Another rough recording of a song I wrote. I wrote this one a few months ago about dealing with an emotionally abusive ex after a mutual friend passed away unexpectedly. This isn’t so much about my friend who passed away...it’s about being frustrated that I was trying to process his death while my ex was trying to use his death as an excuse to contact me. He also twisted the narrative to make it sound like my friend had committed suicide, but that was not the case. I remember being frustrated that this was the song I wrote, because I WANTED to write a song about my friend...but as always, my ex and the chaos he brought felt larger than life. My feelings felt like they were being held hostage. I was very sad, shocked and in a confused place. This is what came out. I hope this speaks to someone out there.
I want a hand to hold at night.
I need one free to stop the fights.
I want a horse to beat until he drinks.
I want to scream “It’s all your fault”,
but I don’t want to take your call.
I want a bird to cage until he sings.
You want a rollercoaster romance.
You want the cheering of the crowd.
You want the Cadillac back end put on your Toyota Prius mouth.
I don’t think just like you,
but sometimes my friends, they die too.
I want some sage to cast a spell
but I don’t want to go to hell.
I want to be friends with everyone I know.
I want to go so far away,
but I don’t want to leave today.
I want to go high when everything goes low.
You want to make up all the lyrics
but you don’t want to have to sing.
You want the comprehensive coverage,
but you don’t want to cover me.
I don’t grieve just like you,
but sometimes my friends, they die too.
You want a rollercoaster romance.
You want the cheering of the crowd.
You want the Cadillac back end put on your Toyota Prius mouth.
I don’t grieve just like you,
but sometimes my friends, they die,
and ya, sometimes I do cry.
But sometimes my friends, they die too.