@cruellesummer, lyrics from i know the end by phoebe bridgers // let down, radiohead // @archivedsmile // please stay, lucy dacus // @buhominervini on pinterest // i saw the tv glow, 2024
Fox Mulder, new in town, meets Dana Scully- a waitress at the diner he visits every day. Immediately intrigued by her, he becomes even more
Chapter Sixteen
Mistaken about the dates, Fox must adjust to the fact that Dana and Ivy are leaving to visit their family sooner than he had previously believed.
Friday afternoon
“Have you gotten all your Christmas shopping done?” Dana asked as she set down a tray of food and joined Fox for lunch.
“I don’t have many people to shop for, so yeah it was pretty easy. Just my nephews, sister and brother in law, really,” he said with a smile. “Well, and you and Ivy as well.”
“Oh,” she said, sitting down and looking at him. “You didn’t have to get us anything.”
“Dana, be serious,” he said as he reached for a bowl of soup, giving her a look. “Of course I did. Actually I got something for everyone here, just something small, but a way to say thank you for putting up with me every day.”
“That’s so nice. But you know they don’t see you as a nuisance being here. Manny and Joe like you a lot.”
“I like them too. They’re good guys.”
“They are.”
“Yeah, so,” he said, filling his spoon and blowing softly to cool the bite down. “I’ll bring them on Tuesday.”
“Tuesday?”
“Yeah. On Christmas Eve eve.” He smiled and ate his bite of soup as she stared at him.
“But the diner is closed next week.”
“What?”
“It’s closed all week.”
“The whole… the whole week?” he asked with a perplexed expression.
“Yeah. They close down for Christmas. Actually, they’re closed from Sunday to Sunday this week. The twenty first through the twenty eighth. There’s a sign on the door.”
“What?” he said, turning around to look and then turning back to her.
“I don’t think you can see it from here, but it’s been there for a few days now.”
“Shit. I totally missed it,” he said, suddenly feeling anxious.
“They don’t want people to miss out on family or trips or whatever their holiday plans are, so they close down the whole place for people to have the time off. They say they’d rather lose a bit of money than have someone lose memories.”
“Good guys,” Fox said quietly and she nodded in agreement.
He looked at her and he knew in that moment that she would be gone the entirety of the diner being shut down. She seemed to understand what he had just realized and she smiled softly.
“We’re leaving tomorrow morning to go to my sister’s. Ivy’s out of school until the fifth of January, so I take my vacation time now. Well, we get the week the diner is closed off with pay and then I take the week after it as well as I don’t have childcare during the holidays.”
“You’ll be gone for two weeks?” he asked, his stomach aching at the thought.
“No,” she said with a kind smile. “Just until the twenty eighth. We have stuff to catch up on here and I love my family, but one week with all of us together every single day… that’s long enough for me.” She laughed softly and he let out a quiet sigh of relief.
He nodded and smiled, but his brain was whirring. He had not wrapped their gifts yet, or anyone else’s, and he suddenly felt panicked to get it all done in time.
“Fox?”
“Hmm?”
“Where’d you go?” she asked and he looked at her as he swallowed.
“Sorry. I just… I don’t know how I didn’t see the sign. I figured you’d be going to visit them at some point, but I thought it would be closer to Christmas itself for some reason. I should have asked you.”
“I… I should have told you,” she said.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. They stared at one another in silence for a few moments and then he forced a smile. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Our train’s at nine thirty.”
“Can I… could I offer my help to see you there safely? And also give myself the opportunity to give you your gifts to bring with you to open on Christmas.”
“You don’t have to do that, Fox,” she said, shaking her head and placing her hand on top of his. “We can do gifts when we get back and we can get to the station on our own. That’s okay.”
“I know you can,” he said, turning his hand over and holding hers loosely in his own. “But I’d like to do it. If that would be okay.” She stared at him and he waited, squeezing her hand gently.
“It’s very early…”
“I don’t mind. Hey! I can bring breakfast. Give you one less thing to worry about,” he offered hopefully.
She inhaled and then nodded as she squeezed his hand before moving hers from his grasp.
“Great,” he said, laughing softly. “How does coffee and doughnuts sound?”
“Sounds perfect,” she said, smiling at him as she picked up her ham and cheese sandwich. He smiled back, stealing one of her fries and popping it into his mouth.
