i am forever thinking about chris turning up in the coma dream asking buck to help him find his dad and the way buck reacted to it bc it was so different than how he engaged with any other character in the dream. it was the first and only time he refused to engage with his subconscious, like he knew christopher was the one thing that could actually have the risk of making him want to to stay.
buck is ok to interact with what he thinks is ghost bobby and runs right past chim, saying maybe later to being given the opportunity to save this version of maddie, is able to talk openly with his fake parents & daniel about how he feels, why he needs to leave this place and he isn’t truly tempted at all really but when faced with chris it is so so different.
buck won’t engage with him like he is actually chris at all, has to affirm out loud that this chris is Not Real to be able to walk away from him and even then he had to acknowledge his guilt before he was able to start moving forward.
buck is always going to feel guilty about walking away from chris in his dream bc he promised he would be there for chris and that applies no matter what universe they are in but it was hearing the real christopher asking him to come back that bought buck to the hospital in his dream, kickstarting his journey of really trying to find a way out of the coma and so buck can’t even let himself pretend that this chris might be real for even a second bc if there is the slightest chance he is, that he is here and needs bucks help then it is just game over. he knows he needs to get back to the real chris in the real world bc he heard him telling him to come home and buck is not ever going to be able to ignore the voice of his real bff calling his name.