CHAPTER FIVE
𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐘/𝐧 𝐋/𝐧; 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟
𝐎𝐧𝐞
Content Warning: Light yandere themes (?), psychological manipulation, implied non-consensual ideation (not acted upon), corruption ideation. Just your average cup o' joe.
IMPORTANT!! Not many people read the previous chapter. I implore that you read it to avoid any confusion about the story. Click here to read the previous chapter!
summary: loser reader is forced to do her job instead of being a useless chud. ofc she has to work with tamsy. he's a love interest unfortunately so this chapter focuses on him. also he's a little yucky. you also get to see how swaggy and OP y/n might actually be if it weren't for the fact that she's sooo lazy. real shit. (wc: 7606)
IT WAS ON ENJIN'S REQUEST THAT Semiu should assign Y/n to as many missions as possible to help her regain the experience she had lost over the course of her absence. It was also on Enjin’s request that Y/n wasn’t allowed to be alone until she could prove her use to the team once more. He had a hunch that if he went easy on her and gave her the time to “relax”, she’d spend the time unwisely by mourning for a future that had never existed—a future unlived.
“My logic is that you can’t brood over things if you’re too busy fighting for your life everyday, y’know.” His voice echoed at the back of her head.
Y/n sat in the Jeep beside the window while recollecting her interaction with the captain on the night of Rudo’s welcome party. After she had finished writing down her journal entry, Enjin had found her stalking the hallways instead of going to her room. She could remember the concerned frown on his face yet chose to sat beside her anyway rather than returning to the party.
“I don’t really know what battles you’re dealing with right now but I know that isolating yourself all the time is probably not gonna help with anything. These type of convos are the worst ‘cause most of the time I don’t even know what to tell ya, but they’re just as important so I’ll say this stuff only ‘cause I think you need it. I’m your captain for a reason, aren’t I?” Enjin’s voice lowered as he slung an arm over her shoulders to bring her closer, noticing how she tried to shuffle away discreetly.
But what would Enjin know? He’s just an outsider after all. Y/n remained silent that night, leaving the conversation to unravel on its own. Her thoughts were louder than the lack of words she could give him, and he was reading through her as if she were an open book; a book that was hidden purposely behind other much cleaner and prettier books because of her damaged covers and torn pages. Hidden only because no matter how horrible Y/n’s story was, she didn’t have the heart to end it so quickly.
She was selfish, and that’s what made her so disgustingly human.
Y/n hated it—being perceived by anyone, really. Calling out for help was the equivalent to bleeding in front of a blood-lustful vampire in the stories she’s read. To be seen means to be vulnerable; like lying down on a busy road with the expectation of cars avoiding to turn you into roadkill. And no matter how many times she tried to hide herself, Enjin was just as stubborn as her and always found a way. Even if it takes months or possibly years. The red string of fate had her throat already collared to him; the wielder. Another reason she had returned. If he wanted to, he could pull hard enough to strangle her. Enjin had all the power in the world to put Y/n’s life into shambles if he truly understood what storms raged on in Y/n’s mind.
Now these are the thoughts of what a guilty person twisted and sickening enough would most definitely think of.
Because in another universe, if Y/n had exchanged her fear for a confidence so charming, she could have the potential to bring Enjin’s life into ruins had she learnt anything about his past. But it would be futile knowing that her self-hatred would remain even if she decided to do something bad. Not that he deserved it anyway.
“From now on, you’re banned from being alone for at least a month just until I can trust you enough so you’ll stop disappearing. Man, do you know how hard it is to find you? You’re like some kinda ghost—hovering around us but never making an appearance. Makes me worry ‘cause one day I might not be able to find you anymore. That’s when I’ll know I’ve failed as your mentor.” Enjin murmured, the last sentence a soft rumble from his chest as he turned his face away. Was he feeling vulnerable at the time? People do that a lot to hide their thoughts that could be seen from their expressions.
Maybe Enjin was a good man?
“Ahem, but anyway! From now on, you’re only allowed to go out if someone’s with you. Kinda like babysitting but I absolutely refuse to let a diamond like you move to Bro’s team. You’re way too old for that. Captain’s orders, ‘kay?”
That was satire. Enjin was still a turd face after all.
The stars shone brightly that night. They weren’t stars, but Y/n liked to think otherwise even with the knowledge that those lights came from the street lamps and neon signs in the distance. Like a small ounce of hope that told her there were plenty of cities she could run off to if required.
