Apr 19, 2024
Me, every time
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Happy Birthday Weirdo! 🥳🥂 Thankful. Blessed. Content. 🙃 Another year older another year wiser 🤓 Thanks for the well wishes and thanks for being there. Much love 🤍 #nameday2022 #lifeinyour40s (at The Westin Maldives Miriandhoo Resort) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfLHPIHpUHVodgdNVSbLH-xUjRkfhSBO9FOUXg0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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26 Life Lessons I Learned by the Age of 42
It's been 27 months since I celebrated my 40th birthday. At first, I didn't want to accept I was getting older but then I realized being a woman in her 40s is not such a bad thing.
What I know for sure is that I am finally coming into my own. I don't even have to declare out loud that "I'm a grown ass woman" because you'll be able to see how grown I am in my actions and how I treat myself and others.
Four decades of life has taught me a great deal. Here's what I've learned.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to enjoy life.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to laugh out loud.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to save money for my older self.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to embrace my gray hairs, even the one on my vajayjay.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to cut negative people out of my circle, including family members.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to embrace young people. 20-somethings keep my mind young and up to speed on how the human culture continues to evolve.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to worry about situations I can't control.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to depend on a man's touch to climax. I can take care of that all by myself.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to walk with a smile, thanks to all of the catcalling construction workers.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to save "fuck you" money so when shit goes down in the job market I can survive without worrying about money. *
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to accept my dark skin and my kinky curly hair.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to trust my college age children. "They gone be aight."
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to be absolutely clear with my expectations of other people.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to argue my point of view with people who believe their opinion is law.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to care about trolls on social media.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to take cues from my kids. They are the enlightened ones.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to wear my heart on my sleeve.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to be attached to the length of my hair and if my edges are laid.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to walk with my head high and to speak with confidence.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned that I can't get inebriated like I used to. My body just can't take hangovers anymore. *
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to listen to that small still voice.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to save my tears for my children and their accomplishments. *
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to explain why I love country music.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned not to engage in drama. I just respond with a smile. *
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to sing out loud as I walk down the street with my headphones on.
As a #WomanInHer40s, I've learned to start my day with motivational sermons. My preferred preachers of choice are Joel Osteen and Bishop TD Jakes. *
I'll be sure to update my list of life lessons over the next 93 months. In the meantime, I'd like to hear from you. What life lessons have you learned now that you're in your 40s?
* For the full explanation tune into the podcast, Better Said Than Written. Tune in and subscribe to iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.
Dear Men, Let’s Talk About Sex...When You’re Up in Age!
Most of my female friends who moved on to their 50s told me that sex was amazing during their 40s. Unfortunately, it’s not the same for men. My friends told me that a man’s drive starts to decline in their late 40s and early 50s, while women’s sex drive continues at 100mph well into their 60s, 70s and beyond.
Say whaaaat?
As an inquisitive newbie in her 40s, I had to research. After a day of searching and reading articles on Google, I came across a short, insightful, valid explanation of why men lose their shagabilities when they get older.
Dr. Todd B. Nippoldt gave the following explanation on MayoClinic.org.
It's natural for men to notice a gradual decrease in sex drive (libido) as they age. The degree of this decline varies, but most men maintain at least some amount of sexual interest well into their 60s and 70s.
Sometimes, however, loss of sex drive is related to an underlying condition. Depression and stress often contribute to loss of sex drive in men.
Sometimes the culprit is a decrease in male sex hormones due to an endocrine disorder. In other cases, loss of sex drive may be a medication side effect.
If you're concerned about loss of sex drive — especially if the loss happened abruptly — consult your doctor. He or she will likely take a detailed history, do a physical exam and request lab tests to help determine what's causing the loss of sex drive.
Once any underlying factors are identified, your doctor can suggest appropriate treatment options. For example:
If loss of sex drive is related to stress or depression, psychotherapy alone or in combination with antidepressant medication may help.
Some medical conditions, such as obstructive sleep apnea, can cause an unusually low testosterone level, and treatment can return your testosterone level and sex drive to normal. If no medical cause is found, treatment options may include testosterone replacement therapy.
If a certain medication is contributing to loss of sex drive, your doctor may suggest an alternate drug.
Some people have a hard time discussing sex with their doctors. But treatments are often available for a loss of sex drive, so it's worth it to have an open and honest talk with your doctor.
That’s all... Now, what’s your take?
When people learn that I have a child in college and one who is about to graduate high school, they gasp and ask, “How old are you? You look too young to have a child in college or high school.” I then inform them that I started my family at the age of 20. “Oh. You were so young. At least now you’ll get to do all the things you didn't get to do when you were in your 20s.”
Happy Birthday to Me
3.3.2015 - Today I turned 40 and I am a nervous wreck about what to expect. Should I even be expecting anything besides a nice dinner, wine and cake? Most of the blogs I’ve read said that your life begins at 40. Most of my ‘40 Something’ friends said that the “40s are the best years of your life.” It’s time that I find out what this means exactly so when my younger family and friends finally gets to my age I can tell them. I’ll keep you in the loop as I navigate my way through my 40s. -- TC