#looking inside

[onecacao]

Sometimes the voices in your head will provide a plausible, even justifiable reason for the way things are with you. Don't accept them. The solution to the problem you face is in the problem. Start there.

[justme1963]

Inside Truth

an episode of darkness of black ink on a black page and who can read such writing who can see through closed eyelids the same looking inward may find some truth not on the page some may find only darkness

ME

[random-metropolis]

[opulentperimetros]

Don’t mind the sounds of screams echoing down the main corridor of Talon HQ, or pay any attention to the couple of interns running for their lives. 

Seems the wrong group of people knocked over one of Maximilien’s book shelves and is now being chased down the hall by a large mechanical Doberman. 

[onecacao]

Hello,

You've given me so much time to spend with myself and the ones I'm supposed to love the most that I am beside myself. Trying to put the best foot forward inside of a difficult situation, but the truth is, I've been busy all this time doing things - pretending. Expecting that everything I need will be given just because I showed up. Then I realize that my kids want to be with their friends not me. And my spouse is there because ... I'm not really sure. You see, I've been used to doing my own thing, living by my own rules, thinking that kids should be seen and not heard, that wives should submit to their husbands but those sir are the very wrong words.

Now that the business, I mean the busyness is gone and I can't find toilet paper in the stores and I'm starting to see that the world didn't really revolve around me. All this time I've been praying for myself, asking for this, seeking that, when others have been paying dearly and I was ignorant to their cries.

Here I am, chilling in my crib because I've got a fridge stacked with ribs and booze, a different one to choose each day. But with no neighbors, no friends to watch the game with, my kids playing Fortnite and my spouse watching reruns - I've had some time to think. To prioritize, to realign my perspectives. Just yesterday I heard myself criticize some people for being in the streets, congregating in the market instead of being home trying to be safe. But then I was told, that their worries are not about 401k's or student loans, they're still not sure they'll be paid next week, so they're out hustling, desperately trying to make ends meet.

Hello, if you can hear me, I think I'm starting to get it and I hope to never forget the little things that matter most. I used to think it was only the big things, I was programmed that way. It was the next big win at work. It was so much about being self made, me being the man.

I used to think that I knew what fear was but I don't. I'm not a bad person, but the pollen affects my allergies and I'm afraid to sneeze for fear that my neighbors might think I'm infected and further isolate me. My kids are going crazy because they're used to the teachers being right, not me. They have no friends to play with and it's pressures all around.

And I have to face some truths I've been hiding from. That life is really at home and the little things do matter. Just because I'm the boss it's not my place to treat my staff like grass. I cannot hide behind religion and can't demand respect if I'm not even sure how to give it. That money is a means, not the end. That the pursuit of happiness is elusive and reason or meaning is what I should strive for instead. That I can be happy with the lot that I'm given, and not get angry when someone isn't like me. That I should be more attentive to my environment and act responsibly if I want fresh air to breathe.

Hello. I hope that I'm here tomorrow and I pray that everyone suffering will get better. I also hope that when it's over, that we, this world will do better with life after covid-19.

Amen

- Rory Mitchell

[onecacao]

No looking ahead in the present

No peaking behind in the now

All that you can see "is"

All knowledge is contained in "I am"

[hallucine-entertainment]