Full story of how this AU came to be:
@HidekaneHeadcanons* liked writing oneshot!Kaneki and wrote a bunch of Hidekane oneshots that I really liked
(*Their blog is sadly deleted, but I went back and archived their fics I had reblogged on my main here. The "read more"s are broken, but all the AO3 links work as they simply orphaned them.)
And from there, I was inspired to also think of my own ideas featuring a full ghoul Kaneki, and I decided to specifically think about how Tokyo Ghoul's story would go if Kaneki was a ghoul from the start - how that would change his past, personality, his relationship with Anteiku, and his friendship with Hide
I first wrote and posted "Life As A Ghoul" to AO3, but it was definitely my weakest writing and just sort of a copy-and-paste of canon. I ended up deleting it because I hated it and it wasn't working lmao.
But the basic concept of a full ghoul Kaneki au never left me, and finally I came up with a good idea: "hey what would be the most fucked up way for Hide to discover that Kaneki was a ghoul?"
And I wrote that, re-using the name Life As A Ghoul and posting it to AO3. And after that introduction, it quickly became a really endearing fic of unconditional love and some ghoul & character building.
A few years passed, it went on an indefinite hiatus, I got out of Tokyo Ghoul for a while, but my love for the series remained and through it all I was still obsessed with the idea of a full ghoul Kaneki.
Eventually I did a manga re-read and also reread my fic, wanting to get back to it. Except... I had done a lot more analysis during that manga reread, and a lot of my understanding, takes, and headcanons had changed. Additionally, the original dark concept kind of caused me to write myself into a corner of where to go from there.
So! Instead I decided to try to "revamp" the au.
The name "Life As A Ghoul" had only ever been an easy placeholder title (Literally a phrase picked out from a sentence in the fic I had emphasizing Kaneki's difficult life as a ghoul).
But now I had the perfect proper name for the au fic:
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Because the whole concept that always grasped me was Kaneki's ghoul side and true self being revealed to Hide, and Hide loving him unconditionally, and yet between Kaneki's shame and the struggles of a realistic predator and prey relationship... their journey to strengthen their friendship ends up being "two steps forward, one step back". Each time they made progress, something seems to knock it back a little.
And then for whatever reason, since February of this year I got really into ghoul worldbuilding and doubled down on it so hard.
(I also constantly wrote tons of other full ghoul Kaneki reveal oneshots on pure whims)
At this point... the au and fic barely have a plot. And I'm not really sure it ever will?? But I've had a hell of a fun time writing adorable and angsty unconditional hidekane love and acceptance and just growing my worldbuilding headcanons.
So, here we are... A place for me to ramble about it, and post some of the random fun stuff I've made for the au.
