shinji had dream of kaworu before he meets him, ends up stopping kaworu and dies.
Shinji Ikari dies - A 3.0 Fan Fic with illustrations
Fiction rating : M Genre : The angsty kind
Pair : Kaworu Nagisa X Shinji Ikari
Shinji Ikari has an ominous dream.The dream is very much real to him , and it’s events seem to uncover and trigger emotions he does not remember feeling before.
He sees events at random but the most prominent ‘memories’ recovered are those about Ayanamis identity and Kaworu’s existance and loss.
He sees that he will pilot but also that he will somehow be at fault for kill him, that he will feel tremendous amounts of pain ,he doesn’t know how or why.
Shinji then meets Kaworu, they become acquainted…
——————————————————————————————————— When Kaworu tells Shinji that he should pilot with him, Shinji refuses.
Kaworu observes a difference in the way he does so.
Kaworus repeating timeline experience tells him that Shinji is meant to react in doubt and panic so that he may take away Shinjis ‘sin’ and allow him to trust again.
Kaworu reaches for the choker, he kneels on the bed and softly approaches, his hands smoothly reaching out for Shinji’s neck .
In an instant , Kaworu feels a sharp pain on his hands. Shinji slapped him away
“Don’t touch it!”
Kaworu tries to explain.
Shinji cuts him off before he says more.
“How do you know it will come off?!”
“ Stay away.It could explode in your face.”
Actively avoiding any physical contact with Kaworu Shinji blocks off a second less gentle attempt to remove the choker.
Kaworu, stops . He thinks Shinji must dislike AND distrust him. He feels guilty for being so ready to touch him.He really just wants to pull the choker off of Shinji with force but cannot out of fear of being hated.
Overcome with sadness he leaves dejected.
The door closes behind him soon after, and just as it does so , Shinji cries.
He throws his SDAT on the wall while acting out.
Kaworu, who is still outside, considering his course of action, hears it.
Astonished by the sound of the SDAT crushing , the SDAT he worked hard to fix for Shinji, brings him to tears.
He clenches his teeth and fists and runs as he weeps.
Shinji hears that and calls out his name.
He also begins to cry, realizing what he has done to Kaworu.
Shinji is called by Gendo, Gendo who wants Kaworu to die and Shinji to pilot the robot.
Gendo questions what Shinji did.Shinji doesn’t say he saw the future instead he says he just has as a bad feeling.
Gendo dismisses him. He is useless to him.
Shinji frustrated calls him out on Rei’s cruel cloning after his mothers likeliness.
Gendo side glances at Fuyutsuki.
Meanwhile, Kaworu broken hearted as he is, is shaking watching the meeting from afar.
Gendo is quick to notice his presence and dryly calls him out.
Kaworu hesitantly approaches.
“Take it off of him” Gendo commands.
Kaworu lets out an unintentional shiver.
He reaches out reflectively to Shinji.
Shinji flinches at his touch and shoves him off.He runs away saying
“you don’t understand ! This is MY sin and my sin alone! ”
Gendo lets him go, speechless.
Kaworu’s eyes widen in surprise. He just noticed, they never had the talk.
He should not know of what had happened with the world after he went to a cryogenic state for 14 years.
Kaworu is about to sprint after him but Gendo tells him from his high throne that he should know his place and that he is only allowed to live this long working for NERV because its SEELES demand to assist and observe.
Gendo calls Kaworu on his counterproductivity .
Kaworu bows down and apologizes, cold sweat and a clenching sensation in his neck.
He proceeds to go to his room slowly.From the shadows, Shinji watches him…
———————————————————————————————————
Kaworu softly knocks on the door,as though trying to erase the fact that he was doing so.
Shinji notices through his headphones.He happens to do so because his track 25 had just switched to track 26.
He stands up and slowly approaches the door.
As he opens it slightly , he exclaims with an annoyed expression
“I refuse to - ”
He stops as he sees Kaworus’ face.
A face full of worry, dilated pupils, dried out lips and dark circles under his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he had run there by masking his heavy breathing with faint panting noises giving him away.
“Please” he begs
“Please, allow me to remove this” he peeps at the choker.
“No.”
“Please ! Shinji kun ! … it’s, it’s the only way … to get you to, trust me. ”
Shinji’s eyes widen and he turns to connect eyes with Kaworu properly for the first time.
“I - I trust you … Nagisa-kun”
“ Then , Please ” he inhales
“Let me”
He reaches out , arms shaking.
Shinji is caught off guard out of bewilderment and allows Kaworu enough time to caress his necks back hair as he is about to undo the choker.
