I love Arrow cause you watch the first season thinking "wow, Oliver's being a brutal killer, he needs to tone it down", cause in the flashbacks he's literally learning to kill to survive and doesn't really have the stomach for it.
But then you get to season 5 and you see the flashbacks to Russia and you're like "oh shit he did tone it down", cause just one year before he was doing some serial killer shit and trying to dissociate away the blame for skinning a guy alive and keeping going when he gave up the info so he could practice it
And let's not forget the moment he has to tell a woman her children are both dead, and when she asks who did it he pauses because he's the one who killed them both and answers "a monster"
Also props to them for making Oliver just a bit of a psycho who likes killing people cause that's honestly realistic
This episode of Arrow is literally just torture and flashbacks, and the flashbacks are mostly shooting people. But it's episode 17, same as the musical episode, and now I'm just wondering what the experience would be like if you played corresponding episodes of all the shows at the same time.
Gunshots. Alien attacks. Crashing time ship. In the background, "I'm your super friend!"
Three days since he came back. Three days since that evil sonofabitch broke him. Three days since I last saw him.
It’s been three long and tired days, no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get the picture out of my head. All that blood. All those wounds. The worst of all were those eyes. Those eyes that used to have so much life, now were just…empty. No, not empty. There was something there. Something I never thought I would see in him. Defeat.
Three days ago,
“John, it’s…it’s over for me. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m shutting everything down.” Oliver says in a raspy voice. Looking at us with the most tired eyes I have ever seen.
I can’t let this happen. “Oliver, we don’t need to do that. We need to find him.” I try to tell him with my strongest voice. But I know its pointless. I can hardly recognize my voice due to all the emotions that is pouring in.
Oliver just looks at me. Right at me. Or is it through me, that’s what it feels like. Oh God, Those eyes…
“We have to Felicity. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep you guys here with the chance you might get hurt.”
“Oliver, you are not keeping us here dammit! We made this choice and we will not leave you!” John screams.
Oliver rushes to John and gets in his face. I can’t tell what might happen.
“Please don’t fight us on this Oliver.” I try to plead with him.
“I AM NOT GIVING YOU A CHOICE!”
I can’t move. I have never heard him yell like that. Not to anyone.
“I need you all to leave. I will pack up everything myself and give them to you later. Right now, get out.”
I don’t even know what is happening. I want to scream for him to stop. I want to cry out to him but I just can’t!
Oliver walks to the back of the bunker, leaving the two of us in total confusion.
Now here I am. Back in the bunker only three days later. I am done waiting. I am done giving him space. The last thing he needs is space.
At the bunker…
“Oliver? Are you here?”
I can hardly see anything. Everything looks so plain. I guess he was telling the truth, he wants it to be over. Well I will not let this happen.
There he is, I would think he was sleeping if his back wasn’t so tense.
“Oh God”. His back is nothing but black and blue marks. Don’t cry Felicity, don’t cry. He needs you to be strong. You have seen him look worse right? Oh god.
“I am going to take care of you” I whisper quietly. Why whisper? He can’t shut me out. I won’t let him.
“Oliver.” Nothing. Maybe a little louder.
“Oliver, please talk to us.”
“Go. Away.” So he is awake.
“No.” I won’t let him push me away.
“Felicity, please leave.”
“No, I will not leave you until you talk to me. I need to know that you are ok”
Before I knew what was happening, he was on his feet towering over me.
Those eyes.
“I said get out, Felicity!”
Those eyes. So full of pain.
“I will not let you drown down here Oliver. I will not leave you!” Why can’t he see how much it hurts to see him like this.
I can’t stop shaking but I can’t let him see me back down. Not when he needs me the most.
“I can’t drown Felicity, because I am already dead.” His voice is so deep and low, I could hardly hear him. Completely void of anything.
“You are not dead Oliver. Please don’t do this. I know he did some terrible things to you. I know he tried to break you. But you are stronger than him.”
For a split-second I almost see a spark in those eyes.
“Strong?” He says with a dry laugh, “I am not strong. I have never been strong. And he didn’t do anything to me that I hadn’t done to someone else. I finally got my piece of the torture.”
He starts walking around. He refuses to look at her anymore.
He can’t even look me in the eyes anymore. What is going on behind those beautiful eyes of yours Oliver?
“Do you know want to know what he made me confess?” He asks. Again with the dry laugh in his voice.
Why is he laughing?
“He wanted me to confess that I didn’t kill because I had to. I killed because I wanted to. Because I liked it.” He starts to talk in a low voice.
He is just spacing out. Looking out into the bunker. Not sure at what or why.
“You know what Felicity? I did. I did like it. Maybe not now, but I did. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the chase. I enjoyed the feeling of such adrenalin going through my body. I had never felt more alive than in the moment I took someone’s last breath.”
I don't even know what to say. Yes I am shocked, but I don't know why. I know him. I know all of him even if he doesn't realize it.
“So that’s it Felicity. Everyone was right about me. I am a monster. Which is why I need you to leave. Stop wasting your time on me.”
I am a monster.
My heart breaks at those words.
“You are NOT a monster Oliver! Just because some big bad decides to call you a monster, you believe him?”
“Felicity, plea..”
“NO! I can’t just walk away when you are believing in such craziness. That is what this is. Crazy. Oliver, You are believing a guy who murdered his own wife. He is evil! And you are so good! Yes, I know you have killed. I also know, those people were bad! You did what you had to, to protect this city. To protect your family and friends. That does not make you a monster! That makes you a hero!”
“Please Felicity, just let me be strong this once. Let me walk away”
“Strong is FIGHTING! It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s everyday! It is what we have to do and we can do this together.* You and John and myself are in this together. You don’t have to do this alone.”
I can see he is starting to feel something.
Those eyes are becoming softer as my words pour out.
“I know you did some questionable things in the past. But that doesn’t mean you give up. It means you can make amends. You can do real good Oliver. You can become someone else. “
“Felicity…”
Say it Oliver, please.
“Thank you”
I look at his eyes. And for the first time in days, I see life. I know it’s not over. I know he will need me to remind him that he is strong, and I will gladly remind him every day that he is the strongest man I know. I am completely ok with that. Knowing those eyes will stay strong and full of life is all I need to be happy.
