~ levi ackerman x reader
~ tags/cw: fluff, sweet moments with levi. levi fluff! teeth rooting sweetness
~ wc: 230
~ “Levi, am I your first love?” "No."
“Levi, am I your first love?” You ask gently, afraid of prying too far into his past. Levi surely couldn’t have loved before, he had told you he has never felt the way he feels with you, the depth of his feelings; the closeness to love.
“No.” his answer is blunt. There is no messing around with his response, factual and straight to the point.
“Oh,” the noise comes out of you in a quick breath. He was so quick to answer, was he going to admit to something you didn’t want to know the answer to.
“But, you are the only one that matters” he turns to face you. Silver eyes glinting in the low light, smile tilting his lips upwards ever so slightly. “I’ve never felt what I feel for you. You’re not the first, but you are the last and the most important.”
“Oh”
“It doesn’t matter who I loved first because you are the one I love the most and the one I will continue to love until I’m not breathing, and even then I might come back and haunt you.” he laughs quietly. “Scared you for a second, didn’t I?”
“Yes, and I think it made me not love you,” you tease, pushing on his shoulder. “I’m rescinding my love.”
“My heart, how could you?” Levi clutches his chest dramatically. “How will I go on?”
“I don’t know but go ask the one who came before me.”
a/n: I think I’m back ? I’ve had a lot of shit happen in my personal life (death and what not) but I think I’m back. This one is inspired by Hozier’s new songs All Things End and Francesca.
Hi, hi. Could I request dilf/married/boss Levi & pining reader. A few years pass, they lose contact, find each other & he's divorced so they can finally indulge themselves in their mutual pining. 👉🏼👈🏼 if that makes sense...
...Sure it makes sense.
TW: Modern AU, Boss Levi, Married Levi, (but not with you :( ) Secretary reader.
WC: 1000
You’re mesmerized in the limber way his fingers pass navy silk through the tie knot. He looks immaculate. Even in his thirties his skin rejoices in a pubescent-like perfection. His hair falls like a curtain on his forehead, satiny and soft, and you dream of fisting it while he’s on top of you, hips rolling, groans wringing out from his lips. From a cautious distance you relish in the masculine fragrance of his perfume mingled with his natural scent. He is getting ready for a meeting — you inwardly squint— his agenda is clear for the evening, so the meeting transmogrifies into a date. With his wife.
Green bile lurches to your throat. You’ve only seen her in the photograph on Levi’s desk, on their honeymoon kissing in front of the Eiffel tower.
“Thank you,” Levi smirks as you press the tray to your chest. His tea, freshly brewed, rests on his desk, ribbons of steam swirling and infesting your boss’s office with the spicy aroma of chai.
Your interview consisted of brewing tea. He is the first person you know who claims leaves beat coffee beans. He said anything else could be eventually learned.
“Anything else I could help you with, sir?” you coyly ask, lowering your head, averting your eyes from the glint of the golden band on his left ring finger.
He shakes his head, smiles, and slips his jacket on. Then Circumvents the desk and stands before you. He wonders when you will use his name.
A finger curls under your chin, and he lifts your face to meet your eyes. “Keep your head up. Always.”
His touch sends rivulets of elation straight to your core; your heart trying to break free from your ribcage. The husky whisper breaks Goosebumps on your skin. The sizzling in the pit of your stomach spreads through your body, tinting your face with a deep shade of red. Everything in you ripples under his antimonite eyes.
He’s so close you can feel his breath stroke your parted lips. But he flicks away and clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. “Take the rest of the day,” he says. His glasses slip to the tip of his nose. He rests against his desk, hands hooked on his pockets, propelling up to canopy the bulge in his pants.
You nod, tightening your lips in a half-smile. “Thank you, sir. See you tomorrow.”
After a little bow, the door closes behind you. And a seed of tear breaks from the corner of your eye. The letter in the inside of your jacket burns against your chest. Once again you have to change the date. What a torture to have water so close and not be able to quench your thirst. It is best to avoid temptation that to fight it.
You spin on your heels, back to his office, forget knocking. He ends the call and tucks his phone in his pocket. “Y/N.”
You pry the letter and hand it over. “It is for the best.”
The envelope tears on the side. Levi sets down the letter opener and plucks its content.
Your hands are clasped on your belly. The flame of hope still dances as you wait for his reply. Seconds tick. Your legs itch. Part of you longs for him to shove it down the paper shredder. You want to scream because his expression is breaking you into little pieces, so small you could never find them.
But he raises his face. The brightness on the lenses reduces to a dot at the corner, revealing his eyes. Indomitable, unreadable. “You’re right. I think it is for the best,” He says.
He just pours chill water over you.
Levi is not the kind of man who’d jeopardize his marriage for a fling.
And you don’t want to be only a fling.
Before you leave, he kisses you, traces his fingers on the curve of your cheeks to draw you and safe your image inside of him, like someone who memorizes the map of a treasure.
“I…”
He places a finger on your lips and shakes the head; tears flow freely on your cheeks. You fix the collar of his shirt and whisper, “Perfect.”
*
He loved you in a way that sometimes scared him. The fear of having you; the fear of losing you. The fear of another storm. He never begged you to stay; he never followed.
Searching your name became the greatest form of masochism.
As he packed his belongings, he sifted through the detritus of his failed marriage, wondering if what he could’ve done better to save it. Maybe he never meant to patch it up. Maybe divorce was the right thing to do.
