i want to give ed some love because UGH i wanna pinch his cheeks and spoon feed him gravy◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚
By the time the two scam artists dragged themselves back to the cul-de-sac, they looked absolutely unequivocally wrecked.
Sweaty, red-faced, shirts rumpled, breathing hard like they’d run a marathon… or been thoroughly tickled half to death by vengeful peers.
Which, technically, they had.
Ed was waiting by the sidewalk, happily humming to himself while stacking bottle caps in a pyramid. He looked up as they approached, beaming wide and knocking over the tower for the fifth time.
“Oh boy! Eddy! Double D! You’re back! I missed you, you little dickens you!”
Eddy stopped dead in his tracks, eyes narrowing. “Ed.”
“Yuh-huh?” Ed blinked innocently.
“Where the heck were you when we were getting tortured within an inch of our lives?” Eddy demanded, stomping up and giving Ed a shove (which did absolutely nothing to Ed’s unmovable frame). “We got jumped! Tickled half to death! Where were you?!”
Ed tilted his head. “You did not say you needed me.”
“WHAT?! YOU ALWAYS KNOW WE NEED YOU, YOU LUGNUT!” Eddy threw his hands up. “Unbelievable! You missed the whole show with your selfish self preservation!” He accused, as if he’d never weasled his way out of retribution for his actions and left Ed and Ed to take on the brunt of the storm.
Edd rubbed his arm awkwardly. “Eddy, really, there’s no need to-”
“Oh, no, Sockhead, not this time! If Ed wants to know what he missed so badly, I say we show him.”
Ed’s eyes sparkled. “Show me, Eddy?” He asked as a grin spread across his face.
Eddy’s grin turned slow and impish. “Yeah. Come here, ya big oaf.”
Before Ed could question it, Eddy pounced. He tackled Ed onto the grass with surprising force, straddling his waist and digging in mercilessly at his belly.
“LEMME SHOW YA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, BIG GUY!”
“BWAAAAAHAHAHAHA!! EDDY!! I AM SOHOHORRY!!”
“Oh no, it’s too late for sorries now! This is what you missed!” Eddy sneered, scribbling fast and ruthless across Ed’s sides, his fingers practically vibrating with the effort. “Hope you’re enjoying the show!”
“EDDYYYYY! I CAHAHAHAN’T—BAHAHAHAHAD IDEA—BAHAHAHA!!”
“Eddy,” Edd tried, “do you really think this is productive?”
“Either help or get outta the way, Sockhead!”
Double D sighed. “Oh dear…” But his hands hovered uncertainly above Ed’s thrashing body. “Ed, do you… mind if I…?”
“PLEHEHEASE! SAVE MEEE—OR NOT!! I DOHOHON’T KNOW!!”
Eddy barked a laugh. “You heard him, Double D! No mercy!”
Double D nervously bit the inside of his cheek. He felt wrong participating in a revenge that was not Ed’s fault, but he did look like he was enjoying it. What would be the harm?
Eventually, he knelt beside them, far more reserved as opposed to Eddy who had immediately taken the chance to leap onto Ed and practically cling onto him. His fingers brushed lightly up Ed’s sides, skimming over his ribs with feather-soft touches.
The difference was immediate. Ed’s laughter somehow grew even louder, more frantic despite the gentler approach.
“EEEHEHEHEHE DOUBLE-DEEHEHE THAT TIHIHIHICKLES SO BAD!”
“Oh my, you’re quite sensitive here, aren’t you?” Double D mused, his face going pink. “I didn’t realize…” He always enjoyed Ed’s contagious laughter, deep and rumbly.
His hand slid up between Ed’s shoulder blades, intending to soothe—but the moment his fingertips lightly scratched at the spot just below the center of Ed’s back, Ed shrieked.
“EEEEEEEK! STOP! STOP STOP STOP!!”
Eddy and Edd froze.
Eddy blinked. “Uh… he’s never said stop before.”
Double D pulled his hands back immediately, looking horrified. “Ed? I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you alright?”
They both stared at Ed, who lay panting, wide-eyed, and flushed.
And then, to their utter confusion, Ed tilted his head. “Why did you stop?”
Eddy’s jaw dropped. “Y-You screamed bloody murder to stop, you idiot. That’s usually the part where people stop!”
“But it was funny,” Ed said simply. “I was having fun.”
Double D stared. “Ed… do you… enjoy being tickled?”
“Of course I do, Double D!” Ed beamed. “It makes my tummy feel happy and my toes feel like tap-dancers!”
Eddy groaned and flopped onto Ed’s chest. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. I was trying to punish you.”
Ed giggled as Eddy’s face mashed into his shirt and encouragingly lifted up his arms, leaving him defenseless. “Oh no… don’t tickle me again!”
Double D’s face burned, finding himself plagued with a little second hand embarrassment. “That sounds rather like… reverse psychology, doesn’t it?”
Eddy smirked against Ed’s chest. “You’re so weird, Ed.”
Then he sat up. “Fine. You asked for it.”
“Nohohohoho I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!” Ed howled, already laughing as Eddy dug back into his belly with fast, scribbling fingers.
“You love it, ya weirdo.”
“I DOOOHOHOHON’T!!”
Double D sighed, exasperated but fond. “Well… if you insist…” He resumed his gentle ministrations at Ed’s ribs, making sure to avoid the devastating spot on his back… for now.
Eddy’s fingers were a blur as he pounced again like a determined cowboy trying to tame a bucking bronco. Or an unruly kitten with zero concepts of personal space. “You wanted the show? You're gettin’ the show!” he announced dramatically, then went right back to work on Ed’s belly.
“EHEHEHEHEHEH!!! EDDYYYYY!! MERCYYYY!” Ed cried out, arms waving in surrender, only to accidentally whack himself in the face. He didn’t even seem to notice. His cheeks were glowing pink, eyes squinting shut in ticklish agony. Or bliss. Probably both, knowing Ed.
Double D covered his mouth, stifling a chuckle despite himself. “Honestly, Eddy, I don’t believe this is teaching him a lesson at all.” He gazed down at Ed in fondness, his skilled fingers wriggling into Ed’s ribs.
Between the two of them, Ed was reduced to a happy, wiggly puddle of giggles. Eddy’s rough teasing and Double D’s sweet technique made for a combo Ed could barely withstand yet clearly loved, no matter how he
Eventually, Eddy flopped down beside him, exhausted. “Okay. Okay. I’m not mad anymore.”
“I knew you couldn’t stay mad,” Double D smiled, resting beside them. “Ed’s laughter is quite… disarming, isn’t it?”
Eddy rolled his eyes again, but a grin pulled at his mouth. “Yeah, yeah… stupid contagious laugh.”
“I love you guys,” Ed sighed happily, eyes closed.
Eddy groaned and smacked Ed’s arm. “Oh shut up, ya dork.”
Double D chuckled. “We love you too, Ed.” He responded, already knowing Eddy felt the same way.
