She Was My Mother - Poe Dameron
Summary: After the war, you discover a hard copy recording in an old ship. You take it to Yavin 4, to put directly into the hands of General Dameron.
wc: ~2k, gn! reader content: angsty with a happy ending, fluff adjacent, friends/comrades to lovers, discussion of mothers who've passed
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Your boots hit the jungle floor as soon as you land on Yavin 4. You haven’t bothered with a space port, instead acquiring permission to approach the edge of General Dameron’s property. He’s expecting your urgent communique.
Your team has traveled all over the Outer Rim territories since the war ended, gathering intel and supplies, discarded items, anything at abandoned posts, and any weapons locals haven’t taken for themselves. The purpose is twofold. War has ravaged the galaxy for the past few generations and supplies are controlled or limited. Every piece of scrap metal could mean survival if this were to happen again. The second reason is to gather intel. Hopefully, history’s mistakes might not be repeated if everyone understands a clear picture of what has gone wrong.
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You joined the Resistance late in the game, so although you knew General Dameron personally, you weren’t always a part of his inner circle. It was probably for the best because you felt an instant, flaring and almost consuming attraction to him, and not only that - a bond. Both of you lost your mothers at a young age. Both of them were pilots, which inspired both of you to become pilots.
Probably not an entirely uncommon occurrence, but once, when you noticed a ring hanging from a chain around his neck, your hand clutched your mother’s own necklace. You showed your trinket to him, saying, “This was my mother’s. Yours is beautiful.”
After he shared the story of his mother’s ring with you, the bond was set.
Still, you kept a respectable distance, since you were married. You certainly weren’t the only Resistance member who felt attraction to the General. And you were determined to remain loyal to your husband, despite the struggles between you.
But none of that matters now.
You’ve found something that Poe needs to see and hear for himself.
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Humidity kisses your skin, making it slightly more difficult to breathe. Or maybe that's the anticipation of seeing General Dameron, who doesn't keep you waiting.
He steps out of his front door - you see his thick thigh before anything else. Then climbs down a ladder/stair contraption, giving you a nice view before pushing aside some gigantic leaves to reveal his face.
His smile brightens his eyes, making them crinkle at the corners as he grants you a wave.
You pick up the pace, almost feeling the urge to rush into his arms for a hug, but knowing it's not quite appropriate.
"General Dameron," you breathe as the two of you almost collide but restrain yourselves.
He greets you by name, suspended in brief indecision before he steps forward and pulls you into a quick hug.
That, along with the humidity, almost knocks the breath right out of you. Or maybe it's the way he looks. His hair is longer than usual, curls unruly in the tepid climate. The stubble on his chin is lazily kept. The linen of his shirt clings to his skin, the open V in the front almost scandalous, as is the nearly pointless thin material.
You wet your lips a few times, steadying yourself. Likely mistaking your response as thirst, he ushers you inside, acknowledging you must be tired and in need of refreshment.
You climb up into what might have been considered a gigantic play tree house on your world, but it's neatly furnished and miraculously seems to keep out most of the humidity and insects.
You deposit your gear beside a small, wicker looking table that seats four.
"All right if I shed this flight suit and freshen up?" You ask him and he directs you to the fresher.
When you emerge, he's serving something hot, which surprises you. He also sets out a pitcher of water and some sweet cakes.
"The tea is hot but, believe it or not, it helps repel insects," he tells you.
"Thank you so much, General."
"Poe, please," he corrects, smiling at you. "We know each other well enough, right? Besides," he waves his hand dismissively, "war's over. It's just me, so...Poe."
"Poe," you repeat, trying to forget how many times you thought about being on a first name basis with him.
Your eyes linger on his before flickering away, your cheeks heating like a teenager's. Hopefully you can get out of this without making a fool of yourself.
"How's your dad?" You begin, hoping small talk might clear the path to deliver the news you've brought, even though you and Poe have discussed how much you don't like small talk.
Poe smirks playfully, pouring the cups of tea. "He's great. We're actually at the edge of his property. I think he's happy to have me back."
"And how does it feel to be back?" You ask him, with a brief 'thank you' for the tea.
He nods slowly, contemplating his response. "I love being home, but...it's different. It's quiet."
"I figured you might be antsy," you laugh.
"Guilty," he chuckles, taking a sip of his own beverage.
"What about you? You've been busy, scavenging all around the galaxy."
"We are not scavengers," you defend, swatting him on the arm, which feels oddly comfortable for your superior officer. But you know he's joking. "It's tiring, but the work is fulfilling. We've found some amazing things."
"One of which you brought with you," he prompts, dark eyebrows lifted curiously.
"Yes," you quietly confirm.
"How's your husband?" He adds, realizing he's rushed you to your reason for being here and by doing so, likely hastened an end to a visit he's looked so forward to.
Your gaze drops to your tea, fingers fidgeting as you twist it around a few times. "He...he left me." You clear your throat awkwardly before sighing. "He was already gone right after Exegol."
"I'm...so sorry," Poe utters sincerely. Watching not only the hurt but the shame etched into your beautiful features sends a protective flare through his heart.
"It's okay," you weakly smile. "I think he was halfway out the door when I joined the Resistance. He just used my service as a way to blame me for abandoning him."