He takes off the wedding band and leaves it on the nightstand that is no longer his. He looks at the girdle of lighter skin on his finger.
The heaviness of the world cracks, and the rubble hisses as it falls from his shoulders.
What are you doing? A question that roams his head every second of the day.
He wanders through the narrow streets downtown, hands tucked in his pockets. Cars thrum by, people rush with their phones stuck to their ears, flyers sway in the air and litter the streets like confetti. An enticing blend of spices leads him around the corner, and he stumbles with a line of ten people in front of a tea shop he’d never seen before. Ten months ago, it was an empty facility for rent. curiosity and the sweet smell of butter, sugar and cinnamon, he waits. The owner has a sober taste, blending whites and creams with the natural finish of wood. He reads the menu hanging above the counter and steps forward.
“Welcome to Leaves over beans, how can I help you?”
His eyes plunge. That mellifluous voice is forever ingrained in the museum of beautiful things.
“Y/N?” His heart hurtles, your name, sweet as a ripe peach as it falls from his lips. His raspy voice is the key to the chest of your stay-away memories.
“Levi…” A wistful smile curves your lips. The years have not diminished his beauty; time has only carved tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. This destiny slip-up is a proof of what you fear the most. That your soul still quivers for him, that every inch of you ignites with the desire of melding with him. Your heart is pounding with the urge to touch him. To hug him. To kiss him. To kiss him until you could not feel your lips anymore. To make love until you collapse against his chest.
The band is gone, and your eyes flick back to his.
You tuck your hair behind your ear and hold your bottom lip prisoner between your teeth. You don’t need words; your eyes speak loudly and clear a language that only you can figure out.
“I’m usually off at seven, but I can make an exception today.”
"Great." He says, leaning over the counter, oblivious to the annoyed customers behind, and sweeps his thumb over the back of your hand as you press his order onto the screen. Plain black tea and a serving of mini biscotti. He scans the place before looking back at you again. “I’ll be waiting at table seven.”
Now that you have found each other. That you weren’t broken. Now that you know what you want to be.
synopsis : You study litterature and you're married to Levi, all your classes get canceled and you get to spend the night w/ your beloved husband.
warnings : nsfw
a/n : this fic has been sitting inside my drawer for a bit now, so i thought i'd publish it now or it will just get forgotten and fall into oblivion.
You put on your bomber jacket over your T-shirt, swung your messenger bag over your shoulder and headed out with an enthusiasm you could hardly hide : all your afternoon lectures have been canceled, you could go to Levi's appartement earlier and spend the entire afternoon and the entire night there, walking down the stairs of the college where you studied litterature, you brought up your left hand up and stared at the small glinting diamond on your wedding ring, and a smile, just as shiny as the rock appeared instantly on your face.
You and Levi had just gotten married, he felt he was ready and steady enough to balance his life, you, and your awful temperament, and basically everything in between.
You were in your last year in college and Levi was very supportive of your aspirations. Even though you were married, you still didn't live together in one place, it has been only two months since the ceremony, and you still had a lot of things to move out of your appartement, changing adresses and other small details that were taking way too much time to both your likings, the situation didn't but you two had to be patient.
You jumped out of the last step and landed on the nude concrete, heart fluttering like the one of a child. The sky was incredibly blue, not a single cloud around, the sun was warm and swimming in the clear blue, you noticed how stunning the details in the architecture of your building was, it was a beautiful day.
You literally thought that this day couldn't get any better.
Just when you reached the portails of your college, you heard your phone ringing, it was Levi.
"Hello ?" you singed into the device hoping your good mood will reach Levi on the other end of the line.
"Where are you brat ?" a masculine voice asked
He calls you brat even though there were only a few years separating you in age, you hated that nickname and that's exactly why he keeps on using it.
"So that you know who's in charge here" he told you once jokingly as both of you sat on a couch preparing for the wedding, but you knew Levi too well, and knew he wasn't entirely joking.
"I am actually heading out to your place sweetheart" you said smiling mischievously, since he was going to call you by the nickname you disliked the most, you were going to do the same, he hates it when you call him sweetheart. "I have good news, all my lectures have been canceled ! I am all yours today !" you finished.
"Well i called to tell you i was making your favorite dinner-"
"Pasta ?" you interrupted him overjoyed.
"Pasta" he confirmed.
"Oh Levi !"
"Yeah yeah just come home already, looks like you're having a really nice day huh ? some people really have it all..." he said sarcastically, and you being able withstand his stingy tongue and not be affected by it is probably one of the reasons he married you.
"But you have it all too Levi !" you said, a smile perceptible through your voice.
"I do ?"
"Yeah, you have me !" your laugh ringed through the air making its way through the phone, you were now walking down a really crowded road and some people turned around at your loud and joyful laugh.
"Hurry and come home already ! Your cat is annoying me he wants you ! and be careful when you cross the street idiot" The reason he said that is because he could hear the sudden honks that bursted all over, you yelping and someone in the distance shouting at you. Talking on the phone and crossing a street was never something you were good at.
"I'll be there in ten minutes..."
"Wonderful" he said in such an apathetic voice that you knew he was being sarcastic again.
but you weren't finished
"...sweetheart"
CLIC !