Edward had been shouting his head off since the moment he'd opened his eyes, finding himself surrounded by an endless, featureless white expanse. More concerning was the fact that even if there had been a reason to turn around, he couldn't: he was kneeling on some kind of surface padded with purple cushions, his arms raised over his head, dangling from chains secured to nothing, and he could feel padded stocks around his ankles, his feet dangling under his ass. He couldn't even scrunch them - elastic chords pulled his big toes back.
He was startled when he felt a saccharine voice behind him.
"Dear Tama, The Auction would like to thank you for your continued support. Please, accept the enclosed as a token of our appreciation for your patronage as well as expertise. We hope it is to your liking."
The voice chuckled gleefully. "They're so sweet! Aren't they sweet?"
"Who the hell are you?! What did you do to me?!" he snapped, struggling to break free.
Tama was beyond delighted. The pipsqueak was adorable with his long blond hair whipping from side to side, but his well-defined musculature made him more than just cute. And he was perfectly vulnerable, bare-chested and barefoot, at her mercy, or lack thereof.
"Don't worry honey, you'll be back in your own canon in no time. I'm just going to have a little bit of fun first."
"What kind of f-fuHUCK!" burst out of him when he felt a pair of long, manicured nails prod at his left flank. He hadn't heard the woman approach, but thankfully the assault lasted less than a second.
"Stop that, I'll punch you into next Thursday, you hag!" he yelled, twisting to try to turn around, and failing to capture more than just a vague outline of the tall, yellow-garbed woman towering behind him.
A moment passed. Then, "Hehehhehehy I shahahaid stohhohop you crahahahazy wihihihitcch!!!"
Uncontrollable titters spilled out of Ed as two sets of fingernails were now skittering up and down his sides, gliding kiss-light along the sensitive skin, and eliciting peal after peal of indignant cackles. "Hahahahahaha!!! Cuhuhuhut ihihihit ohohohout Ill behehheat youohoho uhuhahahahahhahaahahahah!!!"
A few moments later than she'd intended - his reactions were too adorable - Tama switched to squeezing his sides and hipbone, and though that did elicit plenty of high-pitched squeaks that Ed despised with all of himself, it was clear that it wasn't as bad as her nails, so, naturally, she switched back to her previous method, interspersing the occasional squeeze to keep him on his toes. The result was Ed's laughter rising by an octave not even a minute after she'd started.
"Hahahahahahah youohohoh bihahahahahahaaha NO NOHOT THahAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAH hahahaahahah!!"
Tama chuckled. It was cute that he was still trying to speak, but even cuter to see him go from insults to protests. It was also interesting that sloooowly dragging her nails proved more effective than administering quick scritches, as confirmed by his frantic thrashing and incoherent objections.
After a couple of minutes, her nails migrated up, towards his ribs. From the way the pitch of his laughter lowered angrily, she could quickly tell were not as sensitive, but there was something infinitely gratifying about seeing him try to reflexively jump up when her fingernails lingered on his bottom ribs a moment too long.
"Leheheheht meheheh goho youho frehEHEK!!! Noho dohohont do thHAHAAH!! Hahahahaahahah!!"
Next she tested his toned abs, starting with the same method she'd used on his sides, but she quickly realized that applying slightly more pressure rewarded her with the most satisfying squeaking cackles.
"Now, where should I try next?" she whispered in his ear, addressing him for the first time since she'd started. "Pits or feet?"
And just like that, her nails ravaged his downturned soles. She gave them the royal treatment: she tested his heels, arches, the balls of his feet, his toes - the stems, pads, right under, in-between - and even his instep and the sides, which proved more sensitive than either of them imagined. In particular, going light on his toes had him let out these adorable tiny "eeps!", while pressing her thumbs into the very center of his arches resulted in deep belly laughter; but Tama found gently tickling the sides of his feet to be even more entertaining, because while they weren't as sensitive, they seemed to piss Ed off even more, like he resented a "minor" spot like that could feel so ticklish.
By the time she was done, his face was beet-red and a layer of perspiration had coated his skin, but still she did not relent, and when he felt her nails in his underarms he realized that it could in fact, get worse.
"GHAHAHAHHAHAH!! HAHAHAHH STAHAHHAHAHAHAAPP!!! I CAHAHHAAHAHN'T BREEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAAHTHEEE!!!"
"Just a minute, dear."
Her gentle raking at his hollows had him trying to burst out of his own chest Alien-style, or so Tama surmised from the desperate arc of his back, but that only spurred her on.
A few minutes or so after tears filled his eyes and his hair began to stick to his forehead, he felt the torturous nails finally leave his trapped form. He slumped in his bonds, taking deep breaths.
"Congrats sweetie, you've made it through the test round! I'm so proud of you!" tittered Tama, clapping her hands. "Wow, these charts are really accurate! And what're these for? Oh, that's interesting, I thought it would be for your tummy or your feet, but... do you want to guess?"
Edward had been focusing on recovering his breath, but mostly making a show of it as he tried to figure out a way out of his exceedingly weird predicament. Hoping it would buy him a few more seconds, he answered, "No. But I'm sure you can't wait to tell me."
And that was when the legions of hell struck, feeling like a myriad feathers swiping back and forth on his sides.
Edward had never felt anything like that. It was just a pair of feather dusters, but he thought he could feel every single plume bend against and crawl on his skin, lighting his nerves on fire.
"But I really gotta know, I can't stop until you tell me!"
Tama was no stranger to teasing. She knew full well that a headstrong lee would be dead set on not telling her if her stopping meant that he'd conceded something. And she was counting on it.
"Mh, guess I have no choice but to continue!" she mock-sighed as she doubled her efforts to make Ed cry.
But she may have underestimated either how flustered he was or how much it tickled, because only a few moments after a wheezing fit he yelled "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEEHSSSS!!! WOOOHOHORSSSE!!! IHIHIT'S WOHOHOHOHORSSEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!! STOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHPPP!!!"
"But of course! Silly me, your sides were already more sensitive than your feet, it was a no-brainer!" she mused out loud without letting up her strokes one bit. "Next question! Does it... tickle more than your armpits?"
After a few more passes of the dusters for good luck, Tama did give the poor shrimp a breather as she began to pore over the rest of her kit.
"Fucking... piehece ohof..." Ed trailed off as he tried to quench the burning in his lungs, blinking away the moisture in his eyes.
Tama ignored him, giving him a few more moments to recover as she finished up her reading.
Then, she put down the instruction manual and asked, "Now, where should I go next? Tummy or pits?"
"Tummy!" exclaimed Ed before he could stop himself, the childish word leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
"Tummy it is! Good pick, cutiepie! But when should I tickle your tummy?" she asked pensively.
"Never," he grunted, earning a chuckle.
"Oh no no, my nails are about to play with your tum-tum real soon, but your tum-tum when?"
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
His anger drowned out the sound of rustling paper.
"It says here your tummy was the most sensitive when you were six. So that's when!" she trilled, and Ed heard the faint clicking sound of a dial being rotated three times.
