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Also I have no health insurance rn which is really really not ideal and I don't like thinking about how I have a limited amount of my current medications (HRT included) which I don't know when or if I can get them represcribed to me lollllll (because I'm on a lot of psychiatric and also pain management meds from Japan rn and in the US sometimes they straight up refuse to represcribe stuff from abroad even if the American equivalent of the med exists. They tell me I don't really "need" it . Lol. )

#lionclowning #ventposting #I hate USA healthcare so much

I went to 3 different arts related businesses irl today asking if they were hiring and got rejected from all of them (as expected lol) but at least 2 of them told me I could come back and staple a business card/self advertisement/resume to their community board so that's nice at least :)

#lionclowning #my mom wants me to get a job bc I just moved back in with her and she can't really support me on her own income unfortunately #this begins the jobstruggle #and I still have to finish all my overdue commissions #ideally I'd like to find a way to sell prints or stickers of my works but it's difficult to find services that work well #<- by that I mean a balance of printing company that provides profit to the artist while also treats their own workers ethically #also I'd want the products themselves to be printed of reasonable quality too of course. much to think about.#the struggler

Cat freak always comes back 🐈

#lionclowning #doodles #art #WIP

Maxwell is back in the USA (☹️)

#lionclowning #maxunwell

I forgot it's mikoto Wednesday

#lionclowning #if anyone is wondering i am surviving and I will be okay and it will all be okay

kinda crazy how this has unexpectedly been one of the worst years of my entire life (also with some very very wonderful moments and times of course) bc i was expecting it to be so good but somehow like everything that could possibly go wrong did lol

#lionclowning #guy who had to move houses twice in 3 months and is now getting ready to move again #spent time in an ambulance again #called hotlines and countless professionals in a time of crisis and couldnt actually get any help until a whole fucking week later lol #more medical trauma #soooo much more other new traumas #socially isolated #due to entire life revolving around trying to get medical care / trying to survive intensive study program / trying to stay alive #ventposting #tw medical #tw trauma #idk how else to tag #i wanted to be able to accomplish something with this incredible opportunity ive been given (study abroad scholarship)#but in the end i feel like i failed lolllllllllll #i wanted to at least be able to enjoy myself and somehow even that was too much to ask #there have truly only been moments. passing brief seconds or minutes when i felt fully at ease #other than that it was constant worrying and overwhelm #it was so so so much #but i suppose i did learn a lot and experience a lot.#if i could FUCKING REMEMBER any of it LOLLLLLL #anyway dont worry about me #im going back to live with my mother later this month and that will be its own form of misery and suffering but at least no paying rent #and ill get to be with my kitty cats #ill keep living and keep trying to make whatever art i can #because i have to

I paid money for a woman to slap me in the face life is beautiful

#lionclowning

Trying to pass as fem today at girls muscle bar

#lionclowning

#lionclowning

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