*****
Putting a bag filled with some ripe and red apples in front of his door,, you searched for your keys in your messenger bag and opened the door to what was your small heaven on earth, before you heard the familiar clicking sound you could hear your cat scratching the door, your feline companion really did miss you. You picked up the bag of fruits that your bought on your way and entered the quiet and minimalistic appartement. It smelled so clean, as usual, and some tea was being brewed, black tea probably. You took off your jacket and bag and laid them carefully on the arm of the grey -and incredibly comfortable couch- in the living room. The kitchen was at the left, separated from the room you were in by a big wooden furniture with shelves, and just when you were about to get in there, the man who was sarcastically teasing you on the phone appeared, wearing a black top, and black jeans, his hands tucked in his pockets.
"What's that ?" he asked pointing at the heavy bag.
"Apples, i know you love them!"
"Great"
"So you too can have a perfect day"
"I can't have any good day with this cat using me as his scratching tree" he said while the said cat jumped on the counter where you were washing the apples in the sink.
"Hello little guy, did you annoy Levi as i asked you too ?" you nuzzled your cat's head, the purring that started automatically had you smiling fondly.
You heard Levi shuffling your way and coming to stand next to you to watch you wash the fruits. He was just standing, but you were so comforted by his presence and his incredible warmth.
"How are you doing today ?" he asked, voice low and almost husky ?
The cat hopped on the floor and started going in circles around your leg while Levi's arm slowly made its way to your waist in such a caring and loving manner that it almost surprised you, making you look up at him, your faces were so close you could feel his breath on your nose.
He's been drinking tea you thought to yourself.
"I feel great" your words were sure joyful but your tone was a bit off, and Levi was quick to notice it.
"Why are you lying yo me ?"
"I am not lying to you, i really do feel great, it's just-"
You exhaled deeply. It's true you were as happy as someone could be, but you were also very overwhelmed by all the changes in your life happening all at once, the mariage, the moving out, the workload in college, this new life, you were the type of person to get easily stressed when overwhelmed, and your were grateful for a husband and a partner like Levi who made it seem like you could do it, no matter how hard and stressful it could get.
"Levi, you did absolutely nothing wrong, it's me, i'm a little bit stressed about everything. not because i don't want it, it's what i have always dreamed of, i'm just...well, stressed, you know me...
-"always stressed out about anything and everything." finished Levi, putting your final thoughts into words.
He looked at you with a very serious look while you rumbled about every little thing that has been bothering you, paying attention to every word you said, when you finished talking he nuzzled your neck just like a cat would do to comfort you. A small candid laugh slept through your lips at the gentle gesture.
-What's so funny ?
-I just realized you're just like a cat !
-Excuse me ?
-You hate having to socialize, you like to stay alone and only like my company or the one of only a few people...and just like a cat you know how to show love when someone needs it the most.
*******
Small candles lit up the small space of the living room, a bigger candle -that you insisted on buying not long ago only to realize later that it was ridiculously too big- was sitting down next to the couch casting soft hues on your naked bodies.
All the candles smelled so good.
They wrapped the room in a vanilla scented veil, keeping your bodies warm.
"Levi...i love you so much"
Your voice almost cracking half way through your sentence, you couldn't help being vulnerable tonight. You didn't have the time to eat that pasta Levi had been preparing all afternoon and that you've been waiting for all evening. When you were standing in front of that sink, going on about how hard it was for you to keep up, his arm around your waist slowly climbed up to rest on your shoulder and pull you closer, then the pulling closer became kissing your forehead, then kissing your forehead started to become not enough. All you remember is that you and your husband ended on the couch making out with a need you didn't even know was there, both of you had missed each other the whole day, Levi being so touchy with you earlier was a dead giveaway, he only touched you this much when he missed you.
You loved this couch it was so comfortable, soon you were making love, wrapped in a soft blanket Levi kept there for his reading nights alone, surrounded by the intoxicating smell of vanilla, yours and Levi's favorite scent to make love to.
His touches were passionate yet calculated, his eyes studying your curves painted by the dim light, he enjoyed looking at you covering your face with embrassement, kissing every inch of you.
The fluttering touches of your sweaty palms, your tangling sweet warm skins and your hot breaths mingling in the air between you two made you dizzy.
Today was such a good day you thought to yourself as you straddled Levi, positioning yourself on top of him, as soon as your most sacred and intimate parts found themselves again, Levi's breaths became erratic, slipping grunts here and there, telling you to move, go faster as he was entranced by everything about you.
He parted the two locks of hair covering your face like someone would part the curtains so the light would shine on them, and the suns in your eyes made him all too aware of how much you two loved each other.
He loved every inch of your body but also every inch of you, your mannerism, your happy mood that always seemed to rub off on him, your laugh, your joyful spirit, your boldness, the one you display when you take the lead in bed, just like you did right now.
Sweet moans soon filled the room, your head pulled back, mouth hanging open, you didn't bother cancealing anything, because anything that could show Levi how happy you were here and now was to be welcomed, to be expressed freely. Soon, sweet and lovely waves of pleasure washed all over you before you collapsed ontop of his now drenched chest, sighing at the drowsiness embracing you slowly.
-I guess it's too late to eat that pasta now.
-It's okey, i just had my other favorite meal.
-And what's that ? asked Levi with a half smile that made him look so handsome.
Hold me tight, hold me close (Levi Ackerman/Reader)
Summary: Levi had dreamt about sharing a bed with you for years, but life has a funny way of giving you what you want. In other words, following the tragic events that came with reclaiming Wall Maria, Levi finds comfort in your arms.