"These charts go waaaay back! Before your brush with human alchemy, your worst spots were your tummy and your feet. But that changed as you grew up, when you got your automails, and also when and after you got your arm and leg back!" exposited Tama as she inched closer to Edward, the sound of her encroaching voice reminding him that he should break out of his bonds asap. Too bad the plot won't allow it.
"Ready or not, here I come!" she hummed, allowing him to see her hands close in on him from either side before her long, painted nails became acquainted with his abs again; but despite her technique, pressure, movements being the same, it somehow felt worse than before.
"Oooh, is it bad? How bad is it?"
Tama's cheerful curiosity was doing a number on Edward's self-control. Yes, it was bad, and it was taking him every ounce of his focus not to burst there and then. Just what the hell was going on?
"Is that a smile I seeee? I think soooo!"
"Ssh-Suhut y-your f-!"
He was about to burst, it would have been so easy to push him over the edge by switching spots, or picking up the pace... but Tama had seen FMA: Brotherhood.
"What's wrong? Is the widdle guy too ticklish for Tama?"
"But you are! You're my fun-sized lovely tiggle toy! Tiggle tiggle tiggle!"
"NNNNAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Dohohon't tehehehase mehehehHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!" he protested, trying to sound intimidating, but only succeeded in being far too cute for Tama to cut him any slack.
It wasn't as unbearable as when Tama was going after his sides or even his pits, but it was... befuddling. He hadn't been that ticklish there before. Was there a grain of truth to her lunatic ramblings? If so, what else could she do?
As he gleefully cackled his head off, unwanted memories of tickle fights with his brother came flooding in. They wouldn't be too long-lived, however, because Tama did stop shortly after. Not out of mercy, no: there was so much more, and so much worse in store, she couldn't have him deplete his energy yet.
As he got his breath, muttering a few curses under it, Tama happily studied his charts.
There were a couple of twin peaks, he second highest, which started growing all the way back since his first attempt at human alchemy. When he lost his limbs, the remaining ones had gotten more sensitive. So Tama had set her eyes on the moment his right foot and left underarm were at their most ticklish, more than they had any right to be.
She turned the dial.
"Wh-what was that? What did you do?!" asked Ed, suddenly shooting up to attention as he heard the sound that preceded disaster again.
He didn't hear her come up behind him, but he heard her voice next to his ear as she stooped down to say, "Now I'm going to be mean for a little while."
Then her nails struck, and Edward couldn’t understand anything anymore.
First, Tama decided to explore, starting from his left pit. Her nails covered the whole surface at first, just to have him in hysterics from the get-go, then she began to look for the perfect storm. She tried quick scratches, she tried dragging her nail lightly, she even tried using her knuckles in the middle of his hollows.
Ed’s hysteria was constant, but it was easy to tell what worked best. Pressing hard with her knuckles worked best right under his pits, while dragging her nails around the outer ridges had him expel that furious laughter that Tama found so endearing – the last gasps of an ego she’d soon break. But it was no mystery that the absolute worst for poor Edward came when the sharp nails unleashed a dance of quick scribbles on the top part of his armpit, and then in the very center. That caused Edward to start wheezing before the sensation became too overwhelming for anything less than screaming laughter.
Satisfied with the level of hysteria she’d extracted from his upperbody, Tama shifted her attention to his right foot, which she’d been blindly scratching at until that moment, curling her fingers upward as the downturned sole tried and failed to escape her touches, the toe restraints keeping it perfectly smooth and vulnerable for her.
Unfortunately for Ed, she’s already been using one of the most effective methods without realizing: dragging her nails up and down his arch. But that did not dissuade her from painstakingly exploring every other part of his foot, from the heel, to the instep, to the ball, to the side, to the toes.
She found that only the base of his toes garnered a reaction as strong as his arch, so she targeted both to keep him from getting too accustomed to the sensation.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! STHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHP!!! YOU GOHAHAHTTA STOHOHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAPPP!!! PLEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHSEE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Too bad his pleas were so precious, Tama wanted to hear a lot more. So, she kept tickling him, targeting his most sensitive spots with the worst possible method for as long as she could before suddenly moving to a different spot, never letting Ed get used to the tickling. She drank in his laughter as it rose in pitch and grew more wheezing, she watched the desperate intensity of his fight diminish at every unceasing touch, his face and chest turning deep red and his hair becoming ever more disheveled. He gradually stopped protesting and pleading, first to save energy, then because he had none left to do anything other than laugh.
Tama considered playing games with him, asking him questions he would struggle to answer in the off-chance it’d get her to leave his pit or foot alone, but he was in no condition to understand her, and she also found that she wanted to keep devoting all her attention to making every single touch of hers the most excruciating it could be.
Edward was rather resilient, which allowed Tama to get her fill before his vision began to fill with red spots; at that point, she could tell that she had to stop. She stepped away from him, and he slumped in his bonds, eyes closed as he pumped air in and out of his lungs.
“Poor dearie, I’ve really worn you out, haven’t I?” cooed Tama, knowing he wasn’t going to reply. The poor guy had no idea he hadn’t seen the worst of it yet.
She made her way back to the charts and turned the dial.
“N-No! Noho more!” pleaded Edward.
“Oh sweetie, don’t worry, you can rest a bit! We got time,” she reassured as if she wasn’t the one tormenting him. If he’d been able to see the baby oil and detailing brush on the table, would he have understood what they were for?
“Do you know at what point in your life you were at your most ticklish?” she asked. Then, to sweeten the deal, “I might be nicer if you guess right!”
Ed took his time answering, as they both knew he was stalling to regain his breath. “When… whan I was a child… before the automail. At… 6 years old?”
Tama tutted. “No no no! All in all, you’re more ticklish now than when you were a child. No, it was right after you regained your limbs. Which means…”
She pressed her fingertip – just one, lightly – into the center of his right underarm.
Edward shrieked. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
Tama had seen it on the chart, but seeing it in practice was a whole another matter, her eyes filling with glee; conversely, Edward was left in a state of utter denial at what had just left his mouth, at the utterly searing sensation that burst its way into his brain from that single touch. It was as if those nerves were brand new, and having never felt anything before, they didn’t know how to dial down their feedback one bit.
“That doesn’t bode well for you,” she chuckled. “Tell you want. Since you’re so adorable, I’ll play a game with you. If you win, I’ll let you go right away.”
“And if I lose?”
“I tickle you until you pass out. Which I was going to do anyway.”
“…What’s the game?”
Tama beamed. “I’m going to write something on your foot with this marker. Winde it’s just one word, you get one guess! Now, pay attention.”
She uncapped the red marker. As soon as the thin tip touched down on the heel of his left foot, Edward’s whole body spasmed as if he was being electrocuted. “FUUUUUUUHUCK!”
Tama giggled. “Ok, brace yourself. First letter…”
A scream accompanied the first line she drew. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”
Ed thrashed, bucked, convulsed, but there was nothing he could do to get his foot away from the lines the marker drew next, or from making the sensation manageable in any way. “AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! NAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAH!!!”