“Don’t glare at me like that, yeesh! If you think about it, I’m saying this for your own benefit and also giving you the chance to get more money in your bank account. Be prepared for more missions ‘cause I’m gonna work you to the bone. And if you don’t have any motivation, then…”
Y/n closed her eyes, remembering the warmth of his tobacco breath brushing against her ear as he leaned in. She could still remember how his hand moved down to her hip that night, too. Most likely accidental.
“Use your first paycheck to pay me back instead of going on that date with Semiu, got it?”
He was an absolute jerk! Completely aware that the reason why she even bothered to come back was entirely for the purpose of getting some cash back in her wallet. It was exhausting seeing flies buzzing from her pockets. Saying that you want to work with a large company to achieve life long goals and achieve any transferable skills for the future sounded too superficial. The only “goal” she had so far was to pay back the debt and go with the flow from there until the mere thought of leaving her room would exhaust her.
Right—she still had to fix up her room.
But perhaps after that conversation, something within her had shifted the negativity to become more profitable. More productive. Perhaps it was high time that Y/n began to do things for the plot once again. Being a little reckless sparks creativity in dramatic explosions rather than small flickers of light. And what Y/n needed right now was a fucking missile.
The sound of the radio turning off grabs Y/n’s attention as she stares at the rearview mirror, locking glances at the pair of pale honey eyes staring back at her. Tamsy, the driver for today, sat beside Delmon who had his arms crossed and shoulders tensed up. The car filled with silence for a long second or two as Y/n analysed the expression Tamsy wore on his face—or rather, Tamsy was the one analysing her in that short respiratory moment of peace.
Until finally, the silence was interrupted by Tamsy who lifted the corners of his mouth to form a smile: “You’ve been inactive for a while. I assume you had a reason for that.”
Y/n nodded her head quietly in admission, thumbing the clip attached to her pen lid. Those warm eyes of Tamsy’s were always on her, come to think of it. Whether she’d be drinking a glass of water or reflecting on her day, those honey irises were never not on her unless she wasn’t in action. Honey was a sweet delicacy she could get addicted to if it were a drug. But the chances of having her hands on nature's candy was akin to watching the Sphere suddenly explode on her birthday; an impossible dream that she could only ever write about. Except this wasn’t just any type of honey. Say that you were a bear in a research facility, the honey was a trap to lure you in. Tamsy wasn’t looking at her in amusement. He was watching her in curiosity.
Y/n sighed inwardly, There’s that weird look on his face again. I should’ve pretended to sleep.
“DON’T YOU WORRY, YOUNG Y/N! WE’LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU SO DON’T BE SCARED TO SHOUT AT US FOR HELP!!” Delmon’s voice boomed, making both Tamsy and Y/n flinch in surprise.
“Pipe it down, will you?!” Tamsy glared at Delmon. He then let out a long exhale to calm himself, looking back at Y/n with a look of observation, “Anyway, Y/n, Enjin insisted that you come along, but I’m a little… worried. Six months is a lot, and if anything happens to us because somebody forgot how to function, no one’s gonna come back alive.”
To the ordinary eye, Tamsy’s words were honest and realistic. There were no concerns in what he said besides the truth. Yet to an observer like Y/n, the ominous tone that was barely hidden inside his smooth voice was not unnoticed. She understood what Tamsy really meant even if the true veracity was hidden in a path that only experienced eyes could tell: Don’t hold us back. No, that doesn’t seem like something Tamsy would say to her specifically.
Don’t fuck up.
At last, the three arrived at the deserted battlefield once the winds began to pick up. In routine, Y/n clasps her oxygen mask first before fumbling with her full face mask. No matter how often she had to wear it, the mask was always the most difficult part to wear (apart from wearing her uniform properly, of course). As it tilts, Tamsy doesn’t hesitate to reach out to adjust her lopsided mask. An black and white steel mask with downturned crescents for her to look through. On the right side where the ivory had been refurnished and polished after discolourising, an obsidian tear was painted beneath the hole. Beneath her gas mask, a wide upturned smile was painted almost ear to ear.
A pierrot’s masquerade of eccentric melancholy. Much befitting for a naivety like her who tries to flirt with death.
Slender fingers extended to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear with much calm nonchalance which was part of the routine he was used to whenever going on a mission with the girl. Until she decided she was independent enough to swat his hand away just the slightest; not enough to hurt but enough to make that flicker of warmth in Tamsy’s eyes falter like a lamp of illusion.
“It’s fine. I can do it.” Y/n assured quietly, her head turning away as she adjusted the straps of her mask properly for once.
For an unsettling second, Tamsy didn’t smile at her autonomy. It was uncalled for but the smile soon returned with a hint of fascination in his eyes.
“Right, then.” Tamsy trailed off, “Delmon, me and Y/n are gonna finish this off quickly so you can stay here in case anything happens to our ride back home. Got it?”