In an instant, Shinji grabs his hands and brings them down to his chest.
“ I - I trust that you will not fail me! ”
Kaworu aghast by the sudden reaction is left with a heavy beating heart that can be heard out of his chest, he is positive that Shinji can hear it ,
“I will pilot ” Shinji declares.
Kaworu lets out a soft gasp, “T-Then!” he steps closer.
“N-no. I’m not letting you take on my sins”
Kaworu is dismayed.There it is again , he thinks to himself.He chooses not to adress it at the moment, he is currently interested in removing the choker as soon as possible.
“…I see. You must trust me as an ally… but not as your friend..”
He says as he turns away.Shinji manages to catch a pained distorted expression on Kaworu’s face, one that is too troubled to be that of a friend he just made.
——————————————————————————————
They are now in the organic mecha.
Commence !
Evangelion 13 !
Shinji has the choker on still.
Kaworu’s worry causes him to be hyper aware and he begins to overanalyze his surroundings.
He understands that Shinji knows something but his knowledge does not correlate with his own repeated timeline.
Kaworu attempts to break the mystery as they pilot down to the dogma.
Maybe Shinji being a vessel of Adam has caused him such knowledge?
But how? He is not a true successor but a pseudo evolved…
——————————————————————————————
Liliths giant headless corpse is in view, Kaworu notices the spears early on however like before, Shinji does not listen to Kaworu’s cries and pulls them believing he can save everyone.
What Shinji is thinking however this time is different from his previous selves… Shinji recalls being called out by Kaworu on stopping the pull, Shinji does not recall pulling them so he believes that he now must ignore Kaworu’s pleas in order to prevent Kaworus later death.
As Shinji pulls them out, Kaworu immediately begins to scream in extreme uncharacteristic anguish.
He is now the last angel yet again, and Shinji for the very first time is on death row.Shinji will have to die.
And Kaworu blames none other than himself for it.
——————————————————————————————-
As the pure white Eva 13 flies up high towards the doors of Guf
Kaworu gets off of his seat and hastily uses his powers to blow out his own entry plug.
Meanwhile, Shinji panics in the darkness of his own.He can only make out rapid moving static in his field of vision and the reflective light of the activated choker on the surrounding walls.
He can tell he will be dying alone.He can’t even see him anymore, his connection is blacked out.
Loud noise comes from the outside.
Kaworu smashes open the top of the entry plug Shinji is in with his powers
Shinji, who is currently having a mental breakdown, is pulled out in a rush by Kaworu.
He holds on tightly to his hand and pulls him close in a solid embrace.
They are now free falling from the rainbow infested ringed sky.
Kaworu frantically tries to make Shinji arch his neck up so he can pull at the choker.
However it is too late to deactivate the runes on it and in a few seconds…
Kaworu acknowledging the inevitability of what is about to occur to his beloved is breaking, showing for the first time in any previous life, the face of utter and complete hopelessness.
As he clings on to Shinji while they fall he mourns with heavy tears, crossed brows, and a gaping downcast mouth.
Shinji meets his eyes as he turns up to see him one last time.
His eyes serene, such warmth.
a good ending.
happiness.
He closes his eyes with a tearful smile that resembles the one he made during a previous instrumentality..
In no time, Kaworu finds himself thrusted away in the last minute.
Kaworu wide eyed howls and reaches out.Blood splatters over him.
Forlorn,
he is left soaking wet with blood in a similar fashion he did when he lost his own head.
—————————————————————————————–
Soon Asuka and Mari come to “clean up” as he is the last angel now and his survival is a hazard to all other life.
They find him in bereavement , shaking, afraid, alone.
They loom over him with looks of superiority mixed with pity.
Asuka is quick to focus on the direction Kaworu is still blankily staring at.
She begins to cry angrily, her shoulders shaking, her hands in fists.
Mari is silently observing the angel still.
Her gaze is looking unforgiving as she pulls him up by the collar and inquires
“Spill it out,”
“What was it that made you so positive this wouldn’t have happened ?”
“What made you think failure was impossible, so much so that you are shocked out of your wits in such a state?”
Kaworu convulsing, the taste of blood in his mouth and the strong sent of iron in his nostrils looks up and smiles.
The smile is then crooked and his face becomes rapidly anamorphic as he tries to keep the deadpan expression up but it declines.
He squints and his face just breaks again, tormented he begins an inconsolable sobbing feat.
Asuka, that was mourning to this point herself, turns around with eyes burning to look.