He’d actually felt somewhat confident about this game – if he was that sensitive, there was no way he wouldn’t feel what she was writing, right? Unfortunately, the sensation was so intense that it completely overloaded his thinking, making him unable to focus on what exactly was being written. Tama had also been sneaky about it, because most of the word she’d written on his arch after starting on a slightly less sensitive spot.
“Almost done!” sang Tama as she finished the last letter. “So?”
Ed had no idea. No, he couldn’t withstand any more tickling, he had to get it right. She had started with, with a series of straight lines, yes, and then some curvier ones? And he was almost positive they repeated themselves…
“Five seconds,” she trilled.
“Moon!” he yelled. Tama said nothing. “Is, is that right?”
He heard her walk away, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. He heard the sound of a bottle opening, then its contents being squirted out. A wet rubbing of hands, and Tama’s steps came up behind him again.
“I’m sorry, the correct answer was ‘EGG’” she answered as she pressed her palms into his right pit and against the graffiti’d surface of his left foot.
“Please, stop, I can’t take it, I caAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GYAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!”
Pure madness, his begging obliterated in no time just by four fingernails lightly scratching at the outer ridge of his hollow. Just to let it sink in how screwed he was. Then, her digits moved towards the center of his underarm.
“Oh, you laugh so good!! It must tickle you sooooo much, how can you take it?”
When the detailing brush doubled the tickling that had turned Ed’s nervous system into a hysterical supernova, his eyes bugged out and his jaw slacked, but no sound came out. The detailing brush scrubbed at his sole with a passion, as if to erase the word he’d gotten wrong, while further up, her nails doled out an equal share of lunacy. Not even banging the back of his head against his (padded) restraints provided any sort of distraction.
If there was something he could have said to make it end, he would have – anything, he would have even confessed that he’d had to buy children’s clothes not three years prior. He would have led this crazed tickler to his brother and let her have him if it meant that she’d never touch him in those spots, at that precise point in time, ever again. He would have begged her to target anywhere else, for however long she liked, if he’d been able to speak.
But there was nothing else that Tama would rather be doing, so she gave him no reprieve, forcing him into the most exhausting workout of his life. Each pass of the brush, each curl of her fingers pushed him a little father from the edge of the brink, deeper into a maddening abyss.
When she saw that he had no energy left to try to make sense of what he was suffering or escape it, she kept going for a little while longer, until he could no longer keep his head up.
That was when Tama finally let up, leaving him to take deep, broken breaths. She actually crossed in front of him, but he lacked the strength to raise his eyes, so she simply planted a kiss on his very damp blond head. “I’ve had a blast. Let’s do this again sometime,” she chirped as she committed every inch of her little bundle of agonizing joy to memory before pressing the ejection button, sending him back to his canon.
She hadn’t had it in her to make him pass out, but she would have loved to give him some proper aftercare. The guys at the Auction knew what she liked, but they could neglect these more humane bits.
As the tickling space began to fold in on itself, Tama wondered if she should send Ed a nice fruit basket.
Prompt 23 - "Wait a minute, you're not ticklish, are you?"
A/N: they are too cute omfg
…
“Wait a minute, you’re not ticklish, are you?” Stede asked, smiling incredulously.
“Ticklish?” Ed scoffed. “Yeah, no. I don’t think so, mate.”
“Are you… absolutely sure about that?” Stede raised an eyebrow at him. “Because it sure looked to me like–”
“Pff. Well, try it if you don’t believe me!” Blackbeard held his arms out to the sides, looking at Stede expectantly.
This was certainly a surprise. “Well…” Stede’s smile softened into something that made Ed’s insides tighten. “Alright then.” He stretched his fingers slowly, then brought them around just beside each of Ed’s sides. “How about here?” He prodded gently, watching the spots as Ed’s eyes watched him.
A few pinches, and Ed’s gaze snapped down to where the hands were on his sides. What the hell was this feeling? He squirmed slightly, tensing up.
“You…sure this doesn’t tickle?” Stede asked slowly, poking a finger into the front of his lower ribs and getting a startled intake of breath in response. “It … kind of seems like it does.” He pressed in harder, and Ed’s arms flinched in protectively.
“Well you’re- you’re doing it weird!” Ed responded, grumbling and a bit frazzled.
“What d’ya mean?” Stede asked, softening his touch to try to ensure he wasn’t harming his pirate companion.
Ed hissed. “All light n’ shit like that. Feels weird.” He flinched backwards.
“Ah.” Stede observed. “Well, that is still tickling.” He squeezed Ed’s sides a bit more harshly with forefinger and thumb. He didn’t so much as flinch at that. “Are you more used to harder tickling? Doesn’t work on everyone, I’d say.”
Ed watched him, listening. These lighter, more gentle tracings of fingers were tingling and distracting, nothing like the rare harsh grabs for his ribs that he’d had in his mind whenever someone brought up the idea of tickling. He’d been quick to overcome reacting to those. But this… this was different. Stede’s fingers brushed against the skin peeking out at the bottom of his shirt and Edward nearly leapt backwards from his reach.
“Alright!” He said, higher than usual. “I guess maybe. A little bit. Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”
“It’s quite alright.” Stede smiled at him, steady and gentle, reassuring. “I’m rather sensitive to both, I’m afraid.”
“Oh really?” Ed asked, eyes snapping back to the other captain.
Stede looked away bashfully, and something in Ed’s stomach tightened again. “Well, since I let you try it out on me, I think it’s only fair…”
Stede’s eyes widened, shooting back to Blackbeard. “Wait- but I– oh dear!” He brought up his hands with a wide, nervous grin on his face. “Edward! P-Please take it easy on me! Wait–!”
~Ehehehe the brain maggots won and I can’t say I’m upset by it (＾⩌＾). I’ve binged this show enough times to be put into all kinds of moods by these men, so I might as well write out my feelings. This is set right after S1 Ep. 7, so if you haven’t watched up to there, expect some spoilers! For anyone else who has pirate-based thought goblins, I hope you Enjoy!~
Lee: Edward
Ler: Stede
Summary: Stede goes on a small rant about what happened on their latest adventure, though Edward isn’t fully listening. When he notices this, he calls the man out, but is met with a rather fascinating reaction.
Warnings: mild Our Flag Means Death spoilers! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!
Bobbing with the current, the Revenge drifted peacefully through the sea. Most of the crew was on-deck, chatting and messing around in their moment of peace. However, in the captain’s quarters, two men relaxed, one info-dumping while the other thumbed through random numbers of Stede’s vast collection of novels.
“And did you see that bird’s nest? They had to be Snowy Plovers, no question. Oh, I wish Lucius had brought his sketching journal.” Stede sighed dreamily, slowly pacing around the room as he spoke.
