#lin rambles

[linderosse]

OOT REMAKE CONFIRMED!!!

We don’t know much so far, but graphics look cute!

I really hope they don’t change the story too much hahaha. But I’d love more tactically complex gameplay, and more/better dungeons. I’m tentatively excited to see what they can do with it!

Context: My original post about this rumored remake

[billlinguini]

no harley in the digital circus movie, 0/10, absolute dogshit i cannot believe this is what we're streaming to the public

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

I have a job interview tomorrow and am so anxious about it, I can barely focus on pretty much anything. 🫣🫣🫣

[stardustlin]

not back but yeah i’ve been so busy with college and talking to this one guy :,) in my soft lover girl era <3 he’s super fine and rly sweet.

[system-of-a-feather]

Back from therapy and Riku recommended me to ramble about this a bit here, but in terms of the narrative of our CSA as I see it, I was a very broken and very hurt child who really needed gentle care and affection and in a time of need, rather than getting that, I was fed to the wolves and eaten alive and left spat out the other end way worse than whatever horrid state I was in before I was eaten.

As far as the narrative goes, from that point my life froze for years until the past year or two, and it took a while to get time to restart, but while that pain and hurt is real and it was horrifically unjust and cruel and nothing that I deserved, I have the care and affection that I needed at the time here within the system and the few people in our life that our system puts in our company.

I was failed by the world and the adults and peers around me there and got horribly hurt and taken advantage of and that betrayal was deadly, but it really is okay now because I have what I need to live again. It still hurts if I sit on it and simmer on it and I don't think itll ever go away, but life continues beyond the simmer and I'm ever thankful for my second chance at doing and getting what I needed now that I am free and honestly, I am blessed to have the care and love I needed even if it came late and after a horrible failure.

I honestly have more support and care and a more intensely supportive system that helps me and cares about me more than I ever could have dreamt of having before hand, so honestly, I struggle to hold long term complaints. Horrible things happened, but I currently have way more than what I could imagine when I was in need, and its met so much more than I requested that it does honestly make up for all the bleeding wounds I took on.

I guess I forgive the world for the cruel joke cause I guess I am just thankful to be part of this system and have so many supportive peers in this brain and body with me. It makes me feel like part of something and like I belong and am wanted and cared and thats really all I wanted since I've existed. I'm pretty happy and satisfied and its weird to say considering I was trapped in it for years upon years, but the CSA trauma I held just seems to disappear in the background as a side arc to my life the longer I float around the front and Ray helps me integrate more into the system. It's authentically kind of becoming an "oh that, right" than the endless spiraling void it used to be.

[linwritesif]

not-sparkling water just tastes sad

[sinnersandsaints-linwrites]

i'll be taking a small break

So… yeah.

tl;dr i'm taking a small break from posting content on tumblr, longer explanation (+a bit of a rambling of mine under the cut.)

I don’t know why, but for a bit now I’ve been having sort of an imposter syndrome (?), I don’t know if it’s even the right thing for it. Basically, every time I publish an update, I’m happy—like, super happy—but then weeks go by… and basically every time like, 3+ weeks go by, I start getting the more or less subtle questions about ‘when is the next update?’ or ‘how is the writing going?’ and I’m just ashamed to say for example, that I have not even started to write a chapter, or that I’m still on the first scene in some chapter. That I have no idea when will the next update be, or that I didn’t write anything in the last 2 weeks.

Realistically I know I can take all the time I want—there’s no rush, after all—but there’s still this heavy, nauseating feeling of shame all the time. Like a little voice telling me it’s not fair to keep people waiting, or that I could really post monthly updates if I only forced myself to, or prioritised it over things like mindless scrolling of tiktok, reading fanfics, or watching shows. I can’t even say I’m taking ‘inspiration’ because majority of the time I’m just doing anything but what I should be doing.

And I see others updating often, or pushing out so much quality content, dropping long game updates, and yeah I’m comparing myself and my work to them. Yes, I’m aware everyone’s writing pace is different, short updates are just as good as big ones, and I don’t have to constantly drop a lot of content on Tumblr. I’m frustrated because I know this, but it’s still there. 

I also don’t feel like part of the community a lot of the time, I don’t know why. I just feel like I’m watching everything from the sidelines, just sometimes pitching in but most of the time I’m just a passive observer that’s not really in it, if that makes sense. It’s something I struggle with in general, in offline-friend groups and communities etc., idk honestly.

I’ve had low-mental health days more often that good ones for the past 1-2 weeks, and Pride honestly… kind of just amplified it, because I can’t be open or I won’t have a job. I just won’t, there’s little to no chances that I’d be hired if I was out. I can’t be open or I will be assaulted—even if I just walk with a friend, holding their hand, we’re getting looks. After going to Pride, literally not even an hour later, a group of boys (and I mean boys, 10-18 years old) burst into an establishment I and others from Pride were in, started screaming slurs and derogatory things about queer people, and burned a pride flag. Security was there, didn’t do anything. No one did anything, honestly, because everyone kind of just didn’t want to be targeted next. I’m tired also of arguing that my sexuality, romantic attraction etc. are valid, or people from my own community misgendering me. 

Basically, a lot of things just… accumulated in the past weeks and so I think I’ll be taking a small break from posting content Tumblr, just to recharge, focus on finishing the university (only a month to go thankfully) and hopefully finishing one of the chapters. I’ll still probably pop in to check or shit-post sometimes, but yeah. 

Stay safe everyone <3

[linelpisffxiv]

The one thing I love about the G'raha fanbase is that...

I don't think we ship just one WoL or generic WoL with him.

I know I ship several specific WoLs with him and they aren't just mine.

Vivi is different from Raih'a is different from Z'ahra is different from Lin is different from Rai is different from Leilei is different from...

Like, I ship generic WoL and Meteor with him too, but like... I can list several specifics that I'm all over for it with.

(I also ship him with quite a few other NPCs too. Snoegeim, Deryk, and Hyth all have desires to or have tapped that in various other verses, especially Teri's and Mneme's. And I like the idea of G'raha/Estinien in that funny High School AU. And I'm certain we can get many more options in the future, but those are the three on the top of my list. There's literally only two/arguably three NoTPs I have. Well, other than G'raha/Any WoL not into him.)

Anyway, yeah. I don't think I'm the only one not pretending that these scenarios are secretly my WoL and just... genuinely cheering on and enjoying each specific WoL's personal story with him.

(This applies to many other characters as well. If I'm enjoying pics of your WoL with a character, I'm not pretending it's Meteor or mine there. Your WoL's relationship with Y'shtola is different from Teri's. Go let your WoL live their best life with her. And all the WoLs who are with other characters too. I'm just... cheering you on.)