“Leave it to me!!”
And so, the pair left the vehicle and paced off towards their destination.
That was a lie, by the way. There was no destination in mind and Tamsy hadn’t mentioned any specifications about where they would be fighting. Besides the only detail Y/n could remember, trash beasts liked to move; so this entire field was a battlefield with the habitations of little to few.
It didn’t help that Tamsy was quiet the entire time either. Y/n did her best to match his pace because for some odd reason, he was walking awfully a lot slower than she had expected. Nevertheless, her anxiety was having a fucking fieldtrip right now because these monsters could kill her if she was the slightest bit clumsy. Enjin was really cruel for sending her here already when she wasn’t the least mentally prepared. Well, that’s what she thought. But you can’t always be prepared for a life that doesn’t follow a determined path, so going with the flow is the only way to survive down here. That was the mindset for a typical experienced Cleaner.
Y/n’s mind drifted everywhere but the mission. What if she fell right in front of Tamsy and embarrassed herself and the future generations? Or what if she throws up her food because of all this anxiety? It was a contradiction that the more she tried to think about it, the more she felt like dying was the best course of action. But the less she thought about it, the more her stomach continued to churn which gave her no choice but to think. It was a goddamn paradox!
The soft thuds behind her had halted, Y/n turning her head back immediately after being distracted from her inner turmoil. Or rather, they had ceased to stop for a while now. Tamsy was a good few meters away from her, his figure looking small with his hands concealed by his long sleeves.
“Tamsy? What’re you—”
Before Y/n could finish, a small stampede of trash beasts came running at her from behind. While trivial in quantity, these monsters weren’t like anything she had fought before. Quite literally duplicates of the exact same beasts she had remembered, yet thrice the size.
“I guess this is where we part ways.” A smile bled into his voice, watching how Y/n snapped her head between himself and the beasts zeroing in almost comedically. “I’ll leave it to you, angel.”
“You can’t be kidding me!” Y/n exclaimed, triggering her Shiki to metamorphose into her signature claymore.
Tamsy was way too far now, leaving Y/n with nobody to fend but herself. The monsters came bulldozing at her and while it would’ve been appropriate to focus on the beasts, Y/n could only hypothesize why the hell her partner would leave her alone. Was he trying to kill her?
Did he want her to die?
Gripping her sword tightly in both hands, Y/n leapt into the air with her blade tilting horizontally. Using the force of her shoulders, she swung the blade at the throats of the monsters swiftly, using the sharp tip to gouge their glowing rustic eyes out. Y/n ran across the desert, her skirt fluttering in the air and revealing her heavy boots as she sliced through their legs with all her might.
A sharp pain barged into her side as a bull-like beast threw her high into the air, wooden mouth opening as wide as possible that you could almost hear its jaw creaking as it tried to chomp the girl. At that period, time had slowed down and everything was moving in slow motion. Y/n would die either way in every scenario she could possibly think of. Whether by falling to her death or by falling quite literally to her death, these unruly beasts weren’t the typical beasts that she had fought before.
Everything looked so small from the beasts to Tamsy. Tamsy. She had nearly forgotten about him. From the silky hair he had always kept tied up to the gentle look in his eyes, Y/n felt a burning hatred for him that blazed so brightly that it was incapable of being anything but an illusive passion. Their eyes locked and Y/n began to think, Where had she seen those eyes before? There was nothing gentle about Tamsy at all apart from the web of lies that he carefully threads with his beloved Tokushin; a spider who trapped its prey with sweet nothings and empty promises.
But Y/n refused to die so pathetically, eyes glowing a radiant e/c.
The full face mask she had worn herself slipped into the mouth of the beast below, crushed to smithereens as an example of what could’ve been her. Wrinkles formed in the corner of her crescent-turned eyes as she grinned at him, seeing through his illusions and schemes. This was no betrayal. This was a test—a test to see whether Y/n was really worthy of being here at the scene. How utterly obnoxious yet amusing Tamsy was for returning the smile which finally reached his eyes. A cold yet calculating gaze as he waved at her with faux innocence.
By now, however, Y/n was way too close to the monster's mouth and felt her legs heating up from the proximity towards the metal teeth. She could feel the hot stench of its aura almost baking her revealed skin. Yet no matter how hard she fought, Y/n was weak. No, it wasn’t a matter of weakness or not. She was clearly outnumbered and momentarily betrayed, leaving her one step closer to Death’s door. And worst of all, Shiki had transformed back into a measly pen leaving her completely armless.
The Reaper's door had opened as the monster had shut its mouth with a loud bang.