Ed hummed, not looking up from the copy of Hansel and Grettle. Stede had allowed him to browse whatever he wanted in the library, though he rarely read anything cover-to-cover. The blonde man continued, not yet noticing his companion’s lack of attention.
“There were so many interesting creatures on that island! I mean, the orange was the real treasure in it all, but I do so enjoy exploring nature when we travel.” Turning on his heel, he spun to face the bearded man once again. “What do you think, Ed?”
“Uh-huh, yeah. Good, uh, land and shit,” Edward half-heartedly replied, flipping a few more pages into the book. That’s when Stede finally noticed that he wasn’t really listening.
“Edward!” The pirate jolted, shutting the book and actually meeting Stede’s eyes. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you?” Stede huffed, crossing his arms with an almost adorable pout.
“Uh…kinda? I mean, I heard the bit about the birds…” Ed mumbled most of his response, looking away. Yeah, he’d only heard a few words of the other man’s spiel. “Fuckin’, uh…book was distracting.”
With a huff, Stede sat down beside him, picking up the book. “I’m glad you’re interested in literature, but I was talking. It’s a bit rude to ignore people, isn’t it?” While he was a bit annoyed, Stede’s tone was a joking one. He even poked the man’s ribs in a playful manner, though he hadn’t expected Ed’s flinch.
“Damn, did I hurt you?” Stede sounded worried, a profanity even slipping in. He was more panicked than a normal friend should’ve been, though neither commented on it.
“No, didn’t hurt. Takes more than a fuckin’ finger to hurt me.” Ed swatted Stede’s hand away, his beard hiding the very slight blush on his cheeks. He hadn’t felt a touch like that since…well, it’d certainly been a while. “Just felt…I dunno, fuckin’ weird.”
“Weird?” Stede spoke softly, his worry melding into confusion. What could possibly feel weird to Blackbeard? He’d only lightly poked the man, and his ribs aren’t…oh. Oh. It took everything Stede had to keep a straight face as he said his next words.
“Might your ribs be a bit sensitive, Ed?”
Edward nearly did a double-take at the words and his tone, snapping his head in the other man’s direction. “Sensitive? I’m…I’m fuckin’ Blackbeard. Sensitivity doesn’t apply to me.”
Stede rolled his eyes. Yeah right… Stifling a smirk, the blonde slowly slid his hand towards Ed’s side. Before he could do anything, though, a rough hand snatched his wrist. Edward’s eyes met his, full of some unreadable emotion.
“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Bonnet.” His tone was gruff and dark, though the emotion in his eyes gained some depth. It was almost…giddy? The word felt foreign when describing Ed, though it fit to a tee.
“Hmmm…I think I fucking do.” Using his other hand, he squeezed Edward’s side. The feeling was such a shock that a damned giggle left the dread pirate’s mouth, his arms moving to clamp to his sides.
That sound made Stede’s stomach fill with a strange fluttering feeling—one he often felt around Edward. He decided to pursue it, scooting closer and wiggling his fingers into Ed’s stomach.
The feeling wasn’t that intense through his layers of clothing, but it definitely still tickled. Biting his lip, Ed squirmed, trying to shove at Stede’s hands while still protecting himself. It should be noted, however, that he didn’t put up much of a real fight.
“My, Edward. I think someone’s a bit ticklish…” Stede chuckled, trying to slip his fingers under Ed’s arms. He’d had a small taste of the other man’s laughter, and had become hooked, He had to hear more. “I think it’d feel a bit nicer if you let out that laughter, Ed. Don’t you?”
When the eccentric man managed to wedge his fingers up to Ed’s ribs, the pirate knew he was done for. The dam broke, surprisingly bright giggles filling the quarters. They were still gruff, of course—still, the happy air was hard to ignore.
“Oh dear. I think someone’s got a case of the giggles~” Stede cooed, one hand wiggling on the man’s ribs as the other poked and spidered on his belly. Was he pushing his luck? Oh, absolutely. It was, however, well worth it to see Ed’s silly smile.
“F-fuhuhuck- Stehehede! Fuhuck ohohoff!” Twisting and wriggling around, Ed hid his face in his shoulder. The bearded man’s heavy boots skidded on the wooden floor, leaving small scuffs. Stede would deal with that later.
The feeling was…well, it wasn’t awful for Edward. He would never let the crew see him like that, of course; he had a reputation to maintain. With Stede, however, it felt nice to laugh. To let a few of his walls down without the fear of the mental rubble coming back to crush him. He wasn’t going to admit any of that, but it was true: his blush, however, was a different story.
“Well, I would, but I think I can see some pink underneath that salt and pepper of yours. Are you blushing, Eddy?” Stede used a slight nickname, his tone incredibly playful and teasing. He was determined to keep Ed giggling for as long as possible.
“Screhehew youhu!” Edward tried arching his back, but that only freed his ribs up more. Slipping his fingers beneath Ed’s leather, Stede wiggled his fingers against the thinner fabric of his undershirt. That got quite the reaction.
“GRK- FAHAHAHAHA! FUHUHUCK YOUHUHUHU!” Ed’s bright giggles ramped up to loud, raucous laughter. A few snorts worked their way in, making Stede’s heart melt. Oh, how he loved that sound…
“I must say, this is a fine symphony. I’m loving all the onomatopoeias, and your laugh is so melodic!” Wanting to be a bit more mean, Stede hummed a lovely tune by Bach, pretending that his fellow seamen’s ribs and belly were piano keys. “I just love tickling the ivories, don’t you?”
The bearded man couldn’t respond, too lost in laughter to form a coherent sentence. While it was nice to laugh his cares away, he was starting to wear out. His throat was drying up, and his sides were starting to ache. He patted Stede’s wrist, managing to speak through his amusing cackles. “S-STAHAHAP! STEHEHEDE!”
Immediately, Stede pulled away, sensing Ed’s weariness. He didn’t want to push too much. “Goodness, Ed, I-I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away. Are you alright?”
Closing his eyes, Edward took a few deep and giggly breaths. He was certainly tired, but not to an uncomfortable degree. “Qu-quit worryin’... Takes mohore than a little laugh to knohock Blackbeard down.” The red hue on his cheeks slowly subsided, his giggles drying up. Ed recovered pretty quickly.
“Good, good,” Stede sighed, smiling softly. Finally noticing that his hands were still on Edward, he scooted away, blushing. Ed cut him off before he could make a fool of himself.
“Ya know, it’s been a while since anyone’s had the balls to do somethin’ like that to me. Good on ya, Stede.” He clapped the blonde on the shoulder, though didn’t let go after. Instead, he flipped their positions, swiftly pinning Stede to the couch and nearly straddling him.
Ed made quick work of Stede’s resistance, even though there was hardly any to deal with. “There’s a reason for that, though. Wanna guess why?” He pinned the flamboyant man’s arms above his head without any hesitation. Stede couldn’t help the squeaky giggles that bubbled out of him, already squirming. He shook his head. Edward leaned down and whispered in his ear, scraggly beard hair tickling the poor man’s neck. He was in for a long evening...
