Tarot 101 : Bonding Explained
Welcome to Tarot 101 with Astrid! This is part 4 of my series; if you havenāt read the previous ones you can find them here: part 1, part 2, part 3.
What does it mean to Bond with Your Tarot Deck?
What does it mean to Bond with your Tarot Deck?
So you might have heard other witches/practitioners talk about bonding with their deckā or how you should bond with your deck as soon as you get a new oneā while it may sound silly to some, it might just raise a lot more questions for others. Like What does bonding actually mean?
Bonding with your tarot deck is not like a binding spell, you do not join together and become one, with your deck.
Nor is it a ritual or a spell you cast that creates a magical contract between you two, instead itās actually super simple.
When we talk about bonding with your tarot deck, we mean bonding in the mundane sense.
Itās forming a platonic relationship with your deck. Getting to know your deckās personality, preferences, strengths and limitations, and what lessons it can provide for you, and more.
In turn, your deck gets to know you too. It learns your energy, your personality, your character, your anxieties and where you feel confident in, and so much more.
āImportantā may be objective. Bonding with a deck can be the most important thing one practitioner does, and it could be a lost thought, never done, by another practitioner.
Its importance lies in your practice, and in your beliefs.
If youāve read part 3 of my tarot 101 series, you know that who answers your questions while reading tarot is entirely up to your preference and beliefs. If you choose to read solely based on your intuition, no spirits required, then bonding with your deck doesnāt carry the same weight of importance as say, using your deck as a vessel for other spirits to communicate to you through.
Bonding with your deck, however, can still have its benefits even if you only use your intuition to answer in readings.
Iāll share some of the benefits of both divining from spirits and divining from intuition alone, and you can decide if itās something you deem important for your practice.
1. itāll allow familiarity with the imagery
giving you time to look at the cards and see details in the artwork can help you read better
2. gives you time to associate some cards with different meanings
with time and practice, asking random or different questions can actually provide deeper insight and new ideas to what a card means or says
3. youāll understand how the deck likes to work
some decks give straight answers, some beat around the bush, others strictly speak to you differently than they do to other practitioners. Even if you arenāt an animist, decks have different ways of operating, bonding will help you get a feel for how a particular deck works
4. itāll build confidence in your personal and professional readings
taking time to bond with your deck during casual readings can help you hear your intuition better, faster, easier, and raise your confidence for other readings that do matter
5. helps you take divination (and life) less seriously
which helps if you have anxiety or trouble with feeling a lack of control in life. Basically bonding helps you feel more connected to spirituality and that helps you feel more at peace with how life happens, and helps you understand that the weight of the world isnāt on your shoulders if you get the answer wrong
divining from spirits (including your deck)
~ all of the above benefits plus these ~
1. helps differentiate whoās answering a question
when you know what the deck sounds like, you can tell when another spirit speaks or uses the deck to answer, because itāll move differently. This is really useful during channeling sessions
2. helps you identify imposter/trickster spirits
understanding what the deck sounds like, how it moves, how it works, how it speaks to you, will help you know if itās the deck itself or another spirit speaking, which is helpful after cleansing the deck after a channeling session to verify that the deck is fully cleansed and thereās no other spirit lingering on it.
3. feel a deeper connection to tarot
spending more time with tarot decks and asking random or silly questions opens up a whole new world of intuition where you can hear more, see more, and feel more. Tarot will start looking different to you, itāll no longer be this simple set of cards, or this out of reach, scary tool, but itāll feel like your best friend, itāll become a key that you use to unlock secrets and truths and youāll feel like youāre one with the deck (but donāt worry you arenāt merging with it and nothing scary is actually happening)
4. feel a deeper connection to spirituality and the universe
bonding with your deck creates an environment of everyday magic, casual magic, and thatās when the universe opens up more to you, showing magic to you in everyday things and youāll feel more connected to everything around you
5. gain more insight into esoteric knowledge
a lot of the things that i know about the universe, fate, free will, and spirituality actually comes from me bonding with my tarot decks and asking random questions. Spirits love dishing out the tea of whatās really going on behind the veil, partly because they enjoy sharing their knowledge, and they also find it fun to shatter our view of things to give us the truth, some spirits are big fans of tower moments lol and they love causing them if we ask for truths
6. your deck knows how to answer you clearly
the more you bond with your tarot deck, the more it learns how to answer you in a way you understand clearly. if you regularly need to pull clarity cards, itāll learn how you think and how you see the cards, and itāll help you understand the answer by giving you cards that youāll immediately relate to the answer, instead of needing to ask more questions or pull more clarity cards. It learns how to talk to you, and how you best receive answers.
Thereās a lot of ways you can bond with decks and itās super easy to get started!
Iāll share how I bond with my decks, as well as other ways too, and you can pick what youād like to do and how you want to start. Just find which of these calls out to you š¤
Personally, the first thing I do when I get a new deck is cleanse it and charge it with its own energy. This way itās fully itself and there arenāt any conflicting energies like ālove and lightā or my own energy to throw off the deckās own unique energy. I like to make sure Iām getting to know the deck itself.
Then to start bonding, I introduce myself to them.
I tell them my name, Astrid, who I am, a witch and tarot reader. I give them a little background about me, how i became a witch. Just the basics, whatever I can fit into a 15-30second monologue. I do this so they know a little about me and theyāre more receptive to answering my questions about them. I treat it like our initial ice breaker.
Then, I get into a small reading. I call this an ice breaker reading, because itās 10 questions total, split into 2 small readings with about 3-5 questions and then I thank the deck and put it away.
