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Aug 18, 2022

Chapter 4 'shall I compare thee to a summer's day' for Sing, oh Muse, of the tragedy of James Bond is posted! (Ao3 link)

Summary: Q knew he was an intelligent man. But just because he was intelligent did not mean he was smart in everything. Especially love.

The first thing Q knew when he met the famed, and recently dead, agent James Bond - 007 was that he'll end up falling in love with him. The second thing Q knew, was that this love of his will only end in heartbreak for him.

And he was right, for both of them.

It started like this.

Q met first 007 at the museum in front of the painting and had a conversation where both threw digs at each other. Now, the digs weren't thrown with harsh venom, it was light with a slight competition of yes I can be more of a shit than you. But, it wasn't this moment that gave way to Q's first thought, that came after, when Silvia infiltrated their systems (his fault, completely his fault) and escaped and 007 chasing after him like a hunter with prey.

Watching him through the cameras, the focus he had, yet was still able to be that bit of an arsehole to Q through his earpiece was what made Q know that he would fall in love with him.

Q always had a weakness for smart snarky men who could be serious when necessary. It didn't hurt either that Bond was also probably one of the most attractive men he's ever met. Baring that one guy he met back at a party from his university days (who he swore now had looked similar to Bond). A coincidence surely.

Now, back to Bond. At first glance, sure, he was obviously attractive, especially in those bespoke suits of his, but it was when you spoke to him and really looked at him that you'd find yourself thinking, yes this is the most stunning man I have ever seen. It was the light glow he seemed to have, obviously coming from the tan he got during his 'death', and the calming warmth he seemed to bring with him wherever he was. It was his piercing blue eyes that felt like they saw everything that made you, you when he looked at you, but despite that, you couldn't bring yourself to look away, especially when he smiled.

Now, Q had only seen him smile once at this point, but that once was enough. It was a small smile yes, a slight quirk of the lips, but seeing it, seeing how it seemed to brighten his face made Q think of the sun coming out from behind a cloud, the instant warmth that would permeate the air. And if that was what a small smile made Q feel, what would a full one be like?

Now, the second thought came after the whole Silvia mess and M's (he still couldn't wrap his head around it) death. He never did find out why she only ever arrived and left work in the dark either.

When Bond came back into MI6, he looked practically dead, his face was expressionless and he seemed to just be going through motions of living, there was no life behind his actions. Whenever he came into a room, the temperature felt colder and the lights dimmer as if Bond in his state took and absorbed all that was warm and light in the world. But, that couldn't be true, obviously, no person could actually do that. It must just be Q empathising with his pain that made the rooms feel like that. Obviously.

But Q, seeing Bond like this, knew that this was a man headed towards his own destruction. Knew that whatever he felt for this man, if he let himself fall, was only going to lead to his own broken heart.

And Q didn't want to stop himself from falling.

-----------

All Q had left to do in his office was sign off and approve some papers and the mission report for what's now been titled as Skyfall before he could go home and toast a drink to himself in memory of her (she's gone, how could she be gone).

It was tedious but it must be done and the quicker he finishes the quicker he leaves. An out of character thing for him to want, yes, but today feels the exception.

Q read through the papers, talking of budgets and tests and whatnot, before he looked at the report on his computer. There wasn't anything more he needed to add to it, only to have a look over now as a second opinion.

It all looked to be in order, Q thought as he scrolled down the page but then he stopped. Right at the point at the times logged for when Bond made the call of agent down and when MI6 responded for clean up.

That wasn't right. Q pushed his glasses up and leaned closer to the screen, how could there have been a two hour difference between them? There should be no time difference at all, never mind two hours, that's impossible for any kind of mission. How could this have happ-

.......

......

.....

....

...What?

Q leaned back in his chair and shook his head. What had he been thinking about? He looked back at the screen, hoping it'll jog his memory, but no, there was nothing.

Q scrolled through the mission report again, and after finding no issues with it he emailed back his approval and turned off his computer. Time to head home for the night.

----------

Months pass, and the next year 2013 comes in where the whole of MI6 is finally moved into a brand new building. Day in and out, Q continues his routine. Going into work, ensuring each double-oh agent is equipped with the best weapons and devices he and others in his department have designed. Signing off and approving whatever needs his approval as department head and of course assisting in missions when necessary.