Ho ho ho! Hi @silviesilviesilvie it’s me, Santa!! Oh dearest friend, I very much enjoyed bouncing around your prompts and creating this for you and I hope you enjoy your gift and have a very merry christmas and a wonderful new year! <3 Biggest thanks and applause to @hypahticklish for hosting, your hard work has not gone unnoticed and I appreciate you! @squealing-santa
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death
Pairing: Lee!Ed, Ler!Stede
Words: 2.5k
It was a relaxing evening at sea, golden sunlight gently caressing the water, creating a dancing glimmer on the surface. Ed's eyes sparkled in the reflecting light as a calm ocean breeze played with his hair, combing through it like a comforting hand. In his zen-like state, Ed took in a deep breath and stretched back with his arms reaching to the sky. He wouldn't admit it out loud (he's fucking Blackbeard) but here in this moment, he felt truly happy.
"How's it feeling, Ed?" Stede's voice cut in.
Ed, still stretching, turned his head toward Stede. "Hmm? What do you mean?" Had he been caught basking in the moment?
"Your stab wound." Stede moved his arm to point at the exposed area of skin below the hem of Ed's leather jacket.
Ed quickly brought his arms down from their stretch as he looked down at the scabbed mark on the left side of his stomach. It had been about a week since Ed had performed his signature maneuver to "avoid all the important bits" in a raid against a Spanish ship.
"Oh, it's fine."
"Hmm…mind if I take a closer look?"
"Uh, sure, go ahead."
Stede started to slowly bend down until he was at eye level with Ed's middle and gingerly placed a hand on the side of Ed's hip.
Ed froze. Something about Stede's hand at his side and the way Stede's face was so close to such a vulnerable part of him felt so…intimate? Stede's focused eye contact was making his skin tingle under the surface.
Suddenly, Stede stood back up straight and looked into Ed's eyes.
"It's looking a wee bit red still. Does it hurt at all?"
It took Ed a second to snap his brain back into focus.
"Oh, uh…I don't know. It's fine, Stede."
"Would you mind if I cleaned it a bit for you? Don't want it to get any more infected." Stede's voice was so calm and full of care, Ed couldn't help but agree to letting him.
"Sure, if you want to."
________
Down in the captain's quarters, Ed was laying on the couch, with Stede kneeling at his side, and Ed was trying his best to be nonchalant about being asked to pull up his shirt. But he would be lying if he said the action of doing it under Stede's watching eyes didn't make him blush.
Stede had a soft piece of fabric to use as a rag and a small bowl of water, in which he mixed in some lavender soap (he knew it was Ed's favorite.) He dipped a portion of the cloth into the soapy water.
"Ready? Let me know if it stings at all, but it should just take a moment."
"Aye aye, Captain."
Stede huffed a laugh and tenderly brought the wet cloth to Ed's skin.
Oh, Ed thought, that feels…nice.
Stede, ever so careful, dabbed the fabric along Ed's healing wound. He was trying his hardest to not hurt Ed at all, but when he took at quick look at Ed's face, he could see that Ed looked relaxed, and Stede let out a quiet breath he didn't know he was holding. The fact that Ed was willingly letting him care for him like this and, seeming to enjoy it, made his heart swell.
As Stede continued his cleaning, they made soft conversation, and once Stede had felt he had sufficiently cleaned the area, he grabbed another cloth to then begin to dab it dry.
"There," Stede smiled, "all clean." He set down the cloth and gently brought his hand back down, letting his thumb take a few soft swipes on the skin around the wound to ensure that he had dried it properly.
And Ed jumped with a gasp.
Stede quickly stopped and pulled his hand away.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Ed. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Ed stammered a bit. "Uh, um…no Stede, uh…no, you didn't." Ed cleared his throat.
A look of doubtful confusion graced Stede's face. "Ed, are you sure? Your reaction seemed like I had hurt you…"
Ed signed before admitting, "It wasn't pain, Stede…," his blush from earlier creeping back onto his cheeks.
"Then what….oh." Stede's eyes went wide with surprise and a smile started to grow on his face. "Ed, are you ticklish?"
Ed let out an embarrassed groan and closed his eyes, his whole body going hot now as the blush took over his entire being.
"Hmmmmmm somethinglikethat." Ed quickly confirmed in his best attempt to seem casual about it.
"Oh, Ed," Stede smiled fondly, "it's quite alright to be ticklish. Almost everyone is somewhere!"
Stede playfully gave Ed's tummy a quick scribble and Ed jumped again with a little squeak.
"Stede!"
"Alright, I'm sorry," Stede smiled in apology and pulled his hand back, "I won't do it again."
Stede shifted and stood from his kneeled spot next to Ed on the couch, grabbing the bowl of soapy water and the makeshift rags he used to clean Ed's wound. He began to make his way to the ship's washroom, but Ed's voice stopped him.
"Stede…"
Stede turned back around to look at Ed still laying on the couch.
"Yes, Ed?"
Ed didn't know how to say it. He felt like he physically couldn't. He wanted to curl up into a ball of embarrassment and be swallowed by the couch. But Ed wanted it, and knew Stede would stay true to his word unless he said something.
Ed opened his mouth to speak words, but when nothing initially came out, he sighed and brought his hands up to hide his face.
"I…don't want you to….not."
Ed could hear the slow, confused footsteps of Stede coming back to his form on the couch.
"You don't want me to not….what?"
Letting out a huff, Ed squirmed in his spot on the couch. He was hoping that'd be enough for Stede to get the hint. Goddammit.
"I don't want you to…not…t-...." Ed cleared his throat again and took a breath, "....tickle."
The footsteps stopped and it was quiet for a few seconds, but to Ed, it felt like a lifetime.
"Ed," Stede said softly, "do you want me to tickle you?"
Ed made a noise behind his hands and brought his knees up before letting them drop down to the couch again and then gave a small, hesitant nod.
Hearing the footsteps walk towards him again, Ed felt Stede's presence settle next to him with the dip of the couch cushion as Stede sat himself on the edge next to Ed's legs.
"There's no need to be embarrassed, Ed. Why, I happen to think it's actually quite fun!"
At that, Ed shifted some of his fingers to take a peek at Stede and was met with an expression so sweet and genuine that he could hardly stand it. He let out a little whine and moved his fingers back to fully hide again.
Stede giggled, thinking Ed looked absolutely adorable, and brought his hands to hover over Ed's still exposed belly, letting his finger tips just barely graze the skin. Ed's body stiffened in anticipation underneath him.
"And of course I'll tickle you."
Stede started to lightly wiggle his fingers against Ed's tummy and Ed squeaked, his back arching up for a moment before falling back to the couch. He began squirming back and forth, a flood of giggles starting to stream from his lips. The skitter of Stede's fingers on his bare skin felt like tingling, electric sparkles and oh was it a fun feeling. And the fact that it was consensually deliberate, that Stede was wanting to do this with him, made every sensation that much more sweet.