A week without seeing her, he thought as he watched her chew, wiping her mouth on a napkin. How am I supposed to do that?
_______________
Later that night, he sat with all the gifts he had purchased on the dining room table, along with gift bags, tissue paper, boxes, wrapping paper, Christmas cards, and stick on tags.
Christmas music was playing softly and every thing that could light up, was lit up. He had a glass of eggnog with a splash of rum beside him and he nodded as he began his task.
He actually quite enjoyed wrapping gifts, taking his time to get it done properly. Laughing as he placed an expensive bottle of bourbon into a gift bag, he wondered if a therapist would like dissecting the things he found calming. If there was some term for his personal mechanisms of calm.
“Probably,” he said out loud, labeling a tag to Manny and taking a drink of his eggnog.
Alcohol, candles, chocolates, relaxing bath sets, and thank you cards were bagged and wrapped for everyone at the diner. He moved them aside and then reached for the gifts he had just purchased on his way home.
Hoping it was not overstepping, he had bought a box of Christmas themed chocolates for Dana’s family. Four boxes in total to be given to her parents and each of her siblings, though she said her younger brother Charlie was likely not going to be there this year. Not wanting to be caught out if that was the case, he had bought one for him as well.
He wrapped them even as he debated giving them to her to give to them. Hoping they would be received in the manner they were given, as the season was celebrated, he wrapped and labeled them, wishing them all a very merry Christmas.
Ivy’s gift, as he knew they would be visiting family over the holiday, but had not known the duration, was a new set of panda themed outdoor wear. Pink panda earmuffs, a panda beanie, pink gloves with tiny smiling panda faces all over them, and a pink scarf with panda faces at the end.
It was forecasted to snow, so he had also bought her a pack of snowball molds in the shape of a duck, snowman, penguin, and a dinosaur. He figured she and her cousins could play with them and create an army of little animals.
Her presents were wrapped in pink cheeked penguin wrapping paper with candy canes and pink ornaments. A large sticky tag labeled Miss Ivy, was added and then he moved onto Dana’s gift.
Ella’s books, which he had purchased weeks ago when they had visited Mary’s shop, were still in the tissue and bag she had given him. He liked the way Mary had wrapped them, but he knew that Dana would know instantly what they were if he left them wrapped that way.
Pulling a box toward him, he placed the books inside to see if they would fit. Finding that they would, he wrapped the books in cream colored Christmas paper with holly leaves and berries. Tying them with red ribbon, he placed them back into the box and added green and red tissue paper to fill the sides. Sure the books would not shift or slide around, he wrapped the box in the same holly paper, and added the same red ribbon.
Picking up a card, he wrote her a note.
Merry Christmas to you, my friend Dana.
I hope Santa brings you everything you asked for, plus some things you may not have been expecting, but had been secretly hoping for.
Your friend,
Fox
Smiling, he placed the card into an envelope and taped it to her gift.
Stretching as he stood up, he finished off his eggnog and began to gather the gifts into bags for easy transport.
Not wanting Dana to worry about carrying many bags of gifts, he took out one of his smaller rolling suitcases and added all of the gifts to it. Zipping it, he placed three large Do not open until Christmas stickers onto it and set it by the door, so he would not forget to grab it on his way to meet Dana and Ivy in the morning.
Humming, he cleaned up and turned off everything except for the tree as he walked to his room to go to bed.
His alarm set, he thought again about how he would make it through a whole week without seeing the only person he looked forward to seeing every day.
__________________
“Knock knock,” Fox said, as he tapped on Dana’s door at eight the next morning, carrying a bag of doughnuts and a travel holder of drinks, the suitcase of gifts beside him.
The door unlocked and opened revealing Ivy standing in front of him in her pink unicorn pajamas with a huge smile on her face.
“Well, good morning,” he said, smiling back at her. “How are you today?”
“I’m good. Do you want to come in?”
“Yes, please,” he said with a chuckle, pausing as he stepped across the threshold when he heard Dana’s voice.
“Ivy? Did I hear the door open?”
“Yes, Mommy. It’s Fox.”
“Oh,” Dana said, coming into the room in pajamas as well, a red and black plaid flannel set, drying her hands on a small towel and wearing a wide headband, her face pink and free of makeup. “How did you know it was Fox? Did you ask who it was?”
“I heard him say knock knock when he knocked on the door. I knew it was him because I know what his voice sounds like,” Ivy said in a practical tone.