The other thing that's become part of his routine is Bond. Over the past few months, Bond became lighter, almost back to how he was before the cock up of a mission in Istanbul that lead to his 'death' according to those that knew him from before. It was a definite relief to everyone in the workplace as well, no one felt like they were on their deathbed by just having an accidental encounter with the grieving agent.

And the rooms no longer felt darker and colder with his presence. Also an unexplainable relief.

Now Bond would come into Q's office as Q worked to generally be a nuisance. After visiting for over three months and almost breaking a gadget still in development for the hundredth time, Q had had enough. No matter how much Q secretly enjoyed these visits and the attention Bond showed him, he could not deal with this anymore.

"Right, that's it." Q said slamming his hands on the table and standing from his chair. Bond, who was wearing a very lovely silver suit, looked over at him with a very innocent expression on his face while holding a broken object that may or may not be the latest surveillance equipment still in development.

"Yes, Q?" Bond replied, as he delicately placed the now broken object down where he got it, nudging it together to make it appear whole as if he never touched it in the first place. Infuriating man, why his heart skips a beat whenever he sees him, he'll never understand (he absolutely understands).

"Come with me, Bond." Q ordered as he grabbed a tablet and marched out of his office, hearing Bond on his tail.

Q came to a stop in front of the lifts and pressed the down button. Bond appeared by his side a second after he pressed the button and Q knew it was killing the agent to not know exactly what was happening.

"Where are you taking me then?" Bond finally asked as the lift opened and they both walked in.

Q swiped his security card and hit the button for the Q branch R&D floor and responded, "you'll see."

Q's eyes looked to the side to see Bond's reaction and found the agent staring straight at the button he'd just pressed, delight shinning in those wonderful blue eyes before he found himself under that powerful blue gaze.

"Really?" Asked Bond, excitement threaded through his voice.

Q had to take a minute to compose himself before he replied. Having Bond looking at him and speaking like that made Q want to tell this man that he'd give him everything he's ever wanted if he only asked.

"I told you, Bond. You'll see," Q made himself reply after clearing his throat and hoped Bond didn't notice slight reddening of his cheeks.

What is he kidding, Bond is a double-oh spy, of course he noticed. Now it's just to hope that Bond doesn't read to much into it or take advantage.

The lift thankfully opened and Q quickly walked out with Bond, now keeping pace with him.

Q led Bond to the area they keep the experimental guns.

"Choose any five," Q told Bond and went to grab a cart, "we'll take them to the shooting range for you to test for me," he called out.

There was any audible reply and when Q came back with a cart he found Bond carefully placing a gun he chose on a nearby table with four others. Now was it just him, or did the room seem just a little brighter?

Shaking that thought away, Q had a look at the guns now on the table, "these five then?" and marked them off on his tablet.

Bond nodded beside him, the man was almost bouncing on his feet, his eyes focused on the guns. There was a vibrancy to him that Q hadn't seen before, his blond hair gleamed gold and his blue eyes were a brilliant piercing blue, and, was he? Q squinted his eyes and poked Bond on the cheek, was he actually glowing?

At the poke Bond snapped his head to Q with a look of extreme confusion and took in Q's expression, "are you alright Q?" he asked.

Q realising what he did quickly droped his hand and wiped it on his trousers, "right, yes, well," he said, flustered as all hell and quickly gathered the guns into the cart before rushing off to get the necessary ammunition, his cheeks prickling with heat.

Coming back Q saw Bond standing where he left him staring at Q, still looking puzzled. Q placed the ammunition boxes on the cart and cleared his throat. Then, grabbing the cart he pushed it to the lifts, "let's go then," he said absolutely not looking back at Bond.

Q pressed the up button and waited, avoiding looking at Bond whose eyes he could feel boring into him. Why did he have to do that? There is no coming back from that, no escape. Fuck.

The lift finally came and Q and Bond both went in. Q swiped his card again and pressed the button for the level the shooting range was on, doing his best to ignore Bond's look.

There was a huff of breath that came from Bond, "you're just going to ignore that happened aren't you, Q?" He said, voice filled with amusement.

Q finally looked at him, refusing to be distracted by how attractive he looked with that slight smirk and eyes filled with delight, he replied simply with "yes."

