Sep 26, 2025
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🦈🍆🍬 (?)
reference/meme source
Truly Kisame looks like he'd be able to effortlessly twirl and toss Kakashi- the image of them dancing ballet together would not leave me until I made it real. So here!!💕
(costumes were inspired by some little mermaid performance outfits I saw)
uh oh uh oh uh oh, kisame/sukea accidental honeypot with feelings AU, UH OH
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
For my darling @sarcastic-mommy, love ya x
Pairing(s): KakaSakuKisa, past ItaKaka
Word Count: 14,521 words
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Kisame’s lips pursed. And then he let out a slow, agitated breath. “One thing. Say the wrong thing, make the wrong move, and they will kill you. I assure you that’s not in your best interest.”
“Where are we?” Kakashi asked measuredly, willing for a moment to be a part of this charade.
Kisame’s menacing grin made a reappearance. “I’m glad you asked. This, my delicate flower, is the Akatsuki base of operation. You have made the honorable acquaintance of its jail cell. But I need you to bid it farewell and I need you to do exactly as I say when I say it if you want those answers you’re seeking.”
Excerpt:
“I thought we would be going on a mission,” Sakura said unsurely.
“We just came back from one,” Kisame said. “Even super villains need a weekend, Pinkie. Simmer down, get yourself a cup of tea. We’ll talk business later.”
“Stop calling me that,” she huffed, warily reaching for her weapons pouch. She took it off and left it at one of the unoccupied shelves. “It’s annoying.”
“I think it’s cute,” Kisame said offhandedly, flipping a page in his book. “And you have pink hair.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m very aware of that,” Sakura responded drily.
“I’m sticking with Pinkie,” Kisame announced, unwisely if you asked Kakashi. “And he's Silver.”
Kakashi expected Sakura to react with violence. But instead she smirked. “Very well, Sharky.”
Kisame let out a howl of laughter. “Sharky?”
“Would you prefer Icicle? What about Bluie?” She challenged, sounding very amused.
Kisame looked vaguely concerned. “Bluie? I’m not a plushie, Pinkie.”
“That’s irrelevant,” Sakura decided and headed for the cabinet to acquire tea.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Hoshigaki Kisame Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Hoshigaki Kisame Additional Tags: Sharing a Bed, Mutual Pining, 30 Minute Fic, Rare Pairings, Pre-Relationship, Ficlet Summary: Kisame and Kakashi share a room at an inn after an exhausting mission.
Can't quite remember at this point if you've ever writteng this but it seems like something you'd like: Kakashi/Kisame and mermaid au? It be pretty funny if Kakashi were the merman and not Kisame xD
AO3
-
Kisame had always been fond of water in ways he couldn’treally describe to other people. There was a certain pull, a feeling deepinside the brought him back to the rivers and the lakes whenever he was awayfor too long, though it was always the ocean he yearned for. More than anywhereelse Kisame had always felt at home by the ocean. Something about the endlessdeep waters told him that this was where he belonged, with the brine and thesurf, and though standing on the beach was never enough he had no idea how toget out to where he truly wanted to go.
For all his love of the water he was no sailor. And withoutany large amount of money he could hardly pull a boat out of his back pocketthat would get him any farther than a day or two from shore. His only otheroption was to come back as often as he could and roam the rocks and the shoalswhere few other people ever came and he could enjoy the freedom of the wideopen air without other humans cluttering up his space.
It was there that he met Kakashi, sassy from his very firstwords.
“You’re pretty ugly for a human.”
Not having expected the voice, it took a startled Kisameseveral minutes of irritating searching to look down and see a pair of eyesstaring up at him from just behind a rock, pale hair haloed in the water andthe rest of their body entirely submerged. Baffled as he was, the only thing hecould think to say was, “Why don’t you come on up here if you think you’re somuch prettier?”
“Maa, I never said you were ugly. Just ugly for humanstandards.”
“What the hell other species should I be?”
“You two-legged types always seem to struggle so much,” thestranger said. “Perhaps you should get a tail like me.”
Before Kisame could ask what drugs this guy was smoking he peekedout from behind the rock a little more and the first thing that became apparentwas that his ears were very much not human. Then he seemed to ripple forwardand the end of a bright silver tail lifted out of the water, much too large tobe any kind of fish that Kisame had seen around these parts. He might havethought it was a shark if the other hadn’t been so completely unbothered.
