top I found and slid it on before crawling onto the bed. He had laid down on his back with his arm covering his eyes. Well… Eye.
