kingsman is forced into accepting a documentary crew (like in leverage öuö) because i donât know the queen wanted it or something
and itâs a camera crew following the tailors around and freaking them out
and two agents having been volunteered to show them around, the camera-hog just blinking and fixing their hair and losing their train of thought when the camera is focused on their face, and the sour-faced one (*cough* percival) who keeps smacking the crewâs hand like âdonât touch thatâ âdonât touch thatâ âdonât touch thatâ every five seconds
and itâs merlin staring menacingly at the camera crew whoâs like âpls look at the cameraâ and itâs so much worse when he does, and following him around the office is a series of slammed doors and âaccidental taizer misfireâ when they walk into the armoury mid-gadget-testing
itâs eggsy crossing his arms like ââm not sayin anyfin wivouâ my lawyerâ, his defensive face one inch away from a snarl, and not even eggsyâ freerunning allows him to escape cos the cameraman can also fricking parkour
and harryâs grinning like a flirty loon, bragging about his bionic eye and giving false hope to the sad twinks interning for the crewÂ
and rox just dazzles them with what she calls her false paparazzi smile from her real personal life and doesnât answer a single question, and breaks whatever appendage the producer has the minconception is appropriate to put on her (because harassment seems to be inescapable fuck this shit)
(and merhartwin moments where they have a domestic on camera like nate and sophie where theyâre bickering using the one-on-one interviews and it comes up with clips like âwhatâs wrong with ironing socks?â âhe implied your lack of honey pots may have to do with ageismâ âwhen was the last time you did anything for fun?â âha god complex what does that even mean?â âbut he said youâd like the inspector gadget tune sung at you for ten minutesâ âi did not abandon them to gad about, i just... i faked my own death and went on a voyage of self-discoveryâ âi- no! no, thatâs a lie, i love foreplay!â âeveryone has their place.â âha! he wants to put everyone in their place. itâs about respectâ âthis is about trust! you have to trust that when you put your sandwich in the fridge, that you can find it where you put it!â) (*cough* did anyone notice the lovely leverage parts, theyâre everything i just wrote from memory)
and did they forget the queen was going to see this? probably. sheâs def enjoying this, especially the part where merhartwin makes out in the supply closet
at this point kingsman offers some complimentary suit measurements and use the producerâs butt as a pincushion (what an asshole)
i donât know iâm watching too much leverage cos my inet sucks and i have the whole series on my harddrive