The amusement in Tamsy’s eyes faded away in an instant as he watched the death unfold, none of the beasts noticing him at all as if he were the perpetrator of it all. Which to say was quite a stretch for now.
Was that it? No encore? No nothing?!
What the actual hell was all that suspense for?!
A sharp exhale left Tamsy’s nose as he turned around with a disappointment that left him irritated. Imagine, downloading a game for hours and as it reaches 99%, it freezes up on you. And to top it all off, before you can even reach 99.9%, the blue screen of death pops up because of a network error. It was one of those unsatisfactory moments in which Tamsy felt like he'd been edged for hours with no climax. Totally bad!
Until a piece of aged paper lands at his feet with barely legible handwriting.
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‘FIVE SENSES: Lots of Shiki’s in the sky (sight), loud metal and collapsing trashbeasts (sound), taste invalid, trash and rotting garbage burnt to the floor (scent), heavy and sharp swords with pointy tips (touch)...’
[SYSTEM: UNWRITTEN]
Total outcome: ⅘ senses have been utilised.
80% power will be used.
Keiten activated.
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“A prophecy?” He questioned, brows furrowing as he struggled to discern the little to no description on the sheet. “The fuck is this…?” An unamused chuckle escaped him.
Soon after, multiple shadows all alike formed onto the ground in the shape of swords. Tamsy’s head snapped up towards the sky, honey eyes filled with a burning light that soon began to shake his soul. Hundreds of blades all across the sky formed into a halo around him, trembling above the clouds as they slowly pointed towards the centre where the trash beasts had gathered. The claymores looked exactly like Y/n’s vital instrument, yet there were numerous of them all up high. Shaking and palpitating as if they were being held by a strong force.
Tamsy had to run.
His legs sprinted as fast as he could away from the halo yet his desire to witness this miracle made him stumble over his own feet. He looked back as plenty of sharp whistles bled through the air as the swords came crashing down in an instant. In five seconds, each beast had been skewered simultaneously to each of its own death. In three seconds, vital instruments of numerous items plummeted to the ground beneath the clouds of dirt. And in one second, a short woman covered in dirt and torn pieces of plastic in her h/c hair came falling to the ground with an apathetic look of confidence on her face; a f/c journal opened in one hand and a burgundy pen in the other.
Y/n doesn’t write about softening her fall. Her eyes locked onto Tamsy’s who had a look of bewilderment on his own. Her hands move as she scribbles something down in her book quickly and Tamsy flinches, looking down quickly to see ropes around his ankles preventing him from running any further away.
An amused but bitter chuckle left Tamsy’s lips as he struggled to move, noticing that these threads were identical to his own vital instrument, Tokushin. The only difference was that there was a locket on his ankle.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
With a sigh, Tamsy clenched his muscles and opened his arms wide with surrender. Irritation brewed beneath his mask, watching Y/n shove her journal inside her pocket and lift her oxygen mask off for a split second. The glint of something silver pops into her mouth before she slapped the mask back on. And before he could register what had eaten, the girl dived head first into his chest, both grunting loudly at the forceful impact as they skidded across the ground. A sharp crack echoed amidst their fall and Tamsy had hoped that it wasn’t from either of their bones, coughing harshly as Y/n landed on top of his chest.
After the dust had settled, Tamsy winced in pain and grabbed her hips firmly, pushing her off his chest and onto his stomach instead. The two groaned in pain and Y/n sat up dizzily, swaying as the land spun around her. But suddenly, the ground vibrated as a stubborn trash beast came running towards them, refusing to die just like Y/n.
“Get off me already. You’re heavy.” Tamsy coughed, sitting up immediately with his hand guiding to the small of her back.
Y/n looked back at the beast then returned her gaze onto Tamsy, a plotting look of similar mischief appearing in the faux innocence in her eyes. A splitting image of Tamsy prior to this incident.
“I guess this is where we part ways, Tams.” She smirks, hands on his chest as she pushes herself up.
This little bi—
“Oh, you’re not going anywhere!”
Before Y/n could get up, Tamsy had tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer. Her hand whacked him in the face in surprise, his full mask slipping off and revealing an annoyed smirk he mirrored off hers.
“Where’s the damn key, angel?” He asked gruffly.
“I ate it.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Tamsy rolled his eyes with a harsh sigh. Suddenly, his hand grabbed her jaw as he tore off her mask without warning, thumb pressed firmly onto her tongue as he searched her mouth. Drool gathered around her lips and leaked as he finally found what he was looking for: the key which was hidden beneath her tongue.
