#katkun1

[copperbadge]

rsfcommonplace replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Depends on the benefits. If it means switching medical it better be a very fat raise.

Oh lord, fortunately I won’t have to -- the new place has the same PPO option as where I am now. No dental, but the raise would offset the higher dental cost, at least. 

amairawrites replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Do you want to stay in an organization that tolerates a toxic environment for long enough that people are looking to leave because of it? Even if the other departments are better, the one being a problem for so long is not a good sign.

Well, that’s the thing -- it’s been a problem for such a short amount of time, relative to how long I’ve been there. It’s been a great place to work for ten years -- it’s just in the past ten months that things have gone downhill, and it’s almost entirely due to two specific people becoming managers. Then again, I’ve thought about how, if I had the power, I would fix what happened, and I honestly don’t see a good way out of it even if I was empowered to fix it. Too much has changed.  

stripedsilverfeline replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Get out of the toxic environment! Life is short and you already know it's not good there; don't count on it getting better or on outlasting the toxic boss. Free yourself. Do something new and fresh and a lot less stress-making. And that was my unwanted advice, sorry!

LOL well it’s good to have anyway! That’s what I’m leaning towards -- that the anxiety of the unknown is better than knowing I’ll be anxious every day in the place I’m in now. 

selkieinthesea replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

�������� I think these are hugs? I’m trying to send you hugs, not sure if it’s working, but I’m giving it my best shot! Good luck with whichever you choose!

They show up as boxes for me but I accept them as hugs anyway! BOXY HUGS. :D Thank you for the luck. 

daroos replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

*hugs* Dude if you need someone to objectively do the pro con talk with I'm always open

I might do some form of stream tomorrow to talk it out with people. I still have to make my pro-con list. I’m probably going to treat myself to a hamburger while I do it so that I’ll actually do it. :D

katkun1 replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Make a decision and live with it for a few hours and see how it feels.

That’s really great advice, and it’s something I’ve been doing a bit. I think about leaving, and what that would mean, and what would change and what I’d lose, and then I think about staying and what that would mean, and what I wouldn’t be able to escape if I’d stayed. 

Yesterday, because I was working from home and not as accountable for being productive, I went through all my work archives, all the files on my network drive, on our cloud drive, and on my hard drive, and I sorted out what could be deleted, what I would want to take with me when I left (nothing confidential, just helpful information), and what I would need to leave for my successor. I went through my project management app and figured out what I’d have to complete and what I’d have to hand off. And the feeling of relief at the idea of not having to do some of those things was really bone-deep. But at the same time, there would be new challenges, totally unknown ones, and lots of new work at the new place, so I’ve got to balance it -- treat it as a reality, not a fantasy.

But man did it feel good to clean and organize my files as if I was leaving. To be able to make all the bullshit someone else’s problem. 

spaci1701 replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Is there someone above your department you could take it to? Tell them you've received another offer and that, though you feel a lot of loyalty to the organization, you're not sure that the mental health toll of the current environment is worth waiting to see what happens? It might push up your possible future promotion or at least get it guaranteed. A fixed date would do wonders for your stress level. And it might even kick them into dealing with the toxic-ness.

I wish, honestly. The problem is that the two departments -- the one I’m in now and the one I’d be promoted into -- are the same functionary office for two different divisions of the company, so they’re not overseen by the same people. It would be almost like changing companies completely. So there is one person, theoretically, who oversees both, but they are SO high up that they don’t deal in employment issues. And it’s two separate HR departments as well, so I can’t go to their HR department and be like “Hey please list this job sooner so I can apply and get hired.” 

Department two does hate department one’s manager, which is a point in their favor, they just...can’t do anything about it, because they’re so highly separated. 

grrlcookery replied to your post “Me: so should I stick with the job I have now and know exactly how to...”

Whichever choice you make - and it's not easy - we will also always -<3 you

Aww, thank you. That’s the kind of thing I need to remember when I get over-anxious about decisions like this, that it is not actually life and death, I will have friends and family and survive and be able to pay my mortgage regardless.

[kaijutegu]

I told him your very sensible response (best lizard for a 10 year old boy) and he didn’t go for it. He wants a bearded dragon :(. If he gets one, I want it to be the happiest bearded dragon in the world - I understand they need a really big terrarium? I think they don’t smell if you make sure to clean up after them regularly and they can enjoy baths also? I am a bit horrified by the number of crickets they apparently eat...?

Ahahaha, beardies. I love them, but my god do they stink. Their poop is the worst of any reptile I’ve ever owned, including the 3.5 foot scavenger. They need at least a 40 gallon breeder tank, but larger is much, much better. Animal Plastics makes some really nice cages, but beardies are actually really into climbing (you see them in trees and on fence posts in the wild), so they need some height and climbing opportunities as well as footprint. If I was gonna get another beardie, I’d probably shell out for an A35- at bare minimum, I’d use a T12. They get overweight pretty easily and if you give them the space, they will use it. As far as soaking them goes, they don’t need it, but sometimes it’s the only way to get the caked-on poop off of them. They’re cute, but they’re a lot of work. But it’s doable- there’s a reason they’re popular pets! 

