avengers + loklyss baking a big batch of cookies together (gone wrong)
scott: "DID YOU JUST MIX THAT SUGAR?"
achlyss: "....the book said mix sugar with butter"
rhodey: "IT SAID POWERED SUGAR . NOT NORMAL SUGAR YOU IDIOT"
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wanda: "ACHLYSS DONT EAT THE RAW EGGS YOURE DISGUSTING"
achlyss: "THOR JUST DID THAT TOO NO ONE BAT AN EYE"
thor: "..i needed my protein ☹️ bruce told me its good for muscle"
loki: "you OAF youre built of muscle you do NOT need any more- achlyss no more eggs STOP THAT- NO DONT YOU DARE-"
rhodey: "soo whos volunteering for a trip to the grocery store . we definitely to stock up on eggs now"
(more shenanigans under cut <3)
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peter, concerned: "...guys achlyss just ate the baking powder"
bruce, jokingly: "i bet ten bucks he explodes"
bucky, serious: "eleven bucks he gets the worst cramps ever"
tony, even more serious: "twelve bucks virus makes him pass out within ten mins"
loki: "WILL YOU STOP BETTING ON MY PARTNER. *quietly* fifty bucks if he passes out in five minutes"
tony: "we'll see about that, reindeer games"
vision: "is this what they call an auction?"
-
achylss, eating the dough: ^_^
collectively: "WE WANTED TO USE THAT"
achlyss, grinning, eating the last bits of it: "did y' say something??"
Clint: "CMONNNN MAN"
sam: "we turned away for ONE second. ONE."
bucky, patting sams back: "his greed sickens me"
wanda, sighing: "i knew this would happen, so i had vision buy extra ingredients"
vision: "i would highly recommend we have loki put a spell on the dough against ruler"
-
achylss: "Take of the spell"
loki: "No"
achylss: "Loki."
loki: "Achylss."
achylss: "CMON JUST LET ME EAT IT . I WANT TO GET SICK"
loki: "no"
achlyss, taking a deep breath: "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLE-"
-
achlyss: "GUYS I NEED THIS WHY ARE YOU SO AGAINST IT . PLEASEEUUHHH GIMME A BITE"
nat, who prepared new dough just for him: "here you go"
achlyss, takes a piece of it and eats it: "..."
everyone thinking: (natasha our lord and saviour. please let this work)
achlyss, shrugging: "...that just doesnt feel the same anymore"
collectively: groaning/sighing
sam: "oh come ON. DUDE JUST EAT IT WHO CARES IF IT HAS ONE MILLIGRAM OF SUGAR LESS IN IT"
achylss: "YOU GUYS ARE NO FUN"
clint: "oh i PROMISE you'll have fun once the cookies FINISH BAKING"
loki: "i bet yall hell be standing in a corner looking sooo sad at these cookies and when hes calmed down, there will be NOTHING left"
bruce & peter in unison: "but we promised to leave some for may"
steve: "you still have time to hide some"
peter: "lets go dr. banner, quick, while loki distracts him!"
-
thor: "i suggest we just buy some poptarts"
nat: "we all know youll hoard them"
Thor: "lies ! i would never ! brother, tell them !"
loki, from the other corner of the kitchen: "you're digging your own grave asking the god of LIES for this kind of favor!"
achlyss: "i can assure you guys, thor would never eat poptarts all by himself-"
tony: "just like youd never eat dough, yardstick?"
-
these are mostly ooc but i thought it wld be really fun to post these ^_^ also ignore the amount of spelling / grammar mistakes in this...... i kinda rushed it </3
might even write a chapter like this for my happy au fic lololol
(thank you @misswritealot for writing some of the parts from this with me <3<3<3)
avengers + loklyss playing cards against humanity (gone wrong) (pt1)
another lil something while i work on the main story <3 enjoy the happy au shenanigans (while you still can) ^_^
sidenote: their way of playing the game isnt like what youd typically see. each team gets some white cards, and one buzzer. the game tsar reads one black card aloud and the one who pressed the buzzer the quickest gets to answer. theres no winner, for safety purposes. card tsar stays same for the entire game.
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Steve: Ruler and Loki didn't want to play seperately, so we need to play in pairs to keep things fair. Peter, you can team up with Bucky. Tony, Rhodey. Wanda and Vision. Clint and Nat. Bruce and Thor. Scott? You're with Sam. I'm going to be the card tsar.
Sam: Why are you the tsar?
Steve: I'm pretty sure I can be a good regulator when things get out of hand - and we all know they will.
(more under cut <3)
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Thor: This is my first time playing such a game, I apologize if I break any rules.
Bruce, patting his back: No worries, I'm sure it's a first time for half of us at least. 'sides, Loki hadn-
Loki, grinning: Ah, ah. I've played this game with my darling many times before. *turning to the others* I guess you could say I'm - We're - experts at this game.
Tony: We'll see about that, Reindeer Games.
-
Steve: And today’s soup is Cream of.....?
Wanda, using her powers to cancel out others' buzzers: Vision, that one.