Grabbing the key quickly, Tamsy shoved Y/n to the ground unapologetically, ignoring how she gagged and spat out dirt and dust before putting her mask back on. With a faint click, the lock opens and he stands up with a hand pulling the scruff of her collar alongside. The beast was inches away and swung its paw at Tamsy, but he was a second too slow as Y/n slices it cleanly with her sword.
“Nice save, angel.”
Y/n side eyed him, then scoffed quietly: “No worries, princess.”
A childish nickname befitting for somebody who stands around looking pretty all day. Y/n was certain he hated her.
The ride back home was no better than the fight with Delmon asking multiple questions about the lost cause of Y/n’s missing mask. For a man so gentle with a pure love for gardening, Delmon had a voice that thundered louder than the trash beasts. Furthermore, the longer she kept her eyelids open, the stronger the pounding in her head grew. Y/n never realised when her constant migraines became so strong but it must’ve been the consequence from using a special skill on the beasts before.
By using Keiten, her journal grants her the power of writing dreams into reality—an enabler for a world of illusions of some sort. There are hundreds of senses within the human body including internal and external feelings, yet her vital instrument centralises on the five: eyes, ears, mouth, nose—and touch (intentionally written that way). The more senses she can use and remember closely, the more realistic the illusion becomes. And the more realistic her illusion becomes, the closest it gets to becoming reality.
An example would be the candy she had eaten the night before.
A lime marble as small as half an inch; its exterior a chrysalis of sweet hardened aventurine. Inside, a thick dark syrup of dark blue oozed out from the centre. More sour than a lemon, and almost as acidic as toxic waste, you would think that it was made of battery acid which isn't entirely wrong. But instead, it was a mystery ingredient Y/n had only tried once and became addicted to its flavour. Candy wasn't a delicacy anyone could acquire so easily here on the Ground.
Now, that alone was a description that speaks of all of her senses, thus how she was able to recreate those sweets so accurately. The more senses, the more perfect her creation was.
But in other cases where she cannot recollect all five senses, the illusion remains as an illusion and cannot reach its full potential. It takes up a lot of brain power as her memories are tested again and again. Sometimes it would put her into a coma or even make her nose bleed. Worst case scenario, Y/n’s potential to bend the laws of reality could possibly even kill those around her including herself. It was a relief that she was hired to be a Cleaner in the first place.
However, the brain is a mysterious tool which can create fake scenarios and movies on its own. If Y/n chooses to, she could convince herself with lies and genuinely believe them by gaslighting herself continuously until it becomes only natural. Not all senses are accurate; some are overwhelmed by another that it dominates the entire memory.
Like the candy, you would mostly remember that it was unbearably sour. Y/n managed to convince herself that the candy was green. In reality, it could've been purple or blue. It could've been not candy at all and just a sickening taffy she had her hands on! But that was a truth that Y/n didn't need to focus on, for the honest truth was that the candy was now green; so in conclusion, it will remain green. Until she decides to change its colour on a whim.
With her eyes constantly fluttering, Y/n’s head felt heavy and fell onto a relaxed shoulder. A hand moved to the other side of her head to fix her position, only for her to recoil and pull away, eyes looking up with alertness. She had forgotten that Tamsy decided to sit beside her on the way back with all that thinking just now. It was no surprise she forgot that he existed for a good five minutes.
“You seem quite exhausted. Not enough sleep?” Tamsy glanced at her, crescent eyes staring down at her.
It felt like not long ago he didn’t just try to indirectly kill her. Had Tamsy grown an ego so large that it gave him the confidence to pretend that nothing bad just happened thirty minutes ago? A soft scoff left Y/n’s lips at his level of audacity: it seemed that he was only on his best behaviour now that she had pleased him with her skills to continue to survive. Once you carve something into your brain, your heart remembers just the same. Or perhaps it was because she wasn’t that special and Tamsy didn’t really care much about her ability to save herself, and that it was Delmon that he was more concerned about. People behave more around an audience, it seems.
Y/n rubbed her temples and nodded slowly, “It's fine… I just need another coffee.”
“IF YOU'RE FEELING TIRED, YOU'RE WELCOME TO SLEEP NOW, YOUNG Y/N!! I'LL TURN OFF THE RADIO FOR YOU!”
“Delmon, you're not helping.” Tamsy deadpanned.
Y/n sighed, the exhaustion creeping up the back of her neck. While born as stubborn as a mule, she knew the limits to her human body. The dark shadows dancing in the corner of her eyes which she tried so desperately to ignore was an obvious sign that it was time to give in. Tamsy looked at her with a slight raise of his brows, noticing the burdened sigh she let out. His hand reached out again but this time more gently, pulling her to his shoulder once again with that same nonchalance he always bore.
