#keepnightvaleweird

[nospaceofregret]

talk about us?~ [knvw]

What they define their relationship with your muse as: Vaguely antagonistic?

Something they like about your muse: Persistence.

Something they dislike about your muse: I faintly recall you were a bother at some point.

Their first impression of your muse: Honestly, I don’t remember. I never met any of you in person, so of course I never paid you much mind.

Their impression of your muse now: I hardly think of you lot anymore. I’d nearly forgotten you existed.

How they feel about your muse: Indifferent.

Something they are hiding from your muse: Nothing.

Something they wish they could to tell your muse: Nothing.

[ataleoftwotowns]

Notes From Council Meeting 19 9/10

That treacherous group, Keep Night Vale Weird, has not yet been captured by the Secret Police. We ask any citizen with information on these troublemakers to please come forward. Remember, the reward for information leading to the capture of Keep Night Vale Weird is lifetime stop sign immunity. We actively encourage angry mobs and/or witch hunts, so long as they are directed at Keep Night Vale Weird and not at the city council.

In honor of the first annual “Children’s Week,” kids now control the laws, the shops, and our sanity. They have decided that their first act is going to be depriving the adults of caffeine in return for “the years of sugar deprivation that have amounted to decreased levels of energy”. Coffee, tea, soda, caffeine pills, and any other supplements are now banned and all adults have an enforced curfew of seven pm and bedtime of nine. Any adult out past their curfew without a ‘child’s note’ will be escorted either home or to jail by the nearest SSP operative.

The children have also decided to cancel Street Cleaning Day for the seventh week in a row. Their reasons for doing so are unclear.

[ataleoftwotowns]

@keepnightvaleweird / @behindthebalaclava

A knvw operative is trying to keep their cool and maybe wheedle a little bit of information out of the police.

[corruptedcarlos]

A sizable eggplant has appeared on a lab table; a hole big enough for a cup has been cut out of it, and a suitable cup fitted into it. The eggplant itself growls softly--though dully, as if asleep--and the cup is full of something warm. A note is attached: "Autumnal espresso variant, featuring cloved cucurbita pepo cultivar. Perhaps now's as good a time as any for a more private discussion? -- knvw, with all of our strange love <3"

With an exhausted demeanor, Carlos took his time as he slipped back into his office. Hair a mess more than usual and dark circles under his eyes, it was with a delayed response that the scientist took heed of the note. Plopping himself down into his chair, he carefully took hold of the eggplant. While the tantalizing scent of the drink ensnared him, a sleep deprived decision had him attempt to drink the eggplant.

“-sure. Yeah, why not?” he groaned, absently holding the vegetable against his face as he was so painfully rejected of the sweet liquid due to his own state. “Let’s, ah. Let’s um, do this-”

[nospaceofregret]

So, how are you settling in, Ms. Hamilton? Seems like the library's a lot more hospitable than whatever desk you were wilting on. -- with all of our strange love <3

It’s. . . alright. Certainly free of ghastly people threatening my well-being. I suppose I owe you my thanks.

Still wilting, though, I’m afraid.

[themathisoncollective]

[the edges are a bit charred, but just a piece of a paper] we heard something... hatched? ~ knvw

Jim stared at the note, then glanced toward his workroom where the goddamn owl sill sat on the table.

Yeah, no, he wasn’t going in there. They could get their answer in a normal, non-magical way.

Except…

He stuck his head into the workroom. Was the thing even still working? Only one way to find out, he supposed.

"Uh. Do you know anything about taking care of giant moths?"

[themathisoncollective]

-wedged in a hole in a particularly tough cabbage- to answer your questions: we are Keep Night Vale Weird, and you would be amazed what you can do with a little extra know-how and arcane magic. ~ with all of our strange love <3

Jim pried the message out of the cabbage and read it over, a frown forming on his face. He’d heard of Keep Night Vale Weird from Sara, and trusted her opinion that they meant no harm, but the content of their note irked him.

"Magic," he grumbled, wadding up the bit of paper and chucking it forcefully into the trashcan under his desk. "Of course. All these weirdos and their damn magic, wreaking havoc with my tech."

He considered what to do with the cabbage. He could dispose of it with his new flamethrower, which would definitely make him feel better, but he’d have to wait until he was allowed to go back to the tech labs. As he settled in to wait, his neighbor in the next cubicle over started up again with her annoying, nasally giggle.

Jim looked at the cabbage again and grinned mischievously before tossing it over the divider. He was rewarded with a yelp of surprise and a string of curses. 

[nospaceofregret]

Public Relations - Involuntary Leave of Absence, Angels, and Dark Planets

This week's video is. . . a bit different than usual.

I hope I answered all of your questions in a satisfactory manner!

Send me more here or at [email protected]!

((Special thanks to keepnightvaleweird, thestrexfiles, and special mention to strextech. And yes, it's long, but please watch it to the end as there are SPECIAL GUESTS and it gets a bit weird.))