Bond's lips quirked up a little higher, "alright then," and at last looked away from Q. Bond looked normal now, too. Odd.

The lift opened to their floor, thankfully not stopping at any other and making this trip longer. Pushing the cart in front of him, Q entered the shooting range and looked for an empty shooting bay area the furthest away from everyone else in the range.

Seeing one on the other side of the room, he led Bond to it. Reaching it, he found the sound from the guns in use wasn't too loud that he and Bond wouldn't be able to hear each other. Q put the cart to the wall and had the paper target replaced with a realistic ballistic gel dummy. Pulling up the appropriate file on his tablet, Q then loaded up an enhanced handgun with newly developed double loaded bullets.

Q turned to Bond who had taken his suit jacket off and placed it on a nearby chair, leaving him in his very well fitting white shirt that Q would love nothing more to undo the buttons of, was holding out a pair of earmuffs, his own around his neck and wearing a pair of safety glasses. Taking in the lovely sight, Q took the offered earmuffs and began to display the first weapon Bond was going to test for him, "this handgun is designed to hold newly developed double hitting bullets. Should they work, a single bullet will hit the target with the force of two. They've been tested enough to know they're safe for use but they haven't been tested in practice yet."

Bond nodded, his expression serious, "understood, where would you like me to hit?"

Q took a look at the target, "try and hit the lower right rib area and I'll get you a non enhanced handgun for you to hit the opposite side and I'll get a comparison."

Bond nodded and put his earmuffs over his ears, Q doing the same, took the gun and went to the firing point. He brought the gun up and took the shot, the bullet hitting right where Q wanted it.

Bond looked back at Q and gave him the gun, "well done," Q told him, not sure if he could hear it but the smile he received made Q think he did. Unloading the gun, he placed the spare ammunition back in the case and went to the check point that held the average use guns and signed out a handgun close enough to the one he made Bond use and a round of ammunition.

He walked back and gave the gun and ammunition to Bond for him to load himself. Doing this, Bond went back to the firing point and shot the target again twice, on the opposite side of where he shot it first. Finishing his shooting, Bond unloaded the gun and went to step on the buzzer to bring the target up to compare the damage the bullets gave.

Q took the gun and ammunition from Bond and placed them on the cart before standing next to Bond, both with their earmuffs off, as the target made its way towards them. When the target was finally close enough, Q looked at the two bullet holes, and that. That was surely something. Not only did Bond shoot the target in the exact opposite spot as his first shot, but he hit the second spot twice exactly in the same spot. That was practically impossible, Q was expecting there to be two very close holes for the second shot, not just one. Reaching out he touched the target at the shot point and looked at the side, seeing both bullets, one behind the other, through the clear gel.

Astonished, Q turned to Bond, "that is one of the most impressive things I have ever seen."

And Bond, Bond grinned at him. That grin was the most beautiful thing Q had seen. It made Q think of a bright and warm summers day, full of happiness and safety. Bond's eyes shining sky blue crinkled at the sides, he practically glowed.

Bond crossed his arms, making his shirt bunch up wonderfully, and his grin turned rakish, "Well, if you think that's impressive Q, you should see me with a bow as I shoot my load."

And

Q's

Brain

Stopped.

What?

Did Bond just flirt with him?

Q blinked, stupidly he felt, at Bond in response to that line. That was the most stupidest line he had ever heard, and this was coming from a man most well known for his seductions.

"What?" Q said with a voice that absolutely did not crack.

Bond winked at him, "You heard me, Q."

That wink almost undid him, was it getting hot in here? "Have lines like that ever worked for you?"

Bond shrugged and his grin went down to a smile, "You tell me."

"Well, it's not," Q said (it absolutely was) in his best firm voice, ignored Bond's raised eyebrow, pushed his glasses back up and had a look at the damage the two bullet holes did on the target. He then turned to make notes on his tablet, trying to take his mind off the current situation and his prickling cheeks.

Q hoped this was a one time thing (no he did not.)

It wasn't.

During his visits, Bond began to flirt with Q. In little ways, like telling Q the jumper he wore brought out his eyes or that his pants were quite nice on him after coming in to Q's office to find Q bent down underneath his desk.