“It's pointless to ignore your own body begging you for a break.” He said, scrutinising the hesitance from how Y/n tensed up. “Resting isn't a bad thing so use this chance while you can.”
“I know… I'm just…” She sighed, the words fading before she could find them.
“You know you want to. Come.”
There’s nothing wrong with sleeping and Y/n was aware of that. She was also aware of the fact that her intrusive thoughts are built on the slim chances of dying in her sleep which is quite rare but not always impossible. Being self-aware but incapable of stopping yourself from thinking in such a way; it was like having full control of a ship but choosing to go nowhere besides the large iceberg of doom.
But sleeping on Tamsy’s shoulder is what made her hesitate. He must’ve gotten used to the stench of the trash beasts or was holding his breath the way she was as well. It was like her body refused to breathe to its full potential hence why she couldn’t really smell her own scent. Maybe she was just lucky that the stink had gotten away quickly through moving so much. However it works, Y/n was too tired to think anymore.
Knowing that she could either become a walking dead with her growing sluggish movements slowing her down or finally breaking the cycle and letting her body choose whether it wants to wake up. Otherwise, she could stay asleep permanently which was a predicament she had no choice but to think about. Yet she would have to find out by succumbing to sleep and gambling with the chances of life or death. It isn’t exactly gambling—just a tactical response based on human patterns of survival.
Plus, his shoulder looks really comfortable as well…
Reluctantly, Y/n rubbed her cheek against his shoulder before her eyes grew heavier. His hand was caressing her lashes, dragging them down gently until they fully closed. And finally, her breathing evened out which allowed Tamsy to rest his arm carefully around her shoulder.
“She's finally asleep…” Tamsy whispered, taking in the way her chest rose and fell. The peaceful look on her face and the dark crescents below her lashes that begged to go away…
With Tamsy sitting in a seat where Delmon couldn't see him fully, the blond man grinned ear to ear, his tongue tracing around the pearl of his piercing in a quiet cheer of success. Eyes squinting as he took in the slight drool leaking from the corner of her lips.
“What a dumb bunny…” He chuckled softly, careful to not awaken her.
“Huh? Did you say something, Tamsy?!”
Tamsy glared at the back of Delmon’s seat, “Shut up. Angel’s sleeping.”
Delmon peeked over his shoulder quietly, a hint of guilt for nearly waking the poor girl up. Yet his eyes caught something. His partner was smiling so cheerfully it was almost uncanny. But what Delmon really focused on was the younger man swiping up the bit of drool on Y/n’s soft lips before bringing it up to his own, tongue darting out to taste her. Surely his eyes were mistaken.
He looked back at the road, muttering nonsense to himself about how he was getting old or how he's reached an age where his eyes weren't as great as they were when he was in his youth. The poor man didn't seem to understand that his eyes were working just fine unfortunately.
Twelve months before Y/n’s disappearance~
It wasn't often that Tamsy would receive any visits from his co-workers. Despite living closely to the other Cleaners, everyone was always too busy prioritising themselves to really come see him. But in all honesty, that was because people here especially understand the need for privacy and alone time having been forced to live in conditions where your coworker is your neighbour. It was expected to not intrude on other people's lives unless they opened the door for you especially.
Tamsy knows that he got along with everyone. He would even get visits from his other coworkers whenever they needed an extra hand or were just checking up on him. No one of course made it past the border of his door. Beyond those walls lived a Tamsy that would be hated or even feared by his current so-called friends. A man who lives his life as an observer and a puppeteer of emotions. Tamsy never truly connected with any of the Cleaners, because in reality?
Everyone was boring.
That smile on his face truly hid the sinister feelings in his chest. He hated people who acted on an impulse because they were idiots who lacked the ability to think, but he also disliked those who were too predictable because he was able to detect every single pattern of their life based on a single conversation. If he were to choose between the two, who would he love more? The one who barks, or the one who bites?
Neither. Tamsy wasn’t interested in anyone who could divide themselves into a specific audience. Additionally, he was too self-centered to truly care how others think unless it amused him; the more stupid, the funnier. Tamsy lived for entertainment, and these brainless coworkers of his were the jesters serving in his royal court. Yes, he knows some were clever, but are they truly intelligent if he can read them? For him, an intelligent person would be someone like him who was self-aware of his own flaws and strengths and capabilities. Someone like…
Tamsy snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a faint knock to his door, sighing from the disruption as he put on his mask once again. His cheek bones were starting to ache from all the smiling he’s been doing today. Could this idiot behind the door not understand that he was on his break? What a pain in the ass.