Others, visibly frustrated: Oh, come on! / No fair! / That's against the rules! / Wanda!
Vision: And today’s soup is Cream of A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.
Steve, pinching the bridge of his nose: I think I should've added that usage of powers is forbidden.
-
Steve: Man, this is bullshit. Fuck...
Sam, slamming the buzzer full force: Go, little guy!
Scott: Little guy? Are you- Ugh-... Man, this is bullshit. Fuck The swim team, all at once.
Achlyss, amused: All at once? Scotty, didn't take you for that kind of guy.
Rhodey: Why, speaking from experience?
Loki, choking on his drink: Ahem-...Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
-
Steve: What gets better with age?
Peter, quicker than anyone: A stray pube.
Bucky: You didn't press the buzzer.
Peter: Ah, shit, I forgot-
Tony: Language! Steve doesn't like cussing.
Steve, rolling his eyes: I thought we were over this. Peter, don't worry about it. Just keep that in mind next time.
-
Steve: ... . High five, bro.
*loud buzz*
Thor: Amputees. High five, bro.
Bruce: Thor, no!
Bucky: You... Really, Odinson?
Thor, firmly: What? It's a kind gesture. And amputees are normal people. They should get high fives.
Tony: I don't think you understand..Let me-
Rhodey, quietly, shaking his head: Don't do it, man. He's too kind for this.
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Steve: In return for my soul, the Devil promised me ... but all I got was ... ?
*quiet buzz*
Loki: In return for my soul, the Devil promised me Flightless Birds but all I got was Gloryholes.
Bruce: That literally makes zero sense.
Achlyss: Isn't that the game's goal?
Thor: Oh, so it shouldn't make sense?
Bucky: You're saying that saying "Amputees, high five" makes sense?
Steve, clearing his throat: Guys, I'll stop you here.
-
Steve: Well, if ... is good enough for ..., it's good enough for me.
*buzz*
Wanda: Well if Another shot of morphine is good enough for The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life, it’s good enough for me.
Tony: This one actually makes sense, hm.
Vision: Well noted, Mr. Stark. I picked out the most logical phrases to fill out the blank spces.
Tony: That wasn't exactly a compliment.
-
Steve: You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on ... , and then there's some stuff about ... , and then it ends with ...?
*long, loud buzz*
Tony: You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II, and then there’s some stuff about Saliva, and then it ends with Snorting coke off a clown's boner.
Achlyss: That sounds like an Oscar-worthy movie.
Clint: I mean, we could always recreate that.
Everyone else: ??? What. Wait that sounds fun. We're in.
Steve, stiffling a laugh: I guess we know what we're doing next friday.
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Steve: But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you...?
*short buzz*
Achlyss, looking at Loki, grinning: But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you Loose lips.
Scott: Can you two *not*, for once? Next time you're acting like these, Cap's going to mix the teams.
Loki, crossing his arms: Tsk, I really don't know what you mean. You have a vulgar mind, tiny mortal.
Scott: Tiny? Vulgar? That's not what I meant, I just-
Steve, shaking his head: Let's move on.
-
Steve: During high school, I never fit in until I found club...?
Clint, slamming the buzz button full-force: This one, go, go!
Nat: During high school, I never really fit in until I found club Auschwitz.
Bucky: Jokes like these I... really don't understand.
Wanda: You'll get used to them, I'm sure. One way to cope with trauma is to laugh, and it helps because-
Vision, softly: I don't think the Avengers need group therapy now, Wanda. Everyone crying would make the atmosphere unpleasant.
Loki, scoffing: What makes you think everyone's gonna cry, huh?
Steve: Let me stop you right there. Next round.
-
Steve: In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for...?
*buzz*
Rhodey: In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for My worthless son.
Wanda, visibly distraught: That's...
Peter, snorts: That one's peak.
Tony: You're not supposed to find this funny, kid.
Peter: ...sorry, mr. stark.
-
Steve: Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children...?
*long buzz*
Achlyss: Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children The penis kiss.
Everyone, mortified: What's wrong with you?
Steve, running a hand over his face: That's it. You're changing teams. Ruler, you're with Thor. Loki, you go with Banner.
Loklyss, in unison: C'mon, please, one more chance!
Achlyss: I promise we'll be normal!
Loki, whispering: Keep these promises to yourself, darling.
-
part two is in the works rn <3 im writing these to get out of writers block, so please be patient w me ^_^ lmk if theres something youd like me to add for pt 2 !!
most of this is ooc, im sorry abt that guhh. i js thought it wld be something fun to write after @/ironspider-noctis suggested it :3
all in one day guys im on a roll srsly... :3 (in the more. detailed pieces. the longer the hair the older achlyss is !) im especially proud of the "i love my spouse" one lol
achlyss is so stupid i hate him so much can you tell /silly
its purely based on what ive written down so far for doomsday lore + fic scenes.... im kinda unsatisfied with how its black n white but uhh not much i can do abt that.
u cld say this one is from achlyss' perspective. id make a loki one but. im not sure if anyone wld be interested lol (im kidding. ill make a loki one. later.)