“Well… that’s good, but next time you need to come and get me, okay? We need to be aware of strangers.”
“But Fox isn't a stranger, Mommy. He’s Fox.”
He fought back a smile as he looked down and avoided Dana’s eye, not wanting to accidentally burst out laughing.
“Yes, honey. I understand that. Just… we need to be safe and sure, right?”
He heard Ivy take a deep breath and chanced a glance at them both. Dana was staring at Ivy with her eyebrows raised, her expression serious as she waited for an answer from her.
“Okay, Mommy. I know.”
“Thank you.” She smiled and Ivy went to hug her, saying she was sorry. Dana put the towel she was holding on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around Ivy. “We just need to be sure, that’s all. Safe and sure.”
“I know,” came Ivy’s muffled reply.
Dana patted her on the back and looked up at Fox with a smile.
“Hello,” she said and he nodded.
“Hello. Good morning. I think I might be a little early,” he said, not moving from his spot by the door.
“No,” she said, shaking her head as Ivy let go of her and turned to look at him. “We’re running a little behind. Up late last night and then slept past my alarm.”
“Well, at least breakfast and some caffeine is covered,” he said, motioning to the items in his hands.
“Thank you. It’s very much appreciated this morning.”
“Of course. Ivy, would you like a doughnut?”
“Yes!” she shouted, clapping her hands.
“How about some hot chocolate?”
“Double yes!” she shouted and they both laughed.
He walked further inside and set the drinks and food down, turning to grab his suitcase and shut and lock the door.
“Oh, I didn’t realize how involved your offer to see us to the train was,” Dana said, nodding to his suitcase. “Were you planning to become a stowaway?”
He laughed and shook his head.
“No, these are your gifts.”
“A suitcase full? Well…” She raised her eyebrows and he laughed again.
“Not exactly. But, I didn’t want you to have to worry about extra boxes and bags, so I put them in there as a suitcase is easier to manage. It’s not too heavy and it will spend the majority of the time sitting on the train, so…” He shrugged. “Plus I thought, you could fill it with gifts you get and bring them home that way. If you’d like.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” she said softly and he smiled as he shrugged again.
“Can I have a doughnut now?” Ivy asked and he laughed.
“Yes,” he said, nodding at her and then looking at Dana. “Why don’t you take this?” He handed her a coffee. “Go do what needs doing, I got this. I know where the plates are now, so we’re golden.”
She laughed as she took a sip of the coffee and looked at him in surprise.
“It’s… it’s white chocolate peppermint.”
“Yeah. You said you liked it.”
“I… I did,” she said, frowning slightly as she took another sip. “That was weeks ago. How did you remember that?”
“I’m a writer. I pay attention to the details,” he teased with a wink.
“Thank you,” she said quietly and he nodded.
“Grab a doughnut too and then go do what you need to do. You got time. Miss Ivy, could you open the bag of doughnuts while I get the plates?”
“Okay!”
She opened the bag as he smiled and walked into the kitchen. Opening the cupboard, he glanced around the clean room and changed his mind. Closing the cupboard, he took some paper towels off the roll and walked back to the table.
“Let’s do paper towels instead so we don’t have dishes to wash.”
“Good idea,” Dana said, sipping her coffee again.
He distributed the doughnuts onto the paper towels and handed the round chocolate covered one to Dana. She smiled as she accepted it and he made shooing motions with his hands, silently telling her to finish her tasks. She took a bite of her doughnut and nodded as she left the room.
“So,” he said as he sat next to Ivy. “You excited for Christmas, Ivy?”
“Uh huh!” she said, licking her fingers clean of the pink icing of her sprinkle doughnut. “Tonight we’re having my birthday party since we live far away and my auntie and cousins and grandma and grandpa couldn’t be here for my real birthday.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“Yeah,” she said, taking a bite.
“Are you excited for Santa?”
“Well,” she said thoughtfully and he had a feeling she was about to say something incredibly insightful, so he listened very intently. “Jack at my school told me that Santa wasn’t real. That people who think he is are babies.”
“He did, huh?”
“Yeah,” she whispered as her head dropped and she sighed deeply.
“And how do you feel about it? What do you think?”
“I think he is,” she whispered again. “But…”
“But what?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee and watching her closely.
“We don’t have a fireplace,” she said, looking up at him.
“No,” he said, looking around. “No, you don’t.”
