(obviously done in the style of Eldena Doubleca5t’s “what your favorite ___ ship says about you” videos over on yewchoob)
gobblepot (jim gordon/oswald cobblepot): your ideal relationship dynamic is batman/catwoman, but you don't think the ACTUAL batman and catwoman on this show fight one another Enough
nygmobblepot (ed nygma/oswald cobblepot): you don't understand how anyone could watch this show for jim gordon. gotham is about the villains!
jimlee (jim gordon/leslie thompkins): either you think it's cute that ben and morena are married in real life, or you are the most vanilla bitch on the planet. either way, you are heterosexual.
kringma (kristen kringle/ed nygma): you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the Dogged Nice Guy trope
gordlock (jim gordon/harvey bullock): you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of buddy cop comedies
gordorrance (jim gordon/eduardo dorrance): you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the military industrial complex.
nygmakins (ed nygma/leslie thompkins): you are a firm believer in Men! Getting! Pegged!
moonlock (fish mooney/harvey bullock): you either have a debilitating addiction to milfs, or a debilitating addiction to Scruffy Men Trying Their Best.
fishliza (fish mooney/liza): you definitely have a debilitating addiction to milfs, and you are also a lesbian.
fishpenguin (fish mooney/oswald cobblepot): your addiction to milfs got so bad that it outweighed your interest in acknowledging oswald’s canonical sexuality. also, you’re into femdom.
falcobblepot (sofia falcone/oswald cobblepot): same joke as fishpenguin, but your interest in milfs is outweighed by your interest in selfcest.
moonzean (fish mooney/butch gilzean): your ideal relationship dynamic is yzma and kronk
keantoya (barbara kean/renee montoya): you're always a slut for characters written out of the show in season one
jimvale (jim gordon/valerie vale): you just want good things for valerie--and really, who wouldn't?
gordworth (jim gordon/alfred pennyworth): i can't say for sure you want to fuck dads, but you definitely want to fuck father figures.
edsabella (ed nygma/isabella): you just want good things for ed--and really... why?
jeromewald (jerome valeska/oswald cobblepot): your interaction with fandom consists solely of reading and writing hurt/no comfort fics.
riddlergordon (ed nygma/jim gordon): you think gotham peaked when ed gave jim a long goodbye hug in 1x10
babitha (barbara kean/tabitha galavan): you have yet to forgive gotham writers for not letting barbara and tabitha kiss at the end of 4x19.
galzean (butch gilzean/tabitha galavan): you are heterosexual.
baby batcat (bruce wayne/selina kyle): you don't know why anyone would mess around with a mutually toxic hatefuck relationship when there's a perfectly good childhood friends to lovers dynamic right there
baby batjokes (bruce wayne/either valeska brother): you don't know why anyone would care about a childhood friends to lovers dynamic when there's a perfectly good mutually toxic hatefuck relationship to mess around with
valeyne (jerome valeska/bruce wayne): you are still chasing the high you felt watching the dark knight for the first time in 2008
wayleska (jeremiah valeska/bruce wayne): your ideal high school romance is nerd/goth
foxma (lucius fox/ed nygma): your ideal highschool romance is nerd/nerd
jimbabs (jim gordon/barbara kean): your ideal high school romance is prep/prep. also, you’re still upset about the way season 5 handled the pregnancy arc.
thompkean (leslie thompkins/barbara kean): your ideal relationship dynamic is that series of stock images where the guy is caught looking at another girl while he's with his girlfriend but things progress until the two girls end up getting married to each other instead.
falcordon (sofia falcone/jim gordon): this is just the same joke as gobblepot, but you are also heterosexual.
freezewald (victor fries/oswald cobblepot): you just want good things for oswald--and really, who wouldn't?
zsaszlepot (victor zsasz/oswald cobblepot): you actually like most if not all of the oswald ships on this list, but zsasz happens to be your favorite spoke on the fandom bicycle.
hattercrow (jervis tetch/jonathan crane): you don't understand what everyone’s complaining about--honestly, gotham peaked in season four. (also the obligatory FBI OPEN UP clip because jonathan is A Child)
scarebat (jonathan crane/bruce wayne): your interest in bruce wayne's existing relationships is outweighed by your interest in Edgy Boys
eccomiah (jeremiah valeska/ecco): you really just want to date jeremiah, but you have too much self-respect to write canon character/[Y/N] fic.
alvarzsasz (carlos alvarez/victor zsasz): you're a sucker for characters who are in Desperate Need Of More Screentime
ivycat (ivy pepper/selina kyle): your ideal relationship dynamic is girls being friends... gals being pals.
eccoivy (ecco/ivy pepper): you are a lesbian who came to gotham after reading batman comics. you are also stronger than any us marine, and quite possibly in the wrong fandom.