Sweeping and spidering his quick, light fingers all around Ed's belly, Stede was beginning to giggle himself, the act of tickling Ed bringing him so much joy.
Suddenly, Stede darted his hands down to test a few quick squeezes on Ed's hips and was rewarded with a surprised squeal.
Ed's hands shot down from his face and he lurched forward, his reflexes instinctively making him grab at Stede's wrists to pull them away.
Stede stopped instantly and let Ed take a breath.
"Is that spot too much, Ed?" Stede asked sincerely.
Ed paused and let go of Stede's wrists. "Um…no, not too much…just tickled a lot...but in a fun way."
A smug look made it's way onto Stede's face.
"Hmm. How about a game then?" Stede gently pushed down on Ed's shoulders to lead him back to his laying position on the couch. He then cupped his hands around Ed's elbows and maneuvered his arms above his head before letting go and sitting back. Stede smirked.
"Keep your arms up, Ed."
Ed's eyes went wide and he bit his bottom lip, already fighting back more giggles at those words.
"Mmmhmmhmm, and…what if I can't?"
Stede raised his eyebrows and wiggled his fingers. "I think we both know the answer."
That made Ed pull his hands down to hide his face again when, "Shit!," he put them back up above his head.
Stede laughed. "Trying to lose already, Ed?"
"Nohohohooo…"
"Don't worry, there are plenty of tickles to come."
Stede started again slowly, following a circling pattern around Ed's tummy, letting his fingers wander around the curve of Ed's sides and up across his ribs.
As the ticklish sensation kept building, Ed was fighting his arms from trying to come down and interfere. He truly didn't want to interfere, but this game was proving already to be quite difficult.
But then again, maybe he did want to lose to see what Stede's punishment for him would be…
Stede's voice snapped him back from his own inner battle. "I can see you're trying so hard for me, Ed," Stede let out a little mischievous chuckle, "but shall we up the intensity a bit?" His fingers now started to quickly skitter around Ed's torso, jumping around from spot to spot, with the occasional surprise armpit tickle that made Ed's arms jump down halfway before managing to bring them back up again.
Squirming around with more vigor, Ed felt like he was being electrocuted with tickles, and it was getting harder and harder to keep his arms up as the zipping sensations coursed through his body. Ed's laughter was freely pouring out of him and it was wind in Stede's sails.
"Now, Ed, what was it that I did before that made you squeal? Hmm…," Stede continued his tickling as he pretended to think, "Was it this?" He jumped his hands to Ed's underarms and gave the centers a quick taser with his fingers.
Ed squawked and his arms jumped down again, but just as quick as Stede's hands were there, they were off to the next spot and Ed brought his arms back up and gripped the pillow sitting against the arm of the couch for dear life, bracing himself.
A squeeze to his ribs.
"This?"
A vibrating, clawed hand to his belly.
"Or was it this?"
Pokes going up and down his sides.
"Was it here?"
Ed was about to combust. All the various changes of tickles and sudden movements from spot to spot and the smug teasing had him faltering, his grip on the pillow going white-knuckled.
"Ah! I remember!" Stede, in his utter delight, didn't wait another second before jumping back down to squeeze at the junction where lower tummy met hips.
A high pitched squeal rang through the air as Ed's arms came crashing down, pillow still in hand, and it smacked Stede in the face.
There was a sudden still and quiet in the room. Ed looked at Stede with wide eyes realizing what he had done, and the eyes that looked back at him with rising eyebrows told him one thing: he was in trouble.
"Now, Edward…" Stede began, and just those words alone already sent Ed into a giggling, playful beg.
"Stehehede! Nohoho, it was an accidehehent, I promise!"
Stede narrowed his eyes, teasingly skeptical. "Mmhmm, I don’t know Ed. I think I see your nose growing." He grabbed the pillow out of Ed's grip and flung it across the room in a display of joking outrage. "This definitely calls for punishment!"
Shifting from his place at Ed's legs, Stede flipped himself around so that he was sitting on Ed's chest. Placing his hands back on Ed's hips, he began to repetitively squeeze.
Ed went ballistic. His legs were flailing about, unable to do anything about the shocking jolts that had taken full control of his body. He tried to arch his back, but with Stede's weight now on his upper body keeping him in place, he couldn't do much else besides push at Stede’s back with his hands. The way Ed couldn't even see Stede's ticklish movements seemed to make it even worse.
"Fuhuhuck!! This isn't fahahahair!"
"I don't know, Ed, this seems perfectly fair to me! It's not my fault you're so adorably ticklish."
Shit, Stede's teasing was getting to him so badly, and paired with the insanely tickly pulses ruminating into his bones, Ed was in tickle Hell (Heaven.) His eyes squeezed shut as his bubbly shrieks got higher and higher in pitch with every evilly calculated pinch at his hips and it wasn't long before he was in full hysterics.
And just like that, everything stopped. Ed's legs slumped back down to the couch as Stede's weight lifted from his chest and was replaced with a gentle hand rubbing up and down his side.
Ed's remaining giggles continued to filter out past his lips as his chest heaved in order to catch his breath. He slowly started to come back down to earth and opened his eyes to see a softly smiling Stede looking down at him.
"How are you feeling, Ed?"
"Hmhmhmhmmm, you're mehehean."
"Oh? Is that right?"
Ed nodded.
"Well," Stede continued, "just know there's more to come. That was just punishment for hitting me with the pillow. I haven't given you your punishment for bringing your arms down…"
Ed's eyes went wide.
Stede chucked. "And I'm going to have to keep checking and cleaning your wound…that is, if you'd let me?"
Ed looked directly into Stede's eyes and was met with a hopeful, questioning stare. This caused a new flush to rise to Ed's cheeks and his heart fluttered. Knowing that Stede was wanting, and was essentially asking, to tickle him more had his insides vibrating and he was filled to the brim with a childlike glee.
Ed excitedly squirmed under Stede's gaze. "Hmhmhm um…might have to check it frequently…just to be sure."
Stede beamed. "Of course, Ed." He then stopped his hand rubbing Ed's side and gave him a couple pats on his tummy. "How about we go and have a nice cup of evening tea and relax for a bit, hmm? Then we can take care of your other punishment later tonight…and, mayhaps, I can look at that knee of yours..." Stede winked.
Maybe provoking Stede hadn’t been his smartest idea.
“You’re on rather thin ice, young man!” Stede stood at the other end of the dining table, hands on hips and levelling Ed with a familiar look - one that foretold Ed melting into a puddle by night's end. The anticipation of it made Ed giggle.
“Young man?” He scoffed. “We’re the same age! Y’know, probably!”
“Is that so? I have plenty of other nicknames if you don’t like that one. Let’s see…” Stede held up his hand and started counting on his fingers, which did not make Ed’s insides flip, not at all. “Rapscallion? Incorrigible trouble maker? Aggravating little brat?”