“Auntie Missy has a fireplace.”
“Okay,” he said, beginning to understand where she was going.
“When we lived at our other apartment, we didn’t have a fireplace too, but Santa came there and brought me presents.”
“So you’re wondering how he did it?”
“Jack said he can’t get into your house if you don’t have a fireplace. But he did get in our apartment.” She looked at him and tears filled her eyes. “Jack said I was a liar. But I’m not.”
In that moment, he never hated a child as much as he hated the unknown Jack. Not even Thomas Zang, who had pushed him down on the blacktop when they were in second grade, causing him to scrape his hands and knees, and he had hated him for years after that.
Years.
But this Jack kid was now at the top of his list.
“Hey,” he said, picking up an extra paper towel and dabbing her eyes gently. “First of all, Jack is wrong, so let’s just forget anything he had to say, okay?”
“Okay,” Ivy said, sniffling as she cried quietly.
He glanced toward the bathroom where he knew Dana was getting ready, but she must not have heard Ivy crying. Not knowing what else to do, he reached for her and she came willingly into his arms, settling sideways on his lap and crying on his shoulder.
What a little shit, he thought about Jack as he shook his head. He wondered how long Ivy had been holding that worry inside and hoped it was not too long.
“You know,” he said softly, his chin on top of her head. “Santa has magic that only he can use.”
“I know,” she cried and he rubbed her back gently.
“Everything at the North Pole has magic in some way, but not like Santa. His magic is different.”
“How?”
“Well,” he said, glancing toward the bathroom again, but not finding any help. “What has your mom told you?”
“That he’s magic because he can… can bring presents to everybody. And he… he’s the only one who can fly the sleigh,” she said, sniffling through her sentences.
“That’s right.”
“And that he can get in to bring presents to houses with no fireplaces because he has special-”
“Keys,” he finished for her and she nodded her head against his shoulder. “That’s right.”
“But Jack said he didn’t have keys.”
“How would Jack know he didn’t have keys?”
She pulled back and looked at him with a frown. He smiled and brushed her hair back from her wet face.
“Jack lives here, where we live. He’s not from the North Pole and he’s definitely not magic,” he said and she stared at him, her blue eyes wide as she took in what he said. “Unless Jack has been in the sleigh with Santa delivering the presents, which I know he hasn’t, then he doesn’t know anything about it.”
“He uses his special key to get in houses with no fireplaces?” she asked and he nodded.
“But it’s such a special key that people who are not magical can’t see it. Santa could hold it right in front of your face and you wouldn’t even see it.”
“This close?” she asked, putting her left hand in front of her face.
“Yup,” he said, nodding his head. “It’s golden and sparkling with magic, but we can’t see it because we aren’t magical people from the North Pole.”
“Wow,” she breathed, dropping her hand into her lap.
“I know,” he said, nodding his head again. “Pretty cool, huh?”
“Yeah,” she whispered, looking at the apartment door. “So he can open the door with his magic key and come in to leave me presents?”
“If you were going to be here, he absolutely would. But, he’ll probably just go down the chimney at your auntie’s house. I think that he likes doing that the best because it’s cold out in his sleigh and the fireplace chimneys are nice and toasty. It probably warms him up, especially his butt.” She looked at him, her eyes wide before she started to laugh and he smiled at her. “I’m sure he likes a warm butt.”
She laughed harder and he rubbed her back again as he laughed softly.
“You feel better now?”
“Yeah,” she laughed. “Santa has a warm booty butt when he goes down the chimney.”
“You bet he does,” he said, giving her a quick hug. “Now how about you eat your doughnut and drink your hot chocolate, so we can get to the train station?”
“Okay!” she said, getting off his lap and sitting back in her chair.
She seemed much better as she ate, wondering about how Santa could have all the toys for all the children in one bag on his sleigh.
“Maybe… maybe every time he stops, it fills up again,” she said, drinking her hot chocolate and wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Maybe it has magic that fills the bag with the present for the next house every time he leaves one at a different house.”
“You know, that makes sense. I think it’s entirely possible,” he replied.
“What’s possible?” Dana asked and he turned his head, rising from his seat at the sight of her.
She was dressed simply, but differently than he had ever seen and he was struck again by her beauty. She had on dark jeans, with black knee high boots over them, and a dark slate gray sweater with very tiny golden stars. Her hair was in a loose side braid, wisps of it falling around her face. Her makeup was minimal, though a bit more than he usually saw her wear and the effect of it all was stunning.
