#larkral

[kiwiana-writes]

ALL MY PROMISE AND MY PRIDE (ALL MY FEAR AND ALL MY FIGHT)

by @kiwiana-writes for @larkral

written for @fandomtrumpshate 2024

[rated E; 10,043 words]

“And the thing is, I get it.” He grips his phone hard enough that he knows he’s risking cracking the screen again, barrelling forward before Henry can interrupt him with bullshit platitudes. “They’re both out there trying to fix the whole damn world to make it a little better for their trans son, but fuck, I miss being able to come home and having that be the one place I didn’t have to deal with any bullshit, you know?” The silence that follows is so absolute, Alex pulls the phone away from his ear to check that the call hasn’t dropped. “Henry?” “I’m here.” Henry’s voice is cracked and hoarse, and he must realise it at the same time Alex does, because he clears his throat before speaking again. “Alex, I don’t—did you mean to tell me that?”

Or, Alex is a stealth trans guy. That doesn't stop canon from barrelling ahead.

Read it now on AO3!

[24x81]

Ask game! 5 and 12!

I like these questions cause the criticism/support thing has been on my mind a lot this week!!

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

Yes, yes, please. I want to be a better writer, I want my story to be the best it can be, I want someone to be invested in it and me and my goals. I am, with great intention, not letting myself to take critique so personally. That said, there are some caveats with beta work that makes me... a little hesitant to just throw my work out willy-nilly to let anyone supply feedback. Someone has to be a fan of my writing style and the things I like to write about cause I've had people mistake their subjective dislike as objective criticism. I think that can be hard to parse out in a partnership.

But I am so open and willing to hear feedback about my work, as long as you don't come in bashing what I write about or that you don't like my writing style, I am all game. I really genuinely cherish and desire these kind of writer relationships, I want a good, solid back and forth with each other, I want to trust a fellow writer enough and for them to trust me and for us to go to each other when we need direction or motivation. But it has to be the right fit, you know? There are people who are incredibly good writers that I know they are good writers that I just do not enjoy their reading experience and knowing that difference is important to me cause, oh boy, have I been burned.

(legitimately, open call, I need some eyes on this infidelity fic I'm working on, I need someone else besides me and j looking at it) 12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

I think we all post fanfiction in the hopes of feedback/support. I'm real bad at answering/replying to comments on ao3 but just know if you've ever left a comment on my fics or if you replied to a post or sent me a message, I reread those messages constantly. It's everything to me. I cannot write in an echo chamber, I cannot sustain my own drive for very long. A lot of writing can be very lonely and has to generally be a lonely task but I don't think every aspect of it needs to be. And sometimes I am just too close to the work to see it objectively. I want people to tell me if what I'm doing is working or isn't. That said, HR has been fantastic with support and feedback. I've been in fandoms that move this fast and haven't had half the community HR has built up. People are very generous with it. I think it's because a lot of us (or that I've surrounded myself with) are fandom veterans so we get it.

fic writer asks

[forabeatofadrum]

Okay, I am so interested to know about Just Some Guy fic. Like...who else are we going to meet? Does the blandest guy in the universe have friends? I assume he has none of his own drama, but like, is he the only OC, or are there a variety of other OCs for him to be peeved about Simon and Baz with? I must know!!

Oh, you might enjoy this!

Matt has a couple of friends, named Luis, Arnold, Leslie, Ryan, Scott, Sam. They were named ages ago by @raenestee. They're all part of the Chess club, because yes, Matt joins the Watford Chess Club.

But the person who introduced him to Chess Club is his new best friend who is none other than Check, Please!'s John Johnson. Yup, you've read that correctly. And in true Johnson style, he's aware that he's in the wrong universe, but Matt doesn't really get that.

Why is Johnson here? Well, when I was trying to come up with a generic name, I obviously thought of John Johnson, but well, there's already a John Johnson! And then I thought that adding him to this fic without any explanation would fit the cracky idea of it all.

So yes, that's that. All I can say otherwise is that everyone apart from Leslie (who's a straight girl) and Ryan (who's a gay boy) has a crush on Agatha.

Matty himself also has a crush on Agatha, which will suck for him. And I gave him *some* drama with his parents, but apart from that, he has absolutely nothing going for him. Go girl, give us nothing. We love him anyway.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

@rockitmans @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @larkral @cutestkilla

Thanks for the feedback.

Re: the meow. I am not sure what to do yet. All seem alright, except for the option to play it simultaneously with the line, which seems obvious. I'll see what I'll end up picking.

Re: breathing. The combination of these replies and the feedback on the Discord made me conclude that I will only edit them out if I think they're really, really bothersome, but y'all are right that I am indeed just hyperfocused on it. Thanks to someone on the Discord I also noticed they also tend to appear when I try to change my voice for a character. Basically, I need to let go of the idea that they're incredibly bothersome and be selective.

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!! AND BY DRAWING BOARD I MEAN AUDACITY!!

[kiwiana-writes]

I mean, I'm sorry, I gotta: top 5 firstprince fics by people who aren't you. 😝

You know, I truly did try. I did. But I think the smallest I got this list was thirteen, and even then I immediately went "oh god but what about--"

So, I'm sorry. I failed. I will, however, offer up the recs section of my bookmarks, if by top 5 you meant (checks notes) top 60.

[put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer]

[kiwiana-writes]

Wrapped drabbles counter-prompt: whatever number you have something by Muna at because I am currently mainlining their live album and LISTEN. But if they are SHOCKINGLY not on your wrapped, I'm obviously going with #1. :P

#1: Becoming Unbecoming by Leanna Firestore

Everything comes to a head in Alex's second year of law school.

He can only blame himself, honestly. He feels the burnout coming, figures he can push through it the way he always has—don't stop, don't think, just keep smiling through it.

There's one key difference this time, though: Henry.

Henry won't let him run himself into the ground. He puts his foot down, pulls out the Royal Authority voice Alex usually only hears in the bedroom—which gives his body some very mixed signals—and holds Alex's hand all the way through getting a shiny new ADHD diagnosis.

[send me a number 1-100 and I'll write a drabble based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped apple music replay]

[forabeatofadrum]

The first fic of yours I read was There's nothing ironic about show choir.

Alas, before I was a serial commenter. ♥️♥️

Aaaaaah There's nothing ironic about show choir!!!!! I loved writing that one. I put some Glee quotes in it and all. Worlds collide and all that. One day I will continue the actual Glee/CO crossover.

[kiwiana-writes]

I feel like your hobby/skillset/knowledge that bless through into your fic is... Journalistic? Librariany? ADHD-adjacent? I get a very in depth knowledge about a broad swathe of topics vibe that suggests just being a curious person who is competent at seeking out information.

"ADHD-adjacent" made me laugh because where is the fucking lie. I never found a rabbit hole I couldn't take to with an earth digger to burrow just a LITTLE deeper. Or to put it another way: I grew up very fucking rural in the early-ish days of the internet with nothing better to do lmfao.

[what do you think my hobby, skillset or knowledge or any other details of me based off my writing]