A/N: This is part of a series I’m working on called ‘The Pursuit of Intimacy’ which follows Levi’s relationship with you (the reader) as you both explore different levels of intimacy. It can be read independently, but will include brief mentions of other chapters.
T/W: Mentions of gore, dark thoughts, grief and spoilers of the end of season 3.
Part 1 here (although it’s not truly necessary to read enjoy this one)
Levi sat in the dark. The sun had set a half hour ago, but he hadn’t found any reason to light a candle. It’s not as if was he was going to do anything productive, he’d probably stay in that same position until dawn, just like the night before, and the one before that, and the one before that.
One month had passed since the reclaiming of Wall Maria. Technically it had been a victory. Technically humanity had a reason to celebrate. Technically they were all decorated heroes that deserved high honors. Technically...
Levi sighed, ‘Technically it’s all bullshit.’ He thought bitterly, ‘Technically we are no where near the end, and we don’t know if it was all for nothing. Every time we think we get closer, more shit comes our way... it’s like a labyrinth of riddles. We’re all just fools running in circles.’
His eyes stared into the void, deep in thought. ‘I don’t know if we’ll ever find the answers you were looking for Erwin.’
It was always the same thoughts that swam through his mind. They flooded his head anytime he was alone, weighing him down along with the eternal guilt he felt. Simply existing was draining these days.
A soft knock interrupted his wallowing. Gray eyes glared at the door, willing whoever was at the other side to go away. A few seconds later, however, another knock followed.
’Tch.’
It was probably Hange, only they would be bold enough to insist.
‘It’s me Levi.’ You said, ‘Could you please let me in?’
Levi froze. Out of all the people he’d imagined standing at the other side of the door, you weren’t one that crossed his mind. He hadn’t seen you since the night before departing for Wall Maria. Instinctively his hand touched his lips, remembering the kiss you’d shared on that rooftop and the promise he’d made to himself that you would both survive the next expedition so that you could continue exploring this new found territory of intimacy. How he’d vowed to give you more moments like that, to spend more time with you, to give you more.
He was suddenly slammed with a wave of shame remembering how he’d last seen you at Wall Maria. After the dust had settled from the battle against the Beast Titan, Levi’s eyes had glanced over the ground littered with dead bodies expecting your remains to be among them. Instead he’d found you crouching over the mangled remains of your medic Squad, their faces destroyed past the point of recognition. How you were drenched in tears and blood, both yours and theirs. How you wailed at the sky for help knowing how futile it was, and how he’d looked away instead of offering you the comfort you so clearly needed. How he’d abandoned you when you needed it most.
This time when Levi didn’t give you a response, it was because his own guilt had sewn his lips shut.
’Levi...’ you pleaded at the other side of the door. ‘I know you’re in there, and I know you’re awake. Let me in, I’m not going anywhere.’
Another moment of silence.
’I have tea...’ you offered, ‘The good stuff! I stole it off some MP’s, which should make it double as tasty. Once for the tea, and twice for the crime.’
The corner of Levi’s lips twitched with the ghost of smile. He swallowed the lump in his throat in order to finally speak, ‘Enter.’
Muffled shuffling could be heard at the other side of the door, until you finally opened it and stepped inside. You were juggling a clunky tray filled with a tea pot, cups and a plate filled with... shortbread? No, that couldn’t be shortbread. That was rare even for Wall Sina. How did you get your hands on that?
You walked to his desk and sat the tray down, noticing his eyes linger on the shortbread, ‘I pulled some strings, and may have possibly bribed someone.’ You commented.
No other word was exchanged as you began to serve the tea, placing a steaming cup right in front of him before sitting down at the opposite side. You stared at him, eyes honest and vulnerable, but equally determined. ‘You look like shit Levi.’
’Tch.’ He took a sip of tea instead of responding, ‘Damn, the MPs do get the good shit.’
Levi reached for the shortbread, but you snatched the plate away from him before he could grab one. ‘You want the shortbread you better talk to me. Don’t think I’m above bribing you Captain.’
He glared at you, partly debating letting his pride win and refusing to answer you, forgoing the shortbread. That idea soon disappeared when he finally looked at you, really looked at you. Your hair was down but seemed unbrushed; the circles under your eyes were deep and blue; but the worst was seeing your eyes. The last time he’d seen them they were filled with so much light and happiness, but now... now they were filled with ghosts.
Levi sighed, ‘You look like shit too.’
’Yeah, funny thing about going through Hell. When you finally get out, the demons still follow you home.’ You sighed and passed him the plate, ‘I suppose that counts as an answer.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I know that doesn’t bring them back, but I’m sorry.’
You laughed bitterly, ‘I didn’t come here to hear you apologize Levi.’
’Then why are you here then? If there’s something you want to say than just say it.’
‘No one has seen you in days Levi,’ He opened his mouth about to defend himself but you didn’t give him a chance, ‘and before you say that ‘you’ve gone to trainings and meetings’, those don’t count.’ You pinched the bridge of your nose. ‘When’s the last time you ate something Levi? Have you seen anyone since coming back from the Wall?’
’Did Hange put you up to this?’
’No! God Levi.’ You yanked at your hair in frustration. ‘Yes, Hange is worried about you, everyone is -‘
’Why? They should be worrying about their own shit. I’m not special, we all saw shit that day, we’ve all lost people. What’s the use worrying about me, when they should be focusing on dealing with their duties? Or trying to understand whatever the fuck it is we’re actually facing. Or if they want to waste their time worrying about feelings than worry about their own. I’ll be fine, I always am.’