The door swung open a little too aggressively—his mistake—yet the sweet and angelic smile on his face remained. Honey eyes widened with surprise as he stared down at what could’ve been a walking dead but was really just a younger woman on the verge of passing out. E/c eyes glued to his chest, too exhausted to look up at him, and dark shadows beneath that made her face pale in complexion.
“Can I help you with something, Y/n?” He raised a brow.
Y/n nodded and sighed heavily, finally raising her head to look at him. A jolt sent down Tamsy’s spine as he scanned the contemptuous scowl on her face—something he wasn’t used to because everyone quite literally liked him. He stood up straight and crossed his arms, a tilt of his head as he prepared to listen. He wondered what was going on in her mind right now, but the irritation he felt was bubbling quickly inside of him.
Tamsy never liked Y/n. She was her own category of people he’d rather avoid, and not because she wasn’t impulsive nor intrusive. No, it was because every time he looked into those e/c eyes, Tamsy could see a reflection of himself inside there. Thinking, wondering, conspiring. Where had he seen those eyes before besides the mirror he uses every morning he washes his face? He felt seen and that’s what made Y/n an anomaly of her own genre of quiet destruction.
“I need your help, Tamsy. You’re the only person I can rely on right now.” Y/n’s eyes softened, her brows furrowed in hopelessness.
A look of surprise appeared onto Tamsy’s face before fading into one of curiosity and slight amusement.
“Only something I can do? What do you mean by that?”
Y/n sighed heavily, her voice hardening with determination: “Your Tokushin—it can tie people up, right? Th-that’s what your vital instrument can do, right? Right?”
“Slow down, first. And yes, it can. But why do you need it so badly?”
The girl looked around in frustration, paranoia lurking within her pupils as she scanned the halls for any potential eavesdroppers. Her hand dragged down the side of her face and she took a deep breath to calm herself.
“I need you to use Tokushin on me. I know it might sound weird but I genuinely cannot sleep right now. I’m on the verge of passing out and I’m scared of accidentally overdosing on the sleeping pills Eisha gave me. Please help me fall asleep. I’m begging you!”
Begging? He smirked.
“You know, I don’t really like to use my vital instrument on my dear friends.” Tamsy sighed with his brows furrowing with faux concern, “But because you’re so desperate, I would be a terrible man to leave you alone to suffer. Anyway, watch your step.”
Tamsy stepped aside and opened the door enough just for the girl to walk inside, eyes scanning her head to toe while discerning how he could make the most of this opportunity. The door clicked shut as he locked the door behind them, watching Y/n look back with her delayed reaction of confusion.
“Just to avoid getting interruptions. You can sit on the bed while I get my jinki. Tell me more about what it is that you want me to do.”
Y/n nodded hesitantly before sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes scanning around his room with a tired curiosity. Clean and very well-kept. Nothing out of place and items that defined her perception of what type of man she believed he would be. He was quite simple on the outside in her thoughts. After explaining her intense situation with her insomnia, Y/n lied down on his bed without much thought until she realised that the man was letting her do so much in his own room.
The few times Y/n had ever really spoken to him, she would always struggle with reading his face. Usually the eyes were the window to his soul, but it was as if she was staring at a one-way mirror of her own. Her curiosity grew the longer she wondered what he could possibly want because the most she could comprehend was that Tamsy was always wanting something. Whatever it could be, she wanted to understand him a little more so she could avoid getting on his nerves because causing trouble with her co-workers would be a pain for her.
It was a surprise that Tamsy was willing to help her to this extent. There was a seed planted in her mind which believed that he didn’t like her but that didn’t stop her from wanting to know more about him. As much as she isolated herself from others, Y/n could contradict her own weaknesses with a curiosity like hers. Learning more about people was always good for her own side-gig.
Little did she know that Tamsy was watching her just the same, eyes analysing her breathing and the flutter of her eyelids as she tried to stay awake. The pillow smelled like him—fresh linen and a dark earthy musk that belonged only to Tamsy. Ever so slowly with Tokushin in Tamsy’s hand, the ropes began to dance onto Y/n’s limbs, creeping up on her until they wrapped around her. Her wrists were beside her head and her legs stretched out, the threads tightening from a small flinch.
“The more you move, the tighter they get. So it’s best if you just give up and let it happen.” Tamsy loomed over her, watching the ropes tie her to the bed.
Y/n felt herself struggle only more, the ropes itching against her skin through her clothes. That’s when she realised how close Tamsy’s face was to hers. Were his eyes always so dark? There was an unsettling gleam in his glance which only made the smile on his face appear rather disconcerting. Then, a cold chuckle.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m doing so much for you, right?” Tamsy pointed out, his hand moving to caress the side of her face so gently. He snickered quietly while watching her eyelids flutter weakly. “Well that’s because you don’t seem to realise how I could do anything I want to you right now.”