Now Q could shrug these off, despite how his heart skipped a beat each time. But then, Bond started to come in with tea for him or food if he found out that Q hadn't stopped working to eat and Moneypenny hadn't come by as she sometimes does (how does he know?).

This level of kindness made Q dare to hope. Q knew there was a high chance Bond had an interest in men. Looking through his previous mission reports showed that Bond had seduced men having no connection towards his mission and most likely had only done so in want of a good night.

So, could Bond possibly return his feelings (oh how Q detested the word crush)? Or, is this some kind of weird way Bond shows friendship? After all, Q had seen the way Bond acts around Moneypenny, the way he speaks and looks at her and the way she acts in return. It made Q almost certain that the way Bond acted around him was just a weird friendship. It made sense afterall, why would man like Bond ever take a second look at a man like him. Though, there was something about the kindness Bond showed that still made Q dare to hope.

They were questions that floated around Q's head, never leaving him, always there in the back of his mind. Though, Q never let it distract him at work (only at home where he could take comfort in his cats).

The does he doesn't he all came to a head the day Q's testing session for some new grenades went wrong, almost a full seven months from when Bond first began flirting with him.

Q was in the secured explosives testing room with Bond, having him throw a Q branch member's newly designed timed grenades.

Bond looked to be having the time of it a smile on his face as he threw grenade after grenade over the clear protective barrier and hearing them explode after their set time went off.

Q was also having the time of it by not also getting to see things explode but also getting to watch Bond's back muscles shift under his shirt with every throw he made, nothing to say of his arse in those pants either.

It was as Q was writing down some notes for the grenades while not thinking of how he wanted to trace the muscles of Bond's back without that shirt in the way that Bond's voice called out.

"One's malfunctioned Q!" He shouted and Q's head snapped up to see Bond throw said grenade over the barrier before running over to pull Q to the ground and covered him with his body.

The explosion came quicker than any normal grenade and was therefore louder as it went off closer to the barrier than any grenade is supposed to. Thankfully, the barrier held as it was meant to.

Q's ears were ringing from the explosion and had his eyes squeezed shut from it. There was a dull ache in his back and head from how Bond pulled him down. The ringing and pain started to ease, quicker than Q expected, it must not have been as bad as he thought and opened his eyes.

Only to see Bond's face directly above his, close enough that he could almost count the man's eyelashes. Q tried to bring a hand up to fix his glasses that were half covering his eyes, only to find that he couldn't and finally registered how Bond had one hand under his head and the other around his back. The agent was completely wrapped around him.

Q focused back on Bond's face and found that Bond looked closer than before and his eyes kept flickering down to Q's lips. Q's breath caught and his month fell open a little. Bond's gaze went straight to it and the focus and hunger, after all what else could it be, seemed to charge the air around them.

Q wanted nothing more than to reach up and close the distance between them and finally kiss Bond like he'd always dreamt of. But, something stopped him.

A noise from something falling to the ground shattered the tension and Q looked over to see that it had been his tablet falling from the table. He looked back only to see Bond staring at him with a look of complete terror? What?

But with a blink it was gone and a blank mask had fallen over Bond's face. The room felt dimmer now, as if a giant cloud had come and covered the shinning sun.

It was at this point that Q knew Bond felt something for him like he did in return. It was also at this point that Bond began to act more professional towards him, as if a barrier had been brought up inbetween them and Q had no idea how to cross it.

Then just over half way into the year 2014, after more months of watching Bond go through his missions, receiving hits that dealt less damage than they seemed, and assisting him with a level of professionalism that wasn't there between them before, the man vanished.

Q refused to let himself wonder and be distracted by the man's disappearance (more like worried out of his mind). Afterall, he'd know if Bond was dead, that is not something that'd happen quietly, he knows it (he has to). Instead he'll keep focusing on fixing the car that Bond only managed to bring the steering wheel of, something he started a few days after the steering wheel was given to him, on top of his own actual work.

And then came the whispers of a merger between MI5 and 6 and with it Max Denbigh. Q, unhappy with this decision, sent a request to M for his branch to be moved to another location away from HQ. His small act of rebellion.