I like to do a small reading for our ice breaker because I donāt want to overwhelm myself or the deck with a lot of questions upon first opening the box. So I start with about 3 to 5 questions and then put them away until the next day and then ask some more. This is because I treat it like any new relationship, you test the waters first, give you both time to process and feel the energy between you and let the friendship build naturally, slowly, over time.
My Ice Breaker Questions:
These are the first 10 questions I choose from to ask, in order of most likely to ask first:
1. How are you feeling right now?
~ They usually tell me how they felt abandoned, lost or hopeless sitting in the warehouse/store waiting for someone to buy them. Then how relieved they are that I bought them, and then their hopes and dreams for us working together. If they donāt share their hopes and dreams I ask them later.
2. What would you like to tell me about yourself? (or simply ātell me about yourself?ā
~ this is my favorite question because it covers so much and depending on how comfortable they are with you, they could tell you sooo much about themselves in this one question!
3. How would you identify yourself energy wise, are you more feminine, masculine, or balanced in both?
~ I like asking this question because it gives me a clear idea of the deckās energy. Pretty much every time I get a new deck I can tell right away if theyāre leaning into one gender binary or if theyāre balanced, but I like to get their assessment of who they are so I can better find a name that fits them.
4. Would you like a name that is more feminine, masculine, or nonbinary?
~ again, this just helps me narrow down the choices for their name list for them to choose from later.
5. What would you like to tell me right now? It could be about anything
~ this is like a warm up for both of us, to see how we do with a normal tarot reading question and see how we work together to get to the answer.
This is usually where I stop, I thank them for sharing with me, and I let them know Iāll let us both rest and we can talk again later. Iāll put them away and the next day or a couple days later Iāll come back and ask the other questions.
6. Why did you want to be a tarot deck?
~ this gives a lot of insight into their personality, morals, ethics, the way they view the world, the divine, the esoteric, and humans.
7. What kind of readings do you prefer doing?
~ this lets me know their preferences and Iāll learn more about their personality through their answer.
8. What kind of readings do you hate doing?
~ same thing as above, but this gives me a clear boundary for what readings Iāll do my best to avoid doing with them.
9. How do you feel about being used as a vessel for other spirits to speak through you during readings?
~ this is a big deal for me, I never want my decks to feel uncomfortable or silenced so I make sure they are happy or at least content with being used in channeled readings and if they arenāt, I use them for regular readings only.
10. What else would you like to tell me about yourself?
~ I like revisiting this question because weāve gotten to know each other a little more and they usually feel more comfortable sharing more around this time, or they give really good advice for a situation I wasnāt even thinking of at the moment.
Thatās all for the ice breaker reading. After that, itās free range. I can ask them about anything and everything I can dive deep i can get personal, I can get random and silly because it just feels comfortable between us already.
These are the other questions I like to ask:
How would you describe yourself?
How do you view yourself?
How would you wish for me to view you?
What card would you use to represent you? / What card do you think best represents you and your energy?
What card do you think best represents me and my energy?
What cards are your favorite because of the art work?
What cards are your favorite because of their meaning?
What cards do you hate/ or not like, because of the art work?
What cards do you hate/ or not like, because of their meaning?
Follow up questions to those:
What do/donāt you like about the art work?
Why do/donāt you like these cards?
What does this card mean to you?
Then later I like to ask silly questions, I can make another mini post about silly questions to ask your tarot and oracle decks, but right now Iāll keep this one post short.
After the interview portion of bonding I like to bond in a more casual way.
Here are some casual ways to bond with your deck:
take them with you when you leave the house, for errands, in your purse or in a backpack.
~ Just being around them and them going on adventures with me makes us feel closer to each other.
get them out of their box, and let them sit or shuffle them while you listen to some music together
let them sit beside you or shuffle them while you watch a movie/tv show together
talk to them when you walk past them on their shelf or wherever you keep them
~ like a casual hi, or tell them a story of what happened just before you got home. basically treat them like a roommate.
~ I like letting them pick their name so iāll gather information around what name theyād like and then brainstorm a list of names for them and then do tarot readings with them on how they like each name until we find their perfect match.
sleep with them under your pillow, or beside you on the night stand
journal with your deck next to you
journal and ask your deck for insight on what youāre feeling, not seeing clearly, give you advice on your day ahead, etc.
pick one card in the morning of every day
~ to either, represent the energy for your day, to give you an energy to focus on during the day, to be a card youāll learn about for the day, or for any reason, etc.
make a music playlist for your deck by letting it pick of the songs with yes or no answers
play the playlist while you do readings
shuffle the deck whenever you feel anxious, let the shuffling be a grounding technique for you
spend time looking at the art work on the cards, finding details that speak to you
take them on a nature walk or walk around your neighborhood with them
give them a special space in your room or on your altar
give them a crystal or charm that is theirs only, like a cute little companion and a gift
make art of your favorite cards in their deck
take pictures of the deck, a cute lil photoshoot to make them feel special and unlock your creativity in taking photos of them
ask them what music they like and donāt like
ask them what they thought about the movie/tv show episode
Long story short, however you wanna bond with your deck, you can, just please be respectful to them. Iāve seen so many people cut up tarot decks just to prove a point to themselves that tarot isnāt some scary object to be terrified of, and yes while nothing bad will happen to you if you cut up or damage a tarot deck⦠itās so incredibly rude and heartbreaking to be treated that way. Please at least treat them with compassion even if you donāt believe they have a soul attached to them.
The next post is on how to ask questions and then after that weāll dive into the meanings of each card and suit and how to read tarot š¤
If you have any questions or want me to elaborate on something in this post please reach out, either with my asks āOwl Deskā, comments or DMs.
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