Y/n’s heart dropped. Did she make the wrong choice of reaching out for help for once?
Tamsy sighed and removed his hand, the unsettling face he wore faded quickly with one of indifference and boredom. “I’m kidding. Don’t look at me like I’m about to commit a crime. I’m not that typa person…”
“What are you implying, then?” Y/n murmured, feeling her body obliging to the laws of Tokushin’s bounds.
By relaxing, she only felt her heart race more from confusion but the thoughts in her head blurring and fuzzing up from exhaustion. Before she could realise it, her eyelids were drooping and her head felt heavy against the soft pillows. Once she couldn’t open her eyes anymore, Y/n finally gave in to the sleep that her body had long-awaited for. Peace enveloping her entirety, beyond drained from surviving that she couldn’t even dream.
Tamsy turned his head back to the sleeping figure, cautious to not make any sudden movements that could wake her. A slight tug on the side of his lips stretched, a huff of air leaving his nostrils with soft mirth. She looked so quiet—and not in a way that meant she was quite literally unconscious right now. Y/n was always so quiet and Tamsy knew that. But what he really meant was that Y/n no longer appeared as if she were fighting with any thoughts in her head. What a pleasant face she made like this.
The floorboards creaked quietly beneath him the closer he reached her, his head moving closer to examine the faint flutter of her lashes. The arrogant smile was placid across his face as he watched barely inches away. There was that putrid feeling in his chest which bubbled the longer he stared at her. It was a rancid emotion that filled his veins with a burning passion and almost made his face go sick with green.
With her guard down like this, he truly did have the power to do anything as he pleased. What was an unconscious girl supposed to do? He chuckled silently, his fingers twitched around the strand of h/c hair he tugged on. Haha, she didn’t even wake up from that. It was hard to control himself around Y/n when she was so… so…
“You’re so fucking cute, Y/n.” He whispered, not even processing what he said.
The smile faded away quickly into a disgusted frown. But shortly after, Tamsy’s gaze softened in realisation.
That horrible feeling in his chest wasn’t hatred. His heart wouldn’t be thumping so violently against his ribcage like this, making his blood boil with passion. It was so overwhelmingly sweet that it made him feel absolutely sick. With the way Y/n looked at him so much with those questioning doe eyes of hers, Tamsy bit his lip with an excitement which unsettled him that he visibly recoiled from touching her skin again. He wanted to ruin her so badly that she would have no choice but to rely entirely on him. To absolutely fucking destroy her until she was as useless as a puppet. A performer who only danced entirely just for him. Him!
But alas, Tamsy couldn’t ruin her now of all times. Ruining someone while they’re asleep was sick. He was too good for that. Wasn’t he the angel of the Cleaners? Hah, fucking bullshit. He wouldn’t dare to satisfy this hunger for her until he could properly corrupt her. That’s right; he needed a plan. A plan to keep Y/n all to himself. Perhaps even transferring her to Team Eager, or perhaps even convincing her to work full-time just like him so she’ll never leave his sight. He couldn’t afford to let her run away so much. He’ll make it his personal goal to help her through whatever depressive slump—he truly didn’t care about—and ruin her only more. Tamsy needed to know how Y/n would act in a moment of utter helplessness, needed to know if she would still look at him the same way, and needed to know if she truly is as stupid as he believes.
Because this putrid feeling wasn’t hatred. No, it was too sweet for something so horrible. It was love. A love that burned so brightly that it bordered on hatred, hence why he misunderstood his feelings towards Y/n as detestation. A love like a drug that slowly kills a person the more they surrender to addiction. A love as innocent as a wolf staking its claim on a bleeding lamb torn to shred. This was Tamsy’s declaration of devotion towards worshipping Y/n where he would make her his goddess; and gods can’t exist without any prayers in church…
For Tamsy was in love.
a/n: no chapters until i beat 97k on block blast (serious). i don't like tamsy tbh. but manipulative and conniving characters like him are very fun to read about. chapter is inspired by 'Sweet Trap' by HOYO-MIX and 'We Both Reached For The Gun' from Chicago The Musical and 'Hellfire' by FEVER333! Needed a chaotic vibe to show Y/n's super duper cool moves. this took lots of energy out of me.
taglist: OPEN. let me know through whatever is convenient for you, my loves.
˚˖° ୭🎐˚｡ ꒷ to my dearest, @faiwihteto @riyousjin
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でも今はおやすみなさい、ランタン。