If he’s dead-set on a beardie, make sure you don’t get a baby. They’re so fragile and many don’t survive their first year. Also make sure to not get one from a pet store- Petsmart (and possibly Petco) get their bearded dragons from breeders with known adenovirus in their stock. Adenovirus is nasty, and usually fatal. Also, check your local reptile rescue, if you have one- bearded dragons are frequently surrendered, and you might be able to get a nice adult that way.  

Adults need plants as well as insects- I actually recommend not going with crickets (they smell awful and are good at escaping) and instead if you can, using dubia roaches. I actually breed my own roaches- it’s really easy- but it squicks out a LOT of people because they’re still roaches and people tend to be turned off by those. Beardie salads need to have greens, veggies, fruit sometimes- here is a list of the stuff that’s safe for them! You might want to have him practice making “menus” and planning a beardie’s meals for a couple of weeks before getting one- that might show him some of the work that goes into it, and also be a nice trial run before actually bringing an animal home.

Beardies also need pretty high basking temperatures and UVB- I recommend mercury vapor bulbs, personally. They get nice and hot and last longer than UVB tubes. 

Good luck!

[leupagus]

katkun1

reblogged

your post:

winterlive: cherryseltzer: actingnt: ...

#leupagus I just couldn’t read this and not send virtual hugs and best wishes for you and your dad.

#leupagus

#heart

That is incredibly, incredibly sweet, and thank you so much for that, but honestly? I’m doing really well. We are mind-bogglingly lucky that we’re in a financial position where I can take care of my dad without worrying about money, and we have a good house and great neighbors and dogs that keep my dad entertained pretty reliably. My life is by no means anything to... IDK, worry about.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be hard and it will get harder; my dad’s condition means that eventually he won’t recognize me, his moods will turn sour and unpredictable, and eventually he won’t be able to bathe or dress or feed himself, and I’m going to be there for all of that. And that’s tough. But I did a lot of reading and a lot of thinking about it and I went into this with my eyes wide open. I wouldn’t change anything.

One thing that does worry me, though, is that my generation and those younger than me haven’t really, truly faced is the reality that this is probably gonna happen to you, too. Dementia and cognitive disfunction affect most seniors past the age of 75 or 80, so if your parents live for a good long time, chances are you’re going to have to decide if you’re going to take care of them yourself or if you’re going to find a place that will care for them. And neither choice is easy. And as far as I know none of my friends have had this talk with their folks, despite watching me deal with my dad. 

So maybe I’ll take this opportunity to advise all my beautiful people reading this: talk to your parents, and your grandparents. Talk to your aunts and uncles and relatives who don’t have offspring who can care for them in their old age. Find out if they have a living will, if they’re DNR, if they’re organ donors, if they want to stay with you when they get old, if they want to go to a nursing facility near you or near a relative. Find out what kind of resources they have squared away and what you can contribute—because odds are you will have to contribute in some way to their care. Start these conversations now, even if your parents are only in their 50s, or 40s, or 30s. Even if you think you’re way too young to talk about this, you still have to talk about this. 

Because I watched my mom die, and I now take care of my dad who can’t turn on the TV without help, and I didn’t get a choice about when either of those things happened. You won’t, either.

[kaijutegu]

What would be a good lizard for a ten year old boy? It is ok if the answer is none :). He has been asking for a year, was pretty good at taking care of a fish though honestly that was mostly on me. So maybe not so good at taking care of a fish.... We do vacation a couple of times a year but could have someone come in when we are away.

So long as you’re down with the care, I’d say crested gecko! The food’s real easy and a ten-year-old could definitely handle making it- it’s just mixing up a powder with water. They’re pretty low maintenance and the maintenance is... hm, how to phrase it. Most of the maintenance tasks are definitely within the realm of what a ten-year-old could take on as a chore or responsibility. Like when I was a kid and had animals, my dad did a lot of the heavy lifting- with the fish, he cleaned the tank and did all the siphon work, because asking a kid to do that and have sole responsibility is a bit much. But the maintenance tasks for a crestie would be food/water (easy to do), spray down the tank (also pretty easy, you can use a spray bottle or a pump sprayer), and cage cleaning (which you’d probably need to help with). I think that so long as you were involved, it’d be a good experience for all involved, and that deffo includes the lizard!

[sixth-light]

I found you because of your Rivers of London meta. I'm rereading, and got very confused by something. Figured I might ask you what you thought, as I don't know anyone in the tiny fandom.... Peter used all his savings to buy the tribute for Mother Thames, but in the next book, he says... -but even with my healthy finances it just wasn't going to happen. (P144, re getting a hotel room). Some source of money that I'm not thinking of? Or just savings mounting up because he doesn't pay rent?

I think this is an excellent example of Peter’s in-narrative sarcasm, which can be hard to detect without more context (the audiobooks are helpful in this regard). He probably does save quite a bit of money, since he doesn’t seem to pay rent at the Folly and before that he lived at the Charing Cross stationhouse which was also cheap. The evidence of this is that he had the savings to spend propitiating Mama Thames. But even six months later in Broken Homes when his mother asks him for money to help get his dad’s teeth fixed he cites the Mama Thames thing as a reason he doesn’t have a lot of spare cash right then, so basically: grade-A British sarcasm in action. (Also, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to book a hotel room in London or any other ‘world city’ on short notice but they are very, very, very expensive anywhere central and/or semi-nice.) 

Also - welcome to the tiny fandom!