Poe's jaw clenches as judgment burns in his gaze. "You were doing something honorable. Something important. If he couldn't see that then..."
Your eyes meet his questioningly.
"Sorry, I shouldn't judge. I know it won't make you feel any better to hear my opinion, it's just..." He sighs heavily, hoping to change the subject soon. Anything to see you smile again.
"No...tell me," you say quietly, setting your tea down and giving him your full attention. "Because I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I did wrong."
Your eyes, so wide and pleading, coax him to continue. "Look, I don't know him. It's not my place, but you were so loyal to him. Do you know how many people wanted to... you know, but everyone wanted to respect that you were married. And then he just..." Threw you away. But Poe wouldn't say that part out loud.
He stops himself again scrubbing a hand over his stubble with a heavy sigh. "Shit...I'm just - I'm sorry. If he couldn't see who was right in front of him, then I don't know what's wrong with him."
You swallow thickly, your heart racing. "Thank you for saying that. I'm sure I played a part in it. But thank you anyway."
After a comfortable beat of silence, you reach for your bag to produce the item you came to bring Poe in the first place.
"Sorry for making this little visit about me," You sheepishly say, "when it's definitely about you."
"You didn't do that," Poe argues, reaching for your forearm. His fingers wrap around your bare skin and he gently squeezes. "We're friends. I wanted to know if you're okay. I missed you."
Your lip trembles, but you chomp down on it. "Me too. I missed you too." Clearing your throat, you thrust the item outward, asking him if he has the right equipment that you sent ahead in your communique, to play back a message on this old tech you found.
"We found this data recorder in an old ship - bucket of rust, really. All the metal was stripped and sold by locals," you explain. "This was a second, secret data recorder. The old one was long gone - officially logged. Whoever installed this one was either running spice or weapons, or top secret Rebel missions."
Poe's eyes snap up to yours. "Rebels? Really old then. Surprised they didn't find it sooner."
"Ship was an absolute piece of junk. Nothing of value left. But my team looks at everything that ever was anything. Found this, encrypted, and couldn't believe it when we got a voice match."
"A voice match from the Rebel Alliance?" Poe queries, completing the connection so you can listen to the message.
"Yeah," you confirm. "I didn't want to upset you or excite you before I could bring it to you personally, but the voice match is for Shara Bey."
Poe's lip trembles as he inhales sharply. "She was my mother."
"Yeah," you smile gently, reaching to squeeze his shoulder. "Play it."
Stretching out his fingers, Poe activates the device, almost wilting at the sound of his mother's voice.
"My love. We've landed in a trap. Our intel was wrong and the Imperial presence here has tripled since our last communication. As far as I know, we haven't been discovered, but we might be stuck here a while before we can find a way to safely blend in and start to plot our way off world. In the meantime, we'll try to undermine them however we can."
The voice on the recording sighs.
"You'll probably never hear this. If we make it out of here, you won't need to, and if we don't, it'll probably never fall into hands that will know to get it back to you. But hopefully, if this mission takes me away from you, you'll hear it someday and know how, right now, the only thing I want is to be home with you."
She sniffles before continuing.
"My love...I had to leave this message for you, praying it will find its way back to you if I do not. I have to tell someone. You're going to be a father. And I'm going to be a mother. I'm pregnant! Can you believe it? Can you actually believe it finally happened? Our miracle baby. Do you think it will be a boy or girl? I think it's a boy. I'm so scared. Can you believe I'm saying those words? Nothing has ever scared me so much. I already love it so much. And I love you. I love you."
By the time the message concludes, Poe's hand covers his mouth as tears roll down his cheeks.
You debate whether to give him his space or comfort him, but he turns a watery gaze to you. "I haven't heard her voice in so long."
His arms open and he pulls you in, tucking you gently against his body and burying his face in your hair. You squeeze his torso, rubbing your hands up and down his back soothingly.
His hold on you tightens, and he presses you closer into him as he feels you responding. He rubs his cheek against yours.
"Thank you for bringing her back to me," he breathes on your ear.
And even though he's having a moment, a shiver zings down your spine to your toes. "You're so welcome."
Easing back, he keeps hold of your arms, squeezing gently as he gazes into your eyes. "You didn't have to do this. But it means so much that you did."
"Of course I did, Poe. It's your mother." Your fingers reach for the chain around his neck, tracing the shape of it. "I think I understand at least a little of what she meant to you."
Swallowing thickly, he nods, reaching for your necklace in return. His fingertips brush along your collarbone before his hand slips up to cup your cheek tenderly.
"Do you have to return the recording right away?"
"Not right away," you tell him softly. "We made several copies before I brought you the original," you explain. "I have to return it to archives, but I wanted you to actually see it."
He nods understandingly. "Can you stay, at least for tonight? I want you to meet my dad. He would love to finally meet you and to thank you for bringing this here to us." His eyebrows shoot up hopefully.
Poe wants you to stay? Poe told his dad about you?
"Yes," you quickly nod, beaming. "Definitely, I would love to, Poe."
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Years later, with Shara's ring on your finger and your mother's necklace around your daughter's neck, you play your children the recording of their grandmother's voice, in a galaxy still at peace.
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