“Stede,” Ed blushed furiously. That was so not fair, Stede knew what that tone of voice did to him! Two could play at that game. “No need to get so worked up, love… it was just a little bit of jam!”
“In my HAIR!” Stede stomped his foot, pointing at the splodge of strawberry jam that sat firmly on the side of his head. “You are so very lucky my hair was already dirty, or we would be having very strong words right now!”
Of course it wasn’t luck at all. Ed knew Stede washed his hair routinely every four days, lathering it up with goop from a fancy little jar and letting it sit for exactly six minutes before rinsing it out. Ed knew, because he kept him company each time, watching with wide eyes as Stede hummed to himself, waiting patiently for Stede to gesture for him to come over so he could have his hair tended to, as well.
“As it is, well. Obviously I cannot let this go unpunished.” Stede extended his hand to point directly at Ed’s chest, then crooked a finger at him. “Come here.”
“Whatcha gonna do, Gentleman Pirate?” Ed tried to sound cocky, but even to his ears he knew he wasn’t selling it. “What sort of punishments do you rich lot have for disobedience?”
Stede cocked his head with a feral smile that made Ed weak at the knees.
“We submit them to a tickle torture, of course.”
“Hngh,” was all Ed managed, face flushing a deep pink as he jumped back several paces.
“What’s the matter, Ed? Scared of a little tickle?” Stede raised his hands and wiggled his fingers menacingly.
“No!”
“No, you’re not scared? Prove it, come over here and take your punishment like a good boy.”
“Steeeeede!”
Oh, this was playing dirty.
“Whatever’s the matter, love?” Stede asked innocently, stalking towards Ed like a jungle cat.
“Nonono Stede!” Ed squealed and covered his face. “Dohohon’t!”
“Don’t what?”
“Tickle me!”
“Oh, darling! If you insist!”
Ed shrieked so loud he was surprised Izzy hadn’t come running. He tripped over his own feet in his haste to flee, catapulting himself face first into the thick fur rug piled high with cushions. This was no amateur fuckery.
Stede was on him in an instant, perching on his arse and grabbing his wrists to pin above his head.
“Keep those out of the way, there’s a good chap!” He said jovially, and oh, Ed had no plans to move them. His exposed torso gave Stede a bright, shiny canvas to work with and he wasted no time digging in. Ed’s hands, pinned by Stede’s words alone, tangled in the blankets as devious hands worked their way up and down his ribs, playing him like a harpsichord. Ed’s legs kicked out behind him, his feet thumping against a cushion as Stede worked his ticklish magic on his nerves.
“Stede!” Ed shrieked in laughter, squirming under his partner’s delicious torment. Stede made a noise of acknowledgement above him, changing tactics to trace his fingertips along the backs of his ribs. “Nonononono not there not there not there!”
“Not here?” Stede hummed, digging his fingers a little more firmly and drawing a stream out loud giggles from his squirmy victim. “Well then where would you like me to tickle you then? I’m open to suggestions.”
Ed couldn’t reply, too lost in his giggles and feeling giddy from the teasing.
“Now what about, and this will require some cooperation on your part my darling, I tickle you just up here?”
Stede walked his fingers up to Ed’s exposed armpits and rested them there. Ed’s instinct was to yank his arms down, throw Stede off and show him what a real pirate tickle torture looked like but… well. He didn’t. What he did do was brace himself and lay completely still, waiting with eager anticipation for Stede to start his attack.
“There now, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Stede dipped to press a kiss to Ed’s exposed shoulder before digging in ruthlessly, moving back just in time to avoid an unintentional headbutt. Ed shook with laughter, hands balling into fists above him in a desperate attempt to keep still, to keep Stede’s hands on him for as long as possible. Edward Teach was history's greatest tactician for a reason after all. He’d planned this fuckery and it was going swimmingly, so he intended to hold out for as long as he could.
Except after a few minutes, Stede stopped, and slid away. Ed couldn’t help the whine of disappointment that escaped him as he turned to see what was possibly more important than tickling him to death. He met Stede’s eyes, which were wide for only a second before they narrowed into slits.
Oops.
“Edward Teach,” he started, and Ed swallowed thickly. Double fucking oops. “Did you or did you not put jam in my hair on purpose to provoke me into tickling you?”
“Uhm…” Ed blushed from his toes to his hairline. “Kinda did.”
“Oh, kinda did, eh?” Stede crossed his arms over his chest and Ed was reminded with startling clarity that this man had two children. “And why did you do that instead of, I don’t know, asking nicely?”
Ed hid his face behind his hands with a whine. “Because I wanted you to be mean!”
“Did you now?” Stede hummed, and suddenly Ed was being flipped onto his back. He yelped at the sudden movement, but had little time to complain as suddenly Stede was rolling up his sleeves and gripping him by the hips. “I’ll show you mean.”
Before Ed could take in what was about to happen, Stede’s mouth was on his belly blowing raspberry after raspberry, while the hands that held his hips down kneaded into the soft flesh. Ed exploded, back arching off the blankets and legs kicking furiously as he shrieked, hands tangling in Stede’s hair to… pull him off? Keep him still? It was hard to say.
“Is this mean enough for you?” Stede’s voice was muffled against his belly and fuck that tickled better than anything he’d ever experienced! Ed wanted to reply that yes, holy shit yes this was exactly what he’d been aiming for when he’d woken up that morning in a state of yearning and had decided a professional fuckery was called for. Unfortunately he was too busy giggling as Stede left little tickly kisses along his waistline, his hands shifting down a little to dig his fingertips into his thighs.
Ed could only lay back and laugh giddily, hands tangled loosely in Stede’s hair as he worked him over. Every part of his body was alight with giggles and he loved it, being held down by Stede was his favourite place to be in the whole world. But he was reaching his limit, his chest heaving and belly sore from laughter. Of course, Stede could tell too, because he was just so magically perfect.
“Are you sorry for putting jam in my hair?”
“Yehehehes! Yehehehehes I’m sorry!”
He pulled back, running his palms over Ed’s abdomen to chase away the lingering tickles.
“Do you feel thoroughly punished?” Stede teased softly. Ed giggled through panting breaths.
“Yeah. I love it when you get mean,” Ed grinned, and it was Stede’s turn to blush. “Am I forgiven for the jam?”
“I suppose so…” Stede sighed theatrically. “You did apologise very nicely. And it could have been worse, I’m due to wash my hair tonight anyway-”
Ed’s eyes widened at the same time Stede’s did. For a moment Ed anticipated Stede breaking the ceasefire and going back in for the kill, but instead he grinned and broke out in giggles.
“Even when provoking me you’re considerate!” Stede dipped his head to steal a kiss, which Ed reciprocated with a happy sound.
“Does this earn me a reward, then?” He wiggled his eyebrows cheekily.
“Alright, alright. Come lay over my lap and you can have some gentle back tickles, if you’d like?” Stede gave a soft smile that had Ed’s heart jump to his throat.
“I love you so fucking much,” he said, lurching up for another kiss. Stede chuckled against his lips.