“You okay?” she asked, smiling at him as he stood rooted to the spot.
“Yeah,” he said, clearing his suddenly dry throat. “You look really good.”
“Oh… thank you,” she said, her cheeks flushing with color. “Ivy have you finished your food?”
“Yes, I’m done.”
“Okay, come and brush your teeth and then get dressed, please.”
Ivy got off the chair and walked into the bathroom, Dana following behind her.
Fox sat back down, seeing those tiny golden stars in his mind, wondering why they drew him the way they did, but knowing there was no reason. It was simply Dana and her beauty she wore with effortless ease.
He shook his head and let out a shaky breath, needing to get a hold of himself. He cleared up the last remaining bit of Ivy’s doughnut and put it into the bag. Clearing away his own, he gathered any other trash so there was nothing left behind while they were gone.
In the bathroom, he heard Ivy and Dana laughing as she brushed and fixed her hair.
When Ivy came out, she was wearing the outfit she had worn on her birthday, including her headband, her hair done in two loose braids resembling Dana’s single one.
“Now everyone will wish you a happy birthday,” he said, smiling at her and she nodded happily.
Dana came out pushing a large wheeled suitcase and carrying two backpacks.
“That’s all you have?” he asked, reaching for the suitcase.
“We enigmatic women like to travel light,” she said with a smile, handing Ivy her backpack and slipping on her own.
“But the gifts?” he asked, wondering how they all fit inside one bag along with their clothes and other items.
“Oh! I order the gifts online and have them sent to my sister’s. I’ll wrap them once we’re there.”
“Genius,” he said.
“I know,” she replied and he laughed.
“Okay, let’s get going.”
They put on their coats and Dana locked the door as they walked out.
He carried both suitcases down the stairs, even though she tried to take her own, he would not hear it. Instead, she held the trash bag from their quick breakfast, throwing it into a trash can when they reached the bottom floor.
Once outside, they talked as they walked at a comfortable pace, having nearly twenty minutes to reach the station.
When they had, they stood on the platform waiting for it to arrive, making small talk and people watching. It was crowded and a few people called out happy birthday to Ivy who beamed as she thanked them.
“Genius, again, having her wear that,” he said quietly to Dana, nodding at Ivy’s headband, remembering how she had said she wanted Ivy to have separation of birthday and Christmas.
“Not just a pretty face,” she said with a shrug and he chuckled.
Their train was announced and Ivy clapped, bouncing on her feet. Dana took off her backpack and unzipped it. Taking out a medium sized box wrapped in red shiny paper with silver bells, and tied with a silver ribbon, she handed it to him.
“Don’t open it until Christmas,” she said and he nodded with a grin as he took it from her.
“Same with the suitcase. Mind the stickers and let it sit undisturbed until Christmas Eve evening at the earliest.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him and his stomach suddenly ached knowing they were about to leave.
“Here it comes!” Ivy shouted and they all watched as the train pulled in and stopped.
People came off and then they made their way aboard, Fox following them to help with the luggage. He made sure it was secure and then he turned to them to say goodbye.
“Have fun with your family. Eat lots of goodies and stay up late. And laugh. A lot.”
Ivy giggled and he hugged her to him with one arm, the other holding his gift.
“All aboard!” the conductor called.
Fox looked at Dana and she bit her lip. Bending his head, he kissed her cheek, the first he had ever done so, and whispered goodbye. She drew in a breath and he stepped back as the train whistle blew.
“Bye. Merry Christmas,” he said, smiling at both of them, Ivy echoing his words to him, before he turned and walked to the door.
Looking back once more, he waved quickly and hurried down the steps and onto the platform, just as the train began to lurch forward.
He turned again and saw them at the window, Ivy waving excitedly and Dana staring at him with the same expression she’d had when he left after Ivy’s birthday dinner.
He smiled and waved as the train began to take off in earnest, walking down the platform to keep up with it. Ivy laughed and Dana suddenly covered her mouth. He kept his eyes on her until he could not walk any further, waving until the train was completely out of sight.
He dropped his hand and stood stock still on the platform, as people bustled around him and the next train's arrival time was announced.
Breathing hard, he placed a hand on his chest, feeling as though his heart had stayed on the train and was now traveling away without him, leaving him feeling empty.