“That’s…you’ve got a fucking tail,” he blurted.
“Indeed I do.”
“What the fuck. That’s so cool.” He could hardly believe hiseyes but even more than surprised he found himself so envious it hurt. “Wish Icould have one.”
The stranger – or rather the mermaid, as apparently thosereally existed – tilted his head to one side with a thoughtful expression. Withone eye a deep shining black and the other a brilliant garnet red Kisamewondered how he had ever mistaken this gorgeous creature for his own species.Whether this really was a mermaid or not he’d been right that no human couldever be as beautiful as that.
After a minute or so of running his dual colored eyes up anddown the length of Kisame’s body he brought his tail back in to the water topropel himself just a little closer, pressing up on to the shoal where he couldsupport his front half on two surprisingly muscular arms.
“I could give you a tail if you like,” he offered.
“Seriously? And how the hell would you do that?” Much asKisame wanted to believe him he was a little skeptical. He’d never been much ofa fairy tale guy but he did know the old saying that nothing ever came free.
“Maa, all you need to do is give me a kiss,” the creatureoffered.
“That’s all, huh?”
Obviously he was skeptical. Until today he would never haveimagined that mythical beings like mermaids were real, let alone any sort of magicthat would grant him a tail. But to be one with the ocean was the only thing he’dever really wanted in life and if a simple little smooch with someone – or something– as attractive as the one before him was all he had to do? Well, it wasn’t likeit was much of a hardship. And what could it hurt?
“What have I got to lose?” he asked, wading further down theshoal. Later as he got to know Kakashi better he would realize that he hadasked the wrong question. He had nothing to lose. But there was so, so muchmore than he knew to be gained.
already written (can be erased)
A brief look to my newest AU idea with KisaKaka work for Missing-nin!Kakashi and maybe Akatsuki!Kakashi. It's sketchy at best but I'll work something out.
It has traumatized-or-cute-child-who-is-not-taken-care-well-kidnapper!Kakashi and look-you-adopt-them-I-adopt-you!Kisame with wait-Kakashi-no-why-are-you-runnin-come-back-oh-whatever-I-am-coming-too!Gai ft. every-traumatized-or-cute-child-who-is-not-taken-care-well and oh-look-another-rebellion-let-me-join-I-have-experience-with-this-kind-of-shit Zabuza with wait-Zabuza-what-what-what-are-you-doing-murder-child!Haku though not all of them are tagged at AO3 bc they didn't show their face yet.
So yea, you got the idea.
I'll probably write a long, long work with this, but for now, this is all we have.
I have no idea what I'm doing either.
You can read this on AO3 too.
--
Kakashi lets out a curse, “Kisame, go!” He tries to open his sharingan, blood dripping from his cheek. He can't know if Kisame listened him, but he can't look, not while Genma still watches him.
So he jumps over the senbon Genma throws and drops himself to the ground without trying to look. Rolling to the left, he crouches down as he prepares a katon jutsu, and sends four shuriken around Genma, specifically the places he could run while he escapes the fire with a touch of genjutsu to hide them. Letting the fire hide him, his kage bunshin holds him while he jumps out of ground as a kunai, and Kakashi lets it throw him towards Genma, his henge holding with his chakra control even though he's scraping the last drops of his chakra.
He watches as Genma jumps to his left as dodges the fire. He sees the kunai that comes towards him the last second, chakra circulation rippling as he shakes the effects of the genjutsu, and deflects it, hands joining together in front of his chest to make a counter attack.
Kakashi lifts the henge that hides him right after Genma deflects the kunai, and appears behind him with his tantō resting against his throat.
He knows exactly why Genma attempted to fight him, just like how he knew which direction Genma was going to jump, like how he knew Genma would be the one to find him first in the woods. People called him as genius, a prodigy among his generation. He is what they call him, he always has been.
A prodigy, too smart, cold-blooded, son of a failure, friend-killer.
A silence surrounds the battlefield, all that can be heard is their fast breaths and the fire's crackling. After a beat, a few foot steps comes to their ears.
“It's over Kakashi.” Genma's voice cracks, “There are four jounin and a whole ANBU squad coming towards here. You lost.”
Kakashi takes one more breath and lets his training calm him down.