The request was, surprisingly, accepted and over the course of the last few months of the year, Q had his branch set up in a secret location only accessible by boat. And had even finished fixing up the destroyed Aston Martin, complete with all the lovely secret additions.

Then, a month into 2015, Bond shows up again. Q watches over his monitors, with secret relief, the video feed of the destruction and mayhem Bond caused in Mexico City during a festival for Día de Muertos.

Classic Bond.

Bond arrived back a week later and after a, hopefully, angry dressing down from M, Bond arrived at Q's new office (his lair really, but that that's neither here nor there).

Q took great pleasure in injecting Bond with the new smart blood he and his department created. The wince and shout of 'ow' certainly appeased the raging beast inside Q's chest. But it was the surprise of Bond not getting the fancy new car Q showed off that was promised to 009 and the reaction to only receiving a watch (that doesn't explode, what do you mean?) from Q that really made up for it all, especially for him not finding his joke funny. Oh, why must Q be attracted to a man who has no sense of good humour.

And Bond just had to look at him with those beautiful blue eyes, and Q accepted to do anything. Like going against M and allowing Bond a few days of invisibility from the smart blood. Don't judge him.

Of course, coming down later to find that Bond took 009's car away, leaving champagne in a bucket in it place, really brought everything down. Disregard the fact that he put Bond's handprint in the system for him to be able to use the car. Still, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, especially the emails and calls he'll have to make. Then, finding out Bond drove it into a river.

God, is it normal to want to kill the man you're attracted to?

Q looked at the dot showing Bond moving on the map. Obviously, just because he said he won't let M know Bond's movements doesn't mean that he wouldn't be watching.

And it looks like he's heading to Austria.

Great.

Q sighed and with trepidation, pulled up available flights to Austria going right now. The things you do.

Following along Bond's dot, Q was pretty sure he judged correctly to where Bond would show up. And looking at the couch through the large window, he could see said man sitting on it. Q settled himself down at the bar and waited, going through the drinks menu as he did. Now, which one looked like something Bond would hate the most?

Almost 20 minutes later, Q saw Bond leaving the room and ordered the most horrible sounding drink he found.

Sitting in front of Bond, who wore a black sweater that did wonderful things for him, Q almost forgot how to speak.

Of course, Q got stroppy with the man, but, then, "one more thing," said man asked looking at him with those eyes Q was so enraptured with and held out his hand. Q sighed and held out his in return and looked at the ring Bond dropped into it, ignoring the electricity he felt as Bond's fingers lightly dragged across his palm.

"Find out what you can about that for me."

Q sighed again and looked up only to see Bond looking at him with such tenderness that Q didn't know what to do with himself. Hands almost fluttering, Q pocketed the ring and packed up his computer, "come to my room in one hour," he told the agent.

"One hour," Bond agreed and looked up out the window. His face changed to panic, "go now, I'll see you there."

Q looked to see what had him so panicked and saw a group of men trying to kidnap a blonde woman. Fuck.

Practically running into his hotel room, Q quickly slammed the door shut and locked it. Shit, shitting shit shit. That was too close. Q put his computer bag on the bed and collapsed in the nearby chair, rubbing his hands over his face.

If it wasn't for that door being open or that handsome blond man (had he seen him before?) shouting about something and distracting his would-be captors, who knew where he would be right now.

Q took in a calming breath and got up to get a glass of water. Finishing it and placing it on the table, he jumped as a loud knock sounded on his door. Quietly he walked up to it and looked through the door hole, only to see Bond and what looked like the almost kidnapped blonde woman.

Opening the door, Bond and the woman rushed in and he quickly closed it behind them. Q, unsure of who the woman was, quickly and quietly told Bond all the information he found from the ring.

At the mention of La'American, who Q had no idea who that was, the woman called out, "La'American is a place, not a person."

Q and Bond turned to her.

"Just who is she?" Q asked Bond who looked at the woman intensely.

"Her name is Madeleine Swann, a Doctor from the retreat we were just at and Mr White's daughter, who was a member of Spectre." Bond answered, looking at her.

Q looked back at the woman, looking a little out of sorts after her almost kidnapping though none the less, very beautiful.

"And you brought her here?" Q whispered harshly, but Bond still looked at the woman with an indescribable gaze. Oh, oh.

Q swallowed and stepped back. Right then.