The last words came out in a whisper. ‘Fuck...I’m tired.’
The tea rested on the table forgotten, even the shortbread didn’t appeal to him anymore. ‘And you should be the last person coming here to comfort me.’ His eyes drifted to the floor, suddenly looking at you was very hard. ‘I should have been there for you. You were right in the middle of it, you watched your entire Squad die. It should have been me coming to check on you. After the rooftop...after we-‘
’And what would you have done Levi?’
‘I...’
’Comforted me? There? Would you have patted my back as I cried? Hugged me? Lied to me and told me that everything was going to be okay? Put aside your duties as Captain and ignored all the other grieving soldiers after the fucking shit storm that was taking back Wall Maria just to hold me... because we shared a moment on a rooftop?’
Levi sat there mouth agape, not knowing how to respond.
Sigh, ‘Levi be realistic. As much as I care for you, and I know you care for me let’s not kid ourselves... that’s not you.’ He adverted his gaze at your words. ‘And that’s okay, I know you Levi, in fact getting to know you has been one of the biggest privileges I’ve had since joining the Scouts. My opinion of you has always been positive and it has never wavered, not even after what happened at Wall Maria. And I’m not saying this because of the kiss.’
At the mention of the kiss it didn’t escape you how the the tip of Levi’s ears began to turn a light shade of pink. Very gently, almost as if you were scared to startle him, you sat your teacup down and walked around the desk that acted as a barrier (both literally and figuratively) and leaned against it.
‘You want me to tell you why I’m here?’
’Tch...I didn’t ask to waste my breath now did I?’
‘Give me your hand then.’
Levi stared at you shocked, ‘What? No!’
You laughed at his reaction, ‘Humor me Levi, as I recall you liked it the last time I held your hand.’
His blush burnt bright red at the memory and he shoved his hand almost aggressively towards you in the hopes that you wouldn’t notice. You grabbed it in between yours and knelt in front of him, running your fingers over his skin tenderly whilst at the same time forcing him to look at you. He suddenly felt so vulnerable, and a little bit scared.
’You carry so much weight, so much responsibility, so much grief on your soldiers. I know that the title of Humanity’s Strongest is a burden, a heavy one,’ you paused thinking your next words carefully...’and I know that attached to that title come impossible decisions, impossible choices that you are forced to make for the survival of humanity.’
Suddenly Levi was transported back to that dreaded rooftop, but before he had a chance to dwell on the pain and the guilt from what happened your hands squeezed his and pulled him back to reality. It was almost as if you were keeping him grounded.
‘Erwin didn’t give you the serum so that you could save him. He gave it to you because he trusted that when the moment came and a decision would have to be made, that you would choose what you thought was best for humanity. I truly think deep down, he trusted you more than he trusted himself.’
’So you’re here to convince me that I made the right decision and shouldn’t feel guilty?’
You shook your head, ‘No. I’m not that naive. To be honest I’m not sure if there was even a right choice to begin with, we will never know that Levi. At the end of the day a choice had to be made. I can’t tell you not to feel guilty, but I do want to say that I admire you for stepping up when the moment called for it and making that decision. It takes a different type of strength to make an impossible choice and to later shoulder the consequences that come with it.’
Your hands pulled on his, bringing it close to your face and he watched you lean your head down until your forehead touched his hand. It was a bizarre sight for him, to see you on your knees in front of him, in such a submissive position. You, who was always the epitome of strength, independence and composure, were there in front of him showing him how to let your guard down. He admired you even more for that, the way he saw it, it takes a different type of bravery to show vulnerability.
’Y/N…’ Levi whispered, truly lost for words.
’You’re right Levi, I saw all of my friends…’ He could hear the tears in your eyes, despite not seeing them. ‘I saw the people I’d consider my family, be slaughtered right in front of my eyes. I-‘ your hand clenched his hard as you struggled through your words, ‘Some of them, some of them died instantly. I guess that was a blessing. Others were in so much pain and I held them Levi, I held them close and tight as they cried until they died. But the worst…the worst part was that some were mangled past the point of recognition… and now whenever I close my eyes that’s how I remember them. I can’t…’
Broken sobs filled the air as he felt hot tears wet his hand. Levi brought his other hand and placed it on the top of your head, tracing the side of your face until he reached your chin and gently tilted your head up to look at him. Your tear stroked face broke his heart, but by the walls were you beautiful.
’Levi,’ You pleaded, ‘Don’t lie to my face, tell me you’re okay, push me away and expect me to listen. I’m not here because of any emotional debt that exists because of what happened between us. I don’t know what we are, if we will ever be anything and I’m not here looking for answers to that. But Levi even if we are never more that friends, or colleagues, I do have love for you. I do care for you. So don’t ask me to step aside and watch one of the last people I love destroy themselves with guilt from the sidelines.’
A strange warmth began to spread through Levi’s chest. You said you had love for him, and you spoke about it so easily. A part of him, the one who felt that he wasn’t deserving of any love wanted to call you a liar. Another part of him, the one who saw love as something to fear wanted to yank his hand away and run. But another part of him, the one he felt was the most selfish, wanted to believe it was true. The only other issue that came with it, was the fact that he felt broken and he wasn’t sure if he could ever reciprocate the type of love he knew you gave…the type of love you deserved, the type of lo-
‘Hey, Levi I think you’re thinking to hard.’ your voice pulled him back from his mental spiral, Walls were you good at that. ‘Please don’t overthink what I’m saying. Tonight I’m here as your friend, the same one you had tea with in the middle of the night in the Mess Hall back at HQ. It’s me, you know me, I’m safe.’