He can't lose, and he won't lose. There's too much at risk, he doesn't have the chance of even stumbling, forget losing. So no, he can't lose. He has plans, has back-up plans for them, and his back-up plan has their back-up plans too. He calculated every single move with all the players in his mind. He spied on Konoha, on other hidden villages, on Orochimaru and Akatsuki, it's too late to talk to him about giving up. Even if he gives up and goes back to Konoha, the things he poked and prodded will never let him get away alive.
Though, he can't let Genma see all of his cards, so he has to bite his tongue.
“It doesn't matter.” He says. Then, he adds with an offended expression, “He's not here anyway. I know that children shouldn't be on battlefield, what do you take me for?”
Genma's breath catches in his throat, eyes widening, “You- you gave him to an S-rank missing-nin from Mist?”
So what? He's not the right person for these things, he hadn't been a child long enough to know them.
But at least, he didn't make him get his first kill by gutting Genma. That counts as being a responsible family member, thank you.
But none of those things matter, so Kakashi focuses on other part. A laugh escapes from his mouth just for the show, but his voice contains no amusement,“I am an S-rank missing-nin too, just from Konoha.”
Genma's face fills with betrayal, hand twitching slightly at his side. Almost like a natural expression, as if it pains him to hear those words, but Kakashi has been on the road for too long, has been a shinobi for too long to be fooled by that. His tantō cracks against Genma's skin by his will and sends lightning coated chakra to Genma's system, knocking him out.
Kakashi staggers and slowly lowers him to the ground, making sure he's as comfortable as he could be on the ground of a forest. Then, he takes a second to look at Genma, because this is what he has done, and he has to understand that this won't be the last time he will fight against his own comrades.
His heart almost misses a beat, but he can't let himself get distracted. So his heart follows the even rhythm it always does at missions, and as silent as a shadow, he disappears, moving towards the opposite direction the voice comes from.
The ninja are those who endure. But if he pushes and prods around, writhes against the bounds that holds everything together enough, then maybe he could... Maybe he could do something.
Something, like changing an already written story.
Kisame x Kakashi - all
As said before I will do all for a few couples only because it’s so long !
Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs. Never heard of it but it sounds good !
How long will they last?
How quickly did/will they fall in love? It took a looooong time
How was their first kiss? With the risk of being caught and as the result of sexual tension. They would have kissed hidden somewhere.
Wedding:
Who proposed? Kisame
Who is the best man/men? For Kisame, it’s Itachi, for Kakashi it would Yamato, Iruka and Gai but I strongly believe that the wedding would remain secret as it would be totally impossible for Kakashi to marry a missing criminal.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -
Who did the most planning? Both planned the thing equally
Who stressed the most? Neither
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. As I said I believe it would be a secret wedding so it wouldn’t be fancy.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? They kept it hidden, therefore only the Akatsuki would have known about it.
Sex:
Who is on top? They both can be on top
Who is the one to instigate things? Both
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? Incredibly long
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Absolutely
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. It can be quite hard tbh
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? -
How many children will they adopt? Maybe one, maybe none at all
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Tbh both of them would be awful at taking care of a young child but they’d try their best so I’d say both.
Who is the stricter parent? Both are cool dads but Kisame can be scary and Kakashi knows how to win his child’s respect, they balance each other.
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Kisame
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Kisame
Who is the more loved parent? They are both loved equally
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Kisame would take a certain interest in his child’s education
Who cried the most at graduation? Kisame omg
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Both tbh
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? Kakashi
Who is the most picky in their food choice? -
Who does the grocery shopping? Kisame
How often do they bake desserts? They don’t cook dessert really often
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Kisame is meat lover af, Kakashi less but he’s still not a salad eater
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Kisame, he tries to cook but they end up going out instead lmao
Who is more likely to suggest going out? Kisame, after burning the food
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? Kisame, he’s a terrible cook
Chores:
Who cleans the room? Kakashi
Who is really against chores? Neither
Who cleans up after the pets? Kakashi
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Neither
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Neither
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Kakashi
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? Kisame, obviously
Who takes the dog out for a walk? Kakashi
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Kisame can decorate their house for Christmas
What are their goals for the relationship? They both want to be loved and they want to trust each other completely.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Kakashi
Who plays the most pranks? Both
-Admin L