Bond looked back at Q, "get back to HQ and do what you can to stop nine eyes and C," Bond's name for Max Denbigh, "from succeeding."

Q nodded, not being able to say anything, his throat felt too thick.

Watching the pair of them leave, letting the door close behind them, Q could do nothing but stand there. What was he kidding himself, of course Bond wouldn't want him.

Of course he wouldn't.

Q watched with his heart in his throat as Bond walked away from them on the bridge, towards Dr Swann. Leaving this life behind him and them to clean up his mess. What else could he expect, honestly.

Q tore his eyes away to Moneypenny, who looked at him with realisation and understanding. "Oh darling," she said and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Q squared his shoulders and stood straight, walking away from Moneypenny's painful gaze, letting her hand fall from where it was and looked to help where he could. Stuff upper lip and all that.

It ended like this.

After the most of the nine eyes mess was cleaned up for the night and the merging was successfully stopped, Q found himself sitting back in the basement of his lair, looking through files on his laptop and being the branch head he is.

It was as he closed an email from 005 requesting a boat with flame throwers built in (really what on earth would that even be useful for?), that the lift dinged open and out walked-

...Bond? Had he come back?

Q stood up, "I thought you already would have left the country with Dr Swann by now, Bond."

Q ignored how the words ripped his chest.

Bond smirked, "you'd be right Q," he said, "but, there's just one more thing," and looked over to the covered Aston Martin.

Q's breath stopped. He wanted- he'd take the car Q painstakingly restored for him and use it to drive off with another woman? How dare he.

"You'd take that with you?" Q said quietly and there must have been something in his voice and expression because when Bond quickly turned his head to him, his face shuttered.

"Q," he said softly and walked over to him.

But, with each step closer, Q took a step back. They kept going like that until Q walked back into a table and clutched the edge of it behind him and turned his head away as Bond walked closer.

Q felt a light flutter of a touch on his turned away cheek and looked up through his lashes to see Bond looking at him with a tender expression. Q closed his eyes as the hand on his face began to delicately stroke his cheek.

"I'm sorry Q." Bond whispered.

"Are you?" Q whispered back to the man he was in love with, still refusing to look at him. There was no use in continuing to deny it to himself now. He knew this would happen but he hadn't wanted to acknowledge that it had. And what a time to do so. It's just like Q to realise he's in love in the same second his heart is being broken in to pieces.

"You have no idea." James affirmed and dropped his hand. Q's eyes opened at the loss of sensation and found James looking at him sadly.

"In another life," James said, "perhaps we could have been happy."

And

Got

Pissed.

"Another life," Q said and pushed himself away from the table and stalked towards James, who was now backing away from him. "Another fucking life," poking a finger into James' firm chest with every word, "there was nothing stopping you from making that life this one. You knew how I felt for you, didn't you? And still you did nothing."

At the last word James caught his finger and held it, looking at him with a severe expression and the room felt dark and cold, "I can't tell you," James told him, "and why didn't you do anything, if you felt something for me?"

Q's mind with blank, "you can't-. You can't tell me?" Q said, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean? And I didn't do anything because the instant I realised you could possibly feel the same, you pulled away!" And Q yanked his hand from James and took a step back, breathing harshly.

James left his hand where it was in the air, "Q, I-" he started then stopped and closed his eyes. Looking like he steeled himself, he dropped his hand and opened his eyes, with no readable expression repeated, "I can't tell you."

Q glared at him, "go then," he said and tossed the keys, James catching them in one hand, "get out. Leave like you want to."

Q turned his back to him, no matter how angry he was, he couldn't bare to watch James drive away. Taking longer than Q expected, he finally heard the beep of the Aston Martin as it was unlocked and the car door open and close.

(And Bond drove off with his own heart behind him. Leaving a tragedy of his own making.)

After what felt like forever the car was finally turned on and Q listened as it sped out to the basement car exit and finally let the tears fall as his heart left without him.

Q grabbed a sent off a quick text to Moneypenny, maybe she would be in the mood to help him drink his pain away. He didn't think his darling cats would cut it this time.

#james bond #daniel craig james bond #fanfiction #q james bond #00q #james bond is a son of apollo #00q fic #but they're not together #yet #key word #ill fix it

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