Levi breathed through his nose as he pinched the bridge of his nose, ‘You’re really good at that you know?’
’At what?’
’At drowning out the noise.’
’Are you saying I’m louder than your thoughts?’
’And more annoying.’
You giggled a bit at that, and suddenly the air didn’t seem so thick.
‘All I want to know Levi, is what can I do tonight to help you. How can I help you hang your title for a little while and block out the noise.’
He thought about it, about how tired he was. ‘Could you stay the night with me? I can’t seem to sleep…’
You mocked gasp, ‘Levi, what an indecent proposition! What type of lady do you take me for?’
He smirked at your jest. ’The type of lady who serves indecent propositions on a silver platter apparently.’
‘What will people say? Me, an unwed lady, spending the night with Captain Levi…the scandal!’
Levi’s lips twitched with the shadow of a smile, ‘Tch, you brat, is that a yes?’
‘Oh I can’t ever deny the great Captain Levi’s wishes, I must do it for the sake of humanity. Even if that does jeopardize my chances of marrying a rich Lord from Sina.’
’There was hardly a ever a chance for that, you may be easy on the eyes but five minutes with you and they’d run for the hills after realizing what a psychopath and a nuisance you can be.’
You suddenly gave him the biggest Cheshire cat smile he had every seem. ‘So you think I’m pretty?’
Levi hid how he choked on air at his slip up, ‘Don’t put words in my mouth brat.’
He got up from his chair and started walking towards a door that you assumed led to his bedroom. You took this as a cue to follow him. Inside was a small, humble room void of any personal belongings aside from a suitcase that rested in a far corner. The bed was just slightly bigger than a twin and looked like it hadn’t been slept on in ages.
’You can take the bed.’ Levi said after he caught you eyeing it.
’Where are you planning on sleeping then?’
He shrugged and pointed to a chair, ‘I’ll take the chair. I won’t get much sleep anyways.’
’Doesn’t that defy the whole point of me spending the night?’
’No, I-‘ pause. ‘I just don’t want to be alone.’
To be honest, he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep any time soon, but the idea of being alone terrified him. Actually that wasn’t exactly true, it was just that from the moment you walked into his office that night the world seemed a little bit like maybe there could still be some good in it. Some moments to enjoy, and if you squint your eyes hard enough, a little bit of peace. Sharing tea with you, even in between tears, was something he knew and with the world changing so fast around you, there was a type of beautiful comfort in that. Maybe it was that love you talked about, whatever it was, it scared him that if you left it would leave with you.
’Well, you’ll be awfully alone in that chair if you ask me.’ You walked to the bed and sat down, taking off your shoes before patting the side next to you. ‘There’s room here for the both of us here.
He felt very awkward, but above all tired. So he didn’t have the strength in him to pretend that lying in bed with you wasn’t what he wanted. ‘Okay.’
You began to unbutton your pants. ’I’m going to remove my pants and shirt, but I’ll leave the tank top on if that’s alright by you.’
Oh! You were going to remove clothes? His heart and brain did a little stutter, nervous at the implications of you stripping and lying in bed with him. But there were no promises hidden behind your words. No, you were simply once again trying to ground him in reality, softly pushing him towards a place of comfort and showing him that it was okay to be vulnerable with you. You knew him so well, knowing he would never take the lead towards something like this….that he would never voice what he wanted, that he was always lost in this silly pursuit of intimacy. Yet here you were once again, reading between the lines and guiding him towards what he wanted, taking the first step for the both of you. Maybe this was love too.
’I’ll do the same.’
You both turned away and gave each other the privacy to strip before slipping under the covers. It was a tight fit in the bed, but it didn’t feel crowded. Levi turned to extinguish the light but your hand reached out to stop him.
’No, don’t!’
’What is it?’
‘If you leave us in the dark, how else will you be able to admire my pretty face that you like so much.’
’Tch.’ He didn’t even dignify your jest with a response before turning off the lamp and letting the darkness wash over the both of you.
Levi didn’t know how much time passed, but it was enough for his eyes to adjust to the dark. He could make your shape in the bed, giving him about as much space as the small piece of furniture let you and even though it wasn’t a lot, it was much more space than he wanted. He needed you close to him, to feel you on him, he needed you to anchor him to this bed with you or he was afraid he would drift off into his nightmares again. The only problem was that he didn’t know how to ask, but he did know that if he didn’t you would stay where you are.
‘Brat?’
‘Yes Levi?’
He was silent for a second, not knowing how to ask for this. ‘Before, when you mentioned…’ pause, ‘when you talked about your old squad,’ pause, ‘at the battle of wall Maria…’
Walls, why was this so hard?! He couldn’t seem to get the words out, but you patiently gave him all the time he needed. ‘You said that as they…’ pause. ‘As they died you,’ pause. ‘You h-held…’ pause.
A long pause.
Taking pity on him, you decided to fill in the blanks. ‘I held them tight, and held them close… yes.’
’Yes.’
Pause.
’Levi?’
’Yes?’
’Do you want me to hold you like that?’
Pause.
’…yes.’
He felt your warmth before he felt your arms wrap around him. One arm sliding under him, pulling him towards you until his chest laid over yours, and your other enveloping him on the other side until he cocooned in your embrace. You held him tightly, squeezing his broken pieces back together.
This has to be love. He thought, as tears welled in his eyes. Your arms pulled him closer to you, until his head rested tightly against the tank top you’d kept which he was suddenly incredibly grateful for. It absorbed his tears before he even had a chance to reel them back in, fight against them. But then again this was you, your way of showing him that you were helping him carry the weight of his pain. The second he understood that he let his first sob break through the silence.
’I’m here with you Levi.’ And to make sure your statement sunk in, you found his hand in the darkness, intertwining it with his fingers and squeezed it tight.
I promise you one day I’ll help carry your pain too… Levi vowed in silence as he cried. I promise to show you love the best way I can. I don’t know how, but I’ll learn. If you can gift me your patience, I’ll learn how to make sure you feel loved every day.
Endless minutes passed. The t-shirt you wore was now wet, and there was a part of him that thought that he should be ashamed of that, but he suddenly felt so light. He sighed peacefully, and cuddled his head closer to you enjoying the way you held him.Levi was suddenly overwhelmed with a need to speak.
‘I miss him.’
’I know. Me too.’
’I feel lost.’
’He was a great leader.’
’He was a great friend.’
’He was also good person.’
Your arm found its way underneath his shirt, and he was suddenly very focused on where your hands were. A couple of seconds later you began to trace shapes on his back with your nails. It was so soft and effortless, but it had the strongest reaction out of him. Suddenly he felt a volt of electricity shoot through his body as he erupted in goosebumps, and before he could even help it a soft moan tumbled out of his lips.
’You’re a good person too Levi.’
He purred like a cat and angled his head near your ear, ‘You’re a good person too brat.’
The whisper in your ear made you shiver, which filled Levi with pride when he felt it. One of his hands rested near the skin of your outer thigh. It was so soft, curious about how you would react to his touch he began to trace patterns on your skin. Shadowing the movements you were leaving on his back. To his surprise, he instantly felt the goosebumps appear on your skin.
‘ In fact,’ he gave your thigh a harder scratched that made your breath hitch, ‘You’re one of the best.’
Drunk on peace, his walls were stripped down and before he knew it he blurted out the first thought that came to his mind, ‘This wasn’t what I had in mind when I pictured sharing a bed with you.’
Your hand froze on his back and he was suddenly shocked out of his haze. Oh no. ‘Oh really? And what exactly were you picturing Levi?’
He was suddenly very happy it was dark and that you couldn’t see how fiercely he was blushing. ‘Nothing, forget I said anything.’
’Oh no no no Levi. You’re not getting off that easily.’ Pause, ‘Or is that what you were doing, getting off.’
’Careful brat, you’re treading dangerous waters.’ He followed his threat with a rough squeeze to your thigh that tickled in all the best ways.
Your laughter filled the room, ‘Okay, okay. Just tell me Levi. Were we wearing less clothes than we are wearing now?’
He responded to you with a series of tickles that had you squirming underneath him, as you exploded into a fit of giggles. “Stop, stop Levi, I yield please!!’
Levi complied, happy to have sacrificed his pride for your laughter that still echoed through the air. A couple of minutes later, when your giggles stopped, you found yourself once again wrapped up together, leaving lazy circles on each other’s skin in a comfortable silence.
‘Well, this night might not be as fun as the one you had in mind, b-‘
This time he shut you up with a kiss, pressing his lips tightly onto yours. Cradling your head in his hand, in a loving gesture. The kiss was short, but tender, filled with passion and unspoken promises. He poured every thank you he couldn’t say into it, trying hard to squeeze a little love into it. When he pulled away he caressed your now sore lips with the tip of his thumb, like he did the last time you’d kissed.
’It’s perfect.’
He truly meant it, tonight had been perfect. With no other thought clouding his mind, he got lost in the feeling of your fingertips on his skin. Levi focused on the flow of your movements, letting them guide him effortlessly into the first peaceful dreamless sleep he’d had in years.
A/n: I had an idea for this fic but honestly I feel like it wrote itself. I hope you liked it, and if you did please feel free to leave a kudos or a comment <3. I have snippets of scenes I want to put these two in, and let them guide me through it. It’s been years since I’ve written anything and they’re helping me find my love for writing again.
P.S. There are probably some typos out there, I usually re-read it and edit when I find one, but since I have no beta pretty sure a few slipped through the cracks.
You can also find my Ao3 series ‘Pursuit of Intimacy’ here.
Alright so does any of you guys like attack on titan? I had written this Levi × OC fanfiction and I was thinking, would it be a good thing to turn it into a Levi × reader and post it on tumblr?
~ levi ackerman x reader
~ tags/cw: angst, blood/gore, levi always checks over your odm gear before missions
~ wc: 760
~ "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"
Levi kneels before you as he tightens the straps of your harness.
Deft fingers pass over the leather, slipping below the straps, testing the tension and strength of the new buckles. It isn't as if you are incapable of strapping yourself in; you have done this over a thousand times, but there is a new mechanism within the buckles that only a few people knew how to work correctly, Levi being one of them, and he was not about to risk your life over a new piece of metal.
"Levi, I think I can finish it," you offer as his hands slide toward your hips. "Just show me, and I can do it."
He shakes his head and lifts his gaze to yours. "I want to make sure they're secure."
Silver eyes bore into yours, something soft and vulnerable hidden within the cold steel. You run your fingers over his cheek, curling them behind his ear.
Levi leans into your touch, eyes slipping closed for a moment before he kisses your palm. "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"
His voice is so soft and small. He sounds so fragile, so human. "Okay?" he tries again, fingers tightening leather again. His cheek is still cradled in your palm, and you don't think he will move it until you answer him.
"Okay, Levi"
Levi watches as the leather snaps. Watches as you are sent hurtling toward a tree, watches as you flail in desperation before accepting defeat against gravity as you brace for impact. Levi hears you scream his name before the sound of cracking bones as you hit the thick trunk. Levi sees the blood, then your body tumbling to the ground, limp and unmoving. He's flying before he can think, your name a cry on his lips as he propels himself towards you. Trees and leaves a blur as his vision hones in on you, the entire being focused on your body, scanning for any signs of life. His feet hit the ground so hard his knees scream in pain, but he pays them no mind as he sprints towards you. There's no movement from your body, no breathing or groans of pain. You're just lying there, still and quiet, as if you were a part of the forest, as if you had always been ageless and living among the foliage but weren't living. Levi finally reaches your body, calling out to you as he turns you over, but you aren't there. There is no life behind your eyes as he calls out to others. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was meant to be a simple exercise; you would come back home, have dinner, and then go to bed, and everything would be okay.
"Sweetheart, you're okay; please wake up." Levi reaches out and pulls you into his lap. "Come on, you need to wake up now."
His hand strokes down your face, blood starting to drip from your nose as he pushes your hair back from your face.
"Please, love, wake up," Levi whispers, ducking his head. "I can't do this without you, please."
Levi doesn't hear as Hange approaches him, their hand on his shoulder startling him.
"Levi, they're gone," Hange whispers, kneeling beside him. "You need to let us take them, okay."
Levi shakes his head, holding you tighter as Hange tries to loosen Levi's grip. "No, they're okay, and I'm not leaving them. I can't."
"Levi, please. Let go."
"No! Just give me some time, and they'll be okay. We'll be okay, and everything will be normal. Okay?"
"Okay."
Hange nods and pulls back as Levi starts to sob. The forest is silent save for the broken cries of a man who has lost everything.
Levi startles awake. His eyes fly open as his heart pounds against his rib cage. He is in his bed, the sheets warm from the morning sun, fire dwindling to embers across the room. He reaches out, afraid to look, and finds nothing there in fear his dream is reality, but he is met with warm sheets and then the sound of clutter in the kitchenette, and his mind and heart instantly calm. Levi takes a deep breath in, the familiar scent of your perfume fills his senses, and he is calm; he is ready to face you and tell you about his nightmare.
"Sweetheart, I know you don't like hearing about them, but I had the worst dream, and I need to-"
Levi's voice fades as he sees Hange standing in the doorway, holding two cups of tea.
"I'm sorry, Levi."
a/n: Please don't come for me with the stupid fault in out stars title please, i couldn't think of any other title. TT
~ levi ackerman x reader
~ tags/cw: explicit language, canonverse, established relationships, levi being a tiny bit controlling (but its for the best)
~ wc: 550
The rain started pouring around midday and didn't let up as the sun started to set, and as darkness rolled in from the east so did more storm clouds. Too far from the walls and too exhausted to find any form of civilisation, Levi had decided to call it and set up camp under a small outcropping deep within the forest. He had sent a group out for surveillance and with nothing to report, the captain ordered everyone to unpack and settle in. The collective sigh of relief that whooshed from the group could have knocked down an oak tree and as everyone started to shuck off wet boots and overcoats, the chill of the night crept in. There was a small fire, enough to cook rations and dry some articles of clothing but not enough to warm everyone. So they huddled, squished together around the flames teeth chattering and hands shaking as they shovelled stew into their mouths.
"I think we might have to double up" you mutter to your captain while counting the number of heads and available sleeping bags. "I guess we could string the tents up but even then, we won't have enough to keep everyone warm"
The soaked linen had been slung over low-hanging branches earlier in the evening in the hope to dry them a bit before it came time for lights out, but with the rain and wind they were just as wet. You purse your lips in deliberation, mind running over logistics and numbers to figure out if you could squeeze three women into a single-person sleeping bag.
“Levi, should I-“ you start to explain your predicament but you're cut off.
“Yes, just wash the mud off your arms”
“I-that’s not what I-what?” you blink at your captain.
Levi doesn’t look up from his sword he is cleaning as he responds. “You weren’t gonna ask to share with me?”
You shake your head and squat in an attempt to collect the bowls and cups you had both used for dinner.
“I was gonna ask about if I should ask Petra or…why are you looking at me like that?”
A grin lifts the corner of his mouth. “Do I smell that bad?”
"No, I just don't want-"
"Don't want to what? Be caught sleeping with your captain?"
The double entendre catches you off guard.
"Yes, exactly that" your cheeks start to heat at the blatant flirting. It's not as if you weren't used to that or the idea of sharing a sleeping space with Levi, but to do it so close to other people that anybody could find out. The idea had you both terrified and excited.
You shake your head, wiping your mind free of the thought of you and Levi tangled up together. "I'm just going to share with the girls"
"No you're not," he states as he places his now clean sword to the side and reaches for the dishes in your hands. "I'm ordering you to share with me and as your Captain, you have to listen to me"
“I object to this" you complain as he pulls the plates from your hands.
“Good for you. But over-fucking-ruled"
a/n: ~ based on this prompt. "I object. Good for you. Over